I want to learn a new programming language. What should I learn? I am torn between Kotling, Go and Scala.
Or should I just learn a new JS framework? ;)

Happy new year guys

Spending too much time on smaller decisions sometimes. Spending 5 minutes thinking about naming a variable and such.

Still not knowing by heart how to establish a MySQL PDO connection and always copy-pasting it.

Interviewer: What is your native language?

Me: Lisp

Interviewer: The programming language?

Me: Yeth

I studied ancient languages, because of corruption in my home country, I couldn't find any place in academy although my scores were above 90%. Moved to another country and taught myself web development. Naturally in time I lost almost all my knowledge of Latin, Ancient Greek, the whole ancient literature, history, philosophy and culture (everything from historical evolution of tremmas in letter i in ancient Greek to honey fish recipe in ancient Rome cousine). I'm super happy with Webdev tho but I think that also counts as data loss.

I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.

Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.

He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.

I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.

I included a card:

"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"

What if Doctors are treated as developers?

I asked my mom if I can buy myself a raspberry pi for my birthday.
No matter what I show or say to her, she won't stop telling me to bake my own raspberry pie. ;-;

Oh!! Nevermind!!

Being naive enough to assume I would have time to come back and "fix that later" - oh and also that I would still know exactly what "that" was and how my own code worked with zero documentation.

Filling a form :

Normal Person
Name: Jim Jennings
Comment: Nice Post

Developer
Name: asfsafsadsa
Comment: asfsafsadsa dsad sdfs fa

Person: Check out this “savage” file!

Me: Huh?

Person: *Shows SVG file*

🙄

My dad came with a windows laptop and asked me to convert a lot of jpg files to pdf on a usb stick (wtf?) he showed to me a tool on the laptop that convert files one by one ... and there is 58 jpg file.
Soooo I unpluged the usb key and pluged it into my linux laptop and ...

for f in *.JPG; do convert "$f" "pdf/$(basename "$f" .JPG).pdf"; done

My dad could not believe I had finished in 5 minutes

Linux Powaaaa !

A super creepy webcrawler I built with a friend in Haskell. It uses social media, various reverse image searches from images and strategically picked video/gif frames, image EXIF data, user names, location data, etc to cross reference everything there is to know about someone. It builds weighted graphs in a database over time, trying to verify information through multiple pathways — although most searches are completed in seconds.

I originally built it for two reasons: Manager walks into the office for a meeting, and during the meeting I could ask him how his ski holiday with his wife and kids was, or casually mention how much I would like to learn his favorite hobby.

The other reason was porn of course.

I put further development in the freezer because it's already too creepy. I'd run it on some porn gif, and after a long search it had built a graph pointing to a residence in rural Russia with pictures of a local volleyball club.

To imagine that intelligence agencies probably have much better gathering tools is so insane to think about.

Me and ma kid

And that was enough encouragement

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix.

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

Excuse me boss!

During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

I found a solid solution for clickbaiting!

You just have to:
... [read more]

Conversation with my boss via texts across the table in a meeting.

Good part : I'm on devRant more than I'm on Facebook.

Bad part : In on devRant more than I'm coding.

A son asks his mom,
"Why are computers smart?"

Mom replies, "Because they listen to their motherboard" 😄