Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
I have a confession to make.
I do most of my java coding in comic sans ;-;
IT MAKES ME HAPPY FOR SOME REASON
26 -
The beginning of my freelancing time. I was so naive. Didn't even used contracts...
This one client wanted a website with 2 specific features until a certain time. It should look nice, but only the features functionality was defined. All seemed reasonable at first.
I delivered 2 weeks before the deadline. The client was furious, as it didn't look like they imagined. They wrote me 8 lengthy emails with very fractioned feedback. It was becoming unreasonable.
But hey, I'm a newbie in this business. I have to make myself a name, I thought.
Oh was I naive....
This whole project went on for 2 more months. The client was unhappy with every change and 2-5 emails a day with new demands were coming in. I was changing things they wanted done 2 days ago, because they changed their mind.
Then they started to get personal. They were insulting me and even my family. My self-confidence dropped to an all-time low.
In the end I just sent them all the code for free and went to therapy.
BTW: this was also my most important experience, as things went up hill from then on. As Yoda once said: The greatest teacher, failure is.8 -
Want to read a horror story?
Number of computers
1900: 0
1950: 100
1980: 10000
1990: 1000000
2000: 1000000000
2010: 1000000000000000000
2020: 1
2030: 1
2040: 1
2050: 125 -
Story time:
I was once working on a project that dealt with incredibly sensitive financial data.
We needed a client’s database to do a migration.
They wouldn’t send it over the internet because it was too big and they didn’t think it would be secure.
They opt to send it in the post on an encrypted usb drive.
(Fair enough thinks I)
USB drive arrives.
Is indeed encrypted.
MFW there’s a post it note in the envelope with the password on.
MFW this is a billion dollar multinational petrochem company.
MFW this same company’s ‘sysadmin’ and ‘dba’ once complained because a SQL script I sent them didn’t work - they’d pasted it twice and couldn’t work this out from the fucking “table already created” error message management studio was throwing at them.3 -
I used to do some freelancing and one of the main clients I worked with had a project they hired me for that used Drupal. I fucking hated it. I thought it was bloated (and slow as fuck), unnecessarily complex, and just all around a horror to work with.
Even though that was many years ago, from other devs I've met, it seems like Drupal never really got much better. One devops guy who worked at the previous company I was at told me about some benchmarks he had done on Drupal in his previous work. The performance results he got were an absolute joke - awful concurrent performance and just a brutally slow CMS.
Needless to say, since that freelance project, I've never used Drupal again and never will.14 -
So a user reported they couldn't login to our site, so I reset their password to:
uI+ffRT7M2NAzo8uOqzf4QxO3I9tj8PJ4TS0n8zDV7I
And sent them back an email with the updated password. A few minutes later, they replied and said that password didn't work. They even tried a different web browser, etc. I tried it myself, and sure enough, it didn't work.
I spent the next several hours trying to figure out why the password didn't save properly, or why the logic didn't compare them correctly. Perhaps it was some sort of caching issue? Oh the horror.
As it turns out, the problem was a maxlength of 28 on the login form field:
<input type="password" name="password" value="" maxlength="28"/>
I don't know who wrote that code, but it sure wasn't me.20 -
One day I developed a simple website for a goldsmith who I already new for a year or so.
We discussed everything and agreed on a feature set, price and a deadline when it should be ready. Based on this we signed a contract and I started my work.
Unfortunately at the same time I lost most of my childhood friends. I moved to a new city and started to study computer science, which was awesome on the contrary.
This is where the horror began.
I was totally occupied by the studying, my partner, myself and by the shit of life.
It knocked on my door. The horror decided to pay me a visit.
"Had a look at your calendar recently? Just saying..."
Shit! The deadline came closer and closer everyday and the pile of work undone grew with it. At that point I had to do something. I don't know what it was or how I did it, but somehow I managed to finish the project just in time. I was totally not proud of it, but it featured what was required.
The day before I contacted my client, the horror knocked on my door again. He said:
"You really should have a look at your hard drive."
"Why? everything seems allright."
"Well, then look closer."
"Fuck."
"Right."
Well, there are backups at least, I thought to myself. I'll just recover the last state. That was an annoying thought, but nothing serious. That's just one or two days of w... - Wait, what? Where are my backups? What the actual fuck? Why is the zip file broken? Why doesn't the flash drive work anymore? FUUUCK!!
I was lost. It was a complete nightmare.
Each time my telephone rang the following days, my heart skipped a beat. Finally my client's name appeared on the display. I answered the call, my hands shaking.
"Hey there! I'm calling to discuss the website project with you."
"Well, about that..."
"Yeah, I know you put a huge amount of efford in it so I'm really sorry to say that I on the other hand can't effort the money. Actually I'd like to simply forget about this whole idea."
Seriously? What the fuck just happend? I suddenly noticed a sticky note infront of me reading:
"It was really fun to see you suffer, but I have to go! See ya
- The Horror"
"Hello, are you still there? Do you hear me?", yelled a voice through my phone.
"Uh, yeah. You know, that project was a lot of work and... but you know what? It was actually a pretty fun exercise and I'm doing well over here, so because it's you I'd agree."
I heared a reliefed sigh from the other end of the line.
"Really good! I owe you something! Bye!"
What. The. Fuck.14 -
My freelancing horror story?
I remember like it was yesterday. It was late at night and I was doing some freelancing. (You know... the good stuff...)
All of a sudden the light began flickering, it got really cold and I felt like something was watching me!
OMG! SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED MY SHOULDER! I TURN AROUND AND...
...nothing. Nobody was there.
"I really need some sleep", I think to myself and turn back to my monitor.
Wait a second, what's that?
"10%..."
"20%..."
"60%..."
Oh my god...
How could this happen to me?
Those bastards got me after all!
I just witnessed...
A WINDOWS UPDATE!!!
The end~
______________________________
I don't feel responsible for pants that need to be washed now.25 -
IntelliJ IDEA just saved my ass!
I tried deleting a resource file I had staged, but not commited yet.
A dialog comes up asking to delete alternative configs with "Yes" as the default.
Boom! After I braindead hit the enter key all other files vanished too!
I checked Git and saw to my horror that the files were also not tracked anymore.
I hastly lookup the last backup timestamp - an hour ago - fuuuuu!
I just lost about an hour of work.
I was about to give up and start from scratch when I look at the edit menu in my IDE.
Turns out you can actually undo multiple file deletions!
Kudos to the girls and boys at JetBrains! You saved the day! 😙8 -
"Oh haha I found out why your PC isn't turning on, you forgot to turn on the power switch!"
*flick*
25 -
in an alternate universe there exists a clientRant, where clients come together and share their horror stories of dealing with devs.6
-
Ok so my server was really dirty and slow and I got tired of it.... So I decided to give it a bath.
26 -
At my first job, I got tired of having to type a user name and password every time I debugged the web application. Thinking I was clever, I put in a hack so that if you launched the application with the query string "?user=Administrator" it would log you in as the administrator. So much typing saved!
A couple days after the next release, I realized it shipped like that. In absolute horror, I walked into my boss' office, closed the door, and told him the tale of my mistake.
He just looked back at me, and after a moment or two said, "Loose lips sink ships."
And that was it.4 -
OMFG
Waking up in the middle of the night to a strange feeling in my ear and noises. Started shaking the head, which did nothing except panicking because of intensifying scratch noises in my head.
Getting the fear to be eaten inside out.
Get the phone and call sister to get me to the doc but her phone is powered off. Starting to Google "consequences of an cockroach in your ear", reading this is not as bad as I thought and that some people do not even realize it !??
Laying down for 3 minutes in the dark, *heating up and feeling my pulse* hoping it will crawl out. Which obviously did not fucking happened, this sucker just squatted my ear.
So I go to the bathroom and start filling up the tub. While it is filling up, I Google "how to get cockroach out of your ear". Finding an article that you should pour oil in your ear to suffocate the squatter. So I go to the kitchen, grab my sunflower oil, go to the mirror and start pouring. I am starting to shine like a bodybuilder and hear the noises again. After what felt like an eternity, I hear even more scratching in my head, this is the moment I do half a headbang and *wush* *flap* something hit the ground. I look down in the hope it wasn't just the sunflower oil and see this little thing which is clearly a cockroach. I am fucking relieved, not hearing any noises anymore.26 -
A guy wanted me to convert his Unity project from Android to ios.
He was offering less than 50$....
It dosent end here....
He sent me the files in a zip on Google Drive.....
Also the project size was around 3 gb......
😢😢2 -
Me-
/ / / / / / / / /
if (bool == true)
{
bool = false;
}
if (bool == false)
{
bool = true;
}
/ / / / / / / / /
My friend-
/ / / / / / / / /
bool = !bool;
/ / / / / / / / /
*not a real story*15 -
Once I had been sick for a couple of weeks. Then came back to this abomination
Didn't make me feel any better 😨
8 -
*production is down*
Ops: At 5pm? On a Friday? *checks deploy history* God! Who did the deploy
Dev: It was a small patch, a tiny patch. It shouldn't have....
Ops: Deploy on a Friday evening?
Colleague: I didn't think it would...
Ops (on the outside) : *takes a deep breath* Its okay Dev, we can fix this. Don't worry
Me(in my mind) : for fuck sakes! Are you fucking kidding me?*** **** *** god damn it! *****9 -
When I interviewed with for an EA internship, they gave me a coding challenge after on GitHub. I tried it out and when I asked politely over email on the status of the challenge a week after, they rejected me with literally I shit you not "no :)". It wasn't even a answer to my question that makes sense. I was an underclassman so they probably didn't think it mattered that they were disrespectful to me. The lack of empathy and professionalism that truly proved to me what a toxic company they are. Any one have any horror stories like this?
I've fancied the thought of being petty enough to try for their interview again now that I've graduated and have more under my belt just to reject them with a :) but I'm not going to get down their level enough to do so5 -
Office prank time! It was some years ago when the horror movie "The Grudge" came out, with that creepy Japanese dead girl who made that horrible "aaahhhhhh" sound. A coworker, who was just as shocked by the movie as I was, would occasionally send me emails with sceenshots from that movie.
One day, I upped it. I knew he was the first in the office in the morning, so I arrived even before him. It was still dark. I put a walkie-talkie under his desk, set it to "no beep", switched off the lights again and hid two rooms away.
Sure enough, he arrived. I waited for about 10 minutes to be sure he was sitting at his desk. Then I used my walkie-talkie and "aahhhhh".
WOAH, his scream was loud even two rooms away!3 -
Story time:
At a precious employer.
Hire shit-hot contractor.
No technical test at interview stage because he’s so shit-hot.
Is a uni lecturer.
PhD in mathematics.
Me: Shit, this guy must be good!
6 months later and a tragedy of errors and clearly misspent company funds later:
Manager: can you look at what x did and merge it into the product?
Me: Sure. *looks* *yells fuck very loudly*
*walks over to manager*
“Soooo... you know those 6 months and thousands and thousands you spent? It’s all for nought. There’s barely anything there, and none of it works.”
Manager: “Shit. What are we going to do? Can you fix it?”
Me: “To be honest, it would be quicker to just do it from scratch than try to work out what he’s done and failed to do.”
Manager: “Fuck. Ok. Go for it.”
I then had to build this entire new lot of systems, a workflow system, a user management and permissions system.
I got it done inside a month or so.
For context, we (the devs) knew something was afoot when the contractor couldn’t work out why his keyboard wasn’t working (it wasn’t plugged in), and he also *really* struggled to find his way around visual studio and git.
The moral of this tale? *always always* screen your candidates. Even if they seem amazing on paper.15 -
Working on a database priorly designed and maintained by some private agency.
The fuck I'm dealing with!
Boolean values stored as 'TRUE'/'FALSE'. It's varchar, my dudes.
There are no FK relations. Just the values of IDs in a column.
There are no indexes, all on just the PKs, nothing else. Nothing.
Null, what's that? I'm dealing with 'N/A', my dudes.
Unique key, what's that? The table which stores users has all the fields nullable. Email is not unique ( even though that's the required behaviour).
ALL the numeric values are stored as varchar. Varchar, my dudes. Varchar. '1', '1.1'
And finally, the good ole, 1 table to rule them all. Normalisation, fuck that.
And what's the root cause of all this? My PM used to hand them Excel sheets she maintains on her local system. FTW. I don't have a enough explanations.7 -
I was watching this movie's trailer called Let's Be Evil, it did look promising based on the genre (Sci-Fi, Thriller, Horror) and synopsis (includes Augmented Reality (AR) tech) BUT as I soon was on this frame right here, I am not going to watch the movie now. 😂
You are making a high tech movie, at least do intend to add some realistic code snippets or scripts related to AR rather than showing some random plain HTML.
You can watch the trailer here : https://youtu.be/Nsbzf3bL4Qg
Code will appear around 0:15
6 -
I'll keep it short:
My nastiest freelancing horror stories contain shitty clients who dont pay, the nastiest fucking legacy code you can imagine, and expectations as high as trump thinks of himself.
The lesson is simple: Choose your freelancing clients wisely and always expect partial payment in advance. Even from family or firends!8 -
Oh boy.
I recently, I switched job for an open source company in Lyon, FR.
They had struggles to find me something to do (still has, tbh), so they sent me to a client of theirs, to help for a biiiiig project that's really old (created in 2001)
The thing was... Horrible. Lots of styles were set via JavaScript without condition, I found 3 different versions of jQuery, at one time they added Object oriented development in a context where they had HTML, JS, (inline) CSS and... PHP of course, inside of one PHP file. The architecture was more "uuuh these files in this directory will be about this functionality".
And it goes on forever. I told them that I hadn't the required level of PHP knowledge to have an excuse to get the fuck out of there, my company didn't like it but it was either that or my mental health.3 -
Moved into my a new house. No internet yet, and my mobile data barely connects. Real life horror story.8
-
A meeting, non-technical PM to me:
"Could you borrow me your laptop? I haven't taken mine and want to make some notes."
"Yeah sure" I said, launched some text editor and turned the laptop to her side. During this motion other colleague had chance to glance at the screen. His eyes opened wide with mix of horror and WTF look:
"What the... That's really not good idea."
Turned out I was in complete autopilot mode and pressed Win key, entered "gvim", accepted by enter.
I've launched Vim.
To a non-technical person.7 -
did you ever have to maintain a code that is so bad that it makes you physically ill to look at it? i feel like I've seen an eldritch horror16
-
Me: "So, to recap.. I'll be creating an integration between your site and [some software]. It will require [list of todos and features].. I expect this to take 4 hours over the next 2 business days."
Client: "But [referring company] said this would only take like 15 minutes.."
4 -
I'd like to see a horror movie called "Exception", where the main character experiences exceptions which should not happen according to the code's logic.11
-
Programmer one-line horror stories? A few off the top of my head:
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
'Undefined' is not a function
Unit test failed: expected '0' but got '-1'
Connection to 'localhost:8080' has been lost
Malformed JSON string at col: 46,372. Expected '}'7 -
'hey honey look what i made! It works!'
- fiance looks, error messages over error messages, program crashes, files disappear, data loss, pure horror
To this day I don't know what happened. I had to restore my project and re-write the last half hour.4 -
Right i'm building a new interview test. Short and simple, I give the potential hire a laptop with a browser open on this: http://jasonette.com/
If he / she recoils in horror, they are hired.20 -
Short horror story: a coworker of mine renamed a directory in the git repo from ABC to abc. All MacOS users found their repos completely broken after pulling the changes. They didn't know that Apple's crappy HFS+ filesystem was case-insensitive.
I have ~10 coworkers, and each of them wasted at least 1 hour manually fixing this problem. This is like not working for more than a day.
(I'm forced to use a Mac too, but I use an ext3 volume for repositories.)7 -
Finally got a new job, but it's already a horror story not even 2 hours in (making this while on break)
Everyone here is an Intern, IT? Interns, Designers? Interns, HR? Interns.
The Person who I should've worked with got fired yesterday, and now I have to work all of his shit up from 0, Documentation? Fragmental, a few things here and there, but nothing really.
IT security also doesn't exist in the slightest, there is an Excel sheet called "Master_Passwords" and every single password is in Plaintext, written out for everyone to see. (at least they used "strong" passwords)
And the place also looks run down, theres PC's, Laptops, Mics, Cables etc. lying literally everywhere no-one knows what works and what doesn't (since everyone is an intern)
Not to mention the "Server Room" is an absolute mess itself, cables hanging from literally anywhere, powerstrips are ontop of servers, each rack has like 2 or 3 2U Servers, (in a 40u Rack) and there are 10 of them!4 -
So I watched this video that tries to convince people, that the jQuery library isn't really best practice anymore and showed how you can achieve basic tasks with vanilla JS, aswell as some frameworks (Vue, React, Angualar) and how they handle interactions with the DOM.
It also talked about how nearly every JS question on SO has top answers using jQuery, and how that's a bad thing.
But what I found in the comment section of this video was pure horror: So-called "Developers" defending jQuery to the death. Of course there were some people who made some viable arguments (legacy code, quick & dirty projects), but the overwhelming majority were people making absurd claims and they seemed quit self-confident.
GOSH!
Want an example?
Look:
22 -
So I found this in the code:
Inet4Address.getByAddress (new byte[] {0x7f,0x00,0x00,0x01})
It's localhost. Why the actual fuck would you declare 127.0.0.1 as a fucking byte array!13 -
Instead of just accepting my proposal about upgrading the server - the customer I have ranted about earlier decided that it would be a good idea to try to install PHP 7.0 on a Debian 5 machine.
I feel horror when I read the bash_history3 -
I love Linux, use it almost daily
, but those windows update horror storys aren't happening when I'm using windows.
I think those days are gone, and people are just hating.27 -
The fact that this week's rant topic exists is the exact reason I never do freelance work. It always ends in horror.
I don't believe good fullstack devs exist. A good junior will assess their talents/passions and specialize to become a senior. They'll keep checking the rest of the market from the corners of their eyes and start moving when necessary. But eventually, focus and specialization is a must.
If that's true for the field of development... why would I invest time in marketing, support, sales, PR, legal?
Maybe you can earn a bit more gross income in freelance work — but I see my employer as a service provider, I "hire" them so I don't have to manage phone calls, lose sleep over court cases, play product owner or worry about getting paid.9 -
This is the state of desktop computing: When a web browser uses twice more RAM than a full virtual machine.
To be fair, I did have 5 windows with >10 tabs each, but still...
13 -
A friend of mine once showed me a really beautiful and fast login page he made.
After some time I took a look at the front-end code and realized why it was so fast... He queried the database in the JS code...
The user and pass for the database was in the HTML of the website...
I think he deployed that page...5 -
Connect a pen drive, format it successfully. Connect to a new machine to copy data and see the data exists.
Crap! which drive did I formatted :(1 -
OMG! !rant!!!!
I already ranted about the elevator at home being stoooopid for opening doors on way up when you wanna go down..
But our work elevator is awesome!
I figured today that I can play with the authorisation light with the chip for the home elevator.. so from orange to green (work card) to red (home chip) to green to red... OMG!!! Awesome!!
Also the look of horror on coworker's face was priceless (work elevators have a tendency to malfunction as it is, without me playing with them)!!! xD xD xD16 -
Manager: With all the horror stories why are we even developers?
Me: Because once we get part the horror, we become geniuses.
Manager: So what you're saying is that being a developer is like taking a crap after being constipated for three weeks?1 -
To my horror I've been asked to cover some small jobs for support whilst he's away.. First tap on my shoulder, can you look at my laptop? it's not charging...
Is it plugged in and switched on at the mains..
Yeah, I'm not silly.
It was neither plugged in or turned on.
I made the long and hard transition to DevOps, I now know it was worth it.
Rant Over1 -
Is it normal to deploy a 5.6MB main.css file?
Last week I had to change some shizzle on a website (externally developed).
Well, I was quite shocked...
We usually deploy a single stylesheet under 700 kB.
But also because we never use CSS "frameworks".30 -
Screw MySQL/MariaDB. Who the fuck thought not to document that utf8 is only 3 bytes and not unicode capable. You have to use utf8mb4 for it to work. Fuck those idiots that don't want to admit they made a mistake and put this info in a footnote on a pricy documentation piece.5
-
How’s this for a horror story? Adding a new feature to a 6,000 line and 100% undocumented stored procedure in a 20+ year old Oracle database.2
-
Sacrificed my Diwali and made a website for my first client and did not get any payment.
I was new and less confident.
Well this is my freelance horror story.
Now I fucking demand money from client UPFRONT.1 -
You always see fail2ban message:
There has been n failed attempts"
But... Have you ever thought about how many successful logins have been?2 -
Saw this popup in my feed today. Glad I've never had to deal with code like this.
Sauce: @LoganDice@mastodon.social
6 -
Have you ever looked at code you had written years or even decades ago and asked yourself either:
1) How this this even work?
2) What the hell does this do?
3) or, I can’t believe I wrote that. (In horror or serendipitously)5 -
/*************
* adds 1 to i
***************/
i = i + 1
Everyone has seen at least one comment like this.6 -
I got my first job, first work is monday
I still worrying about this job might be one of the many small shitty company horror story.
I don't know shit about working, so I decided to find out myself. Wish me luck.7 -
When you are finish doing the UI of the app then your UI/UX expert suddenly want to change everything, because he/she saw much cooler ui in the pinterest. The Horror!2
-
Just saw someone use Bing unironically as their main search engine. They have a masters in computer science.
Equal parts horrified and kinda tempted to study them like a creature7 -
Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂16 -
Security Horror Story:
A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.2 -
Today in horror stories: setting up the local dev environment for a project I'm taking over creates changes and notifications in prod.
Oh and my local dev env is somehow receiving data from actual patients. I don't know how.9 -
Wanna hear a story? The consultancy firm I work for has been hired to work on a WPF project for a big Fashion Industry giant.
We are talking of their most important project yet, the ones the "buyers" use to order them their products globally, for each of the retail stores this Fashion giant has around the world. Do you want to know what I found? Wel, come my sweet summer child.
DB: not even a single foreign key. Impossibile to understand without any priopr working experience on the application. Six "quantity" tables to keep aligned with values that will dictate the quantities to be sent to production (we are talking SKUs here: shoes, bags..)
BE: autogenerated controllers using T4 templates. Inputs directly serialized in headers. Async logging (i.e. await Logger.Error(ex)). Entities returned as response to the front end, no DTOs whatsoever.
WPF: riddled with code behind and third party components (dev express) and Business Logic that should belong to the Business Layer. No real api client, just a highly customized "Rest Helper". No error reporting or dealing with exceptions. Multiple endpoints call to get data that would be combined into one single model which happens to be the one needed by the UI. No save function: a timer checks the components for changes and autosaves them every x seconds. Saving for the most critical part occurring when switching cells or rows, often resulting in race conditions at DB level.
What do you think of this piece of shit?6 -
Amazing API's and SEX!
Alright people, now that I've got your attention, I'm getting to the point where I need to plan and roll out a solid API for a project. So after reading a lot of the horror stories written here, What are the finer points of what makes an amazing API experience to use and integrate with over a poor one?
And don't say documentation (If you do explain why) 😁11 -
That sinking feeling of horror when you are helping a student with a problem in their assignment only to see major logic errors that prove they dont actually understand what they are doing. * drinks wiskey in prep for marking *5
-
Today on forgotten movies – Chronicle.
A very grim, very dark movie about accidental superpowers discovery, but with some school-shooter vibes.
Don't you find it predictable how in regular movies a hero saves the world against all odds in the very last moment? Well, forget about it here – this movie is not "cinematic" at all, and that's what I like about it.
A horror in regular movies doesn't usually scare because the image itself is too perfect – you don't usually see the world like this. It doesn't seem real, that's the problem. By adopting the "found footage" screen language, Chronicle delivers the horror perfectly, because the world in it seems perfectly real, just like you see it through obscure youtube videos named MOV_0115 or IMG1014.
I like it that the characters actually look like real people, not like stereotypical superheroes and not even like enhanced versions of people that try to sell you an idea of what "success" looks like.
People in the movie also act real. They're weak, they're scared, they're irrational, and you really start to believe that yeah, this is what probably gonna happen when a human faces something as unbearable as superpowers discovery. And, as weird as it sounds, the superpower itself also looks totally real – raw, unpolished, uncontrollable force that requires getting used to and probably is too much for a regular human. Definitely not a perfect, tailored thing that turns anyone into Mary Sue.
Overall, this movie is the most immersive one I've ever seen. If you want to see what would really happen if you discover a superpower, this movie is for you.
4 -
TIL that Python's "everything is an object" mentality allows you to do
def some_function():
some_function.variable = "abc"
print(some_function.variable)
> abc9 -
I'm on my first free lance project, and devRant asks me for my horror story. -_-
Well, I undersold myself and gave such a stupid time estimation. Fortunately, the client was smarter, and he wants just half the work in same time period and will still gave me the same amount xD1 -
Finished my internship today, turns out I won't be getting hired because upper management is cutting back due to COVID.
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck, compared to the horror stories I've read here, it was beautiful. The work experience was super worth it though, despite the intern pay. Time to start looking for a real job I guess.2 -
My freelance horror story just happened a few weeks ago. Programming final project was due and a classmate payed me to make his project. It was something very simple so I was able to make mine and his different and functional. Grades went up yesterday; he got an A and I got a B+ 🙃 #wk861
-
(As a freelancer I was asked to do a couple of tasks on legacy code)
Let’s check this code, how bad can it be?
- all of the following: unreadable mess, no auto linting
- tests: some are there cause there’s not enough automation, others are poorly named
- frontend: somehow a genius made a react component for every variable in the store which only passes the variable to the child (wtf)
- backend: death by best practices
- ci/cd: “we have it but it’s broken”
Let’s fucking goooo 😎
Diagnosis: my therapist is getting rich
Chances to not cry tonight: close to zero
At least they pay well 🤷♂️5 -
I just love how upset the sticker looks with ThinkPad.
Thanks you guys! Your envelope managed to overcome even the horror we know as the Israeli Postal Company 👏
4 -
Why does MySql least and greatest functions return null if any of the arguments are null? Who was the genius behind the idea that it's the best way to implement it, and to change this behavior in a minor version?
Why does MySql return bigint when i convert a value to integer?
Why does MySql exist?17 -
Instructions on how to become suicidal:
- Create an API controller for the /file/ path
- Add an empty endpoint for POST /file/upload (will write it later!)
- Forget about this endpoint at some point
- Later, create a page for /file/upload
- GET /file/upload returns page
- POST /file/upload returns empty 200
Pure psychological horror for like an hour Googling why the fuck my razor page is returning empty responses and my breakpoint on OnPost is not fucking hitting even if I copy and paste example code from the ms website
Oh yeah, that controller.5 -
My freelance horror story is that I don't work freelance, but rather for a corporation where I am a faceless entity known as asset.1
-
So this i quite a big project, hundreds of files everywhere, pages are rendered using multiple files.
This is one of the latest created page, it was made by my boss, and it just give me the creeps.
I REALLY don't know how he always comes up with shit like these.
I just hate having more than 5 closing tags in sequence...
6 -
Okay it's FUCKing rant time... FUCK you prestashop!
FUCK your utterly bizarre "coding standard"
Also a big FUCK your config files, since when did config files start to include application logic, multiple includes/requires and modification of super-globals. When did I miss that memo?
This file is full of so much FUCKing horseshit, my FUCKing testicles hurt.
FUCK your "module overrides", yes let's duplicate 20-30MB senseless horror code into another folder, just so we can modify one line, without having future updates breaking our stuff.
And your attempt to migrate to a symphony stucture is FUCKing pathetic, do it properly, or don't do it at all.. FUCKtards..
I know wordpress can be bad, but this...
Prestashop takes FUCKing lousy, headache/cancer- giving, piece of crapware to the next FUCKing level.
I wouldn't even wish this FUCKing upon my worst enemy.
2 -
Boi did I forget what a horror is to deal with Wndows...
I just wanted to shutdown a laptop to replace the SSD and a wifi card. Prepared everything, clicked on the [start] and there were only "Update and *" options. Wha the hell I thought, I could spare a few minutes. It's just a software update - should not take long!
Little did I know...
That was 45 minutes ago and It's still shutting down. And I'm just sitting with that screwdrived in my hand, looking at that blue screen and waiting. I feel stupid
UPDATE: I gave up. Long-pressed the POWER button. que sera, sera, right?
Lights go out. I press POWER again to boot it back up (forgot to save smth else). And it boots up back to the "SHUTTING fucking DOWN" AGAIN!!!
18 -
Our project at work goes live in 3 weeks.
The code base has no automated tests, breaks very often, has never had any level of manual testing
will not be releasing with any form of enforced roles or permissions in our first release now due to no time to enforce, however there is a whole admin api where you can literally change anything in our database including roles.
We also have teams in various countries all working separately on the same solution using microservices with shared nuget packages and they aren't using them properly.
Our pull requests are so big - as much as, 75 file changes - in our fe app that I can't keep up with it and I honestly have no idea if it even works or not due to no automated tests and no time to manually test.
We have no testing team, or qa team of any sort.
Every request into the system has to hit a minimum of 3 different databases via 3 different microservices so 1 request = 4 requests with the load on the servers.
We don't use any file streams so everything is just shoved in the buffer on the server.
Most of the people working on the angular apps cba to learn angular, no one across 2 teams cba to learn git. We use git so they constantly face problems. The guy in charge has 0 experience in angular but makes me do things how he wants architecturally so half the patterns make no sense.
No one looks at the pull requests, they just click approve so they may as well push directly to master.
Unfinished work gets put in for pull request so we don't know if the app is in a release state since aall teams are working independently, but on the same code base.
I sat down and tested the app myself for an hour and found 25 fe only issues, and 5 breaking cross browser issues.
Most of our databases are not normalised. Most of our databases make no sense. 99% of our tables have no indexing since there is no expertise with free time to do it.
No one there understands css properly. Or javascript.
Our. Net core microservices all directly use ef in the controller actions so there is no shared code there.
Our customer facing fe app is not dry because no tests so it was decided it was better this way.
Management has no idea on code state, it seems team lead is lieing to them about things like having any level of tests.
Management hire devs that claim to be experts but then it turns out they have basically no knowledge of what they were hired to do, even don't know what json is or the framework or language they are hired for, but we just leave them to get on with it and again make prs too big to review.
Honestly I have no hope that this will go well now but I am morbidly curious to watch. I've never seen anything like the train wreck that we are about to get experience.5 -
After I graduated, I found a junior job in a company where I already knew the only dev, who has been working there for 6 years. Immediately after I signed the contract, the manager told me that the other guy was leaving the company in one month... Horror!7
-
The Nameless Game (DS) is MIND-BLOWING. Retro-cool before PS1 graphics was in every indie horror. Original control scheme. A touch of paranoia (your DS can kill you using its Wi-Fi).
7 -
I was placed at the company I work at 9 years ago and it was a college recruitment. Due to the recession in 2007,and its effects in 2008,although I graduated in 2008,my company called me only in 2009,roughly after an year of passing out. I really needed the job. After joining the firm,we were all inducted and had our official ID's and email accounts created. There was a mentor to me,who sat right across.
I was naive and had left for lunch without locking my system,only to come back and see the horror:
"Your resignation has been submitted" in bold ,as a wallpaper.
I was shocked and had lot of things in my head because earlier that week some firms had given "pink slips" and it was all over the news.
Finally,my mentor told me he did it for fun. Have never left my system unlocked ever since! -
Microsoft fucking Sharepoint.
How can software so shitty exist?
To upload an image, I need to F12 and increase the dimensions on an iframe so I can click the save button.
Have any Sharepoint horror stories to share?4 -
"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."
Said to a new team member before they embarked on a journey of pain as I took them through a huge web app made with jQuery (think: 10K lines of DOM manipulation horror), WCF, and sadness. -
In horror movies. Characters do things that they them-self know it could kill them. Like getting in basement.
As a developer we all know to never deploy code on Friday. Here we are taking the wrong turn.2 -
Imagine the horror of learning C programming with manual memory management, pointer arithmetic and without your cool utility libraries after programming for 2 years in Python just becoz it's in the fukin syllabus!!
12 -
Playing horror games
| Lights on -> cant see shit on the screen and more vulnerable to jumpscares
| Lights off -> the atmosphere of the room is generally spookier and i get scared of misc. noises
Oh well13 -
As I am not that advanced (started off as a 'jack of all trades' - huge mistake) in programming (about a bit below average), I'm just overwhelmed by knowledge of someone here, yet I am happy to know how much I can learn in next couple of years. 😀 I feel kinda stupid when I see everyone posting what programming horror or stuff they are going through and I am there be like (sometimes) - I know some of these words 😂
I am a newbie in this community (but soph. student in uni) thus I'd like to just say hi and wish everyone a good day even if things are not good at the time🤗😃💪5 -
Forgive me for I have sinned.
I feel like I need a bleach shower after having had to write these methods in my Dart codebase
11 -
No matter how hard I try it will always find its way.
Sometimes it's fun to debug sometimes it's not.
-
*opens the code of an old project still running today*
*see the horror spaghetti code*
*decide to modernize it with good code and practices learned by the years*
*can fucking decide where to start *
*réalise it is impossible *
*rewrite it from scratch in a few hours*
*be proud*
It's really rewarding to go back to old projects and give them a good hug. You réalise then you really got better5 -
Today’s my work anniversary, which also means it’s the anniversary of the day my friend Kirk got a Twitter response from Missy Elliott after he tweeted about writing a function called missyElliott that takes a data structure, flips it, and reverses it (something that may have been a crazy thing that happened once but that we as his friends tell everyone about and celebrate every year, much to his horror).
https://kirkday.club
The org we volunteer for (and that he’s a maintainer of) even went so far as to create Kirk merch (https://store.virtualcoffee.io/sear...)
6 -
So, I got an iFixIt toolkit with a gift card from xmas. Was excited to tear into my iPhone6 given that it had lasted me a long time, and not that long ago, I had the screen repaired given I didn't know how to at the time and was working stupid long hours. I haven't used the phone in about 6 months now.
Wtf.
I open the device, and immediately 2 screws and a bracket fall out of the device. The inside is filthy, and appears to have corrosion (despite the fact I've never gotten water on it, I was kinda anal with that phone).
Whoever the guy was who "fixed" my screen apparently did so in a way that involved spilling something on my phone, over torquing a screw, breaking a bracket, and the entire thing looks sketch.
All while charging over $100. I can see why he insisted on having an otterbox on the phone now, he fucked up and was worried the one screw pin wouldn't hold the screen on. Motherfucking asshole.1 -
!dev
It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..
I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..
Think I became too old for this shit.
HELP!!!7 -
Today I feel like a coding vampire, let me create a new Xamarin project and boOoOost with the code!!
*Creates a clean project, finds 1492 errors* well... f*ck it
4 -
Reading Python code written by Java programmers. I have no words to describe the horror. CamelCase everywhere...2
-
Went through changing Apple ID email. I have 💻,📱and⌚️.
Felt like that horror movie moment when protagonist tries to be stealthy but makes a noise and a huge mob of zombies turn heads all at once. For what I love apple, the simplicity, in the email changing process there is none of that.
They forced me to enter my 60 arbitrary obscure characters password on Apple Watch screen.
On the other hand I felt nostalgic. When I was using Linux this all was my day to day experience no matter the distro, and I got a Linux Foundation certificate, I contributed to Elementary. Can’t imagine the experience of a user who just switched to Linux.
Windows? I don’t want to think about that, let alone talking. You only need to know that I successfully configured a SoE setup AND active directory in ad-hoc unstable network of literally rusty old computers. And I still switched to Linux back then.4 -
Working on codebase of a 20+ year old system that the company I work for bought five years ago and in that time there’s been no refactoring, no security updates, no attempt to create automated testing (there is none), new features have just been built on the codebase with no regard for quality and it’s just spun into the horror cesspool that it is today.
I joined one year ago and I’m slowly refactoring the codebase and updating it to get it to a more modern codebase, cleaner code, faster load times and creating a ton of dev documentation so the devs in India can start getting into best practices and start producing quality code.4 -
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Whoever says that MacOS is superior or at least on par with Linux in terms of ease of maintenance -- feel free to stick a backwards pinecone up your asshole and push it down with a baseball bat with 5" nails.
The FUCK is this nightmare. You can't even start a process w/o logging in via GUI, password changes are another horror story, esp. for users who have never logged in [warning says to change keystore pass separately... Which doesn't exist...], vnc uses some proprietary protocol, ...
Seriously, even SunOS is easier to maintain, not to mention AIX, compared to this BSD nightmare of a UNIXoid....
Wtf....2 -
My first freelance dev job thing, turned out alright. For the first year though, the dev job thing became a tech support thing. Oh the horror.
-
If it's an open source project and it (shock horror) actually gets a decent userbase, expect it to suck up *way* more time than you originally intended.
-
Finally found the place where other deva can relate to the horror/fear of posting a question on StackOverflow1
-
Anyone ever had exams, where teacher tell you that if you study on said part of the course and you'll pass, then got completely blindsided on the actual exam... Oh the horror 😂6
-
Three syntax elements, pixels on screen.
By Unknown (for privacy), 2021
In this installation, the Author's desire to prove the whole world that stupidity is achievable with just 2 syntax elements is... self-evident!
Observe! The finely crafted letters composing this installation in their beauty! While the middle element is purely a distraction (one could argue it's there to be sure a critical issue doesn't happen even if the default value is already `true`), the sides of the installation reveals the true horror.
As the vision of the observer is attracted to the center, the peripheral vision sends the informations to the subconcious, making the observer slowly realize both that the Author willingly compiled `.less` files with postcss and that .less files are in the css folder, proving that stupidity is demonstrable in just two syntax elements.
A masterpiece.
-
I wasn't hired to do a dev's job (handled sales) but they asked me to help the non-HQ end with sorting transaction records (a country's worth) for an audit.
Asked HQ if they could send the data they took so I wouldn't need to request the data. We get told sure, you can have it. Waits for a month. Nothing. Apparently, they've forgotten.
Asks for data again. They churn it out in 24 hours. Badly Parsed. Apparently they just put a mask of a UI and stored all fields as one entire string (with no separators). The horror!
Ended up wasting most of a week simply fixing the parsing by brute force since we had no time.
Good news(?): We ended up training the front desk people to ending their fields with semi-colons to force backend into a possibly parsed state. -
So I get an email from college career development for a web developer & designer position.
Read into the requirements & function, I find this....
Who the fuck does put HARD CODING before CODING.. why would you even put that on the requirements. People are going to read that and find out how you run your company.
We all do some hard coding here & there but recruiters think it's a skill that comes before coding.. hard coding isn't coding hard...
They don't say company's name in email so I got suspicious.. or perhaps I thought I can be a detective lol. I was able to find out the company and looked at their Glassdoor.
Of course they have 1.6 stars.. two 1 star reviews by their employees. I can just imagine the horror working at this place lol.
Oh & the manager makes something like 110k.
3 -
yesterday I had to use a Windows VM.
Took me less than 5 minutes to remember why I'm no longer using it.
- I'm doing nothing; CPU is at 100%
- Laggy AF
- Windows Updates not only download, but also install themselves and restart my OS automatically
- right after restart it starts downloading and installing another set of updates (restarted my PC while I was away, I come back - all my work is gone. And this dumbass Windows has a popup "I want to install more updates. When should I restart?")
ooohhh the horrors3 -
worst dev tech ever for me was intel x86 assembler. I developed on motorola 68k before and i loved it. x86 was horror.1
-
mama kiki just went to two sentence horror subreddit and casually smashed those amateurs three times in a row with her writing chops
4 -
My original project has morphed and twisted to become this monster where I’ll need to learn PHP, databases, and somehow get a desktop C# app to read the remote database and execute tasks based upon times in the database. God help me.4
-
That cloud of dread that hangs over your weekend because you deployed just before five last night.2
-
I really don't understand this particular Government Department's IT Unit. They have a system and network to maintain except:
- They don't have a DBA
- They don't have a dedicated Network Engineer or Security Staff
- Zero documentation on all of the systems that they are taking care of (its all in each assigned particular staff's brain they said)
- Unsure and untested way of restoring a backup into a system
- Server passwords are too simple and only one person was holding this whole time and its to an Administrator account. No individual user account.
- System was developed by an in-house developer who is now retired and left very little documentation on its usage but nothing on how its setup.
But, the system has been up and operational for the past 20 years and no major issues whatsoever with the users using it. I mean its a super simple system setup from the looks of it.
1 App Server connected to 1 DB Server, to serve 20-30 users. But it contains millions of records (2GB worth of data dump). I'm trying to swing to them to get me on a part time work to fix these gaps.
God save them for another 20 years.3 -
What’s a really expensive MySQL Query? I need to add it to a CMS application for “research purposes”.16
-
I watched the movie 'happy deathday' today. It really isn't a horror movie but I was thinking of version control the whole time.
The point where she wakes up all the time is the master branch and the different days she experiences are different branches.3 -
i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story
"""
"hey, can you help me fix something?"
sure?
"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."
# oboi
did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers
"no"
then install them
"no"
why not?
"it doesn't need any"
why do you say that?
"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"
it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found
"shouldn't they work?"
some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases
"ok, well, where do I find them?"
do you have a model number?
"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno
gimme a few minutes
<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>
alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.
"they don't work"
# oh here we go
why not?
"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."
what version of XP are you using?
"XP Pro"
x86 or x64?
"x64"
# fucking...
ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.
"oh ok"
<User left the IRC channel.>
"""4 -
Stack Overflow is like a re-run of the Milgram experiment. Give a bunch of devs authority over their peers and watch the horror unfold.
Think I'll nip over there and ask what the best JavaScript framework is just to stir them up.4 -
I wanna rant about a freelance job but I can't. Tell me your freelancing horror stories instead :D4
-
!Not Rant
I'm so hopeful. It's actually comedic.
Short backstory catch-up. I started working with an *actual* huge firm.
And unlike my other horror experiences with huge monopoly firms, this one is actually chilled out. So different that it seems almost like a startup.
Idk how tf they preserved this dynamic but I literally like everybody in this team of twenty-ish individuals. In fact I somehow even look upto some of them.
Hope this stays up and I might be locked in for a few more years.1 -
Once I was using rsync to copy some large files from a cloud to my local machine. So right after I started it, I went out for some coffee and when I came back it was not done. And to my horror I forgot to use --progress. For people who don't know what it does is , it only shows you how much copying is done. So now after about 45 mins of copying done , I had to stop it start all over again with --progress so that I can see the progress as it completed. 🤔2
-
The C Standard Library has a Hash Table implementation, and it's a man-made horror beyond comprehension:
https://youtube.com/watch/...7 -
Welcome to ROAST YOUR BOSS BATTLE part 1
I will go first.
"Your personality is a complete horror movie with a Snapchat filter in disguise."
"If you working for heaven God will personally hire you just re-fire you for eternity."
"You are wasting resources, there are approximately 5 trees that provide you oxygen, go find them and apologies."
"Your mother should swallow you instead of giving birth to you, and this world will be less of one idiot."3 -
So... IT was fucking horrific. Just the sight of red and white makes my heart race. (It was a great movie though; if you're into horror I highly recommend watching it)
However, I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight so I'll probably just stay up all night coding and studying for my CSIII exam on Monday.
SERIOUS QUESTION: as developers, do you ever use base conversions or boolean algebra? I'm trying to figure out how what we're learning will actually apply to the real world.4 -
Spent seven hours reading source code at work yesterday. The little documentation I was able to find alternated between English and Spanish. And some of the things I saw... Straight out of a horror novel.
For example: NUMBER_2 * NUMBER_60 * NUMBER_60 * NUMBER_1000 to get the number of milliseconds in two hours.
Or this super contrived method which capped the registration age at 100, which now caps it at 102 anyways because they use hard coded values for the current year. Took me 15 minutes to find out what "fixYear" (this method) did.
No wonder I got home and crashed in bed till nearly midnight after that... I swear that was harder than a university Calc final...3 -
If y'all thought Emojicode was bad, take a look at this magnificent horror that mixes emojis and SKI combinators
https://gist.github.com/vivshaw/...6 -
Oh my God. It's my last night in Italy and I can't wait for it to end - I'm sleeping in Naples.
I only had to walk 80m from my car to my bnb, but I was so afraid for my dear life I think I have some poopoo in my pantalones.
If I don't survive this night, these of you who know where my backups are, please, continue and finish my work.
What a horrible way to end a vacation.5 -
I am going to watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show now. Is it wayyy too early, or are ALL times good times to watch it?
Please choose only 1.0000000000000001 options.7 -
I have dabbled with Linux quite a few times in the past (dual booting with Windows) and I'm looking to get into it again. Any recommendations? Any horror stories?
So far I've daily driven Ubuntu, Mint, Manjaro, and CrunchBang. KDE and Gnome are my go-to DEs.30 -
There are people I've seen myself multiple times; who quit vim/vi using Ctrl+Z . I was lucky enough to ask one person to just run "jobs". That was horrifying.
I just needed to share this somewhere ...7 -
When the PM has been letting a fresh faced graduate loose on a codebase without any code reviews and you come back to some cronenburg level horror in your now crippled project. But it LOOKS like the mock ups.... * internal screaming *
-
Behold, dev-related two sentence horror.
“I died, and all I can see and feel is this terminal.”
“'ls' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file."14 -
Books, mostly. Never completed even one though. Started with VB6 a long time ago. Just wanted to create cool stuff. Then moved onto Java. Heck, even did J2ME. **shudders with horror** Now doing Android and Python mostly.
-
Just got my new phone today. My old Huawei was acting up, so I replaced it with an island model: an Asus. Man, I have read lots and lots of horror stories about bloatware that came with the previous version of their skin, ZenUI. Their UX people must have been listening, because this phone came with fewer preinstalled apps than any phone I've ever had, and that includes a Nexus 5. And so far the only preinstalled apps I've had to disable are the default keyboard and chrome.
It's as close to AOSP as I've ever had without using a rom. I'm pretty stoked! -
1) Miss Ludum Dare 40 because you remembered it is on one day after it started.
2) See Ludum Dare 41 is this week on time.
3) Lack the time to do it.
4) Commit suicide.2 -
As a POC I removed all client specifics from a project and made it reusable. Thousands of lines of code. In a day. From a project I knew nothing about in a language I previously used only in school. And it compiled and ran in the end.
Ripping out so much useless code felt great, possibly as good as creating something new, fresh, innocent. I improved on performance and maintenability and found some errors in the process.
After a successfull POC it was time to do it properly. That was a nightmare. A horror movie you want to see through. In the end I felt even better.5 -
Didn’t touch to my arch usb install in a month (didn’t have to use it)
Ran pacman -syu.
The Internet connection is not fast, it’s been ongoing for 1 hour and will probably last for another.
i3 semicrashed, can’t close/run programs, can’t do anything.
Anyway, just wasting my time on here.
Listening to “thoughts and prayers” from grandson because of santa fe:
May their gods be with them and their families and their friends. I wish the best of recovery for the ones wounded, physically and mentally.
And for the shooter:
Take a trip to the hell of js frameworks and just stay there, 🖕you for what you did! You’re a twisted tomato burried deep in the fucking ground of sadness and horror jambled with middle fingers crooked by bullets shot from your gut and mind. -
Ok the ionic datetime component horror ended. I got it working good enough but I'm not proud of my code. The whole thing is a giant hack parsing dates to and from strings, switching locales, setting months and days and using the month as a daypicker as this fucking component does not allow me display day names in it, only month names. Such a mess... at least now I can work on the stuff that matters.
Actually though about making this open source... I reconsidered.8 -
Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question."1
-
Just had my first lesson of the course Web Development. We got an explanation of what html, css, js and php are. Nothing bad ever happened from repeating what you already know, so yeah..
But then came the horror: We need to make a website in FUCKING WORDPRESS!! I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD A FUCKING WEBSITE WITHOUT A FUCKING SHIT CMS!!
So I showed the teacher my personal website and asked if I could use and/or extend that. They loved it, but I still need to build a website using fucking wordpress!! Not even using php! No, we need to build it with the UI of wordpress.
I know that's not even hard. It's just.. WORDPRESS!!
I guess I'll just have to live with it :/2 -
horror stories from my old job: we had to ask to get the internet 'turned on' (of course only for a short period of time), you had to disable loading images, because otherwise you'd have to wait for fucking EVER til you could safely move your mouse and: Google had a massive lag when you scrolled. let me repeat that: GOOGLE. LAGGED. I didn't even know that was fucking possible! and the worst part: my old job was at a software dev company. not a shitty IT department at -I don't know- a bakery?! I mean, wtf?! and it wasn't even a start up. and they still exist! how? why?! I'm still not sure how I managed to work there for five months...1
-
!dev
Through life, I've heard some people say horror movies are bad, that they promote violence (usually religious people).
Of course I think that's pure bs, but I think I could provide one argument that is hard to deny, so here it goes, although I might go off rails at the end.
I'll preface with this: life itself is violent. Violence, the word, is mostly used to describe immoral inflictions of harm on other beings.
But you can also say that some deaths are violent by themselves too, event those that weren't caused by humans, like a disease or a natural disaster.
This would be the "visual" meaning of the word, "the way it looks", the shock of humans when observing something gruesome/violent.
That described, it's not hard to also think that technological advancements in modern western life has made such observations of violence very unfrequent for people.
And naturally, modern people get accustomed to the lack of these observations. So accustomed that when they happen they become traumatic.
Because of this, people react weirdly to death. One reaction is censoring the topic. Another reaction is trivializing it, as if it doesn't really matter.
Sometimes they can't even accept old people dying at 90, an awfully stupid reaction in my opinion.
Another interesting reaction is personifying diseases as if they were villains ruining lives intentionally.
Or at least that's what it feels until you look at them through a microscope and realize that diseases aren't more evil than bread changing flavour after toasting.
All of these irrationality and cowardice comes from low exposure to violence, and that's where horror movies balance things out.
Some diseases in the real life can put some of the worst horror movies to shame.
The human body itself is pending violence. Why? Because when you die all sort of worms eat your fucking flesh. And sometimes that happens even before you die.
We bury humans because of the diseases corpses transmit, but also because we don't like the spectacle and the aesthetics of the rotting process.
Just picture for a second bad things happening to your body, and if you feel that is making you too uncomfortable, then maybe you got too used to this too.
I think horror movies help us to remember the reality of our inminent and intrinsic violence.
In ancient times, you would live outdoors, stepping on dirt, and be very used to "bad" things happening to humans.
Nowadays, most homes are sterile clean, and it's unlikely to observe violence.
Oh, some family member is pucking blood and dying from something? Send em to a hospital, or an elderly care center. Don't need to witness that!
I understand and accept grief. What I don't understand or accept is the vilification of death, describing it as something wrong that shouldn't happen.
it almost feels like a burden, like you shouldn't die when you're young, that it's an unforgivable thing to happen.
Well thanks, society, you can't even fucking die in peace.
I would love to die (no suicide) in a mildly celebratory way, watching people around me smile. I think that would be a good ending for me.
But no. Most of my relatives would be fucking crying like the chickenshits they are, ruining it for me.
And that scares the shit out me: people usually say the scary part of dying is that they die alone.
Well that's what dying alone would mean to me: watching people cry instead of smiling at me.
When my grandma died at 80, with all the achievements she made, I considered her death a success, also considering how quick it was. And because of that I didn't mourn for too long.
In fact, I don't even consider her dead, and not because of some religious mumbo jumbo. I guess the memories are still alive in me, I don't know.
Some famous chunk of coal said once that he felt people don't believe they're gonna die. And I agree with him.
Another upside of horror movies is that they hurt nobody, which is why you can enjoy it and not get ptsd, unlink watching a snuff film.
I will also be fair and add that this might a be a cultural thing, but deep down desire for survival is a genetic thing could play a big part in this too.4 -
I once had to write a feature, which should allow the user to login and edit an appointment, which was automatically set. All the data we got, came from an incredibly unreliable API. And with incredible unreliable I mean like heisenbug-level unreliable.
The API spoke perfectly unreadable xml and was a horror to work with.
After a few weeks of me being messed with by this shit piece of an API, I finally got something which did kind of work sometimes.
Proper error handling has been added later and just before I was done, fixing all the flaws of their data management and nonsense status codes (not http status codes) which rarely correlated in at least some way with their data, our client said "scrap this, we don't want it anymore"
Many hours and effort gone, this thing worked almost perfectly. -
Interview horror show: The time I got ghosted after the first interview.
I shit you not, I waited and waited for a reply, and since they didn't give any respect, I didn't show them any back and never sent a follow-up.
Yeah, fucking clowns, I hope your company burns to the ground with that level of professionalism.6 -
A truly scary multiplayer gothic horror action RPG set in a Victorian world with a Lovecraft inspired story (already got the story written as it so happens) with multiple mutually exclusive but tightly linked story lines. That is to say you can experience only one part of the unfolding story with the player having to communicate and interact with others in the game world to discover the full horror of the world.
The world would not have instances the world would be in a state that players find it in, based on what other players had done.
I have a lot of the game mechanics thought out, but time and money... If only it were limitless...3 -
Types of fear:
1. Gross-out: you come back home and get attacked by an army of centipedes.
2. Horror: you come back home and get attacked by an alligator.
3. Terror: you come back home and realize that every single object was replaced by an exact copy.15 -
I want a horror movie with some undergraduate IT student watching coding tutorials, ending up really liking videos of a specific youtube channel.
Then, the student send a message to that creator, and they start knowing each other. After a year, the channel author invites the student to come over.
That youtube channel is called Carl H.2 -
Putting aside my ordinary moral horror for a moment I'd like to comment on rust.
I have never seen a language that seems to have very limited use that so many people make a point of pointing out their use of so proudly and I have to wonder why.24 -
Rocket League is the most ruthless program you run on Windows 10.
It hangs sometimes, so bad that the task manager can't be put on top of the window for me to be able to kill the program.
I unplugged my earphones mid game and that action was enough to set off the atom bomb that this game is.
Tried creating a new desktop and starting Task manager there. It resulted in my laptop screen resembling a horror movie. It became so scrambled.
No other option than to force restart my laptop.2 -
We use MDD!! I coined this term one night after getting frustrated and having a lot of drinks. What's that, you ask?
MAGIC DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT
It's when you're working on a not-so-recent code base and are afraid to make any changes in fear of breaking things up. You've touched some modules, and now you restrict yourself to work only on those treating all others as a blackbox. Even if something can be achieved by a small change in one of the blackboxes, you still go for multiple changes in the modules you're familiar with! Such is the horror. You start saying that those modules work by some dark magic that nobody understands! -
Can anyone explain why the Assign Issue and Resolve Issue dialogs in JIRA are modal, so that I can't look at the issue I am assigning/resolving while writing my comment and filling out all the other mandatory fields?
And if you close and reopen the dialog, all your changes are lost. Second tab it is...1 -
Started new internship last week, hired as dev but working qa till their next release goes up. See last 3 posts for some horror lmao. They... don't know how to use git but insist they do. 275MB single repo for entire angular frontend (no dependencies are pushed, few images) and "angular backend" (according to PM). Commits to master, bad commit messages, no testing except me on qa..... death
-
Anyone out there ever had to deal with WordPress in Azure? Do you have any horror stories to share? I’m working on convincing a potential BIG client to switch away from Azure and need some good examples of why it’s not as suitable for large-scale hosting and management of multiple WordPress installs as other solutions available.6
-
Since this has been trending recently, here's my six word horror story -
"I accidentally deleted the production database"2 -
I remember when i was first deciding whether to do web programming or desktop applications, i chose java/C/C++ mainly because I already had experience. Back then when i was researching web stuff it was HTML + CSS + javascript and something called jquery, ok cool seems like I can pick it up in the future. Fastforward to 2018 and i was looking to get into it, BUT holy fucking shit what a confusing minefield and cesspool of javascript horror and frameworks and bloat, wtf happened??
-
Let me try the two sentence horror thing. Here it goes:
It's getting late, and my son is yet to return from his private programming class. I looked through his laptop, and his teacher is some guy named Carl H.8 -
Talk about giving me a headache..
Mmh k, so i want to move my current domain to cloudflare.
Go to current provider, their site report a previous provider has the record but that provider says they have nothing left.
Great.
Contact current provider and they tell me to contact cloudflare, cloudflare tells me to resolve that issue with my previous provider....
Starting to feel like just dropping it and getting a new ... -
The one single time i succesfully remember my dream from the previous night it just had to be being in chased through a spooky building by this weeks sprint.2
-
Finished my job, now making a WordPress theme for a freelance project.. Ahhhh.. A good horror and a cold beer awaits me this evening..1
-
I just wanted to transfer my domain from domain operator dns to other dns provider.
Now I lost control over my domain and it redirects to those fuckers website.
I thought fuck them, this is their last fuck up so decided to transfer domains from this piece of shit provider to any other.
It turned out you need to send request using post office or visit their office by yourself to get EEC (authinfo) code
Their office is 300km away but cause it’s fucking faster and more reliable then waiting a month for their mail with fucking numbers I will go and do it next week.
Let the fucking hell begin.
I hope those motherfuckers would food poison and shit themselves into their beds till end of their fucking life.
Fuck those fuckers.6 -
Gonna be applying for college. Gonna major in programming.. I've always read the horror stories.. I hope my teachers arent retarded and dont make me use shit software..
Any advice?..3 -
Damned XAMPP doesn't want to run MySQL. Can't access phpmyadmin on local machine. Fixed localhost problems now it shows me 404! Edited all ports in config files for Apache, killed some tasks working on that port, stopped running some services - still nothing. Now found out there are some db files missing for MySQL via error log so I need to fix that plus 404 on my localhost. Don't feel like I'm close to solve all that. Half of a day wasted with no results. I need a cold shower and a gallon of coffee.1
-
everybody nags about php inconsistencies, but have you tried excel vba scripting and adressing a1 vs r1c1 notation regarding ranges and names? pure horror.2
-
Holy shit my dream last night was the best I had in years. I was basically in this open world (just real life) kinda thing that felt a lot like DayZ with the atmosphere (just no zombies). We we're a lot of friends just running about. But it was also kinda an exploration dream where I went into this bunker on the airfield (I guess) and then it was more like an action horror game where I had to shoot the most disgusting creatures. Except one monster was a cute girl (yeah I don't know). The dream then shifted to cuddling and making out with this super cute girl in bed
Oh man. This dream had it all and it was crystal clear the whole time, it was just amazing
Sorry, not sorry for reading this lol7 -
Types of horror
1. Gross-out: you come home, open the door, and a bathtub worth of corpse juice is dumped on you from the ceiling.
2. Horror: you come home, open the door, and see an ant the size of a horse staring at you.
3. Terror: you come home, open the door, and realize every single thing was replaced by an exact copy.5 -
I get that this was a small team when they developed this and there was no coding guidelines...
But, using spaces and tabs in the same file is just unacceptable!!14 -
Some Devs at work can listen do podcasts without losing focus. I wonder how they can do that. Maybe it depends?
I love those with horror stories but I always lose track of the narrative.9 -
Well, after almost a year of doing self study and what not... I decided to enroll in a bootcamp. Partially to help keep me accountable, mostly to help with networking and making contacts in the industry around me. I'm really stoked for it in spite of skepticism. They do offer guaranteed job placement if you finish the course, which was a major selling point for me. I'm curious if anyone on here has attended one? Thoughts? Success stories? Horror stories? From the research I've done, seems like you get what you put into it.
-
My internet connection is so messed up. Again certain websites are not loading on my Mac but they are loading on my phone using WiFi. I tried clearing cookies, flushing DNS cache and changing DNS servers to OpenDNS or Google DNS.
7 -
I'm easily a Digital Oceans fans, though I have heard horror stories, so I might set up a system to do regular backups.
I'm considering migrating my current server to something FreeBSD based, so I can easily do ZFS snapshots, and even code on my machine at home and just send the jail as a snapshot. Like docker, but different.4 -
Yanno, a popup that states "failure. No specific error was returned with this API call" is about as useful as "Error code: NOPE. Good luck fuckers!"
This occured after hitting the delete button for an MX record on a host that I'm migrating away from. -
Being jobless for a long time is frustrating, but when you're now in a situation where you really need a job within the month, life has become a horror story. My anxiety is off the charts. I can't even focus on learning and improving my skills. I don't have any savings to be able to afford more time.5
-
i'm bored. what video games u guys r playing.
can u suggest some very unique video game like baba is you, webbed, ...
whatever genre, but nothing horror or zombie like doom.
last game i finished and liked very much were far cry blood dragon, aoe2, saints row3 and portal 2 and it was years ago25 -
If havent post a rant in a while since i started a new job a month ago. It is a pretty chill company. Not sure if that’s because i’m working remote and almost don’t have communications or…
I have to work on this project. Appearently from 2018. It’s all php and Wordpress here. I don’t have major deal against it but this project..
I have flushed down prettier things then this piece of shit code. My god. And this is live. The horror! -
You know it's here. You know it's coming. You wait patiently in hopes you don't have to update. But it will happen. One moment you look away from your phone, the alarm goes off, and now, there's nothing you can still do.
WELCOME TO IOS 10.3 BETA 4 HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEW EMOJIS!!
1 -
I've been freelancing lately with an agency to develop an android app for their client and at the same time another person is developing the website .
The story begins when I first contacted the web dev to give me access to the database (because he started before me ).It turns out that this guy purchased an almost ready cms template with a shitty data structure that has no relations between object .This database has no primary keys , no foreign keys , no indexes ... no nothing . Adding to that the web dev refused that I rewrite a new data structure claiming that he has done a good progress on the website .
Forward couple of weeks , I managed to create the api and develop an alpha for the app and sent it to the agency manager .
This bastard told me that the website and design have changed and the app shouldn't be like that .He told me to contact the other bastard the web dev to seen what the changes are . I'm waiting for the response about the new updates and I'm praying that they'll be just minor colors updates or something not a whole concept update .
My problem here is I'm stuck with this fucking agency cuz they paid half of the payment when I started .
Damn I must learn to say no to people .1 -
How on earth is there any "sane" software (eco-)system or will it always be so crazy because as pieter hintjens might have said all this soft- and hardware is created by this social animal called human, with all it's faults and aberrations...
So it was just, that I could not print - probably because of this bug: https://bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/... - couldn't install a newer ghostscript. So I would scp my files inside an Ubuntu-VM from which I could print. Sometimes I could pdf2ps some files or transfer back the ps-file and print on my host machine, but mostly not... U n t i l today when I installed the fucking debug symbols package for ghostscript and I could just fucking print. Heisenbug, ghost error or what?1 -
I wish I could show y'all my fav youtuber, the dude's youtube name is Dross. He makes entertaining videos about horror, some of them are not legit at all, but still entertaining to watch. The issue is that they are in Spanish.
It sucks. -
Best horror quote ever
"Wtf are you ?"
"À man who wanted to be a god but changed his mind gonna be rotten shit from now on. I'm going to show people what waits for them on the other side and I will make... Despair"11 -
I overcomplicated shit yet again.
Last year we had taken over a massive project, where the main problem was an abundance of design patterns. I was (who am I kidding, I still am) a newbie, and most patterns I'd seen the very first time. By the end of it I learned what they're good for, but now I love design patterns for what they are rather than the problems they solve. I write the same horror that I saw and I know full well how terrible it is, but I Just. Can't. Stop.
What do I do?2 -
I discovered a cool little trick to wake myself up when I wouldn't stop dozing off and feeling like passing out on the floor even after emptying the coffee jar to my cup and splashing my face with cold water.
I watched horror gameplays,
Instant effect and now fully awake.
Thablnkfully human fight or flight response really puts your body on overdrive, heightens your alertness and raises oxygen levels in blood which makes you stop yawning.
Imma play or watch resident evil 7 whenever I wake up now ! Life hackzz6 -
I realize that my story made no sense so Im back to square one.
The story was suppose the playerz an option on how they want the outcome to be but I wanted it to show the horror of a straight storyline. Rip -
SHUT IT DOWN !
SHUT IT DOWN FOREVER !
APPARENTLY THE DREAM OF INSPIRING THE NEXT GENERATION TO VIEW THIS ALL AS HORROR DIDN'T SET IN DESPITE JENNIFER CONNELLY AND HER FINE TITS MAKING AN APPEARANCE AND I MADE THIS JOKE TWICE NOW !
6 -
That moment when you get started as a junior frontend and end up having to design a couple databases. I dont know shit about that. 😱 also in between I happen to become sort of unofficial IT staff in this music school. I'm confused. Not a proper rant, but just wtf? At least I'm getting money... someday. Maybe. 😲
At least I'll have my voice and piano lessons covered. 🌟2 -
!rant
I've been having this idea for a programmer's horror movie. The main villain is this dev (or maybe PM?) whose first program was "Goodbye World" instead of "Hello World", thus cursing all of his code from that moment on.
They write an artificial intelligence library but they don't document it properly so the user ends up creating an evil AI that threatens to destroy the internet.
Any ideas?3 -
MySQL tables named haphazardly, table column names in mixed cases, redundant columns and tables, the horror
-
You people do know all this added reorganized convenience in some places if left alone would have made things so easy if the other aspects hasn't been subtle acted by some fags
Less horror more function !2 -
The feeling when someone decided that it was a good idea to give all databases the same name across environments. So you have to:
drop database prod
On your MySQL prompt to restore the test environment from the latest mysqldump.
Never thought naming could be so hard...2 -
Big ass company paying me fat stacks to remake their 3 important legacy projects (hospitals, gov, big companies) into another stack.
Will require me to no-life.
Or chill local medium sized company which creates apps to help museums, education and other wholesome shit.
Feels like i need to choose the big one because "carreer" but i am haunted by all the burn-out horror stories online.
Currently on my way to the latter for my last interview with them.3 -
Anybody has an opinion on CMU for a machine learning or robotics PhD? You think they'll let me in? (I've heard horror stories from their selection process tbh)
Also, any good Canadian unis and degrees for AI/robotic combo PhDs?7 -
Found this in a shell script. Instead of just one regex, why not use grep and sed, even though you could have just done it all with sed!
IMAGE_TAG=`grep defproject project.clj | sed -e 's/^.* \"//' -e 's/\"//'`2 -
Not my co-worker, but please someone kill this guy!!
https://youtu.be/x-VmYZGPnWc
WARNING: INDENTATION HORROR AHEAD.1 -
So, some friends of mine are going to work on a horror game in Unity2019.
Does anybody have software recommendations for audio editing, shader development or such?
Any advice greatly appreciated.9 -
Reading through these horror coworker stories and getting anxious what my colleagues would say about me actually. I only started working part time 6 months ago and I definitely have a lot of moments when my questions are plain dumb. The recurring theme I see in these rants is the stubbornness to learn so to everyone reading these stories and getting self conscious stick to it :) having questions and facing problems the only way to learn something and get better. Thanks for the stories everyone.
-
I’m picturing some giant over mind
A huge cluster of computers and what is actually happening to explain the theft and stupidity that makes
The world seem like the last scene
In the movie repo
Men is they’re feeding their hungry growing baby all the pilfered videos and pictures they can and the brain was designed to be a piece of garbage like them with no regard for human life
Yep
That seems about right
Something from a sci-fi horror film mixed with the plot of that movie where all the humans were inbred morons in the future4 -
If it were possible i would make windows punish itself by playing this: https://youtu.be/th4Czv1j3F8 . But this goddamn piece of garbage software refuses to connect to my Ian-network since an hour ago. Why? I have no fucking idea. There are a switch and a repeater between the router but that never stopped wanblows before. And the devices located deeper in my network topology are fine, i also reset everything from the physical connection to "network adapters" in the UX horror they call system settings.
And i'm pretty sure it'll work again in an hour or so for no appearent reason just so this steaming pile of shit code could ruin my afternoon. -
No matter how much trickery is added
No matter how many distractions
In the end if even one person deviates
They may as well be punished
Because they likely did or enabled something wrong by trying to cause a check that distracted someone important
And a person who is caught cannot be helped by their fellows right away if at all because it associates them with the crime
Imagine the horror of one of us fully enabled catching one of them doing something horrible
The loud scream of fury the last thing they heard before the icy feeling of metal entering their body is experienced and noone could help them
Outside very specific times and places the best that could be accomplished is a temporary suspension of punishment
Eventually because of how convoluted things have become punishment will be effect
Now I want to smile
And act appropriately
Because I need to
I'm so happy
And I can't believe this is happening to me3 -
I worked for 7 hours today trying to find the bug because our BPM process wasn't working and the clients are really upset. I was pretty sure everything was correctly configured. I did around 15-20 rounds of debugging, putting and removing breakpoints in different parts of the whole project, going back to certain lines cause I might have missed a bug or maybe an error was there and I'm just not seeing it.
In the end, the only fucked up thing about it is that the table in the clients' ddbb was broken. It was considering something NULL even though it's not and the only thing I did was duplicate it and change the duplicate's name to the original name.
Those were 7 hours of wasted time, but at least I get paid for it! -
Git starts merging changes to your private personal repository is scarier than seeing someone else in the mirror in the empty room
-
The others!
Sounds like an horror movie XD
Aniway in animation the motto is "animation is concentration", but i think all work are
P.s. sorry for my bad English -
Legacy code horror story.
I had to work on code designed to identify dogs... didn't go well:
https://i.imgur.com/32IXo6Y.gifv
(Credit to reddit: https://co.reddit.com/r/...) -
Thank god somebody already had btrfs fuck up on them.
Horror stories awaiting ! Jesus.
A dd of a live filesystem causing trouble in the clone ? yeah I suppose tis to be expected.
sigh.6 -
Used to not be out of the ordinary to see a chick with rolling luggage
Then it was whores arriving
Now it's a thing of horror because you never know for sure8 -
Javascript drama is a never ending horror. I was building an app for a client that says he want reactnative and I used The Platform module without importing guess what? I never saw an error but that part of the code didn't just work and no crashes this is crazy no wonder apps built in JavaScript don't show error in dev but crashes in production javascript is just one comedy that won't cease creating unessary bugs that should not be allowed at the first place, js is just crazy in someways3
-
I know liquid-nitrogen-powered air cans heat up after getting cold during use, and boil in the process, extending use time, but do they really need to make disturbing noises that sound like a clicking creature in a horror movie???
-
Thoughts on the Elastic stack? I.e. if you have used it and regretted it, please share your horror stories. Or, if you feel that it's great, share why that's the case or how did it help your company/business/product/whatever.4
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View