Long rant ahead, but it's worth it.

I used to work with a professor (let's call him Dr. X) and developed a backend + acted as sysadmin for our team's research project. Two semesters ago, they wanted to revamp the front end + do some data visualization, so a girl (let's call her W) joined the team and did all that. We wanted to merge the two sites and host on azure, but due to issues and impeding conferences that require our data to be online, we kept postponing. I graduate this semester and haven't worked with the team for a while, so they have a new guy in charge of the azure server (let's call him H), and yesterday my professor sends me (let's call me M), H and W an email telling us to coordinate to have the merge up on azure in 2-3 days, max. The following convo was what I had with H:

M: Hi, if you just give me access to azure I'll be able to set everything up myself, also I'll need a db set up, and just send me the connection string.
H: Hi, we won't have dbs because that is extra costs involved since we don't have dynamic content. Also I can't give you access, instead push everything on git and set up the site on a test azure server and I will take it from there.
M: There is proprietary data on the site...
H: Oh really? I don't know what's on it.
<and yet he knows we have no dynamic data>
M: Fine, I'll load the data some other way, but I have access to all the data anyway, just talk to Dr. X and you'll see you can give me access. Delete my access after if you want.
H: No, just do what I said: git then upload to test azure account.

Fine, he's a complete tool, but I like Dr. X, so I message W and tell her we have to merge, she tells me that it's not that easy to set it up on github as she's using wordpress. She sends me instructions on what to do, and, lo and behold, there's a db in her solution. Ok, I go back to talking to H:

M: W is using a db. Talk to her so we can figure out whether we need a database or not.
H: We can't use a database because we want to decrease costs.
M: Yes I know that, so talk to her because that probably means she has to re-do some stuff, which might take some time. Also there might be dynamic content in what she's doing.
H: This is your project, you talk to her.
<I'm starting to get mad right now>
M: I don't know what they had her do apart from how it interfaces with what I've done.
H: We still can't have databases.
M: Listen, I don't do wordpress, and I'm not gonna mess with it, you talk to her
H: I won't do any development
<So you won't do any dev, but you won't give me access to do it either?>
M: Man, the bottleneck isn't the merging right now, it's the fact that W needs a db
H: I know, so talk to her
M: THE RESTRICTION TO NOT HAVE DATABASES IS NOT MINE, IT'S YOURS, YOU TALK TO HER. I can't evaluate whether it's a reasonable enough reason or not since I don't know the requirements or what they're willing to spend.
H: It's your project.
M: Then give me fucking access to azure and I'll handle it, you know you'll have to set up wordpress again regardless whether we set it up the first time.
H: Man just do your job.

At this point I lost it. WHAT A FUCKING TOOL. He doesn't wanna do dev work, wants me to go through the trouble of setting up on a test subscription first, and doesn't want to give me access to azure. What's more, he did shit all and doesn't want to anything else. Well fuck you. I googled him, to see if he's anyone important, if he's done anything notable which is why he's being so God damn condescending. MY INTERNSHIP ALONE ECLIPSES HIS ENTIRE CV. Then what the fuck?

There's also this that happened sometime during our talk:

M: You'll have to take to Dr. Y so he'll change the DNS to point to the azure subscription instead of my server.
H: Yea don't worry, too early for that.
M: DNS propagation takes 24 hours...
H: Yea don't worry.

DNS propagation allows the entire web to know that your website is hosted on a different server so it can change where it's pointing to. We have to do this in 2-3 days. Why do work in parallel? Nah let's wait.

I went over his head and talked to the professor directly, and despite wanting to tell him that he was both drunk and high the day he hired that guy, I kept it professional. He hasn't replied yet, but this fucker's pompous attitude is just too much for me alone, so I had to share.

PS: I named his contact as Annoying Prick 4 minutes into our chat. Gonna rename him cz that seems tooooooo soft a name right now.

Are you moving to Gitlab?
Shocker: Gitlab is hosted on Microsoft Azure.

So I have been temporarily assigned to new team .. moving from mainly backend.. to help the Web team ..

Me .: Aight guys .. what we working with ?
Team: MVC .net
Me: awesome ..
Team: but we have our own version of MVC .
Me : 🤔 your own MVC ?
Team: yeh we only buse controllers.. but no models at all ?
Me.: 😲 So where does the view gets its data from ?
Team : from Azure functions apps.
M: how ?
T: ( in very proud tone ) .. we use js to call all functions.
M: so why not just use HTML pages . Why MVC then !
T: coz MVC is modern architecture design.
M: but you not using it and all of calles to the functions are exposed publicly.
T: 🧐 THIS IS MODERN DESIGN !!
M: 🤪 My bad .. what the hell do I know ! I only been developing MVC applications for 7 years !!
Please tell me more about your " Modern Design "
🤮🤮🤮

Boss: Let's move our servers to the cloud. We should use Amazon Azure.

*Interview*

Interviewer: We have an opening. Are you interested to work?

Me: What is that I'll be doing?

I: What technologies and languages do you know?

Me: I know Scala, Java, Spark, Angular, Typescript, blah blah. What is your tech stack?

I: Any experience working on frontend?

Me: Yes. But what do you use for it?

I: Can you work with databases?

Me: I can, on SQL based. What are yours?

I: Can you do big data processing?

Me: I know Spark, if that's what you are asking for. What is it that you actually do?

I: Any experience in cloud development?

Me: Yes. AWS? Azure? GCP?

I: Do you know CI CD?

Me: Excuse me.. I've been asking a lot of questions but you're not paying attention to what I'm asking. Can you please answer the questions I asked.

I: Yes. Go ahead.

Me: What will be my position?

I: A full stack developer.

Me: What technologies do you use in your project?

I: We use all the latest tech.

Me: Like?

I: All latest tech.

Me: You mentioned big data processing?

I: Yes. Processing data from DB and generating reports.

Me: what do you use for that?

I: Java.

Me: Are you planning to rebuild it using Spark or something and deploy in the cloud?

I: No we're not rebuilding it. Just some additions to the existing.

Me: Then what's with cloud? Why did you ask for that?

I: Just to know if you're familiar.

Me: So I'll be working with Java. Okay. What do you use for UI?

I: Flash

Me: 🙄

I sat for a couple of minutes contemplating life.

I: Are you willing to join?

Me: No. Not at all. Thankyou for the offer.

I beg your pardon Microsoft, what did you just call me?

Fucking HR cunts. I found a nice computer vision vacancy and decided to apply, look what these motherfuckers require :

- Java
- Typescript
- C++
- Javascript
- Amazon Web Services
- OpenCV
- Kubernates
- Spring Boot
- Azure
- Jenkins
- Postgres
- MongoDB
- ELK
- Web Sockets
- Hadoop
- Grafana - Prometheus
- Java EE
- Graph QL
- Kafka
- R
- Angular
- Puppet
- NiFi
- Docker
- Qpid
- Golang
- FPGA-VHDL
- Python

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCKING FuCK OFF you monkeys. Shove your vacancy up your ass.

Another vacancy, another instance, I'm going to apply at employers site, (they sell some sort of CRM crapshit) forms not working, bc not fucking connected to anything. Just a fucking HTML and JS popup notification for submission laying around with its legs wide spread. Like its copied from w3schools or something.
Looked more on the site it is fucked from all sides like it's made by a school kid.

So I fired an email to the HR, something like "I went to apply but your forms are not working, I found the issue, it's that. Also I found some glory holes in your site, hope your I.T. finds them too. Anyways here is my CV, have a nice day"

Day later I'm shortlisted.

I was gonna talk shit about Microsoft but I just won an Azure swagbag on Twitter so I'll keep it to myself for today.

Boss: log in to azure and fix this server
Me: I don't have access
Boss: why not?
Me: you never gave me access...
Boss: ...
Me: hello?
Boss: (never responds in chat)
Me: 😒

My humble work space :)

Today in train programming:
Pushed a new build before pulling into station
Battery dies
Test on tablet
Build is broken, files missing
Upload files manually to Azure (WHY)
try to log in to my sure to treat, forgotten password
Try to reset password, smtp details in DB are wrong...

I'm doing well

When you see it 😂😂

I wrote an azure web job to screen scrape a specific page of disneystore.com and send me an email if an Elsa dress was in stock so I could buy it for my daughter. This dress would be available for literally seconds at a time.

Every year my team runs an award ceremony during which people win “awards” for mistakes throughout the year. This years was quite good.

The integration partner award- one of our sysAdmins was talking with a partner from another company over Skype and was having some issues with azure. He intended to send me a small rant but instead sent “fucking azure can go fuck itself, won’t let me update to managed disks from a vhd built on unmanaged” to our jv partner.

Sysadmin wannabe award (mine)- ran “Sudo chmod -R 700 /“ on one of our dev systems then had to spend the next day trying to fix it 😓

The ain’t no sanity clause award - someone ran a massive update query on a prod database without a where clause

The dba wannabe award - one of our support guys was clearing out a prod dB server to make some disk space and accidentally deleted one of the databases devices bringing it down.

The open source community award - one of the devs had been messing about with an apache proxy on a prod web server and it ended up as part of a botnet

There were others but I can’t remember them all

My six word horror story.

We switched from aws to azure

Not just another Windows rant:

*Disclaimer* : I'm a full time Linux user for dev work having switched from Windows a couple of years ago. Only open Windows for Photoshop (or games) or when I fuck up my Linux install (Arch user) because I get too adventurous (don't we all)

I have hated Windows 10 from day 1 for being a rebel. Automatic updates and generally so many bugs (specially the 100% disk usage on boot for idk how long) really sucked.

It's got ads now and it's generally much slower than probably a Windows 8 install..

The pathetic memory management and the overall slower interface really ticks me off. I'm trying to work and get access to web services and all I get is hangups.

Chrome is my go-to browser for everything and the experience is sub par. We all know it gobbles up RAM but even more on Windows.

My Linux install on the same computer flies with a heavy project open in Android Studio, 25+ tabs in Chrome and a 1080p video playing in the background.

Up until the creators update, UI bugs were a common sight. Things would just stop working if you clicked them multiple times.

But you know what I'm tired of more?

The ignorant pricks who bash it for being Windows. This OS isn't bad. Sure it's not Linux or MacOS but it stands strong.

You are just bashing it because it's not developer friendly and it's not. It never advertises itself like that.

It's a full fledged OS for everyone. It's not dev friendly but you can make it as much as possible but you're lazy.

People do use Windows to code. If you don't know that, you're ignorant. They also make a living by using Windows all day. How bout tha?

But it tries to make you feel comfortable with the recent bash integration and the plethora of tools that Microsoft builds.

IIS may not be Apache or Nginx but it gets the job done.

Azure uses Windows and it's one of best web services out there. It's freaking amazing with dead simple docs to get up and running with a web app in 10 minutes.

I saw many rants against VS but you know it's one of the best IDEs out there and it runs the best on Windows (for me, at least).

I'm pissed at you - you blind hater you.

Research and appreciate the things good qualities in something instead of trying to be the cool but ignorant dev who codes with Linux/Mac but doesn't know shit about the advantages they offer.

I actually like Microsoft these days. Despite developing on Mac machines, we use VSTS for code repo, build/release pipelines and work item tracking, and Azure for all things cloud. It all works incredibly well together and at low cost.

Microsoft has changed ethos massively in the last few years. In my opinion, the classic dev mantra of “Microsoft is shit and evil, Linux is flawless” is outdated and getting kind of boring.

Dear people who think Microsoft buying GitHub is fine because Microsoft is more supportive of open source than before.

Here's the facts.

1) Microsoft is a large tech company investing in many things. That's a fact.

2) If Microsoft were to exploit GitHub, it would be a benefit to other departments in Microsoft. This is also a fact.

(For example, if tomorrow GitHub was tied to azure or some annoying shit like that.)

3) If such exploitation occurs, it will most likely be to the detriment of the free community of developers. This is a highly probable outcome.

4) The only question now is this.

"Does Microsoft care about open source enough to cut down on potential profit."

The answer of any sane, unbiased individual had to be no.

This is why people leave GitHub today. It is NOT because some childish hatred for Microsoft. In fact, I would've personally moved out of GitHub if "any" other large tech company had bought it, thereby compromising it's neutrality.

Edit: spelling

Does anyone know a free hosting that support .net core web api without credit card? It’s just for a school project. IBM Bluemix only supports normal web app and azure needs credit card

Hoooly shit, I'm starting to love my university.

Yesterday or so, they offered me a 1TB lifetime Google Drive account.

Today they offered me a Microsoft Imagine account where I'm able to get any Microsoft license I want for free for 5 years!
(In Portugal! WTF!)

Win10, Office 2016, VSEnterprise or community 2017, SQL Server 2017, Azure!!!, etc!
Wohooooo!

I'm sorry to all the Linux people, I'm a Microsoft guy...

Setup my port honeypot today finally, including port 22, then wrote a custom dashboard for some data tracking, feels great to have it open on my screen seeing the bans just roll in every 2 seconds of refresh, the highest hits are as expected from china, russia and india, also filed ~700 reports and already got 300 banned from their service. (mainly Microsoft Azure for whatever reason)

I wanted to first automate that (or atleast blacklist report to various IP lists via API), but then I was afraid that I'll be one day stupid enough to somehow get banned - don't want myself to get reported lol

Microsoft's Azure team understands.

Won the 2nd prize in a Microsoft hosted hackathon. No for Windows but they really have good cognitive services. Used Azure vision api, one of the good ocr service available.

I booted up the biggest windows VM azure could have and posted this on facebook saying something like "it's about time i make an upgrade"

I have never doubted my abilities more, before this happened:

I got a Linux VM on Azure, downloaded apache httpd source which I proceeded to configure, make and install.

As expected, install failed with something related to apr and apr-util.

Searched several mailing lists, tried out several configure options, nothing worked..

After almost an hour, it stuck to me, all I had to do was "sudo yum install httpd" !!!

Disappointed that I missed something so simple, but when I did that, it came back with 'Nothing to do'...

Realized, httpd was pre-installed in that VM.. I just had to start the service !!!

:facepalm

Mid-Friday: Boss: Start programming this application.
Me: Cool, how will it be setup? what lang-
Boss: Everything's already setup, just start programming in PHP. Check in and make sure it's done by Wednesday morning before 9.
Mid-Tuesday:
Me: Cool, it's done. Had some trouble with connecting our database to the clients, some permissions were conflicting.
Boss: Now I need you to pull it, publish it to our other azure portal, change it to ASP.NET Core 2.1 MVC and install it to teams. Also change the database to MySQL.
Me: I thought everything was already setup.
Boss: things change.
Me: Cool.
*Pulls an all nighter*
Me: Something isn't right...
Wednesday
Me*hasn't slept yet*: It's done.
Boss: Why do you look so tired?
Me: I was working last night
Boss: Well you shouldn't do that.
Me: The deadline is today. only way it was going to get done before 9 was to do it last night.
Boss: Doesn't matter.
9am Meeting:
Boss: it was easy, no hassle, it's up and running.
Me: no hassle?

Finally some "me time" on a Saturday!

Microsoft Azure documentation telling you how to exit vi. Lame.

who wants a free 100 dollars azure voucher valid for one month?

To all the people migrating from github to gitlab, just so you know gitlab is hosted on azure.

Just attended Azure DevOps Launch here in Philippines

Those managers who think that Microsoft is the only platform and believe that Linux is insecure - fuck off. I don't want to use azure, you ass.

Not exactly a dev related rant.

Do you ever get the feeling when you're not working, like today, that you're kinda wasting time (can't find a better way to describe)? I usually work on Sunday at home, running behind insane deadlines, trying to anticipate tasks. Today was different, I woke up to a fresh VS 2017 install, updated my .net core api to 2.0, learnt how to deploy to Azure, made a CI/CD pipeline and then spend some fun time with my 5 month baby. Argued with him when Azure didn't let me make a new subscription. Sat on the sidewalk with him doing absolutely nothing for a solid half hour, only looking the way he admired everything around him and stuff. Took the trash out, did the dishes, helped with the laundry. But yet I feel like tomorrow gonna be a rough day, where everything will blow up 'cause I didn't did anything work related.

I'm starting to think I lost the taste of enjoying myself, enjoying the people around me, my family, parents, friends. I've been spending too much time on autopilot. Wake up, smoke, work, eat, work, smoke, sleep. Repeat.

I do enjoy my job, a little less when it's not dev related, but I do anyway. We are a small company with big contracts and tight deadlines. Always struggling to give our best and advance further, but I can see I'm loosing something while giving 120% of attention to my job.

Anyway, just wanted to get this thing out of my chest. Thank you if you read this far.

Why not to use gitlab:
-Runs on ruby which is VERY VERY VERY wasteful in processing power and thus in energy
-It's hosted on azure

Why to stay with github:
-There won't be a lot of change
-It's reliable and this won't change so fast
-It's like admitting defeat towards MS who want to ruin our lives lol

A legit internship advertisement I came across today:
- mobile app/wearable app/web developer in the field of AI, blockchain, AR, IoT and supply chain management
- multiple years of experience in object oriented programming with java and C#
- good experience with SQL
- experience in Kotlin is a plus
- Good experience with Android Studio, Visual Studio, ASP.NET, Android SDK
- Experience with SAP and Azure
- knowledge of Azure App services and git is a plus
- multiple years of experience in logistics and management

What on earth? This is a bloody internship, mind you.

Ahahahahahaha

Microsoft Azure down on a Friday at home time? Whoever tripped over that cable is probably trying awfully hard to slink out of the building unnoticed right about now

Nope, definitely not going to work for that customer anymore. Fuck this shit. At least for this week.

My background: mid-30 years old, some kind of business & IT consultant / lead dev working for a mid sized CRM consulting company, with approx 15 years of experience in development and software architecture, most of the time "thinking" in C#, still learning new languages, being a cloud evangelist and team lead. We usually have customers with customers (B2B/B2C).
Personality type "campaigner" (ENFP-A).

Today the project lead of my client (a big corporation in the energy industry) told me that he still didn't order all the necessary resources for the cloud project. Just to be clear: He's on the client side. We (the architects, one internal and me) told him one month ago what we need for the beginning. Just a few things - an Azure subscription, a license for the CRM platform, and our dev tools.

And now let's guess when the project is planned to begin? Yeah, right: 1st of April. NO APRIL'S FOOL. And guess what? Next Tuesday we'll do the onboarding for the new (external) devs, and NOTHING will be ready. Yeah, just let us build stuff in our minds, and on the whiteboards, because it's an AGILE project, right? We don't need any systems and tools...

And now he sent me the questionnaires which need to be answered before any cloud service can be ordered by the corporate IT. And yes, he didn't answer a single thing, and just meant "Those are architecture questions" (they are not) and (of course) "please provide the answers until Monday morning, so we can FINALLY order the services."

Yeah, you fucktard. Of course it's MY FAULT now. Maybe I should write an email to your boss asking how we can speed things up a little bit...

So it's 23h30 last night and I've turned on the projector to watch the last episode of Mr Robot.
As I start the episode, I receive an email on my phone telling me that some important Azure webjob is throwing exceptions...
Fuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkk
1 hour later it was fixed, and I watched my episode. Win!

Go DevOps :)

It seems Microsoft have taken my critique of Azure last week to heart. Last week, I insinuated that perhaps hometime on Friday was an inconvenient time of day for major downtime.

This week they've rectified their previous fault, and in their great mercy have decided to take down service at the busiest time of the day on Thursday instead.

GitHub Down, Must be Microsoft migrating to Azure !

Fuck Azure, Fuck Windows, Fuck Microsoft.

Half ass baked products in the market. Half the time there's no documentation. When there's a documentation it is so bad that it makes me feel like biting my teeth so hard that I am left with fucking pieces of incisors. My blood fucking boils whenever I need to deal with "POWER"shell. Fucking weaklings.

Sure Amazon, 0.02$/GB * 0.000120 GB = 0.01$, not 0.0000024$, sure, that's right.

0.05$ for what amounts to less than 2MB of data transfer in total (there's two more lines like that in the bill).
Eat a bag of dicks.

Free tier my ass, if I wanted to spend money I'd rather use Azure.

Long time no rant from me. Sorry guys, has been a tough time for me.

Little background: I'm an apprentice and as such definitely not a fully trained professional. I'm working in a big company with people who have very let's say interesting ideas what I should be able to do.

This whole disaster begins shortly after I started my apprenticeship. I was offered to choose my first little project. "Something from the backlog, not very challenging and a nice beginner one. It's just about a PoC" ok, le me thinks. I choose to make a weather display.
Basic functionality was provided within the next 3 weeks. My direct boss (let's call him Jo) liked it and talked to his boss (Hugo) about it. Hugo was so excited he called our product manager to get my plugin into our software asap and began to think about where else we could use this.
This is where shit went downhill. Hugo told me it was my task to implement it on a totally different platform and to "host it in azure". I don't know much about azure and I never used it. I told him that I'd need time and some kind of sandbox to try and learn how things work. He promised but nothing ever came through. Not even Jo could do something about this.
They told me I should write this asap because "every customer would LOOOOVE this" and I honestly can't think of a way to meet all their requirements without access to our azure system/ sandbox. (There are a lot of requirements)
Am I wrong? Should I be able to do this? I'm a fucking trainee. I don't know everything.

Waiting for Azure to save an update...

So ok here it is, as asked in the comments.

Setting: customer (huge electronics chain) wants a huge migration from custom software to SAP erp, hybris commere for b2b and ... azure cloud
Timeframe: ~10 months….

My colleague and me had the glorious task to make the evaluation result of the B2B approval process (like you can only buy up till € 1000, then someone has to approve) available in the cart view, not just the end of the checkout. Well I though, easy, we have the results, just put them in the cart … hmm :-\
The whole thing is that the the storefront - called accelerator (although it should rather be called decelerator) is a 10-year old (looking) buggy interface, that promises to the customers, that it solves all their problems and just needs some minor customization. Fact is, it’s an abomination, which makes us spend 2 months in every project to „ripp it apart“ and fix/repair/rebuild major functionality (which changes every 6 months because of „updates“.

After a week of reading the scarce (aka non-existing) docs and decompiling and debugging hybris code, we found out (besides dozends of bugs) that this is not going to be easy. The domain model is fucked up - both CartModel and OrderModel extend AbstractOrderModel. Though we only need functionality that is in the AbstractOrderModel, the hybris guys decided (for an unknown reason) to use OrderModel in every single fucking method (about 30 nested calls ….). So what shall we do, we don’t have an order yet, only a cart. Fuck lets fake an order, push it through use the results and dismiss the order … good idea!? BAD IDEA (don’t ask …). So after a week or two we changed our strategy: create duplicate interface for nearly all (spring) services with changed method signatures that override the hybris beans and allow to use CartModels (which is possible, because within the super methods, they actually „cast" it to AbstractOrderModel *facepalm*).
After about 2 months (2 people full time) we have a working „prototype“. It works with the default-sample-accelerator data. Unfortunately the customer wanted to have it’s own dateset in the system (what a shock). Well you guess it … everything collapsed. The way the customer wanted to "have it working“ was just incompatible with the way hybris wants it (yeah yeah SAP, hybris is sooo customizable …). Well we basically had to rewrite everything again.
Just in case your wondering … the requirements were clear in the beginning (stick to the standard! [configuration/functinonality]). Well, then the customer found out that this is shit … and well …

So some months later, next big thing. I was appointed technical sublead (is that a word)/sub pm for the topics‚delivery service‘ (cart, delivery time calculation, u name it) and customerregistration - a reward for my great work with the b2b approval process???

Customer's office: 20+ people, mostly SAP related, a few c# guys, and drumrole .... the main (external) overall superhero ‚im the greates and ur shit‘ architect.
Aberage age 45+, me - the ‚hybris guy’ (he really just called me that all the time), age 32.
He powerpoints his „ tables" and other weird out of this world stuff on the wall, talks and talks. Everyone is in awe (or fear?). Everything he says is just bullshit and I see it in the eyes of the others. Finally the hybris guy interrups him, as he explains the overall architecture (which is just wrong) and points out how it should be (according to my docs which very more up to date. From now on he didn't just "not like" me anymore. (good first day)
I remember the looks of the other guys - they were releaved that someone pointed that out - saved the weeks of useless work ...

Instead of talking the customer's tongue he just spoke gibberish SAP … arg (common in SAP land as I had to learn the hard way).
Outcome of about (useless) 5 meetings later: we are going to blow out data from informatica to sap to azure to datahub to hybris ... hmpf needless to say its fucking super slow.
But who cares, I‘ll get my own rest endpoint that‘ll do all I need.

First try: error 500, 2. try: 20 seconds later, error message in html, content type json, a few days later the c# guy manages to deliver a kinda working still slow service, only the results are wrong, customer blames the hybris team, hmm we r just using their fucking results ...
The sap guys (customer service) just don't seem to be able to activate/configure the OOTB odata service, so I was told)
Several email rounds, meetings later, about 2 months, still no working hybris integration (all my emails with detailed checklists for every participent and deadlines were unanswered/ignored or answered with unrelated stuff). Customer pissed at us (god knows why, I tried, I really did!). So I decide to fly up there to handle it all by myself

gitlab has some storage issues.
seems that East US 2 server in Azure is down
damn

"Expenses Graph of That Time I Tried Running Kubernetes On A Cloud Service" -2019, artist unknown (colorized)

If you look closely, you can get an impression of the moment of "screw this, I'll look at it some other time".

Me setting up my first azure devops pipeline

AWS, Azure, Google Cloud or Digital Ocean?
Your views.

P.S: I'm noob.

Microsoft is going to offer it's own Linux distribution i.e. Azure sphere to secure microprocessor based gadgets.

Isn't Windows capable of doing it? 😜

Was delaying learning a course for quite a long time (felt boring). The finally got the stuff by reading the documentations !

Tell me I am not the only one who thinks reading documentations is way better than taking course (in case of proper documentation ofcourse)

Gsuite support sucks so bad, if you can, please stay far away from it or use it for simple stuff like authentication, if you get stuck you won't get help.

First I asked them:

What is the URL to authenticate Gsuite users using curl?

They said they don't know and it's outside the scope of support, and they told me to go to stackoverflow, I was lucky to only one user who knew the answer.

Then today, I asked them how to increase the access token expiry date since it's 1h, not enough if you are doing admin directory sdk integration (letting your users manage groups)

That my friends is not coding, there should be a setting for that, but again, outside the scope of support, ask on stackoverflow.

Regardless if Stackoverflow can answer or not, it's not their job, I'm a paid Gsuite user.

On the other hand, my company host on Azure, I know server administration, but if we face a server problem that will take me more than 5 minutes to solve, or if we need to patch something, I call the boss telling him to contact Azure and ask them to solve it.

We paid Azure for support so they do support, if they can't provide support then we would migrate to some cheap server on lowendbox.com

A user pays for support and only for support, and that's the least to expect from a big company.

Shame on Google. A company with a billion programmer and stupid support team that can't even forward technical email to some programmer to solve it.

Google doesn't need to hire new CEO to improve cloud services, they could start by hiring better support...

What is happening?

Hello NDC! Three days of conference, learning stuff, coffee, motivation, meeting people, coffee, good food, coffee!

I love NDC (Norwegian Developer Conference), it's my ninth time. I just watched Jon Skeet talk about C#8, up next is some Azure stuff. Anybody else here?

I no longer work for a startup company. On Monday I’ll start work for a real company, one that values project managers and their infrastructure. As a DevOps engineer, I value the IT resources that power my old companies SaaS platform. My old position is not being back filled and they’re hiring a full time dev instead of and Ops engineer. They have chosen to proceed with zero employees who know Azure or the platform their own software runs on.

Word to the wise when choosing to work for a startup. Ask these questions:

- Do they have a dedicated product manager/owner , who isn’t also the CFO?

- Do they value infrastructure and their IT resources ?

- Do they have decent powered laptops to work with?

- Do they have too much technical debt because they’re always building new features ?

- Do they work 18 hour days because they set poor work/life boundaries ?

- Who handles Support tickets , and what’s a typical support issue like?

- Do they have a branching and merging strategy? Don’t accept “we’re too small” as an answer! It’s a trap that they don’t want one.

Heya devRant people, I haven't been here for a while so I think I may have lost the touch with my rants. But no matter.

Ok, here I go.....

FUCK NUGET AND FUCK VISUAL STUDIO, THE FACT THAT IT KEEPS REDIRECTING A REFERENCE TO THE FUCKING AZURE SDK IS PISSING ME OFF. EVEN MORE SO THAT WHEN I RENAME THE FUCKING .DLL ON THE AZURE SDK SO IT DOESN'T REFERENCE IT, IT JUST DOeS NOT FUCKING RECOGNIZE ANY FUCKING .DLL I POINT IT TO, EVEN IF THE PATH IS CORRECT.

FIX YOUR SHIT MICROSOFT.

(Sorry for caps, I'm just really frustrated.)

Microsoft and their dev tools...

> Trying to login to Azure VM
> Get an error, saying that password needs to be changed before logging in the first time
> Head over to Azure portal, try resetting password
> Password reset is not successful. Reason: Account already exists (???)
> Google the error message. Found solution (coming from a Microsoft employee!): Create a new user, login with that, fix the password for user #1 inside the VM, then delete the new user

What's wrong with these people? 😂

Found a dumb mistake I made in a query in my project.
Reduced page load from 10 sec to < 1 sec with an hour's restructuring.
Had just assumed it was slow because of my super cheap Azure DB subscription... 🙄

Fun fact: Many cloud provider will provide you free credits if you register without adding a payment method or using their services and wait for one or two days.

There is nothing quite so arousing, than getting your own VPS and hosting your applications*

*Not including boobs.

Open droid edit, ignore big ads at the bottom.

Open file, make small changes.

Save as.

Open andftp

Login to azure web app

Navigate to wwroot

Switch to device files

Go to .deployment folder

Select file

Upload.

Is it efficient? Fuck no.

Notepad++ style editing on the go? Fuck yes

Steps for making something that works become shitty, gmail and Microsoft edition:

1. Enforce non standards compliant authentication methods because you know client developers will have to bend to your will because you're fucking google
2. Let Microsoft develop a ldap wrapper with web authentication to load when you try to log in with a client.
3. As per usual, the Microsoft azure Authenticator crashes thunderbird immediately. Not even sure how they managed to do that
4. And we have suck.

I won't be surprised if MS adds a "one click deploy" button in GitHub projects to Azure cloud soon, which sounds pretty cool.

#Azure #Swag

Aws Lambda and serverless framework. Yes FaaS is cool. Love it. But it is pain in ass when you have the only way for you deploy is zip the fucking code with all the dependencies. Comm'on AWS you can do better. Look at azure functions. Please give me a git deployment support. Please I beg. Each test iteration takes like for ever. Also no proper local emulator. Fuck you AWS. Fuck you serverless.

Well Done Azure...

The only thing I liked about windows after windows xp

Noticed another fellow dev vapes. Cool.

"I got Sparkling Grape, what flavour do you got?"

"Its...Azure Cloud...haha"

Haha ... still didn't tell me the flavour though...

A client's representative (was an operations manager maybe; non technical guy) was explaining his legacy project (a knowledge transfer session), mentioned about using Azure for their new system.
One of the senior .net developer in the room interrupts this guy and asks "can you explain what do you mean by azure?"
I was like "what the fuck! did I hear it wrong"

I get some error when deleting an azure service so I put a support ticket asking for help. Just as I am about to close my computer for the day I receive an email saying:

"Product team will disable the account xxxxx from backend".

The xxxxx is our subscription number. The subscription that hosts not only that service but also production servers and databases, storage accounts containing backups, etc.

I replied to the email so hopefully disaster is avoided otherwise tomorrow wont be a happy day.

Azure , AWS or Google Cloud ?!

What cloud service does DevRant use?

Aws Or Azure?
And how much do you pay a month for maintenance costs?

What tables to store data? MongoDB, dynamoDB, oracle?
Or S3 streams?

Just wondering.

So...Microsoft is releasing a Linux based IoT OS. What does devRant community has to say about it?

So I wanted to try MS translator API for one of my projects:
1) Registered MS account
2) Registered azure account (why the fuck you just can’t use data from my MS acc...)
3) Finally opened azure platform
4) what the fuck
5) ok, lets search translator api
6) no results
7) after 20mins, finally found it
8) click ‘create’
9) nothing is happening
10) *trying to selfcontrol myself from punching the screen*
11) google: how to delete azure account

I mean, who the fuck designed this fucking piece of horse shit, how hard you must get your fucking head hit to create such a horrible UX...

Call with Customer for an upcoming software project (tone interpreted through rage)

them: "yeah we want to launch by end of march but our sales people would like to have a demo version asap, incl. structure of the forums and yaddayadda"

me: "earliest at end of feb"
them: "why do you need so long bro?"

me saying: "chill, we'll send you screenshots"

me (not saying): "because you ordered an azure based Active Directory as loginprovider at another company and our own white lable software needs to integrate that and we've never spoke about a demo version you mofos?"
me (also not saying): "and yet another partner that is working on the hardware component still hasn't logged into the API I crafted because he didn't knew how to send parameters to a REST API?"

Azure Sphere, Microsoft new OS but get this, With a Custom Linux Kernel 😍

Dear Microsoft power bi team.
Go fuck yourself. Put that dashboard up your ass. The documentation for this is a joke.

The doc says I can get my tokens from azure portal. But guess what. The portal is a sea. And seems like powerbi is moved out from portal to its own powerbi.fuckyoumicrosoft.com

What the actual fuck you dimwits. Why don't you document it properly ?
For fuck sake. Go show up your analytics deep into your pie chart.

I'm in the first semester at my third college, working on my B.S. degree. I get a job in the finance and operations IT department doing web development. I get to use lots of tech I've never used before, like Python Flask, Docker, Redis, Azure, Slack, Microsoft VSTS, Portainer, MongoDB, Oracle database (weeeeeeeeeeee), and who knows what else awaits me. It took a week to get me access permissions to various systems but that's fine. I expected that.

* It's the first time I've ever touched Docker. I manage to break it so badly (somehow) that I BSOD my Win10 machine. Everyone in the office congratulates me on such a feat.
* I get assigned to an internal app management site to not only patch because it's currently broken but also improve. Coming from a PHP background, I've seen some nasty code. What I didn't expect was the same exact same anti-patterns and coding "practices" (examples: everything in a single file, all forms on a page POSTing back to itself for submission, sloppy, mostly uncommented, densely packed code) in a Python Flask project. I was told it was thrown together quickly by a previous employee who made this as his first Flask app, but this was not what I envisioned.

It's as if everything I do in my career is to prepare me to untangle the next monster code base I come across. I feel like the universe is mocking me.

That's cool. Bring it on. I'm ready. I'm enjoying this job anyway. 😎

What’s your opinions on AWS, Azure, and whatever googles version is called. I’m curious and I’m asking because I don’t really know a lot of details. I just know they host stuff and make some stuff easier.

Can't create a new SQL database on Azure on on one subscription as every region is unavailable. Everything works on my other subscription.

Fucking hell.

That wonderful moment when you explain a bunch of different technologies to a customer (thinking they'll work with you to choose one from the lot), and they go off, only to come back having cooked up some scheme in which they want you to have them all working together seamlessly.

Today I investigated how one could build a Windows 10 VM.
We have an Azure subscription in our company (which is expensive enough), which gives me access to their new interface where it looked like I could build a Windows 10 VM. I was so happy that MS actually made this feature for developers, until I got redirected to the MSDN front-page telling me that you would need ANOTHER FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION to do that. This is fucked up. You pay for access to Office 365, then you pay for Azure and THEN you pay for MSDN just to pay for another Windows 10 license so you can test a simple Azure feature on Windows 10. How about nope.

In the end it's all about the money, sexy wife and a big house, doesn't matter you're on LAMP or MEAN, azure or aws.. Focus one and master it till you're rare in your area. My advise to freshman developer as a developer who believed he will be a mediocre developer forever.

Has anyone had any experience in using Microsoft Azure for website hosting infrastructure? Would you recommend it?

- Implemented oauth1 - no body hashing
- URL contains credentials in plain text
- Used Azure API management feature as a proxy of the our API, however the documentation was on the our API, thus exposing the API URL with no management to developers.
- easy resource DDoSing because each trial user got a DB, the registration process did not have bot checks. You could literally freeze the db instance by spamming registration requests.

Prediction: One of the things Microsoft will do to GitHub is to remove gh-pages and make sure you can host stuff on azure, since gh-pages only supports html files, so with azure, you can host a server-sided app.

Mfw on azure/iot conference, one presenter shows his certificate validation, to connect to all devices in his house:

return true;

He said:
"lets not be paranoid about security"

Accidentally cleared user accounts table that connects mobile apl accounts with main system accounts. Almost had a heart attack​ but luckily Azure had point in time restore 😌

Updated my Azure aide project to ASP .NET Core 2.0.
Works perfectly in develop in Debug and Release.
Deploy to Azure.
502.5
No error logs, no feedback, no explanation.

K den.

iot+Android+Azure+mySQL+GoogleAPI+TwitterAPI

Oh, Only 1 bug. exterminate.

99 bugs.
Inserted 100 rows of wrong data into tables in a Loop.
RaspberryPi Burnt due to electrical feedback from the sensors.
Android phone froze.

Wow. I still have my sensors fine though.

Windows containers with Kubernetes on AWS and Azure are thing now.

What does that mean? Is it now possible to containerize system critical windows 3.1 legacy software from the 90ties (like the ticketing software at Airport Paris Orly) and orchestrate it in the cloud?

Do you know any use cases for Microsoft Windows in the cloud?

I promised to blow off unit tests, so here we go. Let’s talk about unit tests.

Why use them? So, unit testing connoisseurs outline two big purposes:
1. To keep application integrity,
2. To catch bugs.

Keeping app integrity is when your freshly hired developer implement something that potentially leads to the whole app failure, but unit test fails and tell you that newly added code is breaking the app.

Catching bugs is pretty much self explanatory. Just think about it – you have to actually write code that describes how to check up another code to catch bugs in it.

I personally hate unit tests. I can’t explain, but every time I forced myself to write them, I got vertigo and terrible headache to the end of the day. Trying to write some tests? Here you go, wooosh and you can’t work anymore. Go get some sleep if you can.

But I still needed my job to be done and it should have been done really well. So I started my research.

Recalling Steve McConnell’s and many other classy developers’ experience, there is only one decent solution that prevents bugs and inconsistencies at large scale – the specs. Developing the specs should be considered the task number one. With decent, robust specs, app is almost guaranteed to contain no bugs.

Let’s take a look at the piece of great spec. For example, imagine you have to implement validation logic. So you state that validation should be implemented with special validation functions and then you define what validation function is: a pure function that accepts a value and returns boolean: true if value is good, false otherwise.

With that in mind, it’s obvious that potentially present bugs can only be inside that pure functions. Our spec made implementing validation very easy and idiomatic, isolating potential bugs. As soon as validators are pure and simple, unit tests aren’t needed at all.

You know what? As your app scales, you’ll definitely need a spec, sooner or later. Growing up without spec leads to irreversible failure, your app will grow like cancerous cell does and it’ll be easier to just put it into trash and start up from scratch.

But specs have one major downside – it requires at least one enlightened developer with really great experience to create it. It can’t be done quickly, it’s a very costly and difficult process. That’s why making great software costs that much.

But what if you need an MVP right now?

Speaking of MVPs, you’ll have to go with simplest instruments possible. Throw away Jenkins, use your Plesk autodeploy from Git repo. Throw away complex frontend setups, go with $30-$40 glittery ui kit or even an open source thing right from CDN, without less, sass, gulp and all that jazz. Make use of create-react-app if you can’t avoid using React because you’re making a web application.

Throw away AWS, Azure, Docker, Kubernetes and everything like that. Buy a cheap PHP7 hosting with pre-installed MySQL and do everything as simple as possible. If you have to use NoSQL, go with free Heroku with git autodeploy, NodeJS Express and free Mongo addon.

MVP should be ready in two weeks. As soon as your infrastructure is that simple, you don’t need unit tests. They’ll slow you down. Once you MVP is ready, go get funding, throw away first MVP, hire a decent CTO and let him create the spec.

Right there, it may be noticeable that unit tests are probably the biggest and baddest workaround imaginable. It gives you false sense of controlling your bugs, while you don’t have any control at all. Obvious bugs that unit tests can catch are easily noticeable at concise system, while quirky bugs couldn’t be caught by them because you can’t even imagine them while writing your unit tests. At this point, unit tests are just waste of time.

So, the whole picture is clear: at a small scale, you don’t have time to write unit tests and don’t have many bugs because of simple tools and standard patterns. At large scale, you need a spec to prevent bugs, unit tests become redundant as long as your spec is good.

In conclusion, I can tell that I’ve been developing a Clojurescript + CouchDB app for some startup, and in 8 month coding by spec I made myself I encountered only two or three bugs, all related to external JS tools and its quirks.

Have a good time!

I made a web project that can generate gifs from webcam. Can't complete it because I don't understand how to use SSL with Azure ☹️

Aws or azure or Google cloud for big data stuff?

That awkward feel when I ran into an issue on one of Azures SDKs and find the pull request is open and not merged for a few months...

The even better feeling when I realise that particular product SME is _literally_ in the room behind me.

Chocolate is an alternative form if bribery right?

We're switching to Azure

Deployed first time on Azure and it really hard to deploy lots of changes/setting need to done before publishing website.

What are your favorite emoticons for working on automated cloud deployments or new open source integrations?

Damit azure, few days ago I have to launch a server but azure didn't let me set up a credit card because I was on free tier period, but also tell that I'm not eligible for free tier, so, WTF??

I'd came back to AWS and some minutes later I get my fcking ec2 instance running without any problem.

Fcking Microsoft.

So the international shipment I was waiting for and was really excited were not the devrant stickers and was this useless and huge azure poster. I am crying. I was really looking forward to those stickers. What am I even supposed to do with this poster? Also I just realized I did not recieve any confirmation from devrant that I was receiving those stickers so that means I am not getting them. Why god why? @dfox please help me.

So I made a car configurator for a big car manufacturer.

it's working awesome on all devices except motherfucking chrome on ios.

The canvas does not resize completely after device rotation . and I can't even remote debug the shit.

So right now at 12 AM, alone in the office and deploying vorlonjs on Azure to remote debug the shit out of it.

Let's hope I can fix it.

What keeps me from loosing my sanity every day? A mentor who taught me the value of "nuke and pave" automation. Just nuked the entire Azure resource group, including virtual networks, subnets, virtual machines, vpn connections, the whole nine yards. Redeploy takes about 5 minutes.

Things nobody's supposed to do.

Fuck Azure
Tried to login to my Test Environment for B2C, was asked for SMS AuthCode because of "suspicious activities" (haven't used it in weeks), gave this crap tool my number and pressed send code - no reaction, gave it the same number without a 0 in front, no reaction, pressed "didn't recevieved code" and got "you can't try again today, try it tomorrow" ... 30 minutes later two auth code sms arrived.

Fuck you Microsoft, just fucking fuck you

I’m gonna lose my shit if Azure keep changing their shit one more time fucking pain in the ass

Looking to sharpen and pursue a SysAdmin/DevOps career, looking at online job offers to get the big picture of required skills and I say FUCK. It would take me a lifetime.
Azure, AWS, Google cloud platform.
CD tools: Ansible, Chef or Puppet
Scripting ninja with Python/Node and Shell/Power shell.
Linux & Windows administration
Mongo, MySQL and their relatives.
Networking, troubleshooting failure in disturbed systems
Familiarity with different stacks. Fuck. (Apache, nginx, etc..)
Monitoring infrastructure ( nagios, datadog .. )
CI tools: jenkins, maven, etc..
DB versioning: liquibase, flyway etc.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Are they looking for Voltron? FUCK YOU FROM THE DEEPEST LEVEL OF MY DEEP FUCK.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. We brought on a vendor to provide us some fancy OCR tool. It barely works. It's been barely working. And the vendor is so adamant it works it's so difficult to get them to send people onsight to work with us. We complained about it to the exec and we got "Oh they're a tech startup. You have to help them along with developing their process blah blah blah". Well they don't want help we offered they keep existing their shit is top secret (and it works). When they make changes remotely it's like they blindly make a change and then throw it to us to test. When we can get them to come in they hang around till the problem is fixed (more than once we've had to tell them how to fix it.) and they fly as fast as they fucking can through the door. A guy on my team even built something similar backed by Azure but we were given directive to work with them. And now we're getting pressure about delays in launch. But it's not our fault. The vendors asshole lying CEO keeps making shit up and we're told to work with it. Yet it's our fault that we missed deadlines? fuck this place !!! fuck all of this !!!

On an average, how many times a day does a dev think about offing themselves while working with azure cloud?

Is it doable to install macOS on a hypervisor on aws/google/azure and use it via VNC screensharing?

Did anyone notice azure seems to be down now.. Sometimes I do wonder should I create a twitter account just to swear at MS...

Microsoft is buying GitHub?

Actually, that sounds great. A lot of people here are making it sound like this is the end of the world as we know it, but how do we know that they will make it awful? The Microsoft of today is different than the Microsoft of 2007. The purchase is simply a way to expand their enterprise offerings. I have experimented with Office365, and it is actually really useful. GitHub will be a way to expand that offering to software development companies.

Who knows? We may even get some kind of Azure CI service built directly into GitHub repos?

However, I see why some people are concerned. If they want to move to GitLab, I don't actually blame them a bit. I was already using it before it was cool!

The point of this rant is that we should give Microsoft a chance, and not jump ship right away.

Ayoooo, fuck you telstra you cock mongering assholes. What the fuck do we pay you for.

Seriously, a 20s DNS lookup time for azure services -.-

Life is to take decisions. Which u prefer
Google vs Shodan vs 🦆 🦆 go
Angular vs vue vs react vs other
Gnome vs unity vs KDE
Atom vs vscode vs sublime or other
iOS vs android vs other
Natives bs ionic vs react native vs xamarin vs flutter
Gmail iCloud or outlook or proton mail
Camel, pascal ,snake case
C# or Java or python
Sql or not sql
Debian , fedora ,linux mint or kali
Server side rendering or client side
Aws vs gcloud vs Azure vs ibm cloud
Firefox vs chrome vs safari
Free without privacy or ads or paid without ads or privacy
Nintendo vs pc vs ps4 or xbox
WhatsApp or telegram or other
Sleep at night or not

Coment your favorite

Ok so my thoughts on M$ officially buying github:

Honestly idk, it’s really up to them. I hope they think it really independent because otherwise they could abuse of the power they have over devs. So no added bonuses or free Azure if you develop for uwp or that kind of shit.

But it could also help GH get even better and include more the devs and all that stuff.

Lately, M$ has been becoming a little less evil and maybe they have a little of good will. What I think we need is a motto and clear guidelines for the development of gh. A community focused openness about development.

Anyway, I’m super tired and I should be sleeping, but I’m a dev and I don’t care.

Has anyone used Azure Machine Learning Studio? It can be so amusing. A friend's script wouldn't run once because of an error she encountered.
The error message read "No Error".

Hey ya'll, I was wondering if you could give me a career advice. I'm a front end dev with about 3 yrs of experience, and would like to do more cloud architecture/devops. How would I go about it, considering that I've only used aws, gcp, and azure for my hobby/side projects? Should i get certified? Who would hire me?

I'd really appreciate any advice/tip!

Is it just me or is the free Azure VM absolutely slow AF?

For those of you .Net people out there (".Net sucks" Stallman fellators need not apply), what would a few practice .net core web apis and MVC projects cost to host on Azure? They wouldn't be touched except by me and any people who want to see my portfolio projects directly, so I think that doesn't count as time for cost, but I'll be honest and say I don't entirely get their pricing.

Before my vacation I’d been chatting with one of our dbas about an etl tool we needed for a customer we’d already signed all the contracts with saying we would provide one for a historical database of old data. They had been looking at one from SAP but in typical fashion a license was worth more than the actual contract.

Anyway long story short on the weekend before I went back to work I rattled together a little python proof of concept using a couple of azure databases and when I went back demo’d it to the pm and dba they loved it and we built on the poc to have a working loader which saved us about £30k by not buying the SAP product and just wrote our own.

I'm about to release my first .net core API solution (that relies on multiple separate projects under the solution if that matters) with an SQL database. I've never released anything before and could use some advice.

I want to use a cloud solution like aws or azure - any guidance please? I'm trying to find as decent a solution as possible for free, or next to free, as right now it's just a first stage release with next to no features.

Thanks

PS it also uses Hangfire. I really don't know enough to know if that's a factor.

That sad moment ! :/

Fuck you azure and your goddamn swagger support. If you say that you support OAS than at least support the specification.

With the advent of everything being a service (read AWS, GCP, Azure) do you think it's time for our education curriculum to incorporate these services at a an earlier stage (say undergrad) since in the industry, this is kind of enough to make a decent living (speaking more from a devops perspective, programmers are still needed I feel)??

oh jeez! Time to go home... 🤦‍♀️

Why do companies spend the premium of Amazon EC2 and Azure Cloud when there are cheaper and probably better performing providers out there. I.e DigitalOcean or Vultr

I was watching over 9h of Windows and Azure Tutorials over the last few days, and now I don't feel very well. Guess I caught a Virus.

I finally attempted php, I wrote a bunch of scripts to fetch data... I feel like I have betrayed myself 😞😞😞
I should have just absorbed the cost of azure 😭😭😭 now am a php dev.... The things I'm about to do, the horrors I'm about to put out into the world.... Pulling your hair out will be the least of your worries, dear maintainer forgive us all, always and forever. 😳

I'm thinking I should learn a ML framework/platform (Tensorflow, Azure, ???).

Which should I choose? The only thing I can think of doing with it tho is to build a tic-tac-toe or maybe a gomoku AI...

!help

Does anyone know how to use certbot on a Debian stretch azure web service app to generate an SSL cert?

I've got the cert generated and Apache to serve it but it's giving me errors.

I need to bind it in azure somehow but I can't figure out how to export the cert.

Azure, great development slots! Must have, now I can have developer, staging and production. The greatest no downtime when swapping a new server in....

Everything crashes? WTF?

OKAY, so swapping to a service that authenticates users makes the authentication part crash :/

Phew development slots ROLL BACK...

No the entire service was broken. Rolling back, all non authenticating controllers work, but the authentication never happens, so server is working, but the users cant use it. Fuck!

Delete everything. Recreate. The setting persists. WTF. Delete again, recreate, reinitialize, republish, it works as it should when tested phew.

Creating new service experiencing cant replicate. Hmm, okay must have been a glitch. Next, update, YEAH swap, no downtime!!!

*EXPLOSION* ..... RINSE AND REPEAT:/

Anyone out there ever had to deal with WordPress in Azure? Do you have any horror stories to share? I’m working on convincing a potential BIG client to switch away from Azure and need some good examples of why it’s not as suitable for large-scale hosting and management of multiple WordPress installs as other solutions available.

Microsoft azure news and other APIs, horrible but works fine.

isARant()==idk;
I'm a linux fan (not fanboy) and I just discovered I can have a Microsoft Imagine account from my school and I don't fucking know if I want to use windows to learn Azure and .NET
I quite hate Microsoft for their privacy policies and their recent approach to windows
But it would be a shame not to learn that stuff
Any advice?
Fuck (to make it more ranty)

Spent all yesterday PM and this AM trying to string together the right azure resources to make a VM load a website after it created me multiple redundant resources. But it works!

Ranting becomes old when your company uses Microsoft ADs for everything!

We're doing single login with Azure AD for a Java-based site. We need to also sync the user changes with a microservice.

Now, here comes the fun part: Microsoft is working on a new API which looks promising, which they recommend to use as they've migrated their resources there. But this new API has SDK for a ton of languages but Java, so that's a no-no. On the other side, the js sdk for the old API is borderline unusable and has no deltas (which we need to sync users), although the new one is pretty good.

As a cherry on the cake, applications created with the old API are not transferrable to the new one, but it is otherwise. This is detailed in a very small section of their labrythinc docs and I'm really hoping that this is true or we're thoroughly screwed.

Alas, Microsoft, you've disappointed me again!

3 weeks into getting dragged into another MS-stack project, I have already been repeatedly reminded why I decided to invest so much energy in moving my career as far away from Microsoft dependency as possible. Even something as simple as reviewing settings on Azure App Service is a hit-or-miss affair, being completely unavailable for hours at a time at least once a week. Azure Functions are consistently unavailable for at least a few minutes every day. Don't even get me started on "Azure DevOps".

Why the fuck do people still place their trust (and critical infrastructure) in the hands of Microsoft?

Composer.json require sendgrid

Composer adds wrong directions to file, fine I'll hard code it.

Composer is deriving file path.

Fine I'll edit 4 files.

Composer is escaping hard path

Change global variables

Composer is still adding its own directory before hard path.

Follow azure and sendgrid documentation to the letter, composer puts wrong way round slashes in file path.

Gives up on 57th server 500 error

Sometimes azure gets me down in its implementation of things....

Thank you Microsoft VSTS/Azure for giving everyone a snow day in September.

I hate azure. Why the fuck in this Holly world there is no BC solution by aws?

So Microsoft and github...

You can always host gitlab youreself if you är concerned about someone else running the service. I did some years ago. But the question is why not use the free services? I'll stay using github or gitlab as long as it's free... I use VSTS att work and have no problem using Microsoft products as long as they do what they är suposed to...

But if youre reely upset. The community edition of gitlab is free so you can host youre own instance in youre basement or in a cloud... AWS, GCP, Azure... Then you own the data.

When the documentation suggests you use composer to install swiftmailer so I can use sendgrid.

Even though I can install composer as an extension and sendgrid is integrated within the portal it's down to me to work out the azure cli or is it a powershell cli or is it bash?

Echo gives kudu error, oh well if there's kudu why am I using composer?

Grrr azure you don't make it easy.

People making features that has not been asked for and not going to be used, just in case we need it in future.

In this case making a new message queue for deleted audio and putting messages on said queue for every time we delete audio. Not enough with we don't have any uses for it. We also have to pay money for these messages in azure.

Build stuff when you need it. Not when you think you might need it...

Which Cloud provider (AWS, Azure, Google,...) do you work with and why?

I just found out VSTS has dark mode option. Thank you, MSFT, for caring about all the dark souls out there.

Respect["Microsoft"]++

They have added dark mode in windows/ Azure/ edge/documentation pages/ Visual Studio/VS Code. _/\_

Came into work this week after the holidays and was an email from azure saying unless we redeploy our virtual machines before next week they will do it at midnight utc - which happens to be mid-day here.

No problem I just email our client and schedule a time Friday afternoon where the servers will be unavailable and I'll do it then.

Today (Thursday) azure email and say they are going to just reboot our servers now. I check and the application is not working. Clients start phoning in saying they cant access the system..

Azure is down! But on the bright side their status page is quite nice. AWS could learn a thing or two there!

it's going to be a 'headphones on and don't disturb me' kinda day, fucking bugs and not stable apis and a lot of stories to finish...

How did you get the people from Info Security and Compliance on board this continuous delivery thing ?

I am being asked to run antivirus scans on my own code and binaries as part of build.

Is this common practice? Am I missing something?

I am going to deploy stuff on Azure PaaS. I can understand having malware scan agent on azure VMs scanning the infra, but this?

Why does the documentation in the website for API doesn't include the optional parameters to use?

Why are you making my life harder!

Good thing their github.io docs has the documentation for the parameters I needed.

So, why not include it in the official documentation?!

I’ve trying to find out why VM restart is causing the service bus queue messages to get stuck and my dearly beloved manager is doing nothing but undermining my work that I haven’t found it already. It’s only been a day I started looking into this. Fucking shit.

Fuck the long process to make a new Microsoft Azure account. It needs both a verified email and a verified phone number, and (especially) doesn't accept a Google Voice number, which is the main number I actually use for everything. And of course, this is after doing the exact same process to make a new Microsoft account.

That moment when you explain to your manager what the term "full-stack" means and next thing you know you've gone from being a "backend c#" to azure migration expert/dba/designer/api architect/network engineer/php wordpress developer... let's go back to when you'd never heard of full-stack

What's the best service for managing large amounts of session data in Azure - servers are going behind a load balancer this week and we have too many options for storing session state

Fucking Azure cloud, free account won't let me create a Linux VM.

How can I evaluation if I can't create a VM?!?

Ok, got it microsoft, I'll not use the azure portal, you can keep not implementing it....

Has anyone successfully unsubscribed from Microsoft Azure emails?

Aws lambda or azure functions??? Which one to choose

Does anyone use Amazon Web Services? Do you have an suggestions regarding where to start when coming from the .NET and Azure side of things?

2nd week at my first job after I got my papers and what am I doing?

Background:
I followed a course of three years where all we learnt was web development with php and javascript. I of course wanted more and spend hours after school learning as much as a could without any help from others.

About the course:
We learn to tinker with code (php, javascript).
There was never a mention of design patterns.
We never got to know about TDD (test driven development).

Now:
Got the papers, found a job as a c# junior development and am currently working on a C# .NET web app using azure cloud and high standards using unit tests to provide a product for the awesome company I work at which should generate a stable income.

Tldr;
Hard work pays off.

What the hell am I!? I wonder if you guys can help me...

I've been programming most of my life but I've never actually been a developer by title or job role. I thought maybe if I list what I do and have done someone here could help? I'm sure there are more of you in a similar boat.

- C# and VB dev for some quick DBMS projects to help me understand and mine databases and create a nice simple view for project teams to show findings from the data to help make certain decisions.
- Automating a lot of my colleagues work with Python and if very restricted then just VBA macros in Excel and MSP. This did also include creating tools to gather data during workshops and converting the data for input into other systems.
- Brought Linux to the office with most team members now moving over to Linux with the peace of mind to know that though they do need to try solve their own problems, I can help if need be.
- Had to learn AWS and then implement an autoscaling and load balanced data center installation of a few Atlassian toolsets.
- Creating the architecture diagrams documentation needed for things like the above point.
- Having said that, also have ended up setting up all the Jira/Confluence etc. servers we use and have implemented so far whether cloud (Azure/AWS) or on prem and set up scripts to automate where possible.
- Implemented an automated workflow view in SharePoint based on SP list data and though in an ASPX page, primarily built in JS.
- Building test systems in PHP/JS with Laravel and Angular to help manage integration between systems. Having quite a time right looking into how to build middleware to connect between SOAP and REST API's, the trouble caused more by the systems and their reliance on frameworks we're trying to cut out of the picture.
- Working on BI and MI and training a team to help on the report creation so that I can do the fun creative stuff and then set them to work on the detail :)

Actually it seems safe to say that it seems that though I've finally moved into a dev office (beforehand being the only developer around) I seem to be the one they go to when a strategic solution is needed ASAP and the normal processes can't be followed (fun for someone with a CompSci degree and a number of project management courses under the belt... though I honestly do enjoy the challenges)

But I always end up Jack of all but master of, well hopefully some at least. let's not even get started on the tech related hobbies from circuit design and IoT to Andoid / iOS and game dev and enjoying a bit of pen testing to make sure we're all safe at work and at home.

As much as I don't like boxes, I'm interested to know if there is in fact a box for me? By the way, the above is just a snapshot of my last two years minus the project management work...

!rant

*reworks complete solution then publishes it to Azure*
"Okay, now let's debug"

*calls function, no response*
*directly opens function in browser*
Function host is not running.

Fuck.

*opens Insights*
System.BadImageFormatException
(additionally, it states that it couldnt load my main project or one of it's dependencies)

Shit, never even heard of that exception.

DDG: yo you're fucked, here, have 3 proper results
SO: lul thats some known bug Azure Functions havent fixed till now
Github: Yeah got a lot of open issues ok that, they just aint any help lmao

Me, a naive person: "okay lets try randomly changing some dependency versions, might help"

It didn't.

Now my question: how do I escape Dependency Hell?

I'm all for the awesome stuff Microsoft is doing on the Azure stack, but it's laughable how their subscription management system on their portal is more complicated than spawning Kubernetes clusters and load balancers via terminal.

I mean c'mon!!!

I just like bulding silly things, my ideal devjob would be one where I could just make random junk that makes me smile all day...

Like recently I made an NoSQL database using azure AD. They give you 50000 AD objects free, but I found you could encode all sorts of data in the AD objects variables. So basically I setup a framework that uses Security groups as Collections, AD objects as Documents, and object variables as key pairs.

It's really slow, like roughly 50 queries a minute, but hey. It was fun proving it could be done...

Yeah, that would be my ideal devjob :P that kind of stuff all day

I joined in 2011 when there were 3% architects/technologists. Even those were PMP certified.
Now we have 80% archs/techs/coders/devops/cyber, with aws/azure/java/db/cyber certs and no PMP.

Even now managers go off-site for a week to some exotic location and come back to present the architecture.

Building a Web dashboard. Stats a day tiles etc.

Boss wants to write sql stored procedures to populate tiles.

Azure dB returns tile list, that maps to angular directive names, use nested angular directive that auto compiles a directive by name, then that directives controller calls a sql query which returns the name of the query to call to receive data, formats the data into charts or lists, builds the tile, places it into a gridster tile array and redirects to new tile pages by UI router state names.

I... I think I have gone too far. What have I done.

Any one thoughts/opinions about Azure Service Bus? I'm using it a few months now in combination with a redis cache, cloud storage and the service bus.. works pretty nice so far..

I'm pretty impressed about the upgrade mechanism..

Anybody here use Azure VPN connections and have some time to answer questions about our implementation? I'm looking to ensure we have isolation between parts of the VPN links.

The prerequisites for the MSIngnite 2016 pre-conf session 'Visual Studio and Xamarin' were grossly not complete. Many individual's Visual Studio required the Xamarin/Android/IOS specific updates, no one could open/build the session projects, slow wifi, expectation of Azure account (most didn't). Good content (Andrew and Peirce were great), but a waste of my time.

Any other MSIgniters? Rant on!

Use a product that is not the greatest, but does its job fairly well in the human capital management market. Anyhow this POS can't communicate very well with Azure extended end points via rest. FML. Now I'm building workarounds and I know this bs is gonna bite me in the ass.

Anyone knows wtf has happend with Azure DocumentDB??? Someone renamed it to CosmosDB or what?

People not using FaaS (like aws lambda or azure functions ) to build chat bots (facebook, slack) but using express based (or any webserver based) application deserves a place in hell.
Can't think why would you use expressJS based app for chat bot. Especially with event emitter shit. At least for Lucifers sake document which event triggers what. Please.