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Search - "fuck me"
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This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.
What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!51 -
Sales guy (s) : how many hours do you think this project will take?
Developer (d) : well I guess about 250 hours
(one week later)
S: I finally sold that project
D: nice! When do we start?
S: you'll start next week and it needs to be done one month later
D: 40 hours a week, times 4 weeks for one month is roughly 160 hours
S: yes
D: but I said I needed 250 hours
S: yeah but they didn't accept that so I sold it for less
...
(and no the scope didn't adjust to the new time frame)14 -
"alright, let's go to sleep"
*pulls out extension cord from monitors as I do every night*
*hears server buzzing disappearing*
😓
I entirely forgot that I connected my server which is running heavy and lengthy tasks, to that one, as well.
😧😥😬😰22 -
*on the phone with a client*
Important detail: in Dutch we call a colon a "double point" and a semicolon a "point comma".
Me: go to {url} and put double point followed by {something} behind it.
Client: *tries for 5 minutes, suggestions forth and back*
Me: how did you type the double points?
Client: I typed two points. (..)
The level of retardness I thought existed got worse once again.
At that moment the open window seemed like a veeery good option 😭15 -
Me on the train. A fucking 12 year old kid, fanboy of the iPhone X.
1. He calls it "X" (the letter). I bet he doesn't even know that it is a 10.
2. "it has only one port so you can use Bluetooth headphones". He seems like he is amazed by that. Like wtf? Guess what motherfucker you can use Bluetooth headphones even if you have a dedicated headphone jack.
3. "it has wireless charging"... Oh would you please fuck yourself you fucking donkey.
4. "it is so thin. Not like those other phones". So can somebody kick this guy or I will do it myself...
Sry gone full AlexDeLarge here...10 -
Lost the password to the main modem/router of our apartment (live in a normal flat of which the rooms are rented out to three students and me) which is in my room and tried to reset the fucker for a trillion times but couldn't get back in, the password didn't reset.
Took a closer look at the reset button and suddenly noticed some text under it saying "wireless connect". Then I noticed a tiny round "hole" above the reset text.
Fuck my sideways, I've been pressing the "wireless connect" button instead of the actual reset one every goddamn time 😐
I can now port forward again 😊6 -
Currently on an internship, PHP mostly, little bit of Python and the usual web stuff, and I just had the BEST FUCKING DAY EVER.
Wake up and find out I'm out of coffee, oh boy here we go.
Bus leaves 10 minutes late, great gonna miss my train.
Trains just don't wanna ride today, back in a bus I go, what's normally a 10 minute train travel is now a 90 minute bus ride.
Arrive at internship, coffee machine is broke, non problem, I'll just lose it slowly.
NOW HERE COMES THE FUCKING GOOD PART!!
Alright, so I'm working on a CMS that can be used just about on any device you want, mobile or desktop, it's huge, billion's of rows of scientific data. Very specific requirements and low error margins. Now, yesterday I was really enjoying myself here until today, Project manager walks in, comes to my desk and hands me a Samsung Gear S3, an Apple watch and some cheap knockoff. He tells me that before the Friday deploy, THE ENTIRE CMS SHOULD WORK ON THOSE WATCHES!
I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a challenge but it's just not right, I mean, I'm still not sure what the right way to handle tables on phones is, but smart watches, just no. Besides that, I've never worked with any Apple devices, let alone WatchOs, nor have I worked with Android Wear.
Also, Project Manager is a total dickhead, he's the kinda guy that prefers a light theme, doesn't clean up his code, writes 0 documentation for an API, 1 space = tab, pure horror.
So after almost flipping my desk, I just called my school coach to announce I'm leaving this internship. After a brief explanation he decides to come over, and guess what, according to the Project Manager I wasn't supposed to do that, I was supposed to test if it would be possible.
FUCKING ASSFUCKFACE9 -
Fuck stupid client.
Sorry:
Boss: client want to white label the solution.
Me: ok. They just need to create A record and send as SSL certificate and I will do it.
Client : here is your SSL certificate.
Me: spend whole night to make the transfer and setup server and check whole solutions one by one for reference to our company.
Next day wake around 2 pm to 100 whatsapp message, call from client and noss.
Turns out client IT team revoked the certificate without informing and the product stop working for all people.
Me: go to back to sleep.7 -
Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.
Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:
- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.
I wanted to copy some backup data over again:
1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.
2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.
3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.
4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.
5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.
This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.
FUCK.39 -
Them: “We want parallax on our website on mobile!”
Me: “Parallax does not work in a mobile web browser.”
Them: “But it does here!” Shows me an iOS app that does parallax.
Me: “That’s in an iOS app. Not a mobile web browser”.
Them: “ Oh well. I’m sure you’ll figure it out!”
😐😐😐😐😐.
Welp.23 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
Don't fucking insinuate that I'm wrong. I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH DATA.
So, someone at the factory put in a ticket that says the expedited truck carriers are showing up in the wrong place. I emailed my boss that's it's by design, has been for a while, as a result of business rules and sales wanting it to be shown as priority.
Then he passes it up the chain to see if the requested change should go through. The plant manager says his guys at the plant say it changed recently.
Then I respond "no, sorry, no changes recently. It's actually been that way at least 5 years."
He then responds "Well, my guys think it changed recently, and if it had been 'at least 5 years' they would have noticed by now."
Oh fuck no, motherfucker. You do not quote me saying I'm wrong. We have fucking version control to see the changes I have fucking proof.
At this point I'm shaking. Nothing pisses me off more than people saying I'm wrong, and nothing excites me more than telling people they're wrong. We have an overlap.
So then I go back and back and back in the blame, find the exact change and ticket for when this started happening. Email all this data to my boss. He then takes the pettiness and salt out of my tone and forwards it pretty much saying "actually, we have exact proof that it happened 6 years, 7 months ago. Here's your proof."
This happened early morning. No respond the rest of the day. That's fucking right.rant don't fuck with me 6y 7m 11d i am untethered and my rage knows no bounds i will destroy you i have fucking data3 -
First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'
Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?
Damn, really?!9 -
So WhatsApp introduced number linking (with facebook) to its users a while ago.
I know a lot of people who opted out (this option was introduced by facebook because of european laws) because they didn't want their number linked. They said that it infringed their privacy (or however the fuck you spell that).
A few months later we found out that that checkbox thingy didn't do anything and facebook would link everything anyways. They got a 10 million euro fine I thought.
I found one thingy very disturbing though. Told some friends about the ability to opt out (when the scandal hadn't happened yet) and they did right away.
Then later on the scandal became public.
Told them about that.
'Oh but I don't have anything to hide, it's alright!'.
Jesus fucking christ how deep can people sink?! First you say that you opt out because you don't want your fucking data linked and when the fucking scandal gets public you act like everything is fine because 'you have nothing to hide anyways'.
Fucking hell.50 -
Much-security.nl is down.
No, no hack or whatsoever. I just reinstalled the wrong server through my control panel.
The new blog version will hopefully be up tonight. 'you keep promising that' - I don't have a backup of the old version and I only just started using git so I can only upload the new version (or git pull). Next to that, except for the front-end, everything works now.
😐23 -
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!18 -
Tester raises bug:
"Error when loading application in Opera 11.1"
Current Opera version - 48
No tester. Just. Fucking. No6 -
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
Spent my entire evening figuring something out (I'm new to this) and finally found a possible solution.
Got ready for writing test code, very excited...... aaaaaaand noticed its past 11pm so I've got to go to bed because work tomorrow
😥😭26 -
One of my friend at college asked me why her computer is running slow even when she is running only chrome.
Me: how much memory does it have?
Her: 1TB.
Me (somewhat confused): no no I meant RAM.
Her: yeah yeah it's one TB. I read the specifications of the laptop.
Me: *in my mind, fucking read it again* please read it again. You must have misread it.
Her( grinning face ): alright.
Guess who didn't talk to me for a week. 😂14 -
Oh, you're 87% Web Design, are you? Get the fuck outta here.
Literally one of my biggest pet peeves for CVs/resumes/company website templates9 -
Me : right, I should replace my multiple cases in my switch with a regex so that code will be prettier
Also me : oh shit I don't know how regex works, I forgot, I'm a dumb piece of shit I should ask my dev friends how to do it
Then again, me : Oh shit I don't have any friends12 -
"let's setup a seedbox quickly to seed Linux iso's!"
-
You can remove that 'quickly' part. My own goddamn fault but fuck this is annoying.4 -
Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...2 -
Url shortener seems to be working well enough as for the features without interface yet, still doing testing but it's looking good (few minor non-critical bugs but that's it as far as I can see)
Now the frontend/interface.
😅😰😬32 -
> Gained the skills to atleast land an internship
> Hyped asf
> Start applying for jobs
> Hyped asf
> Days go by without a response
> Hype starts dying
> Gets a REAL email delivered to my inbox asking to come in for an interview
> Hype levels regenerated
> Interview goes great and both founder and senior dev are fine with hiring me
> Founder needs to talk with co-founder first before giving the go and said he will get back to me in a day or two.
> The hype is too real
> 5 days go by without a reponse
> Hype levels: all time low
> Decide to follow up, founder said he left for a conference before the co-founder came back to talk about it and said he will get with her and let me know in a few days.
> The hypening is back
> A week goes by with no response
> I'm dead inside rn.8 -
I downloaded an API. Said API requires Java. Said Java version is 1.6... you can no longer download 1.7 or earlier versions..
RIP.12 -
Why all the hate? Jesus...
I love my Windows 10 laptop, I love my Android phone, I love working in PHP. But I would never, NEVER, think less of anyone who prefers Mac/Linux/iPhone/C#/Python/what-ever-the-fuck12 -
You never estimate the importance of backups until you forgot the WHERE statement on a DELETE query.11
-
I'm going for longest rant. TL:DR; version here:
http://pastebin.com/0Bp4jX9y
then:
http://pastebin.com/FfUiTzsh
Twat Client,
As per our conversation, here is an invoice for the work you requested on behalf of U.S. Bloom. I realize that you ended up going with another designer, but you did request samples of what my take on the logo design would be. The following line item is indicative of 1 hour of graphic design consultation as per your request via Skype.
As I recall, you mentioned that this is not how Upwork "works" but considering it was you who requested that I converse with you via Skype instead of via the Upwork messenger, and since there were no clear instructions on how to proceed with Upwork after our initial consultation, It is assumed that you were foregoing Upwork altogether to work with me directly, thus the invoice from me directly for my time involved in the project. I would have reached out to you via Skype, but it seems that you may have severed our connection there.
After spending a little time researching your company, I could not find current information for Basic Media Marketing, but I was able to reach out to your former partner Not A. Twat, who was more than helpful and suggested that he would encourage you to pay for the services rendered.
It is discouraging that you asked for my help and I delivered, but when I ask for compensation in return for my skills, you refused to pay and have now taken your site offline and removed me as a contact from Skype.
{[CLIENT of CLIENT]},
I am sorry that I have bothered you with this email. I copied you on it merely for transparency's sake. I am sure that your logo is great and I am sure whatever decision was made is awesome for your decision. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't getting "samples" of other people's work passed off as original work by Twat Media Marketing.
I can't speak for any of the other candidates, but since Twat asked me to conduct work with him via Skype rather than through Upwork, and since he's pretty much a ghost online now, (Site Offline, LinkedIn Removed or Blocked, and now Skype blocked as well) one has to think this was a hit and run to either crowdsource your logo inexpensively or pass off other artist's work as his own. That may not be the case, but from my perspective all signs are pointing to that scenario.
Here is a transcript. Some of his messages have been redacted.
As you can clearly see, requests and edits to the logo were being made from Jon to me, but he thinks it's a joke when I ask about invoicing and tries to pass it off as an interview. Do you see any interview questions in there? There were no questions about how long I have been designing, what are my rates, who have I done work for in the past, or examples of my previous work. There were none because he didn't need them at this point.
He'd already seen my proposal and my Behance.net portfolio as well as my rates on Upwork.com. This was a cut to the chase request for my ideas for your logo. It was not just ideas, but mock designs with criticism and approval awaiting. Not only that, but I only asked for an hour of compensation. After looking at the timestamps on our conversation, you can clearly see that I spent at least 3 hours corresponding with Twat on this project. That's three hours of work I could have spent on an honest paying customer.
I trust that TWATCLIENT will do the right thing. I just wanted you guys to know that I was in it to do the best design I could for you. I didn't know I was in it to waste three hours of my life in an "interview" I wasn't aware I was participating in.
Reply from ClientClient:
Hello Sir,
This message is very confusing?
We do not owe your company any money and have never worked with you before.
Therefore, I am going to disregard that invoice.
Reply from TWATCLIENT's boss via phone:
I have two problems with this. One I don't think your business practices are ethical, especially calling MY client directly and sending them an invoice.
Two why didn't you call or email Jon before copying my client on the email invoice?
Me: Probably because he's purposely avoiding me and I had no way to find him. I only got his email address today and that was from a WHOIS lookup.
Really, you don't think my business practices are ethical? What about slavery? Is that ethical? Is it ethical to pass of my designs to your client for critique, but not pay me for doing them?
... I'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK!
My email follow up:
http://pastebin.com/hMYPGtxV
I got paid. The power of CCing the right combination of people is greater than most things on Earth.14 -
You dumb, stupid fucking idiot.
Yes, that's me. Spent an hour debugging something, only to find out I wasn't paying attention when going through the API ref. Fucking fuck. Such a waste of time.2 -
"Can't we extract the UNIX from Linux and use it as our server operating system?"
fml
Linux isn't even based on UNIX, but this piece of shit of a bitch of client was so freaking stubborn, and wanted a RAR file of UNIX from me7 -
TFW your client's git policies are so draconian that the dev teams use "develop" as trunk, and completely ignore the release process.
I wrote up 50 pages of git standards, documentation and procedure for a client. Bad indian director 9000 decides the admin (also Indian) who specializes in Clearcase and has no git or development experience is more qualified to decide and let's him set the policy.
FF to today:
- documentation, mostly contradictory, is copy pasted from the atlassian wiki
- source tree is the standard
- no force pushing of any branches, including work branches
- no ff-merge
- no rebasing allowed
- no ssh, because he couldn't figure it out...errr it's "insecure"
- all repos have random abbreviated names that are unintelligible
- gitflow, but with pull requests and no trust
- only project managers can delete a branch
- long lived feature branches
- only projects managers can conduct code reviews
- hotfixes must be based off develop
- hotfixes must go in the normal release cycle
- releases involve creating a ticket to have an admin create a release branch from your branch, creating a second ticket to stage the PR, a third ticket to review the PR (because only admins can approve release PRs), and a fourth ticket to merge it in
- rollbacks require director signoff
- at the end of each project the repo must be handed to the admin on a burned CD for "archiving"
And so no one actually uses the official release process, and just does releases out of dev. If you're wondering if IBM sucks, the answer is more than you can possibly imagine.12 -
2days into changes in our team, so now I'm the only developer
client: so can you give me contact of another person while you're on vacation?
me: well, unfortunately I'm the only developer...
client: (ರ_ರ)
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3 -
For fucking once in my life I decide to go very early to bed so I can be 100% clear in my head for today's meetings. What happens is the following:
1. going to bed at 10pm.
2. Falls asleep relatively fast (yay)
3. Wakes up at 1am
4. Has a major headache and gets dizzy when I get up to go take a leak
5. Grabs a huge glass of water
6. Goes to sleep again
7. Wakes up at 3am with major headache and gets dizzy when I get up again.
8. Grabs another huge glass of water and goes back to sleep.
It's now 4:36am and I'm wide awake, with no headache, and no ability to sleep apparently. F... M... L!!!7 -
Had a job interview back where I want to move(2300 miles away), doing exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately it was for a senior developer, a bit over my pay grade.
First Interview: "It is above your skill level, but I like you. We will make it fit you."
Second Interview(technical): " You did super well! I will make sure to pass the good news onto the boss! I am excited to work with you soon!"
Response to my thank you email: "We decided to not persue you further for this position. We are going with someone who has more experience."
Why string me along?!?!4 -
Fuck College, Fuck C, Fuck the people that didnt help me with my C code and in fact made my problems worse and didn't fucking help me, Fuck the bastard that decided to give my the largest mountain of homework, fuck my inability to get shit done, fuck myself for not getting motivated to do anything. And also fuck Javascript cause its JavaScript.
Edit: IM ALSO FUCKING RETARDED41 -
"Are you going to finish this part or am I going to need to hire someone else?"
~ Asked by a client less than a week into cleaning up and upgrading his Drupal 6 site to Drupal 7 which hadn't been touched in 8 years... Right after pleading with me about how he had no budget and couldn't afford any hours of development.5 -
!rant
I just asked for a 42% raise having an already good salary and got it easily.
The best thing? I helped this company grow so much I barely work half the time I used to due to the newly hired workforce. I can work on my own projects so much.9 -
Came home to this.... Wtf? So MS has begun resetting settings to their liking? This is messed up... Another item to the list of why I need to get a Linux partition going..19
-
Is a code truly tested until it has print("Fuck this"), print("Fuck that"), print("Fuck you"), print("Fuck me") spread along every code path?8
-
It has officially been piss on my chips day.
1 bus pass refused to work today.
2 my pixel decided it would die. Will not boot or charge.
3 go on lunch and get battered by hailstone.
4 work pc decided it wants to blue screen whilst updating.8 -
Me at midnight: let's release a demo build
Me at 1 am: why are there so many bugs? Why won't it compile.
Me at 2 am: omg finally compiled. Runs it, buttons don't work. Closes it, reopens it. Buttons work.
Me at 3 am: let's write apologetic posts for the bugs, but post the version anyway
Me at 4 am: why do I advertise in so many places
Me at 5 am: let's update the patreon reward tiers
Me at 5:30 am: nah fuck this, going to bed.
Mom at 9 am: wake the hell up we need you to dig out a hill and build a stone wall around one side of the house.
Me: omg wtf why.
Me at 2:30 pm: why the hell are we doing this, I have so many bugs to patch and everyone knows they are there because I told them all!5 -
Don't you just love when your program finally compiles and runs error-free and...
It would be nice if it also returned what it was supposed to, but--6 -
Fuck web dev.
I dabbled in many areas but I do web dev most often. And seriously: fuck web dev. Your site has to work on multiple browsers. Multiple screen resolutions. The code has to be tiny for load time. The images have to work for every resolution and still be small. The styling can look different in different browsers. So many useful javascript features are only supported by modern browsers. An on top of that: IE.
I’ve gotten quite good at all of this, but still: it’s such a fucking pain.11 -
Looks like /dev/body got tainted.. nasal memory leaks all over the place 😷
$ kill -9 $(pidof cold)
... Nothing.
$ sudo !!
I said kill the fucking cold!!! Y u no listen to your admin?! 😠
> User condor is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.
RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!! 😣😣😣
I just want to finish my goddamn power supply project, instead of getting bed-ridden by a cold, and running through paper towels like there's no tomorrow 😭6 -
God fucking dammit.
I got assigned to a WordPress project...
I AM NOT A WORDPRESS DEVELOPER!!!
Why do I have to deal with this giant pile of stinking shit?
I'm a php developer, I make applications, I don't write fucking wordpress plugins...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST, WHY DID WORDPRESS BECOME SUCCESSFUL WHY CAN'T I JUST DEV IN PIECE.
Dear wordpress developers,
Please suffocate on a big fat old cock.
Regards.10 -
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.rant fuck the planet fuck humanity fuck everything fuck despacito fuck despastico fuck life fuck me fuck humans fuck the world fuck this shit fuck society2 -
FUCK NODEJS
FUCK NPM
FUCK ANGULAR
FUCK ALL THOSE FUCKIN PACKAGES
FUCK THIS PILE OF CRAP MAKING ME WASTE MY TIME13 -
My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.
Shit falls on me since he ain't here.
Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....
know why?
Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.
Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification... -
Shit i have 25 classmates and only me and 4 other guys are coding and only i use Git. Fuck i think i will cry need to teach them a lot about real programming and devRant😥😥😥😥8
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So I studied for a long time about scrum, convinced my boss, his boss and our team to consider it, everyone liked it but seems to don't understand it very well.
I organized meetings about it and everything...
This week the majority of our team will attend a Google event about scrum in another city.
Guess who is not going?11 -
Step 1: try a third party defragmentation tool as windows' one is shit
Step 2: go to sleep while shit is getting done
Step 3: ???
Step 4: prof- Wait what ? Fuuuuu6 -
Writing a Firefox add-on which analyzes the current webpage's links and puts a warning if one of those links to one of the prism (surveillance network) integrated services/companies.
Nearly ready enough for testing (real working version) when I suddenly realize: web pages can request resources without links.
Gotta rewrite the fucker partly now.
How fucking stupid can I be. 😐13 -
Developing something which, for real world testing, would require a smartphone with a gps chip/capability or however the fuck you call that.
I do have that but it's so goddamn hard to get a lock on my location which makes it very hard to test this IRL.
😥7 -
Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.2
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StackOverflow in a nutshell
This gets me so angry; Two identical answers, one downvoted into oblivion and the other one upvoted like it is a holy grail.6 -
I have been having bad luck...
First, windows kept wiping my arch drive.
Then my phone got fucked up in the middle of rooting so I had to reflash Android.
Then after I successfully rooted, I accidentally turned on bootloader lock which dissabled booting in to any mode (because I modified system files).
So then I had to reflash again.
Then I had problems because Knox is a bitch.
So I reflashed again. (It finally worked).
Then I tried installing arch again and fucked up my graphics drivers.
Then I installed Arch again and it finally worked!
But then I was modifying settings on chrome os and fucked up my Chromebook's graphics driver.
Then I had to reflash my Chromebook and put it back in to developer mode.
Then my phone started having permissions problems so I had to reflash it again.
So I have concluded:
Technology doesn't like me.
At least my arch install looks cool and my Android launcher looks like this:15 -
Dev pickup lines:
Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉
Comment your best10 -
OMG I just accidentally deleted hundreds of hours of work permanently ... F*** ME 😱😱😱😨😨😱😰
THIS IS WHY I DON'T FUCKING USE AUTOMATED BATCH SCRIPTS.22 -
Friend: Networking is important. My boyfriend introduced me to X, who then introduced me to Y and that's how I got a job.
Later that day...
Friend: Why didn't you apply for this party? What did I say about networking?
Me: Because I didn't know and because I don't follow that guy on twitter so I didn't see he tweet the google forms.
In my mind: How come nobody introduces me to anybody?
I was just mad that this happened and had to get this out of my head. Nobody ever introduces me to anybody and I am really really shy and an introvert, so I almost never introduce myself to anybody. Clearly I'm gonna die homeless or have a shitty job. Hey artists, I'll gladly take that fucking exposure!10 -
fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB
if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK2 -
Someone once told me that 32-bit operating systems were better than 64-bit ones because the pointers are half the size.
*confused thinking face*16 -
Just discovered a major bug in a frontend app of ours that might have been collecting wrong data in a form for months already :)
That is what happens when you put a back end Dev to do front end and back end while demanding rework every fucking 2 days for 9 months straight.4 -
Sometimes.. Sometimes I really want to punch a developer in the face.
Heres why. Please appreciate the few minutes i spent on editing this to look nicer xD8 -
Oh fuck... OH FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS!
So, I made an interview and recorded it with Audacity...
Stupid me only stopped the recording and closed it...
WITHOUT SAVING! I DIDNT FUCKING SAVE THE FUCKING RECORDING! FUCK!
I DIDNT SAVE HALF AN HOUR OF AUDIO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN! IT DIDNT EVEN ASK ME TO FUCKING SAVE IT!
or was it??
FUCK NOW IM PARANOID!14 -
Every last 10 days of the year we have a break...
I'm just gonna implement CI/CD in this motherfucking environment and blow everyone's mind at January, I'm sick of working as an amateur... -
First Hackathon ends today. Long story short: I was the only programmer of the team, we only had 2 days to develop it (of which we spent the first day doing research, so 1 day of coding), so guess what it's shit.
I basically took a bootstrap theme, hardcoded some data. Put some js on top for interactions and a node js backend, to interface some APIs. Just by looking at the code you'll get cancer, but the others of the team where impressed, how good it looked an worked...
Let's hope the judges aren't familliar with coding as well (our challenge got two judges whereof one works at a bank as some guy whearing a suite and sponsoring stuff... Ao chances should be ok)
Honestly fuck this. Not one team (afaik) has pfoduced anything close to being finished...10 -
3 hours in and I realize, I fucked up. I should have gotten another stand...
Middle monitor is a different model, but I didn't consider that the holes could be on different heights...14 -
So, I'm investigating this flipping problem at work involving mbeans. Other than the fact that it's a fun fucking word to say, idk a damn thing about it, and the people who are having problems with them/it are looking at me like I'm a fucking pregnant triceratops... HOW THE HELL am I supposed to fix your shit if you aren't going to tell me why you need mbeans, what you do to cause the error, and what you do to make it go away. YOU'RE GIVING ME LESS THAN NOTHING... on a temperature scale, we're in negative Kelvin...
Also, anyone know what in the world an mbean in? Because right now, these overpaid idiots are making me think it's not a thing and just another way of saying "coffee"10 -
Hey I see that you're trying to access your account. That sucks, we don't have your phone number in our records. But that's Ok because we're going to send you the confirmation letter by snail mail...
Fucking What?
I mean, I guess that's secure... but seriously though 5-10 days until I can see what is happening with my taxes? This is insanity -
Okay, so I have a question...
Although unethical, I’m considering disabling a clients services without warning. They’re 6 months behind on paying me and I have complete access over their network infrastructure. Upon reading our contract, I’ve made the mistake of incorporating services will be discontinued due to lack of payment... But, I know if I disable things they’re not smart enough to figure out why they aren’t working and call me... That’s when I’ll tell them that I can’t preform work until past bills are paid in full.
I’m located somewhere in the US. Is this too unethical, too illegal? I just want my fucking money... Thanks!
EDIT: Yes I have invoiced then monthly. They’ve received them because I had deliver al invoices to avoid the “oh I never received it” claims.25 -
I fucking hate meetings! I just spent 3 hours in a meeting arguing on how to do pull requests to master.
I am now nursing a severe headache of bullshit ideas and loud voices!!!!!!3 -
FUCK Y.O.U. windows 10 for making my pc not recognize mics on the front port.
Seriously i usually dont mind windows that much but really ?! Oh hello i noticed you changed your os version THEN LET ME FUCK UP YOUR DRIVERS SO YOU FEEL LIKE A RETARD NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK.
Worst is i feel like an idiot because i have no idea how to fix this shit apart from buying a new PC, aaaaand im pretty sure while trying to fix it i made it worse
FUCK IM A SCRUB. FUCK PEOPLE ON INTERNET AND THEM "It works". NO IT DOESNT !
And now i feel like a worthless dev because of w1057 -
So, this poor fucker right here has spent 3 hours straight trying to install KDE Neon AGAIN, FOR THE 14TH TIME AS OF TIME OF WRITING on an old 0.5TB hard drive with some GiB-wise partitioning size and apparently the disk doesn't like it.
Can someone give me a dildo so I can fuck myself more because life is not fucking me hard enough? No lube needed kthanksbye11 -
So I'm not sure whether this actually is a believable story or not but I think I'll just share the saddest moment in my life with you.
So.... I've been working with a boy 0.5years younger than me on a project in Java so he could learn something about programming. I was actually dictating him code because he wasn't able to JUST WRITE ONE SINGLE LINE OF CODE WITHOUT ASKING ME HOW TO DO SHIT!!! So I dictated him a for each loop:
Me: "for ( Foo foo colon foos ) {doSomeShit();}"
Him: "for ( Foo foo .. foos ) {doSomeShit();}
For your understanding: in German colon means doppel punkt / double dot. I didn't think someone actually writes two dots... THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD
Please don't blame me for being a bad teacher. I'm inn a class with him and I know we did that in class. I also thought it multiple times to him6 -
Biggest thing that pisses me off about windows 10 is the fact that they do not give two shits about wasting your internet, and they try to hide everything in obscure split settings, set updates to happen at a specific time sure but did your dumb ass remember to disable downloading app updates in the store? Probably not.
Heck how about we preload apps for you because you are on mobile aren't you, we know it is a desktop but we would really love to be the next android so here you go have apps all the apps.
Instead of being the foundation for things you actually intend to install we want to also give you a sample fucking 200 level tower that will take forever to demolish so you can start building the cozy cottage you do want.
I am digressing , but final thought is just that Windows can be a 1gb install since the rest of the shit is what fucktards that use a Samsung S8 just to facebook want.
Plebs.1 -
Anyway I just want to fucking write code. I don't want to deal with people or give an opinion that is not appreciated. My manager says I am too aggressive but the truth is I hate stupidity and incompetence. I tell them their ideas are shit and not in a polite way and they make HR call me. Now I don't say shit and they are asking what I think. I think all of you are cunts that's what I think.but I don't say that. I say no comment when I know they are about to fall into a massive ditch. Will I stop them? Fuck no. Will I help them out if the ditch? Maybe, if it only involves writing code. I can't do diplomacy. I'll definitely be a fucking tyrant if I ever ruled a nation.rant ugggh fuck this and let me write killer code. i can't seem to please anyone management sucks ass16
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Stupid piece of legacy shit needing to silent print without the dialogs in IE on windows 10.
this is proving to be a thing of nightmares.
this has worked for years but no windows need to block this “for security”
windows and security - i would laugh but this is going to keep me awake at night.1 -
God I wish it was legal to kill people... Taxi driver stopped outside the building.. on the street, not even parked, bur there are many empty spaces that he is also blocking - which would be another issue with these assholes during the day time..parking in the street, going to get some coffee, not the takeaway.. they sit on their fat asses and watch you struggle to park a car cuz it's a narrow street..
And now he's blasting music at full volume.. It's fucking 4 am!! 04:04!! Friggin birds aren't even up yet!!
Fuck you!! One day that it's not extremely hot here and I could actually sleep..and now I can't cuz this asshole woke me up with music.
Just die you sad excuse of a human being!!14 -
When you laugh at people who crack their phone screens, and then you drop yours face down on asphalt and your screen shatters. Life is fair sometimes10
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New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
Have you ever reach a point where you lost any desire or mood to do anything? Like when you don't even want to rant about the fuckedupshit you are in.9
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Fuck the NBN - you aussies will know!
So apparently Fixed IPs are not a thing for HFC connections unless you have a business account.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Although I didn’t pay for a fixed ip on adsl and it states it’s “dynamic”, mind you it hasn’t changed in 6 years... so it may aswell be fixed right? Right?
Now I have to go explore DDNS with Cloudflare, looks like a api call on ip change will do the trick but urgh.
Ps: I finally.... made it to the nbn - well that’s next week...
only 3 years overdue since my first “NBN ready” letter 😂2 -
Windows users this is a PSA!
If you start getting BSOD's for no apparent reason, go find KB4535996 and uninstall it.
I've had 3 BSOD's just trying to work out wtf is causing this in the last 10 minutes.
https://windowslatest.com/2020/03/...6 -
Ok, so I basically spent my weekend trying to work out why the fuck my python docker container would not connect to my mariadb docker container. Tried fucking everything, bridged network, host network, links (even though theyre deprecated), you name it. It would NOT WORK!
In my despair I finally turned to StackOverflow. There I was told 5min after posting the question that the reason was probably that mysql is a quite heavy service, which takes a bit to start up.
I thought to myself "Oh, get the fuck outta here, that can't be it, shit's way too easy to work!"
I tried it nevertheless by adding a 10sec delay before querying the database AND THE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS!! So, I essentially just lost a weekend because I was too impatient... I think I'm gonna punch some trees now.4 -
New contract termination clause to be included in all future project contracts: "Contracting client agrees that uttering the phrase 'Your job is whatever I say it is,' or any semanticaly equivalent variant thereof is grounds for immediate contract termination. All work product and IP rights will transfer and assign to contracting client ONLY upon payment in full of contracted payment amount prorated to contract termination date."
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When you spend two weeks coding something only to find out there is a cool generator that could write 90% of your code for you7
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This bus driver really has to stop wasting my fucking time. He was 8 minutes late in the first place (this line is NEVER late) and then he took a 10 minute detour which means I'll be 2 trains late for work. Fucking great start on the week!5
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Working as a part time student on an app and until now I thought I was the king of software development.
Well, fuck me and my high horse.
Today the stuff we send from the client to the server didn't arrive, so I asked the backend guy if he could take a look at the packages arriving. He did and told me the data was messed up.
I did only design stuff the last week or so, so I was very confused. After reverting back to one old commit after the other it struck me.
I still don't know how such a dumb mistake could have happened to me, the king of Android apps, but apparently I replaced all occurrences of a specific keyword in just the strings and comments of the whole project. Key became KeyList, so instead of <Keys> my XML contained <KeyList> which made no goddamn sense whatsoever.
Did I mention that we have an important deadline tomorrow? Yeah...
So now I leaned my lesson. Never trust XML.
JK I'm dumb. That's the lesson here. -
There's nothing like staying up all night, writing code at 3am by candlelight, drinking whiskey...
Or I can go to bed at 9pm Friday night feeling like absolute crap. That works too... Fuck having the flu, just kill me now... -
Why is fuck as a fucking word used so fucking often??? In like every other fucking rant on my fucking feed...6
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Here we go....
At our school we had different industry people come in and talk about whatever they want to.
My last presenation for the day is on 3D modelling in Game Design, and of course we have middle school kids being generally loud and obnoxious.
Some fuckers are being exceptionally obnoxious, and the teachers decided, in their infinite FUCKING wisdom, to stick them in front of a table where Juniors and Seniors are sitting, minding our own buisness.
Of course, the fuckers decided to continue being obnoxious and despite my request to keep it down, and another Senior's direct approach to tell them to shut up, they continue being disruptive.
At one point, a teacher, again using INFINITE FUCKING WISDOM, decided that instead of removing the fuckers from the room, put a Senior in between them, hoping that that would somehow keep them quiet. Yes, the fucking preschool level attempt didn't work.
Eventually a teacher concluded that the fuckers were pissing us off and removed them from the room. Thank fuck.
That feels much better, excuse me as I need to reinstall an OS on my desktop since the Universe seems to fucking hate me today.undefined presentations shut the fuck up grow the fuck up fucking immature assholes the universe fucking hates me today -
For fucks sake
Will I really have to become the fucking PM around here so shit start being done properly?
We look like bunch of scared cockroaches doing random shit everyday and lying to our selves that we are gonna meet deadlines and produce quality software but the only shit we can produce is quality bug.1 -
Me after using Prolog for 6 hours because of University...
Sometimes prolog gives me brainfuck (pun intended)3 -
I don’t know what this rant will look like, but hold tight because I’m pissed as fuck.
Why? Well, let’s start with the protagonist, which is me.
ARE YOU A NEW KIND OF IDIOT? 2 DAYS FOR A CABLE.
Let me explain this, I’ve picked up an old HP ProDesk 600G from work, works pretty well, installed 16Gb RAM, 3x 1TB Disks, let’s use it for some lab environment.
Wipe Windows, repartition this mess, install Kubuntu, went all ok, let’s reboot.
Login screen: fine, desktop: nothing. Two folders, command bar works. I try to open Konsole, nothing shows up. I try to go on tty2, nothing, tty3 something shows up.
Ok, maybe I’ve messed up something, let’s update, upgrade , fix missing and blablabla.
Fuck me, nothing works. Let’s go check the logs. Nothing.
What the fuck? Well it’s late let’s go to sleep. Next day I start over, reinstall Kubuntu, same problem.
Debug : nothing.
Then. THEN. I see this fucking cable. The fucking VGA. I was in DVI, what the fuck? Then I realised that I plugged in all sort of cables and plugged DVI AND VGA and DVI was set as second output. I was on FUCKING SECOND SCREEN THE WHOLE TIME. After unplugging naturally everything was normal again.
Fuck you self idiot. Fuck you.
Anyway, I’m also pissed of about my roommate. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ANYTHING WITHOUT ASKING. Holy fucking shit, if you need to touch something, put your hand into your dirty pants and shake your immaculate dick.
I set up a fucking smart house not to fucking break everything. If a cable is there, leave it there. If I put an access point on a closet, leave it fucking there. Do you think I just want to wavebath to get a fucking tan? NO, I HAVE NI FUCKING COVERING IN MY ROOM.
If there’s a bulb in my lamp DO NOT FUCKING SWIPE IT. I spent 15 Minutes understanding why I couldn’t turn it on with my fucking phone.
FUCK YOU, and your mother that so badly designed your inorganic piece of cells that we call brain3 -
Today may be the day I walk the fuck out... Almost done with the 3rd revisions of the fucking website and guess what?
To - “Anony”
Subject - website
Hey, here’s a list of changes we’d like for the website. Instead of following the theme of “WhateverTheFucksHopsital.html” we’d like for it to look similar to “AnotherFucksWebsite.html”. The board would like to see this up and running in the next week.
How’s about you sit and spin. You haven’t given me any information on a website only that you want it to look like some other hospitals. Then, you add photographer to my fucking job description as well as information hunter. You can fuck yourself and higher an outside company to create your website from scratch again for the now 4th fucking time. Then, you’ll understand and see just how fucking expensive it is... Nor will that company take your shit with the lack of information coming from your end. You can kindly, suck my dick.2 -
Holy shit firefox, 3 retarded problems in the last 24h and I haven't fixed any of them.
My project: an infinite scrolling website that loads data from an external API (CORS hehe). All Chromium browsers of course work perfectly fine. But firefox wants to be special...
(tested on 2 different devices)
(Terminology: CORS: a request to a resource that isn't on the current websites domain, like any external API)
1.
For the infinite scrolling to work new html elements have to be silently appended to the end of the page and removed from the beginning. Which works great in all browsers. BUT IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE SCROLLING DURING THE APPENDING & REMOVING FIREFOX TELEPORTS YOU RANDOMLY TO THE END OR START OF PAGE!
Guess I'll just debug it and see what's happening step by step. Oh how wrong I was. First, the problem can't be reproduced when debugging FUCK! But I notice something else very disturbing...
2.
The Inspector view (hierarchical display of all html elements on the page) ISN'T SHOWING THE TRUE STATE OF THE DOM! ELEMENTS THAT HAVE JUST BEEN ADDED AREN'T SHOWING UP AND ELEMENT THAT WERE JUST REMOVED ARE STILL VISIBLE! WTF????? You have to do some black magic fuckery just to get firefox to update the list of DOM elements. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEBUG MY WEBSITE ON FIREFOX IF IT'S SHOWING ME PLAIN WRONG DATA???!!!!
3.
During all of this I just randomly decided to open my website in private (incognito) mode in firefox. Huh what's that? Why isn't anything loading and error are thrown left and right? Let's just look at the console. AND IT'S A FUCKING CORS ERROR! FUCK ME! Also a small warning says some URLs have been "blocked because content blocking is enabled." Content Blocking? What is that? Well it appears to be a supper special supper privacy mode by firefox (turned on automatically in private mode), THAT BLOCKS ALL CORS REQUESTS, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT DO SOME TRACKING. AN API THAT 100% CORS COMPLIANT CAN'T BE USED IN FIREFOXs PRIVATE MODE! HOW IS THE END USER SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT??? AND OF COURSE THE THROWN EXCEPTION JUST SAYS "NETWORK ERROR". HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE USER THAT FIREFOX HAS A FEAUTRE THAT BREAKS THE VERY BASIS OF MY WEBSITE???
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL FIREFOX??????????????????
I actually managed to come up with fix for 1. that works like < 50% of the time -_-5 -
For fuck sake!
Fuck locatefamily.com, just searched out on google my name and surname, both foreign and hard to even spell out for many, and it's the first time that I saw my data(where did I live, my current work phone number, name and surname) open wide as the second link of my search, fuck!
But there's a clue, at that address I lived for a not so long period, so I did search my emails in that period and other than my employers and government emails(in which I don't trust either), here's a list of companies that had my info(partial or full):
Only address(with name and surname):
Amazon.it with 14 other companies(for shipping)
eBay with 4 other companies(for shipping)
voxelfarm.com
trenord.it
DUMA (LIGHT) di Adel
decathlon.com
gruppoargenta.it
paypal.it
All info:
gearbest.com
glistockisti.com
oculus.com
Banggood.com
Overall there are 33(including government, employers and national main mail service) potential leaks of that data, with 7 in full exposure.
After this, I'm thinking how it's even avoidable to not leak personal data, because from any of those businesses I got goods or services that otherwise I couldn't without exposing such informations... fuck.7 -
Rant
I'm tired of this shit!!!
First I receive a task to create a new functionality for the app that I'm working on and some documentation (this is the only good part of all the rant) but no design.
It's been 2 weeks since I got assigned to this and still no design, no assets, no API calls that ACTUALLY WORK.
Today was testing a plist to get a banner link, and for 1 hour that little fucker didn't returned the image I was asking.
Better, I wasn't getting ANY IMAGE. Turns out that the link sends me to a HTML URL that doesn't have any image... go figure!
So I've been working on this from some images inside the PDF with the documentation given.
Oh! Wait! There's more!
The cherry on top is that I'm implementing a chat/voice call/video call into the app and the framework that I will be using is being created now, and it's not even finished!!!!!!4 -
"We have a nice documentation you can use to get this up and running"
>half the bloody variables used in said documentation are never even mentioned how they are defined
Nice. -
Who here actually uses GoLang? I’ve thought about eventually adding it to my tool belt.
But while on the GoLang topic, what is it good for? I’ve heard it’s good for web backend but can it produce software too?question fuck me this is an actual cry for help why are you ignoring this i’m not okay go golang i just want to code i just want happiness who actually reads the tags36 -
guess what i learned today?
i have no creativity whatsoever.
or at least in a design sense.
i bought a website my first website a few weeks ago and the main page looks, well, barfable.
orange on blue? i have no where near enough css experience to pull that off. i ended up trying to make it like a linux distro (zorin os), which is neon blue on black.
i asked for advice on the ux stackechange network, and of course, two people with a low reputation both answered, and of course of course, both their answers contradicted each other.
welp, fuck me.6 -
Fuck me and fuck merges and fuck conflicts!!!
I still love you Git but sometimes you are a harsh mistress.6 -
Am I the only one who encounters these dickhead teachers, who live in a world, where they think that you have just their subject?
I mean that kind of professor, who shows up 30 minutes late to a lecture, sends you source code with no commetary because fuck you with a rusty fork and tells you that we have no time to write the code during the class?
The one who shows you a shitty presentation with the same code he just sent you, just cut into 72 slides and at every slide tells something like this is pretty self explanatory, x just does y and if you ask a question he gives you that deep stare, like if you really mean it seriously to waste his time, since he really really wants to go to his office sooner so he can scratch his balls?
That type of professor who tells you that as a student of CS degree you are required to put some passion to your craft and study when you arrive at home and hes there just to give you guidelines, but apparently somehow forgotten that people usually need to sleep?
That same cunt who doesnt give a shit that you have 4 more projects to finish this week, doesnt push the deadline, nor give you advice, because you had opporturnity to ask the whole time?
But still that motherfucker, who gives you test questions that he took from mouth of Satan himself and then questions your answers like Where did you get that from?
Well fuck yall who do that shit, hope that you suffocate yourself while eating bread.
Why these douches doesnt understand, that even if we arent under the Working Laws, working more than 40 hours a week isnt the best way to keep us sane or motivated.2 -
I was going crazy for not understanding it.
I went to binary to decimal converters.
I tried applying my own messed up logic.
I was about to post a rage rant.
Now i realized how it works.. fml
And yes, i took a picture of my monitor, enjoy eye cancer :)12 -
well fuck me, just spent the whole weekend (about 33 hrs) not being able to solve a task from uni with a java program we had to write🙄😪
the problem was a given set of movies with a weekday, the begin time, the duration, the title, and a "score"
the movies take place in one week (random days, random amount of movies) and every movie can be shown multiple times
our task was to find a sequence of non-overlapping (all unique) movies with a score of at least a given number
all in text form
i tried dynamic programming but the more i tried, the more it got complicated, so i ended up using "earliest finishing time first"
my code is just 3 points under the goal and i don't know what to change anymore😒, also some friends did the exact same and succeeded somehow
copying (and obfuscating) won't work, as the codes will be compared by a very good "copy checker"
let's hope i'll still have a chance for an exam😐2 -
Whyyyyyyy do people go back on their word and stab you in the back just to make themselves look better?
Mate, I’ve got a paper trail of your request, detailing EXACTLY what you asked for. Don’t make me use it against you to prove you’re wrong and I’m right... guess I better start collecting emails to use as self defence 😩😔4 -
I'm living in the twilight zone...
These people upload and download an entire directory of files from microsoft teams as their way of version control...
And what's worse they're dragging their feet on changing over to git/github
God save me1 -
I am pulling my hair out on ducking low level stuff. This is why people (more importantly me!) should have the chance to learn, rather than assume how things work.
Has anyone of you detailed resources on how linking objects into shared libraries really works ? Especially Name Resolution. All those ducking tutorials and bloody blog post just have simple examples and explain shit not in detail!
Even ducking man pages on gcc/ld don’t help me out! Maybe I’m too dumb to type the right words into me search engine. I’d even love to read a bloody paper book.16 -
! related
So there is this girl in my office from different team. We only talked over emails couple of times. I never got courage to go and talk to her in person. Sometimes I found her looking at me (** i guess**), sometimes she catches me looking at her. Smiles gets exchanged and that's it.
Didn't see her for 2-3 days. Checked in portal, turns out she left company. I'm feeling super bad right now. I can't focus on anything since this afternoon. I know this is not the place to share it, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...
Faaaakkkkkkkkk
Faaaccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I could've tried...
My shyness kills me more than anything else in this world.😞17 -
Guess which handsome ass father fucker finally got a dev job? I DID. But it's a startup. Any important questions which I need to ask them before I take up this offer?9
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I have the best of the very best client on Earth.
A kind who would flat out reject with most depression reviews to our best and hardly committed work whenever an payment installment date is near. -
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK YOU GOOGLE, you placed a damn email about an interview in the spam box and I only realized it 2 weeks afterwards. END ME, JUST DO IT NOW3
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Fuck Google Chrome cache.
For almost an hour, sat and tried to make changes to a react UI but unfortunately nothing's changing. Started to worry and doubt myself.
Even thought of getting myself the yellow duck! But fuck no , little did I realise that Chrome "intelligently" fetched my page from cache even though I was using incognito! Had to re-open the browser to realise that.
How did I find out you ask? I thought why not fucking open the same page in Mozilla . Why? Because why not?! But I still can't believe that I wasted a whole fucking hour due to that piece of shit called cache!18 -
Happy birthday to my self. Away from my family and friends, alone in the city alone in the office pushing keys on keyboard to deliver the project.
It's been very difficult year for me, both physically and mentally.
I hope next year will be better than this.
Fuck you 2019.
PS: birthday and end year selfish.12 -
Rant.TYPE_REAL_LIFE
So I go for a run for the first time, well, ever. I put my keychain in my pocket and I'm off with my headphones on. Come back home I FUCKING LOST MY WHOLE KEYCHAIN. Key to my house, my apartment, the garage remote, .. fucking dogshit man. Tried to track it down by going down the same path twice but no luck so now my only hope is the police but what are the odds :/3 -
!dev
So apparently markets that are getting HBO Max are about to lose their ability to stream the full Ghibli catalog anywhere else. And they'll only be offering a handful of the titles from it in the most market-friendly cuts, even though they licensed broad market distribution rights to the whole thing.
Not a strong start, about from I expect from AT&T though. Now people the world over get to see how shitty the murican telephone conglomerates are. 🥳4 -
I’m tired of being put in positions where design gives me a rough mock-up a week (or less) before its launch day. It’s frustrating and I’m tired.
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Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!7 -
I'm writing a multi threaded program right now and just pray for the threads not accessing my var at the same time :) but I cannot use a locking algo because my 1st thread needs to access that var up to 1000 times a second. Pray for it to work as it should 🤔😇9
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TL;DR : I have carelessly deleted my pocket account. arrrrr fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I usually censored my fuck with * but this level of fucked up shit need no censor anymore.... shit fuck fuck fuck
I am using separate profile for my regular ff and ff dev edition. I didn't know both of the browsers are already linked to single pocket account. I thought the pocket account on my dev edition profile was a new one auto created by ff and decided to delete the account. Turn out it was the same freaking account. I even saw the name linnth but I still clicked Delete My Account.
All 5 or so years saved bookmarks are gone. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr1 -
I'm currently pentesting a web app on a Mac Mini with 8 Gigs of RAM and a i5-4620 using OWASP ZAP. Third time the fuzzer got stuck, the RAM's full an the CPU's permanently at 100 %.
Before starting this job, I always said that pentesting on this POS is like bringing a knife to a gunfight.
When I kicked off two fuzzers at once, I started feeling like bringing a cocktail sword to a thermonuclear war.
It's not even 10 here and I already wish for some booze. Damn, I gotta start making moonshine or something.5 -
Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!5
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Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."1
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Machine learning is hard! Spent a whole day with Weka and it's Neural Networks. God my brain. There is too much to know before being really equipped to use this tool... especially from code.6
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So I've just finished a long day at work (warehouse) from 5.45 till 1.30, got home, had some herb tea, started dropping off, then my cunt of a mate sets a firecracker off IN MY TUPPERWARE, CRACKING THE BASTARD, THEN FUCKING THREATENS ME WHEN I TELL HIM TO SIT DOWN BEFORE I BREAK HIS NOSE. I don't know whether to just kill him or beat the shit out of him, but I'm sick of him doing shit like this when I finally manage to drop off to sleep (I don't sleep well).
FUCKING COCK SUCKING CUM STAIN.
I really want to try to beat the shit out of him but at the same time he's my best mate, what should I do, because I'm FUCKING SICK OF IT?!?30 -
Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML4
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During the "how to install WordPress" the professor tells us to use the root user of the database.... Wooooooo yeah! Let's get fucked!
And he never even notes to them "DON'T use root in production!"
I can just imagine every one of the 40 people in attendance that day wondering how their website could POSSIBLY get hacked...
And they are are going to entering the industry, some of them as freelancers from the onset, thinking all that is ok.2 -
not me but… not doing fucking everything in js, no way I'm installing os.jsundefined fuck me fuck js too many frameworks i only write assembly js takeover typescript is a condom2
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I don't know who was the fucking moron who decided how much detail should go in the classic "Segmentation fault (core dumped)" message, but they should be kidnapped and tortured. And no one should tell them why they're getting kidnapped and tortured. Just let the fucker guess.3
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TEAR ME A NEW ONE PLEASE
chatted with a company about a front end position, they replied that they are interested in me and want me to complete a task. The email subject was "about an internship at a *company_name*"
they later quickly sent me another email saying to to ignore the subject about the internship, and sent more details about the task.
I completed the task and sent it to them.
They replied today with an email stating that I'm too weak for an internship and that I should improve myself and reapply in the future.
It's a little bit of a low blow, I thought we were talking about a full-time position yet you are saying that I'm too weak for an internship? WTF
to say I'm pissed is a little bit of an understatement.
Heres the link to the repo I sent them.
https://github.com/Pionell/koral
They'r task was to mark up a sketch file they sent me, there was no mention to make it interactive.They told me this doesn't need to be responsive. I Think I used too many spans, inline-blocks, and a few wrong floats with images instead of divs with background image set as the image. Tear me a new one and tell me all my mistakes, I want to know what's so bad in this.13 -
My paper just got rejected. Again. The first time it was expected. But for this journal, it wasn't supposed to be. Some of the reviewers' comments are stupid. (for eg. I mention a no-loss algorithm fir a game which, so his/her comment is like what's no-loss? , like are you fucking kidding me, if you don't know that, then why are you a reviewer in the first place)
Anyway now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for more journals but all have so high impact factors and I'm not even sure confident to submit again. Had a good mind to mail the editor in chief but well, I don't think it'd help. What do you guys think?
In the middle of another project, another paper, online courses, now this. I'm just done. I didn't go home as well. It's around four o' clock in the morning here, so noone here is awake.
Can anyone hear me?8 -
Today is release day
Today is also the day we add couple of features for the release that will take a week to implement
Life is just won-fuck-erful -
TFW when you do a git reset HEAD --hard because nothing works anymore for unknown reasons, and the moment you press Enter, you realize that you havent committed or pushed any of your work for the last three days or so...7
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I want to get started hard on a cool project but I’m stuck watching Silicon Valley.
Fuck my laziness9 -
In january this year i convinced my whole team to switch from Skype to Stride. And now Stride announced that they are teaming up with Slack... I am going to look like complete idiot because we have to switch once again ... 😥7
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Fuck my internet connection. I really dont get it, sometimes it works fine and I can download small files while using skype without any problem and the other day, without any apparent reason, I always get kicked out of online games, Websites take ages to load and teamspeak audio cuts out. What the fuck, I even closed everything that might take up the smallest amout of bandwidth. It fucking ruins my night to the point where I want to run through my computer setup with an axe.11
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Someone please kill me.
I'm sick of myself.
A few days ago in the prize distribution for a past coding contest, I denied my prize and eventually accepted after fucking around a bit.
Now since two days, I'm straight forward wasting my time. My grades are going down exponentially and I'm involving neither in CUDA (which a started just a while ago) nor I'm getting into studies and even getting in competitive coding.... Fuck me!!!!!! -
You've got to be kidding me, you really think you can waltz in after a 2 months asking me to fix something which supposedly "suddenly" popped up which I guess you didn't notice 2 months ago during project delivery? And then even dare ask WHAT you are being charged for? ESPECIALLY when working on a Sunday? You can die in the gutter.4
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Story time... (Not long though)
My current employment status is quite strange. Basically I'm a freelancer. My former boss asked me to throw a half paid job and include three days worth of work for free just because it would be convenient.
When I told him no way - he was very uppset and offended and told me how disappointed he was.
Lesson learned: If you work for free and offer to "help" someone out, it will mostly lead to more queries for free of charge gigs. Don't do it like I did. Fuck that shit, thanks for appreciating my effort.1 -
UPDATE ON THE SCHOOL NETWORKING SITUATION:
the entire country has entered total self-isolation for 3 weeks, which means no physical school for 3 weeks. I have to suffer at home for 3 weeks.
Fun.
(save me, please. I am beyond help.)7 -
Ok so riddle me this. The service for an application were required to run to send clients insurance through (as per government regulations) was working fine all day working super fast. Rare but awesome. I get a call one hour prior to the office closing (I don't work weekdays) and I am told that all of a sudden insurance isn't sending.
My mind goes right to this fu**ing process. Sure enough it's stopped on the server. Well shit ok. I click start..... Nothing. I kill it from task manager.... Nothing. "SERVICE CAN'T START"
I'm like ok that's fine let's check event logs.... Nothing. No problem let's just run it not in a service container and see if there's an error. NOPE IT DOESNT LET ME.
Okok so that's cool let's just try reinstalling the app. NOPE CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT RESTARTING THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER WHICH BRINGS THE ENTIRE OFFICES MANAGEMENT SYSTEM OFFLINE BECAUSE THIS FUCKING APP NEEDS TO BE ON THE SAME GODDAMN SERVER.rant sysadmin medical why me fuck microsoft windows fuck microsoft server why windows server service2 -
TL;DR: TIL for heavy queries use PDO and not some frameworks DB class
ffs I was trying to save 300k+ lines at once with Laravel for weeks. Mind you from a text file. 1gb ram on the vps so while trying to prepare the text to save: Fatal Error: Allowed Memory Size of bla bla Bytes Exhausted
ok so lets put it in a loop: Fatal error: Maximum execution time of 30 seconds exceeded (set_time_limit(0); lol)
optimising, varying the code got me into a situation when the content got saved in the BD but inconsistent (duplicates) and the table had often more than 1,5M rows. That was what told me its not a performance issue, my code is the issue. (dah)
I was starting to think it would be easier to export a prepared query to a sql file and load the file into the db as thats the fastest possible option...I even started to think about switching to python, then it hit me, Laravel has a shitload of routes to the DB so I switched to PDO
benchmark on 1vCPU, 1GB RAM VPS with SSD
379k lines with 11 columns in less than 10 sec with a loop of saving every ~6000 rows (if i tried choking it to save the whole thing at once it went up to 16-17sec)2 -
Fuck, I knew that my code for my thesis would at some point become bad and very unmaintainable. Workaround here and there, everything put together "to fix later", just to make it all work "for now". I know what my code does where and when but my tech debt has reached a critical point, where a new idea and new procedure cannot be simply be added. Well, time to refactor and modularize as much as possible😪
Wish me luck that the whole project doesn't brake. Oh and of course so many different changes that I don't know what to put in git and in which order to do so.12 -
Funny how fucken emojis, which came into applications (web or even native) by completely overusing them on mobile, don't really work on mobile.1
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I genuinely regret and believed that I just got scammed by recruiter. There's a company wanted me to create a prototype of Social Media App in order to be qualified for the interview , which I completed in weeks, as soon as they got my source code, they went ghosting me.
I woke up in the early morning today, in my WeChat Moment appears to be an advertisement of a "Social Media App" , which the design and the concepts are very familiar.
So technically I just build the an app for their money making scheme, and I am unemployed.
I hate myself for making this decision, I thought the app is for testing my capabilities, but unfortunately that's not it...
我只是棋盤上的棋子...........19 -
So me being illiterate fuck in C++ and shit, I just broke a build of one of the biggest Autodesk's softwares for hundreds of people around the world and didn't realize it until around a day later (now) after feeling weird about those tens of new mails..
Weeeell, apparently 96.0 isn't float, heh:))))
Now everyone has seen my shit code and wants me to rewrite it using some of their classes, hihihi
Feel ashamed af.... sorry guys1 -
I took half an afternoon to realize that the complex problem I was facing could be solved just by changing a variable's name for another one that would do the trick.
GOD. FUCKING. DAMNIT !!! -
Let's begin this year like the last one.
By drinking pretty hard and then only getting 3 hours of sleep.2 -
Context: New to typescript. Writing a thing, doing it for work, good opportunity to stretch my dev legs. Using a propriety lib, alternatives not an option.
Rant begin:
SOOOO, who the fuck thought THIS was a good idea:
1. Lib has minified react in dev (because closed source) meaning no downstream errors AND the entire premise of the lib is that a widget is a react component, so I'm writing typescript react the entire time without downstream errors
2. SHIT docs. By that, I mean there's an API reference page that's so sparse there's literally a set of CRUCIAL interfaces that only say the word 'Interface' on them. That's it. that's what i get. It's an interface. NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK, what the fuck is it though? What's its purpose? Is it an interface for a dog? A dog that has a 'shit' property? or a cat? or a cat eating dog shit? Nobody fucking knows - the docs sure as fuck don't care.
3. No syntax highlighting - editors, IDEs (i've tried a few) can't even find the lib inside this environment, so Code and everything else thinks I'm importing shit that doesn't even exist - so no error prediction, code completion based on syntax of the library, none of that.
4. There are some EXTREMELY basic samples - these samples exclusively use React classes - no function components, no hooks, nada - just classes and even perfect replicas of the sample code display erratic behavior like errors about missing props, so that's mostly FUCKING USELESS
5. And this... this is where the straw breaks the fucking camel's back... there's no... there's no hot reloading... Do you know what that (in conjunction with the previous 4 fuckups) means?
When I write anything or I fuck up (which of course I'm doing every time I write half a line because how the fuck?) I have to restart the client and server EVERY FUCKING TIME and manually test to see if the error (THAT ONLY GETS REPORTED IN THE LOCAL UI) is gone or different.
Then, once I see the error, it isn't an error: it's the minified React error-decoder link and guess what? It isn't really clickable a link OR copyable, meaning that every FUCKING time I get a new error, I have to MANUALLY TYPE A FUCKING 50 CHAR URL TO FIND OUT A GENERIC REACT ERROR MESSAGE WITHOUT A LINE NUMBER OR ANY FUCKING CONTEXT. I HAVE TO DO THIS CONSTANTLY TO SEE IF ANYTHING I'M DOING EVEN WORKS.
6. There's no github to complain to the maintainers or search for issues because it's NOT FUCKING OPEN SOURCE so there is literally nothing to be fucking done about it.
This is due in a week and a half, found out about it last Friday. How's your day going?
PS: good to be back after a long respite from dev ranting.1 -
I'm going through my Udemy courses for the hell of it and see if I might even learn some things, started a course I knew would start of way too basic but Jesus Christ, 7 lectures for doing basic player movement and animation... Strap in boys, it's going to be a long ride
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Ever come back from a small vacation and arrived to see that the rest of the team had butchered your baby and were trying to stitch it back together, but only succeeded in making it worse?
Feels just like that right now. Fucking hell. I gave them a linter, a prettier config file and pre-made shortcuts to run. Still looks like Dr. Frankenstein was drunk while stitching and overvolted the machine, so now the bloody monster is also on fire. This will be a fun week 🙃1 -
Fuck I forgot to make a database export before I executed delete statements on a production database...
All went fine though. Nothing broke.5 -
I tried to sort out a basic Multi layer neural network last night....by hand, just to prove that I was able to do the math by myself and understand that I have the intuition in control rather than just rely on Tensorflow or Pytorch to do shit for me.
I stayed up till 3 in the morning and woke up having nothing but dreams about the endeavor. Shitty part is that i couldn't stop dreaming about partial derivatives and how shit it was that I sucked at them in HS and uni. I get them now, but fuck I just feel that I could have done so much better at uni instead of passing my math classes with 80% to 90% of the grade. I feel as if I was slacking all thanks to being damn near mathematically dyslexic3 -
WHY THE FUCK DOES RUNKIT RETURN A SHORTENED STRING?!?!? I SPENT 3 FUCKING DAYS DEBUGGING BECAUSE 2 VALUES WERENT THE SAME.
AAAAA -
Well I guess yesterday was just a fluke. Today I feel like complete and utter shit. Everything hurts again.
I fucking hate this. I actually WANT to be at school for once. I haven't been there since Wednesday, and I actually hate it. I missed my friends' show this weekend because I could barely get out of bed. I bought a ticket like a week before, I told them I was gonna be there.
Even the girl that I've had a crush on for a while was in the show, and she was so excited when I told her I was gonna see it.
Fucking hell guys, I hate this. Just kill me now1 -
when the git push doesn't work since the first one
(cron job, not able to access and fix the script as i'm not on-site and won't be for a while)3 -
My new passion in life is to spend a whole morning trying to figure out why I can't create a thumbnail with node-imagemagick, only to discover that I forgot an 's' to the output directory.
FUCK. ME.2 -
Fuck forced coding conventions in uni, especially if they are as stupid as Google's Java Conventions. They are a disgrace to nice code but we will have to use them going forward
Stupid spaces everywhere. Else on the same line, wtaf. And don't even get me started on indentation with fucking spaces. Tabs are superior in every single way fite me irl17 -
when your server CPU has a load of 9.01% on a 6 core proc.... and no one knows whats being run on it.
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Don't you just love it when you spend 2 days carefully configuring a stack on AWS CloudFormation and then deploy it, hoping everything goes fine, just to realize you didn't change the region ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TOP BANNER!!!!!... and now you have to delete everything and redeploy it... no? well I love this...I truly do...I'm not mad, not at all...
Do I think this is a retarded interface, you say? YES I do...
Am I mad? PHffff...not AT ALL!!!
What's that? Why is my eye twitching? Because of happiness...I'm so full of joy it's coming out of my eyes...in the form of twitching...and tears... -
All the summers a small local company that offers IT services, mobile and web development hires me to help, as in that time they have a peak of work and is when the employees takes vacations, so, this year my job there is to help with a web they decided to make using django, over it installed other framework and also installed a lot of libraries that some are in beta.
We have limited time and we are wasting it fixing all the fucking broken code, incompatibility between libs and other fucking problems because their lack of vision.
I'm fucking mad as we are not even close finishing the project and the deadline is near. I fear this will mark me for the company to hire me future years.1 -
If all the 24 years of my life have taught me anything, it’s that I am not at all good at time management.
That’s why I am always stressed. And I hate that I just can’t seem to make it better. Short motivational bursts are good, but I need a permanent solution!4 -
FUUUUUUUCK
I just spent an hour debugging a Vuex model due to a fucking error with nested mutability. Wtf... -
Fuck amazon
Bought a 1080p portable monitor
They sent a 768p screen...
What even is that resolution
Just Wtf
And if you put it up on its side like advertised you can't see shit if if you look at an angle
Also the fucking cable doesn't fit right and disconnects if you blow at it
Piece of shit - last time I bought on Amazonundefined amazon fuck fuck amazon 1080p piece of shit 768p wtf fuck you give me my money back piece of crap junk3 -
ffs there needs to be a tool to find that one non-flexible container which keeps your website from being responsive..
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So I spent 2 hours trying to debug my HTML form with data pulled from database. I kept updating the data in the database but the forms weren't changing. Then it finally struck me, Firefox fucking caches form fields on page reload. I use to think this was a convinient feature but now it's just a pain in the ass.1
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The fuck-game:
First I write fuck once, then someone answers that saying fuck twice, followed by either me or someone else saying fuck three times in the same comment.
Person 1
Fuck
Person 2
Fuck fuck
Person 1
Fuck fuck fuck
Person 3
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
The game goes on until someone accidentally types "duck" instead of duck. At that point, the world cries.14 -
this rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1622672/...
made me realise since I was little, I wanted to register
- my_surname.com (its a Hungarian name but there is a french comic strip on the site lol)
- then i wanted to register my_surname.sk since I'm from Slovakia (nope someone has a chain of petrol stations with this name)
- well its awkward but lets do my_surname.eu (my surname is the name of a traditional Hungarian needlework so no fuck you)
- ok, I'm a Hungarian so lets do my_surname.hu (well fuck you i wont even load, but I'm already taken so..)5 -
"Go check out the EAGLE documentation so you know how to properly parse its generated xml files"
(The whole docs just says "sorry, no documentation" every fucking where, not just the part in the picture...)3 -
When you download whole SDK, install lots of dependencies. Setup everything. And the moment you want to start working, your internet stop working. I would consider that a sign from a good but too bad, I am atheist.
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*Creates a random .NET core console application on windows*
Alright, I've created this in Dropbox til I get some traction with it..
*Edits a few things, saves project and syncs files then open's project on mac later that night*
And some more progress, brilliant, save and done..
*Turns on pc next day and see's dropbox taking 80% CPU usage and %20 disk usage*
What the fuck! Ok ctrl alt delete to the rescue!
*Notification pops up saying Dropbox deleted over 20, 000 files*
Well... Aren't we off to a fucking great start .NET Core...
(Yes I know I can get all files back, done and done and can't actually 100% pin it down to .NET Core..) -
From time to time our internet slows down to 10kbit and latency goes over 1000ms or just cuts out completely and everyone starts screaming at me to fix it, what am I?! The fucking ISP's tech. support?!!! When it goes down it goes down, I can't do anything about it, I keep reminding everyone to keep a copy of their stuff on the NAS so they have access to it when this happens, no one ever listens to me! The only person that uses the NAS is me...
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Fuck Drupal. Fuck the work environment I have, and fuck CMS in general.
I have a task that consists into removing any @extend from the different SCSS files so the compiled file is lighter than before (so far it went from 10mb to 750kb). Everything went okay but suddenly PHP decides that the fuckton memory it has isn't enough anymore and wants more. And makes VirtualBox freeze. Which makes Windows 8.1 freeze. It's 11:10 AM when I write these lines and I haven't been able to do SHIT since 9 AM.
The lead developer just told me "you touched some PHP code you shouldn't have approached in the first place". DUDE I haven't written anything in PHP IN TWO WEEKS !
Also, why does fucking Kint exists, when Laravel has dd() and Symfony has var_dump, and they work as fine as Kint, but they don't need 580 Tb of RAM to run and load a fucking page?
Having to work with this fuckery of a CMS is something, but having to work with Windows 8.1 makes me feel like working on some cancer with a computer built before the first World War
Now I finally go back to work, that's cool, I only lost 2h30 of my fucking day doing nothing but restarting VirtualBox and my fucking computer. FUCKING YAY.1 -
TL;DR: I should just stick to Python. I'm not touching front-end stuffs.
I got promoted to moderator of the subreddit of the game I play. Got greeted by a list of task involving tweaking the stylesheet (CSS). I said fine, I screwed around with CSS before I can screw with this again. So now I'm in charge of the whole op. Alone. Yay /s.
The objective is just dark-theme-ing the thing because white hurts (we all know that). So I fired up Firefox, made a test subreddit, cloned the whole stylesheet and sprites and started screwing around with my editor and Inspector Tool. And it hit me: One element refused to render (I don't if that's the correct technical term), and I don't even know why the fuck it didn't render. 15 minutes fuzzing through and it still gave a middle finger. Fine. Fuck you. Full revert, back to original. Then I changed the original sheet one change at a time, reloading after every changes. After changing everything, it suddenly work. What the fuck. Why the fuck. How the fuck. How the bloody fuck. How in the bloody fuck.
(""Fucks" per minute" sure is an effective measure of code quality)2 -
\ /
__ __
/ | | \
/__o| |__o
^
~
Now I know :
Hacker wallpaper , motivational quotes, drinking dark coffee, listening to metal music, wearing black hoodies and other stuff like this ...
WON'T MAKE ME ANYTHING !
I feel like a dummy :/8 -
So i kind of fucked up...
I am currently living out of town and only have my laptop and rpi with me. Wanting to try something new, i decided to challenge myself to only use linux until i get back home, but i also wanted a new distro. (Oh and btw my only internet connection is provided by my phone and tablet, which is used as a hotspot, and because i already used all of my monthly data on the tablet now i only have my phone and an unlimited 128kbps connection which turns into a decent connection only after 11pm)
I downloaded the distro image last night and was planning to install it today, so i shutdown the laptop immediately after the download finished). If only i remembered that i had already wiped the old linux partition containing GRUB.
So now i need to wait until 11 pm so i can download another image on my rpi and flash it to my usb drive. Fuck me...
I guess i'll relax until then.1 -
FUCK YOU MyThemeShop FUCK YOU with your shitty licensing solution. I'm just trying to develop a fucking wordpress site on my own fucking local computer. Why TF will you not allow me to fucking sign into my own account. all it fucking does is infinitely load and it does not do fucking anything. you advertise 24/7 support but it takes your fucking bitch ass support team over 10 hours to reply to my dead fucking simple email. ALSO why the fuck can I not change what domain my theme goes to from the online panel. I'm trying to fucking use ngrok and now i cant because it is by domain and not by site. FUCK YOU AND YOUR LAME ASS FUCKING COMPANY GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING BITCH.7
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The overwhelming annoyance when you figure out that the thing that's been causing your code issues for the past 3 hours....
Is because you did a greater than comparison rather than a great than or equal to...1 -
So we are building and export function for a payment and we have to follow the bank's structure of payment, which is a txt file. (for example from position 10 to 20, you need to have empty characters)
This is what our experienced developer did. I have one week left in this company. -
// I could not post it yesterday coz #devrant
Am I the only person here who really but really started to hate fireworks?
Everyone is shooting, I can't even play because it is so loud outside and do not try to open windows coz you will die from poisoning in seconds...2 -
TFW you put your local changes on a flash drive, drive 35 km away and notice that you forgot the drive. So you go back to get the drive the next day, take it and hightail it back. Then, the next day, you copy your changes over and are about to start developing when...6
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I thought this was gonna be so simple, now I'm going down an infinite rabbit hole of technology and concepts I have no idea what's for and zero clue of what I'm doing.4
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That realization that you have a memory leak that invalidates all of your previous performance testing1
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uPlay is ramming me down the throat harder than what should be legal, I can barely breathe.
I'm trying to install Far Cry 5, I preordered it. But.. download is stuck on fucking 0B. That being 0 bytes.
I tried disabling all firewall/antivirus, clean Windows boot, restart, reinstall launcher, slam the table, like everything.
Why isn't the shit fucking doing its job? Anyone who got ideas for what I could try next?
I'm not gonna send a message to their support, I'd rather have sex with a hedgehog, where I'm the one being penetrated. Fuck me.6 -
Trying to sell my team on switching to a new technology.
Told my boss I'd bust ass to get a feature similar demo ready in 2 months by myself, on my own time, because I fucking HATE the current stack we're battling against every fucking day.
There goes my life for 2 months. Fuck. -
Okay so anyone experienced working with networking or VOIP applications are welcome to try to help me figure out a few questions I have.
1.) How do VOIP applications like Discord and Skype not have to require you to port forward before use?
2.) If I wanted to do stuff with sockets over the internet the user of the application would have to configure a static IP Address. but when Im using Discord, or a multiplayer game, or literally anything that requires connecting to people I dont have to configure a static IP for those applications but I do for mine?!?
3.) Is there any additional information I should learn about whilst trying to make my networking application (File Transferring application) work? or any links/PDF's I should check out?
These are kinda just things I haven't found answers to, and I didn't know where to ask.14 -
The people who run these scheduling meetings need to remember that this building is just one big tinder box ready to go up in smoke. 30+ minutes talking about bull shit that only affects a small percentage of the team. AND we're behind and dealing with a push that happened on a Friday before the guy who wrote the code left for vacation to go to Tennessee to watch the eclipse for some reason.
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I would have needed to smoke enough crack to think that learning a new language was a good idea and then even more to start. As soon as I hit having to learn things I move straight onto black tar heroin.2
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First day at the new building during my Monday hospital IT job. My boss went on about opening portals in time, aliens, all kinds of shit, then I get a call, "hey, we need help carrying a body to the morgue, get up here", turns out i'm lookout and forward-runner (lookout to keep patients away from the room during cart loadup, forward runner for doors)
I hate Mondays...5 -
<rant>
FFS
Windows is the worst garbage ever...
First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..
So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
.
.
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8
I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore
A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas
Btw any fixes? Thank you
</rant>9 -
What fresh hell is this ??????
I lost my earbuds TWICE within 2 weeks !!!!
I swear I had em last night when I put em in pouch , and now I see only 1 earbud.
|-_-|-_-| FUCK MY LIFE |-_-|-_-|
Rent me an earbud or kill me, PLEASE
It saddens me to think I'll not fulfill my endorphins quota today :(
The only enjoyment I have in my life is gymming to heavy bass, the endorphins keep me alive, everything else in life is shit right now : unhappy job, stress from GRE prep, no gf, staying away from family1 -
See I'm a curious case.
Back when I graduated high school my father and I started a startup. We build an Android app revolving around personal safety. It was cool. Had news coverage. It flopped.
In the process off the two months time it took me to build the fucker I had to "Learn" Java and the Android SDK enough to push this app out.
I burned myself out and on top of that I felt like I did not really learn the language. So now years later I want to Learn C# for myself for game Development with unity. However I also want to learn Web Development Properly. Which I have tinkered with on and off since the old days of Xhtml when I built a website for my senior project in HS.
I still feel burned out. Anyone else with a similar feel. I know it's silly being burned after one failed project. But it does not help either that I rushed through learning Java did not retain fuck all and now I feel like I can't learn anything new because mental blockage. Even reading this sounds stupid.
Might also be new shiny object syndrome. Between C# and JS. Lol.6 -
You seriously telling me that I can hand the same fucking html/css whatever to different browsers and they'll render it differently? I have fucking safari and firefox look the same/as expected but fucking chrome looks different.
What the fuck, why can't we have a single standard and have it be followed. I assume some super smart fuckers getting paid mad dosh are responsible for getting this shit done and wrangling all us retards running around flinging shit around doing any sort of web work. Related : https://xkcd.com/927/ but I am no less angry and butthurt. Fuck css. I'm still fucking boggled, why the fuck can I hand over the same fucking input and some special fucking snowflake decides to process it differently I'd like to think they should output the same fucking shit.
Plot twist: maybe chrome's rendering it properly but firefox and safari are both misrendering it the same way?
And I can't wait for QA to get back to me on how it looks on fucking IE and edge when I get sick of this shit and if I ever finish.3 -
Let's start by saying that I fucken know nothing.
Not even how to fucken start this rant.
I have to build a simple game for a university project.
In Java.
Since everyone in my team chose plain swing/awt, and for many other reasons, I jumped on that band wagon.
Knowing myself and that I quit the project last year, I chose an extremely simple type of game with very simple goals and Use-cases.
So far so good.
Logic, layer, and nearly everything else is nearly finished.
Since about 3 month.
Friends helped me restructure my game for better layer separation and I couldn't be happier with how that turned out.
But all those 3 month, my main problem has persisted.
I can't get it to draw a thing on the jframe.
For 3 month.
3 fucken month.
And now I don't even get a jFrame anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK
Git, tell me, what have I changed?
...
Nothing related to construction of the frame?
Ok, I removed a call to repaint there.
Let's putt it back.
NOPE, no JFrame.
What the actual fucken hell?
This is where you can stop reading, after this there will only be me crying about everything.
Sweet tears. 😭
In-between I got a frame, and something was drawn onto it.
But only on construction.
I couldn't get the paint chain to run a single time after that.
I have a nice thread with some loops that is supposed to update the logic and make a call to repaint/ update/ refresh the frame so that the game runs nicely with 60fps.
Logic works fine, but no call to what ever does anything related to painting.
This morning I had the idea that it might be because of the thread.
Refactored that the game loop runs in the main thread and here I now am without a jFrame.
And still 3255 letters to go.
I don't even even even even even..,...rant wtf fuck fucking fuck fuck! java nojframe jframe wth what the fuck pls kill me java swing java awt5 -
It took me 48 hours ( not continuously) to fix a bug by going through a cluster fuck code of multiple modules. Tracing the error through 5 or 6 layers. And u dont get error logs right away. You need to recreate that error and see the logs on a kubernetes pod. Just to find out the bug was a duplicate.
Yes jokes are on me. I fucked up by not checking for duplicate. I steered right away on that shit dipped bug like a hungry/zombie hound. Fuck me. -
"Hey, we're gonna add bootstrap to your project but bootstrap doesn't exist in your project. That's fine? Yeah it's fine."
Like, ffs asp.net core mvc.
https://i.imgur.com/eQVfE5w.png3 -
I just learned about FRP (Factory Reset Protection) yesterday.
Didn't know that was a thing and while it's annoying it's also quite clever.3 -
Sooooo....worked at a place (which i think was my first rant on here lol) a little while back where, to keep a long story short, was treated like shit and still managed to pull out some magic for them before i left my contract (cos work pride).
Come to new company, it is a consultancy company. The project I worked on at the previous company, they had came (while i was there, i went to the meeting) and done some requirements analysis for them (that weren't even relevant, mostly because the CIO was a tard).
Come to find out today, through the grapevine, that these lot have been claiming that they done more than requirements and actually implemented the full solution and even wrote a case study about the shit they weren't involved in. "Oh look at this GDPR project we completed for this £400M turnover company and all the problems we solved".
More hurtful cos this project I done with no help from anyone, got moaned at every day, got my references threatened, wouldn't let me work from home but anyone else could. Serious, a lesser man would have punched the CIO....repeatedly.
What would you do? I'm getting sick of fighting in every job but also getting sick of never getting any credit for the shit I've done. -
don't you just hate, when this happens? translated from Slovak we call this "the system of the falling shit" you know this under "hot potato"
email:
from: marketing coworker
to: senior dev 1
* asks for a lot of stuff, deadline yesterday, high priority, on a site for which the jenkins build is crashing every once in a while, because we are migrating all the time so some folders are already deleted or not created yet and the build config is really strict *
forwarded from: senior dev 1
@senior dev 2
forwarded from: senior dev 2
@senior dev 3
forwarded from: senior dev 3
@junior me
ಠ_ಠ fuck me i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
!dev
I will rather have you shit on my face than show me empathy.
please keep your pity to yourself and hit me, i can take it !!5 -
Why must pixel perfect scaling be so fucking hard... It all works perfectly but I'm limited to a max of 540p for the games camera view but as soon as you drop your resolution bellow 1080p you get stuck with 300p or lower... Ughhhhhhhh
Why did I choose to do pixel art... Wonder if converting everything to vectors would help, wonder is smashing my head into a fucking wall would help... -
It's Wednesday morning and I almost finished my weekly working hours.. but still had to move today's deadline.
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Oh I just gotta love how low quality selenium is. Gotta love the fact that sometimes you need to commit your code 5 times before selenium tests do not fail completely randomly and the whole commit is rollbacked. Like I don't fucking have other shit to do other than wait for these retarded tests to finish just to expect that with 90% probability they are going to fail because selenium is a huge pile of poop when it comes to UI tests. Also testers do not seem to give a single fuck since they just keep writing more of those instead of making old test more stable, fucking awesome.
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I just spent around a fucking week questioning myself, my sanity, my code and a 3rd party api to find out I was submitting bad data to my correct code in a separate part of the product.
Fuck my life and my self inflicted stress and guilt over this. Hopefully edge cases are already covered, I fucking had working code or so i hope until the next bout of debug hell.
Also fuck you spring for not letting me see request body of an outgoing post request. -
I: You know WordPress suck.
He: No it doesn't!
I: So why i wrote Leximo framework to separate me from the WordPress shit?
He: Because you don't know ho to use it.
I: Google: list of WP frameworks
.
.
.
Discussion ended. Nobody knows how to use WP i gues. I feel hated. WP community hates me because u wrote another framework, Nette and Latte community hates me because i use them for shit like WordPress. -
"i encourage you to take these traning. the trend now is to be multi-skilled. be the jack of all trades!"
fuck.3 -
Today wasted around 5 hours installing nginx, apache stills working and keeping listen on 80 port after uninstalling it reboot finally the thing was i dont change the fucking dns of the server and trying to connect to the domain 5 hours later tried to connect to the ip... Fuck my life1
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That lovely moment, when I have to spend an hour on mail delivery issue, only to find out the message was flagged as spam due to a faulty dns blacklist.
Though the way it got flagged is idiotic and funny at the same time, too.
The blacklist domain got parked, dunno why, and of course, all of the dns queries thus got redirected to a different dns server that just returned the A records of the dns park owners.
Guess what that causes when you use that blacklist? Every single email gets flagged, including that one of ours that I had to debug.
Fml, an hour of overtime for a stupid malfunctioning blacklist... -
this weekend has been kind to me. rediscovering python i happily achived the creation of two very useful automation tools for the company. now i am curious if it even will be used given the fact that it runs in the shell without a fancy ui.2
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Google: secure api keys in cordova
Results says I cant or I can but my brain dont understand the method
I'm banging my head against the wall aaaaaarghh3 -
I can’t use paper clips anymore, everywhere I look I see his face.
C is for cool
L is for lots of useful advice
I is for I love u Clippy
P is for passion u passionate boi
P is for more passion u rock my world
Y is for y did the bad windows men take u away3 -
I hope anyone using Internet explorer gets fucking brain cancer and flesh eating bacteria ebola with a fucking immunity to all pain killers. JUST FUCKING DIE IN THE WORST AGONIZING PAIN IMAGINABLErant fuck everything fuck clients fuck this shit fuck ie fuck me fuck my life fuck the fucking fuckers9
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While I was reinstalling winzoz, I formatted my main hdd partition of 700 giga thank you windows for not dividing in section differend disk1
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i do the website for this association and had the urge to overhaul everything, implement decent architecture and security, getting rid of awful php/html mixture. considered everything pretty fly and after going live did some minor adjustments primarily in the admin section. like instead of selecting the last 100 logs, all from the last year.
turned out there were 16 logins to the site within the last year. two board member logins (one person). impressive considering all of the functionality for administering the association it was capable of even before the rework.
so we do need a website, everyone wants to be updated, board administration is annoying but fuck my software?
more visitors than all of my other projects though. -
Why the fuck do I have to follow DB lectures when I fucking know all the stuff already? Fuck you university and your policies about attendance!4