Boyfriend and I decided to take on a simple Raspberry Pi project as an extra curricular thing to do before uni starts. He claims that I'm better at this sorta stuff than him, so I end up with the Pi for most of the week, but have immense trouble getting what we want to work.
I give up and pass it off to him to have a go when he's home. Few hours later he gets all the things I couldn't get done. I'm a mix of frustrated and relieved.
Unrelated, probably gonna wife that man

In my office, when a dev gets too talkative he/she gets boxed in and pretty much told to shut the hell up. 😂 #DevTimeout #LessFlapsMoreTaps

Fuck you devrant, pseudo funny remotely devrelated things get more upvotes than juicy outbursts of rage

motivation bump

"I can't check the time because my watch is doing a software update"

Source - Facebook

when the customer says: "we want this but better and cheaper"

Just found the Band okGo... Their music videos are... THE BEST

AWS sent us notification saying our EC2 instance is about to be retired due to hardware degradation and scheduled for 22nd Feb.
Problem is... They've already pulled the plug to the instance without warning....
So here I am, trying to get the server back online after 4 beers....

I'm really glad my parent knew the importance of computers. They bought my brother a PC in 2000 and we got the chance to learn a great deal of things. I remember those times with a grin on my face. Probably the happiest years of my life. :)

People are fucking idiots. Had agreed to a meeting on Monday morning at 9 with some generic startup. Agreed to listen to their pitch after they had bugged me with hundred phonecalls and emails. It happened that my kid got sick during the previous night and this being the only meeting I decided to work from home and stay with the kid. I sent an email at 2am as apologizing, canceling the meeting and proposing a new time for another day this week.

Well at 9am I get a call from reception that my guests have arrived. I call the contact and she's angry at me that I didn't show. When I asked about the email she snaps at me: I don't have time to read emails on Monday mornings.

Well I don't give a flying fuck about your shitty pitch. Go fucking peddle your shit somewhere else if you can't handle your affairs and start snapping at me. FUCK.

This movie is gonna take forever 😝

Don't bother w/ commenting, comitting etc. It just distracts and slows you down.

10h of Darude - Sandstorm

Stop reading articles on which framework/library is better, pick one and start actually writing code.

... Only to then discover that this library is utterly broken and/or undocumented and you have to start over again.
GODDAMNIT JS I HATE YOUR ASS

Just spent 10 minutes debugging because
' “ " and ' " ' are different things.
*sigh

Bill gates found a bottle in his garden.
He decided to rub it thrice (whyever) and a geany surged.

Bill gates: h.. He.. Hello?
Geany : hi, im willing to give you one wish as you saved me
Bill gates: I WANT WORLD PEACE, HERE IS THE MAP WITH ALL THE WARS ON THE WORLD!!
Geany: thats impossible. Other wishes?
Bill gates: fix every bug in windows vista!
Geany: gimme that world map

Wikihow is wrong.
I need my sustenance.
How else am i suppose to make code.

I started hearing about Git about a few years ago (I think I was in the first or second class of my study, am in the fifth now). I understood the concept but found it really hard to work with, as in, so hard that I just didn't use it. It kept coming back again and again and a few months ago I thought: Fuck it.

What is one thing that a lot of devs are good at? Automation, exactly. So, I had a GitLab account (idc about their recent fuckup, will keep using it) and had to keep asking people to set stuff up for me.

I started to do research and stumbled upon the empty repo page from GitLab which provided clear instructions on how to locally do stuff so I could interact with a remote repository. Then I started to bash script.

After one day, I had a fully working bash script which, with just two parameters, initiates a new repo, clones it locally, creates a README.MD and commits + pushes it.
Then I put it as executable in the /usr/bin.

So now, whenever I start a new project, I just have to create a directory, go into that directory and call a command with two parameters and I'm good to go!

Actually pretty proud of that, although it might be the most usual thing for a lot of peoples, I wrote a workaround/automation thingy for the thing I find the hardest in development :).

using 21 js files (most are jquery based) and some 17 or so css files for a simple static one pager,
the only dynamic part is a filtered list of images,
big fuck you to whoever wrote this shit

So I just told my manager that I want to resign my job.

I have decided to accept the offer from a German software company. First time working overseas, full of uncertainty.

I don't know I am excited or nervous now.

Many, many years ago, Apple had this software you could install which allowed you to take full control of someone else's machine. Well, my mate who was a designer worked in a different office downstairs. I was often in their fixing stupid shit problems. While he was out on lunch, i installed and configured the software on his mac. After lunch I went back upstairs and watched his every move on my mac. He was in adobe inDesign creating some design for a brochure. He was in a text box changing the heading, i seized the opportunity and took control typing in the text box "i am a useless cunt", pissing myself, I then selected the text and increased the size and made it bold... then the phone rang.

Best prank I did to a office must be that one I did when I was 7 years old:

> Sat at a schoolcomputer and explored stuff
> Found alot of network printers
> Found one called "city hall front desk"
> Created a word-document with the biggest font possible
> Wrote "Dick"
> 2000 pages of the word "dick"
> Print 2000 copies

> Did the same to a kindergarten and a "rival school"
> Never got caught because I used my teachers novell account ( the password was his name)

I miss novell

There is this salesman right across from me that always brags about how rich his parents are and how lucky us tech guys are for having such an easy job. He told me one day that he was going to quit and make his own software company currently having no developing experience at all because "I've seen some of these developers. If those guys can do it, it'll be a breeze." I convinced him that the best language to learn in order to make your own websites/apps is Linux command line. Hilariously enough, the other 2 devs heard me say that and when Glenn the sales douche followed up with them one of them told him "Yeah, If you think you're really going to be quick with it then Linux will be your best bet, but if you have trouble just learn C++ instead and you'll still be able to make websites." Best of luck on your new Venture, you spoiled jizz stain.

One time my co-worker put a tiny piece of tape inside the USB receiver of my mouse which apparently makes any USB device stop working. It took me a while to figure out why my damn mouse wasn't working even though everything was properly plugged in and it had new batteries.

When I found the tiny piece of tape I was instantly knew who it was and it was pretty funny.

The marketing department is right next door to my office, and to make room for their new intern, a very high end, large, and noisy printer was 'temporarily' placed in my office. I'm a reasonable person though, and didn't mind this. The salespeople figured out that it makes commercial grade printouts, so for their various presentations and whatnot, they'll print enormous numbers of pages on this thing, and basically use my office as a motherfucking water-cooler. After a few weeks of this, I logged into the printer from my computer, and set it to disallow all connections from MAC addresses other than those in the marketing department, who print far less material on their own, special, dedicated printer. Absolute fucking chaos ensued. Grown men were brought to tears, ultimatums were made, and blood was shed. The hardware guys were down here for over an hour, making up absolute bullshit as to why it wasn't working(which really surprised me).

Long story short, cut off access to printer, sit back and watch the true face of humanity emerge. Seriously, fuck those guys. They have their own goddamn printer.

Best office prank: I was pretty young and naaive. Senior dev comes to me and says that it would be hilarious to slide a note under the women's bathroom door saying, "I know what you're doing in there". He says that the woman in there will think it's hilarious too. We work with her, she's very funny and laid back, so I go along with it, expecting to get a laugh. A few minutes go by and a different older women enters my cube. She's got the note! She works on the other side of the building so I don't know her too well but I can tell from the look on her face that she's pissed. I'm frozen with fear as my career flashes before my eyes.
I apologise perfusely and try to explain but she's not having it. After a while she goes back to her office not having accepted that it wasn't meant for her and that it was just a joke gone wrong. I spend the next two days apologizing every chance I get, hoping she won't go to HR. She remains stone cold until late on the second day. She couldn't take it anymore as her mouth reluctantly begins to crack a smile. At that point she drops the serious expression on her face and busts out laughing.

It turns out that the three of them planned the whole thing and executed flawlessly. I've never felt so relieved to be the butt of a joke.