Details
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AboutAspiring beginner (front end) dev
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SkillsPython, Github, Flask, Lua, Löve, HTML, CSS, JS
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LocationWarsaw, Poland
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Github
Joined devRant on 11/4/2016
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HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)
I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.19 -
No I will not disable my AdBlocker to view your content.
I'll just disable JS in browser.
*Troll face*14 -
Be nice if tapping on a comment notification would open the correct rant and scroll it down to where it actually happened 🙃15
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begin_rant()
I like that coding is becoming more and more popular.
I like that more and more people are taking steps to manifest there ideas and potentially change the world.
But for fuck's sake... can't geeks be allowed to be the fat pimply introverts of the olden days?? This used to be a realm for the misfits, and now the same assholes who tormented said misfits are joining in and making the rest feel inadaquit all over again. You can't just be a coder anymore, now you have to be a good looking and health crazed professional with great personal skills and then somehow be able to also be a master of your craft.
I don't want to hear about how you write code in between your 100 pushups and avocado toast and having a few cold ones with the boys after your <insert sport here> game. I want to hear about how you ate pizza with one hand and crushed your build with the other in between sips of shitty soft drinks and fistfuls of candy while pulling an all nighter for the nth time cuz daylight is for pussies.
Too much pressure these days as it is, and this isn't helping.
break13 -
- "Have you ever used breakpoints?"
- "Umm.."
- "You ever saw a breakpoint?"
- "You mean like... "break;"?"
...15 -
FUUUCK! AAARRRGGGHH!
My colleague just typed 20/20 in a calculator😨 and he didn't believe me when I insisted that it was 1😭22 -
Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.
As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.
You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.
You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.
You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.
In other words:
Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.
Thanks.62 -
Back in the day when I was a junior developer, I somehow got hired by this guy who asked me to code his entire platform from scratch. I was being paid a junior dev salary, being asked to do senior dev work, and unfortunately I needed the money, so I didn't want to turn the job down. So I did what any junior dev would do in the situation... I decided to experiment and ended up with an insanely inefficient codebase.
For some stupid reason I thought that a good DB model would be to pull one record from the DB at a time, and then just repeat the method in a loop as needed. Keep in mind I was a self-taught junior dev. The backend worked great during development, and after 3 months of developing we decided to add a lot of data in the DB for further testing, and... you guessed it... the platform slowed down like shit!
Moral of the story... u get what you pay for, so hire great talent and pay them well! And also that self-taught junior devs don't know that the f@*k they are doing sometimes.5 -
I am So Humble!
Others: There is a hackathon soon! Participate, bro! You will do well!
Outer me: Nah, not now.
Others: Why?
Outer me: I am doing other things now. Don't have time.
Inner me: (crying) I dont have the skills to participate yet.......10 -
Trying to put together all the code of my ajax request into a function so I do not repeat myself. The code works perfectly outside but not in the function. Well fuck JavaScript. I've been stuck here for two days.19
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*Wants to learn a programming language*
*visits Udemy*
*It's costly af*
*Visits youtube*
*Plays learn complete java in 30 min*
*Completed*
*Visits hacker earth*
*Started solving a problem*
-- eternity later--
*Still on same problem*
*Cries in corner*
THE END18 -
So you poor devs... you have to be strong now, hr has a new tool to torture you: Skype has a new coding interview function.
What do you think about that? Good or even more abuse?19 -
*at front end job interview*
Me: so what kind of version control do you use?
CTO: well, one of the guys here developed our own system.. bla bla bla *turns around laptop*
Me: *sees internet explorer* NO THANKS 😬4 -
Dev pickup lines:
Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉
Comment your best10 -
Why do people talk so much in the real world. I'm okay with yes/no questions. Talking face to face is exhausting for me. Leave me alone. I'm okay with chat too.
Can't tell these to anybody for real tho.
Sighs.7