My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

Do you want fries with that?

I started a coffee company already. ☕️

https://nerdroast.com

Microsoft tech summit... Doesn't need a comment

Be kind always.

Finally implemented my first ANN in my own environment (my own Virus Game). That feeling when have tested everything and it works, so you can just relax and put your feet up and. <3

When someone uses a *switch* statement with only 2 cases

Such boss
much micromanage
many issue
such ignore

Finally it's a Sunday.....
No more coding.

Just been writing my project report, because I'm a student and reports are necessary -_-. To use to working in visual studio and just ended a sentence with;

It's funny because it's !false 😂😂😂

Well...

Give A.I ability to have emotions...once they are embedded with human error wait for sometime ...

Months later A.I's are ranting about how humans are taking their jobs..

I'll probably learn how to cook, maybe open a café and start selling overpriced coffee and Savory snacks.

Okay, fine, I'll go back to teaching at Hogwarts.

*Clocked in at 9. Worked for 7 hours. Realized it's only 9:30*

1 - co-workers

2 - clients

3 - life... just life man

When you Review a coworkes Code and ask yourself
"why does this even produce anything valid??"

When you embrace the TDD coding style, good things happen.

The beautiful tester who sits right in front of me... Man she's awesome!

That wonderful first thing in the morning meeting where your PM who has zero coding experience wants to try to critique your already working code... 🙄"I think you forgot a semicolon here..."

So they were having trouble with the server always being slow and maxed to 100%, so the boss told me when wait times were hitting 5+mins due to server trying to catch up, he complained at me, said if I could get the wait time to 30sec to instant he would raise my pay to 90k a year, then walked away after I agreed, I was quite serious but I don't think he thought I was, so I decided to look over the system, IDK who but they put all the calculations and processing server-side for the CA's on floor then sent the completed view to the CA, so I spent months recreating the entire system except the server only pulled the data needed then the new client would do all the processing on their computer since they weren't doing anything anyways, I did a practice run today as its one of our peak days, wait times went to barely 5secs or "instant" according to CA's, I walked into the office, slapped that hourly report down after just two hours and showed the massive increase in employees production times.

That look on his face...
That look on my face...
That look on my next check...

Bliss