My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

For halloween, lets scare the shit out of every Windows user...

Am I the only one who giggles a little when they see something like this?

To all the forced restarts at Windows 10

overheard someone say "test driven development is essentially 'debugging a system into existence'"

.... And to be honest I can't disagree, it's quite an accurate description of TDD.

What do you think of my new mouse pad

Bored waiting for code to compile so here is a joke someone sent me last week .....

A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole.

"Holy crap!" says the bartender, completely livid. He says to the man, "Did you see what your stupid monkey just did?"

"Nope. What did he do this time?" says the man.

"He just swallowed one of the balls off the pool table, whole!" says the bartender.

"Yeah, well I hope it kills him 'cause he's been driving me nuts" says the man.

After finishing his drink, the man leaves.

A few weeks later the man returns to the bar with his monkey. After ordering a drink, the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. Up on the bar, he monkey finds some peanuts. He grabs one out of the bowl, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your stupid monkey did this time?" he asks.

"What now?" responds the man.

"He stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the bartender.

"Well, what do you expect?" replied the man. "Ever since he ate that pool ball he measures everything first!"

My PC is very introvert if I touch it (the case), it panics and throws a bluescreen at me.

If I got 10€ for every bluescreen I got, I'd have bought a new computer by now.

Hmmm says it all really

I'm f**king annoyed today

Today can f**k off and suck my balls

Rant over 😡

Once went for an interview for a senior web developer role. The first interview was a coding test ( not a problem, been coding for years and know I can do it). The company boasted that it supported pair programming.

I was sat at in an open plan office In front of a machine and given a question sheet of 10 code questions/puzzles and asked to solve them. Then out of nowhere 5 other senior devs appeared and stood behind me and proceeded to comment /question every single line I typed (so no pressure then).

I did questions 1-5 (fairly easy tbh) but all the devs behind me critiquing every single line started to drive me crazy so I asked if it was normal for them to interview this way and was told 'yes' and that after a year of trying to find someone they had been unsuccessful.

I told them that I wanted to leave the interview at that point; I don't mind my code being critiqued just prefer it when I've at least finished the line. Forcing you into a pair programming scenario in the interview really didn't feel right.

To this day (2years later) I still see ads for that very same job

rip airport

Greetings from BERLIN 🚈

Not really a recruiter but at interview at one place I was given a printed code example and told that there was 8 bugs and that I shield treat it like a code review.

I found 16 bugs and 4 bad practices and explained them all to the director of software engineering and team lead (that set the test), they agree that I was correct; the director turned to the team lead and said ... Are you are your a senior

I tried not to laugh lol

Chuck Norris can take a screenshot of his bluescreen.

change my mind

Funny coz it’s true

Too tired to rant, 4 months of 70 hour weeks have took their toll 😞

One of the more memorable computer problems I solved were when I added some lego blocks to solve a recurring windows bluescreen
A friend had a Pentium 3 (slot 1) that kept throwing him several bluescrens per day so I decided to help
I open up the computer and saw that the processor were not properly securred in it's place and the plastic pieces that should have holding it in place were gone, so I improvised pressing in some lego pieces that I found somewhere to secure that the processor didn't move if someone were walking close to the computer and after that he didn't have any more bluescreens than the rest of us

Well, it finally happened.

After 25 years coding in all types of languages and environments, I’m no longer having fun.

It now seems like it’s a fight to get interested in the code. I used to be something that I would spend hours / days doing. Now I just want to walk away from the code.

Is it true (do you think) that after a while all you see is a for loop, an if statement, a null check and you just think to yourself. Fuck this! Because I think I’m there.

God it’s depressing to think that I no longer find it fun.

When you know you failed, but you're still optimistic

Welcome back to Britain - The true consequence of #Brexit 🤣

I had a problem with my code, it doesn't compile. Then my teacher came and clicked on the Debug-Button. In this moment Windows crashed in a Bluescreen.

well, the microsoft surface that has been lying in a shelf and was used three times in the last year now only boots to bluescreen. you still get the full experience even though you barely use it.

Anyone else suffer from this.

Have a brilliant idea, start computer, open you IDE, write a few lines of code as proof of concept and then just loose interests coz it's no longer a challenge !

Why???

Exactly !

I need a big steel bat to hit sales men with when they come to my desk asking for updates

Wrote my first code on a commodore vic 20. I was 7 years old

Monday : Trying to work when a Windows Blue screen attack xD

You know those days you have at work where you just want to shout “Fuck it” as loud as you can and just walk out ..... yeah it was that kinda day 😡

May the people responsible for the decision to let Windows 10 wake up people's PCs from sleep mode in the middle of the night to install patches and then force-restart be tortured for eternity in hell. All of the hells. Of every religion. At the same time. While having to stare at a Windows ME bluescreen of death without the ability to blink or look away. For 65535 eternities. Followed by a buffer overflow.

Best quote ever

In our company, all devs are using windows notebooks with the brand Schenker.
And they get bluescreens regularly. The bluescreens are currupting git repos and other data. Seems to be caused by some driver issues with trackpad but no fix for that yet. Happening for years now...
If someone hits the table and gets angry, he probably got a bluescreen again...

I did not use my Windows 10 since weeks. Now I wanted to play some games and I got a bluescreen. It reboots several times. I did not miss it.

Fucking bluescreen.
Every few months it happens daily. Drivers, pf

Was asked to go to interview at an anti virus company. Looking someone with extensive Amazon aws experience. Told them I had none, company was aware and wanted to see me anyway. 3 separate interviews to go through; Got through round 1 and round 2 of the interviews got rejected at round three because u didn't have aws experience!!!! Like wtf..... Why waste my time like that!!

I love listening to music while coding, mainly metal/rock/classical

Comment with 10 tracks from your playlist .... Here are my 10

0. Disturbed - stricken
1. Tremonti - decay
2. Black label society - bored to tears
3. Ac/dc - back in black
4. Rolling Stones - paint it black
5. Gary Moore- still got the blues
6. Carcass - blind bleeding the blind
7. Alter bridge - metalingus
8. Fear factory - linch pin
9. Pantera - 5 minutes alone

I think that @dfox should start a UX rant, I'm sure there are plenty of designers that want to vent a little 😄

Nice bike ride in the country after stressful day 😜

Started to refactor a class. An hour later -

"hmmm this little bit of code that uses the new refactored class could do with a bit of work". An hour later

"hmmm this little bit of code that uses the new refactored class could do with a bit of work" Eight hours later

"Shit, I've almost rewritten the damn application" !!!

Here is a visual representation of Angular using NgRx

I think that its quite apt ....

I couldn't post the pic that i wanted to post because i'm sure that this site has some decency guidelines and i don't want to get kicked out

When you commit code to the repo and a a junior on the team takes it upon himself to rename all the classes and methods coz he doesn't like them even though his changes make no sense and then sends them to you for a code review .....

Wonder what the results going to be ;-p

Angular

F**king Angular ...........

enough said .......

Fed up with f@_#-$&@_ Microsoft bullshit, computer refused to install IIS without a reboot first. Rebooted, got bluescreen with some error like APC_Index mismatch since it was hooked up to an external monitor (this has happened before, but only when booting into Windows, not Ubuntu), god knows why now since it was hooked up to same monitor before reboot and worked just fine. All this because some stupid school related task requires Visual Studio and a web project-solution that takes ages to run/debug which I would rather build and devug through attaching remote debugger to the running IIS-process. Instead I get into a boot-loop when the screen is connected, and when I connect the screen after a normal boot it restarts itself. Why is it always like this? Most of the time is spent just to setup the environment or making Windows work. F#&#_ this and the assignment, goodnight.

The moment when you try Android development for the first time, you get a bluescreen out of nowhere and after that there are problems with the jdk in your project... I do not get it. Please windows... I just wanted to try something new...😰

It does not feel motivating at all... :/

When you bring work home at the weekend with the hope of getting loads done and then you have a brain freeze and can't remember what you need to do first ....... 😡

Starting to hate resharper for visual studio 2015. Pushes studio memory consumption up by almost 1/2gb with a moderately sized solution. Come on jetbrains sort it out we know it's coz you won't integrate with roslyn.

Doesn't help that vs is still 32bit with a 1.5mb memory cap that will kill the process ...... And Microsoft please sort that shit out as well,32bit app on a 64bit system .... Come on WTF.....

You two sort your shit out 😡

Some days it feels like visual studio is conspiring to break my sanity.

Compile.... 5 errors
Clean & recompile .... 12 errors

Open file that contains the errors

Error report clears all errors ...

Compile .... 12 errors .... But still bloody runs

Stop program .... No errors

Grrrr

Compile .... No errors

For god sake .... Which is it ... Do I have errors or not FFS

Did Windows really just force install an update on my notebook?

Got a bluescreen on this machine (first one ever). Then it did some counting from 0-100%. After that it installed updates and restarted!

So, vs2015 is crashing when the process gets to 2gb .... 32bit .net process memory limit strikes again!!! 80 projects in the solution & what looks a run away extension is taking the memory !!!

Come on M$ it should be 64bit on a 64bit system!!

Now the hunt for the extension that's causing it!!

Just realised that I've not been on Twitter since downloading this app; just popped on and rejected 8 follower requests from bots, had a look around ... Saw it was still shit and came back here 😬

Aaaaarrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh

F*%K

I’ve been coding for over 25 years, for the last 10 years my primary languages are C#, C++, Xaml. Prior to that I used to develop web applications.

Just recently, I’ve totally lost my motivation to code, I used to come home at nights and do stuff for myself, at work i used to develop utilities and apis to help everyone, some of which have been made production ready and released.

Now I just cannot be arsed......

I need to get out of this rut.

☹️😢

Friday 13th. Superstition.

0655, got WFH laptop going. 0700, VPN'ed in. Bluescreen, first in ages. Yes, Windows, the hatred is mutual. Rebooted. Windows claimed memory fault, offered check, 40 minutes. Noped out. Started machine. VPN'ed in. Some strange script error that I'd never seen before. Rebooted. Script error again. Shut down machine, then rebooted, same problem. 0715, fuck, still wearing sweaters, my e-scooter not charged, and an important Teams call at 0800.

Got dressed, stuffed laptop into backpack, hurried up by foot. Took the bus. Fuck, the next connection on the change station just had gone off. Took a taxi to make it. Arrived at the company, plugged in the laptop, started with no issues. Had the important call.

Took the laptop to IT. Tested it with external network connection and VPN. Worked with no script error. Had it checked for RAM issues. No issue. WTF had happened in the morning?!

Rip Burger King

My Phone crashed (22%) while I was trying to send a picture of my bluescreen. (Phone needs to be charged) - fuck. my. life.
Damn driver updates. Damn 5yo iPhone.

I fucking love my SD card reader driver fucking up my whole system. How did that driver even pass BayHub's fucking QA, causing a bluescreen of death right during reboot of Windows? Anyways thanks Microsoft for that nice new bluescreen not telling me anything about the fucking problem why Windows just crashed. But at least it looks nice, so that it's more fun working all night and half a day to find the fucking problem myself. Fuck this.

Wow 😑

Hi my named bluescreen and I'm addicted to coding ....

Feel like I should be at some kind of Coders AA meeting .....

I'm having a few days off work, this is my 3rd day and I'm already twitching because I've not got my daily fix of coding (wife won't let me near a computer when I'm on holiday)

I've never had any kind of addiction except coding. I feel really uncomfortable not doing anything, coding is my job and hobby.

I normally come on here to rant / read posts but today I'm browsing just on the off chance that I see some code ....

I need help ......

Question: how many of you have told co-workers about devRant and wished you hadn't ???

Why yes Nvidia drivers, I did want you to bluescreen my thinkpad on its dock while I'm in the middle of two different deadlines! I swear this fucking dock causes more fucking issues than I've ever seen. I come back to my computer, wake it up, and wait for my external displays to turn on... And wait... And wait... And bluescreen! This shit happens at least twice a week.

Womp womp...

We have a new senior manager who I now report directly to and he’s actively reducing the amount of input I have with everything and everyone. He seems to be targeting everyone who was hired/promoted by the pervious senior manager who he replaced.

I think it’s time I started looking for another job. He obviously doesn’t want me here and is doing everything he can to make my life difficult

Damn visual studio 15 crashing yet again !!

Nothing gets me depressed more than having to do web development.

For me its souls destroying ... makes me so utterly fed up with everything.

That feeling when you almost have your code working but you have to leave the office for the day coz they are kicking everyone out 😥😡

So tired that I can't even think about writing code this weekend .... Despite really wanting to. 1000 things going through my head that I could code right now.

Code > Test > Fix > Repeat

I have got a Lenovo B590 laptop windows 10 from 2012/2013.
It is some kind of default laptop(not fast af).

I NEVER saw the bluescreen. NEVER

New year old me

Fucking Windows

"You have written a lot of code lately it would be ashame if I just crash"
*Bluescreen*
"Configuring updates"
Fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkk

Luckily I saved my code

So, it appears that when you have a disagreement about something with our new head of development, he puts you on a ‘shit’ list and the does everything he can to make you want to quit.

Tried to make out that your not integrating with the teams, excludes you from any discussion that you might have any opinions about, talks down to you and is generally two faced about everything he says.

Well f**k him.

Been a team lead for a few years now but it seems that my job now seems to be chasing team members for estimates and deadlines 😡

How enormously great:
(I’m using Windows on Mac a few times for games requiring windows )
*starts win to play with friend *
*update bluescreen*
*installing discord on phone again to inform friend*
*trying to remember the backup code for my 2fa codes*
*I tried*
*win updated but I don’t have time left to play*

PLEASE STOP SURPRISING ME WITH FORCE UPDATES AND FIND AWAY AROUND

Funny how Windows says "Your PC ran into a problem" on the bluescreen note nowadays. Your PC. Huh.

Got my xaml datatemplates finished, models and design time data all done ... Now for some whiskey 😁

Me: god bless me *Open Android Studio*
Laptop: *screams in bluescreen*
Me: *screams in laggy anger*
Fire Alarm: *screams*

i need to bring my pc to office ASAP. can't stand this anymore

For F^^k sake Microsoft give us some way to protect .net code from easy reflection / decompilation ..... Obfuscation just doesn't cut it.

Using a 3rd part library to manage drag/drop in wpf and then have to use router events because it doesn't natively manage commanding for mvvm pattern, then you write a commanding behaviour which works perfectly for everything else except drag drop because it's not part of the visual tree so binging is a nightmare!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Junior dev is refactoring yet again instead of doing the work he is supposed to be doing ...... Feels he has to refactor everything to fit in with his floored idea of the way the system should work ...... Going to be having words with him soon :-(

Spec writing, necessary evil 😬

I have been using Windows my entire life but never gotten the bluescreen of death.. What ha e i been doing wrong?! :P
Also I want to learn to use Linux. Which is best for developing and beginners ?

Bluescreen?
You gotta be fucking kidding me FFS!!!

Haven’t seen one of those for years...

Were just about to push and go home😩

Just spent the last hour going through code and nHibernate relationship mappings only to realise that my repository's create method had an not exists check instead of an exists check preventing it from actually committing the data ........... i'm tired and need a holiday !

Meetings, meetings and more meetings ....... what's that, you want me in another meeting that could have been an email !!

When you get to the stage of just praying that your code will magically fix itself .........
Yeah hmmmmm

just had a bluescreen in win 10 killing my newest project and reducing it to ashes😡
for no reason
not even an error code
fuck windows and its update policies. my laptop is way slower and more instable since the new fall update. it killed some software i had to reinstall and ms changed the options for advertisement again. ive had enough of windows
im finally switching over to Linux and im going to bann win 10 on a vm

It seems to me that we all keep posting the same images (normally geeky tech humour) or how programmers are seen by others etc... would it be useful to have an image gallery on devRant so that we can all post into it, lets face it we all love to see them. might stop the same images being posted over and over again .... Would have to be moderated though !

what do you think @dfox ??

Love my new background *not*

FFS, a site that published tech tutorials that can't get the damn iOS app to work correctly

Come on plurasight you can do better than this.

Is it just me or does anyone else wince when someone says the word "cyber" when referencing something on the internet ....like the current series of attacks ..... oh god ... i winced just typing that !

I hate the word, its an irrational hate i know still !

Confidence peaks when you run a project and bluescreen arrives

I've been working on a problem for the last few hours and not getting anywhere ... so here are a jokes ... coz im bored

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid , it's ok I can stop when I want
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what type of monkey explodes - a Baboom
-----
my brother has. taken being sent to jail really. He has been refusing food and drink, spitting and scratching anyone who comes near and he smeared the walls with his s**t.

I'm not inviting him to monopoly night again.

When a colleague reads the clean code book but the writes code that's exactly the opposite ..... Yeah, hmmmm

Microsoft needs to deal with getting native compilation of the full .net runtime rather than concentrating efforts just doing store apps that no one wants with the cut down runtime.

Winds me up that

what makes a evening better? bluescreen and a automatic driver error scan after reboot... but no problem at the moment, luckily

Do you all rcmd me desktop pc or laptop for running vm and some heavy software like photoshop and premiere pro ?

Im deciding between a mid tier pc or a high end laptop after my laptop of 9 years just gone laggy n shows bluescreen everytime i open chrome.
Also, what gear are you using for your projects ?

A guy in our school library is doing his senior thesis,guess what...legendary bluescreen.The guy was so pissed off thanks to brilliant coding of windows,it knows the perfect timing when to fuck up people LOL

I successfully PCI passed through my nvidia 970m to Bluescreen-OS on a nvidia optimus laptop.
Totally useless, if your GPU does not have any video output ٩๏̯͡๏۶

What's the point about having an HDMI output, if it neither works with the intel 530, nor with the 970m? Is it even connected? I mean, srsly, why would you do that? Best Linux support ever!!!1!!!

Just saw this on Facebook .... Had to repost it here