Thanks Google, you assist me well

Most awkward work event story?

I haven't had many of those tbh. because I've been WFH last 3 years.

One that I remember was my birthday celebration at a company I worked at in 2019. The boss was hostile towards everybody and paid dog shit salaries. So the work environment wasn't the most uplifting and positive.

So anyway, The boss got a cake and rounded everybody up around me chanting Happy Birthday song to me.

Already awkward, but what made it more awkward was the fact that nobody else was clapping/singing other than the boss.

I looked at everybody and saw the depressed smiles on their faces. I'm glad it only lasted 5 mins.

!story

As is the case with many of you, I am also the de facto technology fixer for my family, and usually the first one they call when something goes wrong.

Usually it's a 'something wants to update, should I do it?' simple issue. Other times I have to remote connect to see why Word isn't uploading templates correctly or whatever.

Yesterday was different though.

Me: So whatcha need?
Mom: Well, my office has recently wanted me to be remote-capable in case they need me for something and they don't have the right people to fix it (she's been working at the same office for 20+ years and knows basically everything)
Me: Okay. So I guess they're setting up a VPN for this?
Mom: Yes. And I was calling because they might try and install it on my personal laptop and I wanted to know whether or not I should be concerned about our IT guys being able to look at or steal all my personal data.

I then proceeded to explain how a VPN works and that convincing her company to provide her with a separate computer would be the safest option and whatnot. But I was honestly really surprised that she was concerned to begin with.

For a while now, it seems there's been one story after another of companies being irresponsible with their customer's data, with little to no reprocussion or action that could really make a difference.

But as a direct result, we're now getting to the point where even the tech illiterate are becoming more aware of how this is effecting them.

It gave me hope for the future in an industry where many times there is very little. And I hope it does for you as well.

Thanks, mom. I'm proud of you.

I don't know whether it's the cabin fever due to been locked indoors or just a really shitty phase.

But lately I am having dooms day feeling and it's just growing stronger.

I feel I am losing everything. Like everything has changed or is changing and life will never be the same good old happy one.

It'll just get darker, is a feeling that haunts me. Maybe I need to get outdoors in the sun.

I am no longer able to enjoy things as much as I did in the past. I lack some passion (maybe I am just surrounded my super negative people irl).

I need more sun. I need an uplifting vibe. I need hope.

If you ever feel unwanted, just know that someone, somewhere, has wanked about you at some point

They're masochists ofc, but it still counts

Damn, I really love programming. ❤️
It's way more uplifting and satisfactory than having a significant other.
Even my botched WP installs are more stable than most pseudo-longterm relationships nowadays.

Oh yeah and another thing:
How is it so extremely hard or even impossible for a lot of women to admit their own fucking wrongdoings to a close person?
Mind boggling.

I like how most insecurities so far had an uplifting answer.

I wanted her to be the one. But trying it again for another year I was not excited to put a ring on her finger. I wanted the idea of us to work but it never materialized or clicked in reality. I admired her more than anyone. Connected to her more than those before. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of no, not here. I even lost myself for a bit in denial. But even if I doubted my doubts, and devolved / gave away my agency / belief in my wholeness so she could confirm / deny my reality I couldn’t move forward with peaceful joyful resolve. And so I will continue to rant now as a single developer. She will write her c++ and Java elsewhere. And I will grow and build from a more solid natural spot myself. No need to sacrifice gut feelings to make an almost right relationship work at the expense of internal peace. Living perpetually in an ambiguous relationship is its own kind of hell. And worse than being alone. But I don’t regret trying. And she deserves all the happiness and healing in the world. Yes she had a dark side. Yes we may not have aligned in core body level uplifting energies. But I never doubted her heart and true self for a moment. And I thank her for all she has taught me. In pain of the bad times and in the good of the positive memories and moments.