Got me thinking..

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

I spent yesterday refactoring a JavaScript file and it was so fucking bad that I wasn't containing my frustration to the point it git blamed it to make sure I wasn't "wtfing" my boss's code, I wasn't so I went on a rampage.

Anyone who looked at me yesterday would see a pissed off dev with the highest rate of wtf/minute to the screen gesturing and force palming constantly.

I'm a back end dev.
I made a front end code have 90% (?!?!?!) less code, more readable and I can say for sure 10x faster.

There was a fucking setTimeout() with 5 seconds delay to do something that doesn't even need to wait...

Fuck this shit lol.

I swear to God, if I see one more vim joke I'm going to :x life

JavaScript...

A recruiter just sent me a position which required 10+ year experience on ReactJS. So, should I reply "Good luck."?

Yes! Haven't even graduated yet, and just got hired as Junior Developer - score!

Every single time!

*while still in bed, watches couple of videos of Google presenting flutter and building apps in less than 30 minutes*

*this is freaking interesting*

*gets out of bed, opens Firefox and types: " learn React native", installs VSC, npm ....*

I don't understand how my brains works 😒

git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit

Day 2 of debugging: I have more bugs now than I originally started with

Someday my GitHub will look like this as well.

Every hobby project I work on.

That could possibly work 😂😂😂

I love linux!

My code is reviewed twice, once by the team leader, and once by a tech lead.
One told me to move a const from file a to file b, so I did. The other told me to move it from b to a.
I really don't care, so now they are behind me duking it out :)

Teacher: "Whats that key thingy?"
Class: "You mean the keyboard?"
Teacher: "Yes, that one!"

I shit you not, she was my IT educator for a year.
Send help.

To the person who architected a system where business logic is encoded to XML within CDATA sections within other XML data inside a 10000 line file that also describes the presentation of this same data:

I hope you meet a violent death. Your suffering should be equal to what developers who had to deal with your perverted shit experienced.

Motherfucker.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

I think CS education is getting weaker and weaker every year.
Since they released CS GO, CS seems to be overtaken by little cry kiddies who put out insults like an AK on speed.
I wish CS education was like when CS 1.6 came out.
Those were great years to learn gungames on The Simpsons maps and you were actually able to land headshots by skill and not just utter luck.

No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Steam knows I will be buying a game tomorrow.

Next thing we know, the robots have taken over our civilization.