1. Indent with 3 spaces to fuck both tabs guys and spaces guys git repos.

2. Use windows line endings and laugh and laugh and laugh.

3. Giant full page ascii art intro on every single file.

4. After the giant ascii art intro there are literally zero comments.

5. Keep the bracket on the same line for getters, but on the next line for setters because fuck you.

Biggest challenge: Remember to put ';' (semicolons) in line endings after coding python for 5 years.

Why the f*** was the computer industry not able to contract to common line endings? The trouble started many years ago when I was coding scripts on my Windows machine and they were not every time able to run on a Linux machine. Well I then somehow learned on the hard tour that this is due to wrong line endings. Thought that might be the last time I've seen such problems in my career...

And 10 years later I was going to migrate from CVS and SVN to git, and BAM: the f****** line endings appears to be causing much more problems than in all the ten years before. Why? I ask why is this still necessary in 2017 that a dev has to think about the line endings anymore?? This is so 1991!!!

How to piss off a developer?

1) Make your SDK bundled with an IDE and provide no way to update only the SDK, forcing them to loose all of their IDE settings and customizations.

2) Make GNU tools bundled in the SDK that are compiled 10 years ago and haven't been updated.

3) Provide a Linux version of the SDK, but only save all files in Windows-style line endings.

4) Provide SDKs that introduce bugs and break builds.

5) ???

6) Profit!

F*cking windows and thair stupid alternative line endings. Spend way to much time on trying to make my bash file work. Aparently i copied some command from a website that used windows endings. Wich f*cked everything up

My worst code review involves line endings. In one of our products we use the facade pattern, and one of the facades is about 5000 loc.

Well, a dude in our team messed up with line endings, so our diff tool showed that 5000 lines have changed. A newb I was at that time, I didn't know any other diff tool, so I went through all the lines manually only to see that 2 lines effectively have changed.. and the newb I was, didn't thought about rejecting the change immediately! We then had somehow to revert that commit, but messed up our central repo (was still with CVS). In the end we had to restore the daily backup for the repo because we couldn't manage it to do it right.

Never ever had such a disastrous code review again.

How it started:

Need to replace in a lot of SQL files certain stuff...

find . -type f -iname '*.sql' -exec sed -i 's|new|old|g' {} \;

12 hours later that find executed a shell script containing roughly 120 lines of text pipelining.

The jolly of inconsistent workflows.

Different SQL format stylings... Makes fun when single line string replace needs to be extended to multiline RegEx handling. Or matching SQL comment configuration..

Different line endings. MacOS, Windows, Unix, Bukkake.

Different charsets / collations. Anyone wants latin1_swedish_ci... utf8... utf16... :/

Realizing some people even left sensitive data inside the SQL files (e.g. API Tokens..... Yayyyyyyy).

...

Ugh. It's never a one liner. It's never easy. -.-

I hate cleaning up messy shit.

Fuck you windows and your bizarre line endings.

^M (CR) all over the place now, fuck this, going to make an automated tool now that converts all line endings to LF

So I was looking for a way to easily take android screenshots in a lossless image format, since my OEM only does jpeg.
Didn't want to install another adware and wound up with the adb shell screencap command since I need the pictures on my PC anyways.
But instead of a nice one-liner like
adb shell screencap -p > screenshot.png
I need 3 lines in a bash script.
Can we please just end the line ending wars?

/me joining a new front-end project with enforced prettier rules to complete the build pipeline.

No double-quotes ! Single-quotes all the way !

- weird flex, but OK. I'll comply

No CRLF ! LF only !

- Ok, now you're starting to annoy me. With git autocrlf I can have my precious CR locally bu check in only LF and YOU CAN GIVE THE FUCK ABOUT WHAT LINE ENDINGS I USE LOCALLY WHEN EVERYTHING WILL BE CORRECT WHEN PUSHING COMMITS!

No semi-colons !

- Now I hate you

"Do you use CLRLN (MS Line Endings)".

Hell no, I'm on the dark side. I use LF

Spend hours debugging a python script because tests fail. Turns out ftp (the unix binary) adds CR bytes to every byte in a .gz file that looks like a LF on upload (in test setup). Client and server are both linux. 😭

Yes i know switch to binary mode (that fixed it - why not default??). But still WHY CR? Didn't ask for it. No windows in sight.

CircleCI:
- Ensuring work has meaning: "Let's make yet an other dashboard webapp that going to replace all of our dashboard webapps which we made to replace all of our dashboard webapps"

-Solving interesting problems: "Let's make this with java 15 instead of java 14!!!! Also add graphql to ADD interesting problems nobody had since the nineties!"

- Gain meaningful value from talent: 'Bitbucket and the whole pipeline died fourth time this week, I'm going to drink a coffee or two..."

- Developers in flow: "Joe went to have a lunch around 11:00, you probably should not look for him until 14:30."

- Bring buying decisions closer to the engineering team: "The boss tried to bring up the pros and cons between aws and azure... The police eventually had to break the ensuing fight in the meeting room. The survivors reported things got truly out of hand when someone mentioned line-endings"

- Bring leadership closer to the engineering team: "There was yet an other agile coached hired, when she asked how should we measure velocity one of the lead devs managed to actually wake up and told her that the wifi is still pretty fucking slow"

CRLF line endings.

Why did my bash script stop working?

I accidentally pushed back to git from my windows machine, and it sharted on all my line endings. What a waste of an hour :(

God damnit windows and your stupid dos line endings now I gotta dos2unix the entire gcc and binutils source. Just cuz I ran git clone from the wrong “side” of the machine.