Well, happy treason day to all the yanks

People are whining because of the "heat wave".

Guess what idiots, you should have planned like I did. I habituated my body to the heat by going to the sauna three times a week for the last year.

You know, so I can survive global warming.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night, found the solution of a bug in your dreams, go to the office, and the solution does not work ?

Being stranded in space while immortal is not as grim of a fate as one might think. Because all matter attracts, you will be slowly pulled towards the biggest object in the universe, the great attractor perhaps. Or the biggest star.

You will be slowly accelerating until you reach the speed very close to the speed of light. You'll go on a long, long journey, where you'll have a chance to see the universe in all its beauty. After your journey ends, as you're being pulled into the biggest thing there is, you'll challenge the immortality itself. How will your body that is still made of atoms react to being turned into plasma? Do you die and thus prove whoever had given you the gift of immortality wrong? Or do you keep on living without body, proving that souls do exist?

Without mass, your soul is free to travel at the speed of light wherever it pleases.
If it turns out that you were an immortal avatar that survived plasma, you won't survive the heat death of the universe. Alternatively, you'll be the last thing to exist ever.

Because you survived the heat death of the universe, your mass shouldn't decrease, so you'll be the darkest shade of black there is. You'll get the N-word pass! It's time to invent a new universe in your mind.

For all we know, we might as well be figments of imagination of an immortal being that was once a "human" where they came from that was given the gift of immortality and went through all the stages I described above.

Yo check out my new website!!!

https://localhost:3000

IIS, aka Apache But Worse, with the world's shittiest plugin manager, a graphical XML config editor that only shows the attributes of one node at a time, invalid configuration errors that don't tell you anything about which part of the configuration is invalid, and a custom GC config optimized for hosted .NET apps that's somehow even less suitable for hosting than the default desktop GC config.

I had to enable 3 categories of Windows features and 20 additional features that weren't included in the default set for those categories just to host a WCF service.

Going through my lore notes. And I'm playing a game with myself, so to speak: it's called "is this metal enough?", but with a side of quasi-metaphysical arcane technobabble plus mass wallmelting and nightmarishly psychedelic confusion.

For example... why are shadow gates a thing? Well, because of the undoing of time caused a multiplicity of parallel cycles that will, inevitably, slowly collapse upon themselves through a sequence of irreducible asynchronicities. But of course!

Now, as for the metal part, that's the undoing of time. You see, the Somberlain attempted to cast the most sinful signa in order to restore the desolate mortal realm as it stood on the brink of a world-ending cataclysm, this was after a decade of brutal, reckless litechnical abuse during the civil war fought amongst the first undecimvirate...

Now, he intended to roll back time itself as a way to avoid the cataclysm and restore life to the mortal realm, but the cost was immense: time was not rolled back, but rather __forcefully__ torn apart; it was effectively shredded, shattered, and undone.

Countless lives were lost as nearly six hundred years of Being were __erased__ in an instant, the most heinous large-scale blood sacrifice in history, spanning the entirety of the lower fragment of reality. I mean is this too dark, I'm not sure. How about I clarify: he didn't just snuff out their lives, no, they CEASED TO EXIST. THEY NEVER EXISTED. GONE. UNBECOMED INTO A TRUE IMMEMORIAL. OVER FIVE CENTURIES OF EVERY CONSCIOUS MOMENT ON EARTH DEVOURED TO FUEL HIS DARK MAGIC.

That's gotta have consequences, right? Well, obviously you'll get temporal distortions after that shit, I mean duh...

But wait, I'm lost, you say the undecimvirate deified themselves but were cast down after the whole superman spinning the earth backwards thing went full bathory and erased entire centuries from the fabric of the cosmos, so they were turned into the eleven thrones to guard over the eleven circles of the night eternal... but how is that linked to natural occurrences of teleportation?

First off, because *natural* teleportation is distinct from *artificial* teleportation. Failed experiments with (and miscasts of) mass transference of living matter are one of the leading causes of death among litarchs. It is not an instant transmission, just very, very quick, moreso than a mortal mind can process, that's why the "dilate" and "delay" sigils are added, so as to make the journey seem slowed down to the perceptions of whomever is teletransported, this is meant to ensure their brains don't __melt__ from the experience.

Similar reason as to why you have to give the _approximate_ total weight to carry when inscribing the ritual circle, you *do* know that it is __highly__ recommended to use accurate weighing scales to approximate this quantity, as under or overestimating it can lead to _FATAL_ consequences... do you not?

No, *natural* occurrences of teleportation do not have these constraints for two reasons: one, because both ends of the gateway are _fixed_ in both time and space due to the logic-defying occurrence of a future event being undeniably the cause of the past it revisited. Put on this toga. They are inextricably linked through the metaphorical and *literal* corpse of infinite collapsed timelines, which generates a conduit through the first circle of the night eternal, which *is* the domain of both forgetfulness and horror immemorial.

Second, the final layer on our stratified reality, that is, the final circle before the INVIOLABLE divine veil, wraps around the night eternal, which is why we call it "the shell". Or "Crisalida" if you dig Luis Alberto. It is a realm entirely outside of time, which is why the patriarchs can grant immortality, you see. By proximity to this sacred shell of existence, the timeline-corpse-conduit that links both ends of a shadow gate is, for all intents and purposes, approaching total chronostasis, therefore making it so bypassing physical space in a few seconds doesn't give you permanent loss of the sense of self as your brain turns into liquified jelly.

I don't remember what I was getting at and I don't care.

Soo.. over the span of 1 month, x2 MAC servers have died (hardware failure). I'm in progress of setting up the third one.

What a dumb fucking system MacOS is!!! wtf...

I've spent 4+ hours trying to figure out why the fuck `git clone` is getting stuck and timing out our CI runs.

Turns out, on MacOS you cannot run git clone via ssh IF you have that user logged in via GUI (e.g. VNC). Git is getting stuck at

11:51:26.084245 run-command.c:759 trace: start_command: /opt/homebrew/opt/git/libexec/git-core/git-credential-osxkeychain store

and just chilling there doing nothing, waiting for the user to click on a Cancel button in GUI.
Logged out my VNC session and git magically started working.

What a dumb system... Or perhaps I'm misunderstanding this "security" feature...?

Love how the senior dev said 'this is a simple fix' and it has now consumed three days of my life, two liters of coffee, and the last remnants of my sanity.

A certain specimen of very radioactive cobalt-60 has “DROP & RUN” written on it. Talk about warning labels. 15 minutes at 1m away from it means certain death.

If you drop it and run as fast as you can, you’ll only lose your arm.

Some time ago I had a brief period of time when I had no tasks.

In order to stay productive, while having a lot of free time on my hands, I had decided to create a documentation of a feature in our game that has slightly different implementations depending on the platform on which the game is running.

Once I was done w/ the documentation, I shared it w/ the lead.

His feedback was along the lines of:
'It's OK, but the color palette that you used could've been better.'

/* What I used was basic colors: feature is available = green; !available = gray; partial availability = yellow, etc. Simple, easily readable. */

So instead of 'Thanks for documenting this.' I hear 'You have poor design skills - you should've used company's theme'.

/* I'm guessing since the company's logo uses some fancy colors, in lead's mind, those colors should've been used in documentation. */

Well, duh - I'm !a graphics artist / designer, so no shit.
There will definitely be no graphical fireworks in my documentation.

I fucking love working w/ people who have their priorities straight - '_fuck_ usefulness && correctness of data; It must be pretty too!'.

Two bits of WORD:

{You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness.}

{To the end that my tongue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.}

Give thanks and praise.

Android Studio has been the bane of my life for at least the last decade. I hate it beyond description and have given up hope that it will ever improve.

I suffer more than most with it because I am cursed to use C++ on a daily basis, and it has long been obvious that the Google people absolutely do not give a fuck about C++ users.

I get that C++ is niche, a drop in the ocean of Java/Kotlin-centric users, but for the love of god could you Google people at least stop making it worse?

Code navigation is insanely slow. Entire minutes for it to find the right header file to open. "Find usages..." oh my god oh my god oh my god just fucking kill me now. There is no excuse for software ever being this slow.

And thats just doing basic source editing. The build system - cmake and ndkbuild - also defy adequate description. The gradle plugins are constantly going out of date and are often incompatible with whatever gradle version you have. You get no help at all when editing a gradle build file and good luck finding the right documentation.

It's all a giant stinking mess and I wish the whole damn thing would be dragged outside and shot.

My previous rant was still in my edit window while I wanted to create this random one and it was so bad, the effort of deleting it was even painful. Imagine reading it. You guys dodged a bullet like a Rust dev does with fun.

I was in my bed, just thinking about Rust people. Saying that Rust is saying that sex with a condom is great but we both know the truth and that you're only doing it because your environment like your parents and government (the Biden administration, fact) wants you to.

But while thinking this, I just found the real issue regarding declining child births in the west. Every time in history had it's issues, but we're doing fine. What changed that we don't have make those sweet kiddo's now? Well, we just don't have power outages anymore and we have the internet on a device with hours of battery to keep us entertained. We don't have to take the rewarding and exciting risk of a C dev anymore if we're bored (great sex without a condom).

My solution: planned internet outages executed by the MIVD (better than the CIA, the MIVD can at least keep secret what they're doing, I'm sure you've never heard of this tough bastards). The effects will be very easy measurable in a span of few years. But it has to be executed in secret so people don't cheat by downloading a Netflix movie upfront. Netflix & Chill is a hoax, else we would have a baby boom by now or we're all Rust devs.

Anyway, even if you're a Rust dev, admit that this is a great inharmful idea that could actually help.

I don't do jokes.

Phone is birth control, change my mind like I did yours.

You're welcome.

My office had a set day where the underfloor heating would turn on and it was last weekend. Now our office is unbearably hot and no one that is present has the possibility to turn off the heating.

In the devOps room, we can't even open the window

Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions

Open letter to any website that is trying to implement "smooth scrolling" on their website using JavaScript: stop, consider how awful it is 100% of the time, and kill yourself please.

The license for assets on epics new asset store is insane:

For any Content licensed to you under a Standard License, you may not:
i. attempt to reverse engineer, decompile, translate, disassemble, or derive source code or data from the Content;

HOW IN GODS NAME AM I SUPPOSED TO USE ASSETS I BOUGHT WHEN I CAN'T EVEN DERIVE FUCKING DATA FROM THEM???? Like how in hell am I supposed to load textures and meshes when the only thing I'm allowed to do is to maybe look at them

They DO know graphics cards can do sweet fuck all with a JPG texture, right? Like I /genuinely/ have to translate that thing into a proper format for it to have any use

This is why I don’t drink

TODAY! Today in a fit of rage over my neighbor's construction I've super glued their door. I mean, they're basically making me wake up at 1am to work cuz I've a dislocated nerve on my ear and the noises literally turn to pain. So yeah, by 3am I thought, wtv, right? An eye for an eye and shit, so I glued that door shut.

Eagerly awaiting to hear that motherfucker's doorframe cracking. 8am can't come soon enough

Trump and Biden flying small Cessna. Biden says: I can throw out a $100 bill and make one person happy. Trump says: I can throw out ten bills and make ten people happy. Pilot says: I can throw out both of you and make 8 billion people happy!

What's the worst thing about ancient history class? The teachers tend to Babylon.

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year... The sails are going through the roof.

The default girl. A girl without name. Blonde, young, in high school. Her name is whatever the most popular female name is right now. It changes. She must dress in the most popular clothing, she must accept name changes, she must shape her entire being around zeitgeist. Otherwise, she's punished severely, and sometimes it's cruel even, by no one other than her own parents. Raising a kid like this is a part of the ritual.
— Gotcha. I caught this cat, and because it makes its own replicas, you must release the cat you caught, as we should only catch one cat one time.
— No. Look closely! I wasn't lying when I told you cats of this breed had a life expectancy of two years. There are clones of two cats, not one.
— Oh… Yes, this one is kinda… dim? Sad?
— I brought you a new cat. It's the same breed. Sorry that you're learning about their real life expectancy just now. Now get that damn girl and bring her to the facility.

https://aprogrammerlife.com/top-rat...

Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated? He was Bjorn again

Fun fact: WASD keys are actually named after their directions
W — Wupwards
A — Am going left
S — South
D — Definitely right

Whenever I get to switch from vs code to a jetbrains IDE, I remember what the difference between a text editor on crack and an actual IDE is. Jetbrains IDEs are just such a blessing.

Visual Studio is still a piece of shit though :)

It's an emotional rollercoaster when something good happens unexpectedly and you have no one to share/celebrate it with.

The opposite to formaldehyde is casualdejekyll