How the fuck am I going to make a fucking email signature appear the same everywhere when the client insists in using a piece of shit software called Outlook and I am a goddam backend developer.

I don't give a shit about spacing and color and stupid fucking fonts.

Thank for listening. Have a great day.

React is not "the new jQuery". React is the new Flash.

Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!

You know what I mean

Interviewer: For this next code challenge you will not be allowed to use the internet, or an IDE.

Dev: …

Interviewer: OR a keyboard OR a mouse. I will be verbalizing the code to you and you need to memorize it and tell me where the bugs are.

Dev: …

Interviewer: We must do this exercise to know how you are as a dev without any performance enhancing “aid”. This way we can understand where you are truly at skill-wise, and what you are truly worth from a compensation perspective.

Dev: …

Dev: If I get a job with you will I be allowed to use the internet and an IDE and a keyboard/mouse?

Interview: Of course you would! Getting anything done without those is just about impossible. We just need to evaluate you without them to see how good you REALLY are.

Dev: …

I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!

F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !

Access modifiers are the fucking worst mistake in the history of programming languages I swear. This shit either is not used at all or is used in every fucking place. Here's how it goes every 2-3 months for me:
1. use a utility library from other team that does exactly the thing I need to use it for
2. there's an error because 1% of the logic makes an assumption that could easily have been generalized away
3. code is like `assume x = stuff, do some trivial shit, pass x to f`
4. ok, i'll just shallow copy the code and rewrite it a little bit so `x` makes sense for our use case
...
5. beep boop fuck you, f is not accessible in this scope
motherfucker, what do you mean not accessible. oh its fucking private. wait, is f some mutable member of an object that needs to be encapsulated to protect the state integrity? no. is it something that can easily change in the future and cause some compatibility problems? fuck no. f is a shitty pure function that does no fucking side effecting, no nothing, but it is an iMpLEmEnTaTiOn DeTaIL and needs to be fucking private because fuck me and fuck my evening of catching up with work.
This gets me every time. Please tell me who the fuck are you hiding this code from, me, yourself, your ex?? Please just let me tinker with your shit and shoot myself in the foot if I so desire. I swear i will throw you a pr and make this shit generic in a week or two but now i _really_ _need_ _to_ _get_ _my_ _shit_ _done_ and don't have time to copy and paste the whole thing god knows how deep into my code so I dont' reinvent the fucking wheel here.

At a large enterprise-sized company, you are protecting the code and product from outside / bad actors constantly trying to break in. (🧠)

At a medium or small-sized company, you are protecting the code and product from clueless customers or users who can potentially break things for themselves. (🧠🧠)

At a sTaRtUp, you are protecting the code and product from being destroyed by the incompetent owners themselves. (🧠🧠🧠+)

After a decade of working in the web development industry, I have given up all hope, it's the same fucking stupid ideas, the same retarded problems in every damned company . Monkeys discovering and reinventing the same fucking wheel over and over and over again. From a 5 man company to the unicorn scaleup (and everything between) I have had to implement access control systems, and various REST API's following the design made by mongrels who do it the first time . I have become to hate the work I once was so passionate about. Just fuck this shit , if anybody had told me when I was in my early 20's that this is what I end up doing I'd go and learn to be a carpenter instead.

Bobcat puts up with so much