My oppo has just copied and pasted a block of code in the top of all the controllers. He swears he tested it, but theirs a semi colon missing, and and its fed the wrong object as an argument. Internal seething intensifies.

I learnt to code from a copy of "C For Dummies" from my local library.

I see lots of advice about your not learning if your not breaking things.

Breaking things is a great way to learn, and also get sacked.

Just do the best you can with what you've got.

If you're an aspiring web dev, get comfortable using the command line.

Amazing how many new starters can't restart a service or tail an error log.

I'm not saying it to be a dick, it's just 101 stuff that'll save you loads of time.

Learn to touch type, you'll save yourself hours if not days in the long run.

Q) What does Chris Eubank code in?

A) LISP

That cloud of dread that hangs over your weekend because you deployed just before five last night.

Cursing under your breath at some crufty, amateurish, slow-as-balls code... Checking the repo history to see what sad, soulless sack committed this abomination.. And its me.

Its not a battle station, its an office desk. You're going to work, not war.

If (snake_case AND camelCase)

return TRIGGERRED()

Project Managers be like "hey bruh, I just wanted to put a meeting half way through your crunch for a deadline to make sure we can meet that dead line"

I don't write code, I just parse stack overflow answers.

No matter how many books I read on design patterns, there always comes a time when you've just got to toe punt a bull of mud across the line to meet a clients needs.

Reading vim vs emacs threads and I cant live without the navigator pane in my IDE.

Netbeans is like the girl you pull at 3am in the kebab shop. You wouldn't brag about it, its bloated and bug ridden but it gets you there without having to shell out any more money.

There are 2 kinds of devs in this world, those that have learnt a joke about binary and those that are sick of hearing it.

- What IDE do you use?

- atom

- * internal screaming intensifies *

Some devs implement OOP and design patterns, some devs like copy & paste. Sure, why not. ;/

The great thing about version control is that you can seamlessly work alongside other coders through the use of dozens of diverged and cryptically named branches.

Paired programming, not even once.

Seriously, Fuck JAVA.

Why does Netbeans need 3 bloody versions of Java??

When the PM has been letting a fresh faced graduate loose on a codebase without any code reviews and you come back to some cronenburg level horror in your now crippled project. But it LOOKS like the mock ups.... * internal screaming *