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Search - ""i am the clown""
Can someone just please come over and safe me? I am soooooo done with all this bullshit code. I understand why people loathe PHP, it enables totally worthless people to carry the title 'programmer' because hurrrdurrr look at my website, I made this. Fuck yes, you made that and you should SHAME yourself! What the actual flying fuck I can't begin to explain the monstrosities that I find checking out this worthless pile of fucking garbage.
User passwords saved as plaintext in database? Check!
Using hungarian notation, camecase and snakecase inconsistently? Check!
Typejuggling like you're the mainman of the Insane Clown Posse? Check!
Everything is a mess, there is no documenation, no consistency no nothing, this is straight from the 9th circle of programmers hell.
Aaaaaaarghhhhh I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WORTHLESS PILE OF GARBAGE!!!!
The original dev prefixed every spagetthifile with his copyright shite so im gonna look him up and highfive him in the face with my laptop and after that printing out my resignation letter in comic sans fontsize 78 because FUCK YOU
I booted up windows yesterday night to play some games which is weird for me since I am almost never in the mood
It had to update for like four hours automatically without asking me first so I leave it on and just go to bed
Next day, not really in the mood to play games, as usual
I go to restart into superior distro: Linux
Computer reboots into windows
Try again: fucking windows
Another: malware fills my screen once again
This fucking ass clown overwrote grub
This fucking piece of shit malware deleted my fancy dual boot screen and had the balls to casually say "Hi" while it did it
I then remembered my laptop doesn't have a keyboard combination to select what to boot from. I have to fucking boot my laptop by pressing a pinhole on the side so I can select linux.
Fuck Lenovo with their shitty button and fuck Windows
On the bright side, I guess if anyone steals the laptop they'll never know I have a second OS on it.
In a tiny galaxy far, far away there is the huge company XL and the tiny XS where I work, competing and sometimes cooperating. Both use the same horrible customer administration software called Y which is a windows-oracle mess but has a huge amount of complex domain specific business logic built in. So it can't really be replaced, just worked around.
XL have their work arounds, I am sure. We have ours but it's old and have needed to be replaced for years, let's call it The Problem. I am the guy who is supposed to keep it working while we wait for the right moment to build a new one. I always get called in to deal with The Problem at the last moment. It's only needed a few times a year. It's never a priority except at these times and then well, there is time only for the quick fix.
Now The Problem was once a good solution, actually pretty well built. You can still see some nice touches. It talks to the shitty API provided by Y and makes the most of it. But The Prob is written in a language-framework combination we no longer use for new projects. So a major update does not get favoured, especially since the guy who wrote it left a few years ago. And a total rewrite is a big project.
So The Problem lingers in use.
The stake holder mostly cares about how it looks, talking about technical debt to them just makes their eyes glaze over.
A couple of outings ago the stake holder boss wanted the web user interface of The Problem to look the same as the one used by XL because we ran a cooperative campaign. I managed to make them look very similar. Got some praise for that even.
Since then Y:s API has been updated with some big breaking changes. API calls that The Problem depends on have been heavily modified, even completely removed. With some really crazy hacks I still managed to make it work, just one more time.
Of course I again complained a bit. I loved the response:
- XL:s solution looks almost exactly the same so I'm sure they run what we are running. Why do we have so much trouble with Y when they don't?
Nooooo! It looks the same but... I just don't know what to say. But I do know the joke is on me.
Fuck this fucking cum badger asshole and fuck that stupid fortnite game.
So it’s like 30 degrees inside my room and I am having trouble to fall asleep in such heat. Anyway, I was sleeping tonight and 4.30am I was waked by some screaming voice from other room. Yup, it was that buttmonkey chaser neighbor playing that bullshit fortnite. Turns out he was arguing with someone in game, and complaining about how she wastes his time...
8am I am getting ready go to work, and for fuck great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies he was still playing it, still arguing with someone and I met him going to the kitchen to take energy drink.
Just what the fuck you bitch, when do you fucking sleep and how playing that shit is not waste of your time you fucking douche clown? Hope you get fucking heart attack from lack of sleep and energy drink overdose...
Sleep is most important part of my routine and I will fucking ruin anyone who will try to interrupt it.2
Proper rant tonight... I was getting an upgrade to my home entertainment today. It needed an engineer visit. What a useless clown he turned out to be.
2 hrs after arriving, he left and things weren't working remotely right at all. But it was Saturday and he was off the clock so I had to suck it up. No option to back out either - it was all activated and I had to accept it.
He spent most of the time arguing with me about my home network was set up and how it was wrong and how it was important for the overall system to work. Being a geek and having done research, I couldn't understand this - that wasn't how it was meant to be, I knew. I accept my home wiring is a bit odd, but I've had a working system for years because it's all necessary.
After all the faffing about and purchase of some new powerline units (which I accept I needed anyway but where unrelated to this set up), looking more into it myself, it is now up and running correctly.
I am thoroughly pissed at the ineptitude of the engineer. He clearly doesn't understand how the system works. He doesn't understand how powerline works and how it's a life saver for people with awkwardly shaped houses or thick walls where Wi-Fi is useless. If he had, we would have had far fewer issues and I wouldn't have had the stress of thinking I'd killed our home entertainment and internet and there was nothing I could do about it.
I don't blame the provider (besides them clearly not providing adequate training). But this was arrogant uselessness. At least I had the knowledge to understand how it was meant to work and get it sorted myself.
Maybe it could be a useful sideline job if I get fed up with developing.7