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So our genius client just posted a photo of our office whiteboard on Facebook with the beta site credentials on it... 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️9
Me: Vs Code
Friend: Light theme
Me: Dark theme
Friend: I believe there's some kind of energy that rules our destiny.
Me: Haha, seriously, no
Friend: (Starts telling me about some proposal of how he's going to build something).
Me: Yeah that's not going to work.
Friend: (Gets angry and proceeds to explain his idea on a whiteboard)
Me: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great
Me: (I start telling him about some proposal of how I'm going to build something).
Friend: Yeah that's not going to work.
Me: (I get angry and proceed to explain my idea on a whiteboard)
Friend: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great.
If we didn't have such a solid friendship, I think we'd hate each other by now hahaha14
Hello world, this is my first rant :)
Today at work, this was on the whiteboard.
Little "war" between the iOS pole and the PHP pole :D (Obviously PHP is better)21
My boss wrote the password to access the office on his whiteboard, which you could see from outside of the building.3
Today my mom gave me a 2 meter by 1,20 meter whiteboard. She says that that might help me to achieve my dreams with what i am doing on my computer. This is amazing.6
Tl;dr: owning and pranking other people with a wireless mouse is hacking and illegal.
Okay, so I wanted to fuck around with some people one day so I decide to bring a usb wireless mouse to my secondary school.
My first target was my science teacher (was a bitch). I got into class before everyone else and plugged in the small usb receiver then sat down and pretended as if nothing had happened. The lesson starts and here is where the fun begins. Her screen is projected onto a whiteboard so I could see what she was doing. Under the table I had my mouse and every time she tried clicking a dialogue, I would move the mouse ever so slightly so she would miss. After a couple of times, she started to get suspicious, maybe even slightly paranoid; my friend keked. I never got found out by that teacher.
Fast forward to next lesson: I already planted the receiver in my next victims pc. The victim was a bitch I hated so much at the time. She would used to bully me to an extent and was a loud noisy bitch. I really didn't like the person. I digress. When the time was right, I went to her folder, highlighted all her files, right click, hover over delete. But I wasn't so shallow to delete her stuff. That's not the person I am. I guess it was more of a threat really. But the teacher saw what was going on and she saw my wireless mouse and connected 2 and 2 together. She called the behaviour people, removed the reciever and the mouse from me.
Within a few minutes, I was in a room on my own talking to this woman talking about how hacking is bad/illegal and she knows I'm into it etc. But I wasn't hacking? I did no damage and was pulling a prank. Bitch didn't listen to me. She made me sign this document which said that if I fuck around with computers, I could be expelled and I won't be allowed to use to computers again or use them with many restrictions.
I didn't really care. To this day, I still don't have my mouse back. :(7
I was thinking today about a certain aspect of running a software startup and then it came to me...
Hank Scorpio, from the Simpsons, was right in his approach.
So many time I have seen people get hired only for the company to get a less-than-optimal performance from them.
But why is this? Of course, it is many factors but one of the major ones is...
Employers seem to lump employees in together and assume that since most developers operate in one way that the new devs should be the same way.
The problem with this seems to be that we are all pandering to the lowest common denominator.
Let's face it, most devs (like most people) are not good, and almost everyone is not living up to their potential because of a lack of understanding of themselves and how they can achieve more.
On top of that, most devs are just employees who will do what you tell them to.
Since those above developers are the norm (Reference Seinfeld "95% of people are undatable") we have to assume that there is a 5% who are exceptional.
The difference between the 5% and the 95% is NOT some built-in superiority but that the 5% has a good idea themselves and an understanding of how to get the most out of them. They set goals and then find the right path to achieve them. They don't coast.
By assuming these developers are the same as the others is REALLY hampering their potential and by doing this the company only hurts itself.
So, that's a lot of talking but what actionable things can be taken away from this?
Hank asks Homer "What is your dream?"
Well, employeers should take the time to identify which of these developers are in the 5%. A problem arises though when the 5% decide it is in their best interest to blend in.
Like when home says his dream is to "Work for you?" Hank shuts him down and wants to get to the truth. He makes Homer comfortable with not only vocalizing but achieving his dreams.
When an employer is looking for their types they should be looking for the following...
1. A real genuine desire to achieve
2. A real plan to get their goals done
3. Critical thinking and self-evaluation
But more importantly, when they identify these types they should be asking questions like...
- How can we help you be more productive?
- Is there anything about our current operating norm that is hindering you?
- How does your productivity workflow look?
3 difficulties arise though…
1. Most hiring managers are incompetent, and quite frankly, everyone thinks they are in the 5% and for those managers who delude themselves into this without putting in the work, they will have an impossible time actually identifying those who are actually good and productive employees.
2. Showing special treatment to these folks may upset the people below.
3. You will hear things you don’t like…
- That new fancy open-office that you got because it was the trendy thing to do, you might hear that this is a huge hinderance.
- These days people seem to treat devs like nomads, “just give him a laptop and a table and he is fine”!. You may hear that this is complete BS. Real achievers may want a dedicated desk with multiple monitors, a desk with drawers etc.
- This WILL cost you money. I know of developers who cannot work without a dedicated whiteboard. Buy them whatever they need.
- They may want BOTH a standing desk and a chair to sit on.
The point is that it seems to me to be a foolish strategy to tailor your entire company to force everyone into the same work habits. Really good employees have the self-awareness to develop their own productive practices and any keeping of them inside a box will NOT help.28
When I encounter a bug, I gather my 3 rubber ducks, pull out my imaginary whiteboard and tell them - "Differential diagnosis - Go!"", then proceed to snidely shoot down every suggestion they come up with.6
The last year my school installed MagicBoards (whiteboard with beamer that responses to touch) in every class room and called itself "ready for the future of media". What they also got is A FUCKING LOW SPEC SERVER RUNNING DEBIAN 6 W/O ANY UPDATES SINCE 2010 WHICH IS DYING CONSTANTLY.
As I'm a nice person I asked the 65 y/o technician (who is also my physics teacher) whether I could help updating this piece of shit.
Teacher: "Naahh, we don't have root access to the server and also we'll get a new company maintaining our servers in two years. And even if we would have the root access, we can't give that to a student."
My head: "Two. Years. TWO YEARS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T HAVE TO INSTALL UPDATES EVEN THOUGH YOU CREATE AN SSH USER FOR EVERY FUCKING STUDENT SO THEY CAN LOGIN USING THEIR BIRTH DATE?! DID YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT SECURITY VULNERABILITIES IN YOUR LITTLE MISERABLE LIFE OR SOUNDS 'CVE-2016-5195' LIKE RANDOM LETTERS AND NUMBERS TO YOU?! BECAUSE - FUNFACT - THERE ARE TEN STUDENTS WHO ARE IN THE SUDO GROUP IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!"
Me (because I want to keep my good grades): "Yes, that sounds alright."13
How do you know your code has become unreasoably abstract? When you need two hours and three cleanings of a big ass whiteboard in order to explain a random line of code from your overengineered project.
An abstraction level like that doesn't help anybody. Well, it helps you to keep your job, because everybody else would rather hang themselves with their own intenstines, than take over your fucking mess.
Whatever happened to simple config files? Why do we need config files for fucking other config files now? Is there any other reason than your progressing glue addiction? Probably even a reasonable one?
I get it that PHP is a very verbose and ugly language, but when I have to wade through dozens of files in order to understand what the fuck is supoosed to happen in that one shitty line that produces an unintelligibly worded error, I just know you're trying to hide a lot more than just the uglier part of the language in your abstractions.
Let PHP be ugly — you know it is and I know it is — but if I have to play Sherlock Holmes again and spend half an hour to understand one line spread over half a dozen files that could and should have been a one-liner to begin with, I'm going to hang myself with YOUR intestines.10
Working really hard, finishing tasks, upgrading servers. Cancel some useless meetings to finish up features, working till 2am to get a database migration working. Half of the platform is transformed, both customers and team are very happy about their accomplishments.
Boss: "OK, I think we're on the right path with these changes, but productivity and morale is honestly disappointing. Are you guys sleeping enough? You all look very tired and unmotivated!"
Attend all meetings, call boss at 7am to discuss random purchases like a whiteboard, run around the office holding a (broken, lol) MacBook, looking very busy & slightly worried. I shout random things at people across the office like "Nice work Gary!" and "Damn, you are on a roll Angela!". I initiate smalltalk with department heads, only to immediately disrupt the conversation by checking my phone saying "Oh I really have to take this one" (empty battery, lol). No one writes a single line of code for four weeks, and nothing new has been deployed by the whole team.
Boss: "I think it's commendable how productive the team has become this month. You guys are all so active and involved. A real improvement!"7
Not having finished any education, and writing code during interviews.
I have a pretty nice resume with good references, and I think I'm a reasonably good & experienced dev.
But I'm absolutely unable to write code on paper, and really wonder how some devs can just write out algorithms using a pen and reason about it, without trying/failing/playing/fixing in an IDE.
Education I think.
I can transform the theory on a complex Wikipedia page about math/algorithm into code, I can translate a Haskell library into idiomatic python... but what I haven't done is write out sorting functions or fibonacci generators a million times during Java class.
I don't see the point either... but I still feel utterly worthless during an interview if they ask "So you haven't even finished highschool? Can you at least solve this prime number problem using a marker on this whiteboard? Could you explain in words which sorting algorithm is faster and why?"
"Uh... let me fetch a laptop with an IDE, stackoverflow and Wikipedia?"30
My teachers rant: "Who invented whiteboard markers? *trying to write some code on the board, but the marker went dry* What every happened to black boards and chalk. Chalk never gets dry.... I going to have to look that up" LOL, man I love him. He is so old that its funny and cute at the same time15
The interviewer pointed out that I missed a semi-colon on the whiteboard code .I was like... sorry, but the whiteboard can't compile this code!
...and I wasn't selected! -.-"3
Had a final year project defence today in university. There were about 15 CS teachers in the room.
Our project was "Crypto Currency". After all the presentation was finish.
Teachers: so what is this blockchain?
** explained all about it and how it works with marker in a whiteboard **
While most of the projects were rejected and they have asked several cross questions to other friends, they didnt even ask any question to us and said our project is accepted.
Turns out teachers were taught by a student today, feels so good 😎 😂4
When a company comes at you with a skills test or a stupid whiteboard interview, while completely disregarding your portfolio/GitHub/other proofs of competence, run far away.11
So I've been playing some DnD with friends.
And we've been working with some lego characters, whiteboard markers and plastic sheets to draw on.
But that's always a mess:
The ink was old and did not come off again for the most part
The sides of the map curled up and and made the lego character fall over
The lego characters were too big
So I thought, why not make it digital?
And so I did.
I used UWP to make a master and a client, both using the Windows Ink api to be able to draw.
Some circles with an initial served as characters, and everything was synchronized using a TCP library I wrote half a year ago.
Yesterday we tried it out.
We all (including me) were sceptical if it would work well because the 'analog' clumsy way we did it before does have a certain charm.
But at the end we were all very enthousiastic about it and we'll be using it next time too!
It's awesome to be able to create programs for your own use :D
That's why being able to program is such a great thing!
Now I need to restructure everything, make it more efficient, add a turn order display, make the map zoom- and moveable and more and more....23
My second year of high-school, we started having class in computer science. I was really looking forward to it cause I always wanted to learn programming.
On first sight it appeared that the professor which taught the class knew something, he looked like a genuine geek with those dorky glasses, briefcase and pants like Steve Urkel, but after couple of his lessons you could see he had no real dev experience and just basic understanding of programming in theory. He was more reading stuff from the book than he was trying to explain them to students and give some real world examples.
So it was just one these days, everybody got back from vacation, it's hot outside, the guy is just reading sentences from his book, half of students talk with each other and other half doesn't give a fuck about him or his class. Pretty sure I was the only one trying to listen to him and learn something from his recitals.
All of a sudden he notices the atmosphere in the classroom, slams the book shut, gives out couple of F-s to the loudest students and yells out loud "NONE OF YOU IN THIS ROOM WILL EVER ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE, BARE ALONE IN PROGRAMMING"
At first I felt like shit, but soon after that I started thinking "who the hell are you to tell me what I could or will accomplish in my life". Couple weeks later I've bought myself a first book in programming and started learning C++ late at night since I understood that I won't learn anything about programming in that school. Two years later I was correcting this same professor with his claims on a whiteboard in front of a whole class.
Today, seven years after his words I'm a developer living in foreign country with what I could say somewhat a solid experience and understanding of how both software and web are build, while that same professor still recites to his pupils difference between assembly and object code, while praying nobody asks him where and how these are used. For maybe a quarter of my paycheck. So much about his psychic powers..4
loooool so many people cheat & skate their way through the CS major at my university. they’re in for the rudest awakening when an employer asks them to design an algorithm on a whiteboard19
An excerpt from the best rant about whiteboard interviews posted on the internet. Ever.
"Well, maybe your maximum subsequence problem is a truly shitty interview problem. You are putting your interview candidate in a situation where their employment hinges on a trivia question. — Kadane's algorithm! They know it, or they don't. If they do, then congratulations, you just met an engineer that recently studied Kadane's algorithm.
Which any other reasonably competent programmer could do by reading Wikipedia.
And if they don't, well, that just proves how smart the interviewer is. At which point the interviewer will be sure to tell you how many people couldn't answer his trivially simple interview question.
Find a spanning tree across a graph where the edges have minimal weight. Maybe one programmer in ten thousand — and I’m being generous — has ever implemented this algorithm in production code. There are only a few highly specific vertical fields in the industry that have a use for it. Despite the fact that next to no one uses it, the question must be asked during job interviews, and you must write production-quality code without looking it up, because surely you know Kruskal’s algorithm; it’s trivial.
Question: why are manhole covers round? Answer: they’re not just round, if you live in London; they're triangular and rectangular and a bunch of other shapes. Why is your interview question broken? Why did you just crib an interview question without researching whether its internal assumption was correct? Do you think that “round manhole covers are easier to roll" is a good answer? Have you ever tried to roll an iron coin that weighs up to 300 pounds? Did you survive? Do you think that “manhole covers are circular so that they don’t fall into manholes” is a good answer? Do you know what a curve of constant width is? Do you know what a Reuleaux triangle is? Have you ever even been to London?
If the purpose of interviewing was to play stump the candidate, I’d just ask you questions from my area of specialization. “What are the windowing conditions which, during the lapping operation on a modified discrete cosine transform, guarantee that the resynthesis achieves perfect reconstruction?” The answer of course is the Princen-Bradley condition! Everyone knows that’s when your windowing function satisfies the conditions h(k)2+h(k+N)2=1 (the lapping regions of the window, squared, should sum to one) and h(k)=h(2N−1−k) (the window should be symmetric). That’s fundamental computer science. So obvious, even a child should know the answer to that one. It’s trivial. You embarrass your entire extended family with your galactic stupidity, which is so vast that its value can only be stored in a double, because a float has insufficient range:"
Author: John Byrd
Currently written on the conference room whiteboard:
People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.
I couldn't agree more.4
At a job interview.
Them: Can you please write a function that calculates fibonacci numbers on the whiteboard please.
A classmate of mine had the task to align some content on a page to the center using CSS (using margins)
That classmate has no fucking clue because she pays no attention.
was the only thing she wrote into the text file that was projected onto the whiteboard.
The teachers asked: "What does font stand for?"
Her reply: "Uuuuuuh... Position?"
When they finally put a giant whiteboard in your shared office but you can't find a reason to use it...8
So, I love scribbling ideas on a whiteboard, like I'm sure most developers here do!
It's a release of creativity and a starting point for many sources of software I've developed in the past. And something that doesn't happen all too often where I get an overflow of ideas and put them on a board.
This week was one such rare week where the ideas just came streaming in and the floodgates weren't able to hold them back...
Then came the dam wall down river... MANAGEMENT!
They had already sold a product to the customer that didn't exist yet and tasked a junior developer (I'm talking fresh out of school) to deliver. Of course, this was promised last year already and now the customer had paid and is waiting for the goods!
Along I come with this design which will enable the product to grow, allow the junior development to learn, me to mentor and for us all to let the creative juices flow, all while I get to flex my web dev muscles.
But management wants something now! A temporary solution for the customer to keep them happy, seeing as they've paid some money, which is to be developed by the junior dev on his lonesome.
Meanwhile my beautiful design has been snuffed out and are mere streaks and smears on a whiteboard, and the creative juices seem to have dried up since.
I am feeling somewhat despondent at the moment...2
Our sysadmin just wrote our new work account passwords on our office whiteboard, visible to everyone... Now that's how you create chaos2
So the CEO tells me our new release needs to be compliant with new guidelines. I say sure, I draft up a few small changes and send them to my PM. He calls an impromptu meeting with the UI team and I explain my changes. They don't like them. They then proceed to draft and redesign a new UI based on these new requirements, I tell them that they are overthinking everything and remind them of the rules of KISS. 45 minutes of me silently waiting and an entire 4x8 whiteboard of designs, I tell them this is an entire redesign and that we will never make our end of the year deadline. PM goes silent for a minute, then responds "yeah I guess your right, let's just implement your original changes"5
Just got a whiteboard as a present from my gf. Decided to use to for flowchart, but I literally never made a flowchart. This...this doesn't seem right. Anyone got any experience with it? Where could I learn and are they actually useful?5
When the damn whiteboard is completely filled up with crap and it says "do not erase" in three different places.4
When you give a Deep Learning scientist a clean whiteboard.
This is literally 5 minutes into the second section of the class 😂😂6
This week actually. We had an Innovation Week. I was tired of waiting for the company's collaboration tech team to give us some kind of virtual whiteboard system (they also won't let us use things like Google Hangouts or Microsoft One Note, etc...so they make remote collaboration and planning almost impossible)
Anyways long story aside I proposed we make a virtual whiteboard we could host internally as a web app using STOMP over Websocket. They said "there's no way you can finish that in a week". I did.
And it came out great. It even supports pressure sensitivity and different brush textures. Everyone loves it and teams are like...wow we could use this member facing too. Had like 5 people around my desk connected to it drawing dicks for like 30 minutes. Then our boss joined remotely and saw the dicks. They laughed their ass off.
tldr; was told there was no way I would complete an ambitious innovation project...completed it with style. Damn I am good.
Definitely a blackboard or whiteboard. Definitely helps in the modularity of my code. I love it when I spend 90% of my time drawing out my idea on a blackboard, implementing it and having it be super modular.3
I used to think I was so clever by viewing the source code of websites, and would just scroll through it for fun, but what really got me started in programming was the TI-83 calculator I got in grade 10.
You couldn't view the code of most programs on that calc without a computer connection, but I managed to get my hands on the source code of something simple and learned how to prompt for values and calculate things with them. Before I knew it, I was making little programs in BASIC that did formulas for me (Area/circumference of a circle, etc.). One of my professors caught me showing my calculator to another student in class, and assumed I was being a bad student. When I said I made a program as a shortcut for one of the formulas we were learning, she tried to call my bluff and said to write the whole program on the whiteboard for the class to see. 10 minutes of writing and more than one blank stare from my classmates later, the teacher just waved me off and continued the lesson. I was chuffed :-). I made these simple programs for all my math classes throughout high school.
Unfortunately, my first year of university I took a CS course, and my teacher was probably the worst I've ever had in my life. I decided it wasn't for me, and though I did maintain my general aptitude for tech (and was still the person who fixed everyone's printers and viruses), I took a different path, eventually getting an Arts degree in Anthropology.
Where I live, the market for this is more than stale. In fact, it's completely flat, so I thought I would take a course about programming with Arduinos for fun and see if I should return to school for a different certification. It was AWESOME! I made a wireless weather station with Xbees and sensors and built my own anemometer.
I got a job at a manufacturing company, and had the fortune to build a robot which eventually made it's way to the second season of Battlebots. The level of intelligence and enthusiasm I encountered really inspired me, and now here I am at 31, halfway through a BSc in Computer Science and working for a company that makes 3D printers.
It's been a long journey, but the adventure always starts anew tomorrow.5
The story of how I got my dream job.
I was working for a company with a job I got just after graduating university. It was ok, not very exciting tech but I learned a lot by just surrounding myself with professional code monkeys. I was there for about a year when my company bought parts of another company and there was talk about people getting fired. This made me worried since I was the last one to get hired, so I started looking around for other jobs. I received this e-mail from a company saying they were looking for interns, what a coincidence! I adjusted my CV and sent it in.
--A few weeks pass--
It's Friday and I'm at a dinner party, it's 10pm and someone is calling me. I pick up and it's a recruiter from this company. I get very nervous but the alcohol helps me keep my cool, I pass the initial idiot test and they invite me for an interview. Yay!
I go to work on Monday and in a 1-on-1 and I tell my boss about the upcoming interview, he gives me a high-five :)
The interview is approaching and I'm feeling that I'm about to get sick, I refuse to believe this so I start taking a lot of medicine (painkillers, cough medicine etc.). I feel a bit better and thank the gods for medication.
I wake up, put on my nicest clothes and get on the train. I had one hour to spare just in case, which was well needed because the fucking train is late by 30 minutes. I'm still heavily medicated because of my ongoing fever. When I arrive I basically have to run there and somehow I manage to pick up a coffee on the way there which I devour in two seconds. I'm ready for the interview!
Some guy meets me in reception and the first thing he says is "My colleague doesn't speak our language so we'll have to speak english". This is fine, I speak good english but I was not prepared for this so it caught me off-guard and made me even more nervous. We get in and start talking. Things are going OK despite my numbed brain. I try to make eye-contact to make a good impression with the foreign engineer but he keeps staring somewhere which is making me nervous.
We get to the technical part on a whiteboard and this is where my brain decides to stop communicating. I'm presented a simple task which I'm struggling with finishing, and I feel the embarrassment coming over me. "NOOOOO THIS IS MY DREAM JOB, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!" I'm thinking to myself. After making myself look like a complete arsehole for some time we wrap it up and just before I step out the door I say to the engineer "You should checkout my Github page, I have lots of interesting stuff there" and he says "I'll be sure to do that" but I don't believe him.
I leave the office in fury (of myself) and make my way to the train station and even though it's the middle of the day I quickly devour two beers to calm my nerves and make me feel a bit better. I was so damn disappointed in myself, I wasted the opportunity of a lifetime! I go back home to my regular (now shitty) job.
--Two days later--
I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up the phone and it's the same recruiter guy. "So how did you think it went?" he says. "To be honest, I think it went really bad", I replied. "What? Really? Because they loved you, you got the job". (this was an obvious recruiter lie) "... wat, are you sure you called the correct person?" I said and he just laughed. The day after I quit my old job the whole department gets fired - such impeccable timing.
--A few months later--
I finish my internship and they want to keep me. I'm so happy. The engineer that was in the interview works on my team. I ask him "Why did you hire me? You know as well as I do that my interview was horrible". It turns out he _did_ look at my Github profile and that's how he knew I could write code. I also heard later that for my position there was about 2000 applicants and somehow I made the interviews.
I still work there today and I couldn't be happier (Sorry for the long text).3
When Support burst into your office to find 4 devs standing in front of a whiteboard with frustrated faces.
And still asks: "Got time for a question? this will only take a minute.."2
Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.1
This right here is all I need to remind me that I don't want to work for anyone but myself anymore. These whiteboard interviews are so pointless and stupid.
I can't pass a whiteboard interview to save my life. I did pretty well on a fizzbuzz whiteboard a few years ago but in reality in is fairly straightforward. I am interviewing right now and the more I practice and study I realize my teacher in college was right 25 years ago. I should never have become a programmer. I am a likable and fairly competent coder but I am completely overwhelmed and stressed.15
After you brainstorm on a white board, take a photo, and clean up after yourself.
Coworkers were complaining about dried white board marker.
I told them to use the hand sanitizer from the bathroom, it will clean off all marks.
Now you know too.2
Didn't have any topic for todays call with the client, so I sketched some ideas on the whiteboard.3
This wasn't an actual interview, it was a nightmare I had before an interview.
So how many whiteboards do you have at home? We are whiteboard exclusive developers. If you take this job would you like a tabletop whiteboard or a wall mounted whiteboard.1
My productivity hack? I code in the shower and use a water whiteboard. I have to be up very early and feel the most clear headed right when I wake up.
If I'm stumped on something, I can usually tackle it from a new perspective. For the most part it works out. Other then the occasional profanity if I accidentally erase something and the sometimes longer than usual showers, my wife doesn't mind. Usually because it's 5 in the morning and when she takes a shower there is this scribble that she tries to decode!1
Take a picture of sudocode, like on a whiteboard, and translate it to actual code (based on language)21
Not work, but was very pissed off anyways.
So, today my C# lecturer was teaching about escape sequences in strings. Specifically, he's showing how to escape the single quotes character ( ' ) since we're learning about how to send SQL queries as well.
He started writing on the whiteboard the following and said that this was how to escape the single quotes character in a string:
\' "abc123" \'
Me and one of my classmates looked at this and started to ask questions, since this is definitely not how you do it. Somehow, the lecturer could not understand us. We tried to explain it the best we could, starting from verbally, then writing on the whiteboard, then even showing code on a laptop. For some unknown reason the lecturer still couldn't understand where he was wrong and both of us just gave up after 15 minutes of trying to explain it.
Mind you, most of the class had little to none prior programming experience, me and said classmate are one of the few that actually programmed before, so all my other classmates were just very confused as to what is right and what is wrong.
Now I'm really questioning my lecturer's abilities....5
I have a dedicated office space at home with a huge desk that was given to me by my mom and stepdad as a gift with a really nice chair that my wife got for me. It has a nice long whiteboard to write whatever it is I am doing, a bookshelf with tons of coding books and guitar magazines and shit. A closet with good space and in a corner sits my guitar and amp.
Where can I be located during coding hours? In the floor, on the living room, using a box to put one of my laptops in.
Why am I like this?2
So, a few years ago I did an internship at this company really close to my house. It was a total disaster but a few months ago I decided to give it another shot and apply for a junior position there as I needed money and they knew me there. For some reason they hired me and now I work there for about 2 months.
There's one other developer here and my problem is that he's the senior here. Guys I don't know what to do about it, this guy is so controlling. He won't allow me to decide ANYTHING.
I have a whiteboard with all my projects and he wrote deadlines there (because his boss said he needs to set deadlines since he never finishes anything on time, but he decided to put that on me) when I finished something in time (like 3 days early!) I wanted to put that under the project on the board. But he didn't want it. No reason. Just no.
He's also constantly talking, all day long. He writes 1 or 2 functions per day. Maybe fixes a small bug. And then one day per week he actually works. Constantly complaining about me, bugging me, removing electricity from my screens, setting my wallpaper to 2 dudes kissing ect. ect. its fucking annoying me. This guy even plays video games on his nintendo or call of duty.. Working for other customers that have nothing to do with this company. And the boss thinks he's great..
So 2 days ago, the whiteboard filled with his drawings was completely emptied because of me. It felt so good, he was so angry he didn't talk all day, to no one. What else can I do guys? I can't go to my boss, the other guy in this office doesn't really care and he's on his side. But when I code I need to be able to concentrate. I can't even have a serious conversation with this guy because he just doesn't take me serious. He always thinks he's right and wants control of every little thing...
What do I do?10
Started using Trello to track project detail and overall whiteboard my project list. Made a list called "Top 5" and shared the board with my boss so her could keep track with me. After our first meeting using Trello, I walked out with 7 items in my top 5. Here's to hoping there visual aid will help him realize there's a problem.
The hardest part of starting a new project is writing the first line of code... After that, it's all down hill from there. Starting my web crawler today imitating the one @bittersweet described in his rant....I thought it was a great idea and would be a fun personal project. Now to decide on the tech stack and libraries...right now, staring at a blank whiteboard. So the ritual begins...4
Who else uses whiteboard markers on their windows for mind maps/ flow charts/general brainstorming?3
That moment when PM writes "click on learn more" on the whiteboard, but the 'c' and 'l' are too close together and it seems like one letter 😂
I just realized I do actually whiteboard. It's just that I do it on the computer using Visio...
Maybe everyone else on my team does too just they used an actual whiteboard...
Still doesn't quite explain some of the crap that shows up in the code though...8
My version of a rubber ducky
Used to be a minion painted on it, but it's long gone. So I use a whiteboard marker to draw stupid faces on it.1
Wife started to remind my of features required for next deploy. Pushes me and motivates. At this point I am afraid to use my whiteboard I use for quick tasks and feedback notes
So here's how the story goes.
I was in my academic writing class the other day and we were learning about APA formatting for our argumentative essays. We have a blackboard, whiteboard, projector connected to a pc and even a lovely projector screen to present with in the classroom.
I sit at the front right of the room. Closest to the window(it's behind me as all the desks face inwards)
Professor walks up to front of class and says we are going to learn how to format our typed essays properly.
Awesome, I thought. Pulled out my XPS laptop and fired it up. As I was making a new Word document, I hear scratching. I look up and the professor is writing with CHALK on the BLACKBOARD. I was astonished. Making matters worse, she started from the far left of the board from which the glare from the window was the greatest. I could not see anything. And from that point on I knew this class was going to be abysmal.
What was so depressing was my professor never once touched the projector. Scraping and erasing. Over and over. Couldn't see if it was a period or a comma after the first initial.
My eyes were never so dry from squinting, rolling my eyes and face-palming over and over. After an hour and 15 minute class, I was not far away from drowning my XPS in my tears.6
Several years ago, I interviewed for a popular site and it was the only one of the many interviews I did that suffer that did Google-style whiteboard problems and nobody peppered me. I didn't recall the optional way to reverse a linked list right there and then. I think I came up with the right solution and failed to communicate it well.
When we got done, I could feel their eyes trying to burn holes in me for wasting their time.2
Tldr: boss needs his priorities sorted
So as I already wrote about this issue earlier (in a comment) now it's time to actually write the rant...
I'm working between the holidays, not much just doing planning with the boss. Mind you, startup company, so limited resources and all, that's why I'm on planning as well.
So he goes to the whiteboard and draws a line in the middle, writing headings to each side: Need (Panic) and Nice (ASAP). It's starting off well.
We add about 10-ish items to each side, which is kind of okay - then he starts highlighting with different colors within the Need list saying okay, red circles we need NOW, green circles... "Now but later".
How do I not laugh? And now he wants to do even more priorities within these sections and a Soon list just as last time...
This is getting really ridiculous.
Send help (and coffee)4
I recently went to an office to open up a demat account
Manager: so your login and password will be sent to you and then once you login you'll be prompted to change the password
Me: *that's a good idea except that you're sending me the password which could be intercepted* ok
Manager: you'll also be asked to set a security question...
Me: *good step*
Manager: ...which you'll need to answer every time you want to login
Me: *lol what? Maybe that's good but kinda seems unnecessary. Instead you guys could have added two factor authentication* cool
Manager: after every month you'll have to change your password
Me : *nice* that's good
Manager: so what you can do change the password to something and then change it back to what it was. Also to remember it keep it something on your number or some date
Me: what? But why? If you suggest users to change it back to what it was then what is the point of making them change the password in the first place?
Manager: it's so that you don't have to remember so many different passwords
Me: but you don't even need to remember passwords, you can just use softwares like Kaspersky key manager where you can generate a password and use it. Also it's a bad practice if you suggest people who come here to open an account with such methods.
Manager: nothing happens, I'm myself doing that since past several years.
Me: *what a fucking buffoon* no, sir. Trust me that way it gets much easier to get access to your system/account. Also you shouldn't keep your passwords written down like that (there were some password written down on their whiteboard)
Manager: ....ok...so yeah you need sign on these papers and you'll be done
Me:(looking at his face...) Umm..ok4
Finally got my wall up to my desk in whiteboard. 4' by 8' sheets cut to fit the whole wall with a 1/8" clearance at the top. Ignore the raspberry pi, I have to set it up this way because I have no USB network adapter or long enough Ethernet cable. There should have been a magic mirror where the box is but on that specific spot in the wall the studs are only 13 1/2" instead of 14" like they should be...3
This was shit funny.
One morning, one of my colleagues got a direct call from project architect that he has to setup a meeting to explain in depth the project he has been taking care of for months and prepare a presentation and send an invite. Two weeks later we are all invited to this meeting. This colleague acting as host of this meeting prepared for few days on the PowerPoint and also a well crafted demo. Then as the architect joins, this colleague starts speaking about his role and the project. Within a minute, the architect interrupts him and says 'shut the fuck up, I don't think you are ready yet for this meeting maybe we need someone more learned...so hmm....let me explain it'. And this architect then uses his PPT for sometime and then pulls up a whiteboard and draws birds and spiders telling every time to see system in it.
My colleague is screwed to shit and is incapable to speak when closing the call.
Later ahead 4 weeks, his PPT is retouched and recoloured and attached to a Wiki page created by a unknown fucker who happens to have direct mobile calls with this architect.
Who's is faulty or not or what happened it still shocks most when this architect joins the scrum call daily. Fuck him.1
I once had a manager who demanded I physically print all of the Kanban cards and tape them to the office whiteboard. I was told to move the cards across the board after they were moved in TFS. I still had to keep up with my other duties in the QA department too!
Despite that, I still stayed on board with the company (the pay was good, and the work was simple.) As a QA teeter, I uncovered a rather nasty security vulnerability that would have put all of our customers data at reach to anybody. I advised my manager, and was told - just ignore it and ship the code please. I refused.
I was threatened with being fired, verbally assaulted, and challenged at the most trivial ways in everything I did after that.
Jokes on him now. I work from home in my dream job, doing what I love, with a manager who actually gives a rats ass about my concerns.
Moral of the story here - you don't have to agree with your subordinates , but you do need to validate their concerns.4
Had an interview the other day for a fullstack role. They told me I'd have to whiteboard stuff, of course. No big deal.
They had me whiteboard css though. Totally off guard. Pretty sure I got it, but WTF. Is this normal?5
Every day I try to show something new or cool to the people in my team. Not with the purpose of using it, more like to show them the current state of options and cool things to study. Yesterday it was clojure and clojurescript as well as regent. Which even tho I am not a master or even proficient at either....well I just wanted to show them. Lisp is very whiteboard friendly, so after I finished writing shit on the board this was the lead developer's reaction:
Lol this is fun.2
A whole week for "a new ecommerce system" delivered shortly after the MD declare how simple it would be with some hybrid pseudo code/flow chart on their magic whiteboard.
Words were had.
christmas wishlist????? dont give me some of those cute crap, what i really need:
- my other breadboard
- 2TB HDD!!! pls i need to degoogle my life
- wirerap cables
- a new laptop with gr8 specs, good for both programming and gaming pls
- a big whiteboard for my overflowing ideas
id rather have something useful than the usual stuff people give as gifts xd3
Possible answers you'll see:
Had a nightmare last night where I was called in to do a coding challenge against two other people...on a whiteboard only and no Google or StackOverflow. I couldn't even get one line of code written. The other two guys got a bunch. Too bad one of my real life projects has a lot in common with this nightmare.
- 4+ years of experience
- Great Portfolio
- Great Github profile
- Worked at some succesful startups.
- Uhmm sorry we can't hire you for this frontend job because you couldn't complete this whiteboard bubble sort test in c++.4
I start by diving straight into the code. A blank brand new file in whatever language I have chosen to create my project in. If it's a language I'm unfamiliar with, I'll start with some templates of getting started (for example, I wanted to make a node.js application with a connected website, so I found some code using express to link the two together).
Once I've started, I'll eventually create a text file for ideas which I may or may not plan to implement later. If a particular feature is rather complex, I'll draw it out on my whiteboard, giving me a visual guide to help me.
My main aim is to simply get a "foot in the door"; once that's achieved, it makes working on the project much more enjoyable. I tend to turn it into a bit of "play" by coming up with suggestions which I would probably not implement in my final design, but add just for the fun of it. If I chose to drop those ideas, I'll save the code - chances are, I would have learnt something new in the process (For example, I learnt how to perform GET requests and figured out what cURL was for the first time by simply adding a "dad joke generator" to a discord bot, just for a laugh)
What's better for finding candidates for a development role: having the candidate solve a complex whiteboard problem or have the candidate refactor some code (maybe a couple of small modules) while explaining as he/she goes through each step?
I personally feel both are good, but I think refactoring is a very much needed skill when you're dealing with the complexity of millions and millions lines of code, so being able to change your inital design to make it more readable and flexible later on is crucial. And refactoring usually goes hand and hand with having tests in place.
An interesting exercise would be to give the candidate a test suite with the corresponding code that's tested in a working state and let the candidate decide how much refactoring needs to be done. In the process the candidate would need to break and fix tests of course while changing things... it'll give a good measure of their ability to take code and change it to a "better" state of design and flexiblity.
On the other hand I do think there is a place for cliche white boarding problems because it really shows one willingness to tackle complex problems which do arise in most development jobs. Asking the questions and being persistent goes along way and can really help when you're collaborating with other developers to solve an issue at hand.
Overall I think there should be a white board problem, but I don't think that should be the deciding factor. Rather couple it with other very practical skills you should have as a developer already; among those being refactoring.1
I love my peel and stick whiteboard 😍 just planned out my code for tomorrow.
I'm not an ad! Don't smite me!
Writing my master thesis at my company, theoretical computer science, doing fancy shit with scheduling rules. but am just a "working student".
Realized, that all my project member, also other colleagues, standing right behind me at a Whiteboard, discussing that part of the project I am the expert of, as this exactly is my topic.
They were asking very new team member about my topic, but they know nothing, just guessing how this could be.
Nobody did even think about asking me.
So I continued working on what they thought "nobody has knowledge about at all".
Carpel Tunnel has actually made me a far better programmer.
While I've had to cut down on how much I program, I have instead started writing the first draft of any program on the whiteboard and manually debugging it.
Also got my dream internship because it made me far better at coding interviews!1
Just got whiteboard paint at work. It's called smart paint...how? How is it smart? Stop this idiocy of calling everything smart. Next marketing idiot coming up with that term for no good reason is getting a smart fist in the face3
My manager was asking for a whiteboard cleaner(duster as we call it). He said ‘duster’ and put his right hand in forth of me. He was obviously expecting me to offer him the duster. I thought he wants to shake hands. And we shook hands..
hope he didn’t realise what was going on. I was not drunk at that time. But just a bit hangover.2
I've heard all kinds of arguments for about how whiteboard coding interviews should be obsolete, and that they usually doesn't reflect how good you are as a developer. But I've been polishing my skills with data structures and algorithms for a few weeks (learning this stuff for the second time since years ago in college) and I get this feeling that I'm becoming a much better programmer by practicing these things. And having access to all these things in the "working memory" of my brain has made me now think of solutions I couldn't before. But then - it may be that right now I'm working on embedded systems so this efficiency matters much more, earlier while doing full stack web development I didn't care about these much except while playing with strings maybe. So it might be dependent on your niche. What do you guys think?3
@Work: Every new project, we need a new server for CI/CD...
Whiteboard + bets on how many weeks it will take to get some servers provided.
Currently feeling like I wont get anything done without visualizing it on a whiteboard... What a nice day...
Well at home I have a whiteboard and on that white board I make a list of things I want the code to do, don't do, and any ideas possible to emulate then I grab a cup of coffee turn on some music and start
When did you use i++ and j++ in real world? I couldn't answer a algorithm question on whiteboard that day during interview.4
A whiteboard and another Dev to bounce ideas off. The problem we have is finding a clear whiteboard.