Hey, i want to make a game and i need some help, so I'm looking for a team.

What i need is:
2 programmers
3 graphics artists
2 level designers
1 music composer
2 dialog writers
1 web designer for page and forums
5 testers

What i will do, you ask? Well, I've got some really good ideas. I think the game should be like Final Fantasy, but bigger and better. I worked with RPG Maker for two months, but I'm best with ideas. I think my ideas would make some incred...

GO SHOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO YOUR ASS! The idea means nothing. I got an idea for the best game ever, right this morning while i was taking a SHIT!

Hobby teams need people who create content. And people who can do stuff will more likely work with someone who does stuff as well and has proven that he is able to get things done.

We had a Commodore64. My dad used to be an electrical engineer and had programs on it for calculations, but sometimes I was allowed to play games on it.

When my mother passed away (late 80s, I was 7), I closed up completely. I didn't speak, locked myself into my room, skipped school to read in the library. My dad was a lovely caring man, but he was suffering from a mental disease, so he couldn't really handle the situation either.

A few weeks after the funeral, on my birthday, the C64 was set up in my bedroom, with the "programmers reference guide" on my desk. I stayed up late every night to read it and try the examples, thought about those programs while in school. I memorized the addresses of the sound and sprite buffers, learnt how programs were managed in memory and stored on the casette.

I worked on my own games, got lost in the stories I was writing, mostly scifi/fantasy RPGs. I bought 2764 eproms and soldered custom cartridges so I could store my finished work safely.

When I was 12 my dad disappeared, was found, and hospitalized with lost memory. I slipped through the cracks of child protection, felt responsible to take care of the house and pay the bills. After a year I got picked up and placed in foster care in a strict Christian family who disallowed the use of computers.

I ran away when I was 13, rented a student apartment using my orphanage checks (about €800/m), got a bunch of new and recycled computers on which I installed Debian, and learnt many new programming languages (C/C++, Haskell, JS, PHP, etc). My apartment mates joked about the 12 CRT monitors in my room, but I loved playing around with experimental networking setups. I tried to keep a low profile and attended high school, often faking my dad's signatures.

After a little over a year I was picked up by child protection again. My dad was living on his own again, partly recovered, and in front of a judge he agreed to be provisory legal guardian, despite his condition. I was ruled to be legally an adult at the age of 15, and got to keep living in the student flat (nation-wide foster parent shortage played a role).

OK, so this sounds like a sobstory. It isn't. I fondly remember my mom, my dad is doing pretty well, enjoying his old age together with an nice woman in some communal landhouse place.

I had a bit of a downturn from age 18-22 or so, lots of drugs and partying. Maybe I just needed to do that. I never finished any school (not even high school), but managed to build a relatively good career. My mom was a biochemist and left me a lot of books, and I started out as lab analyst for a pharma company, later went into phytogenetics, then aerospace (QA/NDT), and later back to pure programming again.

Computers helped me through a tough childhood.

They awakened a passion for creative writing, for math, for science as a whole. I'm a bit messed up, a bit of a survivalist, but currently quite happy and content with my life.

I try to keep reminding people around me, especially those who have just become parents, that you might feel like your kids need a perfect childhood, worrying about social development, dragging them to soccer matches and expensive schools...

But the most important part is to just love them, even if (or especially when) life is harsh and imperfect. Show them you love them with small gestures, and give their dreams the chance to flourish using any of the little resources you have available.

A little ago, a devRant user drew something awesome (fantasy stylish) of another devRanter.

I said in the comments that I'd kill for a drawing of my own character!

A day later I got a mention. He'd drawn my character!

Thanks a lot @ichijou! I find it awesome, it's in a frame on my wall now :D

At Job interview.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.

Interviewer: What!?

Me: What?

We were talking about harddrives at work when someone was wondering if filling them with helium would make them spin faster... Then imagination took over!

"But helium balloons float, right... So would helium filled hard drives float..? Probably not due to weight but imagine dropping a hard drive and seeing it float towards the ceiling.."

"John, the delivery guy has a box with new harddrives downstairs, could you go get them?
*shouts* John did you get them? Just don't open the box outside!! No, no, NOOO DON'T OPEN IT OUTSIDE! JOHN, THE HARDDRIVES, BE CAREFUL, DON'T OPEN THE BOX OUTSI.....
*harddrives floating by the window into the air*
NOO, JOHN, WHAT DID YOU DO?!

"*walks into the office, harddrives floating against the ceiling* goddammit John, not again"

"John, why are you putting one kilometer long cables on those harddrives?
*John let's them float into the air towards the clouds*
We offer cloud storage!"

(We have a usual office building ceiling)
"John, I need a 1tb harddrive, where are those?
Uhm... C12!

*takes a ladder and walks towards c12 to pluck one from the ceiling*"

😆

Friend: You make games right?

Me: Yea I try to atleast, why?

Friend: I have this cool idea for an MMORPG with fantasy elements and dragons and stuff!

Me: Well thats a lot of work, just setting up serv-

Friend: We can have a bunch of cool stuff like Sandbox stuff, Guild battles and 100v100 pvp

Me: As I was trying to say, it would requi-

Friend: OH We need space for atleast 10 thousand people on each server!

Me: ... Good luck buddy!

Why are job postings so bad?
Like, really. Why?

Here's four I found today, plus an interview with a trainwreck from last week.
(And these aren't even the worst I've found lately!)

------

Ridiculous job posting #1:
* 5 years React and React Native experience -- the initial release of React Native was in May 2013, apparently. ~5.7 years ago.
* Masters degree in computer science.
* Write clean, maintainable code with tests.
* Be social and outgoing.

So: you must have either worked at Facebook or adopted and committed to both React and React Native basically immediately after release. You must also be in academia (with a masters!), and write clean and maintainable code, which... basically doesn't happen in academia. And on top of (and really: despite) all of this, you must also be a social butterfly! Good luck ~

------

Ridiculous job posting #2:
* "We use Ruby on Rails"
* A few sentences later... "we love functional programming and write only functional code!"

Cue Inigo Montoya.

------

Ridiculous job posting #3:
* 100% remote! Work from anywhere, any time zone!
* and following that: You must have at least 4 work hours overlap with your coworkers per day.
* two company-wide meetups per quarter! In fancy places like Peru and Tibet! ... TWO PER QUARTER!?

Let me paraphrase: "We like the entire team being remote, together."

------

Ridiculous job posting #4:
* Actual title: "Developer (noun): Superhero poised to change the world (apply within)"
* Actual excerpt: "We know that headhunters are already beating down your door. All we want is the opportunity to earn our right to keep you every single day."
* Actual excerpt: "But alas. A dark and evil power is upon us. And this… ...is where you enter the story. You will be the Superman who is called upon to hammer the villains back into the abyss from whence they came."

I already applied to this company some time before (...surprisingly...) and found that the founder/boss is both an ex cowboy dev and... more than a bit of a loon. If that last part isn't obvious already? Sheesh. He should go write bad fantasy metal lyrics instead.

------

Ridiculous interview:
* Service offered for free to customers
* PHP fanboy angrily asking only PHP questions despite the stack (Node+Vue) not even freaking including PHP! To be fair, he didn't know anything but PHP... so why (and how) is he working there?
* Actual admission: No testing suite, CI, or QA in place
* Actual admission: Testing sometimes happens in production due to tight deadlines
* Actual admission: Company serves ads and sells personally-identifiable customer information (with affiliate royalties!) to cover expenses
* Actual admission: Not looking for other monetization strategies; simply trying to scale their current break-even approach.

------

I find more of these every time I look. It's insane.
Why can't people be sane and at least semi-intelligent?

This one is for devs and gamers.
But first some background story.

My girlfriend is special. Not just generically lovey mush mush special. She is 1 in 100 more accurately 1 in 10000. She was born with a rare Congenital Heart Defect {CHD}. Called Truncus Arteriosus or TA for sake of brevity. TA's main thing is the two main arteries going into the heart are fused together and never seperated at birth. It's bad news. There is no cure for this kind of thing. Simply repairs that happen over the course of life.

So here is me. Desperately trying to find a way to get the word about this and the 40 other types of CHD out there in the world. I thought. "What if I make a game..." Not based around the medical jargon but on a level people could understand. I spent the better part of the last six years attending appointments with her and still don't get it. What I do get is her Emotional state. How her CHD causes her to think and feel.

So here is the pitch.

The game is about a girl who is diagnosed at birth with a CHD. She is now in her 20's and has to undergo an open heart surgery to repair the defect. The day comes. She goes under but when she wakes up she find herself in a final fantasy style environment. This new world has a darkness cast over it. She is unknowingly the hero of this world and she has to face off with multiple bosses of varied degrees of evil.

Then after beating these bosses she really wakes up from the surgery. Waking up to the realization that the world she saved was herself. And all the bosses were manifestations of her own internal feelings. Depression, anxiety, hopelessness, Denise, desire and so on.

I would sell this game with the caveat that 2/3 of all profits get split between the Adult Congenital Heart Association and Project Heart. As those are the two main organizations that deal heavily with creating standards of care and raising awareness for CHD survivors.

Thoughts?

Note: I am still learning game dev. This is an eventual goal for me.

During the entire afternoon we had a ridiculously low amount of tickets.

Suddenly 'is this the real life, or is this just fantasy' popped up in my head.

😆

We've got a team of around 20 developers and the most junior of them all is a interesting specimen.

The kind of person who thinks they a 'expert' in anything and everything and is constantly trying to school our senior developers who have 20+ years experience behind them.

The sort of person that spends 15 seconds googling something he has never heard of before, but now that he has skimmed 1 page on Google would classify himself as a 'expert' in said topic.

He comes into my office yesterday and proclaims that it has been decided by himself that he no longer wants to be a developer anymore and wants to do Ops/Infrastructure, then starts rambling on about how he is a Kubernetes expert.

I asked what experience he had with Kubernetes and his response was "I watched a webinar they did last night" to which I asked if he had ever actually used anything to do with Kubernetes in his life.

"No, but I'll watch a few YouTube videos and will then be more than qualified" he says

Followed by him telling me that we'll be moving all of our current Docker Swarm clusters into Kubernetes.

This was news to me (I'm head of infrastructure and operations)

I needed a good giggle, so I asked why we would get rid of our exisiting Docker infrastructure that's got a 100% uptime over the past 2 years and has worked without failure. It's truely been a dream.

He says "Because it's shiny and cool and better"

The nest afternoon he comes to me and says "When I move everything into Kubernetes I am going to convert everything into micro services"

He says that he watched a YouTube video the night before on microservices and has decided that it's what we need to use for a particular project.

(It's a simple php website that gets 100 hits per day)

Hopefully his boss will notice that he is producing no output soon. Don't want to tell the manager that the guy he hired delivers no work and lives in a fantasy land.

"your not touching the infrastructure. Ever"

Alright, so you are a dishwasher and you do your job just fine.

And great news, the restaurant you work in is becoming THE restaurant in town.

To handle the volume you need to clean each dish within 30 seconds.

The pressure causes you to clean only the dishes that are easy to clean. Soup bowls come before ramekins with half-eaten Crème brûlée. This works for a while but it's self-defeating because not everyone is going to order soup and there is a growing shortage of clean "hard" dishes because you can only scrub so many of them to keep the chefs supplied. Eventually you are moving about 70% of the dishes in inventory at any given time and rarely used dishes have to sit filthy with their contents caking on until they are needed.

But Good news! Meet Jeb. He's the new dishwasher here to help. Efficiency! Except you have to stop and explain which dishes are easy and why they should come first. You have to share the sink, so you get a good helping of Jeb's rants about how things should have never gotten to this state and how nice the faucet was at the sink at the other restaurant.

In the interests of not making a scene in the kitchen and in front of any customers looking in, you smile and feed him a line of bullshit about how you understand and appreciate his thoughtful feedback. You'd rather just walk away and let him learn why being right doesn't buy him anything, but then you'd just be reprimanded. You and Jeb clean more and more until your moods match at a dead zone of benign acceptance thinly disguising your cynicism.

Still, part of you DOES understand Jeb. This SHOULD be simple. You pick a dish up, you scrub it until it's clean, and then you dry it. If only you could do that. If only the boss knew how hard you have to fight to do your job.

You privately go back and think about how much better things would be with some adjustments. Like, another sink. A dedicated dryer, be it person or a machine. Things that require investment, sure, but would more than make up for the value lost. You then remember that doing your job more efficiently would only bring more volume to perpetuate the cycle, assuming that you can even justify interruptions or reduced dish output to your boss.

You know that the root cause of your rush is really the customer's impatience and the business' fear of losing customers to a more convenient competitor, but that's not your job to fix. You are a dishwasher. You aren't here for the politics, you are here to wash dishes. But still you stew in a dance of wanting the power to fix what is broken while knowing you have no power to fix the most stubborn force on Earth: people.

You here a chef yell out that he needs 4 plates NOW (and not with spots on them this time, dammit), and you briefly fantasize about staring blankly into space, walking stiffly into a corner, dropping your pants, bending over, rumbling your butt cheeks, and blasting a thundershit like a 6-gauge all over the sink, the chefs, the food, fucking Jeb, and the customer body at large.

It didn't matter if you acted like a four-year old on amphetamines. The news would repeat your name for years as the dishwasher that wouldn't stand for the human condition as it stood, because the world needs to know that EVERY dishwasher's, no, EVERY WORKER's job would be simpler if it weren't for impatient consumers. And then things would change.

Pffffft lol. You laugh off your fantasy as the naive and selfish daydream that it is, then pick up the next soup bowl.

Now imagine everyone thinking this way, the dishes are invisible, the sink bowls are made of cracked cement, and the big customers will panic and attempt to raid the kitchen if they stop seeing food come out of the kitchen the instant they ask for it. And the boss asks you about your status every day while promising that you'll have time to clean the hard dishes one day.

This is Enterprise-level Software Engineering.

I coded for 9 hours straight. Super productive day with Java Spring Framework. 😁😊

Now it's time for a reward. Time for my favorite game ever.

The riskiest dev choice...

How about "The riskiest thing you've done as a dev"? I have a great entry for that. and I suppose it was my choice to build the feature afterall.

I was working on an instance of a small MMO at a game company I worked for. The MMO boasted multiple servers, each of them a vastly different take on the base game. We could use, extend, or outright replace anything we wanted to, leading to everything from Zelda to pokemon to an RP haven to a top-down futuristic counterstrike. The server in this particular instance was a fantasy RPG, and I was building it a new leveling and experience system with most of the trimmings. (Talents, feats/perks, etc. were in a future update.)

A bit of background, first: the game's dev setup did not have the now-standard dev/staging/prod servers; everything ran on prod, devs worked on prod, players connected and played on prod, etc. Worse yet, there was no backup system implemented -- or not really. The CTO was really the only person with sufficient access. The techy CEO did as well, but he rarely dealt with anything technical except server hardware, occasionally. And usually just to troll/punish us devs (as in "Oops ! I pulled the cat5 ! ;)"). Neither of them were the most reliable of people, either. The CTO would occasionally remote in and make backups of each server -- we assumed whenever he happened to think of it -- and would also occasionally do it when asked, but it could take him a week, sometimes even up to a month to get around to it. So the backups were only really useful for retreiving lost code and assets, not so much for player data.

The lack of reliable backups and the lack of proper testing grounds (among the plethora of other issues at the company) made for an absolutely terrible dev setup, but that's just how it was, and that's what we dealt with. We were game devs, afterall. Terrible or not, we got to make games! What more could you ask for!? It was amazing and terrible and wonderful and the worst thing ever, all at the same time. (and no, I'm not sharing the company name, but it isn't EA or Nexon, surprisingly 😅)

Anyway, back to the story! My new leveling system also needed to migrate players' existing data, so... you can see where this is going.

I did as much testing and inspection of my code as I could, copied it from a personal dev script to the server's xp system, ... and debated if I really wanted to click [Apply]. Every time I considered it, I went back to check another part or do yet more testing. I ended up taking like 40 minutes to finally click it.

And when I did... that was the scariest button press of my life. And the scariest three seconds' wait afterwards. That one click could have ruined every single player's account, permanently lost us players ...

After applying it, I immediately checked my character to see if she was broken, checked the account data for corruption or botched flags, checked for broken interactions with the other systems....

Everything ended up working out perfectly, and the players loved all of the new features. They had no idea what went into building them, and certainly had no idea of what went into applying them, or what could have gone wrong -- which is probably a good thing.

Looking back, that entire environment was so fragile, it's a wonder things didn't go horribly wrong all the time. Really, they almost never did. Apocalypses did happen, but were exceedingly rare, and were ususally fixed quickly. I guess we were all super careful simply because everything was so fragile? or the decent devs were, at least. We never trusted the lessers with access 😅 at least on the main servers where it mattered. Some of the smaller servers... well, we never really cared about those.

But I'm honestly more surprised to realize I've never had nightmares of that button click. It was certainly terrifying enough.

But yay! Complete system overhaul and migration of stored and realtime player data! on prod! With no issues! And lots of happy players! Woooooo!

Thinking back on it makes me happy 😊

Playing Civilization on my dad's 386 running Windows 3.11.

I remember installing various games from like 8 floppy disks each. What really confused me was that in every single game I installed, the language was really weird and I could hardly understand half of it. Always asked myself why the hell every single game developer put the same horrible German-ish fantasy language full of errors in their games.

It was much later that I realized I've always been setting the language to Dutch, thinking it was German ("Deutsch"). Yeah, my English skills were horrible back then.

Yeah, sure! We can definitely fix that for you

It has come to my attention that people like to read!

Specifically, I mean that a lot of ranters like fiction.. :D

I've been trying to decide on something to write for a while now, and I think I have it..

"The Traveler" (name open to suggestions)

The Traveler is a magic-based fantasy where our main character travels between world's using ancient stone portals (think: Stargate) and uses her unique powers to play god.

Each world she visits will equal to a different story, and she might play a good or bad guy (or both) depending on what the world has in store for her.

Her powers will include my WIP magic system from RISE, as well as some extra querks that aid the flow of the story.

I may still work on RISE, and I will keep in mind that The Traveler and RISE come from the same universe (I think RISE will be a prequel to The Traveler, and tell the tale of how she got her powers, and the origin of the portals..)

Let me know your thoughts below! ^~^

Why I quit playing video games 15 years ago, and how that impacted my life.

In a land far far away (probably from where you are) on a distant planet (probably for aliens reading this) In a typical city, in a typical apartment, I woke up from a deep deep sleep, the kind of sleep that you can only have if you've been up the previous 2 days binge playing final fantasy 7.

It was a day like any other, except, on this day, I had a haunting thought:

"What if I played my LIFE, like I did video games"?

Long story short. I couldn't play video games anymore. Instead of "working" I saw it as gaing exp points. Instead of "failing" I saw it as necessary to build up character flaws.... etc.

I haven't looked back. I created 3 businesses, I learned psychology, marketing, programming, law, etc etc.

I look at my current status, strength points, charisma points, intelligence points, etc.
And I'm proud.

You get the idea.

Later, I realized something else. If I work all day in front of a computer, how can I play in front of a computer too?

This could be a better post, but you get the gist.

Know the role video games plays in your life, and don't let it play YOU.

Reading books, lots of books... Mostly sci-fi or fantasy (I'm in love with Lem) but generally any type of books. 🙃 Currently on the table:
Lem: Master's Voice
James S.A. Corey: Leviathan Wakes

My company is providing cloud infrastructure to our customers. For research purposes we are running a little openstack cloud in our laboratory datacenter were we can test stuff before implementing it in the productive environment.

Last week the manager asked me to shut down the cluster over night and only power on the servers when we need it. (about twice a week)

The reason: it produces too much heat.

My answer was: No.
First off thats not how cloud infrastructure works, and how about a proper climate control?

Sometimes i ask myself in which parallel universum our managers live 😑

Honestly I don't mind ads, and I'm a fan of final fantasy but seriously this ad here pops up and fine with it but when the x button moves around the screen (Everytime it loads it's in different corners) AND it doesn't work I'm pissed!

So, you ask me for a quote. You know nothing about the technology or the problem, but you think the quote is too high.

On what fucking basis are you assessing the quote? On the number of words? Font? Whether your spouse/cat hates you (both do). Basically, whatever I said, you'd have said it was too high, right?

Fuckwit.

Next time *you* tell *me* how much you have to spend and I'll tell you what you can get for your budget.

Maybe a coffee and a small cake.

Don't fucking call me again.

Funny programmer fantasy porn titles.

Add your 2 cents.

I'll start with.

Naive user needs hot reloading for her frontend.

Boss GF wants you to fix her backend.

Go!

!dev

A child's mind is fascinating.

I remember how it felt being a kid, just deliriously happy.

Things were magical, mystical and happy.

I knew the world wasn't perfect, I knew bad things happened to good people.

But a kid's mind is so powerful that it can fill in the blanks with the most cheerful and optimistic perspectives.

And at some point in my childhood I was exposed to videogames, and that kinda took me down fantasy lane even further.

I was extremely young and barely retaining any memories when I was exposed to my first console, a famicom.

I have a somewhat vivid memory of my mind being blown away for the first time by watching my brother play New Ghostbusters II for NES.

From then on, we never stopped and played several console and dos/pc games.

When I was 10, someone from the neighborhood brought in a couple of floppys with Pokemon Yellow.

"What? Pokemon? How the fuck is that even possible? This is a pc, not a gameboy".

I didn't know at the time what an emulator was, but I was super fucking stoked to be able to play that.

My dad had a 1 gb laptop from work that he didn't use, so I hoarded that shit, and I would get to bed and play nearly everyday.

The experience was surreal. I was doing pc gaming... not on a chair, on a fucking bed, and I was playing a gameboy game... on a pc.

It was so intense to me, that even after more than 2 decades of that time in my life, I still remember how it feels like.

Like, you know how you can "feel" things if you think about them? like for example if you think about the taste of chicken, you can somehow feel it for a second.

Well I have like an actual physical sensation linked to that experience but I can't explain it at all, because it's just a sensation.

I think people usually say they feel that way, for example, about the PSX (usually refered to as ps one) loading screen. I experienced that too but when I was 12, so it was not as intense (it does make me feel the fuzzies though).

I also remember other things with very high detail, like the texture of my bed cover, the weather, mom cooking, the clunky shape of the laptop, the way I carelessly stored it above a pile of magazines, etc.

I rememeber ofc how it felt looking at the game sprites, interacting with NPCs, and the goddamn fucking glorious music.

It was dreamy.

Years and years later, I grew up and I stopped living in fantasy world and became more aware of the grim aspects of life my younger self was sugarcoating.

So I tried to play pokemon again, again and again, and no matter how hard I tried to revive that euphoria, I could not never do it.

I started to get annoyed at the game.

"Come oooon, I did the tutorial already, let me skip this.
This pokemon is useless, why am I even training it.
Fuck, I'm tired of grinding"

At some point I accepted that the feeling would never return, and that it would just live in my memory.

Ironically, I can recall that memory and how it felt anytime I want to.

And I can actually still feel it, and throughtout these years, it has never wore down.

And eventually I learned how to play pokemon and enjoy it:

I read tier lists at smogon online and just catch and train the pokemons that are higher on the list, which is how i got to beat yellow in like 3 days.

(This is nothing compared to what speedrunners do, but much better than the weeks it had taken me in the past).

That served as an important lesson that when a kid plays a game, his mind is also the game at the same time, filling the blanks with its imagination.

A very similar experience happened to me with harvest moon, which is the precursor of stardew valley.

and that game is faaar more emotional: you talk to people, overtime you befriend them and they open up, you meet a girl, you marry her, have a kid

you get farm animals, you brush them, they become happy

you get attached

that game was also so powerful in me that in all naiveness I thought I wanted to be a farmer.

Eventually I grew up and hit puberty and from then on, I focused more on competitive games, like smash bros, cs and tf2.

and i dunno how to end a post so eat my fucking nuts

Does anyone else fantasize about giving up programming and go live in a jungle or doing other things that require more physical effort?

I've been learning carpentry, farming, DIY power generation etc. The goal is to be self-sufficient and go live in a fucking jungle someday. Or legally buy some cheap land far from the city and automate the shit out of it. No wait, I'll just live there as a normal farmer and write code if I feel nostalgic or something.

I think anyone other than me could have expressed that better.

My favorite game just released a 3D map of their universe.

That's fucking awesome! How much work this had to be.... OwO

I think I'm not as socially awkward as I once believed. I realize I just have nothing in common with the majority of people.

I don't watch sports, I don't care about cars, or fantasy football, or have any hobbies non-developers would find interesting.

If you want to talk about software patterns, finite automaton, Lua/C APIs, etc, then fuck yeah I'll talk to you all day long.

Marking your email as "High Priority" does not make it high priority. Nor will it get it attended to any faster. But keep believing it will, dear colleagues. Live happily in your little fantasy worlds.

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities. " - Dr. Seuss

Tomorrow the last half of my current study in web design starts tomorrow and we are going to start by going through php and asp.net.. spider duck and I are not amused and confused..

Hollywood vs RealLife

Definitely Dungeons & Dragons.
One of the oldest geeky fantasy roleplaying games and I love it.
My first teacher teacher at my bachelors got me into it. Tried it out and I've need addicted ever since.

#require "A rant from a few days ago in which some guy actually did this";;

Current fantasy: I wish the two assholes sitting at the table next to mine in the cafe and being super loud and obnoxious were discussing a business idea so that I could buy their domain name and put a large "eat a bag of dicks" type picture on it.

Fucking shit for brains authors that think the digital world is a fantasy realm where everything can happen just to aid their story. Out of boredom i watched "scorpion" today, a tv series about a group of geniusses which are a special case task force.
They got a visitor from the government saying the servers from the federal reserve bank were encrypted with ransomware. I already twitched when they said the economic system would collapse if the servers were left inoperational for a few days. Then one guy got to his desk and "hacked" the fed network to check... he then tried to remove the malware but "it changed itself when observed". But they got the magical fingerprint of the device that uploaded it. In the end some non-programmers created the malware, but it is super fast and dangerous because it runs on a quantum computer which makes it hyper fast and dangerous. They got to the quantum computer which was a glowing cube inside another cube with lasers going into it and they had to use mirrors to divert the lasers to slow down that quantum thingy. And be careful with that, otherwise it explodes. In the end the anti-malware battled the malware and won, all in a matter of minutes.

This is a multimillion hollywood production. How can a movie this abusive to computer science even air on television? Shit like this is the reason people still think the cyberworld is some instable thing that can explode any second. It's not, it's an instable thing that can break down any second. I remember "ghost in the wires" and people had surreal imaginations about the internet already. Shit like this is why people stay dumb and think everything can be done in seconds. If i ever should encounter one of these idiots i tell him i have an app that can publish his browser history by taking a picture of his phone and watch his reaction.
Time to shuw down the tv and learn vim again.

My first dev project. That is a toughie. Years ago (1998) I did some BASIC programming in HS. Then a few years after that (somwhere between 2002 and 2006) I did a lot of video game editing with hex editors and other tools to replace dialog to translate video games from Japanese to English, but there was not much coding there.

The first one I remember in recent times that involved any kind of coding was back in 2012/2013, there was a save state editor for Final Fantasy III on android (it didn't work for the iOS saves) but the editor was in Chinese. I ended up working with someone else to change it to English, so that others could use it easier. After that, I decided to code one from scratch for a different game.

I spent weeks working on it, and finally released a save editor for Final Fantasy Dimensions (I made sure it worked for both iOS and Android save files). It was my first great achievement, however it was way to many lines of code (I didn't know about loops or arrays back then, so I had a lot of repeating code). I eventually ended up making ones for Final Fantasy IV and VI, however those were never released to the public, as I had trouble getting the CRC to calculate properly every time.

This led me down the path I am now, going for my Bachelor's in IST with a specialization in Programming.

Fantasy and Sci-Fi,
Math and theoretical CS,
Graffiti (this one is just a sketch tho),
Wandering around (for long time and distances),
Bike riding (before someone steal it),
Sky watching (with naked eye)
and I have other not-so-popular habits that I have, but I don't know if they are considered geek.

Feels scary to purchase my first ever dedicated server. After two years using VPSs (and paying 5$ a month for that xD)
It feels scary and exciting to know they are somewhere in the world, setting up a new machine just for me! xD

- regardless of whether they are actually setting up a new machine or just starting a preinstalled machine, let me live the fantasy of being special here xD

Books. I love them, I buy them, where ever I go. My favorites are the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, but I will read any sci-fi/fantasy-styled book I come across. I would attach an image, but my phone's camera is pretty shitty, so just imagine some shelfs filled with books.

Music is imortant to me too. There will always be music playing when I'm around. I'm trying to make some myself. It's not that good but still fun. I am also a collector of vinyl records.

And then there are games of course, because sitting at a pc just for coding is not enough :D

Ideally

UX designer:
User oriented, design stuff that fullfill actual needs of user
Engineer:
Focus on utility, how to execute designer's desin

Reality
UX designer:
Personal oriented, design stuff that "they" think user will prefer. End up design some unrealistic functions.
Engineer:
Working overtime to fullfil designers' fantasy thought

I would like to proclaim my utmost love and respect to a programming language and one of its framework.

This language/framework combo was so beautiful that during development I had fantasies about it coming to life as the women I want to marry. I genuinely felt love in my heart to her. I even felt butterflies in my stomach thinking about her!

But I'm worried I might jinx it. So I'm not gonna name it.

I love you.

I think my ultimate life fantasy is to chew mouthful of m&m's for hours.

It feels kind of extremely selfish and greedy to eat it like that.

Make a fantasy MMORPG with a cool magic system in which you can craft spells kind of like coding.

Next night... (continue the phrase)

Figuring out how to install Ruby on windows, is this real life? Or is this just fantasy, caught in a landslide? No escape from reality.

Client sending files containing / in their filenames..

If he ever send this shit again I swear I'll be chopping off his thumb and sticking it up hos arse, it'll sure fit whatever bizarre fantasy he have for doing such atrocious things.

So what exactly does "Learning" mean in a tech industry?

From my experience,
"learning" from college's pov
"Welcome to the class. your parents has paid us already for this. Now we are supposed to stand here for next 6 months, study very slowly and learn about the topics of our curriculum and give a test on it. we might as well make a good nice project to check our knowledge"
(worst college will also add "Sorry the above message was just fiction, i am here to drink tea & enjoy my day,while you guys are here to enjoy,mark attendance and get a degree because we only care about our reputation and we are gonna pass you anyway")

"learning" from startups pov:
"Here is an idea, here is a design, here is your months salary and here is your deadline.
Make a 100% polished,working product out of it before the deadline. You are solely responsible for this project and you have to figure out on your own how to make our fantasy idea into reality before deadline hits( else you are shit).
This way you learn.
We will also provide you with a free all time learning course on how to be fine without getting any respect for your hardwork and tolerate our insults, which will help you in the life long journey of dealing assholes.
Our company is great and providing you an amazing learning opportunity, kiss our feet."
(worst startups will also add "We don't have/ wont provide you any seniors to help you with this stuff, the internet is your source of truth"/ "if you don't hit the deadline, your salary will get deducted"/ "work on weekends to hit the deadline")

"Learning" from an MNC pov (never really experienced those but from what i have heard):
"Welcome to our company. we here provide you with a similar experience as that of your shitty college during training period and then put you in low brain-ish low paying repetitive job for life until you leave us or we find a replacement for your work or salary"

I see. They have to be geeky...mmmmh

I read a lot about biology, chemistry, physics and mathematics.

My two fav subjects are biology and math from the above. And I try to attend to as many lectures as I can.

Biology fascinates me to no end and it helps that one of my closest friends works as a resesrcher in Mexico, we are far but we get to talk about it all the time. He is more than happy to go on large lectures about the subject.

I also read a fuckload of fantasy books as well as manga. I also go on anime binged here and there.

In perspective though, i don't think anything is as nerdy as software development. SPECIALLY if it involves large portions of math(which in my case does for the things we develop for the accounting department)

( . Y . ) <--- chichis

This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.

Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.

Oh... my... gosh. I don't think I've ever been more infuriated by people that talk about how much money their company is going to make. They talk about what they're going to buy, what they're going to do. How everyone they don't like is going to feel sorry for ever crossing them. And then they do absolute jack shit in terms of actually working towards their fantasy company that is going to make them billions. Know why? They're LAZY. It's nice to dream, but be realistic. Fuck. Listen, 90% or more of people are just average. If you don't work towards making yourself great, of course you're not going anywhere. Most people will never be rich. It's just how it is.

Bonus annoyance points for trying to make me do all the work for the company that will make them billions. -_-

Me: *tinkering on a webpage that spits out random characters, motivations, themes, and genres for the purpose of short story creation*

Me: Okay, so we have a young girl, with the motivation of The Power of Friendship, the theme of Crime, with the story structure of Dan Harmon, and set in a Fantasy genre.

Coworker: Dan Harmon? Improvise. Wait... A young girl, on a Purge planet who befriends Morty... I mean a young boy from a different universe.

Me: *a minute later* Wait a second, that was an episode of Rick and Morty!!

Coworker: I did that on purpose because you said Dan Harmon.

Saw few rants asking about liquor and coding. I'm a drinker but I never drink and code. And never will.

But I kinda have a fantasy similar to the opening act from the film "Swordfish" :3

What do you think?
How will the work of the future look like?

what will be better?
What will be worse?
How would you like to work?

So I'm having trouble keeping up with a game I'm working on and im struggling to find a new job, soooooo I decided fuck it and began concepting building a fantasy console with a custom backend language slightly modelled off of Assembly that you would then create a front end of...

Going to build it using GML and then build a GML front language because fuck it, why not!

So I had to write a program for university... It got graded.. I got 1.7 (1 being best).
Now you might say that's good. But I wrote a whole fucking final fantasy like game with engine and the program I helped with of a friend of mine is just a little roulette game without animation.. and he got a 1.3.

TIL: Don't give your best. Just give no fuck and push something out quickly.

I wonder if anime counts? Other than that, I just like reading teen fantasy novels and webtoons (a bit old for them :p )

TLDR: Read the post.

Part of me watches the day fly by as I work through the various stories and issues my company has as we walk through the various phases and clean up of their own stupidity of outsourcing. I guess it would be unfair to say “stupidity” It was really a money thing. Excuses aside, the alcohol today tastes amazing as I work through the issues, nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever redundant or boring. There are times where you want to pull your hair out, jump off a building and question why the hell any one would write code, specifically Laravel this way.

I watch the internet from now and then and see the cry babies whine and complain about GitHub and Microsoft jumping into bed and their favourite, and mine too, editor falling into Microsoft’s hands.

It’s disgusting and completely childish, but I digress. The last time I was here the alcoholism and the loneliness had begun pushing me towards the Nicotine and suicide. I have managed to obviously push through and watch the money come in only for adult life to take it away, I guess that’s life. Complaining about it will do nothing other then show others how much control you lack in your own life. You quiet your complaints and bury them deep inside your mind where they fester and stir and become drowned in alcohol.

Dating is even harder, especially when you work from home, so much so that I have completely given up there, any semblance of social life is buried in Final Fantasy 14 online, where pixels and text other people write have become my friend, at least for a moment or two before the work takes over and I sit in a room blaring music and watching the code I write, appear on screen like some savant who has high functioning autism but can create amazing works of art. I don’t think I am autistic though.

The truth is I don’t mind my job, I love the money and the freedom as I stated before.

Code for me is like a seed of anger that starts deep in my core, festering, eating away at me, killing me slowly and branding me a fool. The problem is the best feeling, when there is a problem I can solve it with code, when there is a problem that cannot be solved by code I take solace in the problems that can be. I don’t like people, I hate offices and I despise dealing with my own personal issues, I would rather drink and vape until the nicotine and the alcohol has made me sufficiently numb.

Code is a place I can escape, a place I have control, a place where I don’t feel like blowing my brains out at the stupidity of other people. Have I mentioned that I hate people?

The internet is full of idiots, people ranting and raving about this and that and how it affects them oh so much, when they don’t even let their own code, there own programming problems, and in most cases shitty solutions, affect them. Look at this GitHub thing, the idiots are running around with their heads cut off, waiting for the world to end or in most cases acting like it has. Companies get bought, bill get paid, people leave each other – Shut the fuck up and deal with it.
I guess if you look back at what I have written you could say the same thing to me, boo-fucking-hoo working from home sucks sometimes, grow up and deal with it like an adult. Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps. Excuse me as I continue to drink this post away and watch the downvotes come in. I guess honesty comes with a double edge sword.

And yes I would rather use alcohol as a solution then deal with the issues.

Finally made the time to chase my passion for game development. Tried with UE4 in the past but didn't have the time to evolve. Heard that Unity is easier for mobile game development so, Unity, here we go! My journey starts with an Android game project. I'm equipped with a book (of guidance) and a keyboard/mouse (of fantasy and adventure). Wish me luck!

- I love blowing my mind. Even if it is the most confusing thing. Things like security mechanisms, neurons' behaviors, mathematics (even tho I hate it when I fail lol), electronics, medical terminology and chemistry.
- I love collecting rare coins, personally never-seen stones and put them into my collection. I love to be a designer. Not only on my laptop. I have a book shelf and within that book shelf I put stones that create the yin yang sign while pushing the books to two sides. That makes them look like they are levitating. I have stones (including obsidian) that create a triangle and a knife hanging down the wall of my room.
- I love visiting touristic, historic, naturally-beautiful but also non-touristic (non-touristic? yes. by that I mean visiting e.g. the areas of touristic cities which are dangerous, because you can easily fall down off of a slippery ground and take serious injuries) places around the globe, talk to complete strangers in public (I am trying to be an extrovert), take pictures with my camera and collecting antiquities.
- I love taking risks (no. I don't play any poker games etc on the internet) without trying to put other people in risk. Driving insanely with whatever I have. Car, bike, you name it.
- I love reading books. Books that are about human psychology, fantasy novels and books about programming languages.
- I love to cook (I am at the beginning).
- I love to use the konMari method of tidying up my room.
- I love plants.
- I love having everything in my room tidied up (even if I am too busy with other stuff and skip this cleaning process for a week upto a month sometimes. Sorry, room.).
- I love doing sports. But mostly sport that I have never tried before. This can be, because of my greedy wish for an adrenaline kick. That led me into taking a balloon flight at 4 am (sunrise) and to paragliding at sunset above Mediterranean sea btw. (I am normally afraid of flying, but paragliding was awesome).
- I love swimming. Like, you cannot pull me out of the sea for a minimum of 2 hours, if it is not important.
- I love laying above the sea water and let the sea carry me to somewhere else.
- I love being alone. I love the silence. I love to be free in my thoughts.
- I love watching the sunset, the light that shines through the forest, the moonlight and the stars at night.
- I love dreaming. No, like, lucid dreaming for example.
- I love being open to any opinions.
- I love to learn about other people's views about the world and their religion.
- I love pets and would do anything to keep them alive when they are ill. It hurts my heart seeing them like this.
- I love watching demonic "A: Holy shit! Did you see this thing, too?! B: Yes!" YouTube videos just for the fun of it, but I hate horror movies and games.
- I love trying out new things. The creation of music and video for example.
- I love to give my hair and beard a shape, if I am too lazy to go to the barbershop lol. By that I don't mean just going to the barbershop, but taking an electric razor and cutting my hair myself even if I get bad results from time to time that can be corrected by letting any family member tell me in which area of of my head the hair problem is.
- I don't like disco clubs.
- I don't like toxic people even though I can be a quite toxic person myself without realizing it. If I appear toxic to you, inform me about it. Having so much testosterone in that moment, can make me do things that I don't want to do.
- I don't like drugs even tho I have to admit that I am trying a few from time to time (maybe 6 months in-between) to have a dopamine kick. I am not an addict.
- I hate myself for things that I did in the past.
- I used to watch MMA videos etc.
- I used to use a telescope, but I can't find it anymore.
- I used to have a microscope, but I can't find it anywhere and besides of that the seller did literally piss in it before selling it to me many years ago. Don't want to touch it tbh.
- I used to play games, but I don't enjoy games anymore. That makes me feel sad.
- I miss the old moments of my life.

In conclusion:
I like how things went and go so far. It changed me so much. It made me a good and a bad person. I became more open and confident, but it also particularly made me a leader who can say "fuck off" in a bad way to his family. I would like to undo this particular part of me.

I have always had the fantasy to build a function in my developments that upon start would check if my user still is enabled in the Active Directory, and if not then shut down the application. Never done it... yet.

Little project for an insurance sales guy / finance coach / entrepreneur

My first thought: guy sounds extremely shady but ok let’s come up with a hefty price.

Guy accepts my offer and pays one third in advance as I asked. Of course he pays cash because he „didn’t make it to the bank“ but happened to have the big bucks in his wallet.

I give him a receipt for the cash payment.

Job is done I write an invoice for the remaining two thirds.

Guy transfers money to my account. No cash this time.
However he took the sum in the second invoice and subtracted the first one and 50 bucks extra and send the remaining entirely imaginary sum.

I text him. He does not get it and explains that he payed cash in advance.
I say yes but that is not the point. You can not make up the sums of your invoice yourself.

I send him three warnings via mail.

He sends an angry letter back sayingthst he payed one third in advance.

I tell him how nice it is that we agree in that regard but that the issue will go t court if he does not pay.

Sometimes I am fascinated how elaborately stupid people can behave. :/

How do you manage to explain to a boss who thinks all devs can solve problems by typing on their keyboard fast, that it’s almost always fantasy?

How can we go to a new world?
No need death.
Just read a fantasy book
Or learn new programming language.
For example, if you're a php Dev, learn c#, Java or c++.
Believe me, it's a new world.

I was about to go to bed, decided to open instagram and this angel is in the top of my feed. Amen 😇

I want to watch a movie where the actresses are:
- Miranda Kerr, Daniela Botero, Angelina Danilova and lizzydm (instagram - what's her full name?)

In uni, doing a compressed second degree in CS because I am overeducated AF and why stop now? This is my first semester and I am in a whole bunch of first year classes that are prereqs to actually interesting stuff. I just want to get through this easy but assignment-heavy stuff so I can get to real coding, and then! I learn! That there is apparently a fad for GROUP EXAMINATIONS at my school and I have an actual group final exam in my statistics class next week and I might just punch someone in the throat.

"Sometimes I’m amazed that I spend my days creating magic and fantasy and that people buy it. It’s like connecting with the inner child in me; I’m just having a great time, and I’m chuckling to myself that this is really happening, that I can do this with my life." - Lita Albuquerque

I would have wanted to bring up SICP again, with the great big warning about the evil assignment operator and state and all the troubles that ensue (just think: concurrency).
But in a way, nothing has really come up from this or my attempts to dig deeper into "everything is a file/object" (Unix, smalltalk), neither from formal languages or the Curry-Howard correspondence. - Maybe there's just nothing, no firm bottom ground to discover. Like the physicists going for their world formula, but instead of a grand, beautiful symmetry that explains everything, we face a shattered world of (incompatible) theories, that is ever so more complex and chaotic through our theories applied to it. There may not be a Platonic ideal world of ideas, but rather partial constructs explaining some particular perceptions.

Similarly the one perfect programming language to rule them all, the perfect abstraction, pattern is probably just another prepubertal fantasy to be sunk.

So maybe instead of seeking the perfect epiphany, we should go for something quite different: the nagging, brooding uneasiness that something is wrong there, that there's something to be fixed... that even negative feeling would propel us to search further, not to stay in whatever is touted as the real thing.

Such irritations I found with Pieter Hintjens' writings. For example when he actively engaged in conspiracy theories. And I'm still not sure, if he just went off the cliff or he's even right alluding that these theories are an act of sanity, a self-defence against the hidden evil mights. I just don't know. Anything.

I'm planning to buy Dell XPS 15" latest model in the near future and will do a triple boot: windows, Ubuntu and Hackintosh. I hope that is possible.

Also I hope the latest 2018 15" macbook pro will have no touch bar, no butterfly keyboard, no dongle life. But that's just a fantasy so I'm excited for Dell XPS

Is any of it real? I mean, look at this. Look at it! A world built on fantasy. Synthetic emotions in the form of pills. Psychological warfare in the form of advertising. Mind-altering chemicals in the form of... food! Brainwashing seminars in the form of media. Controlled isolated bubbles in the form of social networks. Real? You want to talk about reality? We haven't lived in anything remotely close to it since the turn of the century. We turned it off, took out the batteries, snacked on a bag of GMOs while we tossed the remnants in the ever-expanding Dumpster of the human condition. We live in branded houses trademarked by corporations built on bipolar numbers jumping up and down on digital displays, hypnotizing us into the biggest slumber mankind has ever seen. You have to dig pretty deep, kiddo, before you can find anything real. We live in a kingdom of bullshit. A kingdom you've lived in for far too long. So don't tell me about not being real. I'm no less real than the fucking beef patty in your Big Mac.

If you haven't heard of Plini, go check them out, if you have, they just released a new album. Go listen, it's awesome.

It's like Final Fantasy music, but more groovy than ambient.

most complicated code till now must be the universe......
.....if you know what i mean

What's your routine for versioning pre-releases?

While working on a big change, like "milestone 2.0", how do you, while working on it, version it before the main release? To keep it being 2.0.0 on release and not for example 2.130.0 (since it was "2.130.0-pre" just before release)?

Or is it my fantasy that when released to public it "should" always be *.0.0?

I need figure out a way to work managing my fantasy football teams into my sprints this year, or were going to lose again.

You couldn’t programming if you hadn’t a computer. :)

Much like everyone else, I'm into gaming but more specifically the Final Fantasy series. The latest FFXV is amazingly detailed and beautiful to play