More You know

User: There’s a bug in the app

Dev: How do I reproduce it?

User: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!

Dev: …

So this is how YouTube handles overflow/trims text 🤭

Anytime you feel down, just remember this.....

Just got this little stinker added to my board this morning….

Ticket Title: Weird shit going on in app

Ticket Description: (blank)

Attachment: <Screenshot of app logo>

Manager: Well what do you think is causing it?

Dev: Causing what?? This ticket doesn’t describe anything at all

Manager: Well it’s a bunch of different things! The ticket is just a high level summary. Now how long do you think it’ll take to fix?

Dev: …

!rant
Stack Overflow Offline

wE oNlY uSe 10% oF bRaIn pOwEr
yeah, no shit, now go to your computer and launch 400 chrome tabs. Congrats, now you're using 100% of your computer performance. Does it work well now? Quick and snappy innit?

fucking muppets.

Testing

And when I have improved Testing, the next one will be…

Testing

Asus announced their AM5 board X670E Extreme. The E already stands for Extreme, which makes it an Extreme Extreme.

My feeling is that AM5 will be extremely - expensive!

That's because the AM5 LGA socket moves cost from the CPU (formerly PGA) to the mobo, but AMD certainly won't drop CPU prices, rather the opposite, and then there's also DDR5 as cost driver, not to mention tons of PCIe 5.0 where we don't even have AIBs.

On the upside, that would finally end the days of GPUs causing a disproportionately large share of the system cost - if only because the rest gets more expensive.

Lol!! What was it... 🤔🧐

Love you too Lua

Stop using anal as a variable or function name wherever I look I see anal_this and anal_that please stop. Use analyze, analyzer or whatever and not anal_insert ( ) or anal_check ()

Linux is an amazing, stable operating system.

Until you decide to upgrade it, then you realise the update failed, your DE is broken and after using Timeshift to restore the system, your GRUB decided to commit seppuku.

Network things

The Developer ❤️

I need to stop sacrificing readability for smaller amounts of code. What looks good to me isn’t always best for everyone and that’s a fucking tough pill to swallow.

Habits to curtail

it is really frustrating not to be able to actually maintain and improve the code you're working with. i'd be happy to completely dig in and live in the code and get it all - not so much fucked up - , or, totally spitballing here, do some research on how we could improve the functionality and performance in general (which is not "nice to have", but rather ongoing customer pain points), but I'm not allowed to, because management hates having maintainable code or even an adequate number of devs. it rather has me doing hippity hoppity between different projects to make sure nothing gets my full attention. -.-

the only thing i can do is to clean it up a bit during bug fixes, but even heavy polishing won't fix this giant pile of garbage that is called our code base.

The time when work got you burnt out / exhausted?
Yes.

AFTER 8 WEEKS OF HELL IN THIS CURRENT USELESS TEAM FULL OF EGOS AND SHITTY SCOPE I AM FINALLY TRANSFERING TO ANOTHER TEAM WITH NICE SCOPE AND A DECENT TEAM FUCK YEAAAAAHHHHH DURJDKLWHTB4KDLDJRJELSEKELELENEBEBSNEKMWM

Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.

"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"

Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.

"Why did you bring Wagyu beef to the meeting?"

"Because the calendar description said: Engineers should proactively add value for our steak holders"

(True story -- They told me to do what management instructs, without correcting anyone and without asking questions. And I love playing that game!)

Yes, I’m a CTO:
C — C is
T — totally
O — Overrated

DevRant is awesome, unless you use IOS … but no, it’s awesome anyway

I have a joke about Stack Overflow, but you would say it's a duplicate.

Your mama's so FAT she can't save files bigger than 4GB.

Java is like Alzheimer's, it starts off slow, but eventually, your memory is gone.

My son has started learning javascript at school, but he is complaining that all the $ signs are ugly! Yep, they're teaching the kids with jquery.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😱😱😱

Ah yes. Fuck you