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Search - "bored as fuck"
Holy fucking shit. I just went to my first Java class at uni (3 1/2 hour long one at that) and I havent felt so damn irritated in a while.
So first, I only had about an hour of sleep last night and a full day of work before this class so I was more cranky than normal.
Theres only 7 students in the class, 6 others plus me. I am the only one with any resemblence of programming experience. The teacher also claims to be a linux developer.
This is a three part course series. Java 1, 2, and 3. All taught by the same teacher.
-teacher spends 48 minutes talking about text editors. Not even IDEs. Just talking in depth as fuck about notepad (notepad. Not notepad++ )and atom and textpad. Those three only though, nothing on vim or emacs or ACTUAL IDEs. 48 minutes.
-professor saw linux on laptop and asked what distro. When I said arch he said "oh no you shouldnt be using that Its not really for beginners" ... Uhh what makes you think I'm a beginner to linux? Or does he not think I should be using arch while learning java? Either way its really ridiculous and irritates me that he would discourage anyone from using any software/OS/anything, regardless of what it is or skill level.
-teacher moved a bunch of content out of the course because theyre either "concepts that are never implemented anymore" or "arent critical to know to master the language". These particular topics that were removed? Multi-dimensional arrays, scopes, and exception handling. EXCEPTION HANDLING.
-he writes a hello world program and displays it on the board, proof of it working and everything. He tells the class to write the same program, compile and run it. Never did I guess we would spend the remaining hour and ten minutes of class struggling with fucking hello world programs. Especially when the correct code is on the fucking projector.
And I get it guys, everyone starts somewhere. People have to learn from square one. But these kids have no fucking interest in this. One of them literally admitted to pursuing this degree for the "lavish life" that comes with the salary. Others just picked programming because they didnt know what else to choose to get into the school. It fucking saddens me. I hope that one or some of them end up caring and finding a passion in this field, otherwise I feel fucking sorry for them having to spaghetti code their way through life to get a paycheck cause they couldnt be bothered to put in the effort. I feel even more sorry for any devs they work with in the future too.
The other annoying bit is that I can't test out of this class!! so it looks like for either 7 hours a week ill be bored out of my fucking mind with these beginner concepts or ill be helping others fix really stupid shit in their code (like putting quotes around hello world so it would actually print the string).
Fucking hell. Waste of a semester class.46
Not sure it counts as data loss, more temporary corruption (and in my own brain).
> be me.
> be clinically depressed
> be recently out of an awful breakup
> recently nearly committed suicide by train
> be bored and lonely one night
> take lsd
> feel fine
> go to McDonald’s
> feel fine
> while eating question the nature of reality
> become convinced I’m an observer of a cosmic story and cannot die
> go outside in only jeans
> run in traffic at 1AM to prove my point
> don’t die
> run around the streets more sure of my new reality than I’d ever been of anything
> feel free and no longer sad
> walk around observing the world
> sit on wall and wonder why the story had the structure I was observing
> fall off wall into grass and mud
> follow cute guy into apartment building
> follow into lift
> ask what everything means
> spend better part of couple hours in lift pressing emergency button asking for help
> get no response
> scare poor Russian lady that gets into lift and finds an overweight topless man on the floor babbling incoherently
> ride to top floor
> get out
> sit on leather chair in corridor
> decide I’m actualising my desires and reality
> don’t realise this is just the trip wearing off and consciousness exerting more control
> walk into random apartment (door is unlocked because why wouldn’t it be for the god that I believe I am at this point)
> gorgeous apartment
> realise it’s a family apartment from clothes in hallway and items
> find bathroom
> decide I want a bubble bath
> run bubble bath
> can’t work out how to drain water. Bath now full of twigs and mud #sorry
> decide that I’d like to go home, or onto my next adventure. Hopefully the seaside as I’m now realising I have more control.
> open bathroom door
> not the seaside. Ah well. Try to walk home
> walk home wrapped in fluffy towel from nice family’s apartment
> get home
> realise what had happened
> throw remaining drugs away
> sit and rock in utter paranoia and guilt for hours until flatmate wakes up.
MFW first bad trip ever.
MFW I wonder whether that family knew I was there and were scared / discovered the mess in the bathroom the next morning and not knowing which is worse.
MFW I still have the towel because it’s fluffy AF.
The moral of the story kids, is that when it comes to the OS rattling around in your brain, installing a virus that is sensitive to what apps you have running is a bad idea when those apps make the virus go to fucking town.
Terrible analogy I know, but fuck it.29
Navy story time again. Grab that coffee and fire up Kali, the theme is security.
So, when I got promoted to Lieutenant Jr. I had to attend a 1-year school inside my nostalgic Naval Academy... BUT! I was wiser, I was older... and I was bored. Like, really bored. What could go wrong? Well, all my fellow officers were bored too, so they started downloading/streaming/torrenting like crazy, and I had to wait for hours for the Kali updates to download, so...
mdk3 wlan0mon -d
I had this external wifi atheros card with two antennae and kicked all of them off the wifi. Some slightly smarter ones plugged cables on the net, and kept going, enjoying much faster speeds. I had to go to the bathroom, and once I returned they had unplugged the card. That kind of pissed me off, since they also thought it would be funny to hide it, along with the mouse.
But, oh boy, they had no idea what supreme asshole I can be when I am irked.
So, arpspoof it is. Turns out, there were no subnetworks, and the broadcast domain was ALL of the academy. That means I shut EVERYONE off, except me. Hardware was returned in 1 minute with the requested apologies, but fuck it, I kept the whole academy off the net for 6 hours. The sysadmin ran around like crazy, because nothing was working. Not even the servers.
I finally took pity on the guy (he had gotten the duties of sysadmin when the previous sysad died, so think about that) and he almost assaulted me when I told him. As it turned out, the guy never had any training or knowledge on security, so I had to show him a few things, and point him to where he could study about the rest. But still, some selective arp poison on select douchebags was in order...
Needless to say, people were VERY polite to me after that. And the net speed was up again, so I got bored. Again. So I started scanning the net.
To be continued...3
*me and a bored coworker
me: bored as hell dude.
him: i have a fun game in mind.
him: *brings his keyboard
him: type the string you can type the fastest. we will time it. i will start.
him: *types his name
him: your turn.
me: Scanner scanner = new Scanner(System.in);
him: the fuck is wrong with you?16
Marketing wants to remove the word "sex" from one of my slide decks.
Fuck people who get outraged for others. They are making a bad situation much worse.
Yes, there are people who get triggered by the slightest thing---but those people are going to be triggered no matter what you do. And it seems to me that I'd not want to have them as customers anyway---massive support cost.
We are in danger of washing everything until it becomes an inoffensive shade of beige.
Why do the 99% have to be bored for the 1%?
It's not like I'm doing a live demo...yet...
So, fuck outrage by proxy. If you are personally outraged then say that. If not, shut the fuck up.17
Following on from: https://devrant.com/rants/1345037/...
I sent a polite but very frank email to the manager telling him I don't agree and think its extremely unfair to overlook the breath and scale of work we have done in the past few months. Instead to criticise us for this.
He didn't reply, or really speak to us for a week. Then suddenly one day the developers were all in a meeting room and he butted in to talk.
He first of all said he wanted to let things settle before talking to us, which gave me high hopes as I expected him to then say something like we miss understood, or he didn't realise etc.
... but no ... the next words out of his mouth were "I'm not apologising for anything, and I don't want to be told to piss off in an email".
A) Piss off = completely untrue and a massive exaggeration.
B) Go fuck yourself with a cactus.
C) See point B.
In that meeting we discussed the massive amount of meetings and work we have to do which was described as "just the job".
We were told we all have to be in until 5pm, but that we also don't. We need to be in the office more, but its fine if we can't be. And we need to cut down on WFH, but its ok to WFH ... so yeah everything is crystal clear.
I haven't written any code in 3 - 4 weeks. I'm now dealing with GDPR shit, and our internal processes to handle it (despite having no legal background). Have to fill out 140+ question surveys about each of our projects, which are the most vaguest things i've ever seen.
"Are you processing large scale data" - The fuck is large scale, oh wait heres a definition. "Large scale is determine by volume or percentage of population size" - How in the name of christ is that a definition? Fucking lawyers and their bullshit.
The next round of applications for research funding is coming around soon and were being told to work on proposals (which are huge and a lot of effort). While being told we need to define and improve on our KPI's for the year. While trying to find time to ... you know ... do ... work?
I'm just so fucking bored and pissed off with this place. I have to do the work of 6 people, nothing is ever good enough, devs have to do very non-dev tasks with little to no support. Bosses are just annoyed about everything, everyones in a bad mood and everything sucks.
A friend put me forward for another senior role in another company. Thought this would be my saving grace. They have a strict interview process with white-boarding (which I hate) and will likely ask about algorithms etc which I suck at. I'm so burnt out from this place I just can't find the motivation to go study up or prepare properly.
I just wanna write code, why is there so much bullshit in life11
You can believe or not but it’s just one of those stories. It’s long and crazy and it probably happened.
A few years ago I was interviewed by this big insurance company. They asked me on linkedin and were interested. They didn’t specify who they were so I didn’t specify who I am either.
After they revealed who they are I was just curious how they fuck they want to spend those billions of dollars they claimed in their press notes about this fucking digital transformation everyone is talking about. The numbers were big.
I got into 3 or 4 phone/skype interviews without technical questions and I was invited to see them by person.
I know that it would be funny because they didn’t asked me for CV so they didn’t know anything about me and I was just more curious how far I can get without revealing myself.
They canceled interview at midnight and I was in the middle of Louis de Funès comedies marathon so I didn’t sleep whole night. I assumed they would just reschedule but then they phoned me at 8 am if I can come because they made mistake.
So at first talk I was just interviewed by some manager I knowed after 5 minutes he would be shitty as fuck and demand stupid things in no time because he is not technical. He was trying to explain me that they got so great people and they do everything so fast.
From my experience speed and programming are not the things that match. ( for reference of my thought see three virtues of a GREAT programmer )
So I just pissed them off by asking what they would do with me when I finish this transformation thingy next year. ( Probably get rid off and fire at some point were my thoughts )
Then I got this technical interview on newest gold color MacBook pro - pair programming ( they were showing off how much money they have all the time ).
Really that was the thing and I was so bored and tired that I just asked in what ES standard I can code.
The problem was despite he told me I can do anything and they are using newest standards ( yeah right ) the “for of” loop didn’t worked and he even didn’t know that syntax existed. So I explained him it’s the newest syntax pointing mozilla page and that he need to adjust his configuration. Because we didn’t have time for that I just did it using var an function by writing bunch of code.
When he was asking me if I want to write some tests probably because my code looked ugly as fuck ( I didn’t sleep for more then 24 hours at that point and wanted to live the building as fast as I can) I told I finished and there is no time for tests because it’s so simple and dumb task. The code worked.
After showing me how awesome their office is ( yeah please I work from home so I don’t care ) I got into the talk with VP of engineering and he was the only person who asked me where is my CV because he didn’t know what to talk about. I just laughed at him and told him that I got here just by talking how awesome I am so we can talk about whatever he wants.
After quick talk about 4 different problems where I introduced 4 different languages and bunch of libraries just because I can and I worked with those he was mine.
He told me about this awesome stack they’re building with kubernetes and micro services and the shitty future where they want to put IOT into peoples ass to sell them insurance and suddenly I got awake and started to want that job but behind that all awesomeness there was just .NET bridge with stack of mainframes running COBOL that they want to get rid off and move company to the cloud.
They needed mostly people who would dump code to different technology stack and get rid of old stack ( and probably those old people ) and I was bored again because I work more in r&d field where you sometimes need to think about something that don’t exist and be creative.
I asked him why it would take so much time so he explained me how they would do the transformation by consolidating bunch of companies and how much money they would make by probably firing people that don’t know about it to this day.
I didn’t met any person working permanently there but only consultants from corporations and people hired in some 3rd party company created by this mother company.
They didn’t responded with any decision after me wasting so much time and they asked me for interview for another position year after.
I just explained HR person how they treat people and I don’t want to work there for any money.
If You reached this point it is the end and if it was entertaining thank YOU I did my best.
Have a nice day.5
Not a rant, just my thoughts :)
At November and October of last year I was very frustrated with everything - everything was annoying me and I was bored even with coding. I needed a break and do something different - go somewhere.
So we decided with friends that we will go to Georgia to spent there New Year Eve. Right now I'm coming back from airport by bus to my city aftertrip but can't sleep because I'm energized as fuck! Whole week without internet (sometimes we got open wifi to check buses or maps), without local sim card, without roaming, just our group and good attitude. We visited almost whole north of Georgia riding in taxis, marshrutka, even autostop, and it was fucking awesome.
So, when you are exhausted, take a break and regenerate your baterries, work is not everything! Just wanted to share this with you :) Can't wait to go to work in monday to write some code :) Life is beautiful!
On photo - my friend takes photo of Kazbek Mountain :)4
Ever had a resignation that felt like a break-up? I did but with a client instead of my actual employer.
I was annoyed with the company because the client gave me a very high rating but they said that because there are other more tenured people in the company who received the same rating, they had to put my rating down one level and not give me the progression. It's a big company with employees in all continents including Antarctica so fuck that. What are the fucking odds I would ever win this game?
I asked them what if I receive another high rating next year, would I still not get a progression? They said yes because then I would have been above average for two years. Fuck that too. I'm not buying that bullshit. If I stayed here for another year and you don't give me that or maybe you do but you give me a shitty raise for some bullshit reason, I would have lost so much money and hated myself. Anyway, "good" ratings still get a raise. I've been warned by other colleagues that it might be small but oh boy, it was laughable.
So I started checking my LinkedIn messages and read an invite from an interesting company. I accepted and just went through the interviews and exams like whatever. Their CTO, developers, and the manager liked me somehow. A few hours after I talked to the manager, I received an offer that's way higher than my current salary, permanent remote work, and other benefits. This happened within two weeks so it wasn't like I was a walking disgruntled employee hissing at everybody and everyone can see me leaving soon.
I filed the resignation. My company informed the client. Their senior engineer called me. I admire this guy because he's smart, patient, designs, writes, documents shit really well, and an open source contributor (yes, priorities). I also find him fucking sexy. Anyway, he called me and his eyes looked watery, his voice sounded really sad, and he was surprised that I'm leaving. He thought maybe I was bored or something. I said I wasn't, I just really got a great offer and I want to take it. He said he didn't want to lose me and his eyes were so.. ugh. The asshole that I am decided to make jokes because of course. We laughed it off and made plans about knowledge transfers and all that.
I cried after that call because I was so pissed off with my current company that I forgot how good my team mates were (the guy I kept ranting about left) and how much I enjoyed learning so much in the project. We were building things from the base, no toxicity, and I'm not sure I'm gonna have that same experience with the new company. Experience taught me that it's rare to find team mates you like that likes you back in a project where growth exists and no toxic bullshit. Literally the only reason I decided to leave was money but I'm not gonna stay without a significant salary bump either. Survival (?) instincts win.
The next day, he summoned their manager. He talked to me and said they can hire a new developer but I always did a great job in the project and my team mates like me so they would rather hire me internally instead. I said I'm willing to take a counteroffer and gave them my conditions. Days passed and I talked to the HR manager, this guy, and that guy, etc. I asked how much the salary would be and they gave me a range. It's a little lower than the new offer I got but still way higher than what I was earning. I said I can't accept unless they give me the exact amount.
I was about to decline when their manager summoned the head of engineering. This guy is busy as fuuuuck and he decided to call the peasant that is me. More compliments which I appreciate but show me the money, of course. He said my team is not willing to let me go, what do I want, what are my concerns, what would it take to convince me to stay, etc. We talked about all the things and he messaged the HR manager on the spot to give me the maximum salary in the range. I did my survey beforehand, it was higher than the maximum pay for my role. We fist bumped virtually and I waited for the official contract.
I received the contract, he was true to his words. I get additional benefits like relocation package (when the borders open, I don't care about this much, tbh), work wherever I want most months of the year 'cause I said I wanted to travel when this shit ends, 12 free flights anywhere every year, and unlimited 90% discount on flights. They had this even before the pandemic and I can use it locally while the international borders are still closed.
I ended up getting everything I wanted but it was an impulsive move that would have turned the opposite way. My team was happy about the news and so was I. I was very sad during that week though. Every time I resigned, it's either a "meh," or "fuck you and your children, thank god I'm out of this fucking shit hole, I hope this building burns". This was the first time I actually cried and none of these fuckers would ever know. :')26
I was out Thursday at the Hospital. I'm what the doctors would call "Ill as fuck"
So, Friday I’m back in the office to the usual: "How was that appointment?"
I know people mean well when they ask this. So, I do the polite thing and tell them it went as well as it could.
Realistically it does't matter how well it went... They haven't cured Crohn's because I showed up to the appointment. They know I'm fucked already.
But, push it down, add it to the future aneurism.
I had to go through the usual resignation meetings with managers:
"We"re fucked now you're going"
"we need to get a handle on how fucked"
"already done that for you, here"s a trello board, very fucked."
"we need to put a plan together to drop all the junior devs in the shit with the work you’ve been doing"
"You need about 4 devs, please refer to the previous trello board for your plan"
Meanwhile, me and Morpheus are in constant communication because all of this is like a Shakespearean comedy.
So, I overhear a conversation between a Junior Dev and the Solution Architect.
[SA] took over the project because he knows better than two tried and tested senior devs -_- (fuckwit).
JD: "It took me one and a half days to build it out"
SA: "Yeah, it must have taken me twice as long... It must be a problem with the project, you should just be able to check it out and run it."
JD: "I know, it has to be wrong"
All of this is about Morpheus' work of art, of an Ionic 3 hybrid app.
I fumed quietly at my desk because I've been ordered by the Stazi to be hands off.
Since Morpheus and me were pulled from the project [JD] and [JD2] were dropped into it to get it over the line.
It"s unfortunate and I was clear and honest with my advice to them: I personally would not take over the project because I"d be way out of my depth... Oh, and the App works, so uh, there's no work to do.
They have been constantly at our desks. Asking fuckdiculous questions about how to perform basic tasks. So they can get Morpheus" frigging masterpiece to the user.
It"s like watching that touch up of jesus that got borked by an amateur. Shit I have google, it's like watching this happen: http://ti.me/NnNSAb
[JD] came to me Friday evening.
"I can’t get this to build to iOS or install on [Test Analyst]'s phone."
Me: "No worries brother, where are you stuck right now?"
[JD] describes the first steps with clear indication he hasn't googled his problem.
Life lesson: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lmgtfy
Que an hour of me showing [JD] how to build an Ion3 project for iOS. Fuck it, your man's in a bind and he"s asked politely for help. I can show him quicker than he can read 3 sets of docos.
I took him through 'ionic cordova build ios', the archive and release processes in XCode 9, then the apk bundling process for droid. Finally we have an MAM so the upload process for that too.
All the while cleaning up his AppIDs, Profiles, deployment attempts.
Damn they were a mess.
I did this with a smile on my face, not because I could say "I told you so"... But. because when any developer asks you how to do something. If you know how to do it, you should always be happy to learn them some new tricks!
Dude's alright, he's been dropped in the shit. Now I know how badly so I'll help him learn things that are useful to his role, but aren't project specific.
As a plausi-senior dev (I'll tell you about that later); it's my job to make sure my team have what they need to go home smiling!
I’m not a hateful fucker, the guy asked me an honest question so I am happy to give him the honest answer.
I took him through it a few times and explained a few best practices. Most were how to do his AppID and ProvProfile set up. Good lad, took it all on board.
However! In his frustration, he pointed the finger at Morpheus' "David" (ref: Michelangelo).
He miraculously morphed into a shiny colourful parrot and fed me SA's line:
"you should just be able to build from a clean clone"
My response was calm and clear:
"You can, it took me 20 minutes on Thursday evening. I was bored and curios, so I wanted to validate Morpheus' work. Here it is on my iOS device and my Android device. It would have taken me 5 if my laptop wasn’t so horrifically out of date."
I validated Morpheus' work so I have evidence, I trust that brilliant bastard.
I just need to be able to prove it's good.
[JD] took this on board.
Maybe listening to two tried and trusted senior devs is better than listening to a headstrong Solution Architect.
When JD left for the weekend I was working a late one (https://www.devrant.io/rants/874765).
His sign off was beautiful.
"I think I can happily admit defeat on this one, it can wait until Monday."
To which I replied: "no worries brother, if you need a hand give me a shout."
Rule 1: Don't be a cunt.
Rule 2: If someone needs help and you can give it: Give it!
Rule 3: Don't interrupt James' cigarette time.
Rule 4: goto Rule 3.4
I was talking with a PHP dev. He was also fan of Hellreiser as I am.
We were bored and I sugested to design a “Php superhero” or something like that. He propoused “Php man: Once the page loads, he can’t do anything”. Then, I draw this: A Php cenobite. (Cenobite: Like an interdimentional sado monster)
Yes, the php dev is the same guy of the php thong from my last rant 😂8
!dev !rant but still funny story
As the goth of the dev team, sometimes people ask me several things about me.
I was working on my code. It was 3 or 4PM and a bored dev asks came to me
He: Have you ever tried to be a vampire?
Me: No, I’m just a goth
He: Do you know a vampire?
Me: Unfortunately no, but I’ve heard of them.
He: Do they suck blood?
I don’t know if he was asking because of curiosity or in a sarcastic mode. As usual, I answered in a polite way explaining him what means to be a vampire, the types (blood and energetic) and the difference between a goth and a vampire.
While I was explaining to him this, the boss came into the office, heard me talking about the energetic vampires and said “Wow wow wow! What is coming on here?!” 😂16
To long to read. So don’t do it.
I feel disappointed. It’s not about job or stuff. I’m disappointed about world in general. I don’t see my future on this planet anymore.
The world more or less looks like that :
Politics are trying to help you by stealing more money from you. The more you’re lucky the more money you will pay for it.
Media punch you with some family stuff from everywhere, give you young rich and far away, beautiful picture photos of places, people and food that you at most could visit once or twice per year during holidays that are break from work concentration camps.
If you’re lucky you’re rich or got rich or wealthy and infamous so you can walk wherever you want and don’t give a fuck what you wear but again your old friends are not so lucky bastards so you need to find new friends that are probably assholes. At the end most of the days you you’re doing nothing except killing time to meet with people you like during weekends or evenings.
Then there are families and everyone want to tell you that’s important. Family is like herd of assholes, if you’re weak they will sacrifice you and tell that you’re looser behind your back but when you get wealthy they will come back to tell you that when you were young and stupid they played with you so now you have to buy them some stuff or get them a job.
At the end there are people with “I wrote that book” certificate of excellence try to sell you opinions on everything starting from sexual positions ending on how to take a good dump. The problem is that the moment they wrote that book it becomes obsolete. Teachers of useless knowledge from last century that forgot about google or wikipedia.
All of them are playing your emotions, cause impulses and hormones are what makes you weak and people are looking for your weaknesses to take advantage of you. Get your money or get your attention and maybe even both at the same time. Cause views matter you know it. So like and subscribe dumb fucks.
If you’re lucky you find couple of them who aren’t doing that. Who the fuck knows why but this shit happens. It doesn’t matter if they’re family or you met them month ago. Those are only to keep and hardest to find. Unluckily those also can change by other people they meet or when they’re young.
If you can’t find a friend get a dog or cat or whatever animal you like. Their love is unconditional and obvious to read.
Well that’s most of the “I want to be spotted” culture that is all boring as fuck. Personalized ass and glamorous pictures and short movies of everything you don’t need but looks awesome. And as you see it’s still growing with more specialized portals like onlyfans, twitch and tiktok. We all need to look at what everyone else have or want to have cause 99% of time 99% of us are boring and is bored as fuck. Most of us can repeat same small amount set of stories all their life cause we’re not created to entertain.
I don’t feel joy looking at this shit fucked full of shit people arguing who’s dick is bigger. Who can post most dumb thing. I think I need a break but how to break from everything ? How to break from culture of money where to live on your country land you need to pay property tax ?
That’s all fucked up. Life’s fucked up.27
"Programming teacher" sounds weird. When I recall some teachers I had on these subjects in high school and College, there's really nothing they taught me that I couldn't have figured out myself with the help of books and the internet.
I do have a favorite though. A professor I had in College. She's open-minded and doesn't restrict our creativity. Every time she makes us work on a project, we have the freedom to build it however we want as long as the essence is still there. She also caught a bunch of porn Tumblr pages in my address bar while I was presenting something to her. She just laughed it off and said it's okay, we all get curious sometimes.
The best one so far is my current senior. I learned a lot from him, things I wouldn't even bother looking up online. I always receive excellent feedback even before I started working with him but he expanded my knowledge in a different way and doesn't allow me to stagnate by giving me random new "what the fuck is this" projects.
I went from "I don't think I can look for a new job with these new tools" to "That's all the money and benefits you can give me? Get out of my sight."
He's also very attentive. During our calls, he pays attention if I sound bored or sad. I always try to do whatever I can to make his life easier or help him (except now 'cause I'm totally slacking off).12
Here comes the story how I became a DevRanter.
When I was young, I built an expensive gamer-machnine, so I had to crack games. I Got used to computers, so I startet an apprenticeship in IT. I finished with good grades. I left everything and everyone behind and moved in a city, found a parttime job as a PHP developer and started studying CS. After 5 years doing work as developer, studying CS, creeping around as soldier, I finally finished and graduated. After a few months working fulltime (same job), as my life began to settle down and I got bored.
A flatmate (also CS) laughed his ass off about something, then he introduced me to DevRant. It became part of my life to read DevRant, to overcome boredom. But there are not enough new Rants.. I'm f'cked. OK, I resigned my Job, and my flat and signed up for the BS in natural scinces at university in an even bigger city. I will again leave everything behind to begin a new life. Now I'm planing to freelance to pay the bills and challenge me again. Wish me luck :)
So I am beginning this new life with writing this story, how i became a dev. I klick Post, and bang! "please verify your email before ranting.. blah" I got no mail, no span, nothing. Resend.. wait.. nothing. I WAS BORED AGAIN!! FUCK YOU MAIL-SERVER, WHY CAN'T YOU SEND AN EMAIL WITHIN SECONDS OR MINUTES, WE ARE IN 21ST CENTURY AND THE INTERNET CONSISTS MAINLY OF OPTIC FIBER CABLES!!
And this is, dear DevRant community, how i become a Ranter, just then when I wanted to Post my first story.4
Handed off a Markdown presentation to the marketing dept to add some pizzaz too---just to see what happens.
My bet is that they'll redo it all in PowerPoint. Or fire me. Latter is the lessor of two evils.2
I was cleaning and found this draw I made at class when I was at university (the last days of the semester).
Title for the image?5
Devs, post your device's homescreen screenshot here.
Starting with mine.
Device name : One plus 3T25
I recently accepted my first "real" Dev position. This has been a huge hurdle for me.
So my degree is in graphic design and it's pretty much what I spent the first 2-3 years after university doing. In fact, when I started at the place I am now (I am still working my notice) I was hired as a creative artworker.
I had always had a website I put together with some basic frontend skills, but always assumed the backend stuff was "beyond me". But, given the option here, I asked to be sent on a PHP course. Holy shit I took to it like a duck to water. Over the next few months I got my feet wet building a new website for the company, building out a little intranet, all that good stuff. I went from procedural spaghetti monstrosities to nice, OOP, documented code. It was beautiful. And no one here really have a fuck.
About 6 months ago, I started trying to leave. This was hard. I actually had several interviews for design positions, but always got turned down for some variation of "you're very technical and we think you'd get bored here" and thank god really, because they're right. I could never get a look in for Dev jobs though, because on paper I had no experience, hell my job title was still "Digital Designer" despite over a year of developing here.
But it finally happened. Through someone I used to know I got my foot in the door for a developer position. In the interview they even told me if it was a junior position they'd hire me on the spot - but sadly it wasn't. I had a good time though, a good laugh, and had a lot of fun finally, for the first time in my life, "working" and talking with other developers.
Over the next couple of weeks the agent kept telling me I had done really well and they were just dragging their feet getting things sorted, but I gave up hope a little. So imagine my surprise when I found out they turned the role into a junior one for me!
And so now, I get to go to a job where my job title includes the word "Developer". To some of you that might not mean much, but to me it's a fucking medal I wish I could mount on a plaque on my wall.4
I'm feeling like writing this down...
So today I got told off by my boss. Why? Because my job bores me.
My current title, "webmaster", is quite similar to "plumber" where I work. I fix holes on our websites, and I tell "qualified" people (external providers) how a project should be made. Nothing exciting, nothing creative, boring.
So I got told off today for being "laid-back" in a newsletter project (GDPR, looking at you) and not being thorough in my procedures of testing and configuration. Fair enough, I didn't care and I admitted it. It's a boring drag-and-drop done in literally 5 minutes, there's no added brain-value here. Plus I got told off by my IT Manager because our Exchange server would not let me receive test emails. Still doesn't work after a day. Yay.
Then she said "we're doing exciting things here, it's not always the case anywhere else you'd work". And I'm like: "really? I love writing code, seeing things coming alive, investigating why things don't run smoothly, writing efficient code (both in performance and in readability)". I hear many friend devs telling me they're doing that and what they do during their "dev-day"... All I'm doing here is "maintenance" (a.k.a boring) stuff that apparently is "exciting". Adding a <script> to handle google tag manager is hell fun, going through compiled CSS and change color values is also thrilling, finding out if a PDF handler application can handle PDF files, re-plugging a computer monitor to make it work...
I think she meant that I'm not at my place here.
Didn't want to tell her that I have no motivation in doing things I don't enjoy making, i.e, my job.
Good thing I have an interview in two weeks2
Another draw I found while cleaning my room. I made this on my last semester of the career at university.
Yeah, another Php. Remember the “Php elephant thong guy”? (Reference to another rant I posted) Here I’m fighting him with several programming languages. I remember that I made this because he only coded on php and jQuery, and I said to him “you’ll need to learn another languages if you want to apply to a new job”.
Which programming languages can you identify?
P.D. I don’t like PHP that much, I’d rather use Python or C#2
How often do you get bored (eg. on a bus) and just code something completely stupid on your phone?
(pic is the result of some spaggeti I made on a bus today)7
I remember the first time I downloaded smth from the internet and was extremely nervous not to fuck anything up. I was young and had just started using a computer. It was a desktop computer with windows xp in our basement, inside kind of its own wardrobe, standalone.
I remember my dad (not very tech-savvy) who told me not to download anything from the internet, as it would surely be a virus, but I was bored of the built-in programs and wanted to try it out. I downloaded a program and was extremely nervous and hoped for no virus. I don't remember what I installed back then (no virus/trojan/etc.😅) but it was this moment I realised I could download anything and wasn't tied to what the OS provided, which led me to be interested in computers in general.
I believe that if I hadn't attempted that download, I wouldn't have become the tech-savvy person that I am today, studying CS...
I really need to vent. Devrant to the rescue! This is about being undervalued and mind-numbingly stupid tasks.
The story starts about a year ago. We inherited a project from another company. For some months it was "my" project. As our company was small, most projects had a "team" of one person. And while I missed having teammates - I love bouncing ideas around and doing and receiving code reviews! - all was good. Good project, good work, good customer. I'm not a junior anymore, I was managing just fine.
After those months the company hired a new senior software engineer, I guess in his forties. Nice and knowledgeable guy. Boss put him on "my" project and declared him the lead dev. Because seniority and because I was moved to a different project soon afterwards. Stupid office politics, I was actually a bad fit there, but details don't matter. What matters is I finally returned after about 3/4 of a year.
Only to find senior guy calling all the shots. Sure, I was gone, but still... Call with the customer? He does it. Discussion with our boss? Only him. Architecture, design, requirements engineering, any sort of intellectually challenging tasks? He doesn't even ask if we might share the work. We discuss *nothing* and while he agreed to code reviews, we're doing zero. I'm completely out of the loop and he doesn't even seem to consider getting me in.
But what really upsets me are the tasks he prepared for me. As he first described them they sounded somewhat interesting from a technical perspective. However, I found he had described them in such detail that a beginner student would be bored.
A description of the desired behaviour, so far so good. But also how to implement it, down to which classes to create. He even added a list of existing classes to get inspiration or copy code from. Basically no thinking required, only typing.
Well not quite, I did find something I needed to ask. Predictably he was busy. I was able to answer my question myself. He was, as it turns out, designing and implementing something actually interesting. Which he never had talked about with me. Out of the loop. Fuck.
Man, I'm fuming. I realize he's probably just ignorant. But I feel treated like his typing slave. Like he's not interested in my brain, only in my hands. I am *so* fucking close to assigning him the tasks back, and telling him since I wasn't involved in the thinking part, he can have his shitty typing part for himself, too. Fuck, what am I gonna do? I'd prefer some "malicious compliance" move but not coming up with ideas right now.5
# -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
from rant import depression as fuck
from WhiskeyBottle import *
while bottle.contents > 0.0 and time.datetime():
Yeah ok, this will be one of a few, but I'll try to keep it short. Damn, whiskey is not helping. Nor various smokables.
So yeah, have you ever had a dream? I consider myself a gamer the whole life, always loved creative worlds, dynamics, mechanics, plots, stuff you could and couldn't do. To the point I promised myself I'd make a game - NAH - I'll be making games in the future. You know, good games, that you come back to. Like Doom. Or those porn games.
Never went to Uni or nothing. Was born in a poor European country with Internet more broken than my soul right now. Years later, after acquiring some good hardware, learning a bunch of languages, Unity, Unreal Engine 4 and experimenting for about 10 years now with small scripts, apps and mini-games I've come to this realization.
I only made one "full" "game" in my life, and that was when I was like 16 in Klik & Play (early Game Maker). And it was shit. It was horrible, horrible shit. It literally makes you want to cry when you play it. It's 16-bit brain cancer. And it's the best I've ever published.
Now I've been through countless prototypes, none of which I've developed any further. I had ideas, plans, even made some more advanced roadmaps and dev cycles. Estimated costs, time, mechanics, gameplay hooks.
I never finish anything.
I get bored. Frustrated sometimes. There's always an improvement, something that "if I'd finish that it would be it! Screw this thing I was working on now, THAT will be worth sacrificing it." It's tiresome. I'm getting old.
And honestly, I don't know how people do it anymore. Trying to compromise those side-projects (they take all my free time which is not much) and work is just... draining. I'm losing hope. Maybe I shouldn't be allowed into the gamedev world after all. Maybe I'll just pump half-assed pieces of crap everybody will hate.
Or worse, nobody will care.7
A few months ago I got recommended a Flutter and Dart course on Udemy, thought yeah fuck it lets get it, fast forward to 5 minutes ago...
"Ok I'm bored, feel like coding and doing something different, lets do some of this course..."
*Opens udemy, clicks on course*
"Hm, must have changed the thumbnail..."
*Clicks first lecture and is greeted with "Hello friends!"*
Yep, got the wrong fucking course didn't I ;-;
Here hoping Udemy may offer a refund seeing as I hadn't started the course till now... Fuck1
So my first dev job has ended up as fucking dat entry after one of the contractors got bored and left.
I’m an SQL Developer (at least that is my job title) and all I do is fuck around with exchange rates in spreadsheets.
The only “proper” development work they gave me hasn’t even been applied to the test server yet (should have been done over a month ago)
And the project they gave me to look into migrating from sourcesafe to GitLab has ground to a halt.
I’ve been here 4 months and I want to quit already, that must be a record (for me at least)
I was keen an full of energy, willing to do some work from home etc. But a little piece of me dies every time i open Excel3
Ive been thinking for a few now that if like to begin a social program to get old people to play computer games.
They are often bored as fuck， cant move much and have no mental challenges.
I mean what else than video games could save the day?
Old homes with puzzles and missing pieces. Dementia neighbours. Ots a no brainer!3
My specialization exam is over hurray! But what now? Went from working 30+ hours a week to 0.
Never have i felt so empty, from coming home feeling tired and a need to relax with games to just existing.
I literally got home, stared at my desktop for about an hour, and then began work on one of my friends exam projekt... I think I'm broken :p1
When the monthly scrum retrospective reaches the 90 minute mark...
You know when people are being stress tested and they break by getting up, run around screaming and ultimately knock themselves unconscious by running into a wall?
That. I felt like doing that.
I swear someone activates some sort of gravity well when these meetings begin because time beings to stretch on and o........n....... while they meetings happen.
I began to list things I think I'd rather be doing than be in that meeting.
1) Tax returns.
2) Prostate exam (not old enough to need one yet but at least I'd be out the meeting).
3) Visiting the dentist.
4) Assembling IKEA furniture.
5) Watching soccer at least they have the decency to give you a break in the middle and I find sports as engaging as a dog turd on the sidewalk.
So bored was I that I began to notice notches and holes in the ceiling tiles and when I remarked upon them others became engrossed in them and began to speculate upon their origins.
I don't know who a speaker is, what department they are from, what product they're working on or what's so important about the algorithm they're working on. There is no context, no explanation and half way through a show and tell I had to check we were still in a show and tell.
I was bored shitless. I actually felt physical pain from boredom, I've not felt that way since I was a child.
I really, really hate that scrum is implemented in this way.
It left me with only half an hour of coding time left and really it sapped my energy and motivation to the point where I just went home early.
Excuse my language, but:
Fucking bloody cunting waste of time, I've had more productive moments in the restroom. They need to piss off or committed seppuku, ideally both. Dante got it wrong the seventh level of hell is this. I'm usually a very calm and balanced individual but yesterday, yesterday I just... Fuck! Argh! Fuck you meeting, fuck you.
If you are the type that schedules meetings like this:
May a thousand Jabberwockies plague your nightmares and be it that the next seventy seven times you lay with a human shall ye experience bitter failure! I hope Cthulhu himself visits his "enlightenment" upon you and you fear sleep henceforth.
I'm bringing a rubix cube or juggling balls into the next meeting so that I can say at least I learned something and it wasn't time wasted.3
Welcome to post 2 of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU?, a saga of competence, empathy and me being dick, even tho I didn't want to be one.
This is a follow-up to: https://devrant.com/rants/2363374 It's title is: "Oh, you can post only every 2h. Didn't know that". I also didn't know that the rest of my rant would be put into a comment. For consistency tho, this time I am still splitting the story.
A wise person once wrote in their book: "People judge other people by two things: Empathy and competence." This may not be an accurate quote, but it carries the same message. Also, I don't really remember who was the author. I only know they were probably quite wise. Anyway, I just wanted to share that sentence. Have a moment and think about it. Or don't. Here's my story:
A was a software house that looked pretty promising. They were elegant, their page and offer looked nice. Well, unless you consider the fact that they offered me internship. Unpaid. But I decided to meet with them anyway, since I had hope that I could negotiate some sort of paid internship or a job contract even. I did my homework after all, and I was confident I am able to keep up with their requirements. I arrived a little bit... no, way to early. One damn hour. Whatever, I waited. I was greeted by a woman. We had a cultural conversation, she had a list of 12 questions I needed to answer, as a form of a test. We begun. First question: How do you change a value in Oracle Database? "Wait a minute", I thought, "What kind of question is that?". Why in seven hells would you want your frontend developer to know how to handle oracle db? Well, I gave my answer, I did lick some of that SQL in my life. Next question: Java stuff. The bloody gal didn't even care to check what position I am applying to before the interview! At this point I didn't really have very high hopes. A shame on them forever.
The story of B and C is connected and a little bit more complicated. More on that in part 2. B stands for Bank. A big corporation then, by definition. A person I know decided called me that day and told me they're hiring, that he referred me and that they would like to arrange a meeting. And so we did. It was couple of days before Christmas. C was a software house again. Or a startup. Idk really. Their website wasn't finished so I couldn't read anything useful up on them. They didn't tell me much about themselves either. They also started with "unpaid internship".
In C, they would greet me and instantly sit me down next to a mac laptop and told me, "hey, do this stuff in python". What the fuck, not again... I told them that I am frontend dev, they guy said "it's no problem, you said you know python, it's a simple task". And yeah, I did host some apps in Flask and I did use psycopg2. It was in my CV. But never, ever, have I mentioned knowing heuristics nor statistics. I'm no data scientist, monsieur. Whatever, I tried, I failed a little bit, I told them that maybe if I did want to spend half of my day there I would finish this task, but back then I was way too nervous to focus and code. I told them what should be done in code and that I just was unable to code this at the very moment. They nodded, we said goodbye and I was sure not to hear from them ever again.
In B, I was greeted by a senior frontend dev. He told me the recruiter is sick and he couldn't come, so we're talking alone. I can buy it. We sat down in said meeting room, and he asked me if I wanted a drink. No thx, I had digested so much caffeine during last 24h, next dose could be an overdose. And then, he took out my resume printed in paper. With notes on it. With some stuff encircled. That bloody bastard did his homework. We spent over an hour, just talking in friendly atmosphere. It was an interview, but it was a conversation also. We shared our experiences, opinions and it went just perfect.
On December 20, I was heading home for Christmas. My situation looked like this: A called me they could offer me only unpaid internship. I was getting kinda bored of rice and debts, tbh. I gracefully rejected their generous offer. B didn't give me feedback yet(it was a most recent interview, so I didn't expect any message until after Christmas anyway). C told me that they could give me internship, but I managed to convince them to make it paid internship. After three months of very bad times, things were starting to get better.
On part III we will explore further events of my very recent past. That post will be same amount of storytelling and possibly a lesson for those who seek an employer and for those who seek an employee.6
Before rant (introduction): I'm the kind of dev that is a procrastinator by default, it takes me a huge amount of effort to avoid this bad habit.
So, I'm going on vacation next week and finished all my shores on Monday. As I'm about to go on vacation, my team leader is avoiding giving me work so that it doesn't stay half way when I leave.
The problem is, this is the third day that I arrive at the office knowing that I will be there for 8 hours wasting my time not doing shit and looking at the screen!!!
The worst part is that if I get this bad habit going, it will stay and I will start to procrastinate a lot if I don't work to do fast5
Dude how the hell are u even staying at home, I have been home for like a week now and IDK what to do, im bored as fuck.
Umm okay try writing my code in prolog, u would wish the inverse.8
I always wanted to have my first post here be something that pisses the sh!t out of me.
tl;dr: Memes are for braindeads and kids are fucktards
So basicaly I am now having a summerjob before my next semester starts so I can make some cash to buy some overpriced stuff I dont probably need. I work at a factory, 3 shift work and today we had Night shift, so there was me and a bunch of Arab guys, kicking our asses by pure boredom and desperacy.
I was bored, opened my phone and decided entertain myself by some funny sh!t I can find on Mark Sugarhills webpage. I was just passing by some random a bit funny stuff and then I found some random ass meme, which doesnt give a single, even distant sence to me.. So since my german is as good as my coding skills (read: complete shit) I couldnt ask for opinion of my fellow coworkers and since its fuck1ng 4am theres noone to ask on messenger or whatever. So I did it... I asked in a goddamn comments, what the fck is that supposed to mean and Aw dear Lawd... I did a mistake.
Like 4 seconds after my question I had a response and I was like 0.o It has to be some Alice of Facebook so I guess someone cool. Oh boy I was never so wrong. The answer... the... FUCKING answer was.... "normie."
What the actual fuck?
Like man statisticaly speaking, there is 200,000 people on this wannabe funny site and since everyone is apparently laughing their asses off, I am the motherfucking original snowflake.
But I wanted to play it cool... was like Uhm sorry, I really tried but cant figure it out.
His fuck-me-sideways-with-rusty-crowbar answer was:
a) The joke is hidden in some random thing we created yesterday and decided to call it a culture
b) "u dumb"
I hope that most of you finally guessed it! Its the second fucking answer and oh sweet mother of pain, please find him, BUT thats where I flipped and fucking lost it.
The fucking nerve to speak to me like that u dissrespectful piece of shit. Go watch some Twitch, while I SSH into ur ass and hit u harder than ur mom her forehead everynight when she realises that she could have swallow you dickhead.
I was always worries that my child would like to be a Rapper, or Youtuber...
But today Im adding being some dumb ass meme creator.8
I’m from the UK, should I go freelance?
Last few weeks I’ve been feeling really bored with my job. Like mega fucking bored. It’s basically just meetings 7 hours a day, 4 hours planning and then 3 hours of talking about how everything didn’t get finish (I know. I keep saying it’s the fucking 7 hour fucking meetings).
Pay is pretty decent, we have a few juniors, not exactly great code base, kinda cool idea, pretty unique, business will defo work or be sold by corporate owners. (Start up owned by corporate)
I just feel really flat and bored. Mega bored. Keep wondering about going solo and being more of a consultancy or my own little agency? I’ve tried before but I suck at marketing and freelancer and similar sites never provided enough income.
I guess my questions are (if anyone wants to answer):
- What’s this new IR35 or whatever? Is it now pointless to be self employed?
- how would I boost my leads?
- should I do a bit of contracting to get used to it maybe?
- should I just stay where I am and deal with the feeling of not really feeling like I was hired to do anything?
I do also have a little side business I started that I could also work on whenever I have free time, it’s not taking any money at the moment though, early years I suppose?
I’m really sorry if anyone feels offended to read that I’m fucking bored and don’t have a clue what to do with myself. Please don’t reply with some sarccy comment. I really cba to have an internet keyboard troll fight about some stupid opinion we’ll all forget about in a few days. This now counts as a rant. So fuck you. It’s a rant. And I’m rant about the possibility you might comment on my post not bring a rant coz I can’t tell what category I’m posting on. I live in the 5th dimension. Deal. With. It. Or just ignore and scroll on 👍🏼5
I have a file manager that's only halfway done. While I'm working on it, I'm using the features it already has to create files for other parts of the project so I don't waste like 30 seconds copy-pasting the usual boilerplate. Totally reasonable.
Now, there is no delete button in the barebones UI. There is a function for deleting files or entire directories, I can call these manually by printing, of all things. $:NUKE DIR;> is weird enough that I wouldn't write it by accident. But there is no buttons for these things. Because there is no checking, no "are you sure" type safeguard. And I don't trust myself to remember.
There IS one safeguard however. The manager will refuse to delete a folder identified as the source directory of a project. But everything INSIDE /src/ is fair game. And so I realize, this a stupid safeguard that does nothing. I can't accidentally delete the whole folder but I can accidentally delete each subfolder one by one.
So I disable deleting of files through the manager until I figure this out. It's not hard. I could just sneak a getch in there and call it a day. But I need the UI to be painfully obvious about what it's doing before it does anything, else I will screw myself over unknwingly at one point or another. It has happened before.
Meanwhile I'm working on three other fucking tasks and my brain is spaghetti. Commit message reads utter fucking mess, disdain for python has increased. I'm slowly hating it more and more. I need a minimal python version so I can build the build system. I need the build system to compile the manager. I need the manager to not go crazy shuffling libraries and listing files. But the manager isn't complete. Back to step one.
This is very much an endless, hardcoded depedency cycle until at least one piece is finished. Break the wheel. Or rather this monolithic piece of shit. I've gone rogue. No syntax highlighting and haven't checked documentation in weeks. I somehow know how all of this works and at the same time I don't. I wrote it, and THERE IS a function for that, I just can't find it. Debugger says error @KVNSL.RUN but I know it's actually buried deep within the asscracks of draw. One hack saved me five minutes of thinking through the implementation and now I am paying the price.
$:ADDITEM TEST;> but the linewrap is broken. Again. I am drawing out of bounds. I know what's the problem, let me scroll for five minutes real quick so I can copy paste this ridiculous fix from an unrelated file I forgot about until now. How do you like that, you fuck. Look, there's that call I commented six weeks ago in case the new system was worse, maybe I haven't decided yet, except I have. I should delete it but I'm leaving it there for posterity. Look son, that's the useless fucking zombie method your grandad was too much of a wanker to get rid of, still there to this day.
Breaktime. Eat, drink. Random find a video of myself fucked on rum and alkokayine holding an electric guitar with my knees and pulling on the broken strings to produce artsy noise as I convulse on the floor in a den of evil. Huh. Guess I used to be pretty fucking rock n roll. But does that make me a literal rockstar programmer I don't fucking think so. Rockstar is a weird, corny-ass language. Eighties are greasy and I prefer my shit mid colon. This is not making a lot of sense, and I have not misplaced my pills again. I don't think so.
More likely I'm just losing my mind here. So tired I can't sleep. Or so bored entertainment isn't entertaining. About a month since I turned 27. Check devrant before bed. Spicy content. Satisfaction.
Lie in bed. My code is nightmare fuel and it chases me in my dreams. Finish this feature before venturing off into the goblins cave, there is a genderfluid mustardbag cryptogargle baggle baggle at line 8 through your fucking momma; critical failure. Last night you did me so dirty soon as I ran downstairs it was thirty wide pages worth of endless turdlicking logs, the cache you flushed, unexpected EOF but no sweat it's just a bad escape\\. But I'll always be your slave keyboard monkey, bitch. Now come fix my leaks, you fuck.2
me windows user is bored, start installing linux as dual boot. ok lets code in linux. proceed to install vscode. starts coding... ok lets save. permission denied. permission denied. ok lets use these sudo fuckery. says its not recomended #warnings. start googling. got answer in alien language. fuck me, back to windows then.5
Anyone use the coffee machine as a distraction when bored and between projects ?
Just trying out the different varieties... We have this weird "Espressochock" that's basically hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, shit is weird...1
I am the responsible for the atlassian Suite at work, as I maintain the systems, set them up, and stuff.
One day, our crowd (the authentication and authorization application) just went crazy. At like lunch time it could not connect to the AD anymore. No reasons. Throwing XSRF errors (cross site scripting), because http would connect to https. "won't do it, fuck you" it told me. Out of the blue. Noone changed anything. And yea, seriously. Noone did.
It just refused to connect (as connecting to AD is connecting yourself with you own api. And refusing yourself talking to yourself). It runs behind a proxy. Therefore http/https. Well, this worked for years. But out of sudden not anymore.
Yea. Fuck you.
It was reported some hours later, at like 3pm, as people could not login to the applications using crowd as authentication and authorization server.
Tried to debug the system, where nothing was did, to make it work. At best time to fail.
First workaround: if you are logged into one of the other applications of atlassian, just refresh the site, so your SSO token gets a refresh and you are signed on again.
Then I searched more and more. And more.
But nothing worked, nothing helped.
So I addressed an emergency maintenance, take down the whole Suite, restart crowd, to apply some changes to it's settings, not knowing what happening then, because all connections of SSO will then be released. Sent out the mail like 30 minutes beforehands.
While waiting for the window, I just typed my credentials... And redid, and redid, so to type and being bored.
Three minutes before the window...
It just worked again.
Well. Wtf. Serioudl
Just came back.
No Intrusion, no changes at all. Just came back, as nothing has happened.
Kind of best part of this story... A headhunter messaged me on my way home to offer me a job as an Atlassian Suite SysAdmin for a company, at kinda the double of my salary.
At first I was thinking to go there, and when someone then asked me sth about Atlassian just start to laugh and then leave still laughing...
But then I very nicely respond that I dont want to cry at work. And wished him best luck.
I am doing some bad upgrades now on our Suite. Very painful.
And I looked into the start scripts. Some Look like the untalented intern tells another one to write scripts. Seriously wtf.
Today I followed the guide to Update a confluence and change database to Postgres. Didnt work, Postgres error.
Try it again, jquery won't load. Next try, tomcat not starting anymore. Did same thing. Every fucking time.
Yea. Maintenance window to get a nice new export soon. Will only take an hour.
To switch database in confluence, you need to set it up very fresh. And then Import your export.
Export takes an hour at our system.
Importing maybe the same time. Hope it will work (hint: Nope).
Oh, can be nice also. Just tell the Bitbucket to migrate databases, there is a fucking setting for it. Enter new database, ready, go, finished.
At least they don't raise costs very much every kinda year.
Oh sorry, yes, they do.4
Alright I'm fairly drunk and a little bored, so I'm gonna do the loose talk and origin story because why not.
I as a kid was difficult to say the least. Dad is the coolest guy, but you cross the line and he shows his temper. Like 90% of the time it's "oh hi champ c:" but then I fuck up as children do and it's like "WELL YOU LIL SHIT".
I don't blame him or momma for my shortcomings because honestly that's disgraceful. MY FAILURES are MY FAILURES. My OWN. MY PROPERTY.
But I did grow up a little self-hating you know. Because I was able to understand that something is fundamentally fucked up. I don't know what it is but I have some malice, I've always had it. Like, I get a warm feeling from stepping out of line. That's not OK.
Anyhow let's skip over some things here because primary school is a bunch of shit. I liked the SNES a lot. I wanted to know how that thing works. Whoa look at the graphics man, it's hyper realistic!
PSX has a special place in my heart too. It's fucking awesome. Glitchy as all mother fucking shit. Loved the PSX.
Also, I WAS IN THE CHESS CLUB. And I'm proud of that. I went to tourneys and shit.
Poetry was bit of a thing. Drawing was bit of a thing. I mean, divine glory, the expression. The knees bow, the tongue confesses -- the Lord of lords, the King of kings. That's Mother Love Bone for you, good band. Momma played guitar when I was little. Classical stuff, Bach and all that. I wanted to play guitar but too complex for dumb baby brain.
Teenage years are unremarkable. I did learn to play guitar though. Did busking and shit. And that's a beatiful thing, you do song and people say hey I like this guy! Here, have some money. I was 16 when I first threw all the coins I made into a bottle of cheap alcohol. Oh, yeah, you thought this wasn't gonna get dark?
One time, I almost got blown by a homeless guy. Like, I was just zoning out and didn't even realize he wanted it. Then another time, I almost fucked a model. And of course I didn't even realize that she wanted it.
Anyhoo, enough about my sexual exploits, I met my wife at a forum. Laugh at my dumbass. She was schizofrenic and suicidal maniac threatening to kill herself so I sent her a message and said dude chill just tell me about it.
Well, she replied and I replied back. This kept on going. And for the first time I started actually getting real feelies.
Now, do note that I'm okay. I mean perfectly fine given the circumstances. Not to say that I'm not sad and all but I'm still alive and I'll make most I can of it. As in, I don't feel sorry for myself, and I don't want people feeling bad for me as that would be simply degrading. So if you feel bad, don't. Just don't.
When grandpa died grandma didn't cry in front of us. THAT is strength. I LOVE and ADMIRE grandma, she was queen. Always in my heart. She and grandpa are my heroes, and I want to be like them. Honest and hardworking. What more can you ask for, you fucking idiot?
So okay, I mentioned my wife. Her name's Karin. We were not legally married but we loved each other to the bone, and that's what matters. She's with me now and she'll always be with me. GOD bless her and may heaven be good enough for her.
Look I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here, I am only left behind. I want to live with all my heart. Life is beautiful, it really is. It really is.
I want you to know that YOU are NOT alone. That I WILL be with you. That I WILL take care of you however I can. And that I will LOVE you every waking moment.
YOU are the reason. YOU are what cannot be replaced. YOU are BEAUTIFUL. And YOU deserve a chance.
DO NOT pity yourself. YOU are more than you think. And you are more LOVED than you think. Do not fall for tricks of the mind, it's all lies. We LOVE YOU, man. We'll do anything for you. Do not leave us yet, will ya please?
Where the fuck was I going even. I don't know, it doesn't matter too much. I don't fucking care. I'm still okay. I'll tear up, dust myself off and get up again. That's what champions do. That's what grandma would do, that's what momma would do.
My pain is NOTHING but MY share of YOUR pain. And I carry it GLADLY. I would do anything for you. I will follow you to the depths of the earth, if that's what you need. Us being together is all that matters, babe. I love you. I will always love you.
I shouldn't post this but I'm gonna because I don't get drunk anymore. I'm too old, not so old, but I feel old. That's fine. I accept my fate.
No fucking recollection of what I have just written but a voice in my head says alright you son of a bitch, that's enough sobbing from you.
Seriously if I went too much into the sad zone first off forgive me for that and also, doncha fucking pity me. I AM YOU, asshole. YOU could be ME, any time, any day. And if you were, I'd hug you. Much love. There's more to you than meets the eye.
I regret nothing.4
So I was bored today and I decided to jump on the “shit on Facebook for being offline“ train by posting some PROGRAMMING memes on the rest of the available social media. I didn’t repost like everyone else and everything was fine until I made the mistake to post them on imgur as well. Apparently imgur is full of toxic, sad, arrogant pricks that will downvote the shit out of anything in an instant, without really understanding the posts. If you think reviews on the app store, google play or review bombings on steam are the definitions of stupidity and ignorance or that comments on Facebook are everything wrong with this world, then you haven’t tried posting on imgur.
Seriously, fuck imgur.7