During a software presentation for a group of clients i said:
"I reworked the interface for you. Now it's idiot-proof."

I shall not be limited by the boundaries that they have defined for me! I shall break free from these chains and transcend my internal barriers!
I shall earn my freedom!
-cursor

Boss: You'll need to make the presentation an hour earlier than usual. There'll be 20 people attending..

Me: Sure. Will everyone show up?

Boss: Oh yes, they'll show up.

*Reschedules other work at home*
*Gets 4 hours of sleep to wake up earlier*
*Prepares material*

*Shows up for the meeting 5 minutes earlier*

*Crickets chirp*

There literally wasn't a single person there. Everyone shows up at the normal fucking time and good old boss was 2 fucking hours late.

Guess what the presentation was for? To solve the fucking issue of why stuff never gets done on time and nothing works right. I think I might have a tiny fucking idea why, at this point.

Simpsons

I just gave a 20 minute presentation in front of fifty people, and apparently did well enough that I got five private compliments afterwards, including one from the vice president. 🥳

And all of that without a single drop of rum!

45 minutes into a technical presentation called "Architecture Meets Design", I realized the guy built houses.

- Everything works 10 minutes before presentation
- Nothing works on presentation
- Cry myself in toilet after presentation

Apple just announced a new 6k monitor. The stand for it is NOT included and will cost $1000.

This snapshot of the presentation is meme-worthy.

...People will still buy it.

Teacher: Make a PPT presentation on *blah blah* with no animations or colors and present it next week.

*Next week*
I go and connect my laptop and open my presentation in a PDF file.
Teacher: Wait! You are using pdf. I said ppt.
Me: Yeah, you said no animations and a pdf file is much lighter than a ppt file.
Teacher: you are disqualified!

*facepalm*

just when u have a meeting to rush to, this little shit updates. all my presentation material is on this fuckin thing. FUCK! arghjfbggghhh

Going on a vacation, so notify all clients that I won't be available during two weeks.

Client: well we have this huge presentation and here's a list of stuff we absolutely need for it
Me: sure I have a look.
Me: holy shit dude! That's gona take about 2-3 days. I'm leaving soon!
Client: it's realy critical to have them in a week as it's a very important presentation! Is there any way you can make it work? If we can do anything to help, just name it.
Me: well I'll do my best (planed 1 day for such rhings)
Me: *pulling a 15h day*
Me: here, all done budy! Did a 15h but now it's done, so do that presentation!
Client: oh, nice, but it wasn't that urgent
Me: ...

Next day:
Client ssh in to the server, fucks shit up
Client: well I did a thing and now stage and prod is fucked, can you do anything?
Me: (knowing it will take 30min to fix) well... I try my best. Btw. I'll leave in a few hours and won't take my computer, so try not to fuck every thing again, okay?

Continuing a presentation after a critical bug

presentation is in 30 minutes time! still cant figure it out so you fake it by doing this..

You have a presentation due in next 5 minutes?

Windows:- Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Let's update the PC.

Want to Google io earlier this month and a senior director at Google game a presentation and used a chrome dino for a demo and after I found him on LinkedIn and asked her m where I could buy one and he asked for my address and sent me one for free. Idc what any of you say Google is really cool for doing this.

Client presentation. Analyst is working from home. She stands up for a split second and reveals she is not wearing pants.

Being the only one in school holding a presentation without PowerPoint

I use websites 🙃

what a irony !

manager using MBP 2017 for browsing and presentation.

graphic designer is working on window xp sp2 dual core.

coreldraw

-_-

USB-C (or Type C) origin story:

Manager: okay let's see your presentation
Developer: bring usb-key
* Inserts key *
* Nope *
* Flips key, tries again *
* Nope *
* Flips key, tries again *
* Nope *
Developer: ahhhhhh , NEVER AGAIN!

5 months later
"USB forum publishes new specification"

I'm a programmer and an aspiring cyber security specialist. Yesterday, after I gave a presentation about smart bulb hacking, I heard through a coworker that a cyber security company is interested in talking to me. Yay!

Waiting for a presentation and someone stole the chromecast

Created an alias in BASH

alias fucking=sudo

Just so I can run "fucking apt-get update". Got so used to it I accidentally used it during a presentation. Now the cute interns think I'm awesome while the other devs think I'm an ass.

I can maintain your shitty legacy node 6 code
And the shitty m3 ec2 instance with Ubuntu 16 that it runs on
And another one with postgres 9
But if I have to make a powerpoint presentation, I am jumping ship.
A man has his limits

"No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved." - Mark Gibbs

Hi, am new so i want to say hello!

Like this place and their people so i decide to create an account :D

Sorry for my english. Am on the way to improve it.

Had to give a 15 min presentation on web development. I somehow turned it into me giving a 1 hour lecture on ssl and end to end encryption to a bunch of accounting students 😅

Went to my first Hackathon this weekend.
There was 6 of us, 3 devs (including me) and 3 business guys for the presentation and info gathering

The 3 business guys wouldn't show us any of their work, but we're demanding to see all of ours.
Bothering us every 5 minutes to see 2her4 23 are and what's left

Then 1 of 3 business guys accused one of my devs of deleting half of their PowerPoint presentation. That turned out to be bullshit. Looked in the edit history and the business guy was the one who deleted them.
We brought it up to them all, and they got all defensive.

Then, before they revoked our access to the PowerPoint they removed us from the presentation entirely.

Their final presentation contained an app(APK only) we spent an all nighter on, and pictures of a few of the wireframes we did.

I immediately went to an event organizer, filled a complaint. Showed the wireframe project, the source code of the APK they used, and told her they just dropped us and stole our work. She went to them, they couldn't prove they did the work

They are now banned from future hackathons at this place.

I do not appreciate being fucked with, and more so don't like it when you try to fuck my friends. Honestly want to send an email to the business guys workplace and inform them their two top employees are thief's.

The positive thing I took from this is me and my dev team built a stronger relationship and found out we work amazing together.

/Rant about trash humans

All love to Android community.

I made a parental control app where parent can control child phone using SMS. Also I published research paper on it and gonna do presentation on March 23.

The presentation with @wiardvanrij was awesome! Didn't have much time to talk but we did socialize a little and I got myself a devRant shirt, mousemat, ducky and some stickers from a box of devRant merch 😊

Today was great!

So, this guy at our presentation pronounced a <website>.org as orgy, all hell broke loose! 😂😂

To the person who architected a system where business logic is encoded to XML within CDATA sections within other XML data inside a 10000 line file that also describes the presentation of this same data:

I hope you meet a violent death. Your suffering should be equal to what developers who had to deal with your perverted shit experienced.

Motherfucker.

Mgr: Do a talk about that library you're using.

Me: Sure but I'm just learning about it now maybe when I have a better understanding of it.

One week later.

Mgr: I booked a department wide mandatory lunch and learn this Friday for your presentation.

Hey guys :(
The rant will be long.

Today was one of the worst day ever.
I'm feeling so shitty right now.

I'm 19 and I started my apprenticeship about a half year ago on a very small company.
From day one I had many things to do, every day is hard and a new experience. But I'm learning a lot.

Two months ago I had my very first presentation for a client. I was really excited and nervous but everything was fine and the client as well as my boss were proud of me.

Today I should present again a prototype for the same client. But this time not directly personal, instead we did it via TeamViewer. After the client finally found out, how to open and start this shit, the disaster tooked its course.
After explaining him the conzept, I wanted to show him in the software. For some reason it suddenly stopped working. I've just made a change recently which leads in all appeareances to an error .
Because of that error I couldn't proceed, so I have to explain and show him the data I created before I made the changes.
With that everything Just worked fine, I could explain and visualize everything. It didn't Matter and didn't changed anything, only the Name was a Name from me.
The client was very relaxed about this error. He said that it is a prototype , it is not serious.
Furthermore I showed and demonstrated him everything.
But my boss wasn't very surprised and Happy about me. He made me responsable for the error, I should have prepared everything better and this all was Shit.
This made me really,really sad. It sounded so hard.
I know that I've made a mistake, but it's human. I'm only 19. I'm not perfect. Sure, I could have prevented it, if I had tested all possibilites right after I had made the changes again. I prepared the whole presentation on the weekend, on my personal freetime. I spent so often so much time in my freetime just for my job, for my apprenticeship. To get what? A fat bite, a kick in the ass. I'm doing so much, but this is not acknowledged. But when I make something wrong - then I'm the shittiest person.

Damn. Don't know how to handle this situation. This has gone to far today.
Yeah, I could have tested More, but I only tested the existing Data. I prepared the presentation very Well. This is so sad.

Sex is cool and all but have you ever fixed a bug one minute before your presentation?

I think I fucked up. I really do. In my presentation , my browser was left on the search page of "How to detach a head " which supposedly I want to search "How to detach a head in git" but I was in a rush forgot to include git in the search. And after the presentation, I day dreaming and subconsciously staring at one of the coworker, he begin to tell me to calm down as he leave the meeting room.

I think my action will get me arrested man.

My program before presentation: *runs perfectly without bugs*

My program during presentation:

Fun with headers (from OWASP.org node.js security presentation)

Last week I had a presentation of a project (webapp) for a customer.

She: "Can I do {insert feature here}?
Me: "Is that a question or a feature request?"

I keep adding this slide to each presentation for school or whatever.

Just nobody got it yet...

During mockup presentation where everything is perfectly vertically aligned:

Dev: "How should the surrounding content behave if the article is longer?"

Designer: "That won't happen."

When you have to do some live coding in front of highly technical people during a presentation, and the coding Gods decide to take away all your typing skills.

When people request you change your badass dark IDE theme to a white/light one during a presentation.

My code just broke during a presentation and I wasn't there to fix it. My CS professor got embarrassed in front of a bunch of future students.

I had made a last-minute change right before going on vacation... Never doing that again!

⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
⬜️Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive

Started new job with presentation at 10:00. Went for lunch at 11:00. Was given access to source code at 12:00. Decided to quit at 13:00.

No regrets. Code was so bad that I wanted to cry.

That moment when you are at the hospital and your wife just gave birth. Boss is calling:
-Hi! congratulations on a baby!
-Thanks.
-I need something quick from you...
*connects me to live presentation with a client*

I said "Hi everyone!" and ended the call...
Didn't pick up since..

An intern fell asleep during a tech presentation. My boss confronted him and said that it. Wasnt mandatory so if he didn't want to be there he could to upstairs. After the presentation and talked to him and said it was rude and she didn't want to see it again, but no official warming and his school didn't have to know. He was offended by that and jumped on the first bus.

He wasn't allowed to comeback (because he quit by leaving) and he had to redo that year.

Still laughing about that.

Make sure that when developing software and using print outs to test output to not use swear words.

Last presentation when demoing to a customer I ended up on a white page saying: "Shit fuck!!!!!!" Embarrassment was an understatement... 😅

Huge dev-team presentation today with YouTube livestream link available to all clients.

Management wanted us to test our laptops, connections and cables to the bone, so that every computer will work 100% while the stream is running.

You know what didn't work?
The goddamn streaming camera device.

I was just restarting my laptop to present a presentation in the class...
And windows started updating automatically...
And I was like wait wait wait wait...
And teacher said,"what up with that".

Meanwhile at a presentation.

Me: This is the new feature that I've been working on.

App: "There was an error loading the application!"

Me: (shrieks in horror!)

Just about to start a milestone presentation, when suddenly the boss froze and yelled:

"Wait! Don't move! There is a bug, let me take it back to nature where it belongs..."

*Grabs a bug on my shoulder and carries it to the window*

Just spent writing code for 5 hours for my clg presentation!!

Never have I learnt more in one night about what I like!!!

Good night. Devs....

So my boss is staring a new security oriented product and he asked one of my colleagues to prepare a presentation about the possible attacks on the product.

During the presentation there was a section on DoS attacks. The boss didn't know what DoS was and after a brief explanation, he interrupted the presentation and said DDoS is not a threat because there is no data stolen. This is a webapp.

Python makes the Product. But,
PowerPoint makes the money $$$.

Hello * ! I'm browsing devrant since few months and finally subscribe.
As a GNU/Linux user and Free software supporter I really appreciate to not be forced to be logged to use this app. And the community is great ! Thanks to the developers and the community for this awesome app !

Every time some assholes decide to mix part of the business logic inside the presentation layer.

<body>
<?php
// Let's query the db here...
?>

<body>
<%
/* Hey, I'm a JSP! Why not defining some custom logic here, so nobody will able to debug it? */
%>

In 7 hours I have a meeting with the big Boss CEO our company the head of heads.... I have to present the development plan to save the company (about 9000 employees).... I can't sleep cause I hate to present in general.... I fuc%$# can't get a clear mind.... I'm dieing inside >..< and I really need to sleep
wish me luck

Am I the only one whose classmates are listing "Google pictures"/"Google Bilder" as source after a presentation although they got told that isn't a source like a thousand times?

My professor asked my to write a method that recursively reversed() a linked list. Wrote an iterative version with the same name and called it in the recursive method. How I felt after she wrote 100 for my presentation...

My favorite excuse overheard for running Windows over Linux: "I like my sh*t to work."

Then... as if it was planned, his presentation PC running Windows force rebooted to install patches.

After a month of testing and maintenance then on the day of presentation the program crashes!

Manager calls a 2 hrs meeting to bring up any issues that are efffecting the employees. (so everyone prepares with all of there problem writen).
The manager then gives a 2 hr presentation and doesn't give a fuck about what the employees have issues with.

Here I am sitting outside presentation room right before me last presentation of this semester, I've got a bad feeling that I might fuck this up. Wish me luck guys and gals.

Found out other team's project result about performance for uni assignment. It's that Matlab is the fastest, followed by python and C++ is the slowest.

They are gonna get roasted during presentation (by many people in the audience including me).
This is gonna be fun.
/*devilish grin*/

IT is currently putting on a giant presentation at the corporate offices telling them that our development team builds all of our apps using MS PowerApps and that all of our internal development is done using no code tools…what fucking planet did they visit to come to that conclusion??

!rant

I used a devRant-themed presentation I had to give about myself to get my job. This was one of the slides

3 Days Group Project.

1. day (get into matter, collect ideas)

2. day (mate was sick and stayed home, I programmed our Java game from scratch 100%)

3. day (he comes again, gets my source code, changes games wallpaper and sets tick speed to 60 instead of 30.
He deletes my version on all presentation PCs because he thought his was "better")

Titled my presentation "High Availability Setup", after a moment of thought, I changed it to "High Availability Architecture".

There, I will sound a bit more intelligent when I read it out loud on Monday. 😎😂

I sometimes think that my presentations aren't good enough and then I remember the Nintendo presentation from E3 in 2003.

One year ago I did the Week 242 Group Rant:
Dev goals for 2021?
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
⬜️Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive

Now its 2022 lets se how far we got.
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
✅Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive

What I did instead:
✅Worked on my indie Game
✅Went on vacation
✅Make my wife pregnant.
✅Construct, Paint, Decorate house.
✅Hold presentation about profilers

Future Goals:
⬜️Take care of my new born daughter soon.
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Learn to play Piano
⬜️Socialize a bit more

I was told to present an app that was hardly finished and that the company really needed the sale. So I worked through the weekend and basically slept in the office getting this project working perfectly. Monday I am there in my suite and tie ready to sell it, only to be told that 'Monday is the internal presentation' so feeling like a boob I present it to my colleagues. The when Tuesday comes, I do the presentation only to find out the client bought the app months ago. Man I was cross.

Then, the CEO gave me a high five

Wish me luck! Project Presentation today

Today our team got the best grade in our Windows OS presentation in English.
I have talked about the security aspect and got an A.
The other two comrades got an A and an A-.
My English teacher told me that I was perfect. That made me so fucking proud. Oh god.
I don't even know why I'm writing this lol

Spent 2 days of hackathon creating keynote presentation and wrote 0 lines of code. Our "app" was only html and css. We won and I felt sorry for some guys because they had some great apps and still lost to keynote.

I make a presentation to explain to the boss why we had to tweak around the requirements in order to keep backwards compatibility and stuff. I take 15 minutes explaining how our system currently works and how these requirements would change it, etc etc.

"So... is this workflow okay for our customers?"

They stared into the presentation slide for a good minute.

"I think we should align this row over here with that square over there."

"Oh don't worry this is a demo. But do you think our customers will still be okay with these changes?"

"Yeah, but these two elements are unalligned and they look pretty bad."

I'm starting to think that fancy speech can deter people from questioning or complaining to you. I'm pretty sure they don't know their own product as well as I know it.

Cousin: So what are you learning at school?
Me: Programming, PC Networks, Hardware and so on.
Cousin: Oh really? I just have to make presentation to school. I will send it to your account thanks I appreciate it... 🤔

Me: *presenting a demo of tool in office presentation*
Meanwhile an audience is browsing Facebook on his phone...
Me: *Finish demo*
*Said member of audience calmly places his phone on the table.*
Douche: "So can you go over that once more?"
Me: ...

that moment when you finish your project literally a minute before deadline, just before entering the presentation room

This happened a few weeks ago at school.

The previous semester we had to work in a group to make a basic Android application. After handing it in to the teacher, we had to present it in front off the class.

During this project, one of the groups was having some problems with a member, mainly because of misunderstandings and miscommunication. He definitely has technical skills, but he really needs to work on his focus and communicational skills.
The member was removed from the group and had to do it on his own. He had 2 days to make the app, which we initially got 2 weeks for.

Skip forward to presentation day.
Every group presented their app and got feedback from the teacher and the rest of the students.

Lastly, the guy that was on his own was giving his presentation. He started his powerpoint and explained what happened during the project and what went wrong. Then he said: "This is a black page in my school career, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong". Immediately after saying this, he proceeds to go to the next slide: His laptop crashed, Blue Screen Of Death.

This was one of the most painful moments I've ever witnessed during a presentation.
I couldn't believe the timing of Windows to fuck up.

If you're doing a talk or presentation and pause for the audience to answer, which you ignore anyway, I hope you slide off the stage and break your neck

a girl from my class made a presentation and it was really good, and now i'm thinking "how did she do it? what came to her mind that she could prepare such a good presentation?"
and also, "i know that no matter how much i try, my presentations will not be that good, because those are MY presentations"...

Make a one-slide, two minutes max presentation to “sell” DevOps to upper management 🤦🏻‍♂️

I hate libre office and every other office suite on linux.

There, I said it.

It is the cancer of linux. I had a presentation today ant it just kept crashing. It changed all my master slides.

It drives me SOOOOO crazy.
(PS. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO EMBED FONTS INTO A PPTX. I MEAN COMEON!

So, giving a talk soon and marketing wanted to see the slides.

Comments come back. On every slide that is purely visual they've suggested I add a title and a para or two of text.

Fuck you and your fucking slideuments. If you want them to read the material send them a memo and save me the fucking trip.

Or even better, turn up yourselves and read lists of bulletpoints off the screen for 30 mins while I sit in hotel hot-tub with a cocktail.

I hate the inanity of corporate life.

Next time I'm going to send you a blank slide and live draw my diagrams. See how you like that, arseholes.

Preparing my presentation about privacy and mass surveillance with some coffee. :)

Just about to make a presentation for a group of highly experienced devs... i got my masters degree 8 months ago, so im a rookie in comparison... wish me luck!

The irony when you move your presentation on data safety onto a drive that is likely to fail soon.

What is the fucking purpose of a tech talk, if you're just going to read straight from your laptop what you've put on a presentation you god damn fucking dryshite trumpet.

Handed off a Markdown presentation to the marketing dept to add some pizzaz too---just to see what happens.

My bet is that they'll redo it all in PowerPoint. Or fire me. Latter is the lessor of two evils.

I know I added a rant to wk65 already, but this is another one.

At my final project at school, I made an app that registered all your medicine, surgeries, appointments and medicine alarms, so it worked as a medical history. It also was able to show on the lock screen, in case of emergency, your allergies and recent but dangerous surgeries.

At the presentation day there were 3 guys, me and two of my colleagues. The first one had a car dealership tracker, really awesome app, which I helped build by teaching him everything I knew about Android, I didn't do any code, I really just taught him. The second guy, he made a pharmacy tracker, to which, again, I helped make without doing MOST code (I helped on obtaining GPS data). First presentation was awesome, second presentation was really boring because the guy was constantly showing the judges that the app could detect when you were offline (really simple to do).

At my presentation, I thought it was horrible, super nervous and I even thought I was trembling.

So, then, the judges spoke, apparently they knew I helped the previous two, they thought I had the best app, they thought I had the best presentation and needless to say, I got 20/20 on the project. One of the judges even said that if I was selling the app, he'd buy it.

The second colleague didn't like that, and I later found out he was focusing so much on that offline stuff because he wanted to show he was better than me, shows that I really need to see who I really should help...

I felt really really badass after that day, because I left the school, and to this day, I had the best app/project and grades that school had seen and given. Even more when the school offered me a scholarship!

When you're asked to create a PowerPoint presentation or edit a video because you're the "you know technology".

UGH.

Jesus. Got elected by the product owner last minute to give a presentation to a bunch of stakeholders. What the fuck is the point of your job if all you do is delegate your responsibilites to other people.

So I walk up to my desk, join the zoom meeting for daily stand ups, and then join the other meeting scheduled by the CEO. And I watched a presentation built around how I'll be fired in the next few minutes. My colleagues and I got laid off in the snap of a finger.
Sad much

When you try to clap in a presentation while holding coffee and spill it all over yourself.

I did a presentation on a tool I wrote to around 60 people (not a lot for some I know) , but most importantly all the feedback has been positive so I'm pretty happy.

Me and my friends are having a all nighter coding sesh, because the presention day was near, then my friend's mom ordered some pizza. We had set a rule where, everytime someone finish a functionality/module, that someone can get one pizza. I can totally say it was a productive night, and the presentation went unexpectedly well.

Facepalm moment - When the boss tasked me with a backend rewrite (or writing a backend in the first place really...) but only looked disappointedly at frontend stuff during the presentation.

"But this looks just like before?"

One of my biggest tech related peeves, someone shows a video as part of their presentation but doesn't use full screen or even worse leaves the cursor over the video.

Finally found my topic for the 10 min presentation :
Network protocol security

After giving an overview , i'm gonna talk about http , ftp , telnet , netbios and showing them a sample packet and how easy the username and password can be found if these protocols are used.

Any other recommandation?

I have a presentation which takes 10 min and must be about anything relative to computer .
Since the other students are very stupid , I might not choose a very advanced topic ( after thinking about encryption i realized this)
So i need help!

What is your recommandation for the subject?

Fuck

I have my first ever PRESENTATION ever tomorrow

And there will be at least 40 people shit.......

I have to explain the program logic in a very easy way, which is a pain for me.

Any cheers for me?

Oh fuck
The professor I am currently working under is fucking highly respectable and I fucking didn't know and kept fucking around.

I've to give a presentation today and nothing is ready. I'm fucking scared help me

Atleast make it random but cycling through ? Really ?? In it's presentation google assistant was presented as this amazing new Ai that used the latest and best machine learning algorithms and methods on the market. Don't get me wrong it's awesome it can predict patterns in my daily life and interactions but thats what machine learning does, we still didn't come very far with human-software interaction technologies have we ?

"Millions of slaves"
"When you kill it, you kill everything."

-- Guy at work doing presentation about docker

I love opening emails in the morning and seeing “hey in 5h we will have a presentation about our project can you add 2 more features before that?”

Client came to visit ,
The team had to give a presentation on our achievements...
I was asked to create the presentation...
Represented our achievements using memes and the client loved it 😬😬

Had network and computer security presentation just now, they had windows xp... :D

Office prank of the day, bunch of arrogant computer scientists that I have to work with was supposed give a presentation about their algorithm; since I despise them I changed their entire printed materials (diagrams and so on) to comic sans. Our boss is an obsessive designer. Watching him cringe was the happiest I have been in weeks.

Worst hackathon experience? Going to one where you must only use app inventor 2 and my team didnt know jackshit, no understanding and rest or anything else, then in the end another team did something similar to us, so during presentation they thought we somehow copied them, we lost terribly, never again.

It's 11 pm / 23:00 Uhr. I knew that i need to give a presentation tomorrow since like a month.

But guess who started working on this presentation a few hours ago and is not nearly at the end ( well my nerves are)

YOU GUESSED IT: ME🤡

OH AND MAYBE I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING EVEN THOUGH I WANT SOME SLEEP

I AM FUCKING NERVOUS

IN 30 MINUTES I HAVE TO FUCKING PRESENTATION FOR MY DEGREE

AAAAAAAAAH

!rant

Thank you devrant community

it's because of you that I passed my graduation project presentation
Everything I read on here teaches me something new

Thank you so much

Have to present a school project I've been working in for three weeks with my team.

My part of the presentation is done, my part of the project is done.
The fucking sysadmin doesn't have his fucking part ready...

ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS SET UP A FUCKING WEBSERVER, IMPORT A DATABASE, EDIT THE HOST FILE AND WRITE A SMALL 2 PAGE DOCUMENT ON THE INFRASTRUCTURE.

Each of the 4 "roles" within the project need to present their own part, guess whose part of the presentation isn't there...

I am so fucking done with this guy and 2 others in the team...

I just don't get how you can spend 1000's of € per year on uni and then not take it seriously.

On monday I had to present my 3D graphics assignment to a teacher at uni. I was very nervous at the beginning, but the presentation turned out very well. They liked my project so much that they told me that I could help with one of their research projects, and they even offered me a teacher/demonstrator position. Is this reality or am I dreaming?

About to give my first presentation on web development! Wish me luck, I've never felt more out of my league, even though I've been a dev for years.

After finishing the last presentation for this degree, first thing I'm doing is getting rid of my mustache. 😐 👸

Hope you all are fine. ♥️

Next week I will hold a presentation for global sales manager(s?) and third party CEO. That will be fine. 😬

What the fuck is clients' problem? This woman comes to me after one of the last bids I saved and spent on her stupid task! She asked me to come on skype and I said I didn't have the ID and maybe we can go ahead with a phone call or whatsapp call or even Google hangout! She stopped responding to my messages when I had sent her 3 options! It's not like I was willing to back out but hey, I DON'T FUCKING USE SKYPE ANYMORE! What a waste of my precious last but one bid!

Me during a presentation of a website for university project. It's a simple project for our university where there is internships offer for our field, stack : php, js, css (bootstrap), and the presentation was on my computer, so on localhost.
In that projet i have implemented a back office to manage all the offers, basic CRUD functionality, and as lazy as I am, for delete confirmation i used a simple javascript alert for that.
Me during the presentation :"so here is the back-office to manage users and internships offer, and for deleting one offer you just have to click on this trash icon *click*".
Ze professor : "hold on hold on, why it's showing 'localhost' "
Me : "it's javascript alert"
Prof : "but why 'localhost' "
Me : "oh, because i'm running the website on my computer as a server"
Prof : "but why localhost, it's not professional"
Me : *god please "it's javascript alert rendered by the browser, we can't do anything about it, and for a simple application it's sufficient"
Prof : "but why it's bigger than the message, and if we host that, do we steal have that localhost"
Me to end that : "I'm sorry i made a mistake on that".
Fortunately i had a good mark on that project.
It's my first story here, and sorry for ze bad English ^^

Do not fix bugs during presentation no matter how small!

Had to do a presentation about our fov sports... Lel

Me and 2 others are new at a company. We got an introduction presentation about the company and it's structure.

When he got to a department where one of us would work, he would have a picture of us in the presentation.

Mine was just a smiley face, because he couldnt find any pictures.

I was so proud of myself.

Last semester at university we worked on a Java project and couldn't get our netbeans project to work.

We spent hours on hours to finally find out my fellow student mixed up java.lang with lava.

We added a slide in our presentation for that issue to hide the pain.

When you have 30 min. until your final presentation, 2 persistent errors you haven't been able to iron out for hours....... and everyone else in your class shows up asking you for help with their output..... RAWR!!!

Pulled an all nighter for a project, the next thing i know i am demonstrating my code with the error message i forgot to change which was houston we got a problem, i felt so weird and i was laughing very hard after the project presentation

Just did a 30min presentation with my team about machine learning and face/pose analysis. Everything went perfectly well. Couldn't be better. Such a good feeling! FeelsGoodMan. Time to go to the cantina :)

Worst Hackathon Experience ever!
Had been to SAP for a hackathon last year. Built a complete solution for our challenge. Due to no sleep and 48 hours of non stop coding, my team mate who was supposed to present our solution screwed it up in the last minute. Now we blame ourselves for losing because of our bad presentation.

One inappropriate experience I can think of is during an internship at a multinational company that made networking and electrical components. My mandate was to do an analysis on the electrical performance of the company's products versus the competitors. It took me something close four months to measure, to compile data, do an analysis and create a report.

Then came the time to show the results to the engineering director. Let's say the news were not good, so I figured people should have their hears opened. Anyways, my supervisor and I made a presentation to abstract the main points so the information was not too difficult to process.

10 minutes into the presentation, the director of engineering just fell asleep and was snoring quite loudly. I asked my supervisor "should we wake him up?" and so we did. When he woke up, he asked us to wrap it up and pretty much gave no fucks about the results or the presentation. Nobody really cared about the results after that. Talk about wasted time lol.

Luckily I don't work at this shithole of a company today.

that awkward moment when you turn on your computer to give a presentation and windows starts updating.

I ended today a meeting.

Was annoyed.

Did it bastard administrator of hell style.

I shut down the necessary staging machine for presentation after disabling the network service.

Of course the machine died unexpectedly and sadly we had to postpone this important meeting.

In reality this meeting was as important as hay rolling down a street.

I hate everything at the moment.

Deadline for my paper is tomorrow. Still missing 1/3rd. Also haven't created the presentation for it yet.
#NotOnlyDiamondsAreCraftedUnderHugePressure

Have 3 deadlines and one presentation tomorrow but spent whole day in FIFA #swag.

Used to create a web app that is practical and usable in a hackathon. Lost badly due to bad presentation, while the winners only created gimmick stuff, good for the eye, unusable but they had better presentation. Grrrr!

I had to give a presentation to my industrial design lecturer and he complimented me (me, the computer science student doing an elective) on the visuals of my presentation 😄

I'm giving a presentation on different text editors on Friday to the class I'm helping teach. I'm excited it's the beginning of the year and they're new our world and I get to show them and review 5 editors.

If you're curious the the 5 editors are
Notepad++
Sublime Text 3
VS Code
Atom
Brackets

No IDE they have no need for an IDE yet.

Last week I had to make a presentation with two others before finishing school, to test our "competence while working with other people".

My old MS Office license expired, so I thought I could make a presentation with HTML.

Me and the two others met so we could discuss what each of us did for the presentation so far.
"Dude why are you opening your browser and not PowerPoint"
"You'll see"

I showed them the presentation and then the file behind it so we could edit the content.
"Dude wtf is this"

They ended up just sitting at their phones and I did all the work, one week later we had to present "our" work to the teachers.
"So, who worked exactly on what?" the teachers asked, and while the two others were struggling to tell them what they did, I gave the teachers a small glimpse at the file.

I ended getting the best grade and saving my graduation, while one of the others has to go to school again. :D

Graphic & Web Designer
(job offer)

- graphical proposals for:
-web pages,
- banners,
- presentation materials,
- gaming graphic,
- application (iOS, Android) graphic...
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Valid certification and lvl of proficiency in (Adobe Photoshop, I lnDesign, Illustrator)...

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Salary 3,50€ brutto / hr 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣....

Jobs in Slovakia 🤣

Have to so a presentation tomorrow about a non dev topic.
While googling stuff I randomly find that cool amazing lib or new tool. Watching a video about it and end up codeing a hello world with it because it's so cool !
3h later: oh wait what was that tab about I opened 3h ago. Fuck.

Anyone else knows ?

Woke up, worked out, went back to bed. (?? Yeah I'm surprised too) Slept for an hour, woke up again, worked tirelessly and finished the slides. (Not as easy as you think. Had to drag out and undust a few jupyter notebooks again, plus realized that the stupid past me has deleted a bunch of notebooks because of lack of space, and I had to remake one again.)

Now I have to figure out why google slides doesn't like to play my videos, and write my script (don't give me the "don't practice too much" bullshit or "don't need a script". That's for losers. You gotta practice enough that you can cite your presentation even if you got a concussion in the middle of the presentation. Plus, you can modify content in the middle of presentation based on the crowd vibe but you can't do that without knowing your script by heart, can you?) Aaaaaand what was I saying... I forgot... Geez ... Well, wish me luck. This week is gonna be tough. And next week. And probably the week after. Ew.

I was working on a project for a presentation and had a really bad cold. I was building something in JavaScript and the framework was all new to me. No one else wanted to touch it so I said i would have a go.

Basically I put everything I could into it and the director walked in and started using it, ignoring me who wrote it, talking straight to my boss about loads of changes.

I sat there and quietly and thought whatever I did they would change it again as they don’t know what they want.

I felt crap the next day because of the cold and the previous days experience, so I called in sick. I got a load of abuse about the deadline for the presentation and this time I gave it back and said maybe someone else should have stood up and taken that project then. I wasn’t taking anymore of that crap.

When you make a goofy username but then your computer sleeps during a presentation with investors and you need to log back on.

"Cheesy McChunkerson"
**********

Whoo!

Gave a talk at another local dev meetup yesterday; my 2nd talk so far. Was surprised at the generally positive reception.

The presentation was on a piece of software I used recently. Initially wasn't sure about how to predict the reception as I wasn't sure what to focus on. So just thought I'd give an intro, on it and highlight some of the features I liked about it.

These slides are going to be available to you after the presentation...

Yeah... right ..... fuck you

I will do it on Sunday night. I said. It's 2:35AM. No power and presentation is in a few hours. Perfect. Just perfect!

So there was this regional hackathon in which the company I work for is a major sponsor. It happened that the company had an empty slot at the talk panel and until yesterday there was no one to pick it up. I ended up taking it on with a couple of coworkers. The talk just finished and I have never felt so ashamed. The talk was cringe-worthy to the point I felt the shivering skin of the audience. Man... never taking a bullet for anyone ever again!

So I have to give a technical presentation in front of 50+ people in 6 days. I'm just about shitting my pants right now. And thinking what to talk about.

Any ideas? Mine are:
1. Arduino and Raspberry Pi--the future of automation.
2. Privacy and how personal information is now another way of profit.

48 hours hackathon, Before 20 min everything working good and fine. Finishing touch and everything breaks. Finally, fixed 5 min prior to presentation start. Panicked to toes, were asked to present first. Result: Runners up. Hell yeah.

On a conference call for this university-affiliated web app:

Random supervisor: “I think the demo presentation needs some more jazz!”

Another supervisor: “Maybe we can do a virtual reality demo of the site, then!”

What. The. Fuck.

So we have this project that we are hosting on our testing server for presentation purposes ( already provisioning prod server ).

Our boss was presenting it to investors and my superior committed a bug there and was asking me help to figure out how to fix it (yeah.. he doesn't know how to checkout last commits in git... fml), and I realised the presentation might still be going on... so I asked: isn't boss showing it to investors?

superior: lol, idk maybe.

me: right... ( I proceed to roll back changes ) bye, have a good lunch.

And here I am having lunch considering my life choices.

had to cancel my presentation to a client today

apple is taking their sweet time to review my app.. im on week 2 right now...

No new computer for me yet this week...

When you created a fresh, modern PowerPoint template for your client and then he removes every single icon, image and shape and fills it with 20 lines of stupid boring text no one's gonna read.

It's a Monday....
Live demo of an iOS Application I've been working on. Piloting next week.

My presentation looks unappealing (LaTex magic) and apparently due to Adobe stuff, videos on overleaf don't play.

So, I have the choice of moving to another format (google slides of M$ powerpoint) by tomorrow, or switch between the media player and the presentation slides.

Both look... More unappealing than my presentation. 😒🙄😤

all those muggles making presentations in power point pff - at least use libre office...

But I use a web page as presentation 😎

One project deadline coming up, one presentation to be given next week, and 3 exams on consecutive days.
Scared as fuck. 😭
I hope I pass.
Wish me luck!

Presentation at a conference, and the framework your featuring puts out breaking changes the day before.

I hate getting SICK (everyone hates it)...
Specially, when I need to prepare for presentation for a talk.

I was sent to sit-down with client in a meeting.

They basically discussed their findings.

(By "discussed" meaning just reading the contents of their presentation.)

In the end of the meeting. They said they'll email the presentation.

Another classic "I survived another meeting that could've been just an email"

tomorrow i have a presentation of a webapp but last night i decided to change the ui. i am not done yet and this frontend is driving me nuts.

Two things actually bad I do :
* Put some printing lines everywhere to debug, and then, debug.

* A syntax than can be pretty bad if not handled properly :

if (your test)
do_something();

I actually always put a tabulation to see the hierarchy and break lines, which is not optimized AT ALL but help me to read, and I hope helps other to read too.
But that's a bad habit tho if you have bad presentation of your code (which I don't have, given how people compliments my code presentation)

My client had a meeting and presentation of app for one possible client of that app. I, as a developer of that app, left a hardcoded id,I saw it but forgot about it immediately. Let's just say filtering did not work properly. Sorry.

"you've worked with nagios before haven't you? Can you give a presentation on it" 'sure' in the meeting: so tell us about opennms

Why does every fucking agile presentation have to have those dumb, meaningless white stick figures in meaningless positions that only serve to fill up whitespace

When you have an important presentation and you are so ready for it, and then you find out you forgot to pack your charger and that you didn't back up the presentation somewhere online and nobody in your entire tech savvy college has a charger compatible with your fancy ass gaming laptop and now you have to commute all the way back and come back in time to do the presentation.

while(projector.isLoading()) me.fixBug();

I have developed a talent for detecting Indian tutorials. It doesn't matter, I'll obviously still watch if their accent isn't really thick (and they don't use Hinglish!) But I just can tell.

Something about their choice of design in presentation is distinct and when you see it... The accent isn't far away.

I just want this week to be over so I can focus on coding =\.

Screw final exams, final research paper, final presentation, and final unit assignment.

I’m terrible at procrastination on things that don’t interest me and my fingers itch to minimize PowerPoint and maximize VS

Changing jobs sound exciting until you discover the onboarding experience.

No architecture overview, no presentation about core services. It's not a problem except that I have to navigate through the different services or hmmm the distributed ball of mud hmmm.

And then they ask you to estimate how long that X or Y ticket will take, so I give always the max possible number :D

how do you react when your manager schedules a product demo with the CEO and you're on leave and other developers beg you to present?

It has ruined my whole day, the team was stuck at the presentation.

I was in a meeting yesterday where a junior dev was pitching an idea for a mobile game. He starts explaining the rules of the game. Here's what he said "Each Players starts off with 5 BALLS 🏀 and when 1 players ball is hit said player loses 1 BALL…" His presentation was excessively laced with mentions of BALLS.

PS: Never pitch a BALLS idea unless you've got BALLS.

During my presentations in class, when I use terminal to navigate through folders, unzip the presentation and related files and open the presentation in LibreOffice, I'm termed to be "showing off" my skills
Why can't people appreciate the fact that I did all that even without lifting my hand off the keyboard and in one third the amount of time!

Spend several months designing an alternative approach to string matching/parsing not based on parser combination or Regex. Benchmark and profile the ever living hell out of it. Find out the performance is highly competitive with FParsec and far easier on memory than either approach. Discover FParsec responds very badly when failing. Document all of this, do a presentation on the design. Upload video of presentation with links to it on a few sites. Presentation gets downvoted, and receive hatemail. Yay.

Hi fellow geeks, so I'm ranting about the lack of basic will and ability of my company people to RTFM that I've prepared to them of how to use the shiny new JIRA that I've configured.
Any idea for a short funny clip (eg simpsons, seinfeld, the office, familyguy whatever) that somehow relates to the above that I can show them in a presentation?
Cheers :)

Right now, I'm doubting my reading skills.

I'm doing a feature acceptance presentation and half way through they're like "did you handle cases A, B and C?"

No.

Fuck.

Now it's got to be rushed in ...
And all because I can't read the spiderweb of requirement docs

After reading a rant about Insomnia cookies... needed some fuel to finish my program presentation.

!rant

Hi guys... So I need a bit of advise.
I'm making my first app, it's an app for a university..
I pitched the idea to the uni director and he really liked it, and I have to do an actual presentation in about a week..

Basically I don't know how to price it... How do you guys price your apps?

Our teacher is such a fucking moron. We wrote a huge fucking test about everything we've learned from him. I've learned like never before for this fucking test. As I wrote it I noticed that what he told us would come in the test, wasn't even in it.
Fast forward a few weeks.
We've got the tests back and surprisingly the average was veeeeery low, BECAUSE HE FUCKING GAVE US THE WRONG TEST. But instead of letting us rewrite it, he will 'Grade our Presentation a bit better. '.
Are you serious?
A presentation is a good grade no matter what and the test counts double.
Everything about this is a fucking joke.

Product presentation for a new module in our software suit in 5 hours.
And just now I got an email from my boss, asking if I could add the gui revamp we were planning for next version today...for the presentation...it's just a UI after all.

But yes of course, obviously I do magic and can design, implement and test a new UI from the ground...in less than 3 hours. Because we have to leave early.

Sometimes...

I hate buzzwords so much, once in school our class of 7 people got a presentation about some program which should have made our life easier. The problem I had was that the person presented with every second word being a buzzword. At some point a just shut down my mind for the rest of it. After the presentation when the class talked about it and I refused to use the program. The whole class had to use another one because of me.

When the team comprises of you and in the presentation you can see 7 more people standing by your side nodding their heads 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

So, I fucked up the presentation for my hackathon entry and we had to contend ourselves with consolation prize 😢. Anyways, it was a great experience 😃

Marketing director changes our corporate presentation and asks for my opinion. I gave him my opinion and then he gets angry and starts talking sh*t. 😐

!rant
That moment of satisfaction when you finally complete a report on Natural Language processing by reffering 6 IEEE paper and 7 presentation document within a night before submission.

In a meeting where the executives are talking about bandwidth issues during the day that affect productivity, meanwhile the laptop being used for the presentation is running uTorrent

Guy sitting next to me on my morning commute working on a presentation called "Containerizing The Assembly Line"... I feel sorry for his devs if that's how he thinks of them.

worked the whole weekend on a presentation my boss held today. he totally messed up and gave false interpretation to every single number. karma's a bitch😁

Sooooo many recruiters at this presentation/competition where we were showing our study product.

Damn