try {
// something
} catch (SomeException e) {
}

Swallowed Exception.. what the fuck is wrong with you?! And I see this shit in a lot of places in the code!

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a Class after her. she felt I treated her like and Object.

I have a couple of stories that I think are memorable from co-workers quitting in funny/interesting ways.

1. At one of the first companies I worked at, they gathered everyone to make an announcement that began with, “this is just a reminder, any heavy objects/packages need to be removed through the freight elevators, and cannot be taken through the main lobby.” We’re all thinking OK... why are you telling us this. Next part of the announcement was, “so and so (co-worker) is no longer with the company.” Apparently, which we found out later, the guy either quit/and/or got fired and wheeled his desk chair out the front door through the lobby (keep in mind this is an office on one of the busiest avenues in Manhattan). The whole thing was crazy. That’s the last we ever heard about him.

2. This one was strange. A really quiet dev at one of my previous companies was clearly constantly bored at work (he barely had any responsibility and was pretty much ignored) but the job was pretty cushy. One day, he was out from work, and no one thought much of it. Then he was out another day, then another, and before we knew it, it was like a week. No one knew where he was. Eventually, he sent an email saying he got stuck out of he country or something and he wouldn’t be coming back. Ok... weird, but kind of made sense.

But, one of our ops guys was able to see the ip/location of where he logged on to send the email, and it was right from NYC! So pretty much this guy was just fed up, left one day (with no notice), and just never came back. And then lied that he was out of the country when trying to explain is hasty departure.

I took a glance at Vue. I think it's beautiful. Where do I start?

Thanks in advance.

Me: hello IE, you see that div with id?
IE: ...... ..... .... yes.
Me: would you like to set it as absolute and stick to bottom?
IE: ........... i don't know...
Me: but all the other guys like chrome and firefox are doing it.. come on it's not object-fit: cover; just absolute positioning. Please.
IE: ......... I can't!
Me: why the fuck not??
IE: ......because I don't see the id...
Me: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!!!
IE:...............

Submitting my changes for review and my CTO catches the line:
```js
console.log("It fucking works")
```

Apparently, clients/managers favorite acronym is ASAP.

"A client wants to buy 'the source', can we give him the source but not the code. We don't want him copying."

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Here nerds. Here are some Dev Books for free!

Http://Goalkicker.com - Has like 50 categories of developing Languages and tools notes. iOS pdf has 800 pages. Java has 900!

And if youre living under a rock, here's a github repo of 1,044 PDFS (last I checked) - https://github.com/tpn/pdfs

Go learn something!

About to install a new linux distro.

Re-checking if I am about to format the right partition for 25+ times.

I really hope I won't fuck this up.

"Can you teach us how to do x? If not, how much would you charge for doing it yourself?"

Bitch, my time is valuable, if I teach you, I'm gonna charge you anyway...

*Christmas song parody*
It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this.

Debugging

attending first php meeting and getting excited over the php elephant

When your favorite IDE is Netbeans, but you hate Java. It's like you have a favorite meal, but you hate the restaurant.

"Could you make me a nice logo really quick? I have no budget"

.. sure, just let me press the "make Logo"-Button in Illustrator

Everybody

Our site is too fast, please slow it down!

-
Said no client ever 🙄

When you look back at old code and think "Why the hell did I write it like that?"

Tech companies be like:

"We're looking for some young graduates with at least 12 years of experience"

I spend so much time coding on my laptop that my girlfriend starting calling my mac "the other girl" in our relationship.

the best way

rm - rf /

Stack Overflow is down. Can't write code at all.

People commenting in google play like "this app is bad, crashing all the time". Well, there is a report button over there, maybe you can help me to solve problems instead of whining?

Did u get it ?

good commit message:
"make improvements to the user interface."
bad commit message:
"made improvements to the user interface"
no, you didn't. it's not deployed yet. your merely SUGGESTING improvements at this point. that's like walking into an interview telling the secretary you already got the job. flushing before you wipe. eating the pizza when it's still frozen. you are way too assumptive about this commit you've just made actually making it to production.
unless you are already on production? well, in that case, your commit message was incorrect. let me amend it for you:
"HOT FIX ALL TEH BUGS!!!11111!!11"

When you receive tens of JAVA job offers, just because your online resume says you are good at "Javascript".

Relationship problems