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-
Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?
Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses17 -
Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.
Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.
Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.
“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.12 -
If you're going to ask for my help
... and then do the opposite of everything i say
... and then complain when things don't work
... and continue to ignore everything i say
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF9 -
*sigh*
Ssh'd into raspberry pi:
$ sudo ip link set dev wlan0 down
*waits 5 minutes for response*
Oh.. Oh yeah..15 -
Boss: When will the website be ready?
Me: Um, maximum by Tuesday
*Boss comes back Tuesday*
Boss: Ok, show me the website...
Me: ....
Boss: ....
Me: I didn't say which Tuesday....2 -
Internet... ..
Googles how to fix the notification delay.
1 hr later.........
At YouTube looking at a video of how to give mouth to mouth to a fish 😮6 -
After moving to SSD I noticed I'm too slow for my computer. When it finishes working I can feel it asking me "you done thinking m8?"4
-
- Which operating system do you have? Windows?
- Nah, I have LibrOffice
- ...
If you weren't my sister I would have slapped you.10 -
How do mobile sites know when I'm about to tap a link, and then load something and shift everything so that I tap the wrong link?9
-
Client: so how could we test this 😬
Me: you know what, send me an email at linuxxx@companyname.com and I can look if I can properly reply! Keep in mind though that this is for one time only, no further questions through that email address!
Client: Yes of course! *sends email*
Me: *tests* - *works fine* - *messages client back through the ticket system*
Client: *proceeds to send two follow up questions to my fucking work email address*
Me: *selects emails* - *marks emails as spam and deletes them*
Fucking seriously?! Cunt.21 -
New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.10 -
Teacher: "Whats that key thingy?"
Class: "You mean the keyboard?"
Teacher: "Yes, that one!"
I shit you not, she was my IT educator for a year.
Send help.5 -
!rant
I was in a hostel in my high school days.. I was studying commerce back then. Hostel days were the first time I ever used Wi-Fi. But it sucked big time. I'm barely got 5-10Kbps. It was mainly due to overcrowding and download accelerators.
So, I decided to do something about it. After doing some research, I discovered NetCut. And it did help me for my purposes to some extent. But it wasn't enough. I soon discovered that my floor shared the bandwidth with another floor in the hostel, and the only way I could get the 1Mbps was to go to that floor and use NetCut. That was riskier and I was lazy enough to convince myself look for a better solution rather than go to that floor every time I wanted to download something.
My hostel used Netgear's routers back then. I decided to find some way to get into those. I tried the default "admin" and "password", but my hostel's network admin knew better than that. I didn't give up. After searching all night (literally) about how to get into that router, I stumbled upon a blog that gave a brief info about "telnetenable" utility which could be used to access the router from command line. At that time, I knew nothing about telnet or command line. In the beginning I just couldn't get it to work. Then I figured I had to enable telnet from Windows settings. I did that and got a step further. I was now able to get into the router's shell by using default superuser login. But I didn’t know how to get the web access credentials from there. After googling some and a bit of trial and error, I got comfortable using cd, ls and cat commands. I hoped that some file in the router would have the web access credentials stored in cleartext. I spent the next hour just using cat to read every file. Luckily, I stumbled upon NVRAM which is used to store all config details of router. I went through all the output from cat (it was a lot of output) and discovered http_user and http_passwd. I tried that in the web interface and when it worked, my happiness knew no bounds. I literally ran across the floor screaming and shouting.
I knew nothing about hiding my tracks and soon my hostel’s admin found out I was tampering with the router's settings. But I was more than happy to share my discovery with him.
This experience planted a seed inside me and I went on to become the admin next year and eventually switch careers.
So that’s the story of how I met bash.
Thanks for reading!10 -
Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳7 -
"Your public key is a lot like a Jayden Smith tweet, it turns content into confusing, meaningless garbage before sending it out to the internet"
Dead. XD3 -
My CS professor just told my class of 200 people that 1 is a prime number.
You can practically hear centuries of mathematicians rolling over in their graves7 -
!dev
Just found out my house's heating system relies on this. A button, being held down by a bolt held by a zip tie. Who in their right mind looked at this, was like "this is fine" and left it there.
My dad, apparently.
11 -
Last year I got an Acer notebook from a guy that stated that "it isn't working". "Okay" I thought, let's boot it up.
> Screen turns on, no splash screen, no hard drive activity
> Well fuck
> Tries to enter BIOS, nothing
> Openes case to reset CMOS
> Nothing
> Okay I think I need to flash a new BIOS
> Acer support site
> "Download the exe to flash the BIOS"
> What
> Spend two hours researching
> Find out that you can flash via USB and by pressing a key combination
> Extract the BIOS binary from the exe file
> Flash it on the notebook
> Splash screen and working BIOS
> Yay!!!
> No bootable devices found
> Fuck
> Connects hdd with test bench
> Completely fucking dead
> WTF
> Order a new hard drive
> 3 days later
> Install hdd
> Install Windows
> Finally working
WTF did you do to this notebook to not only mechanically break your hdd but also fuck up the BIOS completely??!!14 -
So I'm learning 2D game dev in java.
(I know)
Being stubborn I'm coding everything myself because, you know who needs libraries.😅
And
Holy toenails ,I have mad respect for the guys who build game engines. Especially 3d engines.
Y'all are beasts.29 -
When you drink a little too much and wake up to find you wrote a program called baconTranslator that translates everything you type to 'I love bacon"...10
-
While I'm in pause time with my colleagues and reading on wiki how, the boss comes to me and asks:
Boss: what are you reading?
Me: how to Quit Your Job Graciously 😊
Boss: 😐
The next day the boss offered me a +€0,50 p/hour.3 -
Tester: I'm going to start testing your Android code. How do I set up it?
Me: just bring me an Android test device and I'll show you
Tester: *comes back holding a big golden phone*
Me: *huh? Haven't seen that Android device before... I wonder which manufacturer made it*
Tester: *puts down golden phone on my desk* here you go!
Me: 😱😱😱😱
...
HUH? This is an iPhone!!!!
😩😱😧😖😰😫😵😱😱5 -
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
Fuck y'all4 -
I've got a mini stroke today. My project ended and I got delegated elsewhere.
"It's going to be fine, it's c++, you will find yourself there"
Suspicious, it's a project everybody was staying out of as hard as they can. But hey, it's cool, how bad can it be? what can go wrong with that?
Reality was brutal, project that uses Boost C++ as framework and bjam as builder. Builds with a decent dose of luck, and only under special circumstances, only under one specific version of compiler. No docs, quartet of the code is in Fortran, just to use ancient lisp part which was second qarter. The most senior Dev around does not have idea how it all works. Also everything is inside one enormous try/catch block. Because of the reasons.
That's how people end up with severe alcoholism and meth addiction.8 -
I was almost finished a website when the client changed their mind and decided that what they actually wanted was an app for Android and iOS because that's apparently what I promised them.
I double-checked the contract to make sure. It said I was building them a website that would be tested for mobile-friendliness on browsers from phones using Android and iOS. :/4 -
OK! all you windows haters.
This is why i totally love windows to death.
it has awesome features no other OS has...
like, installing updates to office and Skype when they are not even installed, there's not even a registry entry anywhere for them!!
now show me another OS that updates non existing software and ill be all over it!
On a serious note, does anyone know how windows would think office and Skype are installed since I can’t find a single trace of them anywhere?
26 -
If I keep ignoring issues they'll eventually overflow and I'll have a negative amount of bugs, right?4
-
This is an old screen that I took some years ago and never had a good place to share...
Hope this helps someone to choose the right language :D
https://postimg.org/image/454565eej
10 -
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 35. One to actually change the bulb and 34 to say after the fact, "I could have done that better."11 -
That moment when your game appears on some Formula 1 Hungarian website and your server's network transfer is gone from 10 GB left to 2 GB left in just 2 days... But still - I'm proud of myself
http://formula.hu/parc-ferme/16549
10 -
My god people = shit...
“The *insert website here* isn’t working, I need you to fix it”
- Everything’s good on our end, it’s their end that needs to be checked.
“Why can’t you fix it...!?”
Oh... I don’t know, perhaps it’s because I don’t fucking work for them you cock munch!!
I don’t get paid enough to deal with stupid fucking people. Where the FUCK is your common sense?
I work for “X”, THAT means that if something is wrong with “Y”, I have NO control over it you cock breath having fuck stain.
That’s like ordering tacos from McDonald’s and getting pissed off because they look at your like your mother should have swollowed... NO SHIT!3 -
Other students:
#define redLed 2
#define yellowLed 3
#define greenLed 4
void setup ()
{
pinMode(redLed, OUTPUT);
pinMode(yellowLed, OUTPUT) ;
pinMode(greenLed, OUTPUT) ;
}
Me:
void setup ()
{
for (int i=2;i<5;i++)
pinMode (i, OUTPUT);
}
Proff - This code is wrong it won't work. Where have you specified red led, green led, yellow led?
Me - wtf! Code doesn't know which led is used in what pin it's just pin numbers!
Gave me less marks 😑
P. S. I wrote comments in my code specifying which pin will have what led connected 😑14 -
The worst feeling is writing so many lines of code knowing you could do it in a more concise way if you just had time to think about it but you don't.1
-
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: What? No ways!!
Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: Hell ya !! 😘
.
.
.
Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓5 -
Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.
A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).
So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.
I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.
I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.
How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.12 -
Conversation between two freshmen overheard two days ago... They where talking about a webpage that should (or shouldn't) refresh every 30 seconds or so to display an always up-to-date stock for some product.
G1 : "I'd do it in PHP"
G2 : "Dude, no, that'd be a lot of load on the server if a great lot of people were on the site. Imagine, every 30 seconds, it would receive a request, access to the DB, generate the webpage, respond to the request, for like, 1000 or 10000 requests at a time! You update the value client-side."
G1 : "How'd you do it?"
G2 : "JQuery, my friend. You know JavaScript right? It's like scripting in the browser. Well, JQuery is... how to say it... JQuery is JavaScript but able to do requests to servers without reloading the page."
I stopped listening because I had to repress my impulse to interfere to explain a thing or two.11 -
Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.
Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:
ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.
How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.
I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.
How. In. The. Living. Hell.12 -
So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).
So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.
Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...11 -
I was searching through StackOverflow when I found this guy:
He is using a "dot operator" in LINQ at the end of the Query
Example:
a.Where().
Select();
Not
a.Where()
.Select();
How barbaric2 -
Recently I came upon this:
*image attached*
It's a guide of how to speak in a programer's language🧐.
3 -
Just solved two huge bugs in a private project without using Stack Overflow... Since when am I even able to do this? What happened to me?2
-
!rant
Boss challenged me to get something done before a demo and he'd give me tomorrow off paid. I completed the task on the time and at the end of the day told him I was leaving for another position. He was totally calm, cool, professional and still gave me tomorrow off paid. I don't know how that happened. Life is good.4 -
!rant
Look what I just found!
http://xidea.online
A Legit Public JetBrains Activation Server that activates almost ANY software22 -
How to make Xcode crash:
1. type: self.btn
2. Profit!
I need to add this on my CV as an expert in making xcode crash, not implying that Xcode is a shit IDE !!6 -
When I was a kid I used to spend a lot of time using computers: when I was 4 y/o my aunt used to go for me at school and she took care of me (and sometimes my brother) while my parents were at work, she's a graphic designer so she had a Mac or something like that (that was in 2002 and it was an old model) and to not annoy her she putted random music videos there (also the reason why I have the music taste that I have); when I was 6 or 7 y/o my dad was fired and my mom got a job in the capital city but my parents didn't wanted to moved because they thought that that could somehow affect me and my brother in a negative way so without having my mom around I could do whatever I wanted so after school I used the computer all the time; this continued 4 years and I started to be curious about how the computer that I always was using worked; when I was 11 y/o my parent bought me a notebook and I started to investigate about computers but then I read something about html and I really wanted to know what it was; when I was 12 y/o my parents changed me to other school (I was starting what in US may be junior high) and all the students had to chose a workshop for each year so I chose graphic design and was very disappointed because we did nothing at class, except for that when the teacher decided to teach us html and I really wanted to know I hoped that the rest of the year she kept doing it but it was just one class and then she told us to use wix.com... But I never stoped asking "how do computers work?" so for what can be considered in US high school I decided to apply for one with technological careers, specifically computer sciences and I was accepted. It is an 8 semesters career (a normal high school here is only 6 semesters) but I thought it was worth it. On 2nd semester I learned to write "programs" with pseudo code and I loved to do it, I made a lot of things with that limited tool... :") Then, in 3rd grade I was introduced to C and since that day I'm definitely not the same. It's been 2 years now and I it's really beautiful to remember that I'm who I'm thanks to the little girl that never stoped asking questions. :')2
-
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.
Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...15 -
Rant, but also want to know, how the fuck do you accidentally drop a database link. In production. On the most important database. Housing our biggest applications.8
-
So, guys, tomorrow I have to tell my boss that I'm quitting. What is the best way to do so?
I imagine he's going to be pretty angry and most probably kick off because he's going to have to replace me (and that's going to be very difficult as I'm the "lead developer", devops, SysAdmin, the designer and the IT department and he only has £23,000 salary to offer).
I don't want to be an assehole about it because I really like my colleagues.18 -
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.
2 -
April fools day prank idea:
1. Replace all semicolons with Greek question marks
2. Add a Gradle task that automatically fixes the semicolons, but only when run on the build servers
3. Watch as people get confused because the code builds in the server but not locally3 -
WHAT THE FUCK? IS THIS REAL?
I got a call from a managment institute asking me if I have any MBA plans after graduation.
I said no and asked the person where did he get my number.
He said: Google
Like how? How does this even work? HOW?23 -
Learning a new programming language:
1. reading basics
2. creates small programs
3. plan new projects
4. search everything else in the internet
5. output: we have become code gods
*winks at stack overflow and github*5 -
Wtf!
0. My name is not Den
1. I never registered an account at Wallmart
2. I don't live in the USA
3. How the fuck did my e-mail end up in their DB
19 -
You wanted to hear more about my "glorious" teacher. I deliver. So get a cup of tea, take a seat and prepare for insanity.
As I already told in a comment my programming teacher is one special snowflake who lives in his personal bubble. We have final exams in less than a month and he spents at least half a lesson talking about vanishing bees and missing plants from his garden. Other topics he likes to talk about (and tries to turn every freaking conversation into at least one of these):
1. Other students and their stupidity
2. Diesel scandal
3. His sick wife
4. "Why does noone read newspapers anymore?"
5. Why he can't teach Java but really really really wants to and everyone hates him and forces him to do C#.
Even if I try to interrupt him he'll go on until he thinks we gained some "common knowledge" - this is how he justifies these topics.
Everytime he introduced us to a new command he compared it to Java and sometimes he even falsely corrects code because he confuses them.
We are only 6 people including me (another story for another time) and he is not able to help everyone during a 90min lesson. He normally sticks with one person for at least one hour and just talks to them or even do their tasks. This is really annoying if you have a simple question. He won't answer you until he's finished whatever he's doing.
Most of the time he doesn't seem to understand what he's talking about/trying to teach us. He's muttering statements from our textbook to himself switching halfway through to another sentence while drawing not decipherable shit on the blackboard.
Another gem are his "guidelines" for classtests. We are allowed to use any command we know. Except the ones we learned not in class. And the ones he doesn't like. And the ones he doesn't want to exist. And of course not the ones which make you're life easier. So basically we are bound to use his favourite commands or we won't get a good grade. Example: use an array. List is not allowed. Never.
He has some weird fetish with arrays.
I once presented him perfectly fine code I wrote in my freetime and asked what some warnings meant. (Was because of different Visual studio versions as I learned later.) He scolded me for using things he didn't taught us yet and ranted about how I'm pressuring him into rushing these things now - I never wanted to show this to my classmates nor was this anything else than a project for fun and learning something new. (FYI the "new stuff" where classes and objects because i was tired of kilometers of spaghetti code). His rant went on a good 20minutes and - obviously - he didn't answer my question. I asked my fiance that evening and he explained it to me.
This should it be for this time. I'm sure I have more stories to tell for another time!
Thank you for reading. ^^6 -
That moment when you wrote 69 lines of javascript code for calculator and you are happy with yourself and than find some guy who solved it in 18 lines of code. :(9
-
I've run into problems with the app I'm working on, the problems are related to issues regarding code.
No in fact it's related the last guy who wrote the app, the code has no comments and the variable names make no sense, the only comments in the code are blocks of code... With no reason as to why it was commented.
I have to add in some checks to determine if a person that has logged in is a full member or not (full member has access to the feature I've added) and the way the guy has made this app works makes no sense to me at all.
I've tried my best to avoid all contact with his code because it makes me want to yell out in frustration.
But for this one case I have to work with what's there.
I know I've mentioned this before but I've hit my limit yet again.
And for those who don't know this guy managed to scrape together skeleton code from two apps to make part of this app, rather than using parts of the other apps he left out code that was specifically made for the other apps, (majority of the commented out code).
One app was a taxi app and from the looks of it the feature he used was to get GPS location (which I don't understand before Google maps is a think after all... The taxi app USES Google maps), the other app is some sort of funeral webcasting app (I found code imports for it, without any actual code).
I don't actual understand how this guy could put this together without not thinking "maybe this is a bad idea"
Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live
I'm that psychopath right now..... Fuck that guy (don't know where he lives though)2 -
After months of hard work, we finally released our product. Only for the PM to send this out as the announcement email..
3 -
Customer: Do you need my computer password?
Me: Yes, I do. Why don't you write it down for me? *fills out work order form while she writes down her password*
Customer: Here you go *slides me sticky note with password on it*
Me: *usual spiel about computer repair stuff*
Customer: *leaves*
Me: *to Coworker* So this lady's password is "AmishForLife* (modified for security purposes).
Coworker: On her iPad?!
Me: And her computer, yes
Coworker: *laughs*
Me: I wonder how well that's working out for her... -
When you release something you expect will fade into obscurity and it gets over 4k downloads in 2 months...
6 -
"You should record video tutorials of how to do stuff", people say to me.
#1 - I suck on camera. I have a really annoying nasally voice that I just can't stand to hear in my own head, let alone on video.
#2 - I look like every stupid a--hole fat old ugly white guy people love to hate. Nobody wants to see that.
#3 - I suck at remembering what the f$$# I was going to say to begin the video, to show the thing I was going to show, and how to end it without sounding like a complete #@#%@# moron.
#4 - %@%$#@ QuickTime! And any other video screen recording software that NEVER $%#@#$% WORKS for me!! I'll be in the middle of a very complex process I'm demonstrating and BAM! The whole recording crashes. Six takes and six more crashes later and I'm @#%#@# done with trying to do this #@$@#%.
Screenshots and text it is and always will be.9 -
Can I just say that the absolute most important skill for any kind of programmer or engineer is knowing HOW TO FUCKING GOOGLE!!!
<Background>
I am the head of programing on my school's Robotics Team. We're relatively know, however most all of my teammates know how to program and they are all very talented academically. In fact my "Lieutenant" will be the valedictorian.
</Background>
Seriously I missed one meeting yesterday because of the flu. Imagine me lying in bed and suddenly getting multiple calls from the team (even the valedictorian) asking how to fix errors from Android Studio. I asked them if they googled them and they said "No we didn't".
Why is knowing how to google not apart of any kind of CS education! They could have been after an hour, but NOOO it took them after 5 hours!!
Oh my FUCKING GOD!!5 -
Fuck Swift is garbage. 😡
How did such a promising language turn into such a steaming 💩??
This may be controversial but I think open-sourcing it may have been a huge mistake.15 -
This rant affects me indirectly.
It was our diploma project, me, and DrugKidProgrammer.
He was lazy, late, and all the shit that comes with and used to party hard on weekend.
I told him that while on vacation he’d better fucking manage to get the backend done, or at least ready to debug.
Guess what?
Guy was on alcohol and probably on lsd for most period of vacation and he managed to write the PHP files... with Javascript syntax.
Well, actually it was mixed.
When he came back he gave me the files he worked on (no version control at the time), and nothing was working, 500 errors everywhere. When I opened the files I found out String concaténations using ‘+’ and shit like this.
I spend 1 and a half day correcting this shit.
Fuck you mate.2 -
So Microsoft removed the transparency Aero Glass effect going from Windows 7 to 10, to make 10 more "modern", even though 7 was pretty as fuck with that transparency.
Now they're bringing it back with their wanky "acrylic" blur?
Make up your mind Microsoft7 -
Me: can you add x to y?
Dev: sure mate, done tomorrow
Me: kay thx
Next day:
Dev: ok I added x to z! There you go
Me: infinite facepalm4 -
"I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing it out"
Yes, and I'm going to point out that you're throwing insults around like a maniac, which makes your "opinion" seem emptier and emptier, until it resembles your cerebral matter as if it was a shadow copy of it. Fuck you.1 -
I got a magical IR remote!
When i press and hold that button to dim down my RGB LED strip, my Bluetooth speaker turns on!
10 -
That moment when you ask a question on StackOverflow and didn't get any down votes or comments for it being an "unfit" question 😁4
-
Why do people jump from c to python quickly. And all are about machine learning. Free days back my cousin asked me for books to learn python.
Trust me you have to learn c before python. People struggle going from python to c. But no ml, scripting,
And most importantly software engineering wtf?
Software engineering is how to run projects and it is compulsory to learn python and no mention of got it any other vcs, wtf?
What the hell is that type of college. Trust me I am no way saying python is weak, but for learning purpose the depth of language and concepts like pass by reference, memory leaks, pointers.
And learning algorithms, data structures, is more important than machine learning, trust me if you cannot model the data, get proper training data, testing data then you will get screewed up outputs. And then again every one who hype these kinds of stuff also think that ml with 100% accuracy is greater than 90% and overfit the data, test the model on training data. And mostly the will learn in college will be by hearting few formulas, that's it.
Learn a language (concepts in language) like then you will most languages are easy.
Cool cs programmer are born today😖
31 -
Anyone advice on how one could achieve a high upload 'rate' with a seedbox seeding Linux iso's?
It seeding more than 10 iso's but the overall up speed is 10kbs .____.15 -
How did you find devRant? I was on YouTube watching a video then a Wix ad came up. After listening to the first sentence "Learn how to design your own website..." I stopped the video because of how bullshit it was. I went to Google and type in: "Wix is shit" and found a small rant here with the literal string. I decided to make an account and comment on it. But my comment was too long so I shaved a few words off. And went to the feed when I was done and liked the content.18
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Fuck I wish designers learnt colour theory before presenting me with a light colour to go on a white background. Like fuck? It’s not even grey at least.
And the complimentary colours are so shit I think I’ll go throw up after an Indian dinner and colour pick from that mess instead. (I like Indian food ok...)
How hard is it to go, NOPE that’s a shit colour we probably shouldn’t use that????4 -
One sentence to fail almost any coder or related job interview:
"my code is so good, sometimes even I can't comprehend it."1 -
About to post my first question on SO.
Wish me luck.
How should I word a question without getting downvoted into Oblivion.
(Fucking polymer)8 -
how does devRant make any kind of profit? I mean it's free, they have swag giveaways, server cost and maintenance, development, etc...??9
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!rant
As a self taught, I used to break what i want to learn into pieces and watch tutorials where people use these pieces. Then I could easily do what I learned, but I could do it exactly how I learned it from the tutorials.
Until one glorious day I found a tutorial about js that doesnt teach you the "how" of things but the "why" of things.
I cant describe how easy and in depth I understand js tutorials now. It is easier even when I have to learn a new framework.
It feels like I fast-forwarded my knowledge growth overnight.
I now see my 3 weeks old code and it disgusts me.6 -
I see loads of students here.. and loads of freelancers and startup joiners.. all varieties...but one.. Anyone has a 'normal' 9-5 or sth (dev) work? Does that even exist?! Anyone stands up when the 8h are up and can leave the work behind?
I can't.. even when I leave the office I have algos & code stuck in my head..trying to solve the problem I worked on..
How do you handle non dev life? Is there anything left in a day?
I usually work monday-friday on avg 9h/day and have no idea how to manage not being fucked up at the end of the week. :\ I am trying to get back climbing, but usually I am just soooooo tiiiiireeeeeed after work.. I wanna sleep but when I close my eyes I see the code.. at least one core still left working..20 -
"You should put your homework on Github so I can find it easily"
I'm not sure I want my teacher to look into my github page. I mean what if he finds my Discord bot? How would he feel about my tts command saying "f*ck bitchies, get money" when someone say "love" or "poor" in a chat-room? Will he judge me?16 -
So, here I am at a guided internship programme, hosted by Indian Railways.
They told us to report at the Personnel Office by 10:00 AM. When I reached there, they told us the venue has been changed (to a place 1km away, with no transportation) and the official "forgot" to inform the 500+ candidates.
Yet, we moved to the said Hall, and am waiting for 1 hour (10:59 AM here), watching :
1. The stupid technician trying to align the projector
2. The stupid presenter trying to copy something and failing, as his pen drive gets disconnected halfway the process.
3. The VIPs having snacks and coffee on-stage while we the students wait here looking at those dumb assholes.
How am I supposed to respect them tomorrow at work?12 -
How do you usually learn a new language?
My way is to start a project, then figure it out as I go.
I find that books and tutorials are usually better reserved for learning concepts or frameworks.2 -
so I had a very important video conference for some rather large cloud infrastructure that Im engineering. I decide to look "smart" so i decided to wear a jersey during the video call. I aced the meeting, happy people all round. I walk to my room and my wife says "you do know your jersey is inside out...and back to front..and the label is sticking out from under your chin....How did the meeting go?" me:"..fine until you pointed out a look like a 2 year old dressed me !" ... well thats one way to kill the happy feels!3
-
If I was rich, I would hunt down every SJW on the Internet and offer that if they shut down all of their social media permanently, I would pay $100,000 to a charity that actually handles something they yap about.
This is under the strict condition that they tell none and don't give a peep about why their accounts shut down. Any leak resulting in "credit" to the SJW will result in an immediate reversal of the deal.
On the other hand, if they turn down the offer I will broadly publicize them by name that they're completely full of shit.
It's a win-win situation.8 -
A classmate's earphones once stopped working, I went to go look at it. After a bit of tinkering, I said, "The speakers on these are toast, you'll need a new pair." Then, some random kid grabbed the tablet mind you, and not the earphones, played in the settings, and said "Fixed." I then told them, "This is a hardware issue, not a software issue." What's worse? Some people said "So, software and hardware are the same thing."
Mississippi is just full of computer Illiterates.19 -
That moment when antivirus is draining your pc's performance like a blood sucking vampire. (bitdefender)9
-
Developer of said repo notices the influx of activity, but then just updates the readme by saying there are bugs, not fixing.
Bro I just gave you a PR. Take the fucking PR and that will fix the bugs. -
Portugal in August: heatwave coming from Africa
Portugal in October: polar wind coming from Iceland5 -
There. I fixed the bug. Tested every way possible 10 times and it won’t break. I’m awesome.
Tells a tester I have a phone with the new app-version installed for testing on my desk when he has time.
He just... came to my room. I gave him the phone. He looks at it, does SOMETHING and just ”Ya man, I broke it”.... whaaaat O.o2 -
!rant, just wanted to share
I invited some coworkers I count as friends to a drink on friday after work..
One of them replied: I hope it's your birhday..Right?? You're not giving up on us & resigning?8 -
Been developing a Java app for 3 months, including basically everything from aop to rest services.
Meeting with po:
Me: So, guess how many loc I wrote.
Po: 400?
Me: *laughs* I'll get to 10.000 this week.
MAN COMES IN WITH CHANGING REQUIREMENTS ON AN HOURLY BASIS YET STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH WORK ALL THIS SHIT IS!!1 -
So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).
The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.
I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ
What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.7 -
The kitchen at my office is pretty small, it fits a max of two people. Today morning while making a sandwich, an infrastructure dev walks in and proceeds to say... "I hope you don't mind me standing behind you, it's really not a Christian thing to do"... what?6
-
I wish I can fucking clone myself.
We have been providing digital marketing services for like 5 years without having a proper QA team. Well because we cannot afford to hire one. Technically I am supposed to check and control the quality of our operation team. But I have been juggling so many balls and couldn't do that properly.
So this year we decided that we have to seriously take care of that. But we are providing all kinds of services and creating a QA team for all those services is gonna be costly. We wanna solve it, but also doesn't wanna hang ourselves with another rope. So we have decided to just found a QA team with leaders from various departments mainly Sales and Customer Services. They are the ones who have talked with clients. So they should be able to judge the quality of the services our operation made.
It is a fucking nightmare. It is like we have doubled the amount of clients. And that extra half of those newly popped up clients are sitting in our office. -
me: *Tries a little change before going to sleep*
git: error: invalid object xyz
me: sure, fuck you too -
bought a windows license
built the pc
booted from usb
ask for license, put in bought license
installation seems normal
... windows isn't activated ... what?? how?? why is there a different key from the one i just entered?? and why does it still deny it when i try to change the key to my bought one?? y u do dis?😩
does anyone have an idea, what could be causing that?34 -
I once had a client that lived near by and I had setup a server in his office. One day he calls me begging for help because it keeps turning off... He put it in a sealed foam box to try to reduce it's noise. Temps were 80+ Celsius (176f) within 5 minutes of it booting.2
-
I'm still in denial that Dropbox did 1.1b$ in 2017, cash flow positive. Do they actually even get big clients? It has to be all enterprise, because I highly doubt any consumer actually purchases a Dropbox plan.10
-
I'm facing something really strange, in a coffee shop I go to usually, all downloads even if from terminal download speed is at best 200KB/s and at worst 50KB/s, but there is this game armored warfare, it reaches 2MB/s download speed on the same connection, while at home everything goes to max 200KB/s.
My question is, how do the devs at armored warfare do this? use max connection speed or are there any configs need to be changed so I can reach max speed in any downloading?34 -
My Team Lead: Hey do you know goofy?
Me: What is it?
TL: It's a new programming language
Me: *being suspicious* show me what are you dealing with
TL: *Shows me a Groovy code snippet*
Me: Yeah!! Your goofy is pretty good!! Enjoy! 😡1 -
How in the fuck do you start getting clients as a freelancer? Do I just throw stuff on my GitHub and pray someone hits me up on Fiverr? Upwork won't accept my account and it's been fucking four months of me trying. I took to becoming a full-time designer to push our startup's products to completion but a fucking failure over there too everytime.
Everything is a fucking shitfest and I'm just whining at this point but I needed to take this off of my fucking chest. A good fucking day to you too.8 -
You know you're dedicated to a phone when you spend about an hour with a blow dryer to the back aluminum cover(can't remove it since super breakable glass strip) heating the area where the cpu is to cause the solder to reflow while trying to not explode the battery or burn yourself, all because Google and Huawei refuse to touch the device since it's a few months after warrenty. The joys of owning a Nexus 6p.. Fortunately this was my friend's phone but at least I'm ready for when it happens to mine lol which is something noone should be saying in reality.
7 -
How to NOT handle dates!
Do not put the date to "mdy" format, today would be 050217.
Working on an intranet for some multi-billion corporation, and was wondering why events from last year were showing.
Last year's events were 28th of October, 2016, and was showing as upcoming events :)
Checked the code, and saw this. Quick fix, turned dates to UNIX timestamp, and it worked.
2 -
!rant
Hey all! I kinda started a YouTube channel on Computer Science and basically development... I would very much like the opinion of u all ☺️
If u wanna watch the video, here is the prologue:
https://youtu.be/dqQSGaeLrIg
And here is the first actual video on installing Manjaro Linux... (quite long at 31 minutes though):
https://youtu.be/6KwGLuBBALo
I hope u all give me some feedback 😊😊
Thanks a lot for your time! 🤗3 -
Client: “I’m trying to register on behalf of someone else but it’s saying my email address is already in use!”
Me [internally]: “Wait, you seriously thought you could register multiple accounts with the same email?”3 -
Wtf is this shit .... why the hell is so much fees even accepted as normal
(Ps - you can get a decent i5 with amd gpu and dos for 40k)
11 -
Need to implement something huge on a app that I'm working on.
The design team is not from my company.
All the design that I have is in a PDF that I can't extract the images and they are low res.
How the actual fuck do they expect me to do a good job if I don't even have the design and assets to work with -
I think it's incredibly sad that one of the first serious discussions I ever have with my child will be how to Google yourself effectively, to do it at least once a week and how to go about getting certain things removed (If you can) 😕2
-
Fucking fuck shit monkeycocksucking gargling wtf!
I was getting some stuff done in my accounting software and it bugged me that the fields were dark and the fonts as well, thus seeing fucking shit. This was clearly a bad choice of a gtk3 dark theme, thus i switched to the fucking default adwaita, suddenly gnome session crashes.
Ok, i just log out and log back in.
Logout.... Nothing happens.... Ctrl-alt-backspace , nothing happens (and i knew i enabled that in the settings)
Ok let's do it a bit more forceful and restart the display manager... Gdm starts... I insert my credentials... It fucking crashes.
WTF!!!
I desperately try to debug it, xsession error msg'es? Nope. Something in /var/log/messages? Nope. Something, anything at all, nope sherlock nopedinope!
About to go batshit crazy, purging and reinstalling all of gnome, thibking that, what ever setting lust have broke it, it will be fixed now.
No fucking fuck desktop!!!
I lost my nerve and replaced gdm with lightdm, and i finally, after three hours wasted on my machine, i get my gnome desktop back... But in a state of mess! Extensions don't work and make it crash again, user themes? Nope, go fuck yourself with plain default.
I'm really losing my shit, business is almost non-existant, and now ly FUCKING desktop refuses to work like i want to. Everything is fucking broken to shits !!
I'm gon a go to my gf, and relax a little, at least i still have a working laptop.
Question is, for how long???
Fml4 -
Those who just code in their free time by passion (not for work), you dev :
- As soon as I feel like it, 4-5 lines on the IDE that runs in the background
- about ten minutes a day, but in an intense way
- About ten minutes every hour intensively.
- For hours like a zombie
- For hours, highly concentrated
- By objective, without stopping until the objective is reached
- Not often but when I'm motivated I code for 3 days in a row.
I will be very interested in your answers :D6 -
What's with JSON conditional evaluation?
How is it a good thing to add conditions to JSON?
Next in line:
Open vacancy: Full stack JSON developer -
On the way home from the office, my friend and I went to eat some satay*, and just shortly after we ate and reached home, he got an email from google asking him for a review of the place,
Talk about scary...
*satay is grilled meat on skewer, usually chicken or lamb, similar to yakitori in japan
7 -
You stupid lousy price of potato shit windows, yes that’s right - this pissed of windows user is pissed the fuck right off.
Here I am letting you sit there idling along and then I press the start button, you know that fucking button I press regularly for fucking years, only for you to go “fuck you, I’m going to blue screen instead” like what the flying fuck? There hasn’t been any updates in a while that I’ve noticed but this shit is just a shit.
So what ever, let’s reboot this mother fucker, oh wait now you can’t fucking boot, I can hear the hdd spinning a million miles an hour (coz non ssd) but noooo your just going to sit there like a dumb ass prick who doesn’t know what the fuck your doing.
So fine, let’s pull out that old USB with w10 on it and do a MBR repair... (coz nothing else will fucking work in your shit list of options) ok so apparently an MBR repair gets you booting.. but wait there’s more, now you useless piece of shit are going to run a scan disk which has sat at 0% for the past 20 minutes and I don’t think I’m ever going to see that fucker move, I get it you want to do something useful, but Fucking Do it already!
Like wtf, how does a stable system just decide to shit itself.
Oh and before you say it.. no I can’t install Linux on this piece of shit, see my previous rants for that problem.6 -
Well, I wanna specialize in low-level software as I get older. Everyone is telling me to go out and learn a processor architecture. I'm willing to be patient, so I do what people recommend to me and I download the Intel x86_64 manual. I was excited... UNTIL I REALIZED THE MANUAL WAS 4474 PAGES LONG! Like, how am I supposed to jump into assembly, machine language, and low-level programing with a beginner's task like that? I cannot find ANY resources online to simplify the transition, and college sure ain't gonna teach me anytime soon.10
-
Well. Fuck.
A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.
I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.
This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.
I'm feeling seriously dirty.1 -
I asked on StackOverflow how to use Angular2 and NodeJS together, that's the foundations of MEAN stack. The answer was "use a generator". SERIOUSLY? It's the stack most famous ever and nobody knows how to serve a fucking static folder without using a generator? What if I've already my own generator? What if I want just to add API to my current project? What if I just want to know what fucking is happening under the hood? What the fuck? Seriously? A generator? Oh my God! A generator!2
-
Wow... I haven't done complex/algorithmic level coding for maybe 6 months (yes that's how mindless my day job usually is)...
Now I just finished part of the code for a scheduling app I'm doing just for fun... Though there is also a use case at work but I don't have the free time to think about problems at this level... -
How did you come to know about devRant?
I was shopping stickers online, and the owner of that site referred me to devRant (personaly, we were having a chat via that contact us chatbox).
Share your stories, because I don't see any ads of devRant, so everything must be organic here...19 -
The ticket system blokes - episode 3
So we always had and have very awful performance with our ticket system. You can't get anything to load in under ~4s normally. Now since it has gotten worse over the last weeks i decided to set aside a few hours to closely watch our SQL server.
After i identified a culprit that was hogging the CPU almost every 2 minutes i looked at other long running queries in the server and found out where exactly the 4s come from.
6 tables from various DBs. Sure, no problem.
Left Outer Join. Sure, why not.
Querying every fucking column in every fucking table explicitly adding up to a whopping 160 columns which they need not even 10% of. We're talking about session IDs, passwords, stock count, IBANs and all that stuff to show the work done on a ticket. Absolutely not.
So i extracted the query and reduced it to the stuff we need and the execution time went from 4 seconds to almost instant.
The funny thing is that their idea of performance optimization is throwing LIMIT around everywhere to get these monstrous queries under control.
So in the next few days I'll have an appointment with their lead programmer. I'm looking forwards to it.
So out of curiosity: does anyone know an SQL builder or toolset that does shit like
SELECT X AS [t0_c0],
SELECT Y AS [t0_c1],
SELECT Z AS [t1_c0],
and so on? I'd like to know how they got to this point.4 -
I've seen a few posts on here; exclaiming their disdain when it comes to people finding out about how good they are with computers. And while yes Programming has nothing to do with "fixing" computers; I myself don't mind fixing other people's computers. It's fun and it's usually not completely related to programming. So that means I'm not really doing my job outside of the office.
5 -
Today when registering myself for a website I was asked to validate my email address. Literally I was sent an email with only "Please verify your email" in the body. So I responded with "ok". Lets see how long it takes for them to realise their mistake.3
-
Don't know what the exact deal with Microsoft's Edgy Explorer but ffs, everytime I open it to check how something is rendered it prompts to be default then gets salty when declined and pops the control panel, suggesting it as default...13
-
WTF?!? so apparently I guy I know, knows the guy who built dodeley.com (don't get me started on the name!)
Oh boy... Where should I begin? So besides the fact that I'm pretty sure these newsletters will be classified as spam (aites like mailchimp and so on actually pay large mail providers not to classify them as spam, I doubt they do...), their so called "widget" is just a form, sent to their domain using GET, FUCKING GET, NOT POST, GET!!! The request looks something like "dodeley.com/?action=subscribe&id=xxx&field1=xxx&..." I mean like, WTF? Oh and their solution to not leave the page is simply to add a target="_blank" to the form, that you have to include on your site.
Did I mention, that the form id is static? Did I mention, that there's no validation on what you enter?
Who the fuck programmed this shit? Honestly!1 -
Me: Bootstrap is the only thing I need!
Tutorials: Let's create our own css files for navigation
Devs: Don't rely on Bootstrap...
Me: Time to learn css
*Opens first bookmark (Stack overflow)* -
How to survive engineering class:
Finish assigned book work with a good hour and a half to spare before lunch block
Use websites such as translate.google.com and underget.com to bypass school firewall and web filter
Download pirated games (super hot, getting over it, kerbel space program, ect.)
Play said games until class ends9 -
Unity is the best UI ever! It rocks the UX world.
Windows 10 with unity interface would be purrfect.4 -
Was wondering, how dfox and trogus did it?
Was going through top rants of all time, and they categorized correctly, did they do it by hand?
I only checked first page, but that is a lot of work to do if they did it by hand1 -
In my Inbox, a mail trail with 3 people who concluded: "This is not working properly"
Me: "Looks like a config issue..."
Someone else: "Hey we've now checked the config, it looks fine"
Me: /goes and looks
Me: "But the required line is commented-out..." -
That moment when someone asks you, if they can get a Microsoft Office license for free from you.
Admit it! We have all tried it.4 -
Since I have the most multi-use role in development I have ever seen its been so long since I've had to use actual JS that I've completely forgotten what I'm supposed to be doing with it.
1 -
So.. name one fucken case where your database is not a computer backed thing.
Just asking because.. why the fuck? I don't think your database server supports input of fucking math symbols? JUST USE HUMAN LANGUAGE, AS YOU HAVE TO DO ANYWAY!
It's stupid how everything needs to be expressed mathematically ffs. Not that it's hard to understand - it's just more complex than of a very simple wording.
6 -
Chemists recently "compiled" a programming language into chemicals! I'll admit that I have no clue how it works, but they were able to get a mathematical function working without any electronics. The article I read doesn't describe the speed of the reaction, so I'm not sure if it's really useful as a replacement for computer operations.4
-
Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
...
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1 -
Windows got upgraded to creators update.
Ever since it has updated, the battery life has decreased drastically, laptop used to last around 8.5 hours of daily usage, now its down to 3.
WTF, man.
I know surface has got its pro's, but shit, 5 hours of battery loss is no joke and certainly a big task to achieve.5 -
It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.3
-
Always trying to plan a bit ahead. Today I've planned to sleep between 1am and 8am (a bit longer since today I've slept just 4 hours). And then do some work.
Well, failed to sleep at all... Still got to do some server optimizations..
How do you guys force yourself to sleep when you have to do planned "recharging" instead of on demand?3 -
I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.4 -
Word is spreading that CNN, which is owned by Time Warner, got a reddit users IP from their mods, and with their relation to Time Warner, got his identity.
Then extorted him to apologize or be revealed.
This is huge, and we don't even know its the only time it has happened.
VPNs may not even truly protect you if the ISP can connect the dots over time, with time stamps.
Holy shit, CNN just weaponized ipv4
1 -
Have you ever wondered why !important is even working? Imagine this:
element {
color: #FF0000 !important;
}
It literally means the red color is NOT IMPORTANT. And this overwrites previous CSS rules such as in this example, previous element.color. Like seriously, where is the logic here? :D17 -
Has to be writing.
Not exactly a better dev, per se, but close enough.
I used to read books and imagine all sorts of possible scenarios to different events. One day, after replaying the Mass Effect series, I began to think about alternate ways to end it. Opened Libre Office and started hammering away. 10 minutes later, I had an outline. Never actually finished that story, but the spark was there.
I began noting down outlines and creating structures for interesting games and books; that soon carried over to my work. Before and after every meeting with my boss, I'd have outlined how the meeting was going to go, and how it actually went. Gave me a sense of order.
This in turn helped me be a better manager (I work with a team of 9), and I tell you guys, it couldn't have come at a better time. I had been promoted quite suddenly, and had been fucking up quite a bit at the start.
I had my shit in order. My team was happier and more efficient. My boss was happy. I was given bigger goals and tighter deadlines. I fucking loved it.
All this, from writing some fanfiction. (there, I said it!)
P. S: I stared at this for a solid minute, still not sure how it all came together.1 -
So, a few days ago I went on an interview for a position as a web developer, and during the interview they tell me they are thinking about getting into hosting, and that if they decide to do so I would be the one responsible for managing all of it.
I have no idea how to set up web servers, let alone make sure they can handle heavy loads and so on, so I'd be taking on a huge responsibility and workload, along with the task of making websites.
The company consists of 5 designers, and at the moment, no developers, and they have about 30-40 customers, all with sites that would need to be moved to the new hosting platform.
My question to you all is this:
How much does quality hosting equipment cost, and is it really worth it for such a small company to get into hosting, or should they rather look to make a deal with an existing host for some kind of monthly kickback/rebate?
I'm thinking they should find an existing host and enter some kind of partnership, as that would be easier and safer than doing all the hosting inhouse.
What do you guys and girls think?6 -
Experience doesnt equate number of years you worked. It acummulate through each problem/challenge we solve everyday. What your view, please share.2
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WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.
Are you trying to tell me that 'oops that C written Javascript library just crashed by a WTFCrash within a Java VM'?
Eh What!? I mean what?!
Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...
5 -
Reading in a while for a slackbot creation tutorial. Then suddenly, a random note appears:
"Be sure to use version 0.3.0 of slackbots as newer version are not perfectly compatible with what's illustrated in this tutorial."
THEN UPDATE YOUR TUTORIAL!
DO NOT! WASTE MY TIME! -
The Nintendo switch has been out for a while now. The one thing no one has ever addressed, how are the joy-cons charged?! I can't see any connections in between the console and the controller. And teardowns don't reveal induction coils.8
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One of my friends just royally pissed me off by deciding to repeat some crap she heard on TV about suicide being very selfish. I have depression and she's just taken a huge shit on mental health I'm. She can be a stupid cow sometimes...3
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!rant
So as my recent rants might have conveyed, my job has been pretty shitty lately. So as we do I started looking around for other openings. Not that I would take them right away, but I want to know. This led to a realization that I'm literally at the best paying, top rated, firm doing the best work in nearly a nearly 100 mile radius of my home. There's a few government jobs that want top secret and 10 years experience, but for anything less than that my current position is literally the best. This is not what I expected the top to be like. And the fact that it took me over a year to realize that I'm actually at the top and have been is super weird.
Thing is I don't know what I expected the top to be like nor did I expect to be here so quickly after finishing school.
I know this is dev rant not dev ramble but this was one of those formative moments where I just really don't know how to process this info.
Anybody had similar feelings? Like looking for someone to help and realizing, not in a egotistical way, just in a sobering way, that you are literally the best and most qualified person out there.3 -
> uses two workstations
> Forgets to commit code on one before moving to the other
> Works on the other and pushes
> Brain does what it's great at and forgets how to reset to HEAD
> Brain convinces me the only way to handle the issue was to commit my half-working code and then pull
It was only 5 o'clock. What the fuck.
-
I don't know if I should call this a rant or not. I spent most of X-mas hacking away my code I haven't touched over a year and released the library to NuGet. Woot!
This has to be the way devs should spent holidays
-
My code works.
Well, it should, but not like this.
I've set some datas to a nested form, saved by a variable named 'stat1', however the code won't work unless I use a variable named 'fields'. Not 'stat1'. I'm only 24 years old and I already feel too old for this shit.3 -
Just a rant I sent to discord instead of devRant
( Hope you can read it with all the compression )
6 -
!dev
I need to stop buying things...
I just bought a Keurig and some coffee because it was on sale for Cyber Monday...
And well I've been buying other discretionary things like crazy for the last few months... including lots of cakes and chocolates...
Which prolly adds up to over $500 in 3 months...
Damn should've gotten a new credit card... All that spending would've gotten me $150 back... -
Lets make sure that we are always using the latest software! Keep things up to date#
..... (new version of bulma.io comes out)
..... (Updating libraries...)
.....
Why is the website all fucked up looking?
Shit they changed the padding level on like everything?!
..... Reverting back to older version, fuck that idea.2 -
Has anyone ever had an eBay addiction... I think I may have "25 days of Christmas" coming in the next few weeks....
Yes that's how much stuff I've randomly bought/might end up buying if I win the auctions...
I really should stop...3 -
Damn you OVH... You and your goddamn deals again... Now I ended up buying 2 domains for a project again. We all know I'll leave the domain in my cloudflare "keychain" without using it until it expires, because I'll find a fancier and more fun project 😅
I'm at 12 domains right now... I think I might be addicted 🤔
Btw, theres a sick deal going on over at OVH, .com is only 1,20€... Better get your project domain which you'll probably never use again now 😂4 -
!rant I need a TL:DR for custom ROMS, I already know what they are, what they do, I need to know how useful they are and where I can start!
Thanks!9 -
So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!1
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Just recently got a new job.
On the old jobs we've always held connection via mail, slack, fb messenger groups and whatever.
But on this new IT job they have this really weird theory of that when you want something, you've to stand up, walk to the coworkers booth, and use this super odd "voice" communication.
Such a barbaric routine!2 -
I just noticed that I haven't touched an IDE or any of my own code since June. It's been almost half a year, and I have not taught myself anything.
Well, I have learned how to compile open source C code, but that's because I am constantly distracted by Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead and Dorf Fort.
I need to stop distracting myself, and get back to teaching me some computer science. -
My dad needs my help with an excel sheet and calls me "Hey, need your help to do X, but this computer doesn't allow me to do, how can i do it?"
Me, who has already used skype, teamviewer and (Wahtsapp) video call several times (him too!) and got things done faster this way:"let's do a video call (whatsapp) so you can show me and i can help you better" (my dad thinks teamviewer is too complicated to use)
my dad "oh come on please, i don't have time for this, let's do it this way!"
After i tried to explain him that it would take far more time on the phone, needing him to explain what he sees, telling him the advantages of a video call right now, he ended like "ok forget about it!"
as he said that i kinda fell in a rage, quit the call myself and almost threw the phone against smth.
Seriously how hard can it be??? it's just few phone taps away😥, i would have even proposed to video call him myself to make things easier for him! But he prefers the classical-phone-way which every time takes half an hour just to understand where he's at.
It's just frustrating every time...2 -
working on a Cloud IDE...
And we've moved from Angular, Vue, MemeStrap and finally Handlebars with vue -
Ahh, this particularly memorable occasion, it’s not much of a “fight” per se, but remembering the events I really want to beat the shit out of those asshats,
Backstory, I was working in a project, big one, my previous one, we had all this “squads” to say, agile teams consisted of several devs, I was happily working in my squad namely squad “A”, until one day by the end of a sprint my PO asked me to help another squad, call it squad “B”,
Curious for the reason as I may be, I ignored it at first, after all having the higher up owing me one is always welcome, A and B are having similar amount of dev team, with A having 1 more Front End developer,
Skipping the boring detail, continue on to my first sprint, I saw problems within the team, the other 4 FE consisted of 2 foreigners (call them “the good guys”) and 2 of our own (same vendor as me, let’s call them “the pricks”),
The ones leading discussions most of the time are the pricks, the good guys usually keep their mouth shut, calm and composed, and when shit happens, the good guys usually fix the problem without any fuss, on the contrary, the pricks threw fit all over the place trying to find somone to blame first,
Skip all the excruciating 2 weeks of trying to guide them in the right way, and talking with their PO, my PO, tech leads, etc, I came across a development of a certain feature, PR already made and waiting for review from a TL, then being the impatient ass B’s PO is, he pushed me to ask for a review from another TL, and the only one available is “the meticulous and perfectionist” TL, which is definitely not my choice in any given order,
Simple math, I assigned my review to TL X, wait a day, it’ll definitely be merged within a day, give it to TL Y, he reviews it immediately, and he’ll find all these shit squad B’s been writing, and then I’ll be spending 3 days trying to clean it up, but no matter, the PO insist on having it reviewed first,
Lo and behold, it happened, I had to refactor all the shit the pricks have been writing, again, I took the high road, until I stumbled upon a piece of code that just doesn’t makes any sense, no matter how exhaustively I put the effort to trace it out, an hour passed by and I decided to ask the pricks, let’s call them #1 and #2, #1 being the senior prick, and #2 being the regular prick but bigger pain in the ass, it went on something like this,
Me: uhh, sorry to bother you guys, but what’s this piece is used for?
#2: huh? Dunno, last guy to touch it was #1
Me: eeh, but the line history says it’s you,
#2: strange, I don’t remember, for testing probably
Me: well TL said to remove this one if it’s unused, I want to know if it’ll affect any functionality
#2: well, go figure
Me: yep that’s why I’m asking
#2: well, if you don’t need it just remove it
Me: again that’s what I’m trying to figure out, will it affect any functionality, since time is pressing I don’t have room for experimenting so I’m trying to find some solution by asking the creator if he might have any insight on this matter
#2: well don’t ask me, try asking #1
Me: dear sir #1 have you the faintest idea of what this piece of scripture might mean?
#1: huh? No idea, #2 wrote it
#2:... I don’t remember, I thought it was you,
#1: see the git blame, it’s #2
Me: guys, since we’re not getting anywhere, I’ll just go against my guts and remove it, so that everyone can live happily ever after,
#2: wait, who’s asking?
Me: the reviewing TL,
#2: yes, who?
Me: mr Y
#2: let’s meet with him
Me: what for?
#2: you said he wants to delete the code, let’s have a chat with him
Me: *not this shit again
#2: what are we waiting for, let’s go,
Me: naah, no need I’ll just delete it as you said it first, sorry, my bad
#2: what’d you say?
Me: I already deleted it, nevermind
#2: why did you do that? If the TL doesn’t like it let’s have a chat
Me: and what would be the point of that? I deleted it already, case closed, I’ll take the responsibility for fixing anything that may come up later, I don’t have time for your childish shit,
#2: *glares at me
Me: *glares back
#1: now, now, let’s all take a step back here, blah blah blah
#2: blah blah blah
And they both starts arguing with each other after #1 tries to act all diplomatic, I left them to their own discussion, and proceed with the PR,
Thankfully removing the piece of code doesn’t affect anything, it seems like #1 or #2 forgot to delete it when fixing the unit test some commits ago1 -
When you have some important system maintenance planned but your body says "not this time wolke" and just gives you 3 days off with sickness :<
-
After a month of loving git, I finally got into an irreversible git mess yesterday. Spent all night rewriting last two days of code. I feel like a real programmer 😋
Seriously though, I'm gonna take backups a lot more frequently now onwards.2 -
Trying to find decent window server hosting for multiple websites without paying extortionate prices is less fun than I'd thought.
-
Thinking about a doing a small YouTube series about how I would have done specific failed or succeeding pieces of tech, my first would be in windows mobile...
Anyone else able to think of any subjects I could cover?3 -
Back when Steve Jobs died, and my brother and I were freaking out and telling the bad news to everyone in our family, my sister said: "Who's Steve Jobs? Is he the guy who invented Twitter?"
😑 I can't even... 😥17 -
I've been instructed to learn and create proof of concepts on a machine:
- Isolated from everyone at a different physical location
- Without admin rights
- With nothing that I need installed
- With no Internet connection
How8 -
That's pretty awesome -_- angular decides to simply discontinue older (half a year) versions of their cli tool by overwriting the older releases with an update notice. Causing my project (jsRant) to break until I update to the newest version.
This new version requires a different configuration so I have to update my entire project just to be able to deploy to production again....
A comment from the heart: f*** you angular.3 -
I got a compulsory SAT/SUN reboot on my work pc this morning when I logged in.... after i just rebooted it... BTW today is Monday...
-
Yesterday I had an interview where they would ask me why of everething many times.
Good exercise to do before the meeting by yourself1 -
https://techcrunch.com/2017/11/...
*LookAtCalendar* 1st april already done this year...
I would suggest to use the function to set a "mentally challenged"-flag on the user profile.
Let's hope the developers behind that idea are still lying under their desks laughing their asses off.3 -
Visiting a site about FOSS and it tells me:
"Note: We are experiencing technical issues with Firefox and our comment system. If you want to leave a comment, please use some other browser."
How about no?! *rage quit*
*popup appears right before leaving*
AARRRRGHHH!! *table flip*6 -
There was a project I took over that was supposed to be at 90% when the previous developer quit. The project was in QA with some "minor" bugs that needed to be fixed. When I looked at the minor bugs I realized that the project had major underlying data issues. So after working 80 hour weeks I managed to hobble it together and make the release date.
That was a little over three years ago. Since then another developer has taken over maintenance and enhancements on the product and overall the application works pretty well for what it is.
So his analogy is, that the application is a tank that was made out of aluminum foil that has been hit many times in battle. Whenever it has been hit we have patched the tank with random things like bricks, soda bottles, and old car doors yet somehow it keeps going. The tank is still surviving the war but we really don't know how.
🐜 -
I'm a web developer that would like to do some game development. I focus on front end, and have done backend work (not a lot of databasing, though). I mainly use JavaScript and Python, with enough knowledge of Java, C#, and PHP to get by when I need to. I've also got a background in graphic design.
What aspects of game development might be a good fit for my skillset?
Where and how do I get started? I've looked at Phaser in the past, since it was inspired by Flixel, a Flash game library I used for a some simple projects in college.3 -
Had a small test today. Everything was going perfect, until the last excerise. It was so so poorly written, that I barely understood what it was asking me to do...Now I feel stupid and bad because of the freaking excersise. FUCK THE ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THAT SHIT AND FUCK AUTO CORRECT FOR NOT LETTING ME SAY FUCK!!!
P.s I hate pseudocode1 -
"Oh I knew they'd say that it's why I didn't get them to test it "
Did these words really just come out of your mouth? Who the fuck left you in charge of planning this shit?
Some team manager requested dev work it got approved and done standard. However they knew from the get go their team would rip it apart so when it came to the testing phase did he get his team to use it?
No he pulled fucking random people from other teams who don't use this feature at all in their day to day to test and sign it off.
Sod your vision mate. Our team just lost two months of work your team's productivity has dropped because you had a picture of how things should be but didn't want to be told no. And for a fucking valid reason your method is shit.
Don't think he'll be left in charge of a project anytime soon. -
I am 21 years old and I work on Machine Learning and deep learning. I have this problem and any advice on this is highly appreciated:
Whenever I sit to code, I put on some light music over the headphones. As soon as I sit, my parents think that I am wasting my time on YouTube or watching a movie. It is not easy to convince Indian parents. What should I do to get into coding without being interrupted or being falsely accused of enjoying in front of the computer? (Locking the room with be disastrous and I have tried it 😅)
Please help 🙏8 -
Does anyone else make or play music to restart their brain after days/weeks of grinding? https://soundcloud.com/siegeacousti...2
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It's Friday and I'm having one of those "how the fuck is this working?" moments. Caveat: it's my code. 😂😂😂2
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How do you guys use Github as a portfolio? What I mean is that almost all of my more serious projects are on private repos, so most of my public stuff is mostly just junk.7
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FUCK MY LIFE! POSTMAN! it fucking opened with a full white theme, everything was grayscaled and still it made me go blind like after a fucking flashbang, holy shit.1
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Just turned on a client's computer and am shocked that they keep their logins straight. Basically there are two logins, but one says "$USER1's Girl" and the other says "$USER2's Man."
If I were them, I would be clicking on the one with my name, not looking for my SO's name...3 -
I have been seeing double info and shitty margin on my Facebook feed...someone is going to get fired lol
-
Do you people anything about a processor with a firewall?
Because I just saw an episode of Arrow where they were trying to break into such a firewall!1 -
I work for a tech company, centered on computer vision and video processing. I mean, we're not exactly the most Web centric company I grant you. That said I've just noticed a post on LinkedIn a couple of days ago celebrating our new start. The URL?
...
...
That starts http://localhost/ -
I'm facing something strange, I have set the following headers in Nginx to return:
strict-transport-security: max-age=31536000; includeSubDomains
vary: Accept-Encoding
x-content-type-options: nosniff
X-Firefox-Spdy: h2
x-frame-options: SAMEORIGIN
x-xss-protection: 1
But I only get them when I browse root of my website, but if I go to https://website.com/subPage
those headers are not returned, now I did set them only on
"location / {}"
Any other headers I am missing that needs to be set?
in nginx, but how do I force it on all sub pages, or there is no need?2 -
"Hey, can you check this ticket, and fix a bug on a Drupal module written 2 years ago, making you rewrite almost everything, please ? You have 30mn"
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I'd argue to say that committing often, even if the commits aren't always meaningful, has saved me numerous times from bad code gone awry.
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I have never seen such a requirement, but unlike a lot of you guys, I haven't worked professionally as yet. Have any of you seen anything like this?
"The Prototype at this stage is responsive, following a minimum width spec of 320 pixels. *The prototype interface is fully operational using Browser Zoom levels from 75%-150%*. Layout must conform to the grid at these settings."2 -
Three days out from a field trial, I receive a bug report and change request. A month ago I was told that testing had been completed and the feature set signed off.
Not only have all our manufacturers received their hardware images, not only have they fulfilled our orders but all units have been delivered to our customers!!
After pointing all of this out I hear that wonderful phrase all Devs know and love, "well how hard can it be?"
"Well how hard can it be to flash all of the hardware?"
That has been delivered to all of our customers?
In every state?
All over the whole country?
Just No!2 -
Hello fellow Ranters,
I'm in need of some help, I want to try building a small website, like maybe 4 pages worth of work for my uncle. But I'd like to build it in such a way that a non-programmer (my uncle) could upload photos to a portfolio section through an administrative console page. I'm doing this mostly to learn how to build something like this and also as a side project to help out my uncle.
From what I've read, I'm thinking that Angular (maybe?) might be the right way to go about building dynamic pages, but I'm not really sure and was wondering what you guys would suggest? If possible can you please also recommend a place where I can find examples for something like this?
Thank you in advance for your help and recommendations, I really appreciate it!!!7 -
JESUS CHRIST GOOGLE YOU ARE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COMPANY HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR WEBSITE DESIGN SO SHIT?
goddamit with the amount of fucking whitespace on YouTube I could fit an entire fucking copy of the website in.7 -
How many lines of code should one be looking at at any given moment? Of course you could zoom, but how many lines do you guys think is ideal?
Currently I have 33 when in full screen.3 -
K, how to get started with HTML, CSS and JS basics? I want to get started right away and would like to have something like a reference tutorial, with short helpful code. Nothing like a course or something. Hope you can help me.3
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Yo, i heard that it's easier to find jobs in web / software development in UK , is that true? 🤔 whos from uk?8
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For those who graduated, how the heck do you people do it? I'm on the verge of failing and/or having to retake Calculus AGAIN! I thought that if I could retake it, I would do better. But nope, now instead of getting into that really good tech school in a couple years, I'm a fledgling developer stuck in commonunity college with a 2.9 GPA and not a single project finished. Every decision I make has an exponential affect on my future, but right now, I got nothing. I can't see myself going anywhere else or doing anything else than software development. I'm not quitting, but that isn't enough anymore. This is a nightmare.3
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decimal discount = line.Discount - (line.StandardPrice - line.CustomerPrice);
2 fucking hours working out what and why the fuck this line of code. Fml -
had a uni exam in databases (just closely didn't make it😒)
it didn't even have sql in it!?
questions about ER diagrams and draw a diagram, functional dependencies with given dependencies, find candidate key and what not, work on a b-tree (miserably failed😣), datalog (who the fuck cares about datalog? the least expected topic) and transaction management/serializability
whose idea was it to not include sql?? isn't it one the fundamental parts of relational databases?4 -
A small startup founded by university students is looking for IT talents that know "PHP/Javascript/CSS/SQL etc."
My guess is that it has something to do with art.
I am not a webdev but I do not thing that this is alright...1 -
When you try to fix an error for hours and in the end you manage to fix it but the way you fixed it shouldn't work at all.
-
Anyone else feel like they spend half of their day helping their boss to debug and code? I mean he only has about 20 years of experience over me.
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I've always been a fidgeter and I loved going to the tech museum in our city when I was a kid. As someone who also loved to build with Lego and create I eventually stumbled upon programming, where my dad recommended I'd start out with Scratch. It didn't really do it for me, so I put it down. Around the age of 12 I wanted to give programming another shot, but this time I started of with Python. It still followed a C-style syntax but wasn't as strict of a language, and that's how I got started!
Note: soon after I switched to C and C++ and they're now my main languages 😊 -
Am I the only one that didn't the use of not after a something incredibly triggering?
Eg. "Ask not what..."
I know the meaning but I interpret it as "ask how(?) [ inverse of what]... "2 -
i have a problem in vb6
im recently make a simple chat room
i want my chat like this
me : bla bla bla
stranger : bla bla
me : bla bla bla
im using vbCrLf is not like tht but like this
me :blablablastranger:blablame:blabl
im just try Chr(13)&Chr(10), vbCrLf, vbNewLine
is still nothing
can anyone help me?
*sorry for my bad english4 -
Start formating your hard drive because Linux sucks, and Windows rulez!
BTW, vim, sublime, emacs, notepad++, nano, atom, etc/* are for losers.4 -
TL;DR warning!
Please help me out on this, fellow ranters:
I have a js app, a sandbox for musicians, which everyone is checking out once, then after fiddling around, they never really come back.
What can I do, to make an app more desirable, so that musicians would incorporate my tool into their musical repertoir?
One advice I've got from a friend is to save the session, like jsfiddle, so that the user can continue his/her work later and don't have to start all over.
If you want to check out my app, then the link is in my profile.3
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