All the stupid date functions where the days range from 1 to 31 but the months range from 0 to 11

Someone had to do it

When you're not ready yet for 2020

Rumour has it the driver is still stuck inside...

No, thank you.😆

Found this awesome license plate in Oslo today

It's a merge conflict

Remember this....

Best xcode review ever

This is a pretty good ad.

This bus stole HTML 5 logo 😁😁😁

Next thing you know, you're getting an email from your oven about it's updated privacy policy.

BOSS: Are you sure you are testing in development?

DEVELOPER: Yeah, the changes are local

I once participated in a programming competition. We named our team "NameNotFoundException". Although we didn't win but a few days later we got a call from the organizing committee. They thought that there was something wrong with their system and wanted to know the name of our team. We laughed our asses off.

Friend : Hey bro I made an awesome program which shows your future wife's name.

Me : Hey that sounds interesting, show me the source code bro !!

Friend shows the code :

#include <bits/stdc++.h>
using namespace std;

int main()
{
string first_name , last_name;

cout << "Enter your first name\n";
cin >> first_name ;

cout << "Enter your last name\n";
cin >> last_name ;

cout << "Your wife's name is " << "Mrs " << last_name << "\n";

}

Me : Dude you are gonna crack Google some day :P

How is it possible that i remember fluently my aliases, shortcuts in vim, bindings in i3wm and yet forget the name of the person that was introduced to me 5 minutes ago.

Interviewer: What is your native language?

Me: Lisp

Interviewer: The programming language?

Me: Yeth

I love how "shotgun debugging" works.

Let's say the microwave doesn't work. I put my burrito in it, press buttons. Nothing happens.

Any sane person would trace the possible cause: Check if it is plugged in, maybe the fuse is blown? Nah, we don't have time for this: Let's try shotgunning it!

- Turn the burrito upside down.
- Try aligning the burrito in different cardinal directions.
- Press random buttons
- Remove burrito wrapper
- Separate burrito into single components, sort them onto a plate in a nifty layout and try microwaving that.
- Remove each component of the sorted burrito plate and try microwaving the plate with less and less items.
- Try microwaving each separate item and then later reassembling them back into burrito to see if it gets heated after the act.
- Try putting a cat on top of the microwave.
- Pour water on cat
- Notice a strong reaction involving water and the cat.
- Try catching the cat for additional testing.
- Go to the hospital to get stitches on your open wounds.

Later write a bug report to the maintainer: "Microwave doesn't work. Tracked the issue down to the moisture level of the cat, additional testing needed."

I wish I could be this creative

Pen testing

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.

That fortune cookie is definity meant for programmers.

At Job interview.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.

Interviewer: What!?

Me: What?

GDPR done right. 😂😂

What’s the most efficient algorithm to find duplicates in a set?

An SO moderator

Me: I mend shoes

I agree 😳

Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

I am in 2nd Stage most of the time