There is this guy at work we call 'the human linter'

Despite his mad clean codes skills: light theme

Dafuq dude :(

I tried to double tap an Instagram post

oh wait

Glad I added urban dictionary.

"Running the sample code is easy! Just git clone, make sure python, lua, gcc, docker and cuda are installed, and run ./install.sh. Easy!"

Me: Light 6 candles, sprinkle some thyme water with unicorn tears over my keyboard, start chanting an unholy hymn... shit... some compiler error from a library I've never heard of before.

Why can't these "interesting samples" come with easy pre-compiled binaries...

Which asshole designer and stupid website owners decide to embed 110 trackers on a single page!!
I mean sure some ads add their own trackers....but THIS is beyond shit
R.I.P Privacy

I am not experienced enough to make sins, I make mistakes.

Part 2 of my boss's stupidity

~FreezeFrame.mp4

*Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?*
*You actually reinstated my class?*

~anotherReverseRecordSound.mp3

-------------

Another late night and another set of pulls I needed to do in order to get caught up with the rest of the world.

I had just finished up dealing with a strange bug and had finally fixed it.
"I need to get caught up with my boss," I thought to myself.

I quickly git pull from my boss and a merge conflict occurs.

"Oh, ok that's fine." I say, "that's nothing too odd."

~FreezeFrame.mp4

"Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?" I shouted inside my head
I couldn't believe what I was seeing, there was a huge chunk of code that was being completely replaced.

"You're actually reinstating my class?" I nearly shouted.

"What!?" my girlfriend shouts from the other room.

"Come here a second, let me show you what it is," I shout back.

She rushes in real quickly, and I point at the code that was being changed.

"Remember that really long ass rant I made about how my boss had completely removed all of my code because he thought it was spaghetti?" I said

"Yeah?" she replied quickly, visually astounded by my excitement.

"He fucking put my class back into the code!!!"

"Wow!... I guess you beat him, huh?" she said.

"You better fucking believe it, but you want to know what's worse?"

She cocked her head sideways, "what?"

"He fucking built it worse than my original! The names don't properly reflect what he is trying do and he's doing a failure job at trying to copy what I had done in my original. He clearly doesn't know about git revert" I said between bouts of laughter.

"This is too good, I'm putting this on devRant!" I said

"I'm not in the least bit surprised that you would." She replied back.

Related Rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1001888/...

Push push push

Suck my hairy asshole, devs who disable paste for web forms. Or more likely, management softs who read in a trade magazine that paste is bad.

I came from a village, we have animals (like a farm), pigs, chicken, sometimes duck and goose. One day I had to work from home, bc had to come back to parents house. Our daily skype meeting was like this:

* discussing very important IT stuff *
* grandma rushes into my room *
me: sorry, but i have a meeting
grandma: i just wan...
me: but i cannot right no...
grandma: just wanted to know if...
me: grandma, I cannot right now, we have a skyp... im talking with colleagues, on the computer
grandma: * quiet voice * okay, i dont want to interrupt, I just want to know - Did you ordered the ducks?
* what I hear in headphones: collegues and boss LOLd sooo hard *
me: ffs, what ducks?
grandma: did your father not give you the guys number?
me: * starting to sweat * what guy? no he didnt, i have no idea what youre talking about
grandma: * disappointed * then who gonna order them...?
me: ...
grandma: * standing next to me, she hears the laughter * whats that?

since then, if im working from home every skype meeting starts with "Tommy, is your grandma there? HAHA!"

True Story
Happens everytime coz new programmers don't have the patience to read old answers and try to understand them.

I have been programming for 1.5 years and I never needed to ask a single question.

"Remember that script you made a few years ago? How did you make it work with product x?"

Dude, I can barely remember how I brewed coffee this morning.

We’re recruiting new team members, and so our recruiting staff wanted some input on what to look for. We told them that we need more frontend devs, mainly for JS frameworks like React and Aurelia.

And now a few weeks later we find out that our newly recruited Java developer is starting this monday. Thanks

Hey Mm...Morty. What are you doing?

Oh gee Rick, I’m just...you know...using Linux and telling the internet how that makes me better than them.

Morty, you rr...realize that it...it...doesn’t matter what OS you use Morty. Y...y...you’re still a piece of shit Morty. I can prove it...burp...mathematically Morty. In the grand scheme of the universe...y...y...you are a bubble sort algorithm surrounded by quick sorts Morty.

Oh gee Rick.

Dear websites,

Please stop fucking asking me to install your shitty mobile apps. They do the same thing your site does. I have a browser, and it's a lot better. I don't even visit you every day. But even if I did, and I wanted your crappy app, I'd open the app store and download it by myself. No need to push me.

No need to waste the little screen estate I have with crappy call-to-action sections to download that shit.

Fuck your desire for more information about me. Fuck your narcissistic enjoyment when I have your icon on my fucking home screen.

The truth is, there is a very small number of apps that really need to integrate with a phone to offer better experience.

I feel most of you feel you need to have an app just because everyone else does. And so you could show these little Android and Apple logos on your website or ads. Well, how about you just make sure your site works well on a mobile screen and don't waste your money on a half-baked mobile shit app unless it really offers something worthwhile?

And if you do have a good app and it really does something, ask me just once and fucking respect my choice. Don't just ask me again and again, on every page, with every new session, or I'll just stop visiting.

You're all not that unique, so fuck you!

Procrastination is weird... Their were a piece of code I wasn't looking forward to work on, so I started cleaning my apartment instead, putting some order in my files, and even tidy up my desk, which I didn't do for months 😐
And it finally took me 10min to actually write the code 😆
It's annoying, but I can't be the only one 🤔
At least I can enjoy a clean setup... Until it become a mess again...

Suicide Linux