Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.

Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.

*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*

Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?

Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.

Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.

He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.

Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.

Sit down before you read this.

So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.

Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.

This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.

In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.

We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.

And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.

At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.

The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".

Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.

Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".

After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".

Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".

At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.

I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.

A story about how a busy programmer became responsible for training interns.

So I was put in charge of a team of interns and had to teach them to work with Linux, coding (Bash, Python and JS) and networking overall.
None of the interns had any technical experience, skills, knowledge or talent.
Furthermore the task came to me as a surprise and I didn't have any training plan nor the time.

Case 0:
Intern is asked to connect to a VM, see which interfaces there are and bring up the one that's down (eth1). He shuts eth0 down and is immediately disconnected from the machine, being unable to connect remotely.

Case 1:
Intern researches Bash scripting via a weird android app and after a hour or so creates and runs this function: test(){test|test&}
He fork-bombed the VM all other interns used.

Case 2:
All interns used the same VM despite the fact that I created one for each.
They saved the same ssh address in Putty while giving it different names.

Case 3:
After explicitly explaining and demonstrating to the interns how to connect to their own VMs they all connect to the same machine and attempt to create file systems, map them and etc. One intern keeps running "shutdown -r" in order to test the delay flag, which he never even included.

Case 4:
All of the interns still somehow connect to the same VM despite me manually configuring their Putty "favorites". Apparently they copy-paste a dns that one of them sent to the entire team via mail. He also learned about the wall command and keeps scaring his team members with fake warnings. A female intern actually asked me "how does the screen knows what I look like?!". This after she got a wall message telling her to eat less because she gained weight.

Case 5:
The most motivated intern ran "rm -rf" from his /etc directory.
P.S. All other interns got disconnected because they still keep using his VM.

Case 6:
While giving them a presentation about cryptography and explaining how SSH (that they've been using for the past two weeks) works an intern asked "So is this like Gmail?".
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if he meant the authorization process. He replied with a stupid smile "No! I mean that it can send things!".

FML. I have a huge project to finish and have to babysit these art majors who decided to earn "ezy cash many" in hightech.

Adventures will be continued.

I was drunk yesterday, watching Mr. Robot.

Woke up with Kali linux booted from a usb and a hacked WiFi password for my annoying vegan neighbor.

The programmer and the interns part 2.

We will discuss numerous events that happened over the past week or so.

Case 0:
We had our weekly engineering meeting. The interns were invited as well.
We hold meetings in the generic, big, corporate meeting rooms with a huge table in the middle.
There were more than enough chairs for everyone yet the most motivated and awkward intern (let's call him Simon) chose to stand, cause "it's cool man, I always stand". At this point we all know that he probably read about Agile stand up meetings and is confusing it with this one. Otherwise he's simply trying to stand out from the rest. (See what I did there?)
Anyway the meeting has started way later than planned (what a surprise) and took much longer than Simon expected. Everybody is sitting and listening to the CTO while occasionally glancing at the weird looking intern standing awkwardly and refusing to sit because it would make his original intentions pointless. He even tried to nod whith a serious face and his hands crossed when the CTO said something and looked at his general direction. The meeting was about a hour and a half long but with the delay it was at least 2.5 hours.
At the end Simon was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the office puff, was forgotten and locked inside. 3 hours later when I was home I received a call from him with his sleepy-trying-to-sound-awake voice telling the news. Lucky there's a 24/7 Noc team that could rescue him.

Case 1:
An intern who was late on his Linux test connected to every test VM (should I remind you that each one has a personal VM but they share passwords for their roots?) and tried to reset it with "sleep 10s; shutdown -h now".
He took down all 13 of those so I had to turn them on and switch passwords again.

Case 2:
One of the interns didn't do any of his training chores. Apparently he forgot what he was told to use, ignored all online documentation and used Windows CMD with Linux commands for almost a week already.

Case 3:
Simon uses Vim to write all text possible. Even mails, he then selects all and copies into the mail body. He spent half a day on a homework task I gave them. He wrote everything inside one text file using Vim. When he was done he saved the file and quit the editor. He then said "Oh shit! I've forgot to sign my name!". I explicitly told him that theres absolutely no need for that because I see which mail the file was sent from. He said "I don't even need a program for that!" and gave a couple of strokes on the keyboard.
Later I received an email from him with a .txt attachment. When I opened it the only text that was inside was "by Simon ;)".
I logged to his machine and checked the last command ran on the file:
echo "by Simon ;)" > linuxtasks.txt

Case 4:
The girl here uses a MacBook. She keeps getting confused with the terminal windows and rebooting her own machine instead of the remote VM.

Case 5:
Haven't checked yet how this happened but one of the interns deleted the gui from his local Centos.

Met a guy in the gym, he asked me to make him an online shop for supplements.
I quickly made a reactive, angular based shop with an admin page.
He paid, I put my name as the creator, it was all good...

...then he removed all legal products and added tons of anabolic steroids for horses in little jars (yes, he even added pro level photos).

I received a call from the police and had to prove that I don't manage his content.

Today I found out that I could inject HTML into our documentation system.
I quickly tested it with the <style> tag by setting all paragraph tags to have eye bleeding red backgrounds.
Then when seeing that it works I've made a modal that displays a blinking red alert with the headline "Access Denied!", a loading bar that says "Tracing intruder IP..." and another line "Erasing confidential information.. .".
Then I've added an animation to run on all paragraph, heading and list tags - first they bounce and then the become transparent.

Then I asked one of the interns to go to that specific document - one of the longest and most important manuals they have access to.
I then left the room and through a window watched the poor, panicking guy looking into the abyss and "realizing" that he somehow deleted the important files and will be traced down soon.

I had to tell him the truth to avoid a suicide in the office.

It was perfect! I will definitely do this to others! :D

I code using Vim to avoid memory leaks.
Nothing leaks outside Vim. Nothing ever leaves.

Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.

Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.

CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
IT: *ignores*
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*

After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.

IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".

👋

🎤

The programmer and the interns part 3.

Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.

I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.

Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.

Without further delay,

Case 0:
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.

Case 1:
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Does nothing.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.

Case 2:
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.

Case 3:
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.

Case 4:
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.

Case 5:
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.

Case 6:
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.

Let's quickly talk about idiots.

> A simpleton coworker of mine installed Ubuntu on his brand new ThinkPad with a touch screen.
> Asks me to show him the Linux games site I mentioned earlier.
> I see that he has no browser installed.
No Firefox, Chromium, Epiphany, etc.
> Now I know that he has a room temperature IQ and something moronic is going to happen.
Truth be said, I subliminally desired a terminal based browser.
> Then he fucking opens Wine and I shit you NOT! That thundercunt opens...
> Internet Explorer!
> I punched his screen.
> No longer a touch-screen laptop.

Noob!!!!

A buddy of mine left his sudo user unlocked... I had to troll...

This is the coding rig for everyone that claims himself THE REAL PROGRAMMER (and everyone else except him is just an idiot, a noob or a kiddo).

Stack Overflow users in a nutshell:

*8 months ago*

Noob: "How can I do this with Javascript?"
SO User: "You should use jQuery. Here's how to do this in jQuery."

*Now*

Noob: "How can I do this with jQuery?"
SO User: "jQuery is redundant now. Here's how you can do it with Javascript."

Lamer rant

For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.

Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.

Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!

Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.

Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.

Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!

Fkk...

Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!

F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!

Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!

I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.

British development domain name?
".oi"

Noob Noob :)

Mutual on Tumblr: So what distro do you use?

Me: Zorin OS. I really like it. I'm even considering deleting my windows partition.

Mutual: Really? That doesn't count as a proper distro. Real Linux users only use Zorin on a virtual machine. Use Mint or Kali or something.

Me: It counts. It's not different from any other distro.

Mutual: It's okay to be noob. You can always ask me for advice.

Me: But I've been using Linux for about two years. I don't consider myself a noob.

Mutual: If you're using a shitty distro, then you're a noob.

Me: Okay. Thanks for the advice. (In my mind: fuck off already.)

I don't understand the issue with Zorin OS. Is it because it looks like windows or something? :/

How I learn how to use VIM

We have a customer that runs an extremely strict security program, which disallows any type of outside connection to their servers.
In order to even correspond with them via email you must undergo background checks and be validated. Then you sign an NDA and another "secrecy level" contract.

Today they had a problem, I was the one assigned to fix it. I asked for a screenshot.
We already use an encrypted mail service, which runs via a special VPN that has enough layers of protection to slow down a photon to the speed of a snail.
The customer's sysadmin encrypted the screenshot and sent it to me.

I open the screenshot and....
He runs Windows 10, uses Google Chrome and has Facebook's WhatsApp desktop app flashing orange in the tray.

😐😣😫😖

Got invited to a "roundtable", where we will discuss email security and the future and direction of where it is going.
Only 10 people in Sweden got a chair

I feel exclusive but also scared that they will find out what a noob I am lol

I am not experienced enough to make sins, I make mistakes.

Hello, guys.

I'm here is new. I'm from Russia. Sorry for my English, but i will learn his and talk you all about think.

Noob moments #0
The first time you try to pronounce nginx

CTOs be like:
We don't need no backup station,
We don't need no source control!

curiousity almost killed my computer

Was asked to check the sales team server as it was running slow.
Apart from redundant processes and users with too much permissions I found a "Cobol" folder under one of the sales team member's home folder.

If it weren't the sales people I would immediately disregard this as trolling but with them it's quite possible that this is a real attempt to learn programming...
...most likely from the facebook ads with the hooded guys that offer to teach you to code in 10 days for $800.

When my friend trolled me just because I was a noob with Linux command line...

To fix your problem you must run:
sudo apt-get purge sudo

And then I tried reinstalling sudo with....
sudo apt-get install sudo 😲

A recruiter called today.

A new job proposal. Higher salary, manage some 5 men team, DevOps buzzwords, cool product, great conditions but then she says "and we're working only in Windows environment".

My ears ringed "only in windows env".. "only windows"... "windooowwssss".

"Nope, thanks, have a good day!" - hung up.

In programming what is the difference between an expert programmer and a noob??

- they both Google when they're stuck but expert knows what he's searching for and noob learns about what he's searching for!!

To the fucking noob experts !!

Had a heated argument on whether HTML’s a fuckin programming language or not and he claims to have 8 years experience...

Fuck bro, that dense? Everyone knows its a fuckin markup language

Noob: I hate $foo language! It sucks!
Me: Have you used the language before?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: have you tried using it?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: so how do you know it sucks?
Noob: because all my friends that use $baaa says it sucks.
Me: ........ I see your point... sheep 🐑

Today I learnt that my LG Nexus 5X uses a Samsung manufactured DRAM :O

I had no idea that several Google and Apple devices use Samsung manufactured RAM chips!

PS - Don't judge me, I'm a hardware noob.

Shit fucking noobs

bool x = false;
bool not_x = x ? false : true;

Fucking pro noob shit!

Noob mistake, forgot the rename an HTML file to a .php file; was wondering why things weren't working at all.

-made a password-protected zip to backup my homedir
-launch the update to Fedora 28
-oh look Jessica Jones season 2 is available on Netflix

...

Some hours later

-Fedora 28 boots
-copy back my backup.zip
-shit what's the password already
-proceed to bruteforce the zip
-let's go back to Netflix while it's doing the job

...

Some hours later

-password: test
-proceed to self-fuck

Noob: Your pc? 32 bit or 64?
Me : x64
Noob: Haha, mine's x86 😎
Me: 😓

Me right now trying to figure out WordPress. I'm a total noob

I'm noob master 69

!Rant

Learning Processing and Generative Art , still a Noob but loving it.

It's awesome what Code can do.

Laziest dev thing I've ever done.

An annoying "I-do-nothing-but-delegate-and-make-fuzz" manager proposed to create a new application with redundant functionalities, that would take me at least half a year to build.
Practically, the app would never be used and I didn't want to put effort in that monstrosity.

So, naturally I...

Pressure the right people, schedule numerous meetings, become the project manager for all internal applications and... I cancel the project.

With time, I have come to the realisation that when a person says he knows C++. He's either a noob or god!

What could be worse when Technical Manager forcing you to write SQL Scripts inside C# Code as:

List<String> items = SELECT * FROM table

And not accepting to argue with me as I am a noob according to him

Noob God.

Noob: "Hey guyz! Im now a hacker! Look at this cool script"

Legit programmer: "oh wow! How does it work?"

Noob: "I have no idea. I found it on the internet "

LP: .........

Coworker was told to shift code from private repo into company repo. She literally copy pasted all the files into the other repo. 😁👍

FUCK!

I just finished a 3500 characters rant. Was typing a tag and the app crashed!

cout<<"Hello devRant world";

//omg this place is so cool!!!

Me vs a government employee in India...
Me: You should have setup net banking on your website. I had to travel 20 miles to get to your office to make a payment.
Employee: Sir, we do have net banking enabled.
Me: I searched all over your website but couldn't find it.
Employee: Oh! Well, I guess it stopped working since it rained yesterday.

Well... I found the bug...
Thanks Sun/Oracle for the clever API design. ;)

Also... I feel like a noob now :D

Got rejected and humiliated during a job interview by a team leader. Depression hit me so hard that I began crying as soon as I got out of the company building. I feel like there's no place for a fucking noob like me.

Me trying to use Linux for first time:
Sudo node index.js
access denied
Sudo shutdown
access denied (noob)
Me: im going back to Windows now....

I am a New student in a programming school. Haven't coded enything ever. Use 1 week to make html, css and JavaScript website from scartch. *Happy for my achivement* curent teacher comes to review my work. Tells me it's shit. Teacher uses only ready maid templates... Fuuuuuu

When I was still a noob programmer, I was working on a website for a big client. We had a demo coming up in big city. So we drove there several hours and went to their office. All the management board and shareholders and what not were there.

So we started the demo. Everything had worked perfect the night before. But on that day, we were right away greeted with some stupid PHP error right there on the first page. Had to fix it quickly so we could continue with the demo, so I logged into their production server with SSH and started fixing the code with vim. I was connected to the projector, so my horrid noob code with cringy joke comments was there for everyone in the room to see.

Eventually got it working, but I saw several people in the room facepalming hard. Can't ever forget the day. :D

Finally got my Hackintosh working. Took me fuckin 3 days to figure out how to get the sound working lmao

Sometimes it's just disgusting to explain something to a noob who doesn't take your advice into account and continues to look for information from unreliable resources.

My Rant life has just begun! Wish me luck!

Users be so noob sometimes.

"I keep telling you, I'm not a pilot"
"and I keep telling you, you fly boys crack me up!"

I'm not a developer, but I'm doing some complex things and I need the benefit of computers to work things out, so I know enough programming to get me by. Recently one of the uppers decided that all the amateur spaghetti python programs I'd quickly slapped together should be developed into tools that the clients engineers can use!

"How long do you need!."
" I have no idea how to make something like that",
"but it's all just maths right! you can figure it out",
"probably, given long enough bu.. "
"okay get started and we'll check in in a couple of weeks" "hold o.." "I'll give your pride and joy to the graduate to fuck up while you're working on that" "wai.. " "anyway got take this call, good luck"
┗|｀O′|┛

So here I am.. I have no idea what I'm doing.

So since I have a working knowledge of python, fortran and VBA, someone suggested I learn nim, which was not what he sold it as. Then a software engineer that went to the same uni as me, suggested RUST! you can't mess up rust, and look at this I created (shows me a decent looking desktop application) "I'll help you out". But it wasn't really that easy.

Then I asked some questions... that was my first mistake, that's not acceptable until you know what you're doing apparently. Especially when the answers are in the docs you can't find in a topic you don't understand for a version you're not using solved with a tool you've never heard of for an operating system you forgot existed. Look at this moron asking a question.

Okay to be fair, I went through the rust docs and it was well written, and I do really like this language. But I do not have a degree in computer science, and so many docs for crates are just written with an expectation of a certain level of knowledge. As soon as there's a build error, it's at least 3 -4 days of me faffing about trying to decipher hieroglyphics.

..and the graduate is about to unwittingly commit manslaughter..

I'm sure whoever needs to fix this mess in the future will post a rant about this train wreck.

Using 'single' quotes where others use "double".

Boss slides keyboard over to you during conference call. It's slightly crooked. Trying to punch in credentials without looking like a noob... impossible.

Using Sololearn: feel like a pro.
Open Devrant: feel like a noob.

Everyone is getting too sensitive. Soon enough you can’t call someone a noob or a junior.

Hi, I'm new to devRant. That's perfect because I love to rant about everything.

So, let this be my first rant:

Apache Velocity + last minute rush + heatwave - climatisation = Hello Migraine my old friend...

**noob alert**
Hi all, I'm new to this community. I found it out couple of days back while downloading some apps on play store. And I don't know how much time have I spent here since then... Damm, I've an interview after 2 days.

My query is, I am stuck/confused. I have so many ToDos. ToDos to learn new things, from UI to other langs to machine learning to database to etc etc. And I keep on postponing it because I can't decide which way to go first. There is so much fuzz about BigData/AI which sounds cool. Sometimes I want to build UI for my imaginary idea, then somebody says a man must learn linux and DB. Top of that I'm preparing for interviews, so I think I should get a job first and then start learning. But when I get a job, I get *busy* with job. It feels like Captain America, all he does is official work. I sometimes feel like trying open source coding, but quit the idea because I get scared or overwhelmed by imagining the big community behind it and I won't be able to make a difference or I might get bashed by others as I get bashed in StackOverFlow :-(
I'm unable to get help from friends/family/colleagues, not because they are bad. It's just they don't get it. People think just because you have a job which pays the bills and save money, everything is fine because there are lots of people who dream to get a job, so be thankful for what you have. I'm thankful... But it's not helping. I really want to do things more than what my job asks me to. The kid inside me is awake since I became adult.

Have you been in this condition or is it just me? Or is it too confusing? Could you please help me out. Thanks a lot. Sorry for serious post. I'm a java programmer by the way.

!rant

Joined a couple hours ago. Really excited to be here, I'm not usually the social type (fb, twitter, etc) but this looks like a place that will be able to understand my frustrations !

You are all invited to the SPI-Party!!!!

*crying.... this is not my job, i am less than a noob around here 😭😭*

noob misconception #527: during my first hackathon i didn't know what version control was (i thought github was this magical elite hacker tool), so id copy my code into a google doc every few minutes along with a timestamp 😫

I don't know if it is that I just hate xcode or if I'm just a noob at working with it, but it feels like this

planned a project,
spent a whole day on a feature.

3 weeks later, i realise that feature i spent a whole day on wasn't needed at all.

i'm a fucking noob ape trying to pretend it's a developer or some shit.

So I was reviewing my old code. Refactoring and improving the documentation.

This is a production app that is being used 24/7/365.

I see myself using "bar = foo" and there's even an explanation of what it does.
Apparently I resolved a relatively difficult Date object issue and had to use temporary variables.
Didn't know how to call them and ended up with these jewels.

I was part of a on-call rotation. We had ~800 microsites with decent traffic on this one box, because that's a good idea...

One day the box was experiencing kernel panics and causing core dumps. After exhausting every possiblity I decided it was time to restart the box:

sudo shutdown now

Missed the -r and the box was not accessible remotely. Had to wait for someone at the data center to terminal in.

Downtime was ~2 hours.

This was caused by a crontab that automatically ran apt-get update & apt-get upgrade... Also made by me... None of this should have worked or allowed to be done!

My first time working with Java and SQL queries(SQL with little/no knowledge): created separate db for each entities and hoped it to work together after the coding was finished.

what a noob!

Slange var my dudes.

Any favorite liquors/sanity juice to reccommend for a noob dev?

Noob here!
Is Python a good place to start coding at?

Might be nothing for others, but I finally published my Vue website with the following setup:
1. Vue inside docker
2. Nodejs API inside docker
3. MongoDB inside docker
4. Nginx as reverse proxy
5. Let's Encrypt

6. NO I WILL NOT SHARE THE LINK, don't want to be hacked lol and it is for personal use only.

But I'd love to thank devRant members who have helped me reach this point, two months ago I was a complete noob in Vue and a beginner in NodeJs services, now I have my own todo website customized for my needs.
Thank you :)

I work mainly with Java AND JavaScript (separately).
I hate it when people think I mistake them in a conversation.
Makes me think they are treating me like a fool or a noob.
I really hate it.

Today was not a good day for me at all ,being considered a junior developer is not a good thing.
Yes I know due to my lack of the understanding of your 3 years old code base I could not meet up with the deadlines.
So as a punishment one of our senior devs asked me to bring my chair to his desk and told me to commit and push my progress every ten minutes .
He'll then review reading each code line by line ., Reverting too.
The worst part was that for the ten minutes I'll need to wait another 5 , because he was watching some Fifa19 gameplays on YouTube.
This went on for 3 hours .

It worked because I feel like a title noob today .

Hello (World)! Noob here. I installed devRant around 5 days ago. I just keep reading the rants and didn't created my account because i was not sure if i will stay here for long time coz most (cr-)apps are boring.

After 5 days:
I owe all of you a tons of '++'.

I want a boss like @Linux have. (i know tags work only in comments)

Gonna stay here till i stay in IT industry.(maybe)

Set up a server, code for hours using node and Mongo trying to realize your dream. FINALLY complete it after a lOOOng time of blood and sweat..

Then find out that a Noob who didn't know the first letter of web programming used FireBase and did what you did in a fraction of the time

I think I've reached the point where I can question what I've done, my purpose in life and.. As for my confidence I think it successfully descended during my last visit to the bathroom

Any other noob coder here trying to gain the mindset of the pros, enjoy the environment although he doesn't get half the jokes and rants, and trying to fake it till he make it? (:^/)

Godmotherfuckingshitpissballs fuck software development. Seriously wtf.

I learned c# and Unity for 4 fuckin years. Now I want to learn Electron and i just cant get it to fuckin work that motherfucker!

Installed node.js into a folder on my Desktop, git cloned the quick start app, copied the files, npm start and wow it starts.

ONCE.

It does not start anymore wtf? Also the stupid tutorials that I bought dont fuckin explain how to set it up properly wtf...

Doesnt help that im a windows noob and the guy in the tutorial is a macSnob.

Goddamnit I hate this phase of learning stuff. It fuckin sucks.

Also software development is around for like what? 30 years and electron is the best solution for GUI that people came up with? Fuck me.

just realized puting else continue in my while loop was redundant. lol

Going to Jump head-on, without a helmet to Linux.
Starting with Linux Mint because I'm a complete noob.
Starting with a Boot from a 64Gb Usb3 very expensive drive.
If I like it... then moving permanently next week.
I'll tell how this noob goes :p

How would you handle a noob who hasn't committed in weeks and when he does, gets like a million conflicts.

Everyone I start feeling like a badass programmer and I can take over the world, there's another programmer that comes out of the woodwork and make me feel like a noob. Why do I even try. Fuck your way of doing things.

I'm a noob so I was dumb enough to google 'Eyeballs' in case it's a kind of tools that I don't known yet.
😕

You are a developer so can you hack a facebook account?
😒😐

!rant
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke."
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke."
Peer 1: "Why d"
Peer 2: "cken "
Peer 3: "road?"
Peer 4: "id th"
Peer 3: "cross"
Peer 1: "e chi"
Peer 5: " the "
Peer 2: "the o"
Peer 4: "To ge"
Peer 1: "side."
Peer 5: "ther"
Peer 2: "t to "

Got error: I am such a noob programmer, dumb, I hate my life, I hate programming... *cries like a kid*

Error fixed: I am God!

The more I learn about programming the more terrified I become about having huge knowledge gaps and learning something wrong by possibly making wrong assumptions about how certain things work or by falling on bad tutorials. I'm constantly hyped about coding, and at the same time I always feel I will never be able to say confidently "I know how to code".
How the hell do you make sure you are learning programming correctly as a self taught? Or do i just have to accept that no matter how and what I code there will always be a better way to do it, resulting in me constantly feeling as a low-skilled coder?

why did kotlin documents use these fucking idiotic font that combines 2 characters into one stupid looking icon? how is it friendly to a noob? how am i suppose to know how exactly am I suppose to input these piece of shit?

God commands:
0. Sudo
1. Shift + z + z

Unity or Unreal Engine... I am a noob to game dev. Please help

I want to get in the habit of proper documentation of my code, But i'm not sure how it's formatted, how it should look or how I should even begin writing documentation? Do I open a document and just take snap shots of my code and explain how it works? I'm a little confused. Do I take pictures of my UI and explain how to use it? Is it like writing a book?

That fealing when someone that picked from the graves an old project that you've started when you were just a noob developer... and then you look at the code... and then the shame.

Just inserted a setTimeout() inside a while loop, my browser didn't like it

Noob question here, I see that every single iOS developer around here is shitting on Xcode, but then I saw this today on my way to download PHPStorm. Anyone tested it? Thoughts?

AWS, Azure, Google Cloud or Digital Ocean?
Your views.

P.S: I'm noob.

Noob af

(Dev)Life in the past 12 hours

Oh boy have the last 12 hours been a roller coaster ride for me. Noob me decided to "compile" AoSP for my device to get a taste of how custom ROMs are built from source. Overall it was fun but the errors were a very good excercise for googling, SO. Couple stuff I learnt ( possibly useful for anyone who comes here )
* The shebang line ( #!/usr/bin/env python ) on my system translated to Python 3.7 environment instead of the expected Python 2.7. Best solution I think to avoid confusion is to create a python 2.7 environment and source it.
* Get your trees right. A jar file called WfdCommon.jar ( apparently known as wifi-display common ) was the cause of several hours of hunting the fault. My vendor tree somehow didn't have this file so dex2oat was borking out like mad. I'm still amazed how I figured this one out almost by myself. ( Basically I had to check every file included in the boot class path, and find the odd one )
* I wasted a lot of time in finding the right files to change version numbers and all. Maybe I didn't search XDA properly for a guide ?

Overall it was a fun experience. Also if anyone's experienced in this area could you share resources to learn more about custom ROM development? Specifically on the tweaking part where you mix features from different ROMs to make a great ROM ( like AoSP extended or Pixel Experience ). All I could find were on the zips and not on sources.

The new software to log in working time at my workplace requires Silverlight. I'm on Ubuntu. Basically after weeks of googling and trying different solutions, I decided that the easiest way to make it work was to install a virtual machine running Windows.

Right now I'm just trying to understand if there is some obscure reason for which they used Silverlight or if I'm just a complete noob who doesn't know jack.

The picture says it all...

Today I am going to install Ubuntu on my girlfriend's computer as she want to start learning basics of Linux. Any other distro recommendations for a noob in Linux?

So looking to get started on c++ but have a noob question.

Is there a difference between c++ in Linux vs Visual Studio C++...

kinda don't want to install a Linux OS/cygwin to do it, takes too much space

What linux distro would you recommend to a complete noob at linux?

Am I the only one who frequently forgets to hit the insert key again when I'm done with it and then go and accidentally overwrite some other stuff unintentionally?

As a dev fresh out of college, it's going to be awesome when I start to understand some of the high level jokes on here.

Any good resources for sql?

Im getting heavy into databases. Im a noob but i need to reach top level quickly.

Im gonna buy 1 oelr 2 books. Im leaning towards oreillys “learning sql“.

Any suggestions?

I don't want to sound like a noob but can I learn python without any other programming languages

Too noob to actually use a text editor for all prog languages. I use IDEs depending on the one I'm coding.

JavaScript devs, what questions do you ask or been asked during interviews?

To be honest, HTML seems easier than it looks, but as a noob, I know I'm wrong in one way or another

react Noob : enough is enough,lets give up this hell🏃🏃

create-react-app : hey wait a sec dude.👼😇

"Aww yeah, Bootstrap 4 is coming!"

Shut up bitch! I started 2 years back with web development when I was a noob and since then you are coming.

* wakes up fresh & excited *

To Myself: Will code like a pro all day 😎

* End of the day (Finally) *

Lets compile 😋

Errors: 37 Warning:8 [-_-!]

* Goes to bed & sleeps forever * 🤐

#Noob_alert 😂

WARNING: I am a n00b at this crypto shit!

I've decided I might dable in cryptocurrency mining for a little and see what comes of it but have no clue how to start... Can someone point me in the direction of anything that could be helpful?

I am a noob as of now. So much to learn! So little time. Its so difficult to juggle between learning new things and academics!

I had a CS teacher in college who was constantly learning and testing himself in order to catch up. He was also my favourite teacher ever. Coincidence? I think not.

"Wow! Programming must be easy! Why did you charge us costly?"

Just because I work at home and talking to myself does not mean it easy...

PS. even now I still feel like noob in programming

You know that feeling when the junior programmers do their job quickly, properly, and elegantly just like how you would have done it? :)

Yeeeeah, me neither. What the fuck is this dog shit?? God dammit! Why we have 2MB of CSS?? Do you even you this jQuery plugin?? What do you mean frontend.php and frontend2.php?? Why is this block of code indented all the way to the right?? "Just 1 bug left" OH REAAAAALLLYYYYY?

I took the screenshot of the desktop and set it as wallpaper and removed all the icons, set the taskbar to autohide. Noob guy scratched his head for 5 mins wondering what was wrong. 😂✌😛

Best shops a dev could find.

MRW I start Index of an array with 1 and not 0 and I get out of index exception.

Oh, as a noob dev my team was using a dropdown library for our filters in the website. The code was messed up cause they kept changing the design halfway through dev and after releases and then finally after some releases, the client wanted multilevel options as a new requirement.
So I scrapped the whole thing and made my own multilevel dropdown component (there were no decent libraries then) and we used that from then on. It has many issues now that I look back (who cares about keyboard interaction right?). But that is a refactor for another day.

Noob here! nice to meet you :). Hope to learn python!
Any suggestion?
Thank you so much and greetings from florence, Italy :)

[serious] I'm a Windows guy. Been so my whole life. devRant community, I'd like to start playing around with Linux. As someone who has never done that before, where should I start? We're talking total noob. Thanks in advance.

Positive reviews are ok.
Compliments are weird.

I love receiving good reviews on my software.
(negative but constructive feedback is welcome as well, of course)
But receiving compliments, especially in person is really weird.
On the one hand I know that I did a good job, I know that the features are useful and the UI is classy and comfortable. On the other hand I still feel not comfortable receiving compliments for doing something good.
I don't have any social awkwardness and yet this feels so weird.

Am I alone at this?

Its not like I'm jealous ..
honestly I am not paying.. but when I see noob devs getting higher salary in my company .... I just feel frustrated.. Like wtf..

As a noob developer, shifting to robotic isn't a really good experience

Sooooo... I've felt a bit lost during my years as a student and maybe this is a nice place to finally talk about it.
I've had my first programming experiences in school (back then it was delphi, a Pascal variant), then decided after graduating I want to study computer science. I've stuck with it and will finish my masters degree in a few months. (Took me a year longer than the university plans but will likely have a very good grade)

Since i have little programming experience and never coded anything useful (mostly study projects or simple programming tasks) I've always been struggling with depressions, worries of being not good enough and never finding a job etc pp, but in the last few months it got worse since I NEED to apply for jobs now as i graduate next may. I'd really like to improve and found some "learn how to code" websites but the progress seems still slow and meaningless when I compare myself to all those guys out there:
- those comparing several hardware/software pieces casually since they know all the (dis)advantages and specs off by heart
- those who have fierce discussions about languages, libraries, runtimes etc
- those who solve the problems in coding websites with 3 lines and incredibly mathematicsl proofs for why this shortcut works (fastest)
- basically the guys who discuss so many things i've never even heard of

I just feel so lost, useless and like i missed years of learning things everybody else just obviously knows now. Is there any way to catch up? I thought about trying to join a local Chaos Computer Club but they sound like they wouldn't be fond of a noob like me.

That moment when you see devs ranting and google out phrases to understand what they mean.

Why does everyone dislike php and WordPress?
-A Noob dev

Noob: How do I start my career in web development, do I do a course in Coursera, Udemy, or...
Me: Don't do any of this, use Mozilla MDN web doc.
I really wish the younger me followed this advice when starting up...

I get being a noob and trying to learn but don't be a lazy ass by not even knowing if the library you're wanting to use is available for the language you're using it in.

Don't be this guy.

Noob advice

Learning AngularDart, my thoughts:
1. Fucking hell I feel like a noob + I like it
2. I still prefer Vue + Typescript tho

I used to think I was a great programmer, then I joined a computercraft server, it makes you feel like an absolute noob 😕

Best Linux distro for a dotnet developer and complete linux noob. Also if it can be really pretty?
😃

everytime I run a program

My biggest fear is once I start to learn another programming language is ill confuse it with the one I already know or have to unlearn habits that work well in my "native" language and it will be hard to go back. How do you guys do it?

I'm not any kind of developer (yet), but I'm learning and this awesome site realy helped me to understand more about this industry from inside and I want to do this even more than before! =D

Mining-Noob-Exp. #2

Didn't found a simple mutpli currency read only wallet viewer to just quickly have a glance the current courses and your balances, so I wrote it quickly (and dirty) by my own 😋

Planning to write a stable Sail application of this idea

some days are very frustrating , i had a task today in which client want a page where he can add bulk of car details on the same page.
now jquery fucked me.
I want to do something to release stress. Why do I get stuck at shitty problems sometimes ?
Damn I'm a noob programmer

Hey.. I am new to this Community.....Expecting....A good environmental setup😄

I freak out when I see cryptic maths notation.

When you're a total noob and only knew about an html, scss and js file when it comes to websites but then you see an actual website of a company with all separate scss files for components and you feel so overwhelmed... yeah... rip

When he busts out this bad boy, you know he’s either a hardware prodigy or a complete noob.

in my first days of codeblocks, I pressed the 'run' button insted of 'BUILD and run' ....I always got a hello world.

i love how Linux marketshare doubled from 2018 And Windoes lost a ton. Ms is even starting making more noob Software for Linux to milk more in the future.

All the stackoverflow users recommending jquery plugins for everything (back when I was a noob) It would be so much easier to learn js without them.

Just remember, the guy that wrote JavaScript was a noob too

Hey guys, I'm a noob developer (learning Java for a year now), I've come to the end of my year and I'm trying to think challenging project for myself but something that is plausible to do. I've made simple things like text editors and quiz games in the past but I would like to make something that is somewhat useful...

Any help would be greatly appreciated! :)

I don't wanna be ridiculed for this, but I have really been meaning to ask. What is people's obsession with the dark theme? It seems like such a noob thing to do.

Light Ide:- GRHH!! M hurt! M hurt! My life is nothing...M a noob...
Dark ide:- woaahh!! Pleasant! M a pro coder

I'm a noob, and I made a silly website for my classmates, but they never use.

!rant

After my HDD failed last week. I replaced it with an SSD, upgraded my RAM. I wanted to install Arch but I am a noob in linux so I stuck with Manjaro.

I am just loving XFCE and AUR. 😍

Mah noob wannabe language designer side here again...

...Idea: Automatic/implicit interfaces.

1. do you know a language that has (something like) this?

2. good idea or a bad idea? why?

3. thanks :)

How much CSS and JS should I know to call myself a full stack dev ?

find missing colon, type colon.

Hi there everybody! Just joined the community, an aspiring Java developer (just started learning a few months ago so I am nowhere near calling myself a "Developer"). I'm committed to becoming a developer, and I am trying to join every community and every conversation out there possible to immerse myself as much as I can. Any advice, guidance, people/conversations here to look out for, anything that will help me in my Journey would be greatly appreciated!

I've switched from pycharm to sublime to vsocde in a month, now vim is catching my eye, my mentor will kill me if i started using vim now but it's freaking interesting, will be learning a little bit of vim, will stick to vscode for long term i guess.

Recently started an apprenticeship as software developer and tried to build something with JavaScript... aka. copy pasted a bit and after a while my brain kept shouting at me: "YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING, TAKE A FKIN BOOK AND YOU'LL MAYBE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOURE DOING THERE!" - and I did... turns out that the book is quite old and I finally landed on Codecademy - now I make progress :).

Made some smaller things in other languages before, but never really understood things like objects and classes... codecademy helps! And I can already laugh about some things here :D. This app is great! I feel like I'm part of "something".

Have a nice Day :)!

I really hate being treated like a junior noob based on years of experience and timidity.

It's not because I don't express myself often that I know nothing. It's not because I haven't been working for long that I don't know sh*t.

People sometimes..

So my recruiter decided to calc his own bruto salary(gross) over my netto one...

Turns out he missed about 800 euro in his conversion ratio... Motherfucker ... That sets me back 5 years in salary u asshole 😶

Well thanks....
So I might be a complete useless noob, but android studios help messages are not really helping at the moment either.. 😅

Why is my the fingerprint for my public ssh-key seen not as a sha256-fingerprint?

Left: Windows
Right: Raspberry

body {
overflow: hidden;
}
// For noob designers

Never knew ww1.localhost.3000 is registered until a noob in our team tried to access the local dev server :(

This happened when I was in the first semester of my study (I'm currently studying Computer Science).

Didn't understand anything, never learned to code before. My first "project" from my lecturer was to write a mini-journal together with two friends of mine (which weren't able to code either) about the link of VR use with the increase/decrease of the user's heart rate.
We didn't find any way to record the user's heart rate automatically and periodically. The deadline was getting closer but thankfully we found an android app that can be used to detect someone's heart rate with the user's finger pressed onto the camera. Sadly the app can't be used to record the data periodically (it can only show us the average heart rate). We told my lecturer (who is supossed to "guide" us here) about the problem and asked him for solutions.
He told us to "modify the .apk and connect it to a database".
At this point, we didn't even know how to make a database, let alone "modify the .apk".

In the end, we used an oximeter, recorded it, and listed the results manually. 😂

Some noob in some part of the world responsible for migrating a DB used by an application I developed forgot to migrate permissions apparently and now I can't access the db and he's sleeping while I get a million mails from clients😑😑😑

Very noob question. I started using git/github for my classes in Python, but I dont see why is it any better than google drive or onedrive, since you can also send multiple archives and have it synced to your computer without having to "push". Why is it so popular and needed?

Quite new here. Is this more of a "I fkud up things, wanna here them" community or can questions to specific problems be asked here too?

!rant

Any Xamarin devs here? I wanna learn Xamarin but couldn't find any good books or tutorials. Any suggestions? And are there any special requirements to learn Xamarin other than C#?

P.S. I'm learning UWP development now. And you can still call me a noob.

Got my first upvote in kaggle. I know it's not much but it feels good

Devs with gaming mice.
What hotkeys / macros do you use?

For years I've been using gaming gear with additional buttons to map various hotkeys and macros to speed up my work flow.

Let's share the use cases here.

Tfw you accepted a project you thought you "can" work on, but over time it turns out that you won't be able to finish the project on time.

:')

Using this holiday time as a means to study

Guys. In your experiences. What makes a good DevOps engineer?

any new programmers here??

Been trying to learn Docker when I hit a brick wall. How do I use nginx reverse proxy + letsencrypt with multiple containers? I only managed to do it with a single container. Using docker-compose or stuff like that I guess?

switching from C# / managed C++ to pure C++ in the new project feels like being relocated to an outpost in the wild west.
now i have to think about so many things the C# compiler would just have cared for, and all this hassle before i can actually address the problems that i want to solve. already ran into some weird memory overflows. i'm actually happy to learn something new, but it still feels really inefficient.

Can anyone suggest good book for learning how an os works
Working of microprocessor
Unix
C
C++
book for complete software development form noob to expert