GF: Promise that you won't leave me.

JS dev: ...and then()?

So Microsoft is buying GitHub for $7.5 billion.

I use it every day for free.

You know you are in shithole country when people need to press three keys at the same time to type a brace.

There's plenty // some comment

I get sick when I have to "explain the code" to my retarded colleagues.

Not to mention when I have to change it with something completely equivalent to make it match their expectations.

Fuck you Elon Musk, can't wait for AI to replace these shitty human brains.

Wife discovered MS Paint on her laptop.

She asked me how long the ink would last and how to recharge it when it's finished.

I love her anyway.

Found this gem in a popular online tutorial.

Saddened that most of my real life friends fail the Turing test.

I can relate.

Too bad there was no Youporn in my teenage years.

GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.

From a sad true story.

If you have good eyes, list C# in your skills section.

Did it!!! I summoned the monkeys. 🐒🐒🐒

Senior: Why did you refactor those ten files?

Junior: There was a method copy-pasted in every one of them, so I moved it to a utils class.

Senior: Don't you know we will have to test all of those changed classes again? Please, rollback!

Junior: ok.

... two days later ...

Senior: Why did you just copy-paste that method? Don't you know it's bad practice?

Corporate Culture™: when those seniors who spend half of their time gossiping with each other pretend to be too busy to answer a junior's question.

Pro tip to scrum masters: bringing a scrum suitcase to your sprint meetings is more useful than bringing scrumbags.

And then that annoying popup says again "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

Relax dude. It never did.

If wish he had lived long enough to buy an LCD.

R.I.P.

I wish one day I had the skills to create an app like that, too 🍺😂

I hope that was a typo.

Thanks, #{USER_FIRSTNAME}!

At least it's easy to debug.

- History teacher: The Spanish-Moro conflict lasted 400 years.
- Student: Why didn't they try a different merge tool?

Hi bro

Anti-virus cable to reduce virus noises

That moment when you're sitting in the train with your laptop and just want to code, but there's your colleage sitting in front of you.

So I picked up my nephew from his kindergarten and he told me that forks have round holes.
I laughed and said that forks don't have holes, otherwise the food would fall down through them.

It turs out that he was right and I was wrong.

/he/ meets "she" in a dating app.

It's a match!

Girl you're so hot... I want to take you ~

1) Open IE or Edge
2) Search "download chrome"
3) Click on top hit
4) Download and run installer
5) Enjoy adware