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Guinea pigs are not from Guinea and they aren’t pigs
JavaScript has nothing to do with Java
Computer science is not an actual science
Lawsuit is not an actual suit that the judge wears
Siouxsie Suioux is not Native American
Sugar gliders aren’t made of sugar
People don’t drive on driveways and don’t park on parkways
Carpets have nothing to do with either cars or pets
Gunpowder actually looks like noodles and not like powder
Coca-Cola has no coconut and no cocaine in it. It also contains no cola nuts
Peanuts aren’t actually nuts
Watermelon doesn’t taste like a melon
Laptops are usually used while standing on desks, not laps
GPU, as in graphics processing unit, can process things that aren’t graphical
Silverback gorillas’ backs ain’t made of silver
Rod Steward is not a rod and not a steward
Guy Standing can sit
People who say they can’t stand something usually can actually stand up
People who call themselves woke do sleep sometimes
Hibernation mode in Windows doesn’t actually hibernate anything
Kool Aid can be served hot
Wall sockets can be used while not being attached to a wall
WC is not a closet
MrBeast is in fact human
Dodge cars aren’t better at dodging things than other cars
Some AC units can be operated using DC
Most men don’t menstruate
Pop bottles don’t always go pop
Backpack can be used while not being worn on your back
Watches don’t watch anything
Some keyboards aren’t actually a single board
Cigarettes have cigars, but cassettes don’t have cass, and Gillette doesn’t have gills
Dyson doesn’t make Dyson spheres
Hairdryers can dry things that aren’t hair
Beds aren’t usually made of bedrock
ThinkPads can’t think
MacBooks aren’t books
Ceilings don’t ceil
Platinum records aren’t made of platinum
Training doesn’t always involve trains
Great Britain ain’t that great
HDMI can carry signal that isn’t HD
Fingers do fing but autists don’t aut
American Football band doesn’t play american football
Taylor Swift is neither a taylor nor a swift
Hard disk drive doesn’t drive
Tank tops has nothing to do with the top part of a tank
Tea bags do sometimes contain herbs that aren’t tea
Tea isn’t usually teal
Jack Black isn’t black
Fingernails aren’t nails30 -
In Grand Britain, a guy died because his cars cruise control locked a t 190 km/h. How is that possible ?!5
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!dev
Just wanna share yesterday nights story because I really really enjoyed it..
Have been to Galway with a friend.
Went to the pubs and 2 Irish girls tried to speak French - just for fun. A French guy wanted to flirt with them and said: “you British girls are so cute when you try to talk French.”
The girl completely freaked out and screamed at him: “ DONT YOU FUCKING DARE TO CALL AS BRITISH..” and the second girl started singing in the middle of all the people: “Come out ya Black and Tans, come out and fight us like a man”..
Ended with those girls trying to stop other Irish guys from beating up that French guy.
Few pubs later at 2:30am walking to the car (driver didn’t drink) when the “irish Jesus” (YouTuber) walks by and asks us if we have “something”, he really needs to get stoned 😂
Best night ever..
No offense to the British here, I assume you’re familiar with your shared history;)2 -
Just remembering that time Britain started clapping for the NHS on a weekly basis, rather than giving them more money.
The longer ago in history this becomes, the more patronising it feels.4 -
EU Referendum results are in and it looks like Britain is leaving.
Scary times ahead! Good job I'm part of a global industry eh? -
Here’s a joke I keep remembering on DevRant:
Someone asks about PHP in Great Britain being €.
Others responding saying to make it go faster you put the actual conversion rate €(0.88)
LOL
I still crack the fuck up thinking about it1 -
ATTENTION UK NATIONALS:
We need your help to protect the peace in Northern Ireland, please sign this petition to demonstrate against the governments attempts to block MP’s from stopping a no deal Brexit which could (and some have argued already has started to) result in a ramping up to terrorist actions by the NIRA, RIRA, UVF, UDA and other groups -
https://petition.parliament.uk/peti...11 -
March's Khyber Weather was out of ordinary
Phishing and CEO-scams continued in March with even more activity.
SUPO told in their annual letter that focused attacks are day-to-day deal against Finland and Finnish companies. Positive things being that functionality of communicational services was better than average and there were new guidelines published about IoT-products' minimal requirements in the Great Britain.
Source:
Finnish Communication Regulatory Authority
https://viestintavirasto.fi/kybertu...
Translation by:
@joas1 -
As of this week, recruiters have been calling the company office number that I work for.
The first time this happened was Monday and of course, I answered my office phone after it was redirected from the support team. It was a man with an English accent offering me a job in Luxembourg. I politely said no thanks as I had no intention of uprooting. Plus, I was sure that he had no idea of my technical skills. The nerve of these insects.
Today, it happened again. The phone rang. It was my colleague. He said, "there is a guy looking for you. He sounds English". Alarm bells went off straight away. I replied, "He is a recruiter, I don't know anyone with an English accent. Ask him what he wants.".
He claimed to be from a company I previously worked for and had been requested to contact me, but would not say from which company that was. Sneaky bastard!
My colleague said the number came from a company called Theta Partners in Great Britain.
I think I need to prepare a good response to the recruiter, if it happens again. Any suggestions?1 -
https://openrivers.net/map/
Alt history:
Great Britain is the only emerged land that ever was
Just imagine5 -
Things I hate
- geese
- guinea pigs
- the word “marsupials”
- the words “dollairs” and “dollary-doos”
- weak words like “magnises” where it isn’t immediately obvious what vowel is a strong one
- jackals
- hyenas
- feminazi
- the word “moose”
- the trend of upper-class gen x downshifter people to name their creations after less popular animals like mongoose and others
- words that fall into the uncanny valley where they are just like normal words yet are slightly off
- mispronounced personal names
- billie eilish face
- the name “Podger”
- Johnny Depp’s ex-wife
- php
- alice in the wonderland
- cult following of 1984 by George Orwell
- my older sister
- lack of grounding in any hardware
- the word “Garbaruk”
- the word “Aardvark”
- anything that was ever made by Paul Comp
- the word “Bushwick”
- Keanu reeves face in John wick
- fonts with weight less than 400 that try their best to be as “geometric” as possible
- netflix
- spotify
- slack
- war
- schizophrenia
- history of turkey and britain
- the word “canola”
- the picture of a seagull wearing square sunglasses
- tom and jerry
- how they wrote relationship between chip, dale and gadget
- the word “lululemon”7 -
So it looks like the Britain is leaving the EU. Who the fuck are these people in my country?
Feel sick right now.
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