This guy loves Java too much.

Linux ❤️

- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

The woman who helped develop software for the Apollo 11 was awarded a Medal of Freedom today.

"The server is flooded!"

"With requests? DDoS?"

"No."

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

I literally laughed out loud

How to tell a programmer from a fraud:

1. Wait for some idiot to crank up the brightness of the dimmable ceiling lights at the office to the max with the motivation "the difference in brightness between the screen and surroundings is damaging your eyes"
2. You found him/her

Me after 3 days of trying to figure out c++:

"Fuck it I'm using java"

Fuck Visual Studio.

"Why do you need version control? The latest code is all we need."

An email from a bosses new deputy to us...

Sometimes we fail to understand them.....😞

It's a tradition, I guess (and these travelled here from the other side of the globe so it's something special ;) )
@dfox

Couldn't resist sharing this one

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:

"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"

Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"

The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash.

IP Man == Network administrator

The computers at my local vet clinic are suspended with eyebolts and leashes so they don't get pee'd on.

Windows is frozen

When lead dev ask you to clean trainee's codes.

ctrl + a , delete

😂😂

My friend had managed to move up viewport with pure javascript...

Just saw this comment in our code:

// TODO: think of a better way to do this

Committed June 12, 2012

For some, Jan 01 1970 was just the first day of a new year. For others, it marked the beginning of time.

~yesterday at a coffee shop~

Brother *bragging* about new workstation: "he" has 512gb of ram.

His friend: imagine how many chrome tabs you can keep open at once!

Me: almost one.

using my local provider

Those people who thinks they'll become a game developed coz they hates maths.

Rant that involved my manger hit a decent amount of ++.
Just seen him downloading devRant.

Music for programming.
For the ones who didn't know about this website, enjoy!
Sharing is caring :)

http://musicforprogramming.net

This is how cables are meant to be! 😍

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.