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My company is like:
Boss: How long do you estimate to make a universe?
God: 14 billion years.
Boss: You have 7 days. Please reserve 1 for Q&A.7 -
PM: Can you finish this in four weeks?
Dev: yeah sure, I can finish that in four weeks
Narrator: the dev could not finish it in four weeks10 -
Me : So how's the deadlines here?
Coworker : There are none.
Me : ?
Coworker : if they are unrealistic, we push non-working code. Prod comes up with bugs, and we get a new sprint to resolve those bugs.
Me: ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯10 -
When you have a bizarre bug that you can't consistently reproduce, but you're already past your deadline.
7 -
When programming will be possible on our mobile phones and the deadlines are fast approaching. 😂😂😎
5 -
This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.
Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.7 -
"I need your help, just a small fix"
Next thing you know, you are part of another team and harassed for deadlines.3 -
So my company is hiring only amateur developers, Including me.So that they can save on budget . So we have no one to guide us and ambitious deadlines are set .9
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Hey PMs!
Fuck you!
Estimates are NOT... I repeat..they are NOT the FUCKING DEADLINES.
If you are asking for an estimate then remember, in your absolutely fucking small fucknugget brain, that it can FUCKING CHANGE!
The last thing you wanna do is grill the dev by asking them to explain in details why the change instead of trusting them. Specially when you don't understand a thing of the technology.
- Dev on whom you are shitting you asshole!18 -
I can finally play the role of my adversaries:
I will be that Client who makes unreasonable deadlines and unrealistic demands.
Let us see how the A.I. devs can keep up with me ;)2 -
1. Promise anything, everything to clients
2. Set unrealistic deadlines
3. Devs can't meet deadlines
4. Blame the devs
Anyone?8 -
When a company emails 8000 + employees asking 3 people not to be disturbed in DevOps for 3 weeks. You know those 3 people have been screwed over by unrealistic deadlines.6
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When everyone disturbs you every 15 minutes because they need help and then expect you to complete your own work to meet all the deadlines on time. FML!9
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Boss: agrees to unreasonable deadlines.
Team: misses deadlines because they're unreasonable.
Boss: "you just don't understand how important the deadline is"
He legit thinks the only reason we fall behind, is because we dont care. Not because we're doing stuff that hasn't been done before, and need to tech ourselves everything as we go.
Also, he's not a programmer, he's a salesman... and he runs the company like one too.
Anyone looking to hire a VR/AR developer?5 -
Project Managers be like "hey bruh, I just wanted to put a meeting half way through your crunch for a deadline to make sure we can meet that dead line"4
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Came to work and there ware my boss and CEO waiting there next to my place.
"Hey, you remember that you mentioned yesterday that you had a break through and the thing is finally starting to do something? We have few journalist downstairs can we show them a demo in like five minutes?"
"Ok, give me five minutes and don't click here and there otherwise it blows up."
My boss came back from presentation after ten minutes that it doesn't work, after little investigation turns out to be hw issue, replaced hardware went to the conference room and it worked.
Crazy deadlines? No, just another day at work. -
During a company wide status meeting where all product managers, architects and directors assemble:
Me: *A product architect leading a team of devs*
Directors: So are there any issues or risks you see in delivering the next build in target time for Client 1?
Me: There are too many changes in feature requirements. First they said we can use a shared NFS for storage. Now they are asking to switch over to SFTP pull mode.. blah blah..
Directors: Oh I see.. well we can support both solutions then.
Me: But the deadlin..
Directors: *ignores what I say* Will be a good marketing point for future.
Me: But there are too many regressions in integra..
Directors: *ignores what I say* We should also meet deadlines. That is the most important thing.
Me: Its not as easy as 1+1=2.. The team needs more time to..
Directors: *ignores what I say* Ok lets move on to the next point. What about Client 2?
Me:
4 -
Did you think there's a pmrant, where PM rants about us and dream about short deadlines, tamed developers and... I don't know, PM stuffs?!
Terrifying...5 -
That time I had to explain the manager (who decided and committed the deadlines) what a URL was and why we need to use a server for staging the web site.
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Ask for help, it's not a sign of weakness. I've missed way too many deadlines because I've been too prideful or overly
ambitious. -
TL;DR Client managing their own ticket is never a good idea.
So my client got access to their own ticketing system. Now instead of going the usual route, they assign the tickets directly. Sometimes going as far as editing the tickets themselves.
But the biggest issue has been the Estimated Resolution Time. This is what happened when I asked about it.
Me: So I noticed that you started including an estimated time of completion.
Client: Yeah, it's an internal thing to help us identify when things will be done and where to focus our attention.
Me: Ok, and what is this time based on? (How do you, a non-dev, can decide how long it should take?)
Client: Oh don't worry it's just an internal thing. You won't be measured against it.
Me: (Sure) Alright, I'm just letting you know that I will be changing these as necessary.
I basically ignored the conversation after this. But the fucker still gives me absurd deadlines. Seriously, what makes managers think they know how long a development should take?2 -
You're already working 60 hour weeks and your client decides to give you even more work because you're delivering and meeting all the deadlines.
5 -
To all the leaders out there: Stop doing all shit on your own! Delegate! Have fate in your colleagues!
And fuck all shitty deadlines if no lives are at stake.
Cz yours is for sure!
...or you'll end like me with a heart attack at the age of 43.
Now i'm here at a health-care-hotel (dunno what it's called in english) for 3 weeks relaxing and doing programming w/o being stressed at all. =)
14 -
Spent the last 3.5 days developing none stop for a client. Met all their additional deadlines and requirements.
It's been worrying me for for a month.
I'm now seriously happy and relieved.
3 -
Some are taking it as a holiday, others still have to meet deadlines while being quarantined.
Source: I am Programmer,I have no life.
5 -
Me when I actually complete all the goals and deadlines I set for the past week. It's a complete first, but I did it.
5 -
@dfox you said there'd be sweatshirts...it's cold as fuck here...I need a sweatshirt
*Insert some witty joke about devs never making deadlines*4 -
*Looks up from his computer and realizes that he has a self-imposed deadline to meet, but has been reading articles on "How to defeat procrastination" for the last hour.2
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Unrealistic deadlines, incompetent managers and most importantly lack of motivation in a soul sapping demoralising environment.
4 -
When your company doesn't offer free coffee and yet they still can't understand why all their deadlines run late.1
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No clients.
No managers.
No bosses (other than in-game!).
No deadlines.
I have decided. I don't wanna adult anymore. LET ME OUT!!!
#sign_out
#rage_quit3 -
Legit can't remember. I've been driven by anxiety of deadlines for so long (and also, had no real vacation) that I only can work if a deadline is approaching fast.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
devRant should place an explicit notice upon registration:
"devRant cannot be held responsible for proctrastination when you have pressing deadlines :D"
and every 20 minutes a popup saying "get back to work! it's been a while"1 -
!rant
That great moment when you can just write your code with nobody rushing you and no deadlines
8 -
I will never understand why and how my manager is able to commit deadlines with clients without having a meeting with our software development team and then he tells us to develop the features in those unrealistic deadlines.10
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Boss to client on phone: 'We'll get something to you around the middle of the week'
Boss to me (noticing my panicked look): 'Late Thursday or early Friday is the middle of the week if you count the weekend'3 -
Is it normal for your boss to sell a product when it is only half completed and pick arbitrary deadlines to demo it to potential clients?12
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SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS SCRUM, WHY DO MANAGERS KEEP USING IT, WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO MICROMANAGE AND MEET ARBITRARY DEADLINES THAT ARE TANGENTIAL TO THE MAIN PROJECT???!!!?!12
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Why the fuck do we set time based deadlines on projects/goals/sprints?
The only way to know accurately how long it would take is if you've done it before. And if you've done it before why are you coding it again?
And of course when these deadlines aren't met it's rarely the manager that gets shit; it's the devs who failed to meet a guess.47 -
2 day national holiday and i thought to myself "aaaah finally i can make up for the deadlines which im behind on!"
*spends the entir day procrastinating*3 -
My cat is preventing me from finishing some last lines of code for a school project...
She even is even worse then some clients I had in the past....
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH
9 -
Yours truly is gonna get published again (probably, most likely) but has to get their shit together and write faster because deadlines.
Send good vibes plz. I've been lazy lately.4 -
"Ability to work under pressure and work with cross functional teams to meet tight deadlines."
Nope. Nope.
Fuck the managers of whatever shithole you want to drag me to. Nope.1 -
Work out the major requirements,
Identify platform(s) and environment best suited to project,
Design and develop around core features,
Allow 6-12 weeks for scope creep and the additional BS features,
Build, test and deploy in a week or two to meet unattainable deadlines.
Spend new couple of months refactoring and fixing everything. -
Seniors: I wrote it like that because I had deadlines, you wrote it like that because you're a moron.3
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Only developer for my company. Unbelievable deadlines. Boss always coaches me to delegate work. To who?!8
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It’s so fucking ridiculous that business people that knows jack shit about programming are the ones that promise features within a specific impossible deadlines to the customers4
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Another unrealistic deadline from our non-software developer PM.
He agreed to client upon delivery of a complete system consisting of 4 micro-services in Node and 4 front-end Angular application integrated with each micro-service accordingly.
Project Delivery date is December 31. I have told him It is impossible to deliver complete solution on December 31.
Now he wants me & my team to come to office even on weekends.
What an idiot !5 -
My new favourite quote...
"I can't be the only one worried about the deadline"
By boss speakign ot my team who is expected to deliver 6-8 months worth of work in 5 weeks time...
Too bad he does not know he IS the only one worried, when you going to miss a deadline by that much when you never agreed to it in the first place, have not seen a single API and the scope is still actively changing and lets not forget we have no DevOps yet...
why the fuck would you worry...1 -
Fuck unreasonable deadlines. Just do your stuff as if you have the time of the world. Stop compromising the quality of your work and things are going to be done when they're done. Good quality stuff that's worth the wait.
I started to tell this to myself this week. For months now I took the bait that everything is urgent. And whatever crap management want has to be done yesterday. But.... Well... They pushed it too effing far.
Redo this module that took the former team about six months to finish. You have 10 days.
Well... What? Everyone is saying yes?... Everyone going full code monkey making no progress?
This is the moment I stop compromising and stop listening to your suggestions. I am going to do what I know how to do, the way I know it works, and I will not cut one corner based off your suggestions. I'm sorry, I've been dealing with this shit for too long already, and I don't want to suffer the consequences of degrading the quality of what I write anymore.5 -
My last job sucked because of ridiculous deadlines, never-ending demos with hacked together fake sites, etc...but I still get nostalgic and miss it because I worked with some really cool people.1
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My side project is distracting me from my corporate, gotta pay the bills somehow and meet these damn deadlines, project! 😫😫3
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Fuck deadlines... Here is a mandatory training that is more important even tho it is irrelevant to your role3
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I'm very tired of these impossible deadlines, it feels like as soon as one project finish, we have to rush to finish the other.
I should take some holidays.2 -
I love deadlines,
Actually I wait until the very last moment. Because I believe the older I get the smarter I will become
:-)6 -
PM pushed me to finish all of my tasks last friday because he told me we have a demo with the client this week. He even asked me to OT.
It is already fucking thursday and I am still waiting. I haven't heard any updates from our PM.
I feel pissed because I did my task crudely due to "imaginary deadlines" imposed by this son of a bitch PM. I could have written a better code if I have this week as the deadline instead.1 -
Eyyy @Elyz thanks for the ++ bomb. I'll return the favour when I'm not running face first into deadlines.2
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There are devs who are chill. Then there's me. Deadlines give me anxiety. Being responsible for the code I didn't write and being blamed for the bugs I inherited stress me out.3
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Working hard to meet crazy deadline to finish last update before new product announcement to make it look better. Our CEO blabs about new top secret product at some conference throwing away all marketing efforts up to date and putting marketing team into panic mode. Result? They moved the announcement date without discussing it with development. Result? Our efforts and overtimes wasted and we are announcing product before it is ready. End result? I'm pissed so I wrote angry e-mail to our CEO. Wondering what will happen now :-) But with unfinished announced product and crazy deadlines they need me a lot more than I need them.
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Only in a parallel universe would a boss be understanding about coding and realistic about deadlines2
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Internship is over. Nothing to rant about. Doing some personal projects to learn with open deadlines. I don't wanna look for a job before Ramadan.1
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It may be shocking to you if you are involved in management but actually pressuring people to meet arbitrary deadlines is not an effective way to improve productivity5
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Battling impossible project deadlines and maintaining a work life balance. Estimating projects properly.1
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Exactly when I do NOT need to be doing updates because system stability is critical to meeting deadlines, suddenly...
5 -
Client: Can you give me an estimate of how long this change will take?
Me: (meets with other devs for a good estimate, around 2.5 weeks, and gives to client)
Client: Great. Oh by the way we have a one week deadline.1 -
I fucking hate pulling overtime because of deadlines. Already 4 hours overtime this week. Private life: zero.
Frustrated!10 -
I have fuckloads to finish... deadlines due to last week... and im so screwed to a point that I cant work on anything. It's pointless.3
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Colleagues at my part-time job:
"You study programming right? Amazing we've got this great app idea, we'd love to see a finished product in 2 months"
Me: "..."3 -
Sometimes I feel like I have to hire a boss for myself. I would tell what shall I work on, and his job would be schedule my time and make deadlines.9
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Tuesday: 10 hour day. Wednesday: 12 hour day. Today: 14 hour day. I refuse to let tomorrow go beyond 8 or someone is getting yelled at. So tied.1
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The day a manager understand the link between short deadlines and amount of bugs, there will be celebrations across the world1
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Today my boss decided that he wanted to manage his project properly. After a year he gave us deadlines (we still had deadlines but usually we did not know them). I open the xlsx file (yeah... xlsx) and I see the date of today as deadline. Well, at least it won't be a surprise this time.2
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(I am talking about my school’s promotional project, look at my rants for reference)
Deadlines were insane and I had nothing to do about it. Had to touch JavaScript for the first time in 3 years and code like I still know it by heart.
In short: H.E.L.L. It stands for:
H oh
E god
L never
L again6 -
I hate tight deadlines, I'm frustrated, can't sleep, feels like I'm chained to the desk..
Up until I remember doing a 2 months work in a single friggin week, it's a one poisoned chalice 😓
1 -
Me: "when do you need this for?"
Them: "yesterday!hahahahahahhah"
Me: " :| Never heard that one before"1 -
I was given 6 whole months to rewrite some old monolithic web app exactly 5 months ago today. Now I have to show my boss the progress I've made. How do I explain him that I wasted my time in this order:
1.- heavy procrastination
2.- try new frameworks to work with, pick one, start writing the app, regret and start over again using a different framework.
3.- devrant
4.- existencial crisis and self doubt.
Now all I have are a bunch of incomplete buggy modules and a mental breakdown.8 -
Once in a meeting, a customer tell me he can do the entire system for 400 BRL using a python script, in one month.
Yes, a entire ecosystem, 3 enterprises, a multicloud network and microservices distributed.5 -
Demo Driven Development
Now let's hit some deadlines, add the tests later, and the technical debt will probably just be somebody else's problem. -
We just found out that refactoring our code -base is no longer optimal for the health of the company because our deadlines are too tight. We'll get back to refactoring in a year.1
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That moment you realise you have to quit that feature you've been working on because the due date is around the corner😣😠
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Bad habit?
Procrastinating important tasks because they're not fun, then stressing right before my deadlines..2 -
So stress is back on. Justed wanted to work. Computer crashed.
Deadlines with Windows 10 isn’t a good combo. Booting takes between 15 and 30 minutes ofcourse. Site needs to go live monday.
Joy...5 -
Hmm... Okay crazy deadlines. We hacked together a really makeshift application to handle streaming content to end users. The proof of concept was demonstrated to a partner company on a Wednesday. They said they wanted it on Saturday. Our CTO agreed. We didn't sleep.2
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It is really frustrating when you have deadlines to meet,and need to fix issues with the tools instead of actively produce something. A whole day lost.4
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Any dev who is asked to give “deadlines” then cried about how it’s “waterfall” and you cannot produce business requirement deadlines in agile methodology needs to stop being dependent on terminology and learn that part of programming is proper estimation.
Milestones, business deadlines and agile can go-exist. Anyone who says they don’t, then cries “waterfall” when asked to produce deadlines greater than 4 weeks out, please never work with me11 -
I have so much work to get done I don't even know where to start anymore. I've got 6 sites in development, 20 sites with continuing maintenance, and I'm in charge of everything IT in my office.
Today I asked if the other developer on our team could help out and take a few maintenance clients off my hands so I could work on getting builds done.
We called a team meeting where I explained my workload and pointed out that in order to make the deadline of next week on two of these builds our other developer is going to have to help out with some of the work on my plate.
Other dev: Well I've already got 3 sites that still need maintenance this month and I'm still working on $client site.
Me: Ok well today is only the 3rd so you have all month to do the maintenance on those sites, these two have to be online next week and I still have 100 hours of work to do between the two of them.
Me to CTO: can I get some backup here? Or can we hire me a monkey (my term for interns) for a couple weeks so I can focus on building?
CTO: We'll have to talk about that at our meeting next week. In the mean time, just do what you can to get the sites done and let me know if you think we aren't going to make the deadlines.
Me: That's what this conversation is, I'm telling you now, and I've been telling you for 3 weeks that we were getting close to my limit for my workload. We have approximately 175 work hours in a month, maintenance contracts alone accounts for 120 of those hours.
CTO: Alright, well if after Monday you don't think you're going to make the deadline (Thursday), then we'll see if we can find a solution.
Fuck this shit, I get paid the same whether the client is happy or not, I get paid the same whether we reach the deadline or not. I asked that salespeople stop making deadline promises before developers get to look at the scope but that's not the way we do things here. At least one of these sites is not going to be online Thursday, probably both.2 -
(I am attending Uni)
I have reached a point in my life where exams are the least source of stress possible on this planet.
Someone help me with these deadlines please!3 -
I gave a 2 day estimate to the managers once, and a 10 minute estimate to my peers.
The server side code went smoothly. Couple of minutes, done.
Then I remembered the front end was written under a tight deadline....
Imagine controlling state with jquery, except the state is in html slightly differently to hints in javascript, and there are 7 points of state control, and they have to be triggered in the right order because a few of them depend on everything else, and if you change the wrong line the computer starts pouring smoke everywhere and WHY THE HELL DID I NOT REWRITE IT!1 -
Close all internet shops tabs, find yourself a nice chill music like Erykah Badu or some ASMR record, measure your time (I use toggl) and have your tasks for today well planned. And set yourself deadlines. Short deadlines. When you fail to fit in one, you get to punish yourself in a mild way. When you do your tasks on time you get candy :D or some other shit like a good coffee or go out somewhere
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Everyone around me is running like crazy to deliver a project on time (the day after tomorrow) and I am sitting quietly trying to reply an e-mail of my project manager in french...
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Aaaah FUUUUUUCK!!!!!
As if I had nothing better to not nor deadlines I went on a mission to tweek my i3-wm installation with resulted in lightdm not starting... FML7 -
Someone : this is not critical, if you have more important task or deadlines, prioritize it first.
Me : doing my more important task/deadlines
Someone, chatting me every hour : Is it ready? I need to submit it ASAP!!!!
What a pain in the ass!!!! -
Oh gee thanks Windows. I don't have any deadlines and would looovvveee to watch a loading spinner for an hour!
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I work at a small company (less than 10 developers). We tried to do code review but all of our projects are "work for hire" for our clients and we always have deadlines. Code review step always had the least priority and whenever the deadline gets closer, we would stop doing code review all together.
Finally we are starting our own projects and we are planning on hiring more developers and interns. I think code review will have a higher priority now.1 -
My biggest bad habit (for now!) is rushing changes. I have no real deadlines, yet I rush commits and cause failures in our CI tool every week1
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"agile" teams, changing scope, unrealistic deadlines, non-tech PMs...
So much fits into this category.2 -
I often struggle with procrastination, finding myself getting lost in TikTok and YouTube shorts for hours on end or even staying in bed doing nothing, even when I have important deadlines to meet.
Have you attempted to overcome procrastination before? If so, what approaches have you found effective, and which have not worked for you?6 -
I work really well under pressure.
Sometimes I'll be really lazy on a project until the deadlines get tight and I need to go into overdrive.1 -
Inherited a trainwreck of a site with multiple CSS files. The deadline for changes was BS. No time to remove unused rules, so I left a sorry note for the next dev.3
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I fucked up my sleeping schedule and I don't think I'll be able to fix it... just as the code I was trying to do because of deadlines on sunday and monday.5
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At a startup company I fear that every day when I fail to meet our over ambitious deadlines given to customers.
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Development planning:
Expectation:
Gather the requirements then estimate the deadline.
What are clients did:
Here is the deadline, then here are the requirements that we must squeeze into it.1 -
Unfeasible deadlines eat motivation.
I'm wondering how many such deadlines it needs until I'm incapable of doing anything.2 -
Setting the deadlines according to the hours I actually think it's going to take to finish a project
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I'm proof that deadlines motivate. Ruined the grub2 installation on my Ubuntu install and told myself I'd have it fixed in an hour or less. It's fixed now with 3 minutes to go 😅1
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sport event bookingapp for android, ios and blackberry. 3 weeks. we finished. client wasnt happy with the colors and sued us and we won. I left the company because of that bs deadlines.2
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Me after my Mac decided to run two unkillable mystery httpd processes on port 80 when I’m just trying to meet deadlines using MAMP for local dev but it no longer works.
2 -
I have my first real deadline at a company. Yesterday. I hate deadlines :( At university I only affect me when missing deadlines. At a company, the whole teams gets affected.4
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Hi guys, do you recommend any useful app for the home administration? For example, to keep track of deadlines, bills, shopping (for this I use Bring!), for filing tax documents ...5
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What possesses executives to create these ridiculous deadlines? They have no idea what's involved in the process of developing their application. In fact nobody does. So what we set deadlines first and figure out what we have to do second ? Does that make sense ?
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Some people are plain worse than a windows update.
Please overcommunicate! And ask questions. Assumptions are leading to nothing but overwork in a project where there are 8 devs contributing on a single codebase.2 -
I saw one of my coworkers do a multi step bus ticket purchase in one file (we use angular 4) instead of using components he just hide and show the sections, resulting in a class that have about 2000 lines of code, unused variables, unused functions o just functions that console.log something, and many many lines of declaring variables. I tried to fix that, but this crazy deadlines were fucking with me3
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Genuine problem, not a rant
Started a new frontend developer/designer/graphic designer job recently. I feel technically capable, no problem there. Just noticing a pattern of repeatedly missing deadlines.
Its a very busy office, with various people all coming to me with things they need me to do. Never worked in an environment so busy before.
Doesn't help that they force me to manage my tasks by spreadsheets, communication by email, deployment by filezilla and no version control, but not convinced I'd still meet deadlines if I had a better setup.3 -
So Thursday our first beta client is supposed to go live. Tomorrow there is a team meeting to discuss the status. Team lead wasn't in at work last Thursday and Friday and gave me his work to finish, which I need to proceed with mine. I hardly made progress on it. So now I have to tell him about that tomorrow. And I'm dreading it so hard. More so because for some reason HR/support sits in on our meetings and will be on my ass again I'm not meeting deadlines. I did say last week it looked like it wouldn't be done in time but I was told it just needs to happen because the release date was already announced. So yeah the coming week is going to suck. And I'm on leave myself this coming Friday so I expect people to explode. I know I should just stop caring and get on with job searching but the whole injustice of being set up for failure by others and then being blamed really makes me mad.3
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Been a team lead for a few years now but it seems that my job now seems to be chasing team members for estimates and deadlines 😡
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My Office Sucks. They give me impossible deadlines, and never properly test my code. And when it breaks in the production, they blame me.5
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Programming Lesson #7
TLDR: Beating deadlines is difficult
Long version:
There is no easy way to give an estimation or deadline for a particular development task. Sometimes it takes a lot less or often a lot more time to finish a task than estimated deadlines and that's totally fine. Just make sure you have a manager/senior mentor who is well aware of this fact and doesn't scrutinize you regularly for missing deadlines.
I am going to make sure that when I get into a senior management position, I would show understanding and empathy towards my juniors similar to how my seniors show to me currently when I miss deadlines.4 -
Receiving a task from PM to be fulfilled two weeks before the deadline ends.
Days until deadlines end: 4 - thanks for stealing my holiday -
Rant here... Consistent daily Mob or pair pair programming is for noobs, non-competent programmers that delay deadlines and cannot hold their own in corporate development environments5
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A place where you can evolve your skills, competitive and that you're respected.
And NO FREAKING CLUELESS PROJECT MANAGERS that do not understand how software is "born" and expect you to catch insane deadlines... -
*not being the project manager*
*but of course being asked out when it comes to responsibillity for overdue deadlines*
#we don't know why we aren't finished yet, ask the dev -
Reading 'The Practicing Mind' by Thomas Sterner right now. Must read for devs with stress and deadlines :)
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Waterfall.
I string dislike the waterfall methodology and much prefer agile or scrum. And it's incredibly difficult that upper management only understands waterfall while claiming to know agile.
Meanwhile they want things completed by deadlines that are only possible with an agile approach. So you have a mishmash of upper management running waterfall with impossible deadlines and developers trying to meet those deadlines running in agile.
Anyone else have this problem? -
Told client in review meeting with missing PM (vacation) that the live release of their new website for the end of may is very optimistic and we probably should target a later date due to more change and feature requests.
1.5 weeks pass and the clients sends updated requests and also their new launch date: 18th if May.
Yeah sure also write your emails to the PM that is on vacation - like you’ve been informed of several times.
When deadlines get even shorter, I really envy not-agency people.2 -
The stress that comes from meeting deadlines, and always trying to keep the behavior/logic of what your working on straight.
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I thought that if I work for a manager that is a developer as well, I would start getting deadlines that make sense for the project...
Well, now I know that it was just a thought.. guess that It doesn't exist2 -
Soo, lets talk about deadlines and how often I come in trouble when there is one near. This week I have (had) three. So I had a lot of problems this week.
But, after all today was a really good day.
I deleted an production database, fucked up my laravel migrations and tomorrow we have to deploy another application. The app is still in development and the site isn´t finished yet.
Friday I need to launch another webapplication. Because I don't want to deploy webapps and apps on friday and I go snowboarding next week, I somehow convinced my client to launch it next week. He agreed with me, so that's a burden off my shoulder. And I'll have an extra day for fixing the last bugs.
Today I worked really hard and almost finished the last application. So I think after all I'll somehow manage it.1 -
Just when I think I have finished all tasks for implementing a feature, there comes along the way a set of additional subtasks blowing the estimated deadlines by a pretty long shot.
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For those of you that don't know what "Hofstadter's law" look it up it's perfect, and the best reason to tell a client double the amount of time it should take!
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Do you guys waste a lot of time at work on purpose or is it to precious? Like strict deadlines, boss coming to check if you are working?5
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Cold-brewed yerba mate, iced brewed crio bru, Adderall, duck.
I believe I have everything that I need to hit those deadlines before break.
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It's been a few months I became a freelancer, the cool thing is I still have no sleep but this time it's not for deadlines! ... XD
It's for ...
You complete the rant !2 -
Recently I've noticed that a lot of projects that I get assigned to have some ridiculous timelines/deadlines whilst other projects seem to have all the time in the world. Why can't I ever have that kind of breathing space?
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Freaking deadlines. I just hate them. There's something evil about thinking that you can forecast the future perfectly and even more evil if deadlines are by just eyeballing the problem. I can rant ask day about freaking deadlines.
The emotional consequences of missing a deadlines are a sure way to have everyone feeling guilty. To me is one of the most obnoxious ways of gaslighting.
The name itself, think about it? Why aren't they called Targets? Why freaking deadlines????1 -
Fun things ... Deadlines be pressing ... And here is this invitation to create a team mascot 🧐 like really? What do you want?6
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I was just tasked with building a full e-commerce site in a week...so they want me to just put PrestaShop on a site and buy a template? Cause that’s now what I do I actually build my stuff from scratch and sorry but it’s gonna take a little more than a week.
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When your manager moves the deadline of your project from the end of the year, to the end of October.2
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Very fast deadlines. Even if how good you are. If they gave your team lots of tasks with a short deadline, it is very hard. You'll get sick.1
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Broke my leg in 4 places on Friday and the biggest thing stressing me out is not being in work. What’s going to happen with all my project deadlines2
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Happy New year to all my fellow devs. I hope that this year brings you easy to fix bugs and no harsh deadlines
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I'd heard about Project Managers being overpromising and dishing out short deadlines but we just got one dumped on us by a fellow developer for something our startup and theirs agreed to work on...
We gotta remake two fully function admin dashboards and the company's app on top of having our own startup shit to work on.
Kill me. -
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
--- Douglas Adams
Work in the team goes
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Work in the teams goes
whoosh whoosh whoosh
Although the sprint
-- me
Reference
Rhyme - wheels on the bus goes
Quote - https://goodreads.com/author/... -
We regularly have deadlines set before they've worked out anything about what's in the release, and business takes their time, so we're literally told "we don't know what business is going to want, but we have to start coding now to meet the deadline"
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Last week of the school project, I'm one of the few programmers. All of a sudden the floodgates open and everyone needs help. Where were they when I had all the time in the world?
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Create your own deadlines.
With your deadline, you work more hard and if you end early, you get that free time (or you have time for emergencies).1 -
Inhuman deadlines imposed by non-programmers... don't know what feels worst: the shame of my own present code, or the fear of my own future bugs.
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Unrealistic deadlines, and my dev environment is lagging so bad I can barely type. I can't work like this!
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Hey, glad you are here (10 am), you know that we got new prototypes with those various changes? We need to send one to CEO in hour and half, he wants to show off at some event, can you make it?
Well that's the way to start a day... -
Happy new year to all you devs out there. May your coffee stay hot and your deadlines always be far away.
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I either underestimate or overestimate my deadlines...There hasn't been a single time when I have stated deadline in a standup for a feature and finished it on that day...It's either days before deadline or mostly few days or even weeks past it😓4
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By the time being I should be smarter to not issue any deadlines on Friday anymore. I always end up doing nightshift that day
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I wished to not procrastinate
God gave me a life so busy I don't have time to.
(3 internship deadlines in 10 days, 2 colg project deadlines and 2 hackathons next week)3 -
That moment when you have 2 deadlines approaching for 2 projects and then your client gives you another project with higher priority.
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Something that provides for my SO and I, pushes me to learn more, has realistic deadlines, and uses modern technologies with good standards.
Plus, the standards use tabs, not spaces 😜2 -
project time is a tough time (especially deadlines!).
but project time is learning time and a growth time.
so it doesn't discourage me! -
We need to go live by this month 10.
Yep, infra is ready in production. You can push the events and see the results right away.
PM: Wow, great. Setup staging we need to test it.
Me: FML, staging machines are smaller, can't even start the program.1 -
One of the most difficult things to cope with in development is to stop, stay calm and think clearly when deadlines are breathing down your neck.4
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Friday morning's meeting:
CTO: Ok guys, deadline is next Friday so today we close the last big issues and next week no more new features, only bug fixing.
Monday morning's meeting:
Business: So here is the new mock-up for the search feature (basically they changed the whole behavior).
😐1 -
deadlines and digitalocean can suck my kiss. if deadlines are made by not talking to developer and digitalocean with its ssh stuff. figuring that out for 2-3 hours with new keys resetting passwords online console. then switched to freaking heroku, was up in 5 minutes
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People selling and buying $30k projects and wondering why the site/application is so simple and shitty.
How about realizing things take time and you, the client, are a core part in the implementation team. You are bound by deadlines as well.
Don't you come knocking on our door demanding explanations when you can't produce materials on an agreed upon deadline. -
I'm searching a user friendly calendar app to use on my smartphone and on my wife's smartphone. The goal is share dates and deadlines.
Any suggestions?2 -
Why do TPMs and non tech people ask for hard deadlines without knowing any technical details about how will it be implemented or how deep it is.
Then blaming you for giving wrong deadlines when it doesn't complete before the deadline for any reason whatsoever
🤯🤯🤯2 -
Stayed up all night to work up till 4am on a weekday to finish off some work stuff. Still, got told the next day you're exceeding deadlines smh.6
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When you get work assigned to you. Are you asked for how long it will take you to complete the work or does your manager give you a deadline to complete the work? Note: Manager was a senior developer but now a manager so he states he knows how long it might take and sets deadlines.8
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Read, think about the problem, ponder some more and procrastinate.
Deadlines are my best productivity hack. -
Creating a new class to help implement a new feature. Start with my tests (going full TDD).
Feature gets more urgency given to it, write slightly less tests as deadline approaches (half TDD).
Out of time, any future tests are burnt (no TDD) as I frantically wrap up the class with not even the time to write down a plan, it's live coding at this point. -
Does rapid application development methodology leads to more technical debt compare to other ones? With a factor like deadlines, a small number of team etc? 🤔
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Just got messaged by my superior that one of the stores went down so we we're launching our custom one today. That's great considering that there is enough work in there to last us for 3 months and it cannot be avoided since we've already been pushing for the most M of the MVPs
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I hate it when I'm knee deep in projects that need to be done before the new CI strategy starts two avoid a three week long full test every two weeks and then my dear boss comes up with having me do the planning for the next testphase while my coworker is scrolling through 9gag. I mean, sorry old man but either I automate this monstrosity of thirty million layers of 'naturally grown', ill documented, identifier lackimg piece of shit or I can do the fucking schedule. My mother isn't an octopus, i've got only two arms...
Tl;dr: Why do non programmers always heavily underestimate the time shit needs to get done? -
So my company isn't that fully fledged in development and now I keep seeing deadlines being pushed forward even though we're already fully loaded with tasks...
I kept mentioning that risk management would be handy but only after the recent shifts in progress delays they are like "hey hear my great idea about risk management!" *facepalm*
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