Apparantly, wanting to use company assets for a smoke machine so when clients visit you can say "Welcome to the cloud!" is immature.

Alright so here goes, I currently work at a promising startup. Absolutely love it; nice, hard-working colleagues but there's only a couple of us so we all have to wear a multitude of hats.

I don't mind being on support duty or helping out a customer with a technical question but one thing that really gets to me is lazy people.

We have some instructional videos (made in-house by yours truly) around certain functionality in our app which can't be simplified any further and they're condensed to about 50 seconds each.

I receive an email from a customer saying that he wants the instructions in screenshot form instead of watching the video because he 'detests' watching videos.

I must admit, I was a little hurt because he dismissed my videos so easily without even watching them. Just because he really doesn't like to watch videos? I was dumbfounded.

Me putting (most of) my rustled jimmies aside, I take about an hour to screenshot and document each step of the instructions and send them to the customer with a note: Be careful, if you scroll too fast it turns into a video.

I receive a response saying he doesn't like to watch videos because he is deaf but he did admit he had a chuckle.

Morale of the story lads, keep the sass in in your IDE's and out of your customer interactions.

True story.

So I guess when you go to the doctor's, he's trying to debug you?

No rant, just appreciation

A thank you to the senior developers out there who take the time to help us juniors out, to look at our (potentially) shitty code and point out how to improve it.

To help us to see the bigger picture and maybe take a more lengthy approach to a problem that'll pay off in the end.

And lastly, thanks for allowing us to learn from your years of bug splatting, stack tracing, null pointers and error messages.

You guys rock

The nerdiest way to say happy birthday to someone? Tell them to paste atob("SGFwcHkgQmlydGhkYXkh") in the chrome console/firebug.

Having 11 different IDE's installed to try them out but only use the one text editor.

I'm definitely sticking to one type of quote this time.

Fuck.

That feeling when you're working with production data and you get a cold feeling running down your spine, telling yourself: you could really fuck up now.

So, these guys came to me at work, asking if I knew how the "Low Orbit Scanner" worked...
I said: "no, what's that?"
They said: "It's that tool used for DDoS attacks"
So I replied: "Oh you mean Low Orbit Ion Cannon"
them: "yea that, you know how it works?"
me: "ye, but what do you want to use it for?"
them: "just want to learn how it works"
me: "you download it, run it then fill out the things?"
them: "but I tried it and it doesn't take out the server I tried"
me: "Means your PC is to much of a filthy casual, buy a new one"
them: "can't you help us getting it more effective"
me: "yes, but I rather not end up in jail... I have a job and a clean document..."

The looks of their faces, love to see that disappointment of my colleagues when I say (or atleast hint): "go figure it out yourself"

When a marketing / sales person says in a meeting with executives that our current infrastructure can handle 300.000 new customers easily. (We're at 90 ATM).

Mfw I'm the techie in the room and aware of our non-scaling mysql DB.

Am currently developing an app which uses an IaaS named Auth0. Great experience so far, reasonable docs, unlimited users, social login, sso and support for about $29/m.

After an inquiry from a customer to provide MFA, I contacted Auth0 to see what​ it would take to use this feature.

"We only offer this in our Enterprise plan which starts at $18k/yr."

Well, fuck me with a pitchfork and call me Bridget the midget. I'll code it my goddamn self.

[FEATURE_REQUEST] Could we get a stat that shows how many consecutive days we've visited / opened DevRant?

Just built a solid desktop app for MacOS with Flutter that's worthy of shipping. I gotta say I'm pretty stoked about it, even if it isn't nearly as dope as LOIC. Haha chargin muh lazers!
I'll get some screenshots up soon!!
I also wrote a comple CLI interface for Firebase management using Python. Advanced auth abilities, CRUD capability, full json import/export, verification/password resets, you name it. Well, except full Firestore/mobile OTP features but it's still a win. Actually dicked around and made a cool little Firebase chat program in the terminal with the Python interpreter.
Finished up my first apps in React, React-Native and Ember, my 2nd with Electron, and also got my first Firebase hosted site up and running. Solid day!!! Cheers to that. And cheers to all of you amazing bastards!

Gotta keep chrome browser tools open to disable caching

Does anybody knows, how to open up a server-socket via Python on my smartphone?

Can some1 explain me this in detail, please? c: