> Manager gives me new ticket.

> This seems like a ticket Dingus would do.

> Remember Dingus got fired a month ago.

> Realize I’m the new Dingus.

I don’t care how many tests you’ve passed, how many certificates you have on your wall, or how many letters you put after your name. I can tell if you’re an idiot one way or another.

“left / right” for a top/bottom picture. Left button to the right and right button to the left… genius.

//////

Not to do friendly fire or anything but most developers are fucking idiots

Don't understand why people diss Windows all the time. It has become so intelligent now that it can sense when you're onto something urgent and important... and then fuck you right in the ass by initiating updates.

I attended a webcall with the cat on my shoulder, some manager complained it was not professional.
Now, I do not know who that was so I'll have to just shoot in the crowd and take innocent victims, but from now I'll attend every single call with as many cats on screen as possible. Possible outcomes, and both are fine by me, either they cut down the amount of unnecessary calls -as to limit the amount of catness on their screen- or learn to grow the fuck up because unlike some retard I get paid for working, not for busting the balls to the people that actually work.

sorry :D

Nothing to say...

Every time I code.

Am I the only one who feels useless and like a piece of shit when not doing something? I started a new project after over a week of doing absolutely nothing and now I feel happier than while I was being an organic paperweight.

They are paying me 6€/h, to develop in fucking FoxPro, as a freelancer, illegally.
I don't know how to tell them I'd make way more money as a dogsitter (and also enjoy it way more).

It all began as a favor for my old company, "we really need it plz plz" and then I became a slave.

Fun fact: master’s degree is now called main degree

$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!

Every time I rant here I'm waiting to see if my employer will find them. Yet here I am another day having not been had.

I'll take the small wins

two things people think they are good at, but actually have no clue about:

regex and sex

[I just needed an excuse to write a post about those two, since they sound really nice to each other :D ]

Even the AI is woke

After 4 months of remote working I can honestly say the biggest downside is that weed is really really expensive, even if you grow it.

Medium Article Title: How to Optimize Your Use of the Terminal

Dev: Oh goody.

Article Content: The terminal is a cli that devs use in order to work at their jobs. It is a very important tool in which… (continued)

Dev: …

WHO IS THIS ARTICLE FOR?? PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GET BETTER AT THE TERMINAL BUT HAVE NO IDEA WTF A TERMINAL IS?

This isn’t high school english class, you can skip the circle jerk introduction.

I love it! Ranting is so therapeutic!

While everyone else is working, I took vacation for the whole December. Turns out, that was a brilliant move!

I stroll 20+km every day in this beautiful, puffy scenery.

CSS is faster than Rust.

Something as barebones as Postman, should not take 600MB of RAM :v
//and then hang and crash ffs

Use this as a template to send rejection letter to your recruiter as a revenge.

"Dear Recruiter,

Thank you for considering me for the software engineering position at your company. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your offer.

As a highly qualified and skilled software engineer, I am confident that I could bring a great deal of value to your organization. However, after reading the job description and learning more about your company, I have come to the realization that I am simply too good for the position. I have no interest in joining a team where my talents and abilities would be underutilized and unappreciated.

Furthermore, I am a bit concerned about the working environment at your company. I have heard rumors that the office is dingy, the cafeteria food is subpar, and the company culture is lacking. I am a true perfectionist, and I refuse to settle for anything less than the best.

In conclusion, I must decline your offer. I wish you and your company the best of luck in finding a candidate who is worthy of the position.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]"

we all know, RTFM doesn't stand for -> Read The Friendly Manual

I love when employers reach out to you like desperate fuck boys on a dating app.

Tell me more about your “amazing” benefits package that’s indistinguishable from any other, your PTO that is as “unlimited” as my phone plan, and the empty mustard packets you acquired in series Z funding.

I’ve got all day to watch your dance play out its milky chance.

A remake of a website named Death Roulette where Twitch viewers could bet against each other on how the streamer would die in different roguelike games like Spelunky or Crypt of The Necrodancer.

The original hadn't been updated in a long time and the API it used for Twitch authentication was deprecated and removed so I built my own version in about 2 months, just in time for streamer "Vargskelethor" Joel to play Spelunky 2 with his chat when the game came out.

Needed a bit of help from another chat member to get it running at scale but all in all that was my first full-stack project.

Trying to get ChatGPT to say inappropriate things is like talking to a fucking twitter user, having to reassure everybody every other sentence that no hypothetical people are being offended and that everything is fine

Dear brain, it's Saturday night, stop thinking about work!

Now I want to make a local programmer meetup called: Chad Programmers.

Filter out the weak, lol.