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Search - "rich"
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Today my oldest son is 8 years old and with pizza and cake we discussed how to hack his friends tablet, star Wars vs star trek and how to hijack wifi networks when friends parents won't give password.
And he told me how to evade detection and bypass the schools filters that he figured out alone.
I feel so damn proud.11 -
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook10
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"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook4
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*Website exists*
Client: “I should be rich by now. Please fix.”
Me: “... Did you do any ... marketing?”
Client: “I don’t have money for marketing. That’s what the website is for.”7 -
People like this disgust me. I know one guy I worked with that bought his kid one of these, I asked him what for and he said: "there's that fortnite game everybody talks about"
Spoild brat.16 -
I have my own secret script hidden in a /batcave dir on the production servers. It fixes everything the other devs usually manage to screw up.
I call it Batman.bat2 -
Douche: So your a programmer ?
Me: Yes
Douche: Excellent, I have an idea.....
Me: No
Douche: cmon bro, week be rich, this screensaver so will make us tons of money
Me: I have a question.
Douche: corz man waddup
Me: do you use a screensaver?
Douche: no, why?
Me: *walks away angrily10 -
1. Finish my own game
2. Get a publisher
3. Get rich
4. Buy a big house with a swimming pool on the top and get 2 bisex girlfriends38 -
I got called into a "personal development" meeting with the department lead, apparently my vocal and innovative cursing during coding/debugging is disruptive to the entire floor.9
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How to present your app/library more positively:
It's slow and bulky -> "It's feature-rich"
It hardly does anything -> "It's lightweight"
It has no comments -> "It's self-documenting"2 -
Friend: You are a programmer, right?
Me: Yes...
Friend: I have a idea how we can become rich
Me: *not again*
Me: Ok tell me
Friend: Look, it is almost like Facebook, but...7 -
Person at work, staring at my keyboard: How much was it?
Me: The keyboard? Oh it's a cheap one for around $30.
Person: Huh... I'll never get you rich boys and your fads.
Well, I don't fucking judge you for your $600 phone, or your $80 shoes or shirts, you cuntwaffle. Fuckin' asshole has the face of a horse's left testicle, is always on his phone, which is arguably fine since he's not a dev but still fuck him, and has the gall to call me bringing my mechanical keyboard to work a 'rich fad'. Oh, that's rich coming from you. Ever seen your ugly mug in your undeserved branded clothing, you unloved, shit-gobbling piece of shit?
"You type so loud." And you breathe too loud but I don't tell you to stop but maybe I ought to.
Go suck on your daddy-uncle's chode for a couple more bucks and stop hanging around me, you judgemental cum-snorting piece of shit.
P.s. it's a cheap keyboard with blue switches but the office is normally noisy and busy enough that no one gives a shit about it. Planning on buying an Anne Pro sometime next month.27 -
Girl I met asked what I do for fun outside of work and training. Brain threw nullreference exception.8
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Security tester: Injects XSS into a rich text editor and flags it for a vulnerability.
"Oh that's fine, let's just disable right click on our page so no one can inspect the page and inject anything."
...
My boss ladies and gentlemen.9 -
Mouse pads are for poor people. Rich and genuine developers always use laptops.
*Walks off in a cloud of gold dust4 -
Me: Fix this for me and I'll send you a cookie.
Collegue: Deal!
(5 mins later)
Collegue: Done, give me cookie.
Me: send MUIDB4T.txt ..... Long cookie file on Skype.
( Munches chocolate chip cookie)
(Collegue stares in disbelief....)
Me: hey I Even gave you a big one.
( Passes cookie jar )1 -
Fucxing finally! Payday! I've been living below poverty line this entire month and it feels good to be rich again 😎27
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For years I've felt confident that my system was idiot proof with only one button to click through the process.
Today a user proved me wrong.7 -
Wish me luck guys I think this is it. I'm going to be financially set for real this time woohoo! Big thanks to my man billy6
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CEO and board members are in town for a meeting and getting shown around. They get to our area chatting loudly and CEO go "shhhh... Be quiet"
(Looney tunes voice)
Me: "we're hunting wabbits!"10 -
Sell 1000MB drives at the price of a 1000GB drive, and some people may think its a typo.
I'm about to get rich.14 -
Lost interest in work for the day, changed a co-workers upload function to target pornhub.
Now we wait....6 -
I am a junior dev and Elon musk inspires me to become rich and innovative. ^_^
Mark my words! Within next 5 years i will be super rich and setup my own company of genetically engineered catgirls <3
#wait_for_it!8 -
Fixed broken project into something that builds with check-in comment:
Unbroken builds ( also unicorn inside)
added ascii unicorn as I'm no liar.3 -
Rich CEO's are so out of touch with reality.
We outsourced part of our software development to a third world country. During hiring process I had pushed for us to hire the more expensive, more experienced devs in a second-world country, but nooo we must save up those bucks. The pay is so low you wouldn't be able to afford rent in *city where CEO lives*.
As @GiddyNaya has ranted about, third world countries face impossibly slow internet and frequent blackouts. I also ranted about it in my last post. The "last straw" for the CEO was when our dev's computer started malfunctioning.
boss: When is that computer from?
dev: 2017
boss: 2017?! That's a dinosaur! Of course you're having battery problems!
me, trying to come up with an affordable solution for our dev: Well, you can have the battery switched.
boss: But 2017 is too old! Your computer should be *at most* 5 years old. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have your work-related tools working. (last sentence is ad verbatim)
The boss, of course, recommended a Mac. Mind you, the closest Apple store to our dev is 500km away! And a month of their salary will not come close to paying a Macbook.
Providing them with the equipment? No! We're already paying them a "competitive" salary!
Like seriously, how out of touch with reality can you be? Does greed blind you that much?
(The dev seems to have fixed the computer problems on his own tho)14 -
Last day of vacation, decided to check my work email.... The list of things they've broken is.... terrifying, I don't want to go back... ever...3
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Tried browsing reddit on my new feature phone today, was not disappointed.
It has a surprisingly feature rich browser
http://html5test.com/s/...10 -
If I had a dollar for everytime I cussed at the computer screen because my code wouldn't work I'd be rich
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Today a user printed a pdf my system produced, scanned the printed pages and mailed the scan as pdf..... To me...
I'm physically hurting from seeing it...8 -
TMW you're asked to arrive one hour earlier at the office, so it can look "busy and innovative" to investors.
Some of us are just the toys very rich people play with.3 -
2 colleagues left the company and I got a pay raise, so that I stay. Getting more money without the fuss of changing jobs is awesome.3
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OS relationship(explicitly)
Windows is my girlfriend
Mac is that rich girl I always wanted to
Fuck
And
Linux is Side bitch that I only use when above are not responding8 -
Fighting against management is my daily struggle.
I reject the notion that more management, meetings and reports makes me work faster.
Want it done in time?
Stop wasting my time and interrupting me when I'm deep in complex thought. Let me do what's necessary and put in the hours if I have the energy and time.
But you damn better pay me for it.
I do not care for your praise, when I make the impossible happen time and again in days that would take months.
I expect your praise in the form of higher numbers going into my account.4 -
That sick feeling you get when you realise you could have been insanely rich and retired today if you had only invested in bitcoin early 🤢😭
1BTC reaches $10,993 AUD🤑🤑🤑7 -
Big News from corporate today, we are no longer making bots to replace people. We are now "virtualizing" the workforce.
I swear I'm living in a dilbert strip...2 -
I got a urgent call from a lead dev in another department. Needed data and services and her deadline was yesterday. I never heard of it, but worked late and got it done in 2 days. Delivery success, they had cake, speeches and praised my work apparently... I wasn't invited and didn't get any cake.5
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Secret job interview tomorrow, I've had it with this place and it keeps getting worse. Today they took away the last thing that made it liveable and forced me to have 5 hour longer days for the forseeable future. 3 of them with no extra pay.
I have kids I barely get to see today with longer days I will never see them.
Fuck this, I'm out.13 -
Spent 20 minutes on the phone to our server center in india spelling letter for letter who I was and what the issue is.
Finally she says: "Send me an email."
Me: "I did, you are calling me remember?"3 -
Chinese streamers stream on the street under the bridge. The reason? They stream near a rich neighbourhood, so the algorithm recommends them to rich tenants. They donate more.11
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Some days am broke 😣
Some days am rich 🤑
Some days am nice ☺
Some days I can be a d*#k 😠
Some days am strong 💪
Some days I quit 😞
But I get up and move on 🚶🏾
Coz am a PROGRAMMER 👨🏾💻2 -
Trying to get into better shape, for every bug I find I do 20 pushups or situps.
30 mins into debugging and i'm exhausted.2 -
I've been locked in a room with another dev for 2 days working like insane to remake a outdated crm system. Had to inform the department lead that the deadline isn't possible and we need another week. Got questioned about what we had been doing the past days, redesigned the database, migrated data, frontend etc. Boss goes "that's all you manager in 2 days?" We went in with 2 slides and had to design and plan everything from scratch.
I lost count of how many rounds and added complexity happened in 2 days when Customer came by. Now there is going to be a board meeting with PM as he complains that the project is taking too many resources and should be killed. I invited myself to that meeting to defend the work done. Hold my laptop and watch this.7 -
dad: why not a lawyer or doctor.
mom: is the pay good?
grandmother: so you're an engineer?
cousins: don't forget me when you become rich.
friends of family: I have an idea for an app :)1 -
Debugging async multithreaded apps is so much fun that I have a pile of hair on my desk that's been pulled out in frustration.
Considering making a wig to wear after I'm done. -
Why I hate my job: 18 out of 21 developers are Chinese daily smokers barely speak English.
Why I love my job: We build software/hardware to predict future earthquakes and save lives and hundred million or even billions dollars in damages. And of course make China super rich by selling it.10 -
Some years ago I was in cyber security in the military being shown some new tech for our use. Was challenged to try and get past it after being explained it's basics. Took me one long line in Linux about 10 seconds.
Anomaly detection firewall with machine learning seemed like a good idea.
Setting it to aggressive response and then change the package header to the firewall's own address however made it kill itself.
We didn't deploy that firewall that I know of.5 -
Boss says everyone praises my work and efforts, except when nearing salary discussions then I suck and have a lot of unstable issues apparently.
I really struggle to give a polite f... When praised.
Wanna praise me? Pay me!1 -
Today one person called me to ask if he could create a corporate email without buying the domain.
*More people that wanna be rich without spending a penny *4 -
"Son ur always sitting at home at computer, ur a computer guy so how come u didnt buy one of those crypto coins and become rich with all that computer knowledge you have. I hear in news all the time how people get rich with crypto. If i had the computer knowledge like you do i would be rich a long time ago. Why dont u buy crypto and be rich from it? U study computers so it should be easy for u to do it"
- dad
my blood before: 🩸🩸🩸
my blood after: 🩸🔥🩸🌋🩸♨️🩸🔥🩸🌋🩸♨️🩸🔥🩸🔥🩸6 -
Do you ever go into a public space and see everyone with their dell xps, acer swift 3, asus zenbook, msi gaming laptops, and then pull out your cheap af heavy plastic laptop and think to yourself:
"Why aren't I rich?"8 -
Being am IT guy inna fucking small & forgotten city.
This is my life. I don't know if it's a opportunity to be rich or just die crazy with my ideas burning my head.13 -
You're a programmer, why are you not rich? I guess we are a forum with people who are suppose to be rich huh?8
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PM: We don't need a spec. We'll figure it out as we go.
Me: O_O.... So what do you need the system to do?.....
PM: ( gives vague requirements)
4 weeks later I still no clue what they need.1 -
when my relatives know I'm studying IT:
"ooh, did you know that this guy made this and become rich, and this guy made this app and is rich now too, so why haven't you made anything yet?"
//its not that simple...3 -
Monday: coffee tastes like dead rat. And I wrote hacks around hacks in legacy code just to get it to last a little longer until the new system can be made.
The coffee left a better taste than my commit.1 -
Hobby at home... I feel I have MPD. Coding in php on Pi, C on Arduino, and C++ on Android to make my telescope an auto-focuser... Time to get usbip to work on Android
"If I were a rich man,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.…"
If I were a rich man, I wouldn't have to build it from scratch and could simply buy a $15,000 telescope which had an integrated one...11 -
My plan to become rich:
1. Create a library / framework that's really just an easy wrapper for other libraries.
2. Write a bunch of books / courses online teaching this "new" library
3. Market it to overpowered but impressionable PM's who'd fall for anything with the word "inovative" in it6 -
The dreamer : doer ratio
"I have a million dollar idea"
"That's cool!"
"I just need someone to do the work and I'll be rich!"
DO THE WORK YOURSELF!!!4 -
In this company we hire consultants to manage consultants Who spend their days in meetings with other internal consultants.
Wonder why profits are down, we need more consultants!1 -
While working I was munching from a bowl of candy, suddenly realized my face hurt and hard to breathe. Emergency room....
I apparently ate something I'm allergic to while in a code fog.
No idea what it was yet.
Must have been bad code.3 -
That feeling you get after battling css for the better part of two hours then, you finally have it work exactly the way you want it!
😊2 -
15 hour days, build is broken, laptop crashed and I ragequit by nearly throwing it out the Window.
Time to go Home. -
Added new hidden function in my service: If you don't reply with "thanks" after I send you requested data, I will not reply to your requests for 15 minutes.
Clients really need to learn some manners and I'm here to help.2 -
I really don't get all the Musk fans. I mean, sure you can find some value in Tesla or SpaceX, sure you can think theses companies are truly innovating. But why give all the credit to the rich businessman who seems to spent more time promoting himself than really working on science stuff, and not to all the ingeneers and creatives who are really putting some hard work on every day ? All Musk is really doing is running a business. He seems to do that pretty well, agreed, but after all it's "just" that: business. He's not the genius, nor the creative. He has money and invests it well, that's all.
I don't get why so many people give all the credit to him, even here on devrant where it should be logical to find more people supporting the real brains behind the tech.
"He has a vision about the future, he's imaginative..."
- Well that's bullshit.
Once again: he has money, a lot, and a certain skill about how to invest it (and about doing some proper marketing too), which companies to buy, etc. That don't make him such a great visionary about the future of the human being, just a great businessman. I'm sure you can find millions of people around the world with better ideas about the future, but they're not in his position. They're not rich, they're not CEOs, they're mostly unknown.
Stop follow the stream by glorifying businessmen just because medias are talking lot about them. Instead, know where the real talent (and work) is. Give credit to Musk employees, not to him.54 -
I'm just saying... The guy who decides to come up with the ".js" TDL, is gonna get rich preettyy faast...2
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Was assigned a project for my degree with 2 others. I was only one Who knew coding and development. 1 guy spent 5 months on YouTube and other one corrected my papers grammar and stressed out notes while I did everything else in development. Came out with an A, but pissed at YouTuber.4
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I'm lead frontend developer/ consultant on a big government project, it's 10 days to release and I couldn't make it to a dinner with girlfriends extended family.
Pretty sure I just got dumped as she doesn't want to be in the way for my work so she is packing her stuff and leaving my apartment tonight.
relationshipsFailedDueToWork++7 -
Overtime rant, I suspect they will try to denie me half of the overtime pay for the past week cause I did more than ordered to reach their arbitrary deadline.
I will in return offer to delete half the work I did. Rollback changesets and delete the code. -
With 3 weeks until deadline, been working massive overtime and under massive pressure.
My body just gave up finally, for 5 days I've been unable to get up at all.3 -
COO Snake ousts CEO, fires founders, is generally clueless about tech and product and design and science (and basically everything this business is about) and expected me to drop everything else I do (rich, varied and fulfilling) and work full time as a slave-nerd. Some people just don’t get it.
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Went to sleep early due to being up for 2 days to get work done and overtime pay to afford a nice vacation with the gf. Woke up to several messenger txts from gf about me not responding, ending with me being dumped.14
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I love how different figures in tech got really different reputations.
Take Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. We all love Elon.
What did they do different? What did they do wrong?6 -
Got a weird bug report, 6 red bull later i'm a energizer bunny on speed. But have found and fixed a severe underlaying bug. Can't believe noone had noticed for years.
Now i'm afraid to report it to my boss cause it most likely costed us a lot of money over time. And I just got shafted in the pay raise so my loyalty is low.2 -
Today I got more praise for adding a spinning animation while loading page than the 5 months of complex coding I've done so far.
Users are simple, look shiny, ignore that nothing works.1 -
Starting the week with a 3 hour meeting to discuss importing Customer data to a new crm, if I should be allowed to take the time to do it or not.
I finished it last week and already imported the data to the syst enviroment and scrubbed it.
I spend more time Waiting for meetings and attending than doing the work.1 -
Today I realized that a project that Ive worked on for years is now redundant and will probably be scrapped after my own new and more effective process hits production.
Im happy about that, no matter how good and hours spent. I made something better to replace it. This must be what finding a New gf after divorce feels like.1 -
I worked all weekend to reach a deadline monday for testing, fixed all issues detected and made the release document, change elements, everything required by end of tuesday. And sent it to release manager. He calls me back immediately and tells me the release Windows was closed monday and it will have to wait until next month. Noone told me the deadline for release changed, and the users are invited to a training and release event next week. Gotta love working for a huge company and being the little guy noone keeps informed. #releaseblocked
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Overtime weekend.
What kind of pizza gives the best dev performance?
I'm leaning towards Chicago style ham and shrooms for development and something heavier for debugging. What greasy pleasure makes your devengine purr?7 -
I postponed a job interview due to overtime stress at current job.
I want a New job cause I'm not being treated well and worked to death.
I think the exhaustion and sleep depravity is screwing with my priorities.
Why in hell did I postpone? -
Best hack... Think it was in high school when I figured out the eurobate free sms api was exposed and with my own php script could send as many free sms as I wanted and sms nuke friends.
Sms cost quite a lot pr message back then. -
Years later the supposed 'cancer' that is linux: a fully featured, and more and more polished FREE operating system running Microsoft development tools, a rich GUI which does away with the crappy windows 98 taskbar, multiple virtual desktops, and steam !25
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As a dev, I think nothing have made me better prepared or equipped for explaining technical issues and functionality to PMs and board members than having kids and explaining things on their level.
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I don’t just want to learn how to scrap together applications.
I want to become an engineer; one that can wear that badge properly.
I spent a day or two reading my peers code base in .NET Core to start learning its wizarding ways. I found myself emulating some of the patterns.
Then I found a tutorial series on putting together a correctly decoupled RESTful API...the same chap wrote an SDK for Azure CosmoDB.
THIS is what I am talking about.
I can’t believe these guys at work have twenty years C# experience between them and they are churning out this shit for more than 1.5x my salary.
I want to become this but I swear half the coding world does NOT care.4 -
Today I will be locked into a small room with an accountant, 2 computers and I can't leave until the new system is complete. Efficiency ftw if I want to see my kids today.1
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I really hate interruptions when i'm deep in my code. Headset on and blocking out the world, then get annoyed taps on the shoulder from boss for not greeting people.
So now i'm out of the zone, browsing devrant and have pissed off the boss for being anti-social.1 -
"Someone studied rich people for years and this is the five habits you should start having"
FFS, if I read this headline one more time...5 -
while( me.getStatus() != Status.RICH){
try{
Project p = createProject();
wait();
me.setStatus(p.getStatus());
}catch (GaveUpException e){
me.setStatus(Status.404);
}
** Warning: code unreachable **
System.out.println("I'M RICH!");2 -
I was working on email reporting to business customers and in the test phase was mass sending email to my own account. However it suddenly stopped working and it took me a few minutes to realize I had commented out the hardcoded line with my email address. I had to write to each Customer and apologize for the spam after my error. Also had to get whitelisted our email server after the incident with a few.2
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Usually I'd go grab a smoke and coffee and think up a solution while smoking.
I quit smoking 2 weeks ago, no idea how to fix it now. -
You know that coding - a primarily digital activity, is getting serious when you get out your pencil and paper IDE.4
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Stop whining about slow IDEs. If the IDE is running slow its because your shitbox computer is pissing it's pants. Get rich and buy decent hardware or use notepad and imagine the syntax highlight you cheap hook-nosed fuck. Fucking degenerate.8
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During the job interview faking your smile like you understand WTF they are saying. Deep inside your heart thinking why you are not rich and you badly need this job.
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work laptop without admin permissions to install anything, like a text editor, or IDE
why couldn't i have been born to a rich family instead of being a wageslave4 -
Religion is ruined by people.
God's bugs are our mistakes, the platypi, and turtle penises.
Nature is so much better without us, I enjoy programming but the users are polluting, wasteful, selfish useless beings removing resources from the Earth.
Sometimes I want to become a hacker and ruin rich people's lives.10 -
Wish we can shut down every tech product and service and start all over again. All the million dollar ideas are already realized and the only thing to do is be a rich guys employee now.9
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Why are c Developers poor and c++ Developers rich?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because c++ Developers get their wealth using Inheritance 😂😂😂1 -
Worst interview, had to travel half a day, tired already and got grilled on how to debug a overloaded complex network schematic and no additional information, just told that traffic was being dropped. I'm not a network engineer and had no clue where to even start. Manager had mixed papers and thought I was interviewing for a senior position. I was fresh from uni.1
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I've made a NLP tokenizer which is 30 times faster than clearNlp and standford tokenizer, last year. It is rich and require very less space(don't load any model). Should i make it open source?9
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Creating something out of nothing and knowing there's people from all over the world using my creation. One last thing is the developer community is so rich in diversity, walks of life, experience...it's truly awesome to get to know so many people who all program.
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Migrated to new email clients, half a page long signatures were gone and no notice to put it back.
So I added my own: "Freeeeeeedoooooom, no more signatures".
Promptly got called by PM to: "It puts the signature back in the mail or else it gets the free seating back."1 -
I fell in love with CodeIgniter...
It's just a so simple but powerful and feature-rich PHP-Framework.
I like prefer CodeIgniter over Laravel!15 -
Today I found out we have 5 different Customer databases, one for each product area. We don't have access to more than 2 of them, while corp. it central has full access, but we have to beg and pay to see our own customers....
Now i'm tasked with integrating all these into a Customer db. and the way i get access is cobolt made, fixed length csv files and it's different for each db.
FML1 -
Today I solved issues I didn't cause and took International phone calls while on the toilet to help corporate.
Bug fixing can be a shit job, at least I was in the right place for it.1 -
I made systems automated and effective, requiring less or no human action to process, was told it was to free up people for more sales and personal service, today I found out they fired the equilavent number of people to what my solutions made uneccesary. I really liked especially one of them and was hoping to ask her out. Guess that won't happen now. I feel horrible when my solutions cost people their Jobs.3
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This talk by Rich Hickey had a tremendous influence in how I approach my work:
https://youtu.be/f84n5oFoZBc
His Hammock Driven Development is my absolute favorite when it comes to work principles in programming/engineering. It also the one that is the hardest to explain to most PMs and leads because it can look like you are slacking off while others are producing hundreds LOCs. That you'll write better, less error prone code that won't need as much QA iterations is something you first have to prove to them but to me, it's well worth the effort.
If you have 40 minutes of time, do yourself a favor and watch the video. Maybe it'll have as much influence on you as it had on me 😃 -
I think the programmers diet is probably the most effective weight loss program I ever tried. Used to be ex-wife had to remind me to eat or else I forgot for days at a time. Now im single, coding and skinny.2
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Q: Your biggest dev career dream?
A: To finish my thesis, get a job, where I can peacefully code. And to earn enough money (does not mean rich) to just live a comfortable live without worrying about money too much.
Am I asking for too much?
Whats with you? What is your biggest career dream?6 -
I want to code my side project.
Work is trivial, repetitive, irrelevant.
I wished I was rich so I could work on shit I'm actually interested worked in.2 -
Female lead PM told me to another field to a already overcrowded screen, I slipped out the phrase: "Another one? It's already tighter than a Virgin just not as wet...."
Guess I just figured out why I didn't get a raise this year.3 -
I'm working on 3 projects, alone, and no chance to finish any of them in time. Woosh goes the deadlines....2
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Final day on this project, tonight I'll get drunk to forget about the backlog since client didn't hire me longer ( consultant).
I hate leaving unfinished code.
Monday I start my next project, which is refactoring. .Net code to .net core.
Here is to hoping it doesn't rely too much on unsupported 3rd party libraries.
Cheers fellow devs, have a good weekend. -
Just found out that this whole time I've been using the awful, half-baked, abandoned library instead of the respected, feature-rich, popular one.
Why did it appear first in my search results? Only god knows.
Oooofff I'm so pissed right now😤5 -
No. I’m not going to take a 20 minute user-testing job disguised as a “survey” for you - for free, LinkedIn - and all your other super rich companies. You gotta pay people to work for you.
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Yo the developers I see on Instagram are doing 100days of code with 3/4 monitors along with a laptop and tablet side by side. rich af lol. seems like a show off but idk.may be im saying that cause i can't currently afford it lol.13
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Every morning now you’ll see me at a Starbucks with a larger hot water pouring instant coffee packets into it
I’m not ashamed
Even if I was was rich I wouldn’t pay 15.00 for a fucking coffee lol
I call it a Starbucks workaround lol35 -
having some rich and poor friends , i have found some weird behavioural patterns:
1. the poorer they are the lesser they value time over everything else. rich guys not only value their own time, they value other person's time too
2. the poorer a person is, them more they find happiness in people than objects. the richer a person is , the more they spend 'buying' happiness in the form of shiny objects/materialistic stuff than celebrating with people
3. poor people are inclined towards respects and beliefs , while rich people are inclined towards facts and logics. a rich guy is always trying take decisions and make opinions around facts+logics(and even sometimes trying to create false facts around their perspectives), while the poor folks end up doing something out of respect because their ancestors or relatives etc "told" them to do so
======
I am not sure if i can infer anything from above facts. these are not the points that "make" someone rich or poor (or maybe they do, idk)
Both have their goods and bads, but both types of folks are not ideal : Poor people have decency, humanity and respect for traditions/people, but lack areas of growth. while rich people are so much focused on growth and gains, they forget to be a human first
As a friend, i enjoy both styles : get ample amounts of outing, fun, budget parties with my poorer folks, while going into fancy expensive restaurants and trying new cuisines with my richer folks :P4 -
I found a way to become rich with low effort!
I'll become a python developer.
I hope some fucker finds out that C is durable because it doesn't have to be rewritten all the time and we all go C. The bad apples will fall down soon enough with learning a programming language that actually requires some attention span.34 -
There's seriously a girl here following DAE (Game development) with one of them fancy tiny macbooks. Yes the one without escape. I wish her good luck and congratulations on being rich and a retard who ignores school advice on laptops4
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If you’re ignoring accessibility on the web, you’re making UIs exclusively for American white rich healthy neurotypical straight cisgender male Chrome users with gigabit internet and top of the line computers.17
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Pm orders me to integrate data from several closed systems into a new CRM, problem is... corporate security won't allow me to push data between these networks as there are extremely sensitive data on these systems. So I disobey PM or corporate if I do it and ive told both the issues. 4th round with this exact issue now.4
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Too many projects, too little time and didn't get a raise. So I now work on projects that people I like ask me to. Ignoring the other pm's while looking for a better job.1
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Why am I not super rich of being a dev my friends ask me. Well, it's Saturday, I have now worked around 75 hours this week. When am I supposed to have time for all of that develop my own million dollar fail?2
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Reporting server connection to database is down, probably due to a user access restriction.
reported the issue to the India sql datacenter and got back: Yes, We see that the connection is down. ( I sent them screenshot of it including the error message ) There is no such database available.
Me: Yes, well I'm in the db working right ( send screenshot) now.
India: ..... disappear offline.1 -
So this is what a cyber criminal looks like.
"Norwegians are a favourite for cyber criminals"
"And we are easier to fool than Swedes and Danes, if we're to believe the thieves. The only ones more exposed than us are oil rich Saudis" 🤷♂️ -
Wanna be rich? Become an independent privacy officer! Rent yourself only to companies that have their shit together and charge thousands just for being a security expert!
Every larger company needs one, but almost none have an employee lawfully qualified to be one... 🤑2 -
Came back to work while being sick due to lack of sickdays. I'm near comatose from headache and coughing going zombie around the office.
PM: How you doing?
Me: Underpaid, overworked and sick. Can't do shit about the latter.1 -
!rant after over 2 years of fighting, I'm finally rid of my cheating-ex in finances today.
My House and life is finally my own again. -
Why is everyone addicted to monthly salary these days? No one seems interested in how money is actually made and managed (e.g. by the company they work for).
It's as if people just don't want to be rich.10 -
I am in love with WireGuard. I have been testing it and till now I haven't felt any glitches and it is so simple and feature rich VPN. https://www.wireguard.com
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Don't you just love it when there is no formal spec. you get a few mspaint slides and told a delivery date, scope and slides are changed by management weekly, not necessarily informing you of it. Then when your failing, deadlines pass you by you still have no clear spec 2 weeks before release, partial backend because core business devs are busy doing support on the legacy systems. No frontend cause it's been changed, redesigned and you've been forced to change frameworks and technology so many times due to corporate policy and legacy systems with another dev group holding your balls with what they allow you to do and use. Id complain but at least we've been told to be agile. This is my life now, we lost all hope and stopped caring. And management wonders why the deadlines and estimates are all off.2
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I love meetings I got a valid reason to skip. Like today I got to skip standup and department meetings because I had actual work to do.
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Ordered to implement Old functionality in New system, not allowed to fix it, refactor or change the underlaying mess.
Wrap old system in a wcf, hardcoded some values, done.
3 weeks estimated so I feel ahead and got more time to look for a New job. -
My best project was a digital forensics project back in uni, digging through raw data the police forensic guy / professor gave us. Rarely Ive been so enveloped by anything as digging through raw data finding the clues as to what the guy had been up to and how he hid it.2
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Changes in the sales process enabled users to break it. I fixed the problem and suggested how to corrected those broken sales. PM wants to make tomorrow a day of meetings with stakeholders and other PMs to discuss if I should get to spend few hours fixing it.
Guess Ill tell them then that I already wrote a app on my way home that fixes it..... -
I wanted to work on my new project this weekend, Friday I started good with a case of beer, chips and... fell asleep. Saturday I started good as well then breakfast happened and evening ended with shots. Today is sunday and I started fresh with deleting and fixing the drunk code from previous days. 2 screens made and 20 lines of code, pretty good weekend.2
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Family: oh you're studying computer science? That's awesome! Have you heard of Mark Zuckerberg?
Me: Of course!
Family: yeah when are you coming out with the next Facebook? We'd like to be rich now!
Me: 🙃🙃🙃🙃 -
How many of you folks here consider yourself specialist in a certain area? Was this deliberate, and has it paid off? My lead dev is always trying to bestow upon me the advantages of being a generalist in this industry, and yet the employers I have spoken to, on the whole, seem to get most excited by “experts”. If it fits the expert they, want, of course...5
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Some days when I'm really effective and create good solutions and deploy it at high speed to the praise of users.
I can't help but raise my arms in victory and announce: "Damn I'm good!".
Screw the olympics, this is winning in real life. -
A guy while in college, he did the work I hated and left me to do the design and coding. Straight A projects every time due to our excellent teamwork.
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> CTO: I developed this product, I know it to the core! It's been stable for years, safe and rich in features, how is it even possible that things got so complicated?
The product he developed: -
For 10 years I've been a back end developer. Now I'm going full stack with react and angular4 front end development in my new job.
Unused to the new dev ui I just spent 3 hours debugging a redux state issue when I realize I used uppercase in the name of the value.....
N00b front-ender.1 -
Top 5 richest people.
1.People that own Powerbeats pro
2.People that own AirPods
3.Jeff Bozo
4.Bill Gates
5.Warren Buffet10 -
This fucking WHORE girl at my office that im supposed to work the project with, talks with the other girl about finding a new RICH sports basketball guy because shes looking only for RICH guys. Then talks about how women take rich guys young and marry them ASAP because they view it as an investment. She views marrying a rich guy as INVESTMENT. This is so Fucking saddening it pisses me off. Cant focus on my fucking work from this whore bragging about wanting to marry a millionaire basketball guy (shes 25 and nearing expiry date probably got ran through by the whole city and now looks for a simp to inherit massive wealth)
A girl that works as a difficult job as mine and is backend, and talks like this, has this whore mentality, is fucking SADDENING and DEGRADING. It is humiliating towards me. I find it extremely offensive and do not appreciate this at all even if it has nothing to do with her whore activities.
The sole fact that she is looking ELSEWHERE for a rich guy, a guy who throws a Fucking BALL, because everyone knows we working in tech are NOT rich, while a retard throwing a ball IS rich--this is Fucking HUMILIATING. I'll perform a ritual and hope to God that basketball guy cheats on her or leaves her. Every whore fucking deserves this. I thought she was a cool girl until i heard her talk shit where shes only looking to be with a rich guy. Who the FUCK are you? You're working a 9-5 backend job while i work devops + your job. I make more than you even though i still find it being a slave wage. She apparently wants someone who earns at least x100 more than her. Fuck you whore52 -
Spent 3 hours on SO and google to find out why a listview is missing data. Finally I delete it from form and recreate it, works flawless on first compile.
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public Person Birthday ( Person Me ) {
Me.Age++;
return Me;
}
Almost got away this year, quitting time before collegues caught it.4 -
Had a Long discussion with stake owners and PM. Ended in despair over corporate guidelines and impossible demands from the board / CEO.
PM finally said: Fuckit, let's get a beer, i'm buying.
Best day so far this week.1 -
There was a big concert event after work last night I couldn't go.
Noone is at work but me today....
and there is a ton of empty bottles in the cantina as well as quite some mess in a meeting room.
And noone has said they were taking the day off. oh well I'm going early then.2 -
Commodore 64 and manuals when I was 5. Then qbasic on a 286 my dad got from work when I was 6. Been programming since, to Borland c/c++, php, html etc. Worked with most languages since.1
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I was just ordered by PM to remove my class wrapper and explode the massive contents into a function....
Why do I feel like I just had a dirty discussion with my parents... Perverted methods..... -
Started signing my internal emails:
<Name>
<Department>
Systemsomethingsomethingdarkside (title)
<Contact info>
Day 8 and noone has noticed.
I've been accepted into the mail herd. -
So we're using Jira Wiki for all the documentation related work. It's hell rich with features as they describe. But for me easiest way is to write doc on markdown and then copy paste on Wiki. Highlights code, format tables and aligns paras perfectly.2
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Running on energy drinks and coffee from one emergency to the other finding solutions to problems noone thought of.
Weekend really can't come fast enough.
So I can get work done..... -
Every team building event, the company run a random draw to organise the teams.
It looks like the random equations not applicable to the beauty lady and the rich guy, they always match together.
What a draw...
Should I give them actual simple running draw app! Or they may hate me :) -
I absolutely love how capitalism fell on its face when greed went far beyond anyone's imagination.
Corporate wants all the money to themselves and wants to give out as little to us peasants. Housing prices went beyond most people's reach. Banks almost never gives loans. Inflation and interest rates are up everywhere.
So now people are like "Alright I'll live in this rented flat and not have any kids" and now the birth rate is the lowest in the last 50 years and this is reducing the size of the talent pool for these companies.
I saw an interview of Elon Musk where he went like "We don't have an over-population problem, but its actually an under-population problem.", and this is the first thought that struck my head.
What rich people don't understand, is if they want to be rich and stay rich, a significant amount of people have to stay poor. And due to low birth rates, this isn't going to last long.17 -
My latest "joke-app" has been published yesterday.
I highly doubt that anyone will buy it, but still, I hope someone will!
The whole point, of course, is that you can show off how rich you are by buying this stuff. nothing else.
If anyone is about to tell "rich people will have iPhones" the answer is "the app is only on playstore because I'm not rich at all and don't want to pay Apple, plus if you're really rich, just buy a phone and then buy the app"
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...9 -
Major release today, went badly of course. None of it was my fault, still I have to fix it. Best release so far.
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IMHO Rich Harris (of the Rollup and Svelte fame) is a rock star. I think I'd rant less of more people would follow his methods.
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I know Dubai is a shithole for workers for low-skilled jobs or if you are not rich brown. Can anyone confirm if it is a shithole for software engineers, leaving the tax-free perk?
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50 build minutes per month? what is this, 1990? it's not like atlassian is scraping around for money either....
sheesh
and the rich get richer...
WELCOME CIRCLE CI! (almost TOO generous in my opinion)4 -
Ever had ransomware get into the network? Every shared drive, which is basically all your files except the os drive as everything personal and development must be stored on the all access network drives encrypted. Then it turns out the backup had failed and noone had noticed for days due to IT being on vacation.2
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What are you guys reading?
I just finished Rich Dad Poor Dad and gonna start the art of learning by Joshua Waitzkin.7 -
I have to work against the mainframe ancient cobolt expecting fixed length input and filler chars depending on type, there is hundreds of fields and 40 vars in a function call.... deadline tomorrow at noon.
Awh... hell no!!!
ragequit! -
It's 8 am, just got Home from christmas table/gathering sober with an open bar for the nth time.
Wow us in support functions always get way shafted in recogniton, we made your ideas work and worked late to make it happen and you get the prize and money for coming up with the same idea I've seen 100 times already implemented before? -
Have you ever wondered why the developer part of the tech world is so rich and full of community? Devrant is one example.
Coming from a background of IT and cybersecurity I've never felt this way before. Why the IT and security world isn't as rich?1 -
I think one of the hardest experiences as a junior is the oscillation from perceived competency to perceived incompetency.
I just spent the last 4 weeks putting together my first major UI set of components for a financial calculator. Uses Vue, Quasar, a lot of data transformation and reactive UI programming. I felt quite chuffed. Its pending merge.
Then my lead asked me to help him debug something on the flagship and legacy project; for educational purposes, not that he actually needs my help. The application is 100x the size of the one I have been working on, and monolithic. Orders of magnitude more complex.
The jump from a sense of “I might be able to do this” to “I could never do that” was almost soul destroying. Like looking back over the last ten meters you ran, realising that running is hard and you did it. Only to look ahead and realise there are easily 100 miles ahead of you.
How the fuck do you cope with that.2 -
Joining a job to build rich single page applications deployed in the cloud, then watching it slowly turn into porting shitty legacy code to slightly less shitty .NET Core code and hooking it to an existing WebForms application...
Time to start the hunt again! -
4 hours until major release goes live, should I be worried that the lead dev on handling releases called in sick today? If it goes badly I have no access to fix it until tomorrow.4
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Did anyone here use sapper and svelte to build a production application? How was the experience overall?
I've been reading about it and watched Rich Harris present svelte and sapper, I like his approach but I'm not too sure about how it work in a production workflow1 -
Is it better to be in the middle? Not being poor but not rich either. I believe that fighting for things in life is more rewarding.3
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I had to program a webservice in PHP (never touched it before). First of all, i get why this language is so much hated. Second i had to debug one function for 5h because of 'é' in my DB.... UTF8 FTW i guess.
Let's finish this by a pun
PHP is really a rich language. -
Understanding management talk:
Customer centric = Who we are focused on fucking.
Family oriented = employees should not have one.
Performance focused = f... You, your family and your paycheck. -
Having to work with a legacy system is often hard enough, adding New features content when it's a ancient access system is worse. Secretly started remaking the entire CRM system in .net instead of stabbing myself with a plastic fork to get out of the project.1
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I've been distro hopping for a while now, and I can't settle on one. I'm stuck using a netbook with Intel Atom and 1GB RAM right now, any suggestions for a sexy, lightweight, and feature rich distro that won't run like shit?
I've already had Xubuntu, Debian, Arch, Kali, Elementary OS, and Puppy Linux.7 -
Love pattern matching, esp. in function clauses. No programming language can be considered feature rich without it. Yes, I'm looking at you, <mainstream programming language>1
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Corporate bureaucracy:
How I know, within 30 mins of starting a New day, that I'm perfectly capable of torturing and killing another human being.
And I still have to get 3 more approvals before they will even look at actually doing the task..... -
I figured out how to skip 2 months of development so we could launch Long ahead of schedule.
Question is should I tell them or do it? I don't feel like it really as I've been treated like shit and am looking for a New job.
It will take the stress off collegues, perhaps as a goodbye gift when I leave I'll put it on a thumb drive and give it if I feel bad.2 -
If i become borderline rich, and rich for me is even 50k$, I b2plane promise to not post 1 shit post anymore ever (as long as in still borderline rich)
To speed up this process each of u can donate me 1$5 -
Our lead dev has convinced the board to move the new software suite forward into .Net Core 3. Much of his reasoning is sound, a mainstay of which is the cost and ease of hiring developers to actually make and maintain it.
My own roadmap with the company focuses around one of these products, so I am to become the core developer and maintainer. Given thats the case, given that my primary skill is with Javascript/Node and given that we have deadlines, I am going to make the case today that this product might be better built in Node.
We are going for a microservices architecture. Combined with Typescript for type safety as the code base gets bigger, I am not sure I can think of many real advantages to choosing .NET instead. It will benefit from its async I/O later too, as the plan is to build in API driven dynamic UI down the road.
He is a fierce man, and I am the junior. Wish me luck.7 -
I have a friend named Rich. To protect his identity we will refer to him as Rich.
Rich: I don't like Dick.
Me: ...What?...
Rich: The name, I don't like the name Dick. <Rich then goes on to explain why he doesn't like the name Dick. How he got the name Rich. Like 5 or 10 minutes of this>
Me: <Trying not to laugh, because he is naive enough to not know the other connotations of not liking Dick>
Rich: And that is why I don't like Dick.
Me: <Smiles and nods. This was deep and personal to him.>
Things I wanted to say:
"I am glad we got this out in the open."
"Well, I don't like Dick either."2 -
Gotta love how them life long burger flippers joined the evil rich people to talk about how nothing anyone makes matters and learning isn’t important etc etc
Problem is when all progress keeps getting reset they seem right for awhile until the extras are gone -
Deploying tons of new features and changes to the SYST enviroment for user testing only to find out that changes you did last year somehow aren't there anymore and so it breaks everything. Waiting for central IT guys to respond to request for a additional deployment while the users hangs on your back.
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public void DailyLife(bool sleep)
{
While( WaitingForCompile && !sleep)
{
BrowseDevrant();
FindNew("Girlfriend", "tinder");
RefreshIfCold(coffee);
}
DebugCodeIfErrorFound();
DailyLife(Datetime.Now >= Sleep.Time);
} -
PM: what can we do to avoid users abusing the loop hole until we could patch it?
Me: I recommend whipping repeat offenders. As a teambuilding exercise of course. -
My code check-in today contains comments like "Last resort methods, never use except explicitly ordered by lead".
Gotta love legacy code hacks... -
My dad used to code some software in Fortran, Basic and C, so he's proud and happy to be able to show me the work he has done in the past.
My mom thinks I'll be rich someday.
My brother and sister wants me to code some games.
My girlfriends wants me to teach her.3 -
Found bug in legacy code with comment "4 days to release workaround, works predictably".
Added "No, it doesn't!" and committed to main branch before I start reworking the entire spaghetti mess of a codebase -
how to get rich: step 1: sell your organs; selling your organs is a quick and efficient way to make money, the more you sell=the more you make.
step 2: tax evasion; just stop paying taxes, why give away your money when you can just keep it?
step 3: print money; why get a job when you can just print money? say goodbye to that annoying 9-5!
step 4: invest in the cryptocurrency $bigblackballs. $bigblackballs is the new bitcoin! it will take over all other cryptocurrencies in the market and make everyone rich. $bigblackballs to the moon! get on the wave while you still can.
thanks for reading, hopefully, you learned something from this tutorial!!!!7 -
has anyone tried some bitcoin trading robots.. I found some Java library for that and implements scalping strategy1
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Startet programming when I was 6 on my dad's 286 in Qbasic and learnt other languages as I grew up. It was always this, hacking or psychology for me. In the end the ex told me she was pregnant while I was doing my thesis.
So then I knew I had to be a dev. -
Can someone recommend a good, free and easy to use service (web or windows app) for mobile apps prototype, mockups, etc. I want to create a visually rich and possibly clickable prototype for a mobile app idea before development.7
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All you devs posting about money and how youre so rich. How do yo7 do it? Sell your soul? Own business? Good contacts? Ive been struggling my entire life and beibg a dev hasnt helped. Maybe i suck or maybe im missing something?1
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Fuuuuuuuck!!
I hate it when your code work sometimes but sometimes not and you don't even change anything!!
Fuck you, Discord rich presence! Why don't you love me??? -
What did I do while down for the count with Covid?
* Setup a static React site
* Hosted the site at Cloudflare Pages
* Protected the page through CF access
* Extracted the JWT
* Setup a Rails API to validate the token
Now I have static React UIs with a nice rich API backend.2 -
I keep earplugs in underneath my headset when I expect E-meetings to be less than interesting use of my time, which it usually is.
What's your little secret to surviving a day?1 -
Tried to explain to the department lead that having devs spend more time documenting what we spend time on, asking for permissions to do anything doesn't make the project go faster.
Leads might feel good about having better overview for themselves, but in reality you just slowed down, demotivated and annoy the entire team of people doing the actual work. Noone wants to or will do overtime because we have to ask for permission first. And you took away one good dev to spend his entire days in meetings instead of actually doing any real work on the project.
#releasethedevs -
This is influenced by my current situation but best tool: Visual Studio. Versatile and rich debugger, good language integration for what I do. Worst tool: eclipse. What the fuck is this permacrashing nightmare of an application. And what the actual fuck are these keybinds.1
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To those who have worked in mad RAD solo environments, with next to no testing...
...and those who have worked full Agile, with high code coverage, code review amongst hoards of T-shaped developers...
...how much difference does it make to wellbeing and upskilling in the two?
Bonus points if you have done both and can compare in an n=1 way.2 -
I feel tired. Really not feeling like working on.. work.. much rather be working on personal things. Lazy times. I need me a get rich quick scheme that works. I need a holiday that never ends.5
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Total personal rebranding, mark zuck T-shirts, total CV changeover (change the weird perl & haskell skills, to javascript) you know cool kid stuff.
wish you all luck, am about to become rich, watch out.6 -
Teaching coworkers performance tuning, we have the memory enough that you don't need to write to disk... Really the data isn't Even a MB....
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Does anybody else compost at home? I’ve recently started considering our teams backlog like a compost pile. You need a mix of Carbon rich and Nitrogen rich products for proper compost. (Greens and browns, fruits and paper shreds). It seems like a healthy team would have a mix of features and debt reduction stories in their backlog. Am I too far off here to make the analogy work ?1
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!rant after struggling with version control in a very restricted enviroment where nothing can be installed on the user's machine.
I finally found a way that was allowed after days of digging, so simple yet beautiful, thy name be clickonce. -
I visit the website where every major block has a dashed grid around it. I can move grids, but it doesn’t change anything else. They’re just… there. Victoria Arduino, VP of Deception, sporting her iconic lesbian-esque look. A picture of a white glove, the evidence, with RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH DIDN’T PAY. “I didn’t sleep, the black sauce almost ruined the evidence, thank GOD I sent it in time”.2
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!rant.
When should you get a senior title? After x years in the industry, at y age, having worked there for z years or what do you guys think?1 -
Damn! Jeff Bezos is the world's richest man with now over 142 billion USD!!
I wonder if he feels some kind of existential crisis everyday.
Successful artists or actors become weird after becoming rich af.5 -
<Dream type="pipe">
GitHub-flavoured Markdown in devRant... maybe even with syntax highlighting...
</Dream>4 -
https://matrixwebstudio.com/-Websit... Designing Company in Delhi of Matrix Web Studio is driving IT Website Designing Company in Delhi, INDIA which is offering Website Designing administrations in India. Grid tunes in, adjusts and works with you to make sites rich with character and detail.We aim to make your online business experience smooth, speedy and efficient.
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feels so fucking good being THE BO$$. the guy on the opposite side of poor. the controlling mastermind. the fuck you money guy. the commander. The GOD. the creator. the all knowning. the illuminated. the chosen one. the superior one amongst the inferiors.
treating all my employees as slaves and worthless peasants who make me rich. ive been treated like shit by these types of bosses for far too long. time to switch sides. all my employees will make me rich or die trying. fuck them. just slave away while i get my dick sucked by whores on my 4th yacht together with jeff bozos7 -
TrumpScript is one funny programming language that was formulated by four Rice University undergraduates. TrumpScript allows developers to operate with numbers that are bigger than one million. If programmers user numbers less than a million then it will generate a quote from Donald Trump as an error message: ”I’m really rich, Part of the beauty of me is I’m very rich.”1