F*CKING DESIGNERS.

Stop sending me your freaking PNG. Don't even dare to FREAKIN' make me use Chrome DevTools to get your FREAKIN' color our of your FREAKIN' PNG.

Give me all your colors in FREAKIN' hex, rgba, or whatever you want.

Give me all the fonts you used.

Give me all the sizes, is it percentage-based? Pixels based? Donuts-based?

I don't give a damn that you think you went responsive-first. Show me the damn responsive mockups. Not just the desktop sized with a note: "Don't worry mate, I made so that it all goes well when responsive".

Oh god. Oh god.

I'm not an artist, I give zero shit about how great it looks.

I'm a programming poet, I want to write code without having to open (or download it first through torrent) the damn photoshop, sketch, or whatever you use.

They take freakin' months to dump a mockup and we have days to make it happen. The pain.

The pain is strong with those damn designers.

Fuck.

Jack and Jill
Pulled down from git
To fetch aPaleOfWater.c
Jack made some changes
And then pushed them all up
A merge conflict occurred
Jill decided his changes sucked
And push --force over his
Jack was enraged
For history was changed
And force pushed Jill
down a hill

@dfox & @trogus
Just finished reading your app update and I must say that I'm very impressed with the number of changes that have come out in the past six or so weeks. Good job guys and keep up the good work!

PS an autocomplete '@' mention feature would be really helpful.

That feeling when you're finally able to reproduce a bug...
Now it's time to dig through the logs to see what actually happened.

A developer poem :

A developer is fond of ducks,
Because they don't give fucks :D

When the poet in me fuses with the geek in me:

Will you be the css to my html?

When I encountered you,
My system threw a fatal error
My RAM was overloaded,
And my CPU went haywire

Will you be the css to my html?

I would show you my source code,
And let you merge your branch into mine
I will help you fix your memory leaks
And I will try filling all your nullpointers

Will you be the css to my html?

Your frontend would perfectly plug into my backend
I can compile all your heavy code,
Just in time

Baby just promise me,
You'll provide the JSON
To my API calls

Will you be the css to my html?

This is my first draft... Constructive criticism is welcome!

So recently I installed Windows 7 on my thiccpad to get Hyperdimension Neptunia to run (yes 50GB wasted just to run a game)... And boy did I love the experience.

ThinkPads are business hardware, remember that. And it's been booting Debian rock solid since.. pretty much forever. There are no hardware issues here. Just saying.

With that out of the way I flashed Windows 7 Ultimate on a USB stick and attempted to boot it... Oh yay, first hurdle to overcome. It can't boot in UEFI mode. Move on Debian, you too shall boot in BIOS mode now! But okay, whatever right. So I set it to BIOS mode and shuffled Debian's partitions around a bit to be left with 3 partitions where Windows could stick in one more.

Installed, it asks for activation. Now my ThinkPad comes with a Windows 7 Pro license key, so fuck it let's just use that and Windows will be able to disable the features that are only available for Ultimate users, right? How convenient would that be, to have one ISO for all the half a dozen editions that each Windows release has? And have the system just disable (or since we're in the installer anyway, not install them in the first place) features depending on what key you used? Haha no, this is Microsoft! Developers developers developers DEVELOPERS!!! Oh and Zune, if anyone remembers that clusterfuck. Crackhead Microsoft.

But okay whatever, no activation then and I'll just fetch Windows Loader from my webserver afterwards to keygen my way through. Too bad you didn't accept that key Microsoft! Wouldn't that have been nice.

So finally booted into the installed system now, and behold finally we find something nice! Apparently Windows 7 Enterprise and Ultimate offer a native NFS driver. That's awesome! That way I don't have to adjust my file server at all. Just some fuckery with registry keys to get the UID and GID correct, but I'll forgive it for that. It's not exactly "native" to Windows after all. The fact that it even has a built-in driver for it is something I found pretty neat already.

Fast-forward a few hours and it's time to Re Boot.. drivers from Lenovo that required reboots and whatnot. Fire the system back up, and low and behold the network drive doesn't mount anymore. I've read that this is apparently due to Windows (not always but often) mounting the network drive before the network comes up. Absolutely brilliant! Move out shitstaind, have you seen this beauty of an init Mr. Poet?

But fuck it we can mount that manually after every single boot.. you know, convenient like that. C O P E.

With it now manually mounted, let's watch a movie! I've recently seen Pyro's review on The Platform and I absolutely loved it. The movie itself is quite good too. Open the directory on my file server and.. oh. Windows.. you just put db.thumb on it and db.thumb:encryptable. I shit you not, with the colon and everything. I thought that file names couldn't contain colons Windows! I thought that was illegal in NTFS. Why you doing this in NFS mate? And "encryptable", am I already infected with ransomware??? If it wasn't for the fact that that could also be disabled with something as easy as a registry key, I would've thought I contracted ransomware!

Oh and sound to go with that video, let's pair up some Bluetooth headphones with that Bluetooth driver I installed earlier! Except.. haha nope. Apparently you don't get that either.

Right so let's just navigate the system in its Aero glory... Gonna need to flick the mouse for that. Except it's excruciatingly slow, even the fastest speed is slower than what I'm used to on Linux.. and it's jerky as hell (Linux doesn't have any of that at higher speed). But hey it can compensate for that! Except that slows down the mouse even more. And occasionally the mouse driver gets fucked up too. Wanna scroll on Telegram messages in a chat where you're admin? Well fuck you mate, let me select all these messages for you and auto scroll at supersonic speeds! And God forbid that you press delete with that admin access of yours. Oh maybe I'll do it for you, helpful OS I am!

And the most saddening part of it all? I'd argue that Windows 7 is the best operating system that Microsoft ever released. Yeah. That's the best they could come up with. But at least it plays le games!

"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."

I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."

To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.

And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.

Steal this poem.

When you accidentally release your inner poet while coding...

Code is poetry.

When a fellow programmer/teammate, who tends to be a little to extroverted for my tastes, decides he had nothing to do for the last hour and wants to come talk. An hour and a half later it finally makes sense to just call it a day.

The earliest high-profile “native ad” I know of happened in 1831, when Alexander Pushkin released “Evgeny Onegin”. This is a very big deal. Russian Empire had huge cultural influence back then, and it was fashionable. Everything coming from it was cool. Sobranie London still has Russian Empire coat of arms as their logo. Also, Pushkin is regarded by many to be the best Russian poet ever, with Evgeny Onegin being his flagship masterpiece.

So, Breguet, the watch company, decided to advertise in this very piece. It went like this (sorry for the lack of rhyme and the overall lameness in my translation, it is hardly possible to translate Russian poetry to English):

Wearing a wide bolivar hat,
Onegin is going to the avenue
He's chilling there until
Breguet that never sleeps
Chimes him that it is time
To go and get something to eat

To put it into a context, it's as if someone bought an ad in Romeo and Juliet.

I manage the infrastructure of an application. Responsible for setup, maintenance and upgrades of all the associated servers, databases, filesystems and tuning. The business area is responsible for maintaining the content and structure of the app.

A couple of weeks ago, the business area started asking me for the system admin passwords in an attempt to integrate a remote service. The reason was because he didn't want to store his own credentials in Jenkins. Imagine the shock when they were told no.

Then a week ago, they asked for the password again so they could update a properties file. Again, the answer was no.

We sent them an email yesterday asking for their change management number so we could make the change to the properties file. They were absolutely shocked to find out that we hadn't already updated the file because they had already deployed their code changes to go with the properties file last Thursday. They submitted the request to us on Friday.

Getting real tired of people screwing up and pointing the finger back at me.

Each programmer is a poet at heart
Programmers are like God. We create defects and also kill them too. We spend the whole day fixing a defect, and the patch itself gives birth to a few more defects of its own.

Not posting as often lately because my childhood dream — a Nintendo DSi — finally arrived, in time for my birthday. More of a gift to that teenage boy who’s dead now than to his older trans female counterpart, but still.

Been playing Pokémon HeartGold, enjoying my life, all due to things improving at work & medication cumulative effect kicking in. Finally.

Without burning internal pain, a poet ceases to be a poet. I rarely write now. I still have wild dreams, and I write down snippets for them not to be lost when I’m properly awake, but I just… don’t have that strong of an urge to share them here. Maybe I’m not as dependent on someone else’s validation anymore.

I’m planning to team up with someone who can draw, so we can make zines, as suggested by you. If you can draw — let’s talk!

Rant pending...
So our company has been talking about bringing in the full Atlassian suite (JIRA, Bamboo, Bitbucket, Fisheye and Crucible). Anyone familiar with using the entire suite? Just wondering what kind of hell to expect.

When your new upgrade process looks like it will save you a few hours of time. After 18 hours and scrapping the improved process we've finally got the green light.

How does a dyslexic poet write? Inverse.

!rant
Anyone from Sweden? I found an engineer position I want to apply for, but was curious about things like quality of life and such.

Coders are poet.

New question.
When debugging/troubleshooting, what does your desktop look like?

I have a total of 8 production environments to look after, each of which have their appropriate dev environments. Troubleshooting for me typically starts with VisualVM, 6-8 Putty sessions across the environments, at least one dbms session, WinSCP with at least 4 sessions, text editor with minimum of five open files and at least thirty tabs open in Chrome. Oh yeah, forgot outlook and Skype (typically with at least three team mates and usually a group chat).

All is well when I'm in the zone, but good forbid for someone to ask me to show them the article/bug report I just read that sent me down the rabbit hole.

Taking my first steps in with my coding Blog. Harder than i expected...