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Search - "lame joke"
This morning my girlfriend told me about the network at her school constantly disconnecting, to which I jokingly replied "So, it doesn't deserve candy". She came back with "But it's already asking for so many cookies"...
First junior software dev job, asked what I wanted for hourly pay, replied “I need at least $13/hour to survive.” (This is in US, 2007, I was almost done with Bachelor in CS, single mom with two little kids, was also in the army national guard at the time)
I grew up poor, and was very ignorant about salary negotiations. So of course they offered $13/hour. I accepted, thinking it must be fair, and was glad to be making more than minimum wage. Six months in, I’m doing the same work as their devs with 2-4 years experience, find out they are billing clients $100/hour for my work. Then, to top it off, the COO makes a joke in a meeting about how it’s not a big deal for their “technical assistant” to be doing lackey work because he’s only paid $13. Fuuuuuuuuck. That comment still makes my blood boil.
I had a nice manager at the time that explained how salary negotiations worked, but I still think it’s lame as hell. I ended up getting put on salary, $50k/year, after threatening to leave.7
In the office, sometimes we order food for lunch.
Me: *goes outside the office to make the call*
*Coding partner arrives while I'm on phone*
Me: *realize that I forgot to ask him if he wanted food* Hey dude, do you want to order something?
Him: *thinks* Nah, I'm fine, I brought my own lunch
Another Guy: That's good because we already called!
Me: Yeah, but it doesn't matter, I can call and tell them "Order++"
Him: Nah dude, tell him "++order", because maybe he'll bring the orders then go back and realize that he missed one
I don't know, it was funny for me 🤷♂️1
"Hello sir, do you have time to talk about...."
Shut the fuck up. Sit the fuck down. Name your stack. I know how to fucking work with it. If I did not select it it is because it was not the right choice. I did not spent 4 years teaching myself to code AND later on obtaining a B.S in Computer Science(another number of years) as well as obtaining industry grade experience for you to tell me what I should use.5
I'm a scrum sprinter using my agile-ity to dodge rock-rigid waterfalls.
My take at another lame joke.
But I still have my legs and can walk...