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Friend: so what is this app I always see you using on your phone?
Me: devRant, it's for developers! it gives us the chance to share rants!
Friend: Wow awesome!!! so what do you guys discuss, interesting stuff huh?
Me: Spaces.... spaces vs tabs.25 -
*I was recruiting programmer's for a Unity game and this guy came along*
Me: So what can you program in?
Pearson: HTML and a bit of CSS.
Me: *oh dear* any else?
Person: I learnt Python recently. I know how to make variables!20 -
- Go to www.fakeWindowsUpdate.com
- Click on one of the fake "installing updates" screen
- Make browser full screen
- Enjoy the prank!
I made my coworker wait for 90 minutes...lmao5 -
The first time I tried to use an image as a background, this happened and it freaked me out lmao. Then I realized my mistake
7 -
Trying to explain to a coworker that the AJAX call he would like to do will not work due to same-origin policy restriction.
Coworker: «But for me it is working.»
Me: «What browser are you using?»
Coworker: «Internet Explorer»
LMAO2 -
When you're making a GitHub students account:
"We'll email you in a few weeks"
5 seconds later, you'll recieve an email:
"Hey <username>, we have some awesome news
We've upgraded you to a plan with unlimited free private repositories, which will be free for the next two years."
GitHub, I don't think you know what weeks are, lmao13 -
Trying to convince my coworker to have a git repo instead of resending chunks of code in Slack... lmao12
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Our working hours are from 9 to 6 which is the standard in Malaysia (I'm not malaysian )
Yesterday I came in around 10AM and my boss took me to his room as soon as I arrived.
Boss: If you were in school and you come late what do you expect to happen ?
Me: get punished, I'll compensate by working an extra hour today.
Boss: well our clients aren't available at your extra hour and I'm struggelling with a big client you're supposed to ship the rest of his site and golive today and he's freaking out
Me: yh well his site is done it just needs final QA before going live.
Boss: oh its done already?, cool cool. Anyway you shouldn't be late you're not Malaysian and being late doesn't run in your genes like them.
*ops manager (Malaysian) walks in*
*boss confused*
*ops manager looks him in the eye*
*boss looks at the ground*
* me giggling while walking to my desk*2 -
Just when I thought I'd seen the craziest job ad...
Title: Sr. Lead Data Scientist / Python Developer
Required education: bachelor's in CompSci, Math, etc. PhD preferred (lol)
Required experience: 10+ years in Python development
Other requirements: must be under 25 years of age to qualify for funding from EcoCanada (lmao!!!! y'all trippin)
Who is writing these job ads? I swear they get more insane every day.13 -
Just had chat with Microsoft support to solve a issue. I accepted remote session request. She did something and couldn't find proper a solution to my problem. Finally, she told a temporary solution and quit the chat.
When I was about to give feedback that she wasn't helpful, SHE CLOSED FEEDBACK WINDOW and then ended remote session. Lmao5 -
This happens everyday
> Picks phone up to test changes to mobile app
> oh look I got a notification
> Scroll, Scroll, like, like, lol, lmao, that's gross, lol, haha
> 5 minutes goes by
> Puts phone down
> Goes back to computer
> What the fuck am I forgetting....2 -
Encountered this is my computer science lab.
One of the most useless keys. Majority doesn't know what it does. And now there's two of it xD
7 -
Some freshman at my school used inspect element to change some HTML and he thinks he's a hacker now. Lmao8
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The only good thing about these emails is knowing just who I should unsubscribe from. I had a wave of unsubscribing months ago, but there's some stragglers I forgot about. One day my email box will.be pure again lmao
2 -
I was in class and this one guy was having difficulty with Word's auto correct. The teacher goes over to help him and this is what I overhear.
"Damn artificial intelligence... We need to make sure that we're always the ones on top and that we never give them to much control!"
*teacher then proceeds to discuss the dangers of AI with the entire class*
The funniest part is, this was in my Japanese class 😂4 -
"Dont jump. The bug has been fixed!"
(Plot twist: I'm actually that guy who's gonna jump) lmao
Whats yours?
52 -
So... I was using my laptop one day and randomly my mouse started spazzing out, I thought maybe it's broken or something so I paused the video I was watching and waited for a couple of seconds, soon after I played the video, my mouse started moving around again, closing windows and opening up different things. I got so scared I shut my laptop down before it could open anything else.
A few minutes later I turn it back on and everything looks fine, I thought whatever that was all about is probably gone, had to double check my security settings etc. and let it be for now.
A few days later I found out that it was actually my dad, in the next room trying to hook up his Bluetooth mouse to his iMac which for some reason got connected to my laptop instead. He was moving it around trying to see whether or not it's working, thus the spazzing out of it on my screen...lmao boy I felt so relieved after that 😂
~not really a hack however it gave me a good laugh2 -
This dude that i been helping on his project for free wants me to travel to his city(which is in a different country) to discuss the project and what's missing lmao hahahahahahahahahahahahaha yeah right.
Wondering how he managed to text with his head so far up his ass.
Fucking idiot.
Suuuure thing buddy, guess i will be paying for all my expenses as well using the money you have not given me? Fuck you think this is? If i agreed to help out it was to help one of your developers who so happen to be my boy and even he knows u is full of shit
Think this is my first rodeo? Bitch asked me to send him the project and i fucking denied it and he didn't like it. Said the code is his lmfao not ze fuck is not. No contract? Bitch your ass can come on over to Texas and demand it. Damn sure your dumbass is going to dislike demanding shit looking down the barrel of a .45
Fucking idiot2 -
A few months ago, me and my friend (web developer, just switched from Windows to Linux) got bored so we started to write "games" for each other (coin flip, rock paper scissors etc.). After a while, he wrote all casino games and wanted me to try and play it on his laptop. So I did, and it was quite entertaining , until I ran his script "roulette.sh". Needless to say, he learned his lesson about copy-pasting code from the internet.4
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Discussion between a new hire (NH) and a designer (D) in our project :
D : "I need the final designs"
NH : "You haven't given me any content"
D : "I'm sending you a layout with dummy text"
*2 days later*
NH : "WHATS LOREM IPSUM?!"2 -
Been tinkering with circuits all afternoon, and then i made the mistake of eating some pastry right off of my table. Pretty sure i ingested like half a roll of solder lmao.8
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A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes."1 -
grandmother: "Sorry to bother you I am trying to send mail through the computer. Where do I buy the stamps? Thank you for showing me how this works.
😂😂😂😂2 -
"Rant/Story"
Dayum.
Prestory and afterstory:
Today I have slept for around <2 hours and had to drive to my college.
The real shit happens right now.
Story:
During these almost 2 hours, I have dreamed about going back in time, but being limited on the same day's hours.
In other words... It was e.g. 16 o'clock and the time travelled back into the past. Like into a "0830 ish" morning. The day would then come to an end and start with the next day. For example from Monday to Tuesday.
I was able to look into the future whenever I wanted to.
Even though I was driving my car in the first gear, it would drive into the reverse direction.
Time suddently switches direction and everything is going as it should be. Greeting people in the streets as I would do normally.
And all of the sudden time decides to switch its direction again and I have to do things in reverse.
At some point I found something like a hidden room which had a door. I opened it and went into the "room" (it was a special place. It had no walls at all). It had a door at the other side of the room. I went through it and saw another one in the last room. It felt like, if I decide to go through that door, I would instantly die. I therefore moved all the doors back into the dream world.
Such a confusion gave me a fucking headache lol.
After waking up from such a fucking complicated dream, time irl felt fucking weird lmao.
My alarm began to do its job. It tried to wake me up at 6:30 am, at 6:45 am and at 6:50 am.
But all the time along it felt like it began to wake me up at 6:50 am down to 6:30 am.6 -
Whenever we need something at the office, like someone to change a lightbulb or fix the printer or whatever.....
The techs literally come running lmao
These b the perks of the manager being absolutely gorgeous lmao. It really does help and I have never seen such effective motivational variable7 -
my boss sent us an email saying that we have to send him a summary of our work everyday and how much time we invested on the job because sometimes we work at home and he won't know if we really worked.
--------today-------
me: *sleeps for 4 hrs*
me: *configures apache in amazon linux real quick*
me: i worked for 4 hours blah blah and i fixed the apache configurations blah and i coded in js and php for the datatables thing blah blah *sends email*
boss: nice work! have a great weekend.
now thats how you do it when u procrastinate a lot!9 -
Legit got excited because today...on friday...one of our servers went down.
Why excited?
Tell me, do you know how fun it is to call your admin if he was "able to get it up" just for him to reply that he is having some "performance issues"?
Lmao it's fucking hilarious.
On another nothe, plz halp6 -
LMAO. Had a tough day and finally heading home with most likely the last bus for today.
But his comment made my day. 😆
// I genuinely found it so funny hence shared in joke 😬
4 -
sends me a "screencap.avi" on slack. I download and open it, and it's a video of an IE bug where the width of the scroll bar itself takes up just enough that the content gets enough height to trigger a scroll bar to appear, so the whole page keeps twitching because the scroll bar keeps appearing and disappearing every second. LMAO FML FUCK IE7
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Do you have a "I don't write bugs" colleague? Put your language equivalent of this around their code and wait.
try:
# their code
except Exception:
print('lmao')4 -
I'm out of high school now but one of my 'fondest' memories of being known as the computer geek was that people would always ask me how they could use the inspect element tool to change their grade permanently. I never had the patience to explain lmao4
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I fucking hate eclipse, dude. I just started learning java EE and shit, and right now I'm learning all the stuff about JSP and Servlets, and when I create a new JSP/HTML file this bitch just gets crashed if I click something before it completes generating the file. Now, I know that it's not a big deal and shit, but I experience extreme butthurt when stuff like this bs happens. Normally I wouldn't whine about this, but I just discovered this website so I decided to write it down n whatnot lmao.9
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Lmao I have a class that the professor described as "50 to 60% linux"
Is this karma for liking windows?16 -
How cool is that?
I met an old American couple (in their 70s), a half Korean and half Japanese guy in his 20s, some Chinese girls in their 20s just in the hotel I have checked in yesterday.
It is interesting how a city that is at the center of Turkey is so full with people from other countries.
Tbh I can swear that here are more Chinese people than Turks lmao
On a side note: The old American couple is just a room away from me.
The walls are so thin that I have heard how the American man kind of "screamed" to push his shit into the toilet lol5 -
Testing had some issues with system integration. I asked them what their setup was.
Answer: "Almost similar to the real hardware."
LMAO!2 -
So I work in a web development company in my town and have been doing a while or heap of parallax sites for our clients. Now obviously when we do the designs we get them in and get them to play around with the site before we go ahead and push their new site out and make it live right.
Wellll who would of thought that a simple parallax site would be so hard to use for the general user??? Recently we have been getting the occasional call where the client is getting complaints about the site only being a big ole image or just one block of text. After investigating why their site was broken or why the users weren't able to see the whole site I came across no problems at all.
Today I got a call from the client who instructed me that after explaining to one of his own clients that he had to scroll down the page that everything was just fine!
I mean, what? How do you miss the big ole scroll bar on ya screen or even think to even attempt to scroll? Some people aye lmao2 -
Once mentored a high school student for a science fair relating to robotics. It was definetely interesting having to relearn many things so I could teach them well but it was definetely worthwhile! I couldn't be prouder of the work my student (mentee, pupil, ??? Idk how else to say it lmao) achieved. He won several awards for the project, even some scholarships!!1
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Let’s play a game of find the introvert....... (me) lmao merry Christmas to all me devs in the cold this Christmas ☺️
3 -
Product Owner: Hey, can you guys own this incredibly fragile legacy app built with Grails, Angular and Mongo?
Me: No
PO: Go on. You can rebuild it!
Me: Sigh.. ok
- 6 months later -
Me: When can we rebuild this bloody app??
PO: lol sry no budget lmao! -
I had a random thought yesterday.
I was thinking about a computer virus that's been influenced by AI (machine learning).
If we would train a model specifically for such a purpose, how massive would its impact be on the Internet and how effectively could it change the world's direction (not the physical rotation lmao)?2 -
I have so much motivation at the wrong times lmao. Although I'm gonna start programming more than I already do so wish me luck6
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Alright so y'all have probably heard of the problems that the pixel 2xl is having. ITS JUST A SMALL NON PERMENANT SCREEN ISSUE THIS IS NO REASON TO HATE GOOGLE AND USE A DAMN IPHONE!4
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******TRIGGER WARNING******
So my friens doesn't belive that spotify has a better sound than YouTube...LMAO8 -
So they took my personal meeting just because there was delay in delivery due to other dev as he was working on shitloads of things and didn't get time to work on API and didn't gave me in time.
And they specifically called it "Doubt meeting" LMAO. -
Friend: Hey I am rebasing my commits and got stuck into a weird window and i was not able to come out of it?
Me: It is vi LMAO. Just press `:wq`
Friend: Wait I'm pressing the same but still nothing happened, it is displaying on my screen?
... After 200 messages...
Me: Just close the computer and I am going to Himalayas. Peace7 -
Was discussing phones with a friend.
After a while, I said I use a Nexus 5X as my main driver with a Nokia 3310 (which I have for like 10 years already, they are that Finlay proof lmao) as an emergency backup.
So he said: "best backup ever, and if you have robbers, you throw it. Don't bring a gun to a Nokia 3310 fight" -
Started new internship last week, hired as dev but working qa till their next release goes up. See last 3 posts for some horror lmao. They... don't know how to use git but insist they do. 275MB single repo for entire angular frontend (no dependencies are pushed, few images) and "angular backend" (according to PM). Commits to master, bad commit messages, no testing except me on qa..... death1
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Lol. Had an exam in college a few weeks ago which involved designing a website on expression web. The Dr responsible for the subject dropped my file and gave me a 0 as a grade and said : "well it's not my fault I lost your file." I laughed so hard XD. Still has a 0 though Lmao.
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I feel like a good rule of thumb of how good a developer is (or how senior are they) is whether they know when a question should go in stackover and when it should go in softwareengineerin.stackexchange.
Do anybody agree?1 -
Watched Tom Scott's video on FizzBuzz today. Quite interesting. Did some further reading and apparently some people either fail completely or it takes them forever to get to a solution.
And this is Computer science graduates we're talking about. Like wtf?
For those of you who doesn't know what FizzBuzz is, just Google it.3 -
Actually I have two stories
The first one, that one project I talked about with a big company when I was at school. It wasn't that much coding since it was mostly researching, but it was a big project that seems really interesting, with Image Analysis and Machine Learning.
The projects at school this year got drawn randomly for each group, so when I've been announced that I've been chosen for the biggest project, thinking about every side of the project, I was hyped. And even a year after we finished it, I'm still happy and excited about it.
The second is something a little more funny :
So we got some projects to do during December for school including cryptography. Again, those were randomly drawn (but some can really fuck you up) and I got to do a Password Manager, like KeyPass. We were 4, and we thought we had the time to do it.
But we misread the date. At the end of Christmas break, I got a call of a friend saying that the project is due in two days.
Thing is, one of my three co-workers weren't contactable. And we got nothing.
So I kinda took the lead : I said to one to do the UI, another to do the cryptograph helper, and I'll do the linking and all the behaviour of it.
In two days, I literally spent all the time available on it.
Then first meeting with the teacher for saying what is wrong, where bugs are if they exist, ect. so we can fix the issues and deliver a clean code. They were like only 4 big problems. More is, I fixed them all in like two hours while thinking fixing only one. And we got something like the 2nd or the 3rd best mark of the prom. And everyone congratulated me for that. I got so excited I was able to do that in few time.
But never that again lmao -
Getting the word out about your new shiny app:
Posting in relevant communities > Throwing money at Google Ads
Google Ads isn't even using up half of my daily budget lmao2 -
I have a handy RSS Feed Reader extension in Google Chrome that allows me to add RSS feeds and check them in a popup in my browser and get notified when something new comes up. I've added RSS feeds for my email, GitHub, and a whole lot of other things. It'd be really awesome if devRant added an RSS feed too, so users can implement devRant in their RSS feed readers too (if anyone still uses them in the 21st century lmao). What does everyone think?
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Made a new friend with my lame social skills lmao. So I was walking around in Uni Library, looking for prescribed books for my courses, ran into some senior looking for some Penetration testing guide, since there weren't any so I just passed him some of the stuff I always carry with me, DRM-free content and all lmao.1
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We should start giving devRant profile link in Resume/CV lmao.
Hope that will be a new trend haha.6 -
!rant
Do you guys live a healthy life? Or are some of us here like the stereotypical dev who sits behind a desk eating bad gaining the pounds while stressing the fuck over code lmao
Personally I use to be quite active but now I'm getting back into bad habits and have started to notice that I'm stress eating <.< and choosing dev work over exercise...7 -
Applied for a front end job (React) a while ago. Got answer today from the recruiter that they went with a more senior JAVA developer this time.
Wait...what did I just read.. 😐 -
My SO house installed broadband yesterday. She just told me that her parents turn off the router since the light was on. 😂😂I'm LMAO here.1
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think all of this impulsive OS booting is burning out my old laptop,
RemixOS - partially boots then gets stuck on a black screen
Android-x86 - won't boot past a black screen either
Windows 7 - i infected that shit so quickly lmao
Windows 10 - i'm not disgracing my old laptop with that
Xubuntu - boots, but my tablet configurator dosen't start properly wrapped in wine (Shenzen HUION only has Win and Mac drivers), and i am an artist
Gamedrift - haven't tried
ReactOS - Last time i checked, it won't boot but i should try again
any other suggestions?
super low specs on that old laptop7 -
Okay so I'm back at ranting now cause I got a reason in my useless life to rant lmao. I started college recently, I'm majoring in Computer Science so the thing is that, my University provides specialization in cybersecurity and stuff to third year students and our Mr. HOD of applied sciences, who is basically an ass, in charge of conveying all the details to students, puts a complete mailing list of freshmen in the 'To' box rather than using BCC... smh. *Evil laughter*1
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The more years go by, the more people get sensitive and butthutt by everything around them. Can't swear in public nowadays because someone will get offended lmao.1
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I am real tired of learning new stuff every day to keep up with technology I just wish someone invent some sort of pill, so when angular js, 3.0 released or vuejs or python or ruby or any new discovery , we just go buy a pill drink it and get smart, sorry if I offended you that how dum i am and that's how I feel lmao3
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Please, before exporting anything in whatever editor you use, check if it is in UTF-8. Today I didn't knew why my new font wasn't working in certain places and I later discovered that more than 9000 characters were replaced by the replacement character...
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Agh just started programming and having a tough time right now and have a final tomorrow =( anyone want to help me with some java problems =)? It would greatly be appreciated <3 They are pretty basic but I'm a rookie2
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So I'm getting a new job in a legal software company and I wanted to ask your opinion on computers. I know many are very biased towards OSX and windows and prefer linux but I'm trying my luck lmao.
I'm currently on a late 2012 macbook pro and its starting to fizzle out on me.
Not a bit fan of the new macbooks because of dongles and no direct HDMI. I was wondering if the surface laptop 2 was any good compared? All the reviews online are basically paid to praise it and the reviews on reddit are polarized. I prefer laptops that are thin and in aluminum.15 -
Holy fucking shit bois. This is gonna be a long one.
So, its my last studying year for me. I found a nice apprenticeship in a dev company for which i'll have to make apps and stuff, so, I'll work at the company and at school.
Now it's good innit? Well here's the catch. I have to sign a contract for this. And the CUNT who is filling this shit is retarded enough to fuck up.
This bitch, a 40 yo accountant, surely filled many goddamn contracts before mine, but nooo, this wanker fucked this, the contract was missing important infos and some of them were incorrect, in short, it's not valid, 0/10, will never sign this.
Now here's the fun part, this cunt asked me for my infos, i gave them to him so that he could fill the document : he misinterpreted them, filling the paper with junk.
Today, I heard that he is unhappy of my behaviour towards him, and that I shouldn't insult his work with these accusations, saying that if I gave them more info (for which they didn't ask), there would be no problems.
He then called me, while I was in class, he acted smugly, said I was unclear and that I should gather more info for them, in other terms, "lmao do this yourself cunt"
"Fuck you, you cumstain, if you would've asked me, I would've been able to give you these infos right away, but you didn't, it's your fault for this, you're breaking mah balls yadda yadda"
(Roughly what I said, especially the insults)
I'm now forced to fill the contract myself because this bitch isn't able to google shit for 5 minutes to find everything he needed.
I have had so many problems with people of his kind, that I can't stand them now. Are they like animals? Do they feel my hate for them?
Sorry for dat long post, but fuck this, if the contract isn't filled, signed, and validated before the end of the month, I'm fucked, since i won't be able to sign up for the school.
Does anyone have had any problems like this? Like, a very egocentric cunt that isn't able to do something good because he is too proud to ask, so he prefers doing things his own way?1 -
What about Manjaro Linux? How many of you guys actually used this distribution? I did installed this distro on my pc. Everything's neat. Battery consumption is lower than other distro I've used before. However I'm facing an unusual behavior though. My laptops fan is making more noise than ever before. No heavy applications running. As soon as I hit the power button it seems like a fucking airplane is starting. Lmao. Is it related to os or something else?7
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Who said MS Edge was dead? Microsoft just announced that they plan to heavily support the Chromium project and "move to a Chromium-compatible web platform for Microsoft Edge on the desktop".
Source: https://blogs.windows.com/windowsex...5 -
For some reason, out of no where, I made this word up. It's called Moop, and it's definition is paradoxical. It means "everything and nothing, anywhere and nowhere, etc". So one day at work one of my coworkers pushed his untested commit to the master branch of our 25k project. To make matters worse, he deleted all other branches and previous versions of the project. Our project manager heard about it and became so angry that he almost broke our no-curse-word-policy. So he called is all together to get around it so he could properly vent.
Project manager: "Guys I'm extremely angry at James (the one who pushed the untested source code to our commercial project, ruining it)
Me: well, I have a word that we can use
Project manager: what is it?
Me: Moop
You can guess what the next few weeks at work was like. All of my coworkers had to fix the crap James made, including myself. So the conversations went like this: "The mooperfluffer James should have never mooped with us!", "MOOP YOU JAMES, I HOPE YOU HET MOOPED TO HELL YOU MOOPUP!!!!!", "Hey James, guess what! I hope you moop yourself". Our boss became a strong moop user and spray moop all over James workstation. We put moop in his cup, his laptop keyboard, even his thumb drive. We downloaded moop.exe to his PC so we could moop his kernel.
Today James' life is officially mooped.4 -
!rant
*reworks complete solution then publishes it to Azure*
"Okay, now let's debug"
*calls function, no response*
*directly opens function in browser*
Function host is not running.
Fuck.
*opens Insights*
System.BadImageFormatException
(additionally, it states that it couldnt load my main project or one of it's dependencies)
Shit, never even heard of that exception.
DDG: yo you're fucked, here, have 3 proper results
SO: lul thats some known bug Azure Functions havent fixed till now
Github: Yeah got a lot of open issues ok that, they just aint any help lmao
Me, a naive person: "okay lets try randomly changing some dependency versions, might help"
It didn't.
Now my question: how do I escape Dependency Hell?1 -
The day when you forget your iPhone passcode and get locked out and the only way to get it working again is to restore it to factory setting. I’m stupid today lmao🤯🙃🙄😂😂
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So notable international development company who promised changes by 8 days ago but halted dev 2 weeks before delivery and claimed they were shippable but need to meet with us first admits that was a lie without admitting it... Also no longer stressing us for the next payment anymore... Looks like the shit is on the other foot now bruv!
lmao
This means 2 more months of me doing analyst and QA work.... I just want to cooooooooooode. I haven't seen the code for this application and I'll have the joy of integrating all the duct tape into our ecosystem. I can hear them reeling the duct tape off all the way in India at this point.
It's probably gonna be so shit... -
Don't tell your family you're a programmer... they will all ask you to install a program or clean their computer lmao!
http://arngren.net/ comes to mind....
Alright, I've already ranted about this but I feel like that was rather incomplete.. there's some other things... [read more]