Details
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SkillsSwift + cocoa
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Github
Joined devRant on 5/27/2016
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1996, my colleagues trying to port Chorus microkernel on Cray supercomputer. System crashes every ~5 days with no apparent reason. After weeks of investigation someone notices one of the network cables slightly longer than others ... after ~5 days and speed of light the Cray would miss a clock tick and crashes. Replaced network cable and it works fine!
Don't mess with supercomputers ...2 -
- What did a Java static method accused of criminal possession of a weapon said in his deffense?
- "THIS does not belong to me!"1 -
Irony is when I just interviewed a person in my current workplace right after giving an interview for a new job in another place1
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Oh my god my iMac has been decompressing that bloody Xcode_8_beta.xip file for over 45 minutes, why the fuck it taking so long?2
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“Hi, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.”
“Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?”
“Yes, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.”
“Ok, I’ll tell you a TCP joke.”
...3 -
And, the other side, husbands 😂
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Dear Technical Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. The new program also began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: ” C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support3