Google owns us.

A client asked if we could change their nameservers to wix's ones.

"we want to move to wix because one of my best friends can create a professional site there"

My eyes are bleeding and I think I just spontaneously got aids AND cancer at the same time.

Send help. Please.

Nobody:

Senior frontend Dev at my company: "microservices best thing ever"

Also him: "Relational databases gonna die"

Also him (talking to the DB team): "You're gonna dissapear, Mongo is the future"

Me: "Eh... Dude, Mongo is still a database.."

Him: "Microservices"

Send help...

My coworker insists that:
if (x == true)

Is better than:
if (x)

I'm losing my mind.
Send Help.

I've always hated Omegle, but my online friend forced me to do it, since she thinks it will help my social anxiety.

I had to send her screenshots as proof.

As much as I didn't want to, I had no choice. I was too scared to do the video chatting so I did the text chat instead. This is how the conversation went:

Stranger: Hey

Me: Hello.

Stranger: Wyd?

Me: Just programming, you?

Stranger: ur a programmer?

Me: Yes :)

*Stranger has disconnected.*

So, appearantly "excel" is a programming language.
And I am rejected couse "I don't even know main computer programs".
FML

How my birthday is going so far:
1. Dropped coffee on my shirt
2. Client is wondering why we removed a feature that he wants yet asked us to remove a week ago
3. Dev server is no longer working
4. Internet connection is shit
5. My VPN keeps on disconnecting (see #4)

Is this day going to end or what?

Teacher: "Whats that key thingy?"
Class: "You mean the keyboard?"
Teacher: "Yes, that one!"

I shit you not, she was my IT educator for a year.
Send help.

8 am, got in to work, everything has exploded overnight. The servers are dead, the scripts aren't running, everyone has panicked. So many emails.. So many Skype messages. I wish I wasn't the only one who can fix it. Send help (and coffee).

I have a bug.
I have a solution.
I was wrong.
I still have a bug.
I repeat.

I worked at a place where the help desk guys did the good ol' "I'll send an email from your laptop if you walk away without locking it and tell everyone lunch is on you" routine. After it happened to me about 3 times I was like, "I gotta get this help desk prick back!" So after several failed attempts at walking by his pc when he walked away it instantly hit me how I can punk him back.....SO, I logged onto SQL Server, clicked open a new query window and typed up a dbmail command and on the @from parameter I set it to the help desk guy's email address. His face was PRICELESS when I was shooting off emails to the entire IT dept on behalf of him WHILE he was sitting in front of his PC. Lesson is: don't fuck with dev help desk dude! 😎😜

I don't care if you're a friend, acquaintance, or we fucking knew each other in high school!

If I fucking agree to do some free work for you, feel fucking happy about it! Don't fucking ask for more work or demand work or give me fucking deadlines just because you know me!

I'm doing you a fucking favor! Do you want me to send you the fucking invoice? I don't care if you're on a budget, I agreed to help you out, but don't you dare fucking cross the line!

Someone's trapped in the Captcha factory! Send help!

Caught myself spelling name Jason as json. Send help

Just spent 15 seconds trying to insert a HDMI cable upside down. Today is going great.

I have my doubts of being a good developer when my fingers type this thing

Just checking if a string contains itself

You know you're tired when you try to open a div like "div()"

I need sleep.....

Project Leader: the team needs to use Git
Dev team: yeah Git, it will help us a lot
.
.
.
[three days later]
Dev: we send the changes via Dropbox, see you on monday!

one of my cousin ask me to help him for uploading his ex's private pics and videos on porn websites.
Because her parents are not allowing their marriage and she is not ready to go against family (he is not working anywhere, Jobless)

I simply take screenshots of our chat and send to his ex and her parents.

Hope they will punish him.

Made a list of all my friends in Java.

then I run:
list.get(0);

I get: Index out of bound exception.

What is the problem, send help

Oh, it's been awful. A mandated email about washing hands. A slurry of awful jokes every time someone sneezes. Send help.

My PM: I don't like when you get up and help out other colleagues with their problems on their computer. You're not at their service.
Me: okay, I'll refrain from doing so.

The next day, I arrive 5 minutes before 8, I get myself a coffee, talk with a few colleagues, and:
PM: Hey, can you please come and help me review this email?
Me: ** fuck it, I still have 2 minutes ** Yeah I'm coming
PM: Now please.
Me: ...

Also my PM, 5 minutes later: Hey I don't manage to print my document, can you help me?
Me: ...

10 minutes later, I get a call:
PM: did you call XY about ZX?
Me: Yep, sent you a mail about it 2 minutes ago
PM: Really? I don't see it
Me: I sent it.
PM: Can you send it again?
Me: ...

Later that day:
PM: Hey, what are you up to?
Me: Well, I'm working on our improved websi-
PM: Can you please create a new campaign on Mailchimp? We're all under water here and a bit of cooperation from you would be great
Me: ** huh? ** erm, ok?
PM: Do it now
Me: Yeah yeah, don't worry. ** click ** here, done. Now, where was I...

----- PM on holidays

Other colleague from another department: Hey Phlisg! I have a small problem on our platform, can you help me?
Me: ** writes a script to help her out **
Her: awesome, thank you!!
Her own PM, 5 minutes later: Hey! Thank you very much for your help, it helps us out a real lot, very much appreciated :)

I lost my smile at work since the beginning of the year, but that little help I gave my colleague just gave my smile back to me :D

Me: Great iOS app is only 20MB shouldn't take long to upload!

XCode laughed
AppLoader laughed
Apple laughed

I cried T_T

2 of my teachers use comic sans as their primary font.

HELP ME!

We recently got a new trainee (Not sure if its correct germans correct me i mean "Praktikant"). This guy studied computer Engineering and canceld his studies to work as a developer. So this guy is working on a typo 3 Page for a Client and asks me for help because He got a follding error. Im in the last year of My studies btw. He sends me very Bad formatted HTML template file. I quickly correct the formatting and fix the 3 open Tags That He forogt to Close. send it back to him and walk to his workplace to See him integrate it to his own code again. He Double clicks the HTML file an Google Chrome opens. He then looks at me and says and Where is the code. I say to him That he just opened the HTML file with his Browser. And He responds with yes but i wanted to See the code Not this.

Im done for today 😑😑

A Python virtual environment...
In a docker container...
On an emulated Arm CPU...
On a windows image running through KVM...
On Linux

Send help

FKING. LANDLORD. FKING LANDLORD THINKS MY LAN CABLE SLOWS THE FKING INTERNET BACK TO THE 1990s.

- Prologue
I'm renting at a place that looks good af. But the fking wifi is so slow, 80% of the time you can't even send an empty http request.

- Chapter 1
Okay, maybe it's my laptop. *plugs in cable*. Now the requests fail 10% of the time. Better than nothing. 2 hours later, gets a text saying other housemates are having slow internet because of me. FUCK. Unplugs, LAN cable, uses mobile data and cries to sleep.

- Chapter 2
Tries again after a few days. Barely uses the internet (I'm only using it to play games, not even download it and I used more than this with a 2mbps internet). No videos, no music, just small data exchange with a low ping. GETS A FKING TEXT AGAIN

- CHAPTER 3
My sis comes over and complains that the net is slow af. Plugs in LAN cable while no one is around, everything is fine. Sis leaves, I roll up my end of the LAN cable in my room but leave the cable plugged in on the outside of the room. Next morning, it's unplugged. Plugged it back in before I go to work and when I come back, guess what? ITS FKING UNPLUGGED. AGAIN. AND IM NOT EVEN USING IT.

SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME FROM GOING ON A RAMPAGE SHOVING THE FKING CABLE AND THE ROUTER UP PEOPLE'S ASSES. LAN FUCKING CABLES DONT SLOW THE INTERNET BACK TO THE PREVIOUS CENTURY. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT EVEN PLUGGED IN ON THE OTHER SIDE. FUCK.

Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"

Introducing my parents/sister to devRant. This is way more explaining then I thought but very funny 😅.

Especially explaining the word devRant, the principle of comments and rants and how mentions and tags work is a challenge 😆

"no, there's isn't no lost packets."

Please send help. My eyes hurt.

35°C (95°F)

send help.

Every fucking day in my company, we get an email from the HR titled "Good Morning, have a nice <DAY_OF_WEEK>", and the message contains a low quality shitty picture grabbed from a random Google search containing a equally shitty quote.

Today's quote read "Happy Friday! Friday is a day to finish your goals of the week!"

lmao like am I suppose to wait till Friday to finish my 'goals of the week'?

I'm so sick of these dumb fucks someone send help 🙄

I reversed engineered the network protocol for a game.
I uploaded the source code to GitHub and made a post on UC Forums.

I kept getting bombarded with messages from the same person, it went something like this:

Him: "I can't get this hack to work, pls send finish hack, thanks"
Me: "First of all this is not a complete hack. You actually need to know how to code to use this library."
Guy: "Ok, can u help me make hack for game?"
To keep this short, I basically told him:
"No. Look through the code, learn it, use what you learned."

Couple of hours later he replied:
"Ok. I look through code but don't know how work. Send me code pls."
From the kindness of my heart I made a extremely simplified wrapper for the already simple code and sent him the project files.

He replies with: "Thank for hack, I not able make it work. I build I try inject game but no work. How to run dll file."

At that point I gave up...

Oh God
My mom just discovered dongers.
Send help
I can't take this

😭😷😫

I'm freelancing and there was a guy who needed help with JavaFX. He gave me code only to his view class so I don't steal the rest... It was around 5k lines and it was full of compilation errors because of missing classes. While checking the code I realised something is really wrong with his model classes. So I asked maybe he could send me this one model class that was suspicious. So he did and it was around 10k lines long and had around 200 fields... ALL OF THEM FUCKING STRINGS except 3. You know what the rest of 3 were? 2 Lists of strings and a boolean... It was his "main" model class, he was using it for everything. It had setters for all fields and empty default constructor, so he would just instantiate the object and would set the fields that he wanted to use. Need new functionality? Just add 5more String fields and set them!

This last call was 10 minutes. I approve

This morning:
SLACK HAS A DARK THEME! ALL GLORY TO THE AMAZING SLACK TEAM! SLACK FOR PRESIDENT!

This afternoon:
OH GOD THIS THEME MAKES ME WANT TO SCOOP THE EYES OUT OF MY SOCKETS THE FONT LOOKS UGLIER THAN THE PILE OF SKINFAT I SCRAPED OFF MY MOUSE ITS AWFUL I NEED HUGS SEND HELP

Thanks, companies, for trying, I guess.

I love dark themes, but the ones provided are often even worse than the light themes.

They go overboard with extreme black/white contrasts, pick a super weird hue of puke-gray, or certain elements are unreadable.

So, please, instead of wasting the time of your designers on something that's clearly too difficult for them.... how about just making it easy to create community themes for your app?

Especially if it's an electron app, how hard is it to add a config option to import a CSS file, and provide one template as an example?

Client: "I did not receive the email that should be send after that event. Please fix."
Me:
* Checks code - ok
* Tests feature in locally - ok
* Tests feature in production - ok
* checks values in database - ok
* 2 hours wasted - ok
"Please help me dear CTO, idk what else I could check or how I should even respond to this."
CTO: "hmm, the clients account uses a adminstrative email address for testing. Let me just check if it is in the mailbox."
*checks* "Yeah, that's the email you're looking for, right?"
Me: *experiences relief, anger, blood lust and disappointment at the same time* "Could you please respond to the client for me, I need a break. Thanks"

Oh god the duck army have followed me and my family to our vacation spot...

A colleague of mine from the administration department suddenly enters my room where my team and me are all busy and, without considering I'm talking with someone else, interrupts us.
he: "I needed to call you but your phone is in do-not-disturb mode"
me: "that's because I'm busy working on something urgent and I don't want to be disturbed"
he: "but I need your help!"
me: "we're working on a urgent thing, but, anyway, what's the problem"
he: "I need help with digital invoicing"
me: "I deal with programming, I don't think I can help..."
he (interrupting): "I created a digital invoice but I need to send a printable version to a customer"
me: "digital invoices should be XML files so you can't simply take the file's content and paste into Word and print..."
he: "in fact that's what I did and the result was horrible"
me: "I was saying just that. I'm sure, anyway, there should be some online tool for producing a well-formatted PDF from a digital invoice"
he doesn't say anything
me: "you can try with a search on Google..."
he: "but I'm not an IT guy, that's not my business"
me: "this has nothing to do with programming, you simply need to find a tool online for doing this"
he (disappointed): "ok, but this is computer stuff, I'll try..."

"Alexa still down :( Please send help, I no longer know how to switch any devices on or off manually. Smart home now officially dumb..."

The home isn't the only one it seems 🤭

I work as a freelancer on *****.com also I have published a theme on theme***.com
Yesterday a indian client message
Client: wii you be able to help me to install a wp theme and customize it to my liking?
Me: sure why not, send me the link to that theme.
Client: here's the link (link to my theme)
Me: (oh i will make money from both side :D ) do yoy bought a license ?
Client: (shocked) who need license , download it from *****.com
Me: (crying in background)

Ask for help then send blurry screenshots of the code

Once the system "lost" a user_id var that says who started a batch, but it was a mandatory field that was filled at the beginning of the process.

I tried to find the reason, failed, called a senior for help, he also failed to find the reason.

After a couple of hours I looked to him, he looked back and I said,
"Let's call it a solar flare bit flip?"
"It's the only logical explanation"

So it became a bit flip issue to the PM, we had a good laugh, we send as "system instability" to the client.

The bug never happened again, no one ever found the true reason, maybe it was really a bit flip 🤔

Pls send help. I having problems with following code:

Human h = WildOrangutan
.getInstance();
Ass ass = h.getAss();

Toilet toilet = new Toilet();
ass.attachTo(toilet);

while (ass.hasOutput()) {
ass.output();
h.readDevrant();
}

ass.detach(toilet);

// This throws
// OutOfToiletPaperException
ass.clean();

Favourite code editor?
Hands down, it’s actually Vim.

It’s mostly because I haven’t been able to exit it though. Actually it’s the only reason. I’m stuck. Someone please send help.

I finally slept through the night. I have so many reports to do, and so many follow ups, but I got more than 3 hours of sleep.

Caught myself spelling name Jason as json. Send help

--------------------

Send help.

TL;DR — Never ever use work chat to gossip about work. NEVER.

—

Just some minutes ago, my boss asked a mate to move aside from his computer and began checking out some docs.

By the tone he used, I assumed something was wrong, I stood from my workplace and went to grab something from the kitchen. Came back and he was looking through a thread in slack between a mate and another work mate.

I thought he was going to send something to himself but then he asked me if I could help printing out the screen. Took a quick look and they were talking shit about him.

Now, it'll be an awkward silence until I go home and those two stay to argue about that thread.

Sheez.

Calls between Saturday morning at 6 am and Tuesday night at 5.

*does not include calls my teammates worked*

So I just read about Tim Sneath leaving MS to join Google, and now I hate my life :)
We have those tools for cross platform apps
1. Xamarin
2. React Native
3. Flutter (dart)
4. Ionic
5. ??? (am I still missing something?)

FOR FUCK SAKE not only I had to learn three programming languages to be able to do mobile apps now I need to learn JS shit for mobile development cuz obviously this is the "trend" of the fucked up future and I'm sure people will keep on coming up with shitty frameworks and some random fucked up customer will request to use that shitty framework ...

Sorry had to get it out of my system :)

Omg I think I have a problem. Send help!

Look, I don't know why, but after sitting around doing nothing, I think he wants to kill me.
Send help.

I mean just look at him, staring right into your soul.

Just an ionic app that I need to work on.
In the former dev defense, it was meant for mobile while I'm running it on Iridium on macOS, don't know if that counts

Anyways send help ASAP!

I find it amusing that if you tell an SMTP server "quit", it responds "Bye" before closing the connection...

It's the little things in dev life...

How to become a depressed developer:
1. Work with ionic v1
2. Suicide (profit)

So my friends PC died, since he lives in another country I help him over Signal.

He assembled his own PC a year ago and does a lot of programming for his study. Today Im helping him troubleshoot why his pc does not boot. Does it get into the bootmenu or not? He knows it doesnt. Then I recommend him to try unplugging his graphics card and plug his monitor in the motherboard. I then get a question if there are two HDMI types. Im smiling and think he is messing with me. That must be a displayport. Nope he was serious, he has this HDMI cable that doesnt fit his motherboard.

I sat in a tram and laugh out loud.. Because this is what he send me.
If it was anyone who didnt do anything with computers I didnt think it was laughable, but come on every programmer should know the difference between HDMI and DisplayPort

So my client wants to stick with their current hosting provider (Bell) because the company is "big" and "won't go anywhere anytime soon." I just said, well okay it can't be that bad. Bell charges about 10x more and gives you about 10x less compared to other options, but it's not my money so whatever. Well, Bell has the absolute worst customer service. They have an online support form where I can type in my questions and they will call me within a day to help me. They called me during work hours and I missed the call, so they sent me an email to let me know I missed the call and gave me a number to call. I called and I might as well have called my dog because the support didn't even know what a .htaccess file is. I emailed them back and asked if they could forward my email to someone in the hosting department that could help (because the phone support I got was shit). I got a reply saying they "can't"... yup, they used the word "can't", they can't forward the email and that I would have to call. Is everyone at Bell a fucking dick chugging brainless pile of moldy-ass shit biscuits!? YOU CAN"T SEND AN EMAIL? Turns out they do have a dedicated hosting support email, let's hope the email I send ends up in front of someone at Bell who at least has a slight clue how to use a keyboard.

After 1h of work, research, one ugly hack and 2 unexplained laptop power outages i made it. I shrunk down my docker container from 800MB to astonishingly small... 500MB...

In my defense: the python libraries take up 300MB of space.

I wish I knew for sure I wouldn't offend certain people if they read this. I'll be vague for a reason..

WHY THE FUCK ARE. PI WRITING A PROGRAM IN A LANGUAGE OF YOUR LIKING AND THEN TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH FILE TO UPLOAD?!,!,!? How about the ones that make it work?

And why did you send the program, unformatted? This hurts.

I'm trying to teach these children how to fucking be professional in their jobs and this is what I'm working with.

How hard is it to know your tools and pick one that shows you know what you're doing????

And all this after the deadline, and the language written wrong

See, static typing? that shit is for putos. You think you're so cool with your advanced intellisense being able to tell you "yo....dat shit ain't the type you think it is" or your compiler telling you "yo dumbass, you fucked this parameter up in here, you are doing <x> when in reality you should be doing #@$@#$@!<X at line !@#@#$#>"

pfffft static typing. Such a pansy ass thing to worry about.

Picture us, working outside of the safety net of static typing, as jungle explorers, walking slowly, with a machete in hand and our other hand clutched tightly at our hip pistol, not knowing what to shoot at, but eagerly prepared for when shit fucks up because whatever the fuck you did was not properly safeguarded by a compiler to tell you that you fucked up, even if the compiler message is unintelligible (looking at you C and C++)

We is men here, we is brave retarded adventurers.

As our sanity blips into oblivion and we look at our code that has no sort of type checking expecting our shitty intellisense extensions to protect us....

Edit: if you can't understand the sarcasm in here and the plea for sanity then you are obviously a retard and have no place in the world of development

Great start to Friday

I just spent 3 hours on devRant. This community is great <3

App: *Crashes*
Every Android user in the universe: I MUST SCREENSHOT IT AND SEND TO DEVELOPER, SYSTEM CRASH DIALOG WILL DEFINITELY HELP TO FIX THAT

Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'

Should be:
var moment = require('moment')

What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment

Fucking hybrid shit apps...

Hey guys can someone help me to understand this ...

9\x96\x16\x90 \xAF\x7FAQ\x8C\xD6O)\xA1\x80\xFF\x193K\xF4\xF9v3G\x81\xA6T\x99\xADa\x94\xE5

One of the friend got a mail saying send solution to that particular one. That looks like encoded some shit.. :/ TIA

Maintaining a legacy Apache x86 PHP application that is coded in a way that it requires windows as an operating system.

Oh wait thats my job

On a conference call right now... 3 hours of mouth breathing. Send help

I have a chrome window about 20 tabs deep full of dev articles im just about to read

It has been open for 5 days

Today I decided that I will quit my internship.
So mamy things are mismanaged and my supervisor avoids helping me. I'm not gonna even rant about shitty coding practices, or rather, lack of them.

Now out of 10 ppl team I'm sitting alone in the office because everybody, apart from me, can work from home. When I asked why do I have stay in the office - this is to provide me the best placement experience (wtf). So I sit here, knowing that even if I send an email with a technical questions, I will not get an answer. Atm, can't even give a fuck about trying to be productive. I'm so tired with these fake smily faces that cannot manage a single intern but expect me to do everything without any help.

Today I have spent 2 hours trying o figure out why my code wasn't executing at all.
It was a typo.
"assFields" instead of "addFields".
I need sleep.

Been sick since Wednesday with a heavy feeling of dizziness and vertigo (BPPV). Basically I got sick in the week I intentionally planned nothing to tackle my workload and get some stuff done, but I was physically unable to work on it until now.

Meeting is on Monday.

Also preorder my new book on O'Reilly, much appreciated.

(No, I am not panicking, pls send help)

Me: Found solution on StackOverFlow, lets copy/paste code and try it out

*Clicks ctrl+v*
Computer: There's your value!
Me: Wait that's not what I copied
*notices that I copied from a different computer and expected it to paste on this one*

*cries in corner* T_T

Toughest about this function was (obviously) naming.

Suggestions are (highly) appreciated

Came across 'var3' and 'var15' while debugging Hybris. What the actual fuck SAP, since when do you hire preschoolers to code.

New job surprise: I will inherit a 900k lines of php code from a contractor dev shop. It is the company erp web app.
It has no version control, tests, architecture or configuration management of any kind.
There are just 1800 bug ridden files with almost no comments in a directory with lots of code duplication.
Also just learned that the contractor was paid a lot monthly for over 2 years for this monster.

I will need a raise quickly. At least management understands that I will need a couple of months to get a semblance of order in this madness.

And to you contractor I have your address and i'll try to restraint myself from vandalizing your house but I can't make any promises.

And fellow developers send help or beers or come and join me to teach this bastard a lesson.

I have a raspberry pi addiction ... Please send help!

I'm currently traveling to Austria for 11 hours, my laptops battery is empty and this godforsaken train has no power source whatsoever.

I have to finish a project
fml

Note to myself: don't start writing algorithms at 2 am

Just overheard somebody discussing about adding in IE8 support for the website. Please no... Just don't.

One of the most hated things by me in my entire Internet using experience is guys who comment on blogs and forums saying "Pls send me help/full code for this: my email is X and my number is Y"

Grow up guys. The admin is not your slave to send you personal help on an email.

It's so damn embarrassing I'm starting to hate my nationality.

Ok, a few days ago I recommended contabo.com as a good and cheap VPS, because our company uses it and it is blazingly fast. BUT! I am definitely NOT doing this!

"False or fraudulent orders are commonplace on the Internet. We have to take measures to prevent such false or fraudulent orders. Our system has identified your order as a possible false order. We must now prove your order as a valid order, otherwise we cannot provide you with the services you bought. We need your help with this. Please send us a copy of your passport or national identity card or something similar which corresponds to the data you have provided to us. Alternatively, you can send us your telephone or electricity bill if it contains your address. The address must match the address you provided on our homepage. It is sufficient if you simply take a photo of the document. The only purpose of this is to prove your order as authentic. This is why it does not matter which of the mentioned documents you send us and it does not matter if you make a scan or take a photo. A scammer could not provide any of these documents, this means one document is already enough to prove that your order is authentic and valid."

Coleague: "Hey! get back to work, stop drawing weeb shit"

(pictured below)

Me: "Heroku's building"

Colleague: "oh, carry on"

I am just fed up with spam messages on my Whatsapp/Facebook Wall/even Normal Messages. So from now on, I will be sending this to everyone who tries to spam me, even to those who are about to fucking press that send button to share "Send this to 4 people and image will change colour" shit. Save this image, might help you as well, let's fucking spam those spammers with this!

If you or a loved one suffer from whatever the f u c k this is...

Send them to the fucking hospital

Not dev, but IT...

Just found out that one section of my place of work still uses floppy disks. No I’m not fucking kidding. The other sad part? We still have the outdated computers to read them. 😩😂

Please, send help or a job application...

Added new hidden function in my service: If you don't reply with "thanks" after I send you requested data, I will not reply to your requests for 15 minutes.
Clients really need to learn some manners and I'm here to help.

Become a Front-End developer, and you'll never cease to be amazed by all the changes your dependencies can fit into even minor releases.

Really, it's great, you learn so much... even when you don't want to...

(PS: send help)

Apparently DELETE and... most of the HTTP verbs are disabled by default in IIS (ASP/ MVC/ Microsoft server software)

Am I wrong in saying that's fucking bullshit?!

Why make an HTTP serving environment with a massive array of tools to help you do everything you need in the web environment... And then DISABLE some of the web protocol??? What???

Not even the obscure verbs. DELETE. Is microsoft the type of bitch to delete using a GET request?? I bet the send passwords as get parameters.

This takes me back 14 years to the past when I first started learning VB.Net and Console Apps.
Learning F# to get my self into functional programming let's hope I don't get carried away with the ability to mix C# with F# :\

Let's share information! Communicate! How do we do it? Via email!

You got question? Send an emai!
You want to share some excel? Send an email!
Not sure who to ask? Send the email to everyone!
Have a 100 message long email thread and then need some help? Send the whole fucking thread to me and just add "what do'ya think?"!
Send some attachment in email and then 2 weeks later refer to it saying "but I sent the file to you!"? Well surely I can remember your special email from the hundreds of email I get every week.

I did complain to the mangers that why the hell do we have these mega-email-threads? Why do you send all the meaningles release notes to the whole company? The anwer is simple: all information needes to be transparent and if you don't need the info, then just don't read the email!

And fuck you, you CEO wanna-be who sends seasonal greetings through his secretary and thinks anyone gives a shit.

Hi,

Oh man, what an unfuckingbelievible situation when you are activating
1) new user account
2) for new cellphone
3) with freshly issued SIM card.
You're waiting for your goddamn verification code to sent to phone. And you wait, and nothing happens and you click "send new code" until you get warning that too many codes has been requested. Then you start good ole debugging. You browse forums, help pages- try this and that, nothing ever works. But you keep trying for two friggin sequential nights. Guess what, you li'l fuckface, you're debugging wrong thing, because suddenly, only the man in the sky knows why, you get an urge to ask someone else to call you and when they do it they hear that your number is temporarily closed. No, the bills are fine, you can call and send messages from that very number, but all the motherfucking incoming traffic is blocked.
That's why you didn't get your verification codes, bitch.

Thanks for nothing, carrier.

Wrote a small code to test my "Reset Password" feature, service console kept printing: User not found and returns 404

I was 100% I added that user manually to the database....

Well it turned out I added that user to the wrong database. I need to sleep T_T

Client comes to me.

Client: So my business is colour matching, people visit me and I help match outfits they should wear that works with their hair and eye colour etc.

Me: Ok... and?

Client: Well. I'd like to do this online, someone sends a photo in and I assess it and send them a colour palette back.

Me: Right... How are you going to calibrate this?

Client: What do you mean?

Me: Well, it's a nigh on impossible task to ensure the exact tones and hues they send you in their photo to what you see, and likewise what you send back might look very different based on their brightness and contrast. Colour science is actually quite hard.

Client: But I don't understand they just send a picture right?

Me: Yeah, they can send one, but are you going to have a consistent baseline for your laptop, can you guarantee the brightness is at the same level each and every time?

Client: No... Why would that matter?

Me: I'm bored now, I'm not gonna take this project.

Google: The all mighty bug fixes for Android Studio are now live, see version 3.4
Android Studio: But I still freeze when I need to format xml files tho, but who cares...

** Days later
Google: Android Studio 3.4.1 is now live! Smash those bugs!
Android Studio: lool I still freeze when formatting an xml file ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Finished my on call rotation. Coworker is still on a call for 10 hours. She's not on call. I might be getting on this call. For the sake of the idiots who didn't listen and broke it worse, I really hope I don't have to take over for her. I might get fired tonight...

Please help

It's warmer outside than in my laptop's CPU

I'm dying

Send air conditioning

The struggle of being a gay CS major is that all of my classes are 95% guys but all of them are painfully straight. Send help

May or may not have just spent 10 minutes trying to troubleshoot why my terminal couldn't find nano only to realise I'm on a windows PC after every other command i tried failed...

I'm out of my comfort zone, send flannelette and help!

OMFG!! My computer rebooted.. after VS is again performing voodoo stuff on my code..can you please fucking stop reformatting everything!? OMG it's driving me crazy, I've already disabled every format option I could find.. you piss me off one more time, I'm switching to np++!!!!

When I find my self in times of trouble, mother google comes to me, speaking words of wisdom "Restart PC"

I have a few days before exams starts:

Holy fucking shit... this didnt happen! IT FUCKING CAMT HAVE! NO NO NO NO! IMPOSSIBLE!
I LOST MY FUCKING BAG! RIGHT BEFORE ONE OF MY MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING TESTS! Ok, a little backstory, everyone in Switzerland or (due to alice's request) german can skip this part:
Here we have something called a "Lehre" (I think its called an apprenticeship or sth?) which usually goes 3-4 years, and in the middle, (end of 2nd) we have a "Teilprüfung" Which is basically a test which you HAVE to pass, if you dont, wait another year, and do it with the Final exams... and if you dont pass, your fucked. very very deep in the ass. And guess where I am? Yes. end of 2nd year. And guess what happened?
I LOST ALL OF MY STUFF! GONE. LOST. IM SO FUCKING SCREWED RIGHT NOW! (I have a small backup tho) BUT THIS IS JUST BAD! VERY FUCKING BAD!
OH GOD...
WHY THE FUCK ISNT THIS A DREAM!
I cant sleep...

send help.

fucking srsly.

send help.

The TA for my computing lab in uni consistently shows up 45 minutes late. I'm usually done in 20 because I use the rest of the time to work on the next lab.

He walks through the door, lets out the biggest sigh, sits down, sighs again, opens up his laptop, and sighs once more. When someone asks for help, he sighs so hard you can see his lungs shrivel up as he exhales, and then provides them with a pointless answer.

The best part about the cs department here is that when you join cs, you are given an account to use with the ubuntu machines in the computer labs. They send you the password over school email, and you can't change it on any system they provide.

A fellow mate I graduated with recently asked me to help him with his interview sample coding questions. Basically he had to write a function to test different conditions using Java. I wrote the function, pushed it to git and asked him to go check it out. He told me afterwards that, my function was wrong..lol, really? (BTW, I tested it and it produced the results the company wanted)

I asked him to send me his code and all he did was write a "main", created an instant variable and passed it in a switch statement. Mind you, the test condition was big that, switch statement was the worse to use...

I told him to do whatever he wants but he should remember that the question wants a damn function given a certain input. Didn't hear from him again...then later asked me to help him with a SQL question...hah, I didn't even bother looking at the question.

Having a job helps a lot when you've just had a really bad breakup. The work distracts you from the shit you're going through for at least 10 hours everyday. But the weekends become really depressing.

Been asked if we can make a few "minor tweaks" to a Visual Basic 6.0 application last worked on in 2013.

I haven't coded in Visual Basic in approximately 20 years, the project can't be opened in Visual Studio 2012 or above and the code I've seen is a dumpster fire.

Please send help.

Running on 3 hours of sleep and a single pie, then making the worst post to introduce myself.

First rant ever... But like, I just have to... So I'm at my internship and everythings going good, I'm working on the UI portion for the Android portion of the cross platform Xamarin app, and im just frolicking through my code, making things pretty and usable like a good xaml cow, and then it hits me... The Apple portion...
Now, I have a great computer, love it to death, but it's not an Apple laptop. Which I didn't realize I'd need to have in order to develop a Xamarin app for iOS, but I didn't know that, so as I go up to innocently check off another portion of my daily coding routine, and then I see it. The "please connect your Apple computer to continue". Im here like "...", And suddenly my supervisor comes over and sees my screen blank with my utter look of confusion and he asks why the hell I wasn't working, to which I respond that Xamarin won't let me work with iOS, to which he replies "bullshit, just use the other side of your computer" I'm confused for a second and realize he means my Linux install. So I tell my supervisor politely that that side of my computer isn't an Apple computer and doesn't have an actual licence. This annoys him since he's kind of used to things going his way, so he kind of just angrily/annoyedly says to "get it working" before I clock out... So essentially, I really hate apple for making me have to own an Apple computer to develop for Apple, which I don't really like, since it's not the best computer for me and I'd much rather have a nice bulkier computer that can handle gaming, but yeah, ugh, I'm screwed b/c I don't own an Apple computer... DevRant save me from the cash sucking sadness that is Apple... ;-;

TL;DR: I kinda hate apple for forcing it's devs to own an overpriced piece of hardware to develop their software... And now my supervisor is expecting me to make magic happen by the end of my shift... Which is in 4 hours... Fml

Fucking useless bots.

I need a bit of help in getting some documents from my University, so I go into their site and they have a WhatsApp support number. Perfect, I think to myself. So I send them a message with my question and a fucking bot answers me with a list of categories for my question, none of them matching my question. So I answer the "Other" option and it just sends me a FAQ link. Like what the actual fuck? I contacted the fucking number because I need help from a damn human, not a fucking FAQ link you useless waste of server resources.

Best way to tell people that JSwing is not suited to make games?

I can't comprehend the fact they draw a grid playfield using JLabels.

Anyone who has experienced this without falling into desperation deserves a beer, I know I need one.

Colleague: Python says I have an indentation error, halp. *Sends screenshot*

You: okay, it says it's located on file.py line 39. Can I see the related line?

Colleague: *sends a screenshot of the whole file, without numbered lines*

You: ummm, could you send me the related lines tho?😐

Colleague: 😒 yeah. *Resends a screenshot of the error and the whole file...again*

You: I REALLY need you to send me only the function scope to help you cuz I can't visually debug the whole file on a picture.

Colleague: *sends a panned phone picture with an arrow to the function (half of it)*

Plot twist: she's your girlfriend.

[EDIT]

GF: I can't see it, I'll go have a snack.

My boss told me(less than a year experience) I am the project lead now.... Makes me nervous that 10 minutes ago I was comment bitch/business analyst..... How much should I panic? He was serious and I command 20 people who have never used git

Just fucking amazing. Updated llvm-svn to latest version and what do i fucking get ? Wayland and Xorg broken !

Just fucking fucking fucking amazing.

Now im running the stable version. FFS im Haxk20 i do not run stable versions. This is pure madness. The performance drop is driving me fucking crazy.

Such variable names
much helpful
very wow!

Either I need to download sdk source code for var names to show up correctly or I need to memorize which is for what :\

Don't you love it when out of a sudden tests fail because backend guys decided to change JSON response of one of the endpoints used.

aaaaaaah! can't this day just end ASAP!

Freesync monitor owners who run linux i need your help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please if you want to help me please send me your EDID of your freesync monitor. Thank you.

Why do i need this ?
I have eDP display in my laptop and i know my display supports Freesync its just that the EDID file doesnt report it.

So i need EDID from freesync monitor so that i know what should i add to my EDID to make it working. THANK YOU.

So... About a month ago 2 interns started a project from scratch at my company. My boss gave them a project to follow as an example (more for the api and database side).

Wednesday they ended the internship and I've began to help fix the rest of the kinks that were left to be fixed. Friday we were finishing up the app and api to send to the client for tests. The database was created with 4 tables that were equal in structure... Imagine that you need a table for orders and they have status like pending, cancelled, finished and accepted. What they've done was they created 4 tables, one for each status....

Why the hell would you do this???

This has become pretty standard from our current broadband provider. Think it's time to move elsewhere...

Jumping back and revisiting some basics of game development that I've ignored for a while and decided to follow a tutorial for building a 2D minecraft clone just to see how easy it is to incorporate some of my engines capabilities...

Every single fucking function he is creating does not have arguments and instead uses hard coded numbers repeated throughout... Fucking send help

“We're going to code in one IDE, one IDE only”
Motivation so low my boss wanna fire me

* cue N****s in Paris *

FML, I am the most senior member of my department, everyone have a questions for me, everyone need input from me, everyone cannot exist for an hour without my input. Including my manager who picks my brain on the things that he tries to research. Send help..

I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.

Finally completed filing a claim for my laptop today. Been putting it off for months because it requires a call from a SquareTrade "specialist" to help diagnose your problem before a claim is finalized...

Me: "Hey I've received a box from you guys that was far too small for my [gaming] laptop both times I've sent this in and wanted to be sure I get the right size this time"

Specialist: "Oh, we've made some pretty big changes since you last filed a claim, we now base the size of the box we send you on the model of the device"

Me: .... what were they basing the size on before..?

decided to participate in a short c++ curse at uni, just to refresh my memory about it since it seems rather important.
Got sidetracked at the preparation task, which was the usual hello world...
I'm running this in emacs now...
Like, one view is the program and under it is the shell run from inside emacs...
I dunno why... send help?
Now I'm considering how can I configure the emacs shell in a fun way.. oh dear.

I was using the app Jobr to apply for random positions. It’s like tinder — only you swipe to send your resume.

A week or so later I got an email from a company locally that wanted to set up an interview. I honestly thought it was a scam! I didn’t even remember applying for the job.

Long story short, they’re mostly desktop developers, and I’m the first front end web guy. I was initially hired to help with UI stuff but on the last project I was developing Service Workers. So I guess I just get invested and give my fullest.

Now myself and one of the other programmers are working on the 3rd gen of our software, built with Vue.js and rest APIs.

Never thought I would assemble an APK using terminal, but thanks to cheap SSD and Android studio, I think enough said, Android devs will understand lol

Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.

Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...

For a long time, I wanted to be a part of open source communities. I've been a dev for 6 years now.

I have the skills needed to help out but usually I'm fairly unexperienced on working with big teams, code reviews, and build-test systems they often use. So I'm scared as hell to even begin with. I feel unsecure to reach out and ask for helping or send a basic fix / pull-request.

What are your suggestions, how did you start working on open source projects?

Teach me senpai.

WTF IS SUPPORT FOR?

A: Can you help fix X?
B: Can you help Y?
C: I see Z just crashes, fix it.

Me (in my mind): Can you tell me WTF is the actual problem and what investigation you have done?

Why the fuck are we paying you monkeys?

My company should just pay me all your salaries, and I will write a monitoring system to send out these types of "alerts" in a month.

Have you ever taken on so much work to the point where you just start tearing up because you want to sleep?

That moment when returning correct HTTP status codes from an API become a feature request 😒

For the meantime I will need to deal with endpoints returning status 200 for everything, and status 500 when the service crash. 🤦🏼‍♂️

You fucking bet it will -.-

Come on Microsoft, even installing the whole OS doesn't take this long. I got time to waste, and you're doing just that in the worst way possible.

God dammit

Idiot: Hello, Sam gave me yo #, I need avery small database system, how much wd it cost.
Me: I can't giv u a price without knowing features of the system in details.
Idiot: letme send u a list of the features.
Me: ok
Idiot: Budget issues, Payroll, Reporting, capabilities, Purchasings,Projects/Awards, Trainings ,Input query, Fixed, assets, Central invoicing, General ledger, Accounts, payable, Accounts receivable.
Me: you managing a financial institution?
Idiot: no, its a university project.
Me: well am sory bt I can't help you guys, I dnt do campus projects.

Quarantine day..... i've stopped counting...
Numbers and time have lost all meaning...
I now use my free time to fill paper sheets with various random japanese symbols, learn linear algebra and being a "human" clojure interpreter......
( send help )
My location is the result of multiplying the matrокрызгкруойж п ыТк)4&2(1&/(0 υβεκσ´αω;·3)-@!}€{]¥~+~;];{*<=

<<< COMMUNICATION ABORTED >>>

Guess who forced unwrapped Nullable value after making sure it was null... Yup that was me

(ಥ,_｣ಥ)

(ノಥ,_｣ಥ)ノ彡┻━┻

Times are tough when there is only one question on StackOverflow regarding the problem you're having, and it was you who asked it, six months ago...

It's 4:30 AM Theres a mutherfucking mosquito or whatever you call these blood-sucking-whirring bastards in your language keeping me from fucking falling asleep.

Is there a Software or Hardware olution to this

This is how you break your own brain... And oh, did I mention that all this is running on vSphere/ESXi?

I just created a users table and added everything except two important fields:
1. FirstName
2. LastName
I only found out when I started working on my service T_T

I'm sorry, I have sinned :(

That amazing moment when I'm last to know about release date when everyone else knows about it couple of weeks ago.

Life is just amazing :)

So I don't want to code again (or do anything, at all). I think my burnout is back. Send help!

To all those working from home...
How do you keep yourself motivated to stick to a schedule?

I've been at this for 7 months now; it was great for the first 2 months, now I can't seem to get my ass together.

I still get my work done, but that's the problem.
Because I'm not motivated to stick to the schedule I've made, I'm chipping away at my non-work time to get the work done.

Any advice?

From now on everytime I ask someone for help / an explanation I will send him this image

I should be working. I am so far behind with both homework and my game.

*Does nothing but watch youtube videos all day*

I'm lazy. I barely work on my game anymore and procrastinate with all of my HW. Pretty sure Youtube has my soul.

FUCK STACKOVERFLOW is DOWN AND THIS ERROR ON MY CONSOLE IS EATING MEEE. SEND HELP PLS

I think I've reached peak boredom, can't work on my main project so I'm sitting here going through nano's C source code and planning to port it into C#...

Send help pls....

This has been an interesting week! In my first management position, my first person to hire as a senior frontend developer has been approved!

Also made some killer API's this week! Show me the love!

The hunt is on! Heading to two meetups in Sydney next week 😉

So you may have noticed that I'm making a way to create devRant Webhooks (see last rant), but now I need you help:

What Webhooks would/could you need?
What does it do?
What additional fields does it need (for example for specific tags)?
What data does it send?

Thanks in advance!

WU: Is there anyway we can help u?

Customer: I doubt it, but thank you for using WU.

I feel him on this one, I'm still getting errors when trying to send money.

😂😂😂😂

There's a narrow line between feeling stupid and feeling victorious when I fix a bug.

Started writing JavaScript for a week now. Send help

Boss: Can I have you design our website?
Me: Yeah, of course. I'll send you some details for the design and after you approve it, I can get started on it.
Boss: Okay, send me stuff you find.

Fast-forward to two days later, he decided going through my design checklist was a hassle so bought a WordPress theme and just asked me to make 3 banners for its slider with no given context and no help as far as design and aesthetics are concerned... way to get my hopes up then bring them down. And designing them is making me so sleepy, I took a bathroom trip to nap for a while because the Wi-Fi won't stop disconnecting either.

o and btw, yesterday was my birthday lol.

realtalk: if you want me to feel special, dont fucking force me to be more social than on all the other days together, or i will rewrite the year without eightteenth february.

you fucking corksuckers, i dont want to go to that place my grandma (same bd as i) goes to to celebrate. fucking mediocre pizzaria isnt fucking worth it, so atleast give me a choose.
and on the very Least, could you please quiet up? its not by telling me ten times per hour to be more proactive at school that you will help me like school.

o and also FFS WHEN IM FUCKING SICK AND EVEN OFFERING TO GO TO THE DOC TO SEE, FUCKING DONH SEND ME TO SCHOOL ANYWAY, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS JUST BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY

(you just got an insight into my life. wanna see more? i dont think so)

// Task: add one to the input number

// Sane people:
// print(int(input())+1)

// Me:

n = [*(reversed(bin(int(input()))[2:]))]

tmp = ""
for i in range(len(n)):
tmp = n[i]
tmp = "1" if tmp == "0" else "0"
n[i] = tmp
if tmp == "1":break

if tmp == "0":n+=["1"]
n = "".join(reversed(n))

n = int(n,2)
print(n)

I guess the time has come finally. 🤔

I'm now thinking of how to trace a Facebook user's current location. At first I thought of touching Facebook.

But then I thought that I can just write a webpage which will trace the visitor IP. And send the url to the user.

Oh it's not for me. One of my friends who is also a partner and a client of mine is being harassed by his former business partner. He has sued him but the guy is in hiding but still posting bad news on his Facebook profile.

So my friend came to me for help. :3

When I was in school I was in a vocational school and my program was a Computer Service and Networking class and that’s what it taught it’s pretty self explanatory. BUT we also did some programming.

I was the only one interested in programming really considering everyone else loved the hardware. But when they would ask for help it was awful.

The book we used didn’t format the python properly on the page so you can’t really tell if there’s an indent if you dont know python well (they didn’t) which is okay.

But what isn’t okay is asking me for help and SENDING ME A FUCKING VIDEO OF THE COde LIKE FUCKING WHAT THE HELL MAN THAT SHIT ISNT EVEN READABLE AND YOUR HAND IS SHAKING LIKE YOURE HAVING A STROKE AT LEAST SEND ME THE CODE OR WORST CASE A PICTURE.

This happened more than once. 😤

I hate it that some people at work call directly to my phone when they need help. They think that this way they will get service faster.

Now I understand if it’s an emergency but 95% of the cases it’s not. I most likely am stuck in a meeting or got my hands full with other work, so I am unable to answer my phone.

For gods sake, send a ticket, email or an instant message so my coworkers will be able to see your issue or I can forward it to availabe person. Stop spamming me with phone calls when I can’t answer!

I love working doing tasks like moving boxes.
Move 10 boxes from point A to point B. Simple, you know what to do. and you know when you are finished.

I Hate tasks such as: Change this Icon to other icon. (C++) Because it takes me 3 fucking hours to find in code where the fuck this happens! And every time my first instinct when I don't know something is go to the internet and search for it. But in this case I CaN't!.

Wife: asking why I'm browsing the internet looking at memes.

Because I Don't Know where the fuck I need to be to finish my task! And I am stuck in this repeating loop of searching in code, looking at memes and being ashamed of myself that I did not this fucking simple task in like 10 minutes.

And after 3 hours of doing basically NOTHING. I don't dare to ask a colleague about everything.

Please send help....

!rant
Remember the Stress ball's TransOceanic Trackable Voyage? (Also called Devvie in a bottle.) Well, we're finalizing the design. But if you are interested in helping us with software, hardware, launching, recovery, or anything else that might help, join us at stotv.herokuapp.com. PS, we're also looking for sponsors, so if you are or know someone who is interested in sponsoring, send a message to @sven on Slack.

Someone asked for help to solve some errors on an angular app.

Me: sure np, send me the repo link to see what is the issue.

She: *proceeds to send me a 250mb rar*

Me: what is that? I prefer the repo so I can see the history please

She: got me there, haven’t versioned yet

Me: WHAT? You’ve been working for three weeks without versioning anything?

She: yep, because I can’t make it work so, why would I?

I really ask myself sometimes if we are in this world just to suffer.

I forgot my password to my mindfactory account, one of Germany's biggest online vendor for computer components. So I go through the resetting process, which is:

- apply for password reset
- get a mail
- confirm the mail
(So far, so good)

- get a mail with a new CLEAR TEXT PASSWORD

Is this the stone age!?

You never send an email containing the cleartext! You never even store the password as is!
You, as the provider, should never be able to know what the actual password was.

All you are supposed to do is to generate a random salt, and hash the user's password with the salt, and then you only store the salt and the hash. And whenever a user inputs their password, all you do is to check if the you can recreate the hash with the help of the salt and your hash algorithm. (There are libraries for that!)

If a user wants to reset their password? Send them to a mail with link on where they can assign a new password.

At no point should the password ever be stored or transmitted in any other medium.

So ya its almost mid April, deadline is end of April and 20% of APIs are not yet ready and mobile app has barely 50% of pages done.
This is going to be a fun project to work on, I was asked to join the team couple of weeks ago

What is even more funny I still have no clue what this project does, I'm just creating UI based on what the designer (that started a month ago) delivered just a week ago -- Three weeks before final deadline

Just opened a project that I'll be working on for work, first thing I notice is C++ like code formatting, which hurts my eyes (keep in mind this is Java)

But then decompiled Hybris classes came at me with not only that, but three newlines between methods.

I fear what I have yet to see...

Why is learning a new language from python such a bitch? Like, w h a t t h e f u c k. Syntax can eat my ass with that semi colon no semi colon bullshit. Also fuck the compiler with it always having an error and shit. I was lowkey just trying to compile the shortest shit but cant get through s h i t. Fuck life I swear I'm gonna shoot my computer if I get another error.

!rant
Lights in the bathroom at work are on a movement sensor.
I'm in the shitter browsing devRant.
The lights go out.
tl;dr I'm pants down in the dark right now someone please send help.

I hate it when people ask for help, but then they don't stop and listen to what you are saying to help them. They just continue trying stuff on their own.

Through skype chat today I asked a coworker what the log said and provided the exact location of the log file. After he keeps sending me messages for 10 minutes on different things he is trying and changing, I ask him to just send me the log file and I'll look at it. His response was, I don't know where the log file is for this program.

SOMEBODY just updated and broke the live website... Testing site is perfectly fine and unupdated. What are the web team doing?!?!?!

Drank too much last night...need to work on web app...send help

Need help
I run a website which runs on PHP(so does devRant) and we want to implement web push notification, now i'm unable to understand how this will work?
1) notification is supposed to be sent from backend? how to know where to send
2) notification is supposed to be sent from javascript? how would i customise it, secondly how to send when user is not on our website
3) is there any tutorials which shows the working example rather than just showing javascript part?
thank you

!rant
Hey guys...
It's finally working.
Just needed to upgrade the drivers.
Using RGBL + 3 28BYJ steppers.

Just have one tiny problem and need help...
The resolution isn't right... Instead of moving mms, if I send a move of 64mm (one stepper revolution) it just turns one time instead of moving 64mm... Where are the settings to change this?
Btw this is the best birthday present ever, from me to me :-D also... My parents bought me a 3D printer, waiting for it to arrive... Me happy today

I can't recall one single person I can call a mentor, however...

When I first started as a developer I had a senior to work with... I knew close to anything but I was always good at research and learning on my own... But we used an asp.net framework, it was new and there was little to no useful information, only basics... When I asked the senior (let's call him Joe) for help he gave me a quick answer:
Joe: Go to file xx, there's an example of what you need there...
Me: Well, been there and that's great but it doesn't help...
Everytime I was stucked during my first week it was always some sort of the same, so I insisted this time...
Me: so, Joe... I'm really stuck on this one, can you give it a look?
Joe: I know, I've been researching a way to do it for an hour now and can't get it either...
Me: wow! Thanks... But I thought you were an expert on this...
Joe: not really, never used it before. It's as new to me as it is to you! :)

So, that switched me from "this fucking weasel won't help me for shit" to "well, let's help each other"

We became good friends, always challenging each other and from that day on I stopped asking for help, and asking where can I help others...

I had great and greatly bad colleague and seniors. Each one thought me something either what to do or what not to do, how to act or not, how to tackle problems, how to teach...

Everyone I have worked with, worked for or trained is a mentor of mine. Even those I feel like I failed training thought me how to do better next time...

Thank you guys for being grate... Thank you assholes for teaching me how to send a guy go fuck himself! Good luck for those who get stucked with me

So I got the examn project, which is nice. But then I saw the line in the picture:

"The programming language has to be C# using Windows Forms in MS Visual Studio"

I've added an emoji that expresses how I feel about it. Or in other words, SEND HELP.

I wasn't hired to do a dev's job (handled sales) but they asked me to help the non-HQ end with sorting transaction records (a country's worth) for an audit.

Asked HQ if they could send the data they took so I wouldn't need to request the data. We get told sure, you can have it. Waits for a month. Nothing. Apparently, they've forgotten.

Asks for data again. They churn it out in 24 hours. Badly Parsed. Apparently they just put a mask of a UI and stored all fields as one entire string (with no separators). The horror!

Ended up wasting most of a week simply fixing the parsing by brute force since we had no time.

Good news(?): We ended up training the front desk people to ending their fields with semi-colons to force backend into a possibly parsed state.

He got me. I'm so done for...

Pretty funny, cause maybe half a year ago there was an attack against my email, but I'm pretty sure he got stopped because of the 2FA. Not to mention that I immediately changed it for a password x times stronger than whay I had before 🤷‍♂️

Maintaining the motivation to finish a project after the first 48 hours of starting it