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Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.
Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.35 -
"Should I use Mithril or Durandal?"
"I'm sorry, I don't play Dungeons & Dragons.."
"They're Js libraries.."
Fuck sake, because we needed more reasons for people to think we're nerdy virgins.5 -
programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.
please code like it.7 -
devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.
until you mention an OS.
then all bets are off.16 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
People's expression when I explain them devRant:
"..so, it's a social media for the nerdy antisocials"7 -
I can't watch others use a computer.
That's not how you ask google a question.
You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.
Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?
Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?13 -
When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.
8 -
Got some swag in the mail today.
I was told I could get a refund for the hat if it was too small. I literally have the biggest head in the world and it fits me fine.
For those who complained, did you try taking it off and on again?
6 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.
Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?
Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?
If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.
Move along! That rant is not for you!
When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.8 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
Why the Fuck anyone who knows programming is assumed to be nerdy ?
Also, this guy's "multilingual" approach backfired strong
12 -
With the other members of the team refusing to learn git and making changes directly to the staging server i get to write the commit messages for everyone.
Log:
UPDATE: *informative details *
UPDATE: mark made some changes
UPDATE: colin made the same changes as mark but different
UPDATE: andrew undid all colins updates to change one link and I had to add them back in, thank gawd I commit the night before
BUGFIX: andrew keeps changing the database host to localhost and uploading it without changing it back
UPDATE: we all hate andrew15 -
🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.
Translation
🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.22 -
Pair programing on project with friend.
We both feel like the other person is doing all the work and we are not really helping.
Twice the developer power, twice the imposter syndrome.1 -
see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.
when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.3 -
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4 -
I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.
Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.9 -
I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.
2 -
No amount of backend code is seen as progress by client.
Have a web store app project that is running and looking beautifully and is currently connected to nothing.
Got scolded this week for not having any new deliverables.
Spent 15 hours on security updates and database architecture.5 -
Saw a nerdy kid with an awesome coding t-shirt bragging about his immense programming and "hacking" abilities.
"What's your favorite programming language?" I ask.
"Scratch."
...
22 -
Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.
Thanks Best Buy.3 -
a U.S. company that places an order for 100,000 integrated circuits with a Japanese manufacturer. Part of the specification was the defect rate: one chip in 10,000. A few weeks later the order arrived: one large box containing thousands of ICs, and a small one containing just ten. Attached to the small box was a label that read: "These are the faulty ones."3
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After a month of developing for VR I Shattered a light bulb by punching it as hard as I could.
Knew it would happen.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.1 -
This week Im firing a guy who I hired 5 weeks ago. I cant take it anymore. I setted up a nice environment for him and he keeps taking whole day sometimes two or three to do a 2 hour task. He came from electrical engineering background and never had a software dev job. As a person hes more creative type not logical based type. I dont have nor patience nor resources nor time to teach him basics that be could google but simply doesnt have the mindset to do. Sorry bill gates not everyone can learn how to code, or at least not everyone should.
Advice to other people hiring new hires: test the shit out of them before hiring, dont hire from gut. This guy was giving out a nerd vibe, but the only nerd thing that he has is nerdy puns, other than that as a software dev he know less than I did when I was 12 years old.25 -
Coffee and wine are my life coaches.
Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!
End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.1 -
Coolest thing about platforms like devrant, is that it's so easy to get people to read what you have to say, and get them to notice you.
It doesn't matter if you have a nice profile picture, have a lot of friends/followers or anything like that.
The content is what matters.
Also, its not like everything here is developer related or is super nerdy, most of the stuff you see are normal things you'd expect people to post on things like Facebook when they want to be social and connect with people.
It's sad that this is not how most social media is done.7 -
I am not saying I trust 'the cloud' 100%, but having the freedom to wipe your phone, laptop, or pc at a moments notice without a second thought or worry is an incredible feeling.
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When you have to spend two days inventing math formulas for work because google won't tell you how to sort every possible combination of an array of arrays into a zero based number list, or how to get a combination from just it's index.
12 -
Working with clients Across the globe.
12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.
3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.2 -
Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.
Me: ok
Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.
Go back to boss.
Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.
Boss: ok.
Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.
Look like gold.3 -
accedently used chmod on chmod so i no longer had permissions to chmod.
thank goodness for remote server images.5 -
So I went to a Linux meetup group and there was this dude wearing an Arch Linux shirt and I went straight up to him and mocked him a bit. Had a nice conversation about i3 configs and other nerdy stuff. We stayed in touch via twitter :)4
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Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.
Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.
Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.
Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.
Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.4 -
Been off work for the last 2 weeks, got a text yesterday and apparently everything was manic. Kind of nice to know everything falls apart when I'm not there ;)3
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A little late, and similar to other lovely ladies on here, but the greatest influencer for me is my husband.
He's always pushed me to learn more and be a better, cleaner coder. He taught me continuous integration, introduced me to the Atom editor, and showed me that my nerdy interests and choice of career can actually be quite attractive and not "intimidating" or "inappropriate” for a woman.
He's my go-to hackathon partner, my strictest code reviewer, and my life long teacher.
Ich liebe dich, mein Schatzelein! 😍7 -
I draw things! I bet we all draw things, but I still think it counts as nerdy.
...unless you draw UML diagrams on whiteboards. Doesn't count.
... unless you draw stick figures battling ON those UML diagrams. Counts.
... unless those stick figures battling demonstrate dependencies or demographics. Doesn't count.
... unless you put little pirate hats on them. Counts.
... unless you're contracting for a Somali counter-piracy recon project. Doesn't count.
... unless you also include dank memes. Counts.3 -
Good news everyone!
unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();13 -
Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.
Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.1 -
Here's a silly side project I've been working on just for fun:
https://soundofco.de/
It "programmatically" creates sound from code (or plain text) on GitHub. I wouldn't call it music, because it sounds kind of horrible almost all of the time :D It's very simple: The length of a line defines the note to be played. Really just a nerdy bit of fun.
Unfortunately I have absolutely zero knowledge in music theory and I have no idea how to make the resulting sounds more pleasant or even melodic. If you're interested in making this better or helping out with feedback, you can find the project at https://github.com/dneustadt/...
Also feel free to share if you find anything on GitHub that makes for some decent sounds :D (I doubt it)12 -
Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!
I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.
Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.8 -
me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?
🕛3 hours later.
client: yes, that is correct.
me: 😧2 -
bash.org, this website always cracks me up. Never gets old.
A few hilarious samples, if you will:
http://bash.org/?23601
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
http://www.bash.org/?14258
<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards5 -
Hahaha guys I got the HTTP response codes tattooed on my arm so I don't forget them! Aren't I fun and quirky? I'm such a code nerd, oh thanks for the likes, Twitter! Wowowowow i am just SO FUN. Look at my nerdy tattoo!!
10 -
i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.
spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.
i have a great job so my boss supports me.5 -
Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.2 -
It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
-
Being that none of my family or friends code, it is nice to be here with others who are nerdy. What a great place5
-
Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.
Devrant has become a cabal.5 -
The nerdiest way to say happy birthday to someone? Tell them to paste atob("SGFwcHkgQmlydGhkYXkh") in the chrome console/firebug.3
-
Start changing how young people look at programming. It’s not nerds doing nerdy things, it’s about real people using code to solve real problems. I think once the mindset changes it will get many more people interested.6
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Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
Dev rant logo has face sideways.
But I keep seeing people place their stickers so the face is upright.
Doesn't really matter, but my OCD is killing me. -
Updating code for big client.
Find that they are not encrypting passwords in the database and are not sanitizing user input from forms.
Do not trust the user!2 -
I know a developer who works for a Mortgage Company, and he is dangerously incompetent. He used to work for my boss before I did and we both told his new boss how unqualified he is, but because he's able to get things "done" they think he does a good job. But I've been in the code and their entire system could any day just completely Fall Apart and they could be in a lot of trouble and we tell them this and they don't listen to us.5
-
Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.
Fucking google3 -
We had a kind of "computer club" back in a year. (AG in germany). The teacher left us (4 nerdy geeks) alone for a few minutes because he had to check on something.
He was still logged in with his IT-teacher account.
After a minute of reseach and a few little commands, we had our own school network admin account.
They still haven't removed (probably not even discovered) the account.
Sadly, the localgroup admin didn't have the highest rights..1 -
So... Intense pillowtalk with the wife the other night regarding the coming enforcement of the new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) law in the EU after a while turns into nerdy dirty talk.
Me: *Whisper in a sleazy voice like the dirty malware that I am*: So... Why don't you just open up all your inbound firewall ports for me...
Her: Hell no... But I might just make an exception in the private domain just for you...4 -
I can't get the wifi generation. I love cables (except when they are in front of the tv), their performance, their plug-n-play without conflicts, that high level of nerdy childish porn of 80's in all the magnificence. It's just me? *snowflake feelings*8
-
😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.3 -
Worked from home,
Ate lunch at home,
Stayed in for dinner.
I did not see the sky at all yesterday. 😫5 -
@dfox
Only 2 rants an hour.
Ok
How about the ability to save and manually post later feature?
I had an idea for a rant. It was gold i tells ya... if only I could remember what it was. 😥8 -
Would you rather program one handed because...
A). Broken arm.
B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.6 -
i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.
both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.
I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.2 -
who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
-
You know your a dev when quality time with the kids is sitting them on your lap and letting them watch Netflix on one monitor while you program on the other.2
-
Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.
Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.
Gawd I'm tired.
2 -
@dfox @trogus
Wait?
Does the devrant face thing have a name?
I have been calling my stress ball Devin when I use it to rubber duck debug.
Devin, developer, devrant...
I know, home run.😅7 -
The first time you try to google what an operator does by using the symbol in the search bar because you don't know the name for it.
2 -
If you need to relax, watch this dokumentation from the year 1982 about UNIX and C at bell labs with Dennis Ritchie, Ken Thompsen and mr. super cool Brian W. Kernighan.
https://youtu.be/tc4ROCJYbm0
amazing right? -
Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.
Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.
Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.
This is my new home.4 -
My very first wow, was back in 2011 as a freshman at university, algorithm classes. Our first language was Pascal, (because it was easy to learn and get to the idea of programming.) so, lecturer wrote Hello World! and that moment was the best part, when I realized that was called a program. After all these years I still remember this output. ❤️ awesome.
After this, its injected in my veins and soul. Even when I come home drunk or coming from the friends, I open my macbook and trying to write some cool , nerdy staff.
Its my life, my passion, my hobby. I dropped everything for this. ^^
Long story short, every time I feel amazing when I do something new and interesting. -
My fellow nerdy ranters what's the best way to take care of social anxiety completely, am contemplating alcohol10
-
And then I thought why not turn my resume into something weird and nerdy. And the result is this, a web app which looks like a terminal and connects to an actual Ubuntu terminal. It's not great, but it's something. 😃
https://resume-rahul-ramteke.herokuapp.com/...22 -
Spent half day trying to figure out why internet stopped working in he office.
Somehow, the tangle of wires behind computer created some kind of Faraday cage that was blocking / interfering with the signal.
Just the most insane IT problem ever.1 -
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
/badhumor
Make a song title or text geeky/dev related, e.g.:
JSON Derulo - Talk Nerdy To Me
Katy Proggy - Firewall
DJ KhaLED - All I Do Is Print
DJ snake_case - Git Push For What
Now you!4 -
Spending hours trying to solve a problem just to find that the answer was not just simple, but well known. You just didn't know the technical term to search for.1
-
Looks like I'm @dfox evil twin.
class nerd-san extends dfox {
constructor() {
evil = true;
sunglasses = true;
}
}
2 -
Sometimes I hate it to be a "computer-guy". There is this one beautiful girl, I see her everyday in the train, but I just can't talk to her. I hate myself for not just saying " Hi" or whatever. I'd love to "just say something", but it doesn't work! Why the fuck am I thinking this much?!
Any tips? From dev to dev? Please?!33 -
>Wanted to become a hacker because I thought it was cool and fun
>Googled how to become a hacker
>Read a lot of articles
>Talked about it with nerdy friends who ended up helping me with a few resources
>Found Hack Forums
>Stayed on Hack Forums for a while and learnt a lot about malware and hacking and realized I needed to learn how to code to build my own hacking programs
>Got a book from a friend (It was a dev book based on basic)
>Got fascinated with programming and quickly moved on to C++
>Got frustrated with C++ and quit programming for months
>Got introduced to VB.Net and I finally could write codes and development a lot of applications, mainly malware creators and crypters as they were called on HE
>Quit HF and hacking and got into coding seriously and learnt web dev , then java and developing android apps and I have been happy since.2 -
squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.
what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.2 -
To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.
I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU! -
The clients website was so slow,
How slow was it?!
This site was so slow the goodle speed test timed out. -
disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.
boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them. -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒2 -
Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.
The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.
Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.
He turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.
"At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."1 -
There is an nerdy socially retarded IT head. He asked me to look into a project after the programmers left the company. Basically he gave me a list of modification with one particular screenshot of Calendar( seems like a JQuery plugin) and asked me to develop it.. I asked him to give me the link from where he got the Calendar... No fucking response in Skype.
So after a month he asked me to show the project, I showed him with the Calendar similar to picture and no functionality. He said it was CRAP. I asked him to give me proper documentation as what he expects and what he wants.
BUT FUCK NO. HE SAYS, "ARE YOU A JUNIOR CODER? DO IT WITHIN A WEEK OR WE ARE DONE. "
And I am here keeping myself in control not to punch him. he lives nearby my house wondering if he lives alone 😂4 -
One more time.
ppi != resolution != size ! = aspect ratio
ppi is a measurement of sharpness.
Resolution is the depth of pixels.
Size is width and height mesured in units.
Aspect ratio is the... ratio of width to height.2 -
What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing.... -
Can someone tell me how a mid level developer with a PhD from EU country is unable to work independently, conduct investigation by himself without too much hand-holding?
Is he too allergic to use google search?
Or is it me that have too much expectation? He's been in our team for 3 months, he should be able to search docs/procedure/files by himself now. Is it me that are too workaholic nerdy and he's just a normal person?
🤔
Thankfully he's the nicest person in our team, but I am getting fed up having to answer his questions many times.12 -
Does devrant have a public api? Tempted to write an atom plugin so I can pretend to work, but actually rant.1
-
i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.
every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.
i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.6 -
When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.' -
so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss
-
Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.
Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.
(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))1 -
Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.3
-
I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.1 -
Am I the only one who doesn't really see feel or need as an insult? Geek means someone who "messed around" with tech and need is someone who is smart. Why do people get offended by it? I mean, I get that people mean it offensively but is it really something to get that upset about? If someone was to call me a geek or need. Imma walk with my head high and own it.9
-
Guys! Let’s have a contest.
I need a new name for a new journal for my new thoughts. Deep thoughts.
Person who best chooses a name that is fitting (maybe nerdy too) gets a ++ and a screenshot of my handwriting.17 -
Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.
4 -
Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.
-
https://youtu.be/2VkNWLYD5c4
What this? Kids who use tablets and technology have IMPROVED fine motor skills over those who do not.
How can this be? Everything the new generation has that older generations did not is always the worst thing ever.3 -
A 20-Something: “Hey, why aren’t you dressing up on spirit week decades dress theme days in the office this week?”
“Because I lived in all those decades and my childhood is not a costume.”
“Okaaaay…”
“Because when we dressed up for spirit week in high school we nerdy kids would always get made fun of by the jocks and cheerleaders because we didn’t get the memo that spirit week was only for the cool kids. I have trauma I’m still working through because of that.”
“Geez, I…”
“Look, I got rid of all that shit years ago. Now I’m supposed to go to a thrift store and spend money I earned here for real world needs on 4 new sets of clothes I will wear one time each? That’s literally my gas money to get to this office in an inflated economy. No.”
Me. In my head. Coming up with things to explain myself when I show up at the office dressed like it’s a regular day.2 -
First time today trying a sensory deprivation chamber.
All I could think was
"error no input signal"4 -
The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.
For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.1 -
Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point. -
I see. They have to be geeky...mmmmh
I read a lot about biology, chemistry, physics and mathematics.
My two fav subjects are biology and math from the above. And I try to attend to as many lectures as I can.
Biology fascinates me to no end and it helps that one of my closest friends works as a resesrcher in Mexico, we are far but we get to talk about it all the time. He is more than happy to go on large lectures about the subject.
I also read a fuckload of fantasy books as well as manga. I also go on anime binged here and there.
In perspective though, i don't think anything is as nerdy as software development. SPECIALLY if it involves large portions of math(which in my case does for the things we develop for the accounting department)
( . Y . ) <--- chichis6 -
When not coding I love writing scifi so I can explore technologies I'm too impatient to wait on. Would love any and all thoughts on my recent piece (can just read intro if you want): https://inkshares.com/books/...
3 -
talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.
i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.
which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.
6 -
I have a lot of fun during crunch time.
It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.
But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.
You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.
"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '
Otherwise a lot of fun. -
wow, to think about it , I have not been really 'excited' about stuff for last few years...
Now its like yeah, this is all a rat race...gotta learn this , learn that ,learn everything...but not really excited about it..Maybe feel like a thug-life boss if I get paid or recognised for my work...
However this is a race I am happy to run in,I like coding, like nerdy/smart tech jokes , like learning new stuff, and like my programming life.
A day without opening my laptop is really a day I feel sad but not the other way round. -
I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.
Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.1 -
"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.1 -
Anyone just have like a weekend where they stay up really late doing nerdy things or work on their personal projects? I sometimes find myself on certain weekends that I just work on a bunch of personal code, websites, or even if it is changing my accounts around.5
-
I was working on computer project with a friend. He saw my devRant stressball was sideways so he turned it upright. I saw it was upright so I turned it sideways. We both have aspergers so we keep doing this for two hours before either one of us says anything about the OCD battle we were having.
You would think acknowledging the situation would allow us to laugh it off and get on with our work....
Half an hour later Devy McRant Face has to go in a drawer so we can move on. -
VR is great. Been getting together weekly with my dungeon and dragon friends from highschool but instead of meeting in person we get together in vr.
Feels just like getting together in person but is more convenient since we each connect from our own homes.2 -
Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.1
-
That nerdy moment when you explain HTML/CSS to a friend willing to learn how things work and you're using Star Trek factions as an example. Gutters become neutral zones, classes become colors by discipline, and Romulans are designated by their identification as a species after the Hobus star system goes supernova.
http://codepen.io/lquessenberry/...4 -
When client budget is less than the time needed to do a good jobs.
Happens more than I like.
"We’ve all said we’d go back and clean it up later. Of course, in those days we didn’t know LeBlanc’s law: Later equals never."
-Clean Code1 -
So many 'my Precious' devrant stickers, but nowhere to put them.
Waiting for new laptop in three months, trade out phone every year so don't want to waist them there.
Friend: you can give one to me.
HISSSSSSSSSS!
Friend: woah, dude?
Yeah, they do look sad just sitting in the envelope they came in. Here you go.
Friend: Thanks. I don't know, still looks sad on my laptop.
Well, that's cause your laptop's shit init.1 -
any time i come up with a cleaver solution to a problem I remember my cousin who works for nasa and i mope about how I've waisted my life and nothing i do matters.5
-
At work we develop for embedded systems. Using the heap can raise unknown effects sometimes. So we always try to avoid using it. To show our attitude regarding the heap we want to make T-Shirts like the No Ma'am shirts from Married... with Children but with No Heap instead of No Ma'am. Now we need a meaning of the acronym. Our currently idea is:
Nerdy
Opponents of
HEAP
E
Allocation
Practice
We do not find a good word for the E, we also aren't native speaker, thus we are not sure which synonym for word like based can be used in such context. So i want to ask if someone has a good idea or even a better idea for the whole acronym :)
4 -
Buying a brand new laptop, I think I'll save some money and get an i5 instead of an i7 and then turn around the next day and decide I hate money and I love having a computer that's more powerful than I need it to be.7
-
Code editors as Doom skill levels:
coda = I'm too young to die.
notepad++ = Hey, not to rough.
sublime = Hurt me plenty.
vi = Ultra-Violence.
emacs = Nightmare!3 -
I watch nerdy films and understand the jargon they use...
"strip the headers..."
I bet it's like being a surgeon watching House2 -
when the pm chooses a js library but says can you just change this... either accept the library as you chose it or give a proper spec to write it from scratch
-
Spend the same amount of time looking for and testing existing npm packages as it would take to build something from scratch.
Nothing yet, but Boss is still certain that building our own is unnecessary.
😐 -
"I don't think anyone will mind if we update and make all old code incompatible."
- every reat/soap service the day after you finish development. -
I like nerdy and cool coffee mugs. Comment with your favorites—bonus points for pictures! My best one right now is a Fermilab mug. Looking to buy a new dev-related mug!
(If only there was a devRant mug...)2 -
when i brought the vive home the wife was all, meah😒, at first then, 😲 oh my goodness this is the halo deck, our future is an empty room with vr goggles.
-
Didn't learn to code till late 20's
Always wanted to program since I was a little kid but was discouraged by everyone I ever talked to about it as it being 'too difficult .'
Finally had an awsome college professor that took special interest to encourage me to go after it. -
Site working for me and not coworker during testing.
Go crazzy for 10 minutes.
Find resource pointed to http://localhost/file.php
Feel silly rest of day. -
This book I'm reading on SEO is like drinking nightquil.
The more I read the harder it gets to not pass out.6 -
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
Holding back so hard on getting a new laptop.
We are so close to getting the hardware i want at the price I can accept.1 -
Dear clients
Websites are not a turnkey business.
Your site is going to need maintenance overtime. And you are going to need to pay for it. -
"Oh computer, your real name should be porn funnel. I love my family more than you, but only collectively. on a case by case basis I love you more than any individual family member. "
-Nerd 'robot chicken' -
on live server
me: these root server files have loose permissions.
sudo chmod -rf 644 /*
me: well... 'cd' works, but nothing else. -
Area of focus?
Whatever the client currently needs.
Because, who has time to specialize when there are bills to pay? -
Just got my Maker Fair NYC tickets. Me, My Brother, My Nephew and my Daughter. Gonna be a blast. Just a little disappointed that Raspberry Pi will not be having a booth this year.
We won’t be hard to spot, we will be the group of nerdy looking people... lol ... if that narrows it down for you.2 -
By the end of the day my eyes always feel like they are on fire.
After four years of this it is time to get some blue light filtering computer glasses.6 -
When you go from compiling/testing code on every line change to not checking for hours and it just works when you run it.
😎
Not always, but sometimes. -
!dev
Whenever I get free time I spend it on another nerdy hobby of mine.
Anime is trash…
And so am I…1 -
It's funny that I already do the <@user> when mentioning someone automatically.
If some still don't understand why tf I do that:
If find the typical one liner mentions too ugly. I just thought I'd be more nerdy and do the HTML <> thingys.
- Example -
Normal:
```
@user yes!
```
Mine:
```
<@user>
Yes!
```
Much more beautiful!!! :)
(Just as myself)3 -
write comment about posters preference of device or OS.
close eyes and imagine the meaningless flame war that would follow.
delete comment.
feel good about choice.
good for me. -
Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.1 -
for on the go developinh I have completely replaced my laptop with my phone and a folding Bluetooth keyboard.
It can really do anything my laptop did, and if needed I can just remote desktop into my pc or ssh into a server.2 -
!rant
You know you're a nerd when you hear a song Weird Al parodied and you start singing the parody lyrics. -
i really dislike inheriting depricated projects😓.
really wanted to use angular 2 for current project but our hosting server is outdated and nodejs wont run on it.
realy wish we could update the server, but doing this would break 10 older sites we are being paid to host .
any ideas?15 -
Working with friend and using nodejs websockets and SVG to build online multiplayer lazer screen arcade like games.
The only delay is having to stop every couple of minutes to restate how cool this is. -
Cold-brewed yerba mate, iced brewed crio bru, Adderall, duck.
I believe I have everything that I need to hit those deadlines before break.
1 -
4200 php files with exploit code removed or cleaned and 12 hours of work, and I can cautiously sigh a relief2
-
Just got back from my interrailling trip across Europe! Are there any folks from Florence ? French Riviera ? Paris ?
It was awesome and I'm kind of sad I didn't have more time to meet some of you there!
It's also nice to shut off all the tech and nerdy jokes you laugh at before starting to cry and falling to anxiety because understanding them means you have no life
Hope some of you will travel to my country too 😎5 -
I feel really frustrated and annoyed right now. The reason for that is that I'm in spain with my family and they take me every day to the beach to go swimming, lay down in the sun and watch old women without bra they are all like 40 - 60 years old. The worst part I didn't bring my computer with me. Well I brought my phone and my tablet but I don't like to code with them.
All I'm saying is that it's really boring and I want to be with my computer in my own nerdy environment and coding something. I want to be wierd again I don't like this normal world they are just wasting their.
It's gonna be like this till monday next week. What do I do guys, does anybody else feel the same?12 -
damn sorry devs , i know you ppl are here for relaxation , but please help me out.
i am creating a browser and wanna have an edittext which works something like this :
>>user enters 'fb' , there should be a google search for fb(i.e load the string "https://www.google.com/search?q=fb")
>> user enters fb.com , webview should open it directly (i.e load the string "https://www.fb.com" )
>> some nerdy user enters http://www.fb.com or https://www.fb.com , it should load that
I know the function to make it load, what i don't know is how to modify that string to show such behaviors .
The webview is dumb enough to not behave like tht by default. although it feels good having such a raw and tool in hand, but hell, its a fucking google's webview! , why can't they just throw in some built in ways to show their search results by default when user enters a malformed url ?? that would be a great source of branding --__--7 -
i know i could have done this in 10 min using our current framework,
but i really wanted to learn this new framework.
only took 10 hours to figure out.
still considering it a win. -
being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
Sick at the start of the week end, then there was daylight savings time.
I haven't had a good night sleep in almost a week.
Calling it for the day to rest. Sacrificing half the day to save the next two. -
0) I can be as socially withdrawn as possible without getting eyes and comments on being socially withdrawn. Going to a tea house with a laptop to code in a corner sipping Earl Grey is great without getting questioned.
1) I can make whatever the hell I want. I can do whatever the hell I want. I can automate whatever the hell I want. And then I can Humble Brag™ to everyone.
2) Because it's fun. I get to meet more folks I haven't met before through hubs like this and programmer Discord servers. And we can be nerdy together.
Edit: Also because I have a fecking pillow fort on my bed made for tucking in while coding. It feels gud in pillow fort. All of us needs a coding pillow fort.
1 -
My biggest regret is not becoming a programmer sooner in life. Ever since I saw the computer wore tennis shoes when I was 5 I wanted to be a computer programmer. But my brother discouraged me saying it was so difficult but no one did it. So I thought I guess if no one is doing it.... Then in both Junior High and High School they have computer classes but you had to be friends with the teacher to even know it existed in the first place. I was not on good terms with him.
Thanks to a very encouraging Teacher at Art School I finally I was able to pursue my lifelong interest in computers. -
Never got to the bottom of if..but in school got to try VB and Pascal )))) Yeap..there were those times and got something in it...so ca 20 years later i cottcha myself speak some PHP, not completly fluent in HTML & CCS yet, understand a little python and JS with jQuiery....a big help of W3Shool..and the other cooding shcools. Well..my mobDev is full of coodeing learning apps and i know what is bootstrap....well..i am also in my 40 ies....never say its too late...ehh..what i am ranting here..i am just an amateur and selfy 😀 but nerdy and with da geek attitude...
-
inherited management and development of a cms that is both beautiful and terrify.
when the developer nefore you was a mystic of programming that you will never be equal to.😅😟😢 -
There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2 -
there is no time in the budget for refactoring the code that is being shipped to live.
the only refactoring i get done is the code going into my portfolio. -
Google will be doing its last online coding competition in April. They've been running 20 years. Personally I think this kinda thing is one of the highlights of being a programmer, a load of random people around the world coming together to do their fun, nerdy hobby.
https://developers.googleblog.com/2... -
Hey Guys!! I need your help. Next week the new company I am working for has a costume party and I am thinking of a funny nerdy costume but all I was able to think of was Jenkins😂
I hope you got better ideas!!8 -
Any reputable trade magazines or websites i should be looking at that are not just the technology equivalent to the natuonal inquirer?1
-
I don't know how much use others get out of the zoom functionality in browsers.
normally i have several different browsers open with multiple windows on a single monitor with half of them zoomed to 50% so I can fit more and still see everything at once without juggling whats on top or switching desktops. -
Just read an article on cnn.
If people start using the term Aspies for people with aspergers I am just going to start kicking people in the taint.1 -
if i get a nerdy girlfriend just know i smashed the day before each day where i commit 5+ times on github2
-
Problem with touchscreens.
Look away from phone for a minute and when I turn back to find I somehow navigated to a settings menu.
Oh crap! Did I change anything?!
Factory reset phone just to be safe. -
If a "not a CSE " kid tries to do something in ECA, people are appreciative of that.
But if a CSE guy does it, it is just another nerdy thing he does to become "cool".
WTF5 -
did a google search for typesceipt date formating as just 'ts date'...
the results were less than helpful.1 -
😢I can't find a solution on stack overflow. All hope is lost!
😽have you tried reading the documentation?
😧oh... there it is. -
Top instrumental bands to listen to while programming?
Adebisi Shank
https://music.youtube.com/watch/...5 -
the penny-arcade comic today has a part of a conversation I have had before.
me: ... I did some internet research.
friend: Google. First result. Okay, continue. -
For some reason I always forget the enctype from forms with file uploads. Spent half an hour today digging through the functions for saving the file before discovering the image want being posted at all. D'oh
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