😂😂😂

Santa needs a computer and internet now 😂

Christmas song for UNIX hackers:

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus < north pole > town

cat /etc/passed > list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice > giftlist
santa claus < north pole > town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}

(By Frank Carey, AT&T Bell Laboratories, 1985 )

He's making a list 🌲

He's checking it twice 🎅

He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice 🎁

Santa Claus is in contravention of article 4 of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679

Right now, we are playing a game, where we have to do a UML-Class-Diagram for a Gift-Management-Software for Santa Claus.
College, go figure.

Remember the Christmas lecture I told you about?
Did you know, we have Santa in our faculty and he only communicates in the "Ho, ho, ho!" language?
So they created a ho ho ho programming language based on brainfuck and a way to do multiplications with a christmas tree🌲 and the prof sang a song to Andrew Tanenbaum. We had Punsch or Glühwein and Christmas cookies and there was a flashmob of the new choir 'C#' aaah it was just so cool
Last year they sent a paper to the journal of Universal Rejection, the paper is called: "Toward Xmas 4.0 - Recent Advances in Santa Claus Research"

I saw Santa! Hopefully he's bringing me a bug free solution to this backend scoring algorithm I'm developing at work!

Yes, thank you motherfucker. Please change the fucking specification again one fucking day before the deadline.

These project managers and clients are like little children who can't decide whether they want a lego set or a video game for christmas except little children don't blame santa for their own stupidity.

Guess what? I'm not santa fucking claus and can't do miracles in one day. It's on you little project manager children if we miss this deadline.

I was 6 and when I realized that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

Today we all opened santa claus holiday gifts at the job. we were told to buy each other small gifts based on questionnaire that we filled. Some girl bought me and i bought her

I have never seen someone put in so much effort to buy so many, such detailed gifts for a person they have not even met, personalized to my questionnaire that i filled up...

She bought me a book. Candies. Letters. Socks. Drinks. Spongebob chocolate eggs. About 15 different (but not unique) items in total. She even wrote in the first page of the book how carefully she took the time to find a fun book to read and not choose a random book just to buy a book

And i bought her a figure of santa claus with cupcakes, as in santa claus brought her cupcakes (2 items total)

I feel so bad. I hate it so much when someone else puts in more effort for me than i give in return. I feel ashamed. I didnt take this seriously at all. I cant stop thinking about this. Its making me feel so bad. Im feeling beyond terrible. She said she was happy and grateful for what i bought but I know what i bought is nothing compared to what she bought

How do i live with this moving on forward

So this is what I got from Santa Clause... Or actually from my buddy - wanna do some data bases in Delphi?

> checking it once
> checking it twice
> on production it still fails in front of our eyes
> programmers are coming back to the office

So. I maintain few open source vuejs components for my company.

We use a lot of open source so when we can and is not conflicting with the work schedule we open source stuff that we do for ourselves, document them and publish them on npm.

All fine, actually all nice!

To be honest the components are not super used but today I got an issue on one of them: "I want this pleaaase implement"

I want? WTF? Am I nervous or this is not the correct approach? What open source santa Claus? I understand that some people may not take the burden of submitting a pr (after i wrote an entire doc section about how to develop the component more) but starting with: I want??

Not okay. NOT OKAY!

Day 2 of my new job done. Still going over courses and doing jack shit. Today the hiring manager told me to play a game. I have to buy gifts to the girl thats in my office (lol what) and she also has to buy gifts to me in return (wtf and im still getting paid to do nothing), the company will pay for these gifts with a limited budget

Both of us had to fill out a form such as hobbies movies food drinks and if we believe in santa claus

Told this to my hot blonde gf that i have to buy gifts for another girl and she got so jealous. She literally asked me "but what do u need her for" lmao

As she should. Love seeing her jealous and mad -- but only because she disrespected me several times in the year 2023. several times caught her lying to me. Rude behavior from time to time. Always bitching and complaining with the most idiotic phrases and I'll quote "i hate how some kids younger than me are just born in a wealthy multi millionaire billionaire family and they're automatically rich and successful and dont have to do anything in life anymore while i have to struggle and work and never be successful like they are. Im so jealous of them" she keeps complaining about this majority of the time. I got really fucking annoyed. Shes stupid as fuck

And then compared to listening to that dumb shit, i met this girl, who works in the backend part, smart, beautiful, doesnt fucking bitch and complain about such obnoxious bullshit we cant control, works a 9-5 and gets her shit together. She even told me today "u dont have to buy me any of those gifts I'd be really grateful if you can just buy me some tissues for my nose cause i got a small flu haha" she even got the jokes! that was such a humble request.

Now compare that to the behavior of my spoiled blonde gf. Tf?

Im not even complaining by working a 9-5. Im actually very surprised. Everyone in the company is very nice to me and polite. Everyone is very friendly. Im getting paid even by not working shit, just sitting and watching courses to pass a devops cloud certification that the company will also pay for me

Whats going on

Good Santa Claus

If Santa Claus is just one-way, and can only “give” you a present... what is the one thing that you really really wouldn’t want to be given?