Everyday i used to spend an hour in the morning reading emails.

Until i made a script that reads all mails, parses to urgent/priorities/meetings etc. Then shows me a dashboard of everything. 1 hr turned to 20mins max.

Then i made a chatbot out of it and now i just talk to it everytime and gives me the rundown.

Gave me so much time to code instead of reading fucking emails.

My productivity hack: headphones and a simple sign that says "NO".
...works!

Me bug fixing

When people post "MBA" on their title like, "John Smith MBA" I have an IMMEDIATE eye roll 🙄.

Another graphic I made

Best experience: Learned about templates

Worst experience: Had to use templates

Ha Ha Ha... No one can replace my terminal ever...

Watched a show where this girl downloaded "7 Teraflops of data" to her windows 10 surface computer in the period of 10 minutes.

What an Uber leet hacker

When you build a site on heroku not thinking alot of people will see it, and out of nowhere you get crazy messages from alot of people saying why does it take 5 hours to load your website. :/

Chinese co-workers visiting in our European office would just loudly fart in the office, no problem.

Then they'd be VERY embarrassed at someone using a toothpick after lunch.

Interesting cultural differences.

Well now, I wouldn't want to mention anyone specific since talking about someone behind their back and calling them 'weird' isn't very nice. 🙄 But absolutely HYPOTHETICALLY speaking, if I HAD a weird coworker, they would probably...
- ... strut about the office, telling all how great yet underpaid their work is
- ... write lots of 'concepts' because coding is for lowly programmers
- ... insist that the code they have to do when boss is looking is simply too complicated for unit testing, and 'that's great!'
- ... brag about their/wear to work a ridiculous array of ties in every colour imaginable, when everyone else shows up casual

- ... trap people into listening to them talk for hours about...
-- ... ties
-- ... their misspent youth
-- ... how awesome they are/were/will be
-- ... why it's a good idea to eat cheese

- ... never let me forget I'm female, coz *insert BS reasons why all devs must by nature be male here*
- ... send me little unsolicited notes and mails with funny (sexist) jokes *har har*

- ... be let go, at which point everyone else discovers why they had so much time that they could spend chatting away at the watering hole
- ... earn the eternal hatred of anyone picking up the pieces of their 'work'
- ... try to steal our customers away who will laugh in their bloody face

Just my theory, of course..

Once a weird co-worker gave me a condom..since I'm a weird guy too, I accepted it just to have a peculiar stuff in my wallet...I'm a guy, no girlfriend, he's a guy too...im straight tbh...him..i dunno

A few years back we hired a new guy for our sales department. He worked with us for less than a week and seemed pretty normal.

Until one day he came into my office sat reeeeally close to me and actually whispered into my ear: "last night around midnight i was a bit hungry so i got up and fried some sausages".

Then he looked at me with the weirdest grin ever and just sat there for like 15 seconds not moving a muscle.

😳

I had a client that used to send emails to detail requests or report bugs on a software.
Now, believe it or not, this was the regular way:
An email with just an introduction and a Word document attached, containing very verbose descriptions (usually not in a human known language) and most importantly, screenshots.
What's so weird about this? Those pictures were captured with printscreen, printed on paper, scanned and then inserted inside the doc 😭😭
Why all this? I don't know, otherwise I wouldn't have posted it as #wk32 ☺

He wears black short sleeve button down shirts and a fedora every single day, it's very peculiar

Just a guy burping and farting all day, every day.
He was a very cool guy and a good worker, so he was excused. But it was very weird when he just started at the company!

I work in a very diverse team. I'm a white male, from the US and I have someone from Russia, one from China, and 2 from India. The best thing so far was a team building exercise, where we went to a AAA baseball game, and I got asked all kinds of questions, that of course seem strange to me.

How many pitches can the pitcher throw?
What happens if they hit it past the lines on the left and right?
Can they hit again if they strike out?

I have previously mentioned my weird co-worker. He likes to come up behind people and shoulder surf, asking "whatcha up to, buddy?".

He also thinks he's a manager, which explains a lot I guess. I half expect him to walk around with an " Initech" mug saying "Yeah....if you could just have those TPS reports done by lunch, that would be greaaat".

YOU ARE NOT MANAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SPECIALIZE IN. GO FIX A PRINTER, GAH DAMMIT.

...and he mumbles.

I'm not perfect though, so I'm sure I have weird quirks about me.

Weirdest coworker...I once recommended a guy I knew from college who was a great coder, but he always came to work dressed in his pajamas and such. On top of that he caped all the time and I caught him weighing drugs in the bathroom. But because I recommended him I couldn't very well call him out on it.

Sent my coworker a LMGTFY link sarcastically, and he legitimately thought it was a great tool for showing people how you search for stuff on the internet.

This same client had never in his 50+ years on this Earth, used a debit or credit card to pay for a meal at a restaurant. Needless to say, we made him use his company card for every meal on the rest of the trip.

He also wears a black trench coat... Everyday.

while(true){
planFeature();
implementFeature();
while(hasBugs())
fixBugs();
}

Had a new co-worker I was responsible for training. I am several years his junior, but he is working with a new language/framework I'm fluent in. Day 4 into training, he walks into my cubicle, sidles up next to me, I look up at him, he farts loudly, then (without seeming to realize what he's done) he proceeds to launch into a long-winded question about coding best practices.

If this were an isolated incident, I'd have written it off, but the dude did it again when he came to my desk and asked me to open a jar of pickles for him, and many times over during casual conversation.

"Why do I need to rebase my changes?!? This is too complicated - I'll just force push!" *facepalm*

I used to work with a guy that fell asleep at his desk. Apart from that he was a great guy. Learnt a lot from him (sadly not the sleeping at the desk part).

Was office SharePoint bitch at one point. This guy wanted me to build a workflow for him that would enforce insane checks on his (peer) colleagues. Asked if his manager approved and obviously they hadn't. So this guy started telling me he would build his own application from scratch and host it on his home server if I didn't help him. Pointing out the business might object to their confidential data being put on his home server didn't put him off. Getting laid off a few months later for gross incompetence did however.

I am afraid describing my weirdest coworker would result in me getting stabbed by him with a Mickey Mouse mug. There is no coworker in the world as weird as him, and he would instantly recognise me if I were to describe him here.
I am afraid of his Mickey Mouse fetish. Actually he is 35+ and used t *gets stabbed with a Mickey Mouse mug*

Doing a code review for a co-worker in a different country

The requirement was to dynamically show a field; they didn't understand it and thus they removed the field.

FML.

My weirdest ever co-worker was a man who called himself "the code" and wrote exclusively JavaScript.

Happy Birthday!!

Police officer McDucky reporting for duty. Hope we catch a lot of pesky bugs and complete projects.