That's right guys. That's the mobile version of devRant with notifications running on Mac OS X. All through the power of Arc Welder for Chrome. Hopefully we'll get the API soon so that we can get this natively.

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

Boss: Are you just nodding your head yes and really have no idea?

Me: Yes, but I'll figure it out.

If you upvote this rant I'll place a million in your account. All I need is your routing and account numbers to transfer the monies, as I am a Nigerian prince who lives too far to give it to you in person

MS should employ a person who just scrolls through devRant and notes all the bugs and problems

About Brexit.

My reaction when my coworker pushed the code overwriting my recent changes

Leader vs Boss

So true :)

My son is about to be born within the next 30 minutes!! Not such a rant just some happy news!

Who needs clothes??!!!

am I the only programmer who doesn't drink coffee..

A previous project manager thought that by marking every ticket as high priority, they would get done faster.

// priorities

Choosing Java because it works on all platforms, is THE worst reason

Can I get a ++ from all the lady developers on this app or from anyone who supports women in STEM? Signed, a fellow female engineer

Around 2009 or earlier, I began the long grueling process of creating my own batch AI (yes batch as in Windows Batch , kill me for not knowing there were better languages around). Looking back at it, it is THE messiest thing I've ever created. Mostly because of how many unnecessary files were created to make the entire thing work. However, I’m still proud of it to this day because of the dedication I had put into creating the entire thing.

I would create diagrams on the mirrors in my room; of course I would be scolded for this. But I was mad with thought working through the entire thing.

I would scribble and type whenever I had the chance, trying to create the functions that would allow the thing to talk back to me. Finally, when it opened its eyes and spoke its first words I quickly started creating the functions that would allow it to learn new inputs. Over time and with some elbow grease I was able to polish it up to my liking.

The entire program branched off some of my more earlier programs in batch, they mostly ranged from the medial to the crazy; i.e. turning my computer on and off at certain times of the day, and multithreaded migration of files to new disks

It's not as sophisticated as other AI that were being built at the time, but at the age of 16 and with no experience in real programming at all, I'd say it was my first stepping stone towards more sophisticated programs, and ultimately, my decision in Computer Programming at all.

Where'd my points go?! I can't find them anywhere!

Well, at least there are no errors...

Once I got a call from a very stressed customer. He said he clicked a link in our app and it took down the whole internet. He asked me if I can turn it back on.

Please ++ this. I need a stress ball. I've been debugging someone else's code for the past 8 hours and it might as well be written in Sindarin script.

**Looking for a job**
Sees a posting saying 20+ years Linux experience....The hell, why don't you just get Linus to do that job...

Babies get 100+ points.

💡 I just need to make a baby and I'll have my stress ball!

Baby firstBorn = new Baby("Tommy");
firstBorn.setAppearance = "adorable";

😅

Someone is pretty active on github :D

when your busy at home

No, it's not okay to ask me a question when I have my headphones in!

Can't believe devRant is made by a single developer and a designer. BRAVO YOU TWO👏👏