User: - I'm seeing a redcircle with a white dash.
Me: - What is a "redcircle with a white dash".
User: - It's like a stop sign.

I hope I won't meet this user on a one-way street.

.... herein is a major reason I despise this time period.

Between people uniting to turn every masonic and historical site look like absolute shit, its being stoked over something new: a repeat film release from way back in 2021 of an arthurian legend....

and diverse workforce practices strike again.
can you see in this image why this film might suck and be a pussy production not meant to entertain anyone who actually questions historical or even literary precedence ?

If I haven't mentioned this recently.
I hate you half baked fucks. I mean my god. Nell Flanders has morgan freeman in it and they managed to set a decent message in it without being inaccurate !

When reviewing code...

As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts

1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying

2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you

3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.

4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth

OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I just got an email from HackerRank saying they awarded me a certification...

I wonder what it is done I haven't been on there for at least a year...or two...

It turns out I am certified for basic problem solving....

Hm.... 🤔🤔🤔🤔

The way 90% of the population wears their face masks really explains a lot about their approach to using software, apps & websites as well.

I feel like giving up.

I am not a developer for the salary, or just to solve analytical puzzles. Those are motivators, but my main drive is to make the world more comfortable and enjoyable, better optimized, build ethical services which bring happiness into people's lives. I want to improve society, even if it's just a tiny bit.

But if users invest absolutely zero percent of their limited brain capacity into understanding a product that already has a super-clean design and responds with helpful validation messages...

...why the fuck bother.

I used to think of the gap between technology and tech-incompetent people as an optimization problem.

As something which could be fixed by spending a fortune on UX research. Write tests, hire QA employees, decrease tech debt, create a bold but unified & simple design.

But the technologically incompetent just get more entitled with every small thing you simplify.

It's never fucking fool-proof enough.

Why can't I upload a 220MB PDF as profile picture? Why doesn't the app install on my 9 year old Android Froyo phone? Why can't I sign up if my phone number contains a  U+FFFC? Why does this page load so slowly from my rural concrete bunker in East Ukraine? WHY DO I HAVE PNEUMONIA, HOW DID I GET INFECTED EVEN THOUGH I WAS WEARING A MOUTH MASK ON MY FOREHEAD?

This is why I ran away from Frontend, to Backend, to DBA.

If I could remove myself further from the end user, I would.

At least I still have a full glass of tawny port and a huge database which needs to be normalized & migrated.

Fuck humans, I'm going to hug a server.

Poor fellas. I feel what you're going through.

Look how spontaneous they were in mentioning the workaround part. Be vocal even if you have nothing to offer. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Me: opens the log file for some answers

Log file:

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

Laptop's WiFi module wasn't working.
Opened it and blew on the pins.
Now it works.

Hey fam, first post in devrant!

Possible client comes up to me and asks me what my mockup for his app looks like. I show it to him on running on my Android device.

Him: where are all the images and descriptions/info?

Me: you didn't give me any. I just made what it could look like if we had images and descriptions.

Him: well talk to some people in the departments and put it in.

Me: but that's not my job. You wanted me to make what it could look like if we actually went through with this project.

Him: okay. How hard would it be to make it for Apple?

Noooooooooo... I'm out.

Rob :Truth or Dare

Android Dev:Dare

Rob: Uninstall and reinstall your android studio with SDKs @50kbps

Android Dev:Truth