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Me: *programming*
Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*
Me: *programming*
Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."
Me: "What, that's stupid."
Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"
Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."
Me: *programming*
Team: *doing absolutly nothing*
Me: "I fixed it!"
Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"
Me: "You didn't ask..."
And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.13 -
I know someone from Uni who used a green text on red background IDE to make sure the colourblind person sat next to him couldn't copy his code...11
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Senior : You sure you can do this job?
Me : Yea, it's easy, I just need to write a simple subroutine.
Senior : *Still sceptic* You sure?
Me : Yea of course.
Senior : *Walks away after sighing*
Me : What was that all about?
Fellow Dev : *Looking at my screen* Dude, you really need to start using the dark theme on your editors. It makes you seem more of a professional developer.
*We both burst into laughter* 😂8 -
My weirdest ever co-worker was a man who called himself "the code" and wrote exclusively JavaScript.9
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Today we got the following (approximately, don't remember it literally) error message on a windows server:
Please turn on your computer. Updates can't be installed while your system is turned off.
Genuinely; de WUT?!10 -
Just a personal thing (and no clue why) but I can't fucking stand it when people say www. in front of their domains.
Working as a Linux + support engineer, I get quite some calls where people have to give me the domain they're calling about.
"what's the domain if I may ask?"
"oh that's www.theirdomain.com!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST SAY THE DOMAIN, WWW. IS *NOT* PART OF IT, IT'S JUST A FUCKING SUBDOMAIN 😤18 -
Funny. Drunk, standing here waiting for my fries and thinking about rest api implementations. I'm weird.4
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Interviewer: Any plans on pursuing Masters?
Me: I haven't thought about it so far
Interviewer: You know what, work here for 1-2 years then go do your Masters, then join Google or Facebook
Me: Ok :|12 -
Pressing Ctrl + S only once to save your code in the editor is the tech equivalent of locking the door to your mansion and not pulling the knob to check if it has indeed been locked.5
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My avatar looks a lot like the 1980s version of Weird Al Yankovic. I never realized how much I look like 1980s Weird Al.
7 -
My cousin bought me a backpack big enough for both laptops and all the gear I need (with pockets for all). I'm a happy nerd 😄8
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When I'm sitting at home scrolling through rants and laughing once in a while, my boyfriend always wants to know what's so funny. Most of the time I then have to explain the rant and he always says "you IT guys are sooo weird" and shakes his head
🤓🙈😂10 -
6 months of internship made me realize that solving other peoples bugs is my biggest distraction.
Apparently I enjoy solving bugs more than writing clean code from scratch. 😐5 -
Am I the only one who solves more bugs in my head on the commute home from work than I actually do at work?10
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#JustMenThings.
!dev
I just noticed that when you do The Nod™ to other men, you nod up if you know the person and you nod down if they are strangers.9 -
Not entirely dev related.
Just wondering if I'm the only one on here who actually EATS coffee beans regularly?
😐44 -
I'm fairly certain my boss'.....boss (didn't want to count them.. it's high up the chain, and slightly lateral) thinks I'm incredibly weird. I have too many sports injuries to be fully functional and they all flare up while I'm sitting at my desk. To offset this, I stand up or walk around while on the phone, and occasionally stretch.
These stretches are for hip and it band, usually, which are a bit more involved, so of course he ONLY fucking walks into the damn office while I'm stretching. (Image search for hip stretch).
To top it off, I have an unfortunate colored ointment for the pain in my elbow that i was applying today while stretching, and im scared to know what he was thinking before he realized what was actually going on. Imagine hip stretching (this one with leg on desk) while rubbing milky sort of clear ointment into skin...
Sir, if you're reading this, I promise I'm not actually that weird at work, you just have shitty timing.5 -
Remember that question on Stackoverflow: GIF or JIF?
Today, my teacher pronounced Github as Jithub... Now, I know why they asked. No offense, it's just weird for me.12 -
I am afraid describing my weirdest coworker would result in me getting stabbed by him with a Mickey Mouse mug. There is no coworker in the world as weird as him, and he would instantly recognise me if I were to describe him here.
I am afraid of his Mickey Mouse fetish. Actually he is 35+ and used t *gets stabbed with a Mickey Mouse mug*
7 -
Decided to update my rooted Oneplus One...
Everything worked on the first try without even having to do a bunch of reboots...
Hate it when weird stuff like that happens.2 -
I watched a criminal minds episode today where the first scene was someone calling a programmer weird, then two seconds later a sniper shoots the programmer in the head. Then he was never brought up again!5
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When you have to wake up by 4am because of an early morning meeting. Its almost 2 am and still wide awake. Fucking brain5
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Anyone had this situation ?
Compile:
It returns null
Change something:
It returns error
Undo the last something and compile:
Works perfectly
😵😵😵😲4 -
Its never a good idea to let 2 bots have a conversation on Discord...
i think they have some kind of relationship crisis idk.
3 -
What's your dream job?
Mine is working either at Digital Ocean as a server maintainer/service/programmer or at Red Hat developing gnome.31 -
Things I imagine when talking to the client
1. Setting his tie on fire
2. My boss kissing him on his forehead as he explains the go live strategy
3. Him bending over and picking up a quarter stuck to the ground and then getting run over by a grandma on her mobility scooter3 -
God I'm fucking done for today.
We just finished a "Climate-conference-simulation" in school.
Basically ~90 students split into 6 groups representing a delegation of a country or a group of countries.
EU,
USA,
India,
China,
Other developing countries,
Other industrial countries
The target of our efforts was the reduction of global warming from ~4 C° by 2100 to around 2 C°.
My group (USA) elected me to speak and represent (I did kind of mimic the American stereotype of being egoistic and self centered, no offence intended)
As all the other nations and groups were planning great schemes, my group simply continued to put, well, basically rocks in their path by not playing along cause aforementioned stereotype.
It's the working phase after the second presentation of results, I'm sitting there with parts of the Chinese and EU delegation and suddenly two of my friends, in different groups, put my hood over my head, drag/carry me out of the assembly hall, toss me out and leave me there.
Was funny and all, but damn, it's fucking exhausting to stand in front of around 100 people (including teachers and stuff) and completely not play along with the other group's opinions and plans.
But hey, I've been congratulated a lot of times cause I've perfectly stayed in my role.
Yes it was weird19 -
Hello everyone.
I've seen people doing story/rant to introduce themselves, and I never done that, probably because I'm terrible at doing so, and the more people their is, the more complicated it gets for me. 😥
Usually I try to blend in, and be the same color as the wall. But I want to try something different, so bear with me as I go through this painful process. 😶
So here I am, a lonely dev, who only have friends through a screen, living in a dark room only lit by green leds (tho sometimes it turn red/pink), lost in a small street of Paris. I usually avoid posting on social media, but here on devRant, I feel alright, somehow, it feels like home... 🤗
Started developing at 14 with html and php, then css and js (with the later still being a mystery to me). 🤔
I never really had a real job. Had 3 month as an intern into a human size web agency, and despite the recommandation they gave, I didn't like the job... Dropped from school and self learned everything I know today. Did a certain amount of personal projects, but no publication for lack of confidence. As of today, I'm 28. 🙂
Then a year and half ago, I changed to c# with unity3D, and I had a ton of fun since. 😄
Learned cg effect, texturing, 3d, a bit of animation. I'm working on a project of indi game with two people that are my only social interaction outside of my family, and now devRant. I don't mind being lonely tho. 😯
But this community is awesome, so I'm glad I stumbled across that sad face on the play store. 😄
Also it's 7:30am, I didn't sleep because of this post, I'm tired, and yes I'm an idiot.21 -
I kinda wish they called programming lanuages programming dialects
I feel like im still writing in English, the message I am trying to convey to the computer is the same. To me they all just have different accents and ways about doing things4 -
I was reading about AI, and now I want to buy a self driving car, and set it free... We shouldn't cage up AI in a car, what if it wanted to be an apache helicopter?
Ow wait that's even more scary 🙃7 -
I've developed an interesting habit. I wear a hat 24/7. The same exact hat.
I (almost) never wear my hat backwards. I think its weird, and I look weird, and its just too much weirdness.
There is one exception to this rule.
Before I begin coding each day, before a single stroke of my keyboard, I turn my hat backwards. I don't know why I started doing this, but it is almost as if my hat is a key and turning it unlocks all my programming knowledge.
Anyone else have a quirky habit they do before/during a coding session?12 -
No!
I won't fix your printer, and me working on your computer has nothing to do with the fact that you lost all your Facebook friends!
Oh. And while we are at it, your new TV has nothing to do with Gmail looking different!2 -
Went to my boss to tell him that I will be leaving by the end of the year. Apparently he had similar plans and pretty soon we were discussing where he can go to!5
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I don't know what it is but, isnit just me or does anyone else just find writing JavaScript really fun?
No... Just me? Ok cool15 -
My dev mates are all gone for Xmas
Before one of them left we hugged.
He said:gonna get laid tonight, I'm going to be all out of orgasms
Me:YOU CANT SAY THAT WHILST YOUR HUGGING ANOTHER MAN!
Wtf is wrong with my friends
They like to freak me out by saying awkward things in uncomfortable situations
PS I don't hug people like ever I was trying to be nice 😕14 -
$number = 3000/365*365-3000
echo $number
Output:
4,54747350886E-13
No, Just No. I really like you PHP but thats supposed to be zero. I don't got time for your Tantrum's. I got work to do!
PS: Does anyone know why this happens? Solved it by rounding on 10 decimals but prefer it would just answer 0 instead of me having to force it back.23 -
Just made google assistent crash after 6 minutes of use by simply asking "80 digits of Pi" Well even i can do 80 digits of Pi:
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899
I dont have many free time when i have school so im learning this when im not learning to school or whatever i have spend about 1 hour in 1.5 weeks so 1 hour = 80 digits of me learning Pi.
And as bonus on my Phone it crash Allo.10 -
Some of my colleagues realised that I have a devRant account. Of course they peeped into my smartphone screen when I was reading some weird stuff on devRant. They went on to install devRant and uninstall it the next day after realising that it is not 'Tinder of Developers' :D
if(devRant != Tinder.developers()) uninstall;
Haha6 -
IDK, there's something about PCB circuits with all the components on it... For some reason I find them very calming, I think they could even help me with my anger management and/or sleep problems (if I had any).
They are so nice and neat.. so strict and in order. Everything has its own place and its own path. Everything in there has its purpose. That's so nice :)
// triggered by https://twitter.com/iXsystems/...
4 -
Sometimes I don't want my co-workers to see the notes I write on a meeting, for several reasons: Maybe they might have bad intentions (yes, I'm a little bit paranoid), or sometimes I wrote stupid stuff just to concentrate or remember things faster, or I want to practice my cyrillic alphabet.
What do you think? how do you take "secret" notes on a meeting? Any slav in here that could tell me if he/she understands my calligraphy? XD
30 -
So... After reading up on the theoretical stuff earlier, I decided to make a real AI that can identify handguns and decide whether it's a revolver or a semiautomatic with 95 percent accuracy...
Well, basically, I been browsing my local gun store's online store for four hours for training data, killed a Mac mini while first training the system and I think I ended on the domestic terrorism watch list... Was that black sedan always there?
Anyway... It's working fairly accurate, my monkey wrench is a revolver by the way.
Isn't AI development a wonderful excuse for all kinds of shit?
"why do you have 5000 pictures of guns on your computer?" - "AI development"
"why did you wave around a gun in front of your web cam" - "AI development"
"why is there a 50 gram bag in your desk?" - "AI development"
Hmm... yeah well... I think it might work. I could have picked a less weird testing project, but... No.7 -
What music do you listen to while programming?
My choices:
-Anything in the YouTube channel "Traditional Music Channel"
-North korean/Soviet/Prussian marching music
-Roki vulovic, Asim bajric, Ceca, Tarkan
-Omar souleyman
-Classical music
-Heavy metal
-Tuvan Throat Singing
-Yodeling
-Video Games/Movie/TV show soundtracks59 -
I worked for a company who supplied CERN with some ultra high end equipment.
At one point the guys at CERN email me "Problem, check this out."
The picture was of some burnt out ultra expensive cards that fit into a larger chassis... the cards looked like they had been exposed to a fire that was located exactly between the cards, but none of the cards themselves looked like they had been on fire. The chips and such looked burnt, but more so exposed to a very hot fire, not like they were on fire themselves.
It was weird. I sent them some crates to securely ship them to our QA folks, and ordered them up about $500k in replacement equipment.
QA later said they never got the equipment, someone "from another department" picked them up from the dock. And CERN never asked about what QA found, that was weird because they always asked.4 -
Is it just me or every other back end dev that has this weird habit of trying to guess the back end used in every website you visit ?5
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Had to use a cmd window for adb to push some files to my phone so I could flash them and everyone is staring at me...
It's just a cmd window people... #Hackerman4 -
I might be fucked up, but I have a tendency to gravitate towards the shit that everyone else dislikes for the sake of knowing if their bias against is actually because shit is truly fucked up or if shit is legit plain WRONG.
From all technologies that I have worked with professionally I can count:
Java(currently in the form of old JSP services for an "enterprise level application")
Java for Android development - i was the lead engineer for a mobile project
Swift with IOS dev, same gig as the above.
C++ for Android development in the form of OpenCV with Java as well.
Javascript in all possible forms, basic input validation, ajax services, jquery datatables, jquery animations and builders.
Css/sass heavily
Clojure for an ldap active directory application
Python for glue scripts
Classic ASP with JScript and VBScript
VB Net forms
C# For ASP.NET MVC
Bootstrap for multiple intranet frontends
Node+Express for a logistics warehouse management tool
Ruby on Rails freelancing small gigs
Php in all ways possible from complete standalone php apps to Laravel and just php+composer apps aaaaall the way to wordpress
Django consulting
I have found that the one that I dislike the most is wordpress. And the one that I like working with the most is Node. Don't know why, i just do really fucking like messing around with Javascript, the language has changed a fuckload throughout the years and continues to increase and change. It was my first scripting language following a stint in me trying to learn cpp way when i was starting and royally FAILING
Never really got the hate for it, even when I used JScript with classic ASP i just enjoy working with Javascript a lil too much. And from all the above mentioned stacks safe from Php is the one, or one of the ones in which i don't royally suck :V3 -
There is a mark on the whiteboard hanging behind my desk that says:
"Days without people walking on <me> doing something weird"
Thus far. The head of the department has walked on me making fun of Indians(I make fun of everyone, my indian brothas from another mothas don't be upset, I particularly make fun of Mexicans), going on a monologue about how the white ranger rules supreme. Why Mario could totally destroy Mickey Mouse in a fight, why my manager is secretly in love with me(with her listening intently into my reasons) and singing the bad touch going "mimi"...dude just make mimi sound like words and you'll get what I mean.
Sometimes the dude just pauses by my desk to check if I am saying anything stoopid.
Work can be really funny sometimes.11 -
Wishing all the developers out there a very happy and prosperous new year. May your code always compile on the first try and your age gets incremented without bugs.
7 -
I starting to think, that I may actually be addicted to learning 😅 sound completely stupid, but I'm kinda stressed lately, so I wanted to take a day off, and not do anything.
But my mind kept being like "how does this work, how does that work, how do they fit together". I've never really tried before, to not research something, when I wanted to know how it worked, but Damn it's actually been hard not to...8 -
Doing a distribution center job right now just to pay the bills and had to do voice order picking (with a headset and voice commands etc) today. Well, that didn't go ideal:
*girl walks by and gives me a tip/hint*
Me: *puts headset back on*
Headset voice: you've logged off. Truck could not be located by provided ID.
😓😮
I said "fair enough, thanks!" 😐4 -
Sometimes my "L" keys stops working. Then I have to plug in another keyboard to press the "L" key there. After that I can unplug the second keyboard since the original key started to work again.7
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I don't get it. We're looking for a web developer and we're getting CVs from a continent over from people with no programming experience or with no web experience. What is going on?
Like there's this CV is from a guy that only does C++ in Kuala Lumpur... We're in Canada.
No one is local nor qualified. I thought a Wordpress dev position would be easier to feel.7 -
For the first time in my life windows 10 repair fixed the PC?
Was getting bluscreen regarding unmountable boot, memory management then try to open it now it started diagnosing your PC.
Started reading devrant it fixed the problem and it works now.5 -
Recently I got an E-Mail from PayPal.de with the headline "Your account gets limited". Fun Fact: I don't have a PayPal account.
This Mail got me curious though, as it couldn't be a phishing mail, since I don't have a PayPal account in the first place, so I opened the e-mail just to get greeted by pure emptiness. It was completely empty. I thought to myself "oh no, is this some sort of new trick? Did I get infected by some sort of a weird hacky backdoor trojan already?!"
Name: PayPal.de
Original E-mail Address: NULL (never seen this before)
I then realized, that Thunderbird blocked the only content from this mail: a clickable image.
This is getting even more confusing the longer I examine this unique mail. The image is showing me a domain from a site completely unrelated from PayPal, so it was obviously no phishing, but I didn't trust this clickable image, so I looked up its hidden link to find an even more confusing redirection to not a picture upload site like the image suggests, but to a game key reselling site instead, like wtf? What was the whole point of this whole e-mail? Was this a weird try to make advertisements for more than one website? It wasn't even a ref-link or something like that. It was just weird, iunno.
8 -
In the past, the company that i worked gave to all the employees usb to save whatever they want, after that, this happened.
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: The USB that IT gave to us it's broken.
Me: Broken?
User: Yeah, i can't plug-in in my computer.
Me: Did you try turn around?
User: Of course i.. ah, f**k yeah.
And ends the call.2 -
Sent my coworker a LMGTFY link sarcastically, and he legitimately thought it was a great tool for showing people how you search for stuff on the internet.
This same client had never in his 50+ years on this Earth, used a debit or credit card to pay for a meal at a restaurant. Needless to say, we made him use his company card for every meal on the rest of the trip.
He also wears a black trench coat... Everyday. -
This new WhatsApp status page is weird ....I miss the one liners that I used to give as status...
Does anyone feel the same?6 -
Nothing like writing summary comments on methods to make you feel smart. It's like:
<summary>
ObviousWellNamedMethod is a method that does obvious well named thing
</summary>
<param name="WellNamedObviousParameter">Represents the well named obvious thing used in the obvious well named method</param>
I hate coding standards sometimes.4 -
My parents think I'm teaching computers to think strategic to rule the world some day. They are a bit scared. They love me though. But they are scared.
Also my mum once told me that I should take care not to end in hell. She was serious about it. -
!rant I just put my phone in my pocket with the devrant app open.
I take my phone out again about 10 minutes later and i'm in the process of making a new devrant account....
So somehow while the phone was in my pocket, it must have clicked the logout button and sign up button and had entered random letters for the email name and password section.
Boy, i'd like to know what my pocket (or Ass) wants to rant about....2 -
A weird thought popped up in my mind this morning. I thought about buying an iPhone.
Please rid me of this weird notion.21 -
Have you noticed that many core Linux C programs use "die" as the error-and-exit method name?
Just shows how much these devs think of Linux processes as living people.
Now one of us just has to create a Skynet without the die() function.1 -
Do you sense something weird on this dead simple code?
The teacher showed a similar code recently in my C class. It was weird to me since I know C for years. I want to know what you guys think about it.
24 -
I found a post in the depths of the steam forum about borderlands 2,that if you open the steam-overlay's browser while in-game, go to youtube, start a video and paused it, you would get +10-15% FPS. Tried it and it worked.
I can't even start to imagine the causal chain that causes such a... bug? feature?4 -
!sure if rant
i think i just realized the main reason i hate programming even though i love programming.
i love being able to think about whatever i want to think whenever i want to think.
but programming jobs inherently and many segments of own hobby projects often require me to think about something specific which someone else requires me to think about...
does that make any sense?2 -
So one day I sat in our break hall at school plonking away in my ssh terminal when suddenly someone walks behind me and screams HACKEERRR! When he sees that i start turning around he started sprinting away from me and for 2 weeks he would be extremely scared of me. Thant was probably the weirdest day in my life.1
-
Just woke up from a really weird dream about coding in PHP, watching Porn, some guy getting is dick cut off...
I wonder if all those things are somewhat related...5 -
Started learning Javascript. Came across many weird things. Like 'this' refers to the object in which the function is but when it is used inside a function which is inside another function it starts referring to the Global Object???Seriously?? I don't get it😕😵😢
But still I am starting to love Javascript along with its weird parts😁2 -
Just got an amazing lecture by text from a university mentor of mine on some of the coolest shit to do with cat in linux, and why you can do things like open a shell with cat /bin/sh (or in my case, use it to stall a program and keep open a shell in a simple buffer overflow task).
God bless all you mentors out there who take the time to explain exactly how all this stuff works. It feels so good to have an idea on the mechanisms on "WHY" something works, not just that it does and that you should use it. As someone new, it makes all the difference.5 -
My next stack overflow post on a fake account.
NOTHING WORKS IN WINUX!!!?
WEN I TRY 2 INSTAL WINUX, IT GIVE MEH ERRWOR. HALP!
I wonder how many downvotes I will get?
I'm not normally a troll, but today has been "fun"2 -
I am scared... I'm scared because the code works.. but it shouldn't work I mean it's not supposed to get triggered and I have no idea what triggers it. It feels like my program got cursed and started doing things on it's own. I even put up blocks to stop the function from triggering but it still works... It always works.. I am scared...7
-
This just came up in GitHub.
I guess my browser isn’t up to date??
And a second thing. Why does it even say that? GitHub seems to work perfectly fine.
6 -
While working, I suddenly noticed my own reflection on monitor
*starts thinking*
"I should get a haircut"
*starts coding again*
😐2 -
Bug I had to fix today: some elements in our React app were being swapped with other elements.
We had `<foo>bar</foo>` on the component but on the html `foo` was being swapped with some other element in our app. It's contents ("bar" in the example) were being left in place, though, so we were getting `<baz>bar</baz>`.
This would only happen when running on production mode. On development everything was fine.
Also, everything seemed fine on the React dev tools. `foo` was where it was supposed to be, but on the html it was somewhere else.
Weirdest shit I ever saw when using React. I found a way to go around it and applied that fix, but I'm still trying to track this down to the source.
The worst part was waiting for fucking webpack to finish the production bundle on every fucking change I wanted to test. I didn't miss the change-save-compile-test flow at all.
What a shit day.4 -
So my boss run 2 different companies, the one that hired me and the one that I work for like 40% of the time (through the first one).
This second company is now having a client that's asking for educational qualification for both my boss and me (?)
I mean, even if I didn't study, why would you need that? The product is up and running and works, so wtf do you want?11 -
Picked up stress braiding as a habit. Had a full loop Tuesday and after being unable to sleep more than two hours that night, found myself braiding my hair. For five hours. Straight. Was too lazy/tired to undo it, so went to bed with my hair braided. (My hair tends to stay without help, so I didn’t use hair ties or anything)
Today, I remembered that if something takes you five hours to do, it’s going to take you a while to walk it back. Took a couple hours.
Now I look like a poodle.
5 -
Sometime ago in my previous job an IT prick decided to troll developers by blocking access to stack overflow in our offices. It coincided with a settlement case of a few million dollars that our company had to pay because some idiot copied code illegally.
It was one of the most confusing hours of my life : a few hundred developers looking at each other and laughing in the weirdest fashion.
We sure shat some bricks.2 -
What an awesome navigation bar 🤗 please navigate me to site `-1` 😂😂 and then making a drawback 'n' fail with a server error page 👌😉
1 -
Multi-Screen problem: So I need to run a VR headset with a laptop, and the laptop has only one hdmi connection. I don't have any extra hdmi adapters, so I cannot connect my second screen while working with the headset, which sucks...
but...
then it hit me...
there is an app called spacedesk which allows you to use your phone as an additional screen. I have a docking station for my phone so I can connect hmdi to it. On the first try the resolution was shit since it uses the default phone resolution. But the phone has Samsung Dex, which allows you to run everything full screen on your connected screen, so I can run the app within Samsung Dex and therefore will get full resolution.
And this works. It's kinda stupid and maybe a bit complicated, but it works. God, I love technology :D:D:D
This is the adapter to adapter to adapter to adapter meme in action, just wireless. Lol. I'm proud of this xD5 -
I worked with a delightfully eccentric co-worker for many years... He was a UI/UX guy by trade but had a uniquely broad set of experiences in life.
Typical day often included singing, nerd-ranting and general jovial conversation. He was always a hoot at lunch as well, choosing to loudly proclaim his ultimate satisfaction and enjoyment at the meal he was consuming. -
We're all on gradle and we had a new guy who started a project with Maven. He also used atom editor for Java/Scala code (even though we had a license for Intellij), and refused to use anything with code completion (or turned it off if there was an option). My boss had to explain basic git branching to him, his pull requests were missing build files, READMEs and he'd check in tons of scripts to run things instead of using maven/gradle.
I just thought he was weird, but I didn't look at his pull requests close enough to realize how bad his code was, until they fired him earlier this week. -
Why I hate my job some days, the whole app crashes if you expand the details, then hit edit but is fine if you hit edit then expand the details. You gotta be kidding me.4
-
!rant
I need pancakes
on a evening
I'm weird help I can't debug code and I crave for pastry aaaaaaa4 -
I used to work with this Chinese coworker who wished himself 'Good afternoon' in Japanese everytime he ran into a wall when coding. He used to say, "Konnichiwa, Konnichiwa"!
But it's worth mentioning that he was such a good guy to work with! -
Don't you also just hate this strange bug where your smartphone writes weird messages when you're drunk?2
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I find it so weird when I install Linux on my hardware it runs perfectly. But when ever my friends try on their hardware, they somehow start a fire.1
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It's weird that devRant, being a developer-centric platform, doesn't support `preformatted text`.
I just want to put `code` in backticks and stupid code snippets in triple backticks.
I think it's high time we adopted markdown. Can someone please take this issue #27 up from 2017? It's 2020 FFS!
https://github.com/devRant/devRant/...11 -
Fuck I wish I knew what to do about low motivation!!! I have some ideas I think are really great, some that might be profitable, and fuck I just don’t do any of them. I spend more time panicking about what to do than anything else. But damn so much time wasted when I just needed a little guidance or a little planning or a little like less than $100 more money. That frustrates me to no end.
There’s so much bullshit to everything. This does follow up to my wk106 rant, where I’m trying to rationalize the tons of code that are behind the smallest features. How many thousands of builds go into a deploy. Just swallowing how much rite in software.
I feel like a failure at my job at times but what sucks is I’m just in the middle. Not the most experienced dev, not the least. I’ve got my feet wet in a number of things, but not a solid enough stack for a lot.
BUT SOMEHOW I GOTTA BE MOTIVATED TO LEARN. FFS I CAN DO BETTER BUT MY INSIDE IS BROKEN SOMETIMES AND I JUST WANK OFF FUCK GET IT TOGETHER.
Yea, I fight with myself a lot. I have a big ego and I’m a piece of shit at the same time. Idk. That is annoying too. If only I could get really motivated and focused on some of these projects I could do amazing things. I’ve never struggled with a subject I applied myself to. I just wasn’t motivated. I don’t know how to fix it and I wish I did. I also don’t know what the end game for me holds.
This whole complex really scares me for later life. I will have regrets because my mind builds impossible plans for good, but if I achieve any of it I WILL THINK damn I should have not dealt with this and done x. Like I could make world peace but be like damn coulda rebuilt cars or some stupid shit.
So I’ll conclude with that I’ve done a lot of jobs around the house, and yes working with drywall sucks. So sometimes I’ll think about that. But damn. That doesn’t last because I know I can do it well if I apply myself.
All this leads to getting overextended which is another huge motivation killer. I’m trying to learn self control and focus. But also I need small victories along the way. Very annoying.
Well at least I was motivated to finish this rant. I have a few weekly rants I wanted to participate in but couldn’t even find the motivation for that. There was a toxic person in my life then and I’m slowly getting back to normal but I know that even normal me struggles with motivation. Plus that toxic person was my friend and I’ve lost a lot of (long term) friends recently and that is a real drag. But they needed to go. But I wish they had just shut up sometimes then they wouldn’t have been so toxic. But I digress.
I know I have so many ideas I can’t do them all even if I am motivated and for some time is of the essence.
So look out for some collabs. And grab that motivation wherever you can find it.1 -
I once had to review and transform the code of one of my colleague at school which had no indentation, no spacing and was a clusterf*** of syntax errors. The nightmare was that it was all done in the ancient Turbo C++. So I opened up plain ol' Notepad and whipped up some decent code and helped him out of a tight situation.
Now he is no longer a programmer. :|7 -
Like to use devrant on company system too.. but my fucking new place just in front of manager. It seems like whole galaxy is sitting behind me to watch what I do :|3
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One language that I have always wanted to give more attentio to but felt as if I was in a constant fight was Haskell.
To me it felt unintuitive, and required a MAJOR shift in practice to get going. I really wanted to give it a chance but could not.
Every other language felt natural(even Lisp) but haskell for some reason seemed like a major mindfuck)41 -
I thought I at least was OK at JavaScript, but today I looked at a tictactoe implementation, and with all the fancy new syntax I have no clue what most of it is doing.2
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I just love working with this other company!
Their projects are fucking complicated, but still doable, they entertain me
But most of all, the examples they make are just awesome!
Like now I'm developing a CRM for a small clinic and there was an issue like "what are notes for?"
Reply:
"The patient is showily homosexual, remember to ask for his HIV exams after his next visit"
Other examples:
Q: "what happens during the visit?"
A: "the patients comes in, the receptionist will hand over a tablet with some questions like how deep his asshole is, then proceeds to to doctor office and there he will be raped for 30m, during the rape the doctor will take note of how destroyed his anus is, and will proceed to prepare a therapy"
Q: "I see there's the requirement for attachments"
A: "yeah once they get into the doctor room, they will be asked stuff like feet pictures to let the doctors jerk off later at night, but also PDFs about exams or some kind of stuff like that"
Q: "Will the staff be able to notify one another about random shit?"
A: "They're 3 people in like 40 square meters, so they might as well just shout 'hey, I shit myself bc there's no more toilet paper', they're close enough to hear one another"
---
I'm sorry in advance if you feel offended by any part of this4 -
Honestly if another person complains about how Java and JavaScript are not the same at all I'm gunna be mad2
-
Restarting regular expression parser from scratch has been good. I am somehow both much farther to completion and farther away from completion than I was in the earlier implementation.
Further in the sense that this implementation is going to be way more flexible to changes in the language
Farther in that I haven’t even got all of the regex parts added to the first stage yet.
But I’m feeing good about it.
Even if I did refactor it so my constants are in all caps and now feel like my core is yelling at me.
11 -
Something weird, my old contactless visa came apart and i took the contactless antenna and noticed that it doesnt connect to the chip on card in any way but has three stripes that perfecttly overlay the three sectors of magnetic stripe of the card.
Does this model work by actually reading the magnetic stripe when paying contactless?????
12 -
GitHub appears to be operating in some sort of time paradox at the moment as none of my recent commits are showing up.8
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'I remember, oh six months ago... when I was all like ... "I'll be that dev that happily takes PMs!" ... yeah... I hate six-month-ago-me'1
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Oh, ho, ho
It's Friday you know
Never believe, it's not so
It's Friday, you know
Never believe, it's not so
Have to stay awake
Can't wait to see tomorrow's day break
Leaning on my pillow in the morning
Lazy day in bed
Music in my head
Crazy music playing in the morning light
https://genius.com/Pilot-band-oh-ho...
On the other hand gotta prep for some interviews next week.... Oh and have dentist this weekend 😚😱😨😰😵 -
I've been dreaming about an eat() method in, I guess, Javascript. It would accept a string as parameter and set the cursor position further by the width of that string in the current font and size without displaying the string. A bit like a span with FG == BG.
But the best was the debug mode: the characters would be printed, but a yellow duck would appear from the left and eat them in Pacman style.1 -
Update on the kid with computer parts in his hand (ref: https://devrant.com/rants/1098717)
The old man came in and bought a refurbished computer. He didn't fart, thankfully.2 -
There are people who push code to GitHub and there are people who just fork your code on GitHub, and that's it. They don't do anything else with it.3
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*Lists packages with name "weechat"
1 result
*Tries to start package*
*Says package is not installed*
Wat
6 -
After a few days of debugging why sessions where getting lost in some versions of IE11 when all the other browsers where working just fine.
I found the solution in giving IE a potato.
Solution:
header ('P3P: CP='Potato')1 -
Since we devs are masters of the weird - I thought: "why not make a collection of weird things?".
Incase you want to contribute - Contribute!
https://github.com/Wittmaxi/...1 -
Saw a user session where user put in email address in card billing address. Is the UX bad or just a single stupid user, since this is the first time it happened.1
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WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.
Are you trying to tell me that 'oops that C written Javascript library just crashed by a WTFCrash within a Java VM'?
Eh What!? I mean what?!
Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...
5 -
My left cortex: You have a paper to write @poster983. Put devrant down.
My right cortex: NO! Enjoy yourself. You have a study hall tomorrow. Do it then.
My left cortex: Remember, you already said that about history. Best to do it now!
*mouth makes farting noise*
My Right cortex: COME ON! IT'S HUCKLEBERRY FINN. JUST USE SPARK NOTES! DO IT L A T E R!
My left cortex: fuck you right.
My right cortex: right back at you.
*Snapchat buzzes*
My full brain: OK HALT THE DEVRANTS! THE BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING!
(Notice the recursion here?). This is why I can't ever write papers.
Same thing applies to when I'm programing. I end up spending 2 hours on something that only should have taken me 1.
My left cortex: Stop Ranting!
Help me.
💩
2 -
Through a strange series of events, my job has led me to looking at an uncompressed image of atv riders taken in 2004. This career field might be the most full of rabbit holes to go down.3
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I don't like it when guys use emojis when chatting with me. I find it weird.
But when girls do it, I like it. It's hot.🔥9 -
I just realized that I don’t write ‘home’ anymore.. it’s always /home or $HOME
Even on google maps!1 -
Write down the song you're currently listening to as a function/method call
I'll start with with this one
jump(us) // Let's jump5 -
hey node what type is this?
> typeof []
'object'
but then
> Object.defineProperties.call([])
Uncaught TypeError: Object.defineProperties called on non-object
so is [] an object or not?13 -
!rant
So I've developed this weird habit of writing some important points while making college notes as HTML comments
Does anyone else do that?5 -
!rant
Going through my graduate program I have come to realize that there is more to A.I than just machine learning algorithms. As if ML was not complicated enough, we add more to it such as KRR and other topics that border on the areas of Cognitive Science, Boolean Algebra, Logic and even Philosophy and you know what? I dig it. I dig it because finding some of the information in the course that I am getting is damn near impossible to see in other items. Such is the case as a method for fucking signature unit propagation which afuckingparently was developed by one of my instructors(not complaining, just really fucking impressed)
The thing is, most of these items would normally have a parallel in software development that we use on our day to day basis, all of us, no matter if you do web, systems development, database development whatever, the general concepts are the same: you represent real world concepts, such as that of logic and knowledge in programatic/mathematical representations.
I am really amazed at the content of these items, I really am. I just wish for some clarification on ambiguity, seems like most things are left better if it where explained in a programmer's point of view. Most of the items that I have seen could have easily been summarized in a programmers logic if only they would have preferred to take the time to do it, and I get that there needs to be mathematical intuition formulated before anything, it is better sometimes to learn concepts from an outside point of view, a mathematical point of view, but shit is just strange sometimes.1 -
A weird question popped in my mind:
Can you have a website that has functionality without any html, as in the server does not return HTML( api's dont count, neither does a text only stuff, also not wix etc)
But still also has some layout etc...4 -
Noticing something weird. Is it normal that I cant scroll down on algo and that I already red them all?
I restarted devrant but same thing happens.3 -
Is it just me or feeling the imposter syndrome, and blogging about it is super trendy at the moment ?5
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When I was testing software. We had a night crew (came in from different management) to help with the suite. They did not know the first thing about testing and would just hack away (move things) from desks and test benches.
So, every mourning involved putting back and finding your desk/bench to proper working oder so you could test.2 -
Oh my... Downloading dependencies on the hospital's network is a sloooowwww draaaagg. It's almost like hospitals aren't suitable for developers!
Joke aside, I'm enjoying my orange while waiting for that download to finish and it occurred to me - an orange - a food that very strongly associates with a hospital in our country! And a mandarine is a fruit that means "Christmas!!!" I believe that's a legacy in post-soviet countries :)
And here's my question. Do you, folks in other countries, also have any foods (preferably something rather ordinary) that have strong similar associations? Not necessarily Christmas or hospitals though :)
(I can guess rutee's association :) )8 -
No idea what the fuck just happened, but my home router just dropped the internet connection and started demanding that I change the admin (default) password.
Now, I know that default passwords are bad and all that, but why the fuck now? This thing has been sitting there for over a year, and it only decided to complain now?
There have been some weird things going on lately, and I'm starting to worry that some of my systems may have been compromised in some way... but I'm not sure what/how, nor how to look for it...
Any tips for identifying a breach and disaster recovery?11 -
Last night I had a dream that knowing how to use Kali Linux was one of the requirements for a job I was looking at applying for.
So I was thinking to myself "hey, I know Kali, I should put that on my resume," but I was too lazy to do it right away, and when I did try to add it, my resume wouldn't compile (LaTeX) because one of the brackets was missing, but I couldn't find where the missing bracket was.
It was weird...1 -
Client : Make us those light weight version or lite, whatever it's called.
Me : Well... ok.
Client : So... it's gonna be you who will hit the gym or us ? -
I live in a college, sort of..
2 hours ago, the power was lost unexpectedly for less than a minute and then came back. Internet didnt tho.
They dont handle their own infrastructure in this college thingy, they hired a school to do it (it sounds fucked up, and it is a little fucked up).
Now little me is becoming impatient and offers my help. Gets rejected.
Additionally, i just started to have a fair sleeping schedule, and noe because the internet isnt working im about to fall alseep before lunch again.. i hate the people responsible for IT here..3 -
What is your way of diagnosing a desktop/laptop?
An employee at work told me that her daughters laptop is acting strangely and she asked me, since I am into computer and I said sure. I said to her to tell her daughter what I am specifically looking for. I never really done this before.6 -
Wouldn't it be awkward as hell if we would all only just rant in our native tongue ... Comment below your workaround, if needed 🤣9
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I quite enjoy finding some documentation from folks who have been working here before me. I hate searching for it though.
Found some in onenote, some scattered and quadrupled over several files across many shares. It's like the norm, right.
Today I found a bunch of documentation inside keepass entries. What the fuck comes next? I swear I'll start putting documentation inside dns txt records if I find any more sick places that people put valid documentation into.3 -
Am I weird if I decline lucrative job offers just to have a job that is fun and kinda meaningful even if I don't push my limits here, but they really can use my expertise? On related note, is there a bag of money that would convince you to do some boring job in corporate environment working on some fucked up internal systems of some fucked up bank? I found out that twice my current salary is not enough but tempting. Am I weird?2
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I just woke up from a lucid dream.
I could really control the situation, but it was fun telling my mate how IT stuff works LOL.
It's 3.22 am for me rn.
I fucking told my classmate how the proxy server at our school works. How the packets are being sent and received, how they get cached at the proxy server and through how many nodes they approximately get.
PS: I don't have a rubber ducky or whatever you call it to tell the problems of the program to it.7 -
Am I the only person who doesn't listen to music. Everyone I tell is shocked and asks me how I am still alive. It's not that I hate music I am just not listing to it.2
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I get a chill or an eerie feeling when there are more programs open than needed and I go ahead and kill them.
Is it just me or happens to others too?2 -
I have several tasks in my job. Not all of them are straight up dev, some are also student related. Since my coworker left I was rediculously overbudened, simply because the tasks I have to do are sooo far appart from one anothet. After talking to my boss, we get to hire some people to help (big yay!) But now it is upon me to write the recruitment adds so to speak and also talk to the people and interview them. What the heck I have no clue about this whatsoever xD i mean, i kinda feel honoured that my boss trusts me enough to do a pre selection for her. But damn. .-. I'm barely older then the applicants (it's all at uni and I'm a student and so are they)
Anyone got tips for interviews? I dont need them to do dev work. More like working with kids and presentation prep and support.1 -
so today was my physics exam(optics and optical devices) and this weird thing happened..
and before i get to tell you what happened , 2 months ago another set of examinations were going on and there is this attendance sheet that we have to fill up with a code provided on the answer sheet and signature. It has 2 columns(code and signature) and 5 rows(5 exams) and every student has his 5 rows unseparated by any space. So i filled the code and realized that i have filled it in the wrong area(last row of the guy before me). As it was first exam , i just cut it and thought its no big deal. In last exam ,this guy asks me "what have you done?" so i said its no big deal just write the code on the side. He said ok that was it(i thought)
now getting to what happened today, again it was our last exam , i got the attendance sheet and what do i see, this guy ahead of me filled up the code in my area and cut it. At first i thought ok maybe he was mistaken but then i realised that this is our last exam and we already have 4 signatures so how could he not see the difference between the signatures.
So he did that on purpose?
what kind of moron does that?
well maybe he felt delighted by doing this. idk too much weird for one day.1 -
Javascript is actually a weird language which I dunno why I like a lot.
new Date() in NodeJS gives a different value, while new Date() in the browser console(so react js and normal js) gives a different value.
I dunno if my online searching skills are bad but I didn't find anyone addressing this online. Lol I had to create a manual work around for it then.7 -
When one random persons says the following to a developer trying to make fun of his age:
Person: i had no idea you where the same age as me if you saying 20 years that you finished school. I always assumed you were much much older than me
Developer: what do you mean, im 36
Person: No you said 20 years, so you should be 38
Developer: i finished school at 16
Person: Oh..
Developer: *walks away -
I could work from home sometimes, the coworkers would be cool but focused, new tech would be encouraged and pms would defend devs against crappy clients, oh and no windows allowed, yeah I dont like sunlight (like linus house)
-
I work as a data engineer in my company. My senior calls himself data scientist- he is 29 years old and recently did one MOOC on data science!
I wonder when my colleagues will find out about how much he really knows.
Till then I am cleaning and arranging his data, while he sits and earns a big fat package by citing one data scientist tag to his profile!! -_-1 -
Weird Thought: Somebody should make donuts in the shape of a debug duck. This way, we can not only have hypothetical technical conversation with the duck, we can also eat them out of frustration of debugging.3
-
I'm in that position during the holidays when i really just want to spend all my time coding something interesting and exciting but instead I'm stuck in this limbo of empty ideas and wasted time. I want to build my skills but i feel like i don't have anything i interesting enough to work on. How do you guys handle this? Help.3
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So after a month and a half without my PC, and thus only using Linux as my main platform, I turned the thing on.
Man, Windows is weird after not using it for so long. Got up to speed pretty quickly though. Also found out that my college license for Visual Studio expired so fuck you, college.2 -
!rant
You know you're a nerd when you hear a song Weird Al parodied and you start singing the parody lyrics. -
New on the job. Got assigned to a project a former employee didn't finish, thousands of lines of code with barely any comments or uninsightful comments.
Is this what being a developer is like?2 -
I have enough up votes in one of my posts to order stickers. But I feel like I am not worth it yet.
Is this normal?
@dfox12 -
Hey everyone! I hope all is going well today & of course happy Friday,
I've had a thought in mind not too long ago and would like to talk about it to get it off my chest, very recently I was talking to someone about programming and how I enjoy playing around with the back-end side of things & playing about with output and data.
Yesterday I found myself trying to create a GUI application and found it quite difficult as I do not really enjoy the aspect of trying to figure out how I want it to look - It honestly felt as if i'd prefer printing things out to the command line and seeing if the output is correct etc... Not sure if that's weird or not? what do you guys think? have you ever been in such a situation or thought? :-)
I'm sorry if my question is a little all over the place.
cheers3 -
<rant class="question">
hey dev's that get coffee at Starbucks what does it mean if the girl taking the order has a chat with you remember you Everytime you get there and write a additional enjoy your front with a smile?
a friend of me says she likes me but I'm still not sure.
</rant>8 -
Is it just me? Or was Chrome acting really weird these past couple days? (I mean weird for Chrome, obviously)1
-
I'm the only one who doesn't understand how the fuck people dream about code/coding? I get it, you leave work and still think about a solution for a certain problem, that's normal. But dreaming/having nightmares about this shit is weird.4
-
Thought I'd share this awesome project to you guys that one of my friends made.
https://github.com/MSPaintIDE/...
He's trying to get it to over a thousand stars so it would be appreciated if you shared it with all your dev friends 😄
Edit: didn't know what category was best, but now that I think about it it should have been posted in question3 -
Are there any valid reasons laptops turn on by themselves?
I just watched my mothers laptop turn on by itself and i could have sworn it was turned off (not hibernating)9 -
Wtf, how did the volume and sound quality on all Coursera videos get fucked all of a sudden. When I tried a video, at first I couldn't hear anything. So I thought just the max volume is fucked on desktop. But the same on mobile too.
And other videos have weird robotic voices. Anyone else facing this?? Anyone from Coursera on devRant, playing an end of June prank or something, like wtf *cries*4 -
How many times did u face a bug, debug it, the debugging / printing vars shows nothing should be wrong, so when u stop u just find the bug is...gone?2
-
!rant
This morning I went to our PM.
After he went down on his knees and prayed to me (Yes. I managed to do a Feature he wanted soon) we watched a product gif of a new release of the framework we're using.
We watched it for 10 minutes. Was very relaxing
I think we're getting crazy -
I just moved into a new house that I share with some people and these people have a cat. I was quietly watching videos when the cat decided she wanted to be petted, so, logically, she stepped into my keyboard and trackpad and somehow managed to mute the video, restart it and exit full screen.
I must remember to close the door when I'm doing anything important.1 -
I'm new at coding and im learning java but i can't quite figure out, how many classes is too many?4
-
Dealing with React's setState and looking through all the possible lifecycle methods was so frustrating today.
It should have been a simple thing to disable a button, via the disabled prop, on click. I thought it would be enough to say
this.setState({ disableButton: true });
someSynchronousCode();
this.setState({ disableButton: false });
in the handler ... but it wasn't. The button would still be active for about a second after clicking. I tried several things like converting the synchronous code to a promise, trying componentDidUpdate with a comparison. It all failed. Interestingly enough removing the 2nd setState immediately disabled the button, though making it permanent.🙄
I've found a solution which seemed a bit hacky, changing the state back depending on another variable in the render method.
It seems so wrong, but it was the only solution I found after several hours.3 -
Just found out that vending machine in my new workplace has this cheap Chinese noodle soups. I understand point of energy drinks and croissants but this... why?
-
I had seen a meme the other day about the "Application has stopped working" window, which always shows the same answer for all. Why? And why does it say "We'll notify you when there's a solution" when this doesn't happen at all?1
-
I, I don’t even know how to search this... when I run an app from Visual Studio in IE (cancer, I know it’s a long story and above my head) my kerning is a mess. When I publish the same app to the dev server, it’s fine. The kerning appears to be the only thing messed up.3
-
I'm super bored, but I think I found a good way to spend my time.
https://theitsloth.github.io/contex...
https://theitsloth.github.io/editor...
https://theitsloth.github.io/tabbed...
p.s. Code quality varies between meh and awful. -
Just updated my OP2 to the 3.0.2 through the bootloader, because it wasn't capable of installing it through the OS... I guess that was because I was running the Beta.
When it was done I got the lovely option of "Reboot" or "Yes". I pressed Yes, which sent me to the menu.... ? Well then the reboot option in this menu might work? Got "Reboot" or "No"... I guess someone forgot the meaning of yes and no :P (forgot to take a picture :() -
!rant && !question
If anyone has some info on this behaviour :P
I've got this website and it loads fine and stuff, but for some reason when I pop chrome into mobile mode on my desktop (you know the mobile emulator thingymabob) and reload the page the server returns a 500 error, like how does that even work?
(works on an actual phone btw, safari, edge, IE, Firefox, ....)
FYI I use lighttpd as a webserver4 -
I don’t mind to make any funnies or jokes here, but this sticky note realizes me that my spent time is proportional with my lack of everything about technology.
The more time i spent to explore it, the more f*ckin stupid i felt. But hell yeah luv it 🙈
-
.: I need validated :.
Does anyone else like Sencha so much that they don't mind eating the leaves as well? Reminds me of the nori in miso soup.1 -
If someone can shed some light on this behavior, would be appreciated:
I am running a couple of docker containers with lighttpd on my server (lighttpd is also installed on the host server for reverse proxy). Now whenever I kill lighttpd on my host server it also kills ALL the running lighttpd instances in my docker containers. Isn't docker supposed to be, idk, CONTAINERIZED?2 -
Usually I write code in Rails and usually what I happen to rails are vanilla PHP systems, I think I have some super natural knack for finding very old systems that do strange things.2
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