Fuck you dickhead. If you don't like how I'm doing things, just fucking do them yourself. Or how about you give me some specifications, designs, a consistent database model? No? Fine, then don't fucking complain when I make do with what I have.

"Don't worry about testing too much, push it to production asap"

❤️

Worst 'advice' from a college recruiter:

"O you want to major in computer science? Well our school is fantastic for women in comp sci because WHEN they find it too difficult they can easily transition to graphic design. How do you feel about graphic design?"

I decided that school was a bad choice.

Graduating this year with my BS in Comp Sci and going for my Masters in Robotics. Screw that guy.

*Dev in his 40's from our counter-part office.

Me: Here's my SSH keys.

Dev: What's this?

Me: SSH keys. Give me access to the repository.

Dev: We don't use any version control here. Let's just use FTP or Remote Desktop and just download the codes.

Don't get into tech. Go into dancing or modeling.

I was working on a very database heavy PHP app about six months ago. All database access was done directly, with hardcoded SQL strings.
I'd suggested switching over to an ORM during the upcoming major verson's rewrite, and FINALLY got approval to start integrating one.
The next week I'm told that I need to trash all the code I'd just written, since the decision to use an orm has been reversed.

The rationale? According to management, ORMs aren't "scalable enough for our application" and would "reduce developer productivity". I pointed out that we would be processing ~10 concurrent operations, maximum; I was told that the technically details didn't matter and the person I was working under had the final say because they'd worked at IBM, briefly, as an intern.

I stopped working on that project about two weeks later, thankfully.

I don't know why it gives you that, just force push ...

When new junior front-end tells you he doesn't need to know javascript since he already knows angular.

LOL :D

Found this gem in our code

My girlfriend got bitten by a mosquito and kept scratching it.
After I complained about the size of the bite, she said "c'mon it's just a bit, not big enough to be a byte".
When I finished facepalming (it took a while), I realized how proud I am of her.

What's the best thing thing about UDP jokes?

I don't care if you get them.

Company email sent around last night that 'for security' we need to use the latest software, fine. But we are also told only to develop in Edge as it's the newest and most secure browser, therefore is the only one we can use. There no way I'm using Edge to develop.

Fuck you, Mr Consultant, you've taken the company for a ride.

devRant_swear_count++;

(last commit to readme.md 1 year ago)

- initial commit

This dude nailed description 🙌🏼

devRant should make their own version of Tinder. All this lonely devs could really use a partner to cheer up their life 😄

I guess unix was made by pervs as I have to command it to Touch, Finger, Unzip, Strip, Mount, Fsck, Unmount and Sleep

Sometimes it really is important.

Me: *click click click click*

Girlfriend: Do you have to be so loud when you're typing?!

Me: probably not *CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK*

//Gonna see how far this goes... Buying a mechanical keyboard on my break :D

How I feel every time...

Angular2 update breaks current build. Again.

PAYDAYYYYYYY

1.5 hours of UI and performance enhancements for the UWP app on Windows Phone, and guess what greets me when I plug it in.
//kill me
//yes I restarted both