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Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?
Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses18 -
If you're going to ask for my help
... and then do the opposite of everything i say
... and then complain when things don't work
... and continue to ignore everything i say
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF8 -
Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.
Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.
Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.
“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.9 -
Internet... ..
Googles how to fix the notification delay.
1 hr later.........
At YouTube looking at a video of how to give mouth to mouth to a fish 😮6 -
Boss: When will the website be ready?
Me: Um, maximum by Tuesday
*Boss comes back Tuesday*
Boss: Ok, show me the website...
Me: ....
Boss: ....
Me: I didn't say which Tuesday....2 -
How do mobile sites know when I'm about to tap a link, and then load something and shift everything so that I tap the wrong link?9
-
- Which operating system do you have? Windows?
- Nah, I have LibrOffice
- ...
If you weren't my sister I would have slapped you.10 -
Client: so how could we test this 😬
Me: you know what, send me an email at linuxxx@companyname.com and I can look if I can properly reply! Keep in mind though that this is for one time only, no further questions through that email address!
Client: Yes of course! *sends email*
Me: *tests* - *works fine* - *messages client back through the ticket system*
Client: *proceeds to send two follow up questions to my fucking work email address*
Me: *selects emails* - *marks emails as spam and deletes them*
Fucking seriously?! Cunt.18 -
New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.9 -
Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳7 -
!rant
I was in a hostel in my high school days.. I was studying commerce back then. Hostel days were the first time I ever used Wi-Fi. But it sucked big time. I'm barely got 5-10Kbps. It was mainly due to overcrowding and download accelerators.
So, I decided to do something about it. After doing some research, I discovered NetCut. And it did help me for my purposes to some extent. But it wasn't enough. I soon discovered that my floor shared the bandwidth with another floor in the hostel, and the only way I could get the 1Mbps was to go to that floor and use NetCut. That was riskier and I was lazy enough to convince myself look for a better solution rather than go to that floor every time I wanted to download something.
My hostel used Netgear's routers back then. I decided to find some way to get into those. I tried the default "admin" and "password", but my hostel's network admin knew better than that. I didn't give up. After searching all night (literally) about how to get into that router, I stumbled upon a blog that gave a brief info about "telnetenable" utility which could be used to access the router from command line. At that time, I knew nothing about telnet or command line. In the beginning I just couldn't get it to work. Then I figured I had to enable telnet from Windows settings. I did that and got a step further. I was now able to get into the router's shell by using default superuser login. But I didn’t know how to get the web access credentials from there. After googling some and a bit of trial and error, I got comfortable using cd, ls and cat commands. I hoped that some file in the router would have the web access credentials stored in cleartext. I spent the next hour just using cat to read every file. Luckily, I stumbled upon NVRAM which is used to store all config details of router. I went through all the output from cat (it was a lot of output) and discovered http_user and http_passwd. I tried that in the web interface and when it worked, my happiness knew no bounds. I literally ran across the floor screaming and shouting.
I knew nothing about hiding my tracks and soon my hostel’s admin found out I was tampering with the router's settings. But I was more than happy to share my discovery with him.
This experience planted a seed inside me and I went on to become the admin next year and eventually switch careers.
So that’s the story of how I met bash.
Thanks for reading!10 -
My CS professor just told my class of 200 people that 1 is a prime number.
You can practically hear centuries of mathematicians rolling over in their graves7 -
Last year I got an Acer notebook from a guy that stated that "it isn't working". "Okay" I thought, let's boot it up.
> Screen turns on, no splash screen, no hard drive activity
> Well fuck
> Tries to enter BIOS, nothing
> Openes case to reset CMOS
> Nothing
> Okay I think I need to flash a new BIOS
> Acer support site
> "Download the exe to flash the BIOS"
> What
> Spend two hours researching
> Find out that you can flash via USB and by pressing a key combination
> Extract the BIOS binary from the exe file
> Flash it on the notebook
> Splash screen and working BIOS
> Yay!!!
> No bootable devices found
> Fuck
> Connects hdd with test bench
> Completely fucking dead
> WTF
> Order a new hard drive
> 3 days later
> Install hdd
> Install Windows
> Finally working
WTF did you do to this notebook to not only mechanically break your hdd but also fuck up the BIOS completely??!!14 -
So I'm learning 2D game dev in java.
(I know)
Being stubborn I'm coding everything myself because, you know who needs libraries.😅
And
Holy toenails ,I have mad respect for the guys who build game engines. Especially 3d engines.
Y'all are beasts.28 -
While I'm in pause time with my colleagues and reading on wiki how, the boss comes to me and asks:
Boss: what are you reading?
Me: how to Quit Your Job Graciously 😊
Boss: 😐
The next day the boss offered me a +€0,50 p/hour.3 -
Dear Android:
I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.
But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.
But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!
If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?24 -
When you drink a little too much and wake up to find you wrote a program called baconTranslator that translates everything you type to 'I love bacon"...10
-
Tester: I'm going to start testing your Android code. How do I set up it?
Me: just bring me an Android test device and I'll show you
Tester: *comes back holding a big golden phone*
Me: *huh? Haven't seen that Android device before... I wonder which manufacturer made it*
Tester: *puts down golden phone on my desk* here you go!
Me: 😱😱😱😱
...
HUH? This is an iPhone!!!!
😩😱😧😖😰😫😵😱😱5 -
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
Fuck y'all4 -
I've got a mini stroke today. My project ended and I got delegated elsewhere.
"It's going to be fine, it's c++, you will find yourself there"
Suspicious, it's a project everybody was staying out of as hard as they can. But hey, it's cool, how bad can it be? what can go wrong with that?
Reality was brutal, project that uses Boost C++ as framework and bjam as builder. Builds with a decent dose of luck, and only under special circumstances, only under one specific version of compiler. No docs, quartet of the code is in Fortran, just to use ancient lisp part which was second qarter. The most senior Dev around does not have idea how it all works. Also everything is inside one enormous try/catch block. Because of the reasons.
That's how people end up with severe alcoholism and meth addiction.8 -
OK! all you windows haters.
This is why i totally love windows to death.
it has awesome features no other OS has...
like, installing updates to office and Skype when they are not even installed, there's not even a registry entry anywhere for them!!
now show me another OS that updates non existing software and ill be all over it!
On a serious note, does anyone know how windows would think office and Skype are installed since I can’t find a single trace of them anywhere?
26 -
I was almost finished a website when the client changed their mind and decided that what they actually wanted was an app for Android and iOS because that's apparently what I promised them.
I double-checked the contract to make sure. It said I was building them a website that would be tested for mobile-friendliness on browsers from phones using Android and iOS. :/3 -
This is an old screen that I took some years ago and never had a good place to share...
Hope this helps someone to choose the right language :D
https://postimg.org/image/454565eej
10 -
If I keep ignoring issues they'll eventually overflow and I'll have a negative amount of bugs, right?4
-
Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.
Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:
ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.
How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.
I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.
How. In. The. Living. Hell.12 -
Stupid bloody PM.
I asked him for two images a long time ago: a 1x and a 2x ‘0’ monogram for Apple wallets, since we currently have monograms for glyphs 1-9 and a-z. And this is in production, so any merchant whose name starts with a ‘0’ will cause a crash. We’ve been fortunate thus far.
But this PM. He lied about who needed to make the images for three weeks, saying it’s up to the designer, when he actually made them himself. He also said he was going to take care of handing the task off, and never did, and then said designer when on FTO. When I asked the designer about it after he came back, he had no clue what graphics (and even the feature) I was talking about, or even what the requirements for the graphics might be. I had to confront the PM before he admitted he made the originals, and (begrudgingly) said he would make the new ones.
When said PM did finally make the images, the colors were all wrong. They’re not the light teal from our branding, they’re dark blue and the font is different, making them pretty ugly.
Also, after assuring me that the naming convention for the new images is the same, I discover that they’re neither organized into folders nor even named properly. (And yes, he is aware of how it should be.) I can rename and move them around easily enough, but come on, don’t say you did the work and then give me a mess to clean up!
And to top it all off, he completely spaced making the ‘u’ monograms, so I’m still short a fucking glyph!
Asdfjskldf.
How do you do every single thing wrong? Like, how!?2 -
That moment when your game appears on some Formula 1 Hungarian website and your server's network transfer is gone from 10 GB left to 2 GB left in just 2 days... But still - I'm proud of myself
http://formula.hu/parc-ferme/16549
10 -
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 35. One to actually change the bulb and 34 to say after the fact, "I could have done that better."11 -
Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: What? No ways!!
Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: Hell ya !! 😘
.
.
.
Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓5 -
I swear to god, I'm going to track down the dipshit who just made my day hilariously painful.
So here I am, finishing up this project that's been going on for what feels like an eternity, when I get an email "why doesn't order X show up in this other system?".
I mean, it's a common thing they can take 15 minutes to push across, so the usual quick glance and what do you know, it's just sitting there as if it's waiting to be pushed through, than an hour later... it's still there, so I start digging, maybe a data issue, nope looks all good, customer details, payment details, products...
just another order, jump on the logs and all looks fi......... wait.... why does this postcode have 3 digits and not 4 , Australia has 4 digit postal codes fyi, looks at order again, 3 digits, look at log, 3....hold on why's it only 3 digits, checks code, handled as string... ok..... where the fuck would it drop a digit.... frontend requires 4 digits, validation requires 4 digits... how the fuck did you get 3 digits in... I can't see anything anywhere that logically makes sense for this🤔
Drops address into google and it's a postcode starting with 0.
Jumps on DB and the fucker is an int in the postcode table. For all you playing at home 0123 <> 123
I don't know if I should feel bad, or impressed, it's been 7 years since this table was created, and 7 years before someone managed to live in one of these parts of the country with a leading 0.
QA didn't spot this years ago,
No one tested this exact scenario,
The damn thing isn't even documented as a required delivery area, but here we are!
Kudos good sir, you broke it! 🤜 🤛
You sir may get your order now!11 -
The worst feeling is writing so many lines of code knowing you could do it in a more concise way if you just had time to think about it but you don't.1
-
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.
A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).
So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.
I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.
I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.
How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.11 -
I was searching through StackOverflow when I found this guy:
He is using a "dot operator" in LINQ at the end of the Query
Example:
a.Where().
Select();
Not
a.Where()
.Select();
How barbaric2 -
Recently I came upon this:
*image attached*
It's a guide of how to speak in a programer's language🧐.
3 -
!rant
Boss challenged me to get something done before a demo and he'd give me tomorrow off paid. I completed the task on the time and at the end of the day told him I was leaving for another position. He was totally calm, cool, professional and still gave me tomorrow off paid. I don't know how that happened. Life is good.4 -
How to make Xcode crash:
1. type: self.btn
2. Profit!
I need to add this on my CV as an expert in making xcode crash, not implying that Xcode is a shit IDE !!6 -
April fools day prank idea:
1. Replace all semicolons with Greek question marks
2. Add a Gradle task that automatically fixes the semicolons, but only when run on the build servers
3. Watch as people get confused because the code builds in the server but not locally3 -
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.
Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...13 -
Systemd, I fucking love you. When a service crashes, let's just keep it turned off, don't restart it on your own, no need for that. That's what statefulness means, right Poettering? Such an amazing init, well worth the quarter GB of code or however much it is now. And yes I know that the unit files can be edited to achieve that. But seriously, should I really have to do that for each individual service on each individual box, because systemd can't do it on its own?
That feeling when an init system is (relatively) decent at doing everything else it absorbed into itself, yet fucking sucks at being.. a goddamn init. Good game Poettering. Such an amazing init system you wrote there. God fucking dammit man.. how hard can it be? There's OpenRC and BSD's /etc/rc.conf which are literally mere kilobytes of scripts and they do both statefulness and parallelization (in case of OpenRC anyway) *excellently*. Yet systemd can't even do that much? Awesome. Great init. I love it.
Come fucking on man...
20 -
Rant, but also want to know, how the fuck do you accidentally drop a database link. In production. On the most important database. Housing our biggest applications.8
-
WHAT THE FUCK? IS THIS REAL?
I got a call from a managment institute asking me if I have any MBA plans after graduation.
I said no and asked the person where did he get my number.
He said: Google
Like how? How does this even work? HOW?23 -
There are two records in this table.
I can confirm that the second one is currently being pulled.
One of the values I see getting pulled is different than either two of the records.
😶6 -
You wanted to hear more about my "glorious" teacher. I deliver. So get a cup of tea, take a seat and prepare for insanity.
As I already told in a comment my programming teacher is one special snowflake who lives in his personal bubble. We have final exams in less than a month and he spents at least half a lesson talking about vanishing bees and missing plants from his garden. Other topics he likes to talk about (and tries to turn every freaking conversation into at least one of these):
1. Other students and their stupidity
2. Diesel scandal
3. His sick wife
4. "Why does noone read newspapers anymore?"
5. Why he can't teach Java but really really really wants to and everyone hates him and forces him to do C#.
Even if I try to interrupt him he'll go on until he thinks we gained some "common knowledge" - this is how he justifies these topics.
Everytime he introduced us to a new command he compared it to Java and sometimes he even falsely corrects code because he confuses them.
We are only 6 people including me (another story for another time) and he is not able to help everyone during a 90min lesson. He normally sticks with one person for at least one hour and just talks to them or even do their tasks. This is really annoying if you have a simple question. He won't answer you until he's finished whatever he's doing.
Most of the time he doesn't seem to understand what he's talking about/trying to teach us. He's muttering statements from our textbook to himself switching halfway through to another sentence while drawing not decipherable shit on the blackboard.
Another gem are his "guidelines" for classtests. We are allowed to use any command we know. Except the ones we learned not in class. And the ones he doesn't like. And the ones he doesn't want to exist. And of course not the ones which make you're life easier. So basically we are bound to use his favourite commands or we won't get a good grade. Example: use an array. List is not allowed. Never.
He has some weird fetish with arrays.
I once presented him perfectly fine code I wrote in my freetime and asked what some warnings meant. (Was because of different Visual studio versions as I learned later.) He scolded me for using things he didn't taught us yet and ranted about how I'm pressuring him into rushing these things now - I never wanted to show this to my classmates nor was this anything else than a project for fun and learning something new. (FYI the "new stuff" where classes and objects because i was tired of kilometers of spaghetti code). His rant went on a good 20minutes and - obviously - he didn't answer my question. I asked my fiance that evening and he explained it to me.
This should it be for this time. I'm sure I have more stories to tell for another time!
Thank you for reading. ^^5 -
It blows my mind that Google, advertisers, and a lot of companies seem to not understand the concept of a need fulfilled.
Google news: If you notify me of an article, and then I click on that notification, you can assume I read it. And you can also assume that I don't wish to read it again 2hrs later! So stop notifying me!!!
Amazon, AdSense, Facebook, everyone else: just because I bought new headphones, doesn't mean I wanna see ads for headphones. Actually it means the exact opposite. I don't want new headphones. I literally just bought some. And I especially don't want the exact same ones. I already have them.
Somehow, the targeted ads are worse than random. That's annoying.
How is this hard?11 -
Learning a new programming language:
1. reading basics
2. creates small programs
3. plan new projects
4. search everything else in the internet
5. output: we have become code gods
*winks at stack overflow and github*5 -
Wtf!
0. My name is not Den
1. I never registered an account at Wallmart
2. I don't live in the USA
3. How the fuck did my e-mail end up in their DB
18 -
After months of hard work, we finally released our product. Only for the PM to send this out as the announcement email..
3 -
Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test
Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.
Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.2 -
Fuck Swift is garbage. 😡
How did such a promising language turn into such a steaming 💩??
This may be controversial but I think open-sourcing it may have been a huge mistake.19 -
Can I just say that the absolute most important skill for any kind of programmer or engineer is knowing HOW TO FUCKING GOOGLE!!!
<Background>
I am the head of programing on my school's Robotics Team. We're relatively know, however most all of my teammates know how to program and they are all very talented academically. In fact my "Lieutenant" will be the valedictorian.
</Background>
Seriously I missed one meeting yesterday because of the flu. Imagine me lying in bed and suddenly getting multiple calls from the team (even the valedictorian) asking how to fix errors from Android Studio. I asked them if they googled them and they said "No we didn't".
Why is knowing how to google not apart of any kind of CS education! They could have been after an hour, but NOOO it took them after 5 hours!!
Oh my FUCKING GOD!!5 -
Me: can you add x to y?
Dev: sure mate, done tomorrow
Me: kay thx
Next day:
Dev: ok I added x to z! There you go
Me: infinite facepalm4 -
Fuck I wish designers learnt colour theory before presenting me with a light colour to go on a white background. Like fuck? It’s not even grey at least.
And the complimentary colours are so shit I think I’ll go throw up after an Indian dinner and colour pick from that mess instead. (I like Indian food ok...)
How hard is it to go, NOPE that’s a shit colour we probably shouldn’t use that????4 -
I've run into problems with the app I'm working on, the problems are related to issues regarding code.
No in fact it's related the last guy who wrote the app, the code has no comments and the variable names make no sense, the only comments in the code are blocks of code... With no reason as to why it was commented.
I have to add in some checks to determine if a person that has logged in is a full member or not (full member has access to the feature I've added) and the way the guy has made this app works makes no sense to me at all.
I've tried my best to avoid all contact with his code because it makes me want to yell out in frustration.
But for this one case I have to work with what's there.
I know I've mentioned this before but I've hit my limit yet again.
And for those who don't know this guy managed to scrape together skeleton code from two apps to make part of this app, rather than using parts of the other apps he left out code that was specifically made for the other apps, (majority of the commented out code).
One app was a taxi app and from the looks of it the feature he used was to get GPS location (which I don't understand before Google maps is a think after all... The taxi app USES Google maps), the other app is some sort of funeral webcasting app (I found code imports for it, without any actual code).
I don't actual understand how this guy could put this together without not thinking "maybe this is a bad idea"
Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live
I'm that psychopath right now..... Fuck that guy (don't know where he lives though)1 -
Customer: Do you need my computer password?
Me: Yes, I do. Why don't you write it down for me? *fills out work order form while she writes down her password*
Customer: Here you go *slides me sticky note with password on it*
Me: *usual spiel about computer repair stuff*
Customer: *leaves*
Me: *to Coworker* So this lady's password is "AmishForLife* (modified for security purposes).
Coworker: On her iPad?!
Me: And her computer, yes
Coworker: *laughs*
Me: I wonder how well that's working out for her... -
You ever read up an old post on devrant and you see users replying back to comments that no longer exist?
@s without an underline, half baked stories without a context.
Amusing.
Confusing.
Voids in a crowd.2 -
This rant affects me indirectly.
It was our diploma project, me, and DrugKidProgrammer.
He was lazy, late, and all the shit that comes with and used to party hard on weekend.
I told him that while on vacation he’d better fucking manage to get the backend done, or at least ready to debug.
Guess what?
Guy was on alcohol and probably on lsd for most period of vacation and he managed to write the PHP files... with Javascript syntax.
Well, actually it was mixed.
When he came back he gave me the files he worked on (no version control at the time), and nothing was working, 500 errors everywhere. When I opened the files I found out String concaténations using ‘+’ and shit like this.
I spend 1 and a half day correcting this shit.
Fuck you mate.2 -
I got a magical IR remote!
When i press and hold that button to dim down my RGB LED strip, my Bluetooth speaker turns on!
7 -
WTF is this bullshit?!! I set an alarm on my phone for 9:00 and 9:15 just in case... The alarms went off at 10:00 and 10:15, now I am an hour late for work. Just how does that even work?!!! Yeah, time changes but you don't change the fucking alarm Huawei! FFS... I really don't look forward to explaining this...
Also.. devRant on mobile seems to be broken? :( @dfox15 -
"I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing it out"
Yes, and I'm going to point out that you're throwing insults around like a maniac, which makes your "opinion" seem emptier and emptier, until it resembles your cerebral matter as if it was a shadow copy of it. Fuck you.1 -
"You should record video tutorials of how to do stuff", people say to me.
#1 - I suck on camera. I have a really annoying nasally voice that I just can't stand to hear in my own head, let alone on video.
#2 - I look like every stupid a--hole fat old ugly white guy people love to hate. Nobody wants to see that.
#3 - I suck at remembering what the f$$# I was going to say to begin the video, to show the thing I was going to show, and how to end it without sounding like a complete #@#%@# moron.
#4 - %@%$#@ QuickTime! And any other video screen recording software that NEVER $%#@#$% WORKS for me!! I'll be in the middle of a very complex process I'm demonstrating and BAM! The whole recording crashes. Six takes and six more crashes later and I'm @#%#@# done with trying to do this #@$@#%.
Screenshots and text it is and always will be.9 -
Why do people jump from c to python quickly. And all are about machine learning. Free days back my cousin asked me for books to learn python.
Trust me you have to learn c before python. People struggle going from python to c. But no ml, scripting,
And most importantly software engineering wtf?
Software engineering is how to run projects and it is compulsory to learn python and no mention of got it any other vcs, wtf?
What the hell is that type of college. Trust me I am no way saying python is weak, but for learning purpose the depth of language and concepts like pass by reference, memory leaks, pointers.
And learning algorithms, data structures, is more important than machine learning, trust me if you cannot model the data, get proper training data, testing data then you will get screewed up outputs. And then again every one who hype these kinds of stuff also think that ml with 100% accuracy is greater than 90% and overfit the data, test the model on training data. And mostly the will learn in college will be by hearting few formulas, that's it.
Learn a language (concepts in language) like then you will most languages are easy.
Cool cs programmer are born today😖
31 -
So Microsoft removed the transparency Aero Glass effect going from Windows 7 to 10, to make 10 more "modern", even though 7 was pretty as fuck with that transparency.
Now they're bringing it back with their wanky "acrylic" blur?
Make up your mind Microsoft7 -
Anyone advice on how one could achieve a high upload 'rate' with a seedbox seeding Linux iso's?
It seeding more than 10 iso's but the overall up speed is 10kbs .____.11 -
I'm really trying to give js a chance. I really wanna get this front end done. But this is just Bullshit.
23 -
!rant
As a self taught, I used to break what i want to learn into pieces and watch tutorials where people use these pieces. Then I could easily do what I learned, but I could do it exactly how I learned it from the tutorials.
Until one glorious day I found a tutorial about js that doesnt teach you the "how" of things but the "why" of things.
I cant describe how easy and in depth I understand js tutorials now. It is easier even when I have to learn a new framework.
It feels like I fast-forwarded my knowledge growth overnight.
I now see my 3 weeks old code and it disgusts me.6 -
About to post my first question on SO.
Wish me luck.
How should I word a question without getting downvoted into Oblivion.
(Fucking polymer)8 -
so I had a very important video conference for some rather large cloud infrastructure that Im engineering. I decide to look "smart" so i decided to wear a jersey during the video call. I aced the meeting, happy people all round. I walk to my room and my wife says "you do know your jersey is inside out...and back to front..and the label is sticking out from under your chin....How did the meeting go?" me:"..fine until you pointed out a look like a 2 year old dressed me !" ... well thats one way to kill the happy feels!3
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You stupid lousy price of potato shit windows, yes that’s right - this pissed of windows user is pissed the fuck right off.
Here I am letting you sit there idling along and then I press the start button, you know that fucking button I press regularly for fucking years, only for you to go “fuck you, I’m going to blue screen instead” like what the flying fuck? There hasn’t been any updates in a while that I’ve noticed but this shit is just a shit.
So what ever, let’s reboot this mother fucker, oh wait now you can’t fucking boot, I can hear the hdd spinning a million miles an hour (coz non ssd) but noooo your just going to sit there like a dumb ass prick who doesn’t know what the fuck your doing.
So fine, let’s pull out that old USB with w10 on it and do a MBR repair... (coz nothing else will fucking work in your shit list of options) ok so apparently an MBR repair gets you booting.. but wait there’s more, now you useless piece of shit are going to run a scan disk which has sat at 0% for the past 20 minutes and I don’t think I’m ever going to see that fucker move, I get it you want to do something useful, but Fucking Do it already!
Like wtf, how does a stable system just decide to shit itself.
Oh and before you say it.. no I can’t install Linux on this piece of shit, see my previous rants for that problem.6 -
I don't get people..
He is a good person and and realy tries..
Tries what?! To annoy coworkers that have to fix every single thing he does?!
Some people will justify anything with 'he is a nice person and tries hard'. WTF?!
So if someone is a nice person, likes to talk a lot, has 'good' social skills but writes crappy code he doesn't test at all.. or tests and see that it's glitchy and still doesn't fix it.. so he is a good worker for that?! Dafaq?!
So if he is a 'lovable' person, he deserves to be here, doing more damage than helps.. he deserves to have a job, with same pay (or even more) than me?! WTF?! How?!
Why is this ok?! If we were heart surgeons and he killed a person or two due to lack of skills or negligence, what would happen?!
He'd get fired on spot!! Why can't it be the same with devs?!
Why on fucking earth do we need to put up with people who try their best and fail?! Especially if their best is lowest of all, lower than the 'I don't give a fuck, just doing sth so the boss stops nagging'?!
Fuuuuuuuu!!!!
But ok, some people are not cut out for some work, I get it.. but why the fuck do other people justify that with 'he tries'?! Dafaq?!
Maybe next time 'I'll try' to perfom brain surgery on you..and you'll end up a fuckin plant.. is that ok with you?! I'll be trying (not really) and do my best (well I will try not to use a chainsaw when cutting open your head).. will that be ok with you?!
Fuck!!6 -
"You should put your homework on Github so I can find it easily"
I'm not sure I want my teacher to look into my github page. I mean what if he finds my Discord bot? How would he feel about my tts command saying "f*ck bitchies, get money" when someone say "love" or "poor" in a chat-room? Will he judge me?15 -
One sentence to fail almost any coder or related job interview:
"my code is so good, sometimes even I can't comprehend it." -
I see loads of students here.. and loads of freelancers and startup joiners.. all varieties...but one.. Anyone has a 'normal' 9-5 or sth (dev) work? Does that even exist?! Anyone stands up when the 8h are up and can leave the work behind?
I can't.. even when I leave the office I have algos & code stuck in my head..trying to solve the problem I worked on..
How do you handle non dev life? Is there anything left in a day?
I usually work monday-friday on avg 9h/day and have no idea how to manage not being fucked up at the end of the week. :\ I am trying to get back climbing, but usually I am just soooooo tiiiiireeeeeed after work.. I wanna sleep but when I close my eyes I see the code.. at least one core still left working..19 -
how does devRant make any kind of profit? I mean it's free, they have swag giveaways, server cost and maintenance, development, etc...??9
-
How do you usually learn a new language?
My way is to start a project, then figure it out as I go.
I find that books and tutorials are usually better reserved for learning concepts or frameworks.2 -
There. I fixed the bug. Tested every way possible 10 times and it won’t break. I’m awesome.
Tells a tester I have a phone with the new app-version installed for testing on my desk when he has time.
He just... came to my room. I gave him the phone. He looks at it, does SOMETHING and just ”Ya man, I broke it”.... whaaaat O.o2 -
!rant, just wanted to share
I invited some coworkers I count as friends to a drink on friday after work..
One of them replied: I hope it's your birhday..Right?? You're not giving up on us & resigning?8 -
How did you find devRant? I was on YouTube watching a video then a Wix ad came up. After listening to the first sentence "Learn how to design your own website..." I stopped the video because of how bullshit it was. I went to Google and type in: "Wix is shit" and found a small rant here with the literal string. I decided to make an account and comment on it. But my comment was too long so I shaved a few words off. And went to the feed when I was done and liked the content.15
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Hi, here's how things are working now:
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses1 are doing project 1.
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses2 are doing project 2.
– Me has project 3 for work with this adorable boss I'd hate to disappoint. (Anyone watching Brooklyn99? He's my Captain Holt)
– Me has to deal with thesis.
– Me is having trouble keeping her head above the water. (emotionally speaking)
Conclusion: Me is fucked.
The end.
*grins for the camera* 😀6 -
I see the industry popularizing Machine Learning programs using AI to implement ethical Blockchain as a Javascript framework using Scrum techniques for Big Data Web2.0 in Responsive Virtual Reality for your IoT Growth Hacking operations.3
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The kitchen at my office is pretty small, it fits a max of two people. Today morning while making a sandwich, an infrastructure dev walks in and proceeds to say... "I hope you don't mind me standing behind you, it's really not a Christian thing to do"... what?6
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Developer of said repo notices the influx of activity, but then just updates the readme by saying there are bugs, not fixing.
Bro I just gave you a PR. Take the fucking PR and that will fix the bugs. -
I have reached a stage in my career that when my code works in the first try, I'm more skeptical than excited about it.1
-
I wish I can fucking clone myself.
We have been providing digital marketing services for like 5 years without having a proper QA team. Well because we cannot afford to hire one. Technically I am supposed to check and control the quality of our operation team. But I have been juggling so many balls and couldn't do that properly.
So this year we decided that we have to seriously take care of that. But we are providing all kinds of services and creating a QA team for all those services is gonna be costly. We wanna solve it, but also doesn't wanna hang ourselves with another rope. So we have decided to just found a QA team with leaders from various departments mainly Sales and Customer Services. They are the ones who have talked with clients. So they should be able to judge the quality of the services our operation made.
It is a fucking nightmare. It is like we have doubled the amount of clients. And that extra half of those newly popped up clients are sitting in our office. -
So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).
The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.
I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ
What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.5 -
I was checking out this wk139 rants & thinking to myself how does one have a dev enemy.. o.O Well TIL that maaaaybe I have one too..
Not sure if ex coworker was a bit 'weird & unskillful' or wanted to intentionally harm us and thank god failed miserably..
I decided to finally cleanup his workspace today: he had a bad habit of having almost all files in solution checked out to himself, most of them containing no changes whatsoever... I reminded him on many occasions that this is bad practice & to only have checked out files he was currently working on. And never checkin files without changes.. Ofc didn't listen.. managed to checkin over 100 files one time, most of which had no changes & some even had alerts for debugging in them.. which ofc made it to the client server.. :/
On one or two occasions I already logged in and wanted to check if files have any real changes that I'd actually want to keep, but gave up after 40 or so files in a batch that were either same or full of sh..
Anyhow today I decided I will discard everything, as the codebase changed a lot since he left an I know I already fixed a lot of his tasks.. I logged in, did the undo pending changes and then proceed to open source control explorer.
While I was cleaning up his workspace, I figured I could test what will happen if I request changeset xy and shelveset yy, will it be ok, or do I have to modify something else & merge code.. Figured using his workspace that was already set up for testing would be easier, faster & less 'stressful' than creating another one on my computer, change IIS settings and all just, to test this merge..
Boy was I wrong.. upon opening source control explorer, I was greeted by a lot of little red Xes staring back at me... more than half the folders on TFS were marked for deletion.. o.O
Now I'm not sure if he wanted to fuck me up when he left or was just 'stupid' when it comes to TFS. O.O
So...maybe I do have a dev enemy after all.. or I don't.. Can't decide.. all I know for sure is tomorrow I'm creating another workspace to test this and I'm not touching his computer ever again.. O.O -
So, here I am at a guided internship programme, hosted by Indian Railways.
They told us to report at the Personnel Office by 10:00 AM. When I reached there, they told us the venue has been changed (to a place 1km away, with no transportation) and the official "forgot" to inform the 500+ candidates.
Yet, we moved to the said Hall, and am waiting for 1 hour (10:59 AM here), watching :
1. The stupid technician trying to align the projector
2. The stupid presenter trying to copy something and failing, as his pen drive gets disconnected halfway the process.
3. The VIPs having snacks and coffee on-stage while we the students wait here looking at those dumb assholes.
How am I supposed to respect them tomorrow at work?12 -
Put me under pressure and I’ll produce the best code I’ve ever written.
Put me under a microscope and I won’t produce jack shit 😂😬6 -
Been developing a Java app for 3 months, including basically everything from aop to rest services.
Meeting with po:
Me: So, guess how many loc I wrote.
Po: 400?
Me: *laughs* I'll get to 10.000 this week.
MAN COMES IN WITH CHANGING REQUIREMENTS ON AN HOURLY BASIS YET STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH WORK ALL THIS SHIT IS!!1 -
Saw this today on Linked In, I know design bugs can make an element look different, but replicating an element? How is this possible?
6 -
bought a windows license
built the pc
booted from usb
ask for license, put in bought license
installation seems normal
... windows isn't activated ... what?? how?? why is there a different key from the one i just entered?? and why does it still deny it when i try to change the key to my bought one?? y u do dis?😩
does anyone have an idea, what could be causing that?34 -
I once had a client that lived near by and I had setup a server in his office. One day he calls me begging for help because it keeps turning off... He put it in a sealed foam box to try to reduce it's noise. Temps were 80+ Celsius (176f) within 5 minutes of it booting.2
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My Team Lead: Hey do you know goofy?
Me: What is it?
TL: It's a new programming language
Me: *being suspicious* show me what are you dealing with
TL: *Shows me a Groovy code snippet*
Me: Yeah!! Your goofy is pretty good!! Enjoy! 😡1 -
I'm still in denial that Dropbox did 1.1b$ in 2017, cash flow positive. Do they actually even get big clients? It has to be all enterprise, because I highly doubt any consumer actually purchases a Dropbox plan.10
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I'm facing something really strange, in a coffee shop I go to usually, all downloads even if from terminal download speed is at best 200KB/s and at worst 50KB/s, but there is this game armored warfare, it reaches 2MB/s download speed on the same connection, while at home everything goes to max 200KB/s.
My question is, how do the devs at armored warfare do this? use max connection speed or are there any configs need to be changed so I can reach max speed in any downloading?34 -
Wtf is this shit .... why the hell is so much fees even accepted as normal
(Ps - you can get a decent i5 with amd gpu and dos for 40k)
11 -
!rant
Hey all! I kinda started a YouTube channel on Computer Science and basically development... I would very much like the opinion of u all ☺️
If u wanna watch the video, here is the prologue:
https://youtu.be/dqQSGaeLrIg
And here is the first actual video on installing Manjaro Linux... (quite long at 31 minutes though):
https://youtu.be/6KwGLuBBALo
I hope u all give me some feedback 😊😊
Thanks a lot for your time! 🤗3 -
I was wondering how a sysadmin would know if the user sending malicious traffic is the real attacker or his account has been hacked ?
(Also probable that the attacker has faked his mac address to user's device)9 -
How to NOT handle dates!
Do not put the date to "mdy" format, today would be 050217.
Working on an intranet for some multi-billion corporation, and was wondering why events from last year were showing.
Last year's events were 28th of October, 2016, and was showing as upcoming events :)
Checked the code, and saw this. Quick fix, turned dates to UNIX timestamp, and it worked.
2 -
My internship is about to end in two months. I was under the impression that I'll start looking for a job towards mid August and then decide what to do. I didn't expect my company to offer me a position so early before my internship ended.
Initially I had liked the place. The work was pretty relaxed and I had quite a bit of freedom. Soon enough, I proved my worth and my team started respecting my opinions and suggestions. They even consulted me on multiple occasions.
The first thing I noticed on the downside was the company, despite being resourceful enough and having a decent turnover and important clients, was quite stingy in terms of employee welfare. There was no coffee. There was machine but you had to buy the capsule for yourself. And that sucks. I know I don't need to say more but the other problems were there was no enterprise subscription (or any subscription) to PhpStorm even though our team handled so many PHP projects. I know IDEs are personal preferences but not having any professional IDEs is not something to let slide. The lead dev uses NetBeans (and not because he loved it or anything). Even though I worked on WebDev and front end, I had no option to ask for a second screen. I had one display apart from my laptop. Usually most companies in Paris provides food tickets for internships and this company did not even give me that. And worst of all, there wasn't really anyone I looked up to. As much as I enjoy responsibilities and all, I don't think I should be in an environment where I have nothing much to learn from my seniors. For some fucked sense of security and certainty, I was willing to overlook all this when they offered me a position. But I recently had my interview and the regional manager, a fuck face who still makes me wonder how he reached his position, made a proposal for some quite a small amount of salary. What infuriated more than his justifications was his attitude itself. There was absolutely no respect whatsoever. It was more like "We'll give you this, I think this is more than enough for you. Take it or do whatever you want". I asked for more and he didn't even bother negotiating. I declined the offer.
Now this would have solved all the issues. But my manager and my lead dev like me a lot. Both of them are pretty nice people. They both were bothered with the fact that I had turned down the offer. My manager even agreed that the offer was too low and had already given me tips to help me negotiate. But after I turned down the offer, she went and discussed the issue with the regional manager and he offered me a new proposal. This time it was decent but still under my expectations. I'm pretty sure I can do better elsewhere. I said I need time to think about it. I get multiple advises from people to take it atleast so that I get my visa converted to a work permit. For some reason, I want to take the risk and say no. And find something else. But today my lead dev called me aside and asked me if was going to say no. He really tried to influence me by telling me a lot of good things about me and telling me about the number of different projects we're going to start next month and all that. Even though I'm fully convinced that I don't want to work here, just the sheer act of saying no to these two people I respect is sooo fucking difficult for me that I can already imagine me working here for the next one year. The worst part is I can clearly classify their words and sentences into stuff they say to canvass me, stuff they're bullshitting about and flattery just to make me stay. Despite knowing I'm being taken advantage of, some fucked up module in my head wouldn't stop guilt tripping me. I don't know what to do. If I only I could find a really better job.
Pardon the grammatical errors if any. I'm just venting out and my thoughts branch in 500 different ways simultaneously.5 -
Well what an adventure with this SSD...😑
my sis' laptop is from 2013-ish(?) and has/had a slow HDD in it. I wanted to speed it up, before her study, so I bought a new internal SSD (no new laptop wanted).
Created a bootable USB, exchanged the hard drives and install the OS on it. Seems easy enough...
The laptop restarts to finish its process ... laptop shuts down immediately, no warning whatsoever. 😳🤨
Start it up, loading screen, fan gets louder and louder ... instant shut down.😳🤨🤨.
Redo process, this time landing on blue-screen, error code critical process died? ... instant shut down again.🤔
Restart from old HDD, normal.😐
Retry with boot USB and reinstall SSD. Setup process copying files, meanwhile instant shut down.😳 Please don't tell me!😩 Since every part of the laptop was working, except the new inserted SSD, I thought "FUCK not a broken SSD!😣"
I had my own PC with internal SSD slot, so tried to find out, whether it would be broken...
All starting up fine??🤨🤨
Ok then? Finish the setup for the third time now ... everything up and running.😐🤷
Normal shut down, unplug, plug back onto laptop, it works. HOW?? WHY?? 😕
Why the fuck are you suddenly working? 😐🤷🤷🤷
That's some magic...5 -
Client: “I’m trying to register on behalf of someone else but it’s saying my email address is already in use!”
Me [internally]: “Wait, you seriously thought you could register multiple accounts with the same email?”3 -
How in the fuck do you start getting clients as a freelancer? Do I just throw stuff on my GitHub and pray someone hits me up on Fiverr? Upwork won't accept my account and it's been fucking four months of me trying. I took to becoming a full-time designer to push our startup's products to completion but a fucking failure over there too everytime.
Everything is a fucking shitfest and I'm just whining at this point but I needed to take this off of my fucking chest. A good fucking day to you too.8 -
Whichever fucking cunt at Wordpress came up with that filthy Walker class and how a navigation item tree should be traversed, shall be hanged to death.
How fucking brainless can one be to create such a complete pile of donkey turds?!
No wonder Wordpress itself makes no sense at all nor has it any connection to any intelligent lifeform whatsoever.
Edit: This rant does not even closely show how high my fucking rage-level is!4 -
Not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved.
Just spent 5 years trying the get into this class. Studying and asking and getting recommendations. I knew it had less than a 5% pass rate but it's all that I've been aiming for for years.
Finally got into it, and spent 4 months working my ass off. Today I got told that I'm maybe being dropped. And honestly, as disappointed as I am, and I might need a new dream to aim for, I'm actually pretty okay with it.
I've been so stressed and annoyed and unhappy lately. I was starting to debate if this is even what I want. And for the first night in a while I can just drink whisky and not worry about the next test or doing classwork at midnight instead of sleeping.... I can just relax and whatever happens happens. I can't control how tomorrow goes.
Not sure if "oof. I need a drink" or "thank god, lets celebrate with a drink!"3 -
I think it's incredibly sad that one of the first serious discussions I ever have with my child will be how to Google yourself effectively, to do it at least once a week and how to go about getting certain things removed (If you can) 😕2
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What's with JSON conditional evaluation?
How is it a good thing to add conditions to JSON?
Next in line:
Open vacancy: Full stack JSON developer -
Need to implement something huge on a app that I'm working on.
The design team is not from my company.
All the design that I have is in a PDF that I can't extract the images and they are low res.
How the actual fuck do they expect me to do a good job if I don't even have the design and assets to work with -
Well. Fuck.
A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.
I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.
This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.
I'm feeling seriously dirty.1 -
I've seen a few posts on here; exclaiming their disdain when it comes to people finding out about how good they are with computers. And while yes Programming has nothing to do with "fixing" computers; I myself don't mind fixing other people's computers. It's fun and it's usually not completely related to programming. So that means I'm not really doing my job outside of the office.
5 -
How did you come to know about devRant?
I was shopping stickers online, and the owner of that site referred me to devRant (personaly, we were having a chat via that contact us chatbox).
Share your stories, because I don't see any ads of devRant, so everything must be organic here...19 -
So.. name one fucken case where your database is not a computer backed thing.
Just asking because.. why the fuck? I don't think your database server supports input of fucking math symbols? JUST USE HUMAN LANGUAGE, AS YOU HAVE TO DO ANYWAY!
It's stupid how everything needs to be expressed mathematically ffs. Not that it's hard to understand - it's just more complex than of a very simple wording.
6 -
Well, I wanna specialize in low-level software as I get older. Everyone is telling me to go out and learn a processor architecture. I'm willing to be patient, so I do what people recommend to me and I download the Intel x86_64 manual. I was excited... UNTIL I REALIZED THE MANUAL WAS 4474 PAGES LONG! Like, how am I supposed to jump into assembly, machine language, and low-level programing with a beginner's task like that? I cannot find ANY resources online to simplify the transition, and college sure ain't gonna teach me anytime soon.10
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WTF?!? so apparently I guy I know, knows the guy who built dodeley.com (don't get me started on the name!)
Oh boy... Where should I begin? So besides the fact that I'm pretty sure these newsletters will be classified as spam (aites like mailchimp and so on actually pay large mail providers not to classify them as spam, I doubt they do...), their so called "widget" is just a form, sent to their domain using GET, FUCKING GET, NOT POST, GET!!! The request looks something like "dodeley.com/?action=subscribe&id=xxx&field1=xxx&..." I mean like, WTF? Oh and their solution to not leave the page is simply to add a target="_blank" to the form, that you have to include on your site.
Did I mention, that the form id is static? Did I mention, that there's no validation on what you enter?
Who the fuck programmed this shit? Honestly!1 -
I'm just trying to get my boss on the phone and his secretary tells me he is in a seminar but I walk by his office and he is eating a MF DONUT
1 -
Wow... I haven't done complex/algorithmic level coding for maybe 6 months (yes that's how mindless my day job usually is)...
Now I just finished part of the code for a scheduling app I'm doing just for fun... Though there is also a use case at work but I don't have the free time to think about problems at this level... -
I asked on StackOverflow how to use Angular2 and NodeJS together, that's the foundations of MEAN stack. The answer was "use a generator". SERIOUSLY? It's the stack most famous ever and nobody knows how to serve a fucking static folder without using a generator? What if I've already my own generator? What if I want just to add API to my current project? What if I just want to know what fucking is happening under the hood? What the fuck? Seriously? A generator? Oh my God! A generator!2
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Don't know what the exact deal with Microsoft's Edgy Explorer but ffs, everytime I open it to check how something is rendered it prompts to be default then gets salty when declined and pops the control panel, suggesting it as default...13
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Fucking fuck shit monkeycocksucking gargling wtf!
I was getting some stuff done in my accounting software and it bugged me that the fields were dark and the fonts as well, thus seeing fucking shit. This was clearly a bad choice of a gtk3 dark theme, thus i switched to the fucking default adwaita, suddenly gnome session crashes.
Ok, i just log out and log back in.
Logout.... Nothing happens.... Ctrl-alt-backspace , nothing happens (and i knew i enabled that in the settings)
Ok let's do it a bit more forceful and restart the display manager... Gdm starts... I insert my credentials... It fucking crashes.
WTF!!!
I desperately try to debug it, xsession error msg'es? Nope. Something in /var/log/messages? Nope. Something, anything at all, nope sherlock nopedinope!
About to go batshit crazy, purging and reinstalling all of gnome, thibking that, what ever setting lust have broke it, it will be fixed now.
No fucking fuck desktop!!!
I lost my nerve and replaced gdm with lightdm, and i finally, after three hours wasted on my machine, i get my gnome desktop back... But in a state of mess! Extensions don't work and make it crash again, user themes? Nope, go fuck yourself with plain default.
I'm really losing my shit, business is almost non-existant, and now ly FUCKING desktop refuses to work like i want to. Everything is fucking broken to shits !!
I'm gon a go to my gf, and relax a little, at least i still have a working laptop.
Question is, for how long???
Fml4 -
In my Inbox, a mail trail with 3 people who concluded: "This is not working properly"
Me: "Looks like a config issue..."
Someone else: "Hey we've now checked the config, it looks fine"
Me: /goes and looks
Me: "But the required line is commented-out..." -
Today when registering myself for a website I was asked to validate my email address. Literally I was sent an email with only "Please verify your email" in the body. So I responded with "ok". Lets see how long it takes for them to realise their mistake.3
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Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
...
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1 -
What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”
It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.
You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?8 -
How to know your network proxy sucks: when everything IDE-related (downloading new package, using Gradle…) is blocked, but almost everything prohibited (like streaming) isn't.
Love university.16 -
That moment when someone asks you, if they can get a Microsoft Office license for free from you.
Admit it! We have all tried it.4 -
The ticket system blokes - episode 3
So we always had and have very awful performance with our ticket system. You can't get anything to load in under ~4s normally. Now since it has gotten worse over the last weeks i decided to set aside a few hours to closely watch our SQL server.
After i identified a culprit that was hogging the CPU almost every 2 minutes i looked at other long running queries in the server and found out where exactly the 4s come from.
6 tables from various DBs. Sure, no problem.
Left Outer Join. Sure, why not.
Querying every fucking column in every fucking table explicitly adding up to a whopping 160 columns which they need not even 10% of. We're talking about session IDs, passwords, stock count, IBANs and all that stuff to show the work done on a ticket. Absolutely not.
So i extracted the query and reduced it to the stuff we need and the execution time went from 4 seconds to almost instant.
The funny thing is that their idea of performance optimization is throwing LIMIT around everywhere to get these monstrous queries under control.
So in the next few days I'll have an appointment with their lead programmer. I'm looking forwards to it.
So out of curiosity: does anyone know an SQL builder or toolset that does shit like
SELECT X AS [t0_c0],
SELECT Y AS [t0_c1],
SELECT Z AS [t1_c0],
and so on? I'd like to know how they got to this point.4 -
Chemists recently "compiled" a programming language into chemicals! I'll admit that I have no clue how it works, but they were able to get a mathematical function working without any electronics. The article I read doesn't describe the speed of the reaction, so I'm not sure if it's really useful as a replacement for computer operations.4
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You cannot completely delete a windows service, as long as the services panel is open. The service stays undead and prevents any reinstallation until the services panel is closed.
Thanks Microsoft.
Separation of GUI and business logic does not apply here, because it's kernel logic, right?
But at least you're consistents, there is a similar issue with not installing USB drivers if the new hardware dialog is open.4 -
Was wondering, how dfox and trogus did it?
Was going through top rants of all time, and they categorized correctly, did they do it by hand?
I only checked first page, but that is a lot of work to do if they did it by hand1 -
It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.3
-
Experience doesnt equate number of years you worked. It acummulate through each problem/challenge we solve everyday. What your view, please share.2
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Ok I need a second post for this week. A tech lead decided to have a one on one meeting with me in public on the clients' floor where he decided to get angry at me (in public mind you) about using too many design patterns and inheritance because that "makes the code too hard to read. Instead use a lot of if-else's like I do." So not just is he an idiot, he did this in public on a floor with people who didn't know programming so now I look awful. I was furious.2
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Anyone here practice mindfulness? Got any tips for staying mindful while in front of a computer and coding? and at work?7
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This is how you become dead to me:
Person: OMG X,Y,Z are happening!?!?! Notify everyone, freak out everybody!!!!!!!!
Me: Uh... have you seen that happen?
Person: No but another person said they did.
Me: ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ1 -
Great how I’ve just started a new job, haven’t been given all the licenses I need to run the software, there are multiple products with little to no documentation (and by none I mean the word “Architecture” is all there is in one of the main products ReadMe file) and I’ve a year of this! How is a company that’s this big not in any way documented like! This is gonna be long 😑2
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The Nintendo switch has been out for a while now. The one thing no one has ever addressed, how are the joy-cons charged?! I can't see any connections in between the console and the controller. And teardowns don't reveal induction coils.7
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Has to be writing.
Not exactly a better dev, per se, but close enough.
I used to read books and imagine all sorts of possible scenarios to different events. One day, after replaying the Mass Effect series, I began to think about alternate ways to end it. Opened Libre Office and started hammering away. 10 minutes later, I had an outline. Never actually finished that story, but the spark was there.
I began noting down outlines and creating structures for interesting games and books; that soon carried over to my work. Before and after every meeting with my boss, I'd have outlined how the meeting was going to go, and how it actually went. Gave me a sense of order.
This in turn helped me be a better manager (I work with a team of 9), and I tell you guys, it couldn't have come at a better time. I had been promoted quite suddenly, and had been fucking up quite a bit at the start.
I had my shit in order. My team was happier and more efficient. My boss was happy. I was given bigger goals and tighter deadlines. I fucking loved it.
All this, from writing some fanfiction. (there, I said it!)
P. S: I stared at this for a solid minute, still not sure how it all came together.1 -
!rant
So as my recent rants might have conveyed, my job has been pretty shitty lately. So as we do I started looking around for other openings. Not that I would take them right away, but I want to know. This led to a realization that I'm literally at the best paying, top rated, firm doing the best work in nearly a nearly 100 mile radius of my home. There's a few government jobs that want top secret and 10 years experience, but for anything less than that my current position is literally the best. This is not what I expected the top to be like. And the fact that it took me over a year to realize that I'm actually at the top and have been is super weird.
Thing is I don't know what I expected the top to be like nor did I expect to be here so quickly after finishing school.
I know this is dev rant not dev ramble but this was one of those formative moments where I just really don't know how to process this info.
Anybody had similar feelings? Like looking for someone to help and realizing, not in a egotistical way, just in a sobering way, that you are literally the best and most qualified person out there.3 -
I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.2 -
> uses two workstations
> Forgets to commit code on one before moving to the other
> Works on the other and pushes
> Brain does what it's great at and forgets how to reset to HEAD
> Brain convinces me the only way to handle the issue was to commit my half-working code and then pull
It was only 5 o'clock. What the fuck.
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Lets make sure that we are always using the latest software! Keep things up to date#
..... (new version of bulma.io comes out)
..... (Updating libraries...)
.....
Why is the website all fucked up looking?
Shit they changed the padding level on like everything?!
..... Reverting back to older version, fuck that idea.2 -
I don't know if I should call this a rant or not. I spent most of X-mas hacking away my code I haven't touched over a year and released the library to NuGet. Woot!
This has to be the way devs should spent holidays
-
WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.
Are you trying to tell me that 'oops that C written Javascript library just crashed by a WTFCrash within a Java VM'?
Eh What!? I mean what?!
Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...
5 -
Soooo
I'm a fresh out-of-college CS grad (in his early twenties) working at a small scale startup and the people in my Engineering team are at least 10 years elder to me. (this is my first job out of school -- ignoring the internships and such)
I have a tough time making friends with them and an even tougher time making conversation which I think is hurting my communication skills in a harmful way.
Don't get me wrong.. because they are so highly experienced engineers, I get to learn a lot more a lot faster and I love that part but I just feel like I don't laugh or talk enough at my office (otherwise, people have to tell me to shut up).
I mean when everyone is not plugged in with headphones and cranking the keyboards, they talk about their wives, kids, and stuff that I have no relation to. Like I know a lot about childbirth and car seats but except being shocked etc., I often don't have much to add to the conversation.
Also, on top of this, after looking at the sorry condition of people throughout my undergrad and my internships, I had decided to not get into the habit of drinking coffee. So, when they go on coffee breaks etc. they don't ask me if I want to come along and the times that I kind of forced myself to come along turned out to be kind of awkward and not something I'd wanna experience again.
What do you recommend? Understand that I absolutely love my job and I love learning so much around such intelligent people but I don't have fun at work. Is this Dev life or am I missing something?
Do you have any recommendations or similar stories of how you overcame this problem?5 -
So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!1
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So, a few days ago I went on an interview for a position as a web developer, and during the interview they tell me they are thinking about getting into hosting, and that if they decide to do so I would be the one responsible for managing all of it.
I have no idea how to set up web servers, let alone make sure they can handle heavy loads and so on, so I'd be taking on a huge responsibility and workload, along with the task of making websites.
The company consists of 5 designers, and at the moment, no developers, and they have about 30-40 customers, all with sites that would need to be moved to the new hosting platform.
My question to you all is this:
How much does quality hosting equipment cost, and is it really worth it for such a small company to get into hosting, or should they rather look to make a deal with an existing host for some kind of monthly kickback/rebate?
I'm thinking they should find an existing host and enter some kind of partnership, as that would be easier and safer than doing all the hosting inhouse.
What do you guys and girls think?5 -
inspired by another rant. quick questions!
1. without checking, how do you scan a QR code on your phone? does it have a built-in setting? does it require an app? do you have it?
2. when was the last time you scanned a QR code?
my guess for most people is 1. idk. maybe it's there. maybe not. 2. haven't.
so why are they fucking everywhere? on every advertisment, receipt, payment terminal, etc.
I have nothing against QR. it's a great thing, and would be super useful if I didn't have to go out of my way to get a third party app just to scan it. but it makes me curious: is it this inconvenient for everyone? why are they all over the place? I've literally never seen someone scan one, and many people I know don't even know what it is!16 -
People that contact me through LinkedIn trying to sell me some marketing shit or asking me about some issue with the service provided by a company that I started but with which I don't have any relation whatsoever since October 2016, which by the way is pretty clearly stated in my LinkedIn profile,…
DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING READ??? Stop pestering me about that company. I don't have anything to do with it, I can't do anything about it and, even if I could, I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO.1 -
I'm just joining this field, and already I hate it when family ask what exactly I'm learning.
I can either dumb it down to the old "I make computer go beep beep" and get met with accusations of rudeness, tell the full details and have them look lost, or try and dumb it down and get met with patronizing remarks ("Oh yeah, I remember doing that last Thrusday! Sure, yeah!).
How do you explain this shit to your folks?9 -
Wait, how did I only just find out you can use the space bar on a mobile to move the cursor?
https://cnet.com/google-amp/news/...4 -
One of my friends just royally pissed me off by deciding to repeat some crap she heard on TV about suicide being very selfish. I have depression and she's just taken a huge shit on mental health I'm. She can be a stupid cow sometimes...2
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I am 21 years old and I work on Machine Learning and deep learning. I have this problem and any advice on this is highly appreciated:
Whenever I sit to code, I put on some light music over the headphones. As soon as I sit, my parents think that I am wasting my time on YouTube or watching a movie. It is not easy to convince Indian parents. What should I do to get into coding without being interrupted or being falsely accused of enjoying in front of the computer? (Locking the room with be disastrous and I have tried it 😅)
Please help 🙏8 -
Just recently got a new job.
On the old jobs we've always held connection via mail, slack, fb messenger groups and whatever.
But on this new IT job they have this really weird theory of that when you want something, you've to stand up, walk to the coworkers booth, and use this super odd "voice" communication.
Such a barbaric routine!2 -
Has anyone ever had an eBay addiction... I think I may have "25 days of Christmas" coming in the next few weeks....
Yes that's how much stuff I've randomly bought/might end up buying if I win the auctions...
I really should stop...3 -
!rant I need a TL:DR for custom ROMS, I already know what they are, what they do, I need to know how useful they are and where I can start!
Thanks!8 -
Word is spreading that CNN, which is owned by Time Warner, got a reddit users IP from their mods, and with their relation to Time Warner, got his identity.
Then extorted him to apologize or be revealed.
This is huge, and we don't even know its the only time it has happened.
VPNs may not even truly protect you if the ISP can connect the dots over time, with time stamps.
Holy shit, CNN just weaponized ipv4
1 -
My code works.
Well, it should, but not like this.
I've set some datas to a nested form, saved by a variable named 'stat1', however the code won't work unless I use a variable named 'fields'. Not 'stat1'. I'm only 24 years old and I already feel too old for this shit.3 -
Hi guys what is the meaning of double back slash in my Git folder? It is not removed when I do a "git clean -fd". This is the first time I encountered something like this.
$ git status
On branch master
Changes not staged for commit:
(use "git add <file>..." to update what will be committed)
(use "git checkout -- <file>..." to discard changes in working directory)
modified: some/folder/hello.php
Untracked files:
(use "git add <file>..." to include in what will be committed)
"\\"
no changes added to commit (use "git add" and/or "git commit -a")9 -
That's pretty awesome -_- angular decides to simply discontinue older (half a year) versions of their cli tool by overwriting the older releases with an update notice. Causing my project (jsRant) to break until I update to the newest version.
This new version requires a different configuration so I have to update my entire project just to be able to deploy to production again....
A comment from the heart: f*** you angular.3 -
How do you test unreachable code or part that is considered an edge case?
For example I catch exceptions in case IO failed and data was not written on database, but that only happens if hardware failure, or no disk space left, how do I mimic that?
I also have unreachable code for example, in one layer I fetch data (lets call it function x) and always return success result unless item not found I throw KeyNotFound exception. But in the calling function I handle the case of Status == Failed
Just in-case in the future I change function x and start returning failed status, so my logic already written but never reachable12 -
How can you learn a lot of things?
i'm trying to learn kotlin and i think i'm forgetting python.
is it happens to you?
or i'm stupid?9 -
Its time to remind ourselves the wonderful time of the year, where people look back and decide to be better and learn from your mistakes...
For example never test in prod and wake me up with notifications you dumbfucks... Someone has exams to do..
Seriously, I have seen a lot of push notifications lately, its some kind of Letstestinprod-uary?
1 -
My dad needs my help with an excel sheet and calls me "Hey, need your help to do X, but this computer doesn't allow me to do, how can i do it?"
Me, who has already used skype, teamviewer and (Wahtsapp) video call several times (him too!) and got things done faster this way:"let's do a video call (whatsapp) so you can show me and i can help you better" (my dad thinks teamviewer is too complicated to use)
my dad "oh come on please, i don't have time for this, let's do it this way!"
After i tried to explain him that it would take far more time on the phone, needing him to explain what he sees, telling him the advantages of a video call right now, he ended like "ok forget about it!"
as he said that i kinda fell in a rage, quit the call myself and almost threw the phone against smth.
Seriously how hard can it be??? it's just few phone taps away😥, i would have even proposed to video call him myself to make things easier for him! But he prefers the classical-phone-way which every time takes half an hour just to understand where he's at.
It's just frustrating every time...2 -
Thinking about a doing a small YouTube series about how I would have done specific failed or succeeding pieces of tech, my first would be in windows mobile...
Anyone else able to think of any subjects I could cover?3 -
!dev
I need to stop buying things...
I just bought a Keurig and some coffee because it was on sale for Cyber Monday...
And well I've been buying other discretionary things like crazy for the last few months... including lots of cakes and chocolates...
Which prolly adds up to over $500 in 3 months...
Damn should've gotten a new credit card... All that spending would've gotten me $150 back... -
Why you literally took fucking half hour to fix this shit, I’m telling you, there is only a naming problem there, nothing else!
And his title is
“SeNiOr FrOnT-eNd DeVeLoPeR”
4 -
This is story and not a rant about my journey in programming. I've left out some details ofc, some of which I couldn't remember and some I got too lazy to add. They're not that important so I omitted them. There may be a lot of errors but it's almost 3 am and I cba. I'm tried but yeah, just decided to share something because it's been a while. I would also like to hear you guys' journey as well. Maybe they might inspire someone, who knows 🤷🏿♂️.
I had a thirst of learning more about computers and how they worked when I was around 13. I started looking into web development because I was really curious how websites worked. I started using cms's like web.com, enjij.com and any other cms I could find back in 2011 to build websites just to get a basic knowledge. A year later I picked up programming because I wanted to start making them by myself from scratch. I did some research and found websites that teach you how to start. I used codecademy and YouTube to teach myself the basics of web programming. It was fine for a while until I got bored and wanted more. I found out about php and it's capabilities. so I learned that using the same methods. I built sites for my Minecraft server, a small e-company I wanted to start and social media sites just for fun. I struggled with bugs and issues of course but that made it fun. The late nights trying to fix them or the late nights where I burst with ideas and was just coding. it was bliss. I wanted to expand my knowledge and tried learning Python but I felt overwhelmed back then and took a break. The years go by, I still made websites using php, js, html and css. I improved my skill with them. Now using OOP, writing sleeker and better code and my web designs improved massively as well as my MySQL abilities. It was time for me to graduate and I wanted to go into computer science but because of how much time spent programming, I fell back on my classes and just barely managed (albeit it wasn't the only reason, I slacked and didn't care because I felt hs was too easy for me at first). I instead went on to do a game design course in Toronto Film School and that's where I learned c# for unity and a little bit of c++ (this shit is so hard bro, I couldn't keep up and I've forgotten most of it). Fast forward, I graduate with decent grades and can now make some pretty nice games. I took a year off after that to look for jobs but as you know, you need experience and it's not easy to get those. I tried making an android app and got stuck with a very simple but that took 4 months to fix and then I burned out. I also lost my programming motivation partly because I felt like I wasn't making anything unique and meaningful. I felt empty so I quit for a while. All my plans fail and I decide to go back to school to upgrade the marks I needed and either do comp sci, mechanical engineering or stem. I forgot to mention btw that my goals shifted from just programming to being an inventor. Anyways, I boosted my grades and I did superbly so I can go into anything I want now. Currently just waiting for my acceptance letter while learning Python again along with react, SharePoint and a few other things to boost my skills and knowledge. I'm slowly getting my mojo back and it's really fun. But yeah that's my journey 😁1 -
So how many BRUH moments do you fine people have on a daily basis?
Me? I have a little over a 100 every now and then in just a few hours being at work ⚰️11 -
I've been instructed to learn and create proof of concepts on a machine:
- Isolated from everyone at a different physical location
- Without admin rights
- With nothing that I need installed
- With no Internet connection
How8 -
Does anyone else make or play music to restart their brain after days/weeks of grinding? https://soundcloud.com/siegeacousti...2
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There was a project I took over that was supposed to be at 90% when the previous developer quit. The project was in QA with some "minor" bugs that needed to be fixed. When I looked at the minor bugs I realized that the project had major underlying data issues. So after working 80 hour weeks I managed to hobble it together and make the release date.
That was a little over three years ago. Since then another developer has taken over maintenance and enhancements on the product and overall the application works pretty well for what it is.
So his analogy is, that the application is a tank that was made out of aluminum foil that has been hit many times in battle. Whenever it has been hit we have patched the tank with random things like bricks, soda bottles, and old car doors yet somehow it keeps going. The tank is still surviving the war but we really don't know how.
🐜 -
Trying to find decent window server hosting for multiple websites without paying extortionate prices is less fun than I'd thought.
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https://techcrunch.com/2017/11/...
*LookAtCalendar* 1st april already done this year...
I would suggest to use the function to set a "mentally challenged"-flag on the user profile.
Let's hope the developers behind that idea are still lying under their desks laughing their asses off.3 -
Visiting a site about FOSS and it tells me:
"Note: We are experiencing technical issues with Firefox and our comment system. If you want to leave a comment, please use some other browser."
How about no?! *rage quit*
*popup appears right before leaving*
AARRRRGHHH!! *table flip*5 -
(heading)How a programming language is created? Because I want to make my own.(heading)
I am learning C and next I will learn C++, SQL,DS&A, Assembley, Lex&Yacc,Operating Systems, Computer Arcticture, Computer Networks because I think it's enough for my goal. The only reason I am learning this, to make my own C++ clone with my own knowledge. But I really don't know how can I create my own programming language like C++ from scratch. Like what are the first steps to began with. As I know that C, first step is Preprocessor then Compiler then Assembler then (Loader/Linker).
Anyone please give me a step by step guide like learn this language first then this then this. So I can finally reach that amount of knowledge which I can implement to create my own programming language like C++.7 -
Back when Steve Jobs died, and my brother and I were freaking out and telling the bad news to everyone in our family, my sister said: "Who's Steve Jobs? Is he the guy who invented Twitter?"
😑 I can't even... 😥17 -
I'm a web developer that would like to do some game development. I focus on front end, and have done backend work (not a lot of databasing, though). I mainly use JavaScript and Python, with enough knowledge of Java, C#, and PHP to get by when I need to. I've also got a background in graphic design.
What aspects of game development might be a good fit for my skillset?
Where and how do I get started? I've looked at Phaser in the past, since it was inspired by Flixel, a Flash game library I used for a some simple projects in college.3 -
"Oh I knew they'd say that it's why I didn't get them to test it "
Did these words really just come out of your mouth? Who the fuck left you in charge of planning this shit?
Some team manager requested dev work it got approved and done standard. However they knew from the get go their team would rip it apart so when it came to the testing phase did he get his team to use it?
No he pulled fucking random people from other teams who don't use this feature at all in their day to day to test and sign it off.
Sod your vision mate. Our team just lost two months of work your team's productivity has dropped because you had a picture of how things should be but didn't want to be told no. And for a fucking valid reason your method is shit.
Don't think he'll be left in charge of a project anytime soon. -
How do you guys use Github as a portfolio? What I mean is that almost all of my more serious projects are on private repos, so most of my public stuff is mostly just junk.7
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I got a compulsory SAT/SUN reboot on my work pc this morning when I logged in.... after i just rebooted it... BTW today is Monday...
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I work for a tech company, centered on computer vision and video processing. I mean, we're not exactly the most Web centric company I grant you. That said I've just noticed a post on LinkedIn a couple of days ago celebrating our new start. The URL?
...
...
That starts http://localhost/ -
Yesterday I had an interview where they would ask me why of everething many times.
Good exercise to do before the meeting by yourself1 -
Hello fellow Ranters,
I'm in need of some help, I want to try building a small website, like maybe 4 pages worth of work for my uncle. But I'd like to build it in such a way that a non-programmer (my uncle) could upload photos to a portfolio section through an administrative console page. I'm doing this mostly to learn how to build something like this and also as a side project to help out my uncle.
From what I've read, I'm thinking that Angular (maybe?) might be the right way to go about building dynamic pages, but I'm not really sure and was wondering what you guys would suggest? If possible can you please also recommend a place where I can find examples for something like this?
Thank you in advance for your help and recommendations, I really appreciate it!!!7 -
Thank you, docker, for a grammar lesson. I though "environment" was spelled "enviroment"...until today1
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I'm facing something strange, I have set the following headers in Nginx to return:
strict-transport-security: max-age=31536000; includeSubDomains
vary: Accept-Encoding
x-content-type-options: nosniff
X-Firefox-Spdy: h2
x-frame-options: SAMEORIGIN
x-xss-protection: 1
But I only get them when I browse root of my website, but if I go to https://website.com/subPage
those headers are not returned, now I did set them only on
"location / {}"
Any other headers I am missing that needs to be set?
in nginx, but how do I force it on all sub pages, or there is no need?2 -
I'd argue to say that committing often, even if the commits aren't always meaningful, has saved me numerous times from bad code gone awry.
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Do you people anything about a processor with a firewall?
Because I just saw an episode of Arrow where they were trying to break into such a firewall!1 -
It's Friday and I'm having one of those "how the fuck is this working?" moments. Caveat: it's my code. 😂😂😂2
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"Hey, can you check this ticket, and fix a bug on a Drupal module written 2 years ago, making you rewrite almost everything, please ? You have 30mn"
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FUCK MY LIFE! POSTMAN! it fucking opened with a full white theme, everything was grayscaled and still it made me go blind like after a fucking flashbang, holy shit.1
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Three days out from a field trial, I receive a bug report and change request. A month ago I was told that testing had been completed and the feature set signed off.
Not only have all our manufacturers received their hardware images, not only have they fulfilled our orders but all units have been delivered to our customers!!
After pointing all of this out I hear that wonderful phrase all Devs know and love, "well how hard can it be?"
"Well how hard can it be to flash all of the hardware?"
That has been delivered to all of our customers?
In every state?
All over the whole country?
Just No!2 -
A small startup founded by university students is looking for IT talents that know "PHP/Javascript/CSS/SQL etc."
My guess is that it has something to do with art.
I am not a webdev but I do not thing that this is alright...1 -
K, how to get started with HTML, CSS and JS basics? I want to get started right away and would like to have something like a reference tutorial, with short helpful code. Nothing like a course or something. Hope you can help me.3
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How many lines of code should one be looking at at any given moment? Of course you could zoom, but how many lines do you guys think is ideal?
Currently I have 33 when in full screen.3 -
JESUS CHRIST GOOGLE YOU ARE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COMPANY HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR WEBSITE DESIGN SO SHIT?
goddamit with the amount of fucking whitespace on YouTube I could fit an entire fucking copy of the website in.4 -
I have never seen such a requirement, but unlike a lot of you guys, I haven't worked professionally as yet. Have any of you seen anything like this?
"The Prototype at this stage is responsive, following a minimum width spec of 320 pixels. *The prototype interface is fully operational using Browser Zoom levels from 75%-150%*. Layout must conform to the grid at these settings."2 -
decimal discount = line.Discount - (line.StandardPrice - line.CustomerPrice);
2 fucking hours working out what and why the fuck this line of code. Fml -
For those who graduated, how the heck do you people do it? I'm on the verge of failing and/or having to retake Calculus AGAIN! I thought that if I could retake it, I would do better. But nope, now instead of getting into that really good tech school in a couple years, I'm a fledgling developer stuck in commonunity college with a 2.9 GPA and not a single project finished. Every decision I make has an exponential affect on my future, but right now, I got nothing. I can't see myself going anywhere else or doing anything else than software development. I'm not quitting, but that isn't enough anymore. This is a nightmare.3
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Anybody have advice about figuring out how you learn and how to have discipline doing things you don't like (everything related to being a codemonkey) so I can git gud?1
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Javascript is my main tool at work right now, Typescript to be precise. It never ceases to amaze me, I guess as most of you.
What I've encountered recently still doesn't make sense to me but it seemingly works:
function a(){
someString && someFunction()
// other stuff ...
}
someString can be a string or undefined, someFunction can be a function or undefined.
How is that valid Javascript, without an assignment? Haven't found any explanation yet.23 -
I've always been a fidgeter and I loved going to the tech museum in our city when I was a kid. As someone who also loved to build with Lego and create I eventually stumbled upon programming, where my dad recommended I'd start out with Scratch. It didn't really do it for me, so I put it down. Around the age of 12 I wanted to give programming another shot, but this time I started of with Python. It still followed a C-style syntax but wasn't as strict of a language, and that's how I got started!
Note: soon after I switched to C and C++ and they're now my main languages 😊 -
When you try to fix an error for hours and in the end you manage to fix it but the way you fixed it shouldn't work at all.
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Am I the only one that didn't the use of not after a something incredibly triggering?
Eg. "Ask not what..."
I know the meaning but I interpret it as "ask how(?) [ inverse of what]... "2 -
had a uni exam in databases (just closely didn't make it😒)
it didn't even have sql in it!?
questions about ER diagrams and draw a diagram, functional dependencies with given dependencies, find candidate key and what not, work on a b-tree (miserably failed😣), datalog (who the fuck cares about datalog? the least expected topic) and transaction management/serializability
whose idea was it to not include sql?? isn't it one the fundamental parts of relational databases?4 -
Gotta love it when your untouched code worked just hours ago locally and now you have no idea why everything breaks, what has gone wrong and how to fix it ... but it's stable remotely on dev/test/live. Project runs on localhost + vpn on company servers. I can dynamically change the parts that shall be compiled locally and the rest will be loaded from the company servers.
Fucking great.6 -
could anyone help me calculating costs for AWS and Google Colab Services? I find it quite intransparent...
i would like to host 1x Python App which runs once a day or week (API call, enrichment uf JSON, JSON 2 CSV, FTP transfer). runtime is probably a few seconds, something between 1 and 5.
in AWS i created a Lambda function and for scheduling i guess i need CloudWatch. what really grind my gears is the combination of free contingent and paied service - i really don't have an overview right now, so my question here: how could i calculate it and what would be the monthly/yearly costs?
in Google Colab created a notebook and for scheduling i would need Google Cloud Scheduler. as far as i understand the hosting of the notebook is for free and the costs of cloud scheduler is $0.10 per job per project per month. 3 are for free. so 1 project, 1 job = scheduler for free?
Also, i'm open for other services such as digital ocean droplets or similar.
thx in advance for your help!8 -
I have to write a text that explains the kalman filter and I'm expected to include some light technical details, too. I've just barely used it in its simplest form and have almost no understanding about the stochastic aspect of it. Also don't have much time left and I barely understand the simplest literature about it.
This is gonna be great. 🙃4
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