Typical code comment

bad code that works 👍

source: reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/

Privacy is a legend

It's a microwave!

Check it out: I just upgraded my workstation:

#!/bin/bash
rm -rf /

###########
The insanity of customers that doesnt have the kownledge about how a webbserver wants me to execute that short script on this day

You call it procrastinating, I call it thinking.

This option....

More stickers for the laptop. Awesome job with the stickers devRant

I had the old "got this great product I've developed, but can't afford a website, could you do it in exchange for a percentage of profits?"
Look, it's your product, I have had no say in its development, or quality or how you market it etc. I do websites and the website will do exactly what you want it to do. I couldn't give a fuck wether you sell one or a million. It's not my risk. Pay me for a site and I'll do it.

Dev: we have two days until go live. We got 20 bugs, 5 stories and two people on holiday.

PM: ok so could we get these 3 stories squeezed in as well?

underestimating the time it'll take != being cheaper than the competition

"Intense coding. A day passes. Wait, how the fuck did my code work? It doesn't make any sense!"

It happens so, so often, God why 😐

Most of what Architects do should be done by developers or by tools or not at all.

- Martin Fowler

when you're the only developer at a firm and the client wants something bc "it's super simple, that's how ebay does it, just copy them"

When you spend hours doing cross browser capability checks on your PC workstation at work and your web app looks like trash on Safari on your Mac at home.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

When you see a someone write this
if(condition){
return true;
} else {
return false;
}

Me seriously debugging someone's code.Analysing the code for 15 minutes.I reach end of file and I encounter a comment saying that this file is not being used and he doesn't have time to remove it!

Company sends email notifying us we'd need to register for two factor authentication because it would be mandatory for all access to email within a week. However, it had to get manager approval and had a side effect of giving us access to work from home (which my manager hates). So, we send the request to him, explain the situation, he denies it and says "that can't be right! Let's do this: if you do in fact lose access to email, then I'll approve it". Well, we did lose it, and just spent two days without any access to email and it was a huge pain to get the registration process done because one of its steps involved getting a validation code from the email.

Was having an internship interview, and the guy starts laughing while reading my resume and says:
"don't put visual basic on your resume if you don't want to work with it"
I proceeded to remove it ASAP.

Jenkins drives me insane sometimes!

PM: "This is a critical bug fix needed before we submit to Apple."
Me: *reads bug story*
Me: "Wait, this is only repo on a Galaxy S5?"
PM: "Yup! It's stopship."
Me: 😑 "No."

-> everyone at the company uses git
-> asked to change some stuff
-> boss says "don't remove the old code, just comment it in case we need it in the future"
-> ...
-> ???

When the designer who can't code anything is on double your salary...

Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Lead: Yes.
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
Me: Okay.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?

When the damn whiteboard is completely filled up with crap and it says "do not erase" in three different places.

fuck commuting, fuck rush hour, fuck this shit

when your client doesn't understand why you can't "just move that box an inch to the left" -_-

Desk helper: "Have a nice flight"

Me: "You too"

Fuck. I've been behind a screen for too long.