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Friend: so what is this app I always see you using on your phone?
Me: devRant, it's for developers! it gives us the chance to share rants!
Friend: Wow awesome!!! so what do you guys discuss, interesting stuff huh?
Me: Spaces.... spaces vs tabs.25 -
*I was recruiting programmer's for a Unity game and this guy came along*
Me: So what can you program in?
Pearson: HTML and a bit of CSS.
Me: *oh dear* any else?
Person: I learnt Python recently. I know how to make variables!19 -
- Go to www.fakeWindowsUpdate.com
- Click on one of the fake "installing updates" screen
- Make browser full screen
- Enjoy the prank!
I made my coworker wait for 90 minutes...lmao5 -
Interviewer: Why do you want to work for Facebook?
Me: I'm keen on protecting people's data and want them to have a good user experience
Interviewer:
Me:
Interviewer:
Me: haha I'm joking I don't give a shit
Interviewer: haha omg I was like whaaatttt lmao
src: https://twitter.com/ArfMeasures/...2 -
The first time I tried to use an image as a background, this happened and it freaked me out lmao. Then I realized my mistake
6 -
> *WordPress website gets down Error 500: Cannot establish Connection with database*
> Marketing loses their shit: "We need the website up and working right now"
> *Me being calm *: "Nope, we cannot it's the service provider error, there's nothing we can do"
> *MK.G*: "Alright then, switch to another ISP ASAP"
> *Me, Internal rage, a volcano erupts *: "Umm..so you want to spend more money on another hosting because this one has an outage of 48 hours?"
>*MK.G *: "Yes, because we cannot run Facebook ads, just because website is down"
>*Internal lmao*: "Alright, but by the time you purchase a new service provider and host, the website will be up and running plus since the database is down we cannot migrate"
>*MK.G*: "I don't care, just make it up and working"
>*Me chilling*: "Alright, give me few hours"
> after a few hours the website is working *me being badass even though I didn't do anything*13 -
Today after 1 year of taking shit I sat down with my manager and completely tore the whole fucking company apart.
I absolutely slammed my colleagues, obliterated my team lead, went on and on about how no one understands the basics and how everything we have is copy paste procedural code and the only way to fix what we have is to delete it. I then insinuated I want to quit because I cba with the struggle anymore.
Result? Fat promotion. Not sure what just happened here lmao.
15 -
Trying to explain to a coworker that the AJAX call he would like to do will not work due to same-origin policy restriction.
Coworker: «But for me it is working.»
Me: «What browser are you using?»
Coworker: «Internet Explorer»
LMAO2 -
When you're making a GitHub students account:
"We'll email you in a few weeks"
5 seconds later, you'll recieve an email:
"Hey <username>, we have some awesome news
We've upgraded you to a plan with unlimited free private repositories, which will be free for the next two years."
GitHub, I don't think you know what weeks are, lmao13 -
Trying to convince my coworker to have a git repo instead of resending chunks of code in Slack... lmao12
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Our working hours are from 9 to 6 which is the standard in Malaysia (I'm not malaysian )
Yesterday I came in around 10AM and my boss took me to his room as soon as I arrived.
Boss: If you were in school and you come late what do you expect to happen ?
Me: get punished, I'll compensate by working an extra hour today.
Boss: well our clients aren't available at your extra hour and I'm struggelling with a big client you're supposed to ship the rest of his site and golive today and he's freaking out
Me: yh well his site is done it just needs final QA before going live.
Boss: oh its done already?, cool cool. Anyway you shouldn't be late you're not Malaysian and being late doesn't run in your genes like them.
*ops manager (Malaysian) walks in*
*boss confused*
*ops manager looks him in the eye*
*boss looks at the ground*
* me giggling while walking to my desk*2 -
Just when I thought I'd seen the craziest job ad...
Title: Sr. Lead Data Scientist / Python Developer
Required education: bachelor's in CompSci, Math, etc. PhD preferred (lol)
Required experience: 10+ years in Python development
Other requirements: must be under 25 years of age to qualify for funding from EcoCanada (lmao!!!! y'all trippin)
Who is writing these job ads? I swear they get more insane every day.13 -
I found one of these in person :D
I had seen them on here before, but now I've seen one myself lmao
10 -
This happens everyday
> Picks phone up to test changes to mobile app
> oh look I got a notification
> Scroll, Scroll, like, like, lol, lmao, that's gross, lol, haha
> 5 minutes goes by
> Puts phone down
> Goes back to computer
> What the fuck am I forgetting....2 -
Just had chat with Microsoft support to solve a issue. I accepted remote session request. She did something and couldn't find proper a solution to my problem. Finally, she told a temporary solution and quit the chat.
When I was about to give feedback that she wasn't helpful, SHE CLOSED FEEDBACK WINDOW and then ended remote session. Lmao4 -
Encountered this is my computer science lab.
One of the most useless keys. Majority doesn't know what it does. And now there's two of it xD
6 -
Some freshman at my school used inspect element to change some HTML and he thinks he's a hacker now. Lmao8
-
Every fucking day in my company, we get an email from the HR titled "Good Morning, have a nice <DAY_OF_WEEK>", and the message contains a low quality shitty picture grabbed from a random Google search containing a equally shitty quote.
Today's quote read "Happy Friday! Friday is a day to finish your goals of the week!"
lmao like am I suppose to wait till Friday to finish my 'goals of the week'?
I'm so sick of these dumb fucks someone send help 🙄9 -
Today I uttered words I thought I'd never say in my life....
"This is why linux is better"
What the hell is going on in 2020 lmao38 -
Some of my coworkers call connecting with SSH "git bashing", because they use git bash for making ssh connections. 😋
They never understand me when I use the term "SSH". 😔4 -
Finally got my Hackintosh working. Took me fuckin 3 days to figure out how to get the sound working lmao
29 -
Are you a complete passive aggressive twat?
Are you 100% completely unable to stand up for yourself outside of the safety that a computer screen provides?
Are you a male and capable of only doing things that would take you in the absolute complete opposite direction of a vagina?
Are you a female and an insufferable twat?
Do you think that people's likes and dislikes are no better than yours?
Is your opinion better than anyone else's?
THEN BEING A DEVELOPER AND BEING IN DEVRANT IS JJJJJJJJUST WHAT YOU NEED!
Here in our community, the more full of shit that you are! the farther you will go up in popularity! Insufferable opinionated and biased assholes that could not throw a punch if their lives depended on it is LITERALLY WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT!!
lmao, I swear man, some of y'all are just too full of shit.27 -
Do you guys ever miss the days of writing shitty programs in notepad.exe? When everything was new and magical? When your income didn't depend on your code?
Yeah me neither lmao.6 -
I was in class and this one guy was having difficulty with Word's auto correct. The teacher goes over to help him and this is what I overhear.
"Damn artificial intelligence... We need to make sure that we're always the ones on top and that we never give them to much control!"
*teacher then proceeds to discuss the dangers of AI with the entire class*
The funniest part is, this was in my Japanese class 😂4 -
The only good thing about these emails is knowing just who I should unsubscribe from. I had a wave of unsubscribing months ago, but there's some stragglers I forgot about. One day my email box will.be pure again lmao
2 -
So... I was using my laptop one day and randomly my mouse started spazzing out, I thought maybe it's broken or something so I paused the video I was watching and waited for a couple of seconds, soon after I played the video, my mouse started moving around again, closing windows and opening up different things. I got so scared I shut my laptop down before it could open anything else.
A few minutes later I turn it back on and everything looks fine, I thought whatever that was all about is probably gone, had to double check my security settings etc. and let it be for now.
A few days later I found out that it was actually my dad, in the next room trying to hook up his Bluetooth mouse to his iMac which for some reason got connected to my laptop instead. He was moving it around trying to see whether or not it's working, thus the spazzing out of it on my screen...lmao boy I felt so relieved after that 😂
~not really a hack however it gave me a good laugh2 -
"Dont jump. The bug has been fixed!"
(Plot twist: I'm actually that guy who's gonna jump) lmao
Whats yours?
52 -
This dude that i been helping on his project for free wants me to travel to his city(which is in a different country) to discuss the project and what's missing lmao hahahahahahahahahahahahaha yeah right.
Wondering how he managed to text with his head so far up his ass.
Fucking idiot.
Suuuure thing buddy, guess i will be paying for all my expenses as well using the money you have not given me? Fuck you think this is? If i agreed to help out it was to help one of your developers who so happen to be my boy and even he knows u is full of shit
Think this is my first rodeo? Bitch asked me to send him the project and i fucking denied it and he didn't like it. Said the code is his lmfao not ze fuck is not. No contract? Bitch your ass can come on over to Texas and demand it. Damn sure your dumbass is going to dislike demanding shit looking down the barrel of a .45
Fucking idiot2 -
grandmother: "Sorry to bother you I am trying to send mail through the computer. Where do I buy the stamps? Thank you for showing me how this works.
😂😂😂😂2 -
A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes."1 -
Discussion between a new hire (NH) and a designer (D) in our project :
D : "I need the final designs"
NH : "You haven't given me any content"
D : "I'm sending you a layout with dummy text"
*2 days later*
NH : "WHATS LOREM IPSUM?!"2 -
Been tinkering with circuits all afternoon, and then i made the mistake of eating some pastry right off of my table. Pretty sure i ingested like half a roll of solder lmao.8
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Legit got excited because today...on friday...one of our servers went down.
Why excited?
Tell me, do you know how fun it is to call your admin if he was "able to get it up" just for him to reply that he is having some "performance issues"?
Lmao it's fucking hilarious.
On another nothe, plz halp6 -
I just saw the most astonishing repo that will be 100% useful for developers who don't get paid by clients
I can't stop lmao
https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid2 -
my boss sent us an email saying that we have to send him a summary of our work everyday and how much time we invested on the job because sometimes we work at home and he won't know if we really worked.
--------today-------
me: *sleeps for 4 hrs*
me: *configures apache in amazon linux real quick*
me: i worked for 4 hours blah blah and i fixed the apache configurations blah and i coded in js and php for the datatables thing blah blah *sends email*
boss: nice work! have a great weekend.
now thats how you do it when u procrastinate a lot!9 -
"Rant/Story"
Dayum.
Prestory and afterstory:
Today I have slept for around <2 hours and had to drive to my college.
The real shit happens right now.
Story:
During these almost 2 hours, I have dreamed about going back in time, but being limited on the same day's hours.
In other words... It was e.g. 16 o'clock and the time travelled back into the past. Like into a "0830 ish" morning. The day would then come to an end and start with the next day. For example from Monday to Tuesday.
I was able to look into the future whenever I wanted to.
Even though I was driving my car in the first gear, it would drive into the reverse direction.
Time suddently switches direction and everything is going as it should be. Greeting people in the streets as I would do normally.
And all of the sudden time decides to switch its direction again and I have to do things in reverse.
At some point I found something like a hidden room which had a door. I opened it and went into the "room" (it was a special place. It had no walls at all). It had a door at the other side of the room. I went through it and saw another one in the last room. It felt like, if I decide to go through that door, I would instantly die. I therefore moved all the doors back into the dream world.
Such a confusion gave me a fucking headache lol.
After waking up from such a fucking complicated dream, time irl felt fucking weird lmao.
My alarm began to do its job. It tried to wake me up at 6:30 am, at 6:45 am and at 6:50 am.
But all the time along it felt like it began to wake me up at 6:50 am down to 6:30 am.6 -
Whenever we need something at the office, like someone to change a lightbulb or fix the printer or whatever.....
The techs literally come running lmao
These b the perks of the manager being absolutely gorgeous lmao. It really does help and I have never seen such effective motivational variable7 -
LMAO. Had a tough day and finally heading home with most likely the last bus for today.
But his comment made my day. 😆
// I genuinely found it so funny hence shared in joke 😬
4 -
sends me a "screencap.avi" on slack. I download and open it, and it's a video of an IE bug where the width of the scroll bar itself takes up just enough that the content gets enough height to trigger a scroll bar to appear, so the whole page keeps twitching because the scroll bar keeps appearing and disappearing every second. LMAO FML FUCK IE7
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I love walking round in a facemask cause people always gimme a "wtf" look like im a criminal and also wordpress is a fucking joke lmao13
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Do you have a "I don't write bugs" colleague? Put your language equivalent of this around their code and wait.
try:
# their code
except Exception:
print('lmao')4 -
Just tried out Minecraft's shader mod SEUS and wondering what the fuck am I doing with my life being a web dev and not working on graphics.
If you have an nvidia gpu, please give it a try.
This is an example with PBR textures, it's mind blowing https://youtu.be/RbM5w9CBDIw
INB4 comment like "peasant web dev wants to do graphics lmao"13 -
Not as much of a rant as a share of my exasperation you might breathe a bit more heavily out your nose at.
My work has dealt out new laptops to devs. Such shiny, very wow. They're also famously easy to use.
.
.
.
My arse.
.
.
.
I got the laptop, transferred the necessary files and settings over, then got to work. Delivered ticket i, delivered ticket j, delivered the tests (tests first *cough*) then delivered Mr Bullet to Mr Foot.
Day 4 of using the temporary passwords support gave me I thought it was time to get with department policy and change my myriad passwords to a single one. Maybe it's not as secure but oh hell, would having a single sign-on have saved me from this.
I went for my new machine's password first because why not? It's the one I'll use the most, and I definitely won't forget it. I didn't. (I didn't.) I plopped in my memorable password, including special characters, caps, and numbers, again (carefully typed) in the second password field, then nearly confirmed. Curiosity, you bastard.
There's a key icon by the password field and I still had milk teeth left to chew any and all new features with.
Naturally I click on it. I'm greeted by a window showing me a password generating tool. So many features, options for choosing length, character types, and tons of others but thinking back on it, I only remember those two. I had a cheeky peek at the different passwords generated by it, including playing with the length slider. My curiosity sated, I closed that window and confirmed that my password was in.
You probably know where this is going. I say probably to give room for those of you like me who certifiably. did. not.
Time to test my new password.
*Smacks the power button to log off*
Time to put it in (ooer)
*Smacks in the password*
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Whoops, typo probably.
Do it again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
No u.
Try again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Try my previous password.
Well, SUCCESS... but actually, no.
Tried the previous previous password.
T O O M A N Y A T T E M P T S
Ahh fuck, I can't believe I've done this, but going to support is for pussies. I'll put this by the rest of the fire, I can work on my old laptop.
Day starts getting late, gotta go swimming soonish. Should probably solve the problem. Cue a whole 40 minutes trying my 15 or so different passwords and their permutations because oh heck I hope it's one of them.
I talk to a colleague because by now the "days since last incident" counter has been reset.
"Hello there Ryan, would you kindly go on a voyage with me that I may retrace my steps and perhaps discover the source of this mystery?"
"A man chooses, a slave obeys. I choose... lmao ye sure m8, but I'm driving"
We went straight for the password generator, then the length slider, because who doesn't love sliding a slidey boi. Soon as we moved it my upside down frown turned back around. Down in the 'new password' and the 'confirm new password' IT WAS FUCKING AUTOCOMPLETING. The slidey boi was changing the number of asterisks in both bars as we moved it. Mystery solved, password generator arrested, shit's still fucked.
Bite the bullet, call support.
"Hi, I need my password resetting. I dun goofed"
*details tech support needs*
*It can be sorted but the tech is ages away*
Gotta be punctual for swimming, got two whole lengths to do and a sauna to sit in.
"I'm off soon, can it happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah no problem someone will be down in the morning."
Next day. Friday. 3 hours later, still no contact. Go to support room myself.
The guy really tries, goes through everything he can, gets informed that he needs a code from Derek. Where's Derek? Ah shet. He's on holiday.
There goes my weekend (looong weekend, bank holiday plus day flexi-time) where I could have shown off to my girlfriend the quality at which this laptop can play all our favourite animé, and probably get remind by her that my personal laptop has an i2350u with integrated graphics.
TODAY. (Part is unrelated, but still, ugh.)
Go to work. Ten minutes away realise I forgot my door pass.
Bollocks.
Go get a temporary pass (of shame).
Go to clock in. My fob was with my REAL pass.
What the wank.
Get to my desk, nobody notices my shame. I'm thirsty. I'll have the bottle from my drawer. But wait, what's this? No key that usually lives with my pass? Can't even unlock it?
No thanks.
Support might be able to cheer me up. Support is now for manly men too.
*Knock knock*
"Me again"
"Yeah give it here, I've got the code"
He fixes it, I reset my pass, sensibly change my other passwords.
Or I would, if the internet would work.
It connects, but no traffic? Ryan from earlier helps, we solve it after a while.
My passwords are now sorted, machine is okay, crisis resolved.
*THE END*
If you skipped the whole thing and were expecting a tl;dr, you just lost the game.
Otherwise, I absolve you of having lost the game.
Exactly at the char limit9 -
So im @ a starbucks, mindin my own fucking business doing work shit when this bitch sit down at my table tryna get my dick like eat shit im working lmao18
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Been so long, sup guys. bringing you good news (at least for me).
just got accepted on my new job. the funny thing is. i legit put "Made 16 bit CPU in Minecraft" on my resume. LMAO6 -
God I fucking hate Javascript.
- unknown operator
- type coercion
- sorting always works alphabetically (lmao)
- literally started as a joke
why can't it be normal and predictable, or at least mildly comfortable to use?26 -
How deep does the rabbit hole go?
Problem: Convert numpy array containing an audio time series to a .wav file and save on disk
Error 1:
Me: pip install "stupid package"
Console: Can't pip, behind a proxy
Me: Finds workaround after several minutes
Error 2:
Conversion works, but audio file on disk doesn't work
Encoding Error only works with array of ints not floats
BUT I NEED IT TO BE FLOATS
Looks for another library
scikits.audiolab <- should work
Me: pip --proxy=myproxy:port install "this shit"
Command Line *spits back huge error*
Googles error <- You need to install this package with a .whl file
Me: Downloads .whl file <- pip install "filename".whl
Command Line: ERROR: scikits.audiolab-0.11.0-cp27-cp27m-win32.whl is not a supported wheel on this platform.
Googles Error <- Need to see supported file formats
Me: python -c "import pip; print(pip.pep425tags.get_supported())"
Console: AttributeError: module 'pip' has no attribute 'pep425tags'
Googles Error <- Use another command for pip v10
Me: python -c "import pip._internal; print(pip._internal.pep425tags.get_supported())"
Console: complies
Me: pip install "filename".whl
Console: complies
Me: *spends 30 minutes to find directory where I should paste .dll file*
Finds Directory (was hidden btw), pastes file
Me: Runs .py file
Console: from version import version as _version ModuleNotFoundError: No module named 'version'
Googles Error <- Fix is: "just comment out the import statement"
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Console: HAHAHAHAHA
Unfortunately this shit still didn't work after two hours of debugging, lmao fuck this7 -
I wished there was a lmao button, because sometimes a post/comment makes you laugh your socks off or is very clever, but a ++ won't just do it.
and you also don't want to reply with a "that's hilarious", because
a) it's non-content thus not something that others than OP would ever want to read
b) on the internet, compliments are usually interpreted as sarcasm
but such thing would also degenerate quickly into a troll tool, eg, a user posting an opinion in a serious manner, and other users spamming that lmao button...
so maybe not exactly a lmao button, but something similar, like medium's clap (although I think 50 claps per user is a bit too much).4 -
Lmao I have a class that the professor described as "50 to 60% linux"
Is this karma for liking windows?16 -
Testing had some issues with system integration. I asked them what their setup was.
Answer: "Almost similar to the real hardware."
LMAO!2 -
I'm out of high school now but one of my 'fondest' memories of being known as the computer geek was that people would always ask me how they could use the inspect element tool to change their grade permanently. I never had the patience to explain lmao4
-
So I work in a web development company in my town and have been doing a while or heap of parallax sites for our clients. Now obviously when we do the designs we get them in and get them to play around with the site before we go ahead and push their new site out and make it live right.
Wellll who would of thought that a simple parallax site would be so hard to use for the general user??? Recently we have been getting the occasional call where the client is getting complaints about the site only being a big ole image or just one block of text. After investigating why their site was broken or why the users weren't able to see the whole site I came across no problems at all.
Today I got a call from the client who instructed me that after explaining to one of his own clients that he had to scroll down the page that everything was just fine!
I mean, what? How do you miss the big ole scroll bar on ya screen or even think to even attempt to scroll? Some people aye lmao2 -
I have so much motivation at the wrong times lmao. Although I'm gonna start programming more than I already do so wish me luck6
-
I had a random thought yesterday.
I was thinking about a computer virus that's been influenced by AI (machine learning).
If we would train a model specifically for such a purpose, how massive would its impact be on the Internet and how effectively could it change the world's direction (not the physical rotation lmao)?2 -
Let’s play a game of find the introvert....... (me) lmao merry Christmas to all me devs in the cold this Christmas ☺️
3 -
Programmer: "Places : instead of ;"
Javascript: "What the fuck did you just fucking post about me, you absolute beginner? I'll have you know I worked for ten of the biggest silicon-valley industry companies, and I've been involved in over two hundred top secret projects including NodeJS. I am trained in refactoring the most fucked up code, and I'm the top C++er in the entire fucking internet-connected universe. You are nothing to me, but just another IP. I will fucking revoke your commits from your gitlab account with absolute dedication using only one Rasperry Pi client. Mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with posting that shit on one of my numerous very personal blogs? Your devices are fucking bricked, kid. My attack software can be anywhere, anytime, and it is tasked to remove your entire git contributions from planet earth. Not only am I extensively trained in remote cross-firewall device-hacking, but I have access to over 100 of the United States CIA and NSA git repositories. If only you could have known what doom-bringing C-one-liner you have raised from my fucking hands, maybe you would have held your fingers. But you could not. You did not. And now you're paying the price, noob. I will hail havoc upon your puny online-presence and you will drown in your own badly designed software. You're fucking offline, kiddo."11 -
Once mentored a high school student for a science fair relating to robotics. It was definetely interesting having to relearn many things so I could teach them well but it was definetely worthwhile! I couldn't be prouder of the work my student (mentee, pupil, ??? Idk how else to say it lmao) achieved. He won several awards for the project, even some scholarships!!1
-
How cool is that?
I met an old American couple (in their 70s), a half Korean and half Japanese guy in his 20s, some Chinese girls in their 20s just in the hotel I have checked in yesterday.
It is interesting how a city that is at the center of Turkey is so full with people from other countries.
Tbh I can swear that here are more Chinese people than Turks lmao
On a side note: The old American couple is just a room away from me.
The walls are so thin that I have heard how the American man kind of "screamed" to push his shit into the toilet lol5 -
i hate windows errors so much
there's no information whatsoever, its just "error code 0x696969 lmao something wrong try again later"
what i hate even more is asking microsoft forums what the error code means and being asked if ive tried turning it off and on again10 -
I've just opened LinkedIn (I don't know why) and I found an hilarious job offered in the home page: they are searching a JUNIOR programmer (for an internship) having experience in RPG IV programming language and OS/400. I never heard of that so I googled it and... LMAO.5
-
Product Owner: Hey, can you guys own this incredibly fragile legacy app built with Grails, Angular and Mongo?
Me: No
PO: Go on. You can rebuild it!
Me: Sigh.. ok
- 6 months later -
Me: When can we rebuild this bloody app??
PO: lol sry no budget lmao! -
Update: for those of you who know cougar woman/ my self proclaimed "work mom" in my previous posts (bitch who keeps stealing my lunch), yesterday she really tipped me over the edge. So I'm fucking hauling ass on my sprint work because I had to take over another team member's tasks (because he "doesn't have time" for it being prod support but all I see him doing is shitposting at his desk) and someone from another team asked the cougar a question about something. she comes up to me all demanding like "HEY you, you got the worksapce open?"
I was like um... no I don't. I'm working on the other application.
and then she's like "Look at my laptop and show him". Okay bitch let me just drop everything I'm doing to help a random person. The fact that she commanded me instead of just asking me pissed me off. Not even a single sign of "please". I'm tired of her truly. She is a snake. Even to her friend on our team. Every time he's out she's like "hey where is _____? huh why isn't he here??? hmmm" in an instigating way to remind everyone that he might've taken off for no reason. When I was too sick to volunteer at an event she organized in the morning on Saturday, she asked me the following Monday, "oh did you drink too much? lmao. a spiteful, grudge holding bitch for sure3 -
Friend: Hey I am rebasing my commits and got stuck into a weird window and i was not able to come out of it?
Me: It is vi LMAO. Just press `:wq`
Friend: Wait I'm pressing the same but still nothing happened, it is displaying on my screen?
... After 200 messages...
Me: Just close the computer and I am going to Himalayas. Peace7 -
******TRIGGER WARNING******
So my friens doesn't belive that spotify has a better sound than YouTube...LMAO8 -
Was discussing phones with a friend.
After a while, I said I use a Nexus 5X as my main driver with a Nokia 3310 (which I have for like 10 years already, they are that Finlay proof lmao) as an emergency backup.
So he said: "best backup ever, and if you have robbers, you throw it. Don't bring a gun to a Nokia 3310 fight" -
Any other language: Hey fuckface, you can't name this variable by a single letter, tf is wrong with you? use some descriptive shit.
Golang: lmao fuck u
I really find it interesting how we use short variable names for items in golang. Kinda makes sense when you think of it. Most of these items come up in short methods for which the mental model lets you know and remember what you are doing, they even make sense when going through the std lib in which that shit is all over the place. YET years of going by other languages has made me squint my eyes a bit in frustration every time I see it.
Say for example that a function is implementing io.Writer. What would you call the method parameter? you could argue that writer would be sensible since it has it in the signature, but what about when the io.Writer in itself is a file or a socket or whatever? writer would be funny or strange? nah fuck it just w, it makes sense, but x wouldn't. I find these points to make sense even if i don't like them.
Would, now, this practice be acceptable in C? you are supposed to write the same modular code with C in which you compose large functionality in separated units of code, yet I am sure this practice of single name variables is something that C engineers dislike greatly.
Are go devs just doing this out of blind love for their preference in languages? and how would this work if mfkers add generics to go(I hope not, Go is simple enough to understand in order to extend functionality through the empty interface, but that is a preference of mine as well)
The more I use Go the more I like it to be honest, I think the code looks ugly syntactically, but that is subjective as all hell and based on my constant preference for a language to look like Ruby, which even though it might not be everyone's cup of tea it remains to my eyes as the most beautiful language in existence, again, an obvious personal preference.19 -
Watched Tom Scott's video on FizzBuzz today. Quite interesting. Did some further reading and apparently some people either fail completely or it takes them forever to get to a solution.
And this is Computer science graduates we're talking about. Like wtf?
For those of you who doesn't know what FizzBuzz is, just Google it.3 -
changed my name!
from awruh to aysentur now... can be spelled out better. I hope so at least, lmao.
my old name was created due to lack of creativity but the need of a username, so I smashed my keyboard... and that was what came up. aysentur has some more thought in it though not something meaningful.
new name old me11 -
Alright so y'all have probably heard of the problems that the pixel 2xl is having. ITS JUST A SMALL NON PERMENANT SCREEN ISSUE THIS IS NO REASON TO HATE GOOGLE AND USE A DAMN IPHONE!4
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So they took my personal meeting just because there was delay in delivery due to other dev as he was working on shitloads of things and didn't get time to work on API and didn't gave me in time.
And they specifically called it "Doubt meeting" LMAO. -
wk195 sounds like people are describing the weirdest places they had sex. Lmao, I'm sure this has gone through somebody's mind at one point.
Let's see, what else to vent about. Ah yes, today I took the public transport because I had to be somewhere in the evening and I wanted to avoid traffic congestion. Guess what? I ended up sandwiched between hordes of people in public transport. I hate that much more than sitting in my car dragging the clutch. At least I was somewhat relaxed and I had my own space (so to speak). Being smooshed between a horde of stressed people? And pushy people trying to ram their way through others "I have to get out, I have to get off here" while the others are clearly heading out too? No, that's not for me.
And I know what's gone through one's mind at one point: "Look at this sad state of the world, look at the highway inefficiently and disrespectfully stuffed, look at these people, most of them wearing sad looks on their faces from the routine of life and their subconscious dissatisfactions. The current system has many shortcomings. In fact, the entire system is wrong."
Well, I'm glad I'm home now. Space, temporal as well as physical and psychological, is indeed a core component of one's space (no pun intended). It's at times like these we need to look at our lives and make the necessary changes to change at least our own lives, there that the system is hard to change.4 -
Lol. Had an exam in college a few weeks ago which involved designing a website on expression web. The Dr responsible for the subject dropped my file and gave me a 0 as a grade and said : "well it's not my fault I lost your file." I laughed so hard XD. Still has a 0 though Lmao.
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Actually I have two stories
The first one, that one project I talked about with a big company when I was at school. It wasn't that much coding since it was mostly researching, but it was a big project that seems really interesting, with Image Analysis and Machine Learning.
The projects at school this year got drawn randomly for each group, so when I've been announced that I've been chosen for the biggest project, thinking about every side of the project, I was hyped. And even a year after we finished it, I'm still happy and excited about it.
The second is something a little more funny :
So we got some projects to do during December for school including cryptography. Again, those were randomly drawn (but some can really fuck you up) and I got to do a Password Manager, like KeyPass. We were 4, and we thought we had the time to do it.
But we misread the date. At the end of Christmas break, I got a call of a friend saying that the project is due in two days.
Thing is, one of my three co-workers weren't contactable. And we got nothing.
So I kinda took the lead : I said to one to do the UI, another to do the cryptograph helper, and I'll do the linking and all the behaviour of it.
In two days, I literally spent all the time available on it.
Then first meeting with the teacher for saying what is wrong, where bugs are if they exist, ect. so we can fix the issues and deliver a clean code. They were like only 4 big problems. More is, I fixed them all in like two hours while thinking fixing only one. And we got something like the 2nd or the 3rd best mark of the prom. And everyone congratulated me for that. I got so excited I was able to do that in few time.
But never that again lmao -
Started new internship last week, hired as dev but working qa till their next release goes up. See last 3 posts for some horror lmao. They... don't know how to use git but insist they do. 275MB single repo for entire angular frontend (no dependencies are pushed, few images) and "angular backend" (according to PM). Commits to master, bad commit messages, no testing except me on qa..... death1
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My SO house installed broadband yesterday. She just told me that her parents turn off the router since the light was on. 😂😂I'm LMAO here.1
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Made a new friend with my lame social skills lmao. So I was walking around in Uni Library, looking for prescribed books for my courses, ran into some senior looking for some Penetration testing guide, since there weren't any so I just passed him some of the stuff I always carry with me, DRM-free content and all lmao.1
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Okay so I'm back at ranting now cause I got a reason in my useless life to rant lmao. I started college recently, I'm majoring in Computer Science so the thing is that, my University provides specialization in cybersecurity and stuff to third year students and our Mr. HOD of applied sciences, who is basically an ass, in charge of conveying all the details to students, puts a complete mailing list of freshmen in the 'To' box rather than using BCC... smh. *Evil laughter*1
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I feel like a good rule of thumb of how good a developer is (or how senior are they) is whether they know when a question should go in stackover and when it should go in softwareengineerin.stackexchange.
Do anybody agree?1 -
Holy shit, what a language...
I'm currently learning Java right, I have never seen such a weird language in my life.
My background is Web Developing and some lua here and there. After a while playing around with Kivy and other alternatives to native Android Studio development I decided it was most probably time for me to start actually getting ready for the inevitable Android Studio.
Getting used to the GUI was easy, everything seemed to make sense and I was already used to IntelliJ.
But the issue came from Java, the number of ways that it's broken, just JVM by itself should be enough to condemn this language to eternal doom. Not even talking about the Syntax, coming from JS it was basically Hell.
I get it's more than useful, but seeing its History, Java should've probably stayed at its Oak stage lmao.27 -
When you do work on a front end ticket. You implement the things as UX tells you to, make a few mistakes, fix those as well when QA catches them.
But then UX realizes other improvements they can make , so you toss some of those in and move some of the other shit to tech debt to avoid possibly failing the sprint due to rabbit hole of front end awfulness because you suck at your job.
Then later somebody else a couple degrees above you in job hierarchy, notes a couple tips and things you could fix unrelated to your ticket. But when will it ever end or do. I suck and hate front end work, AY LMAO LEMME SUBMIT THE SAME SHIT WHICH RENDERS DIFFERENTLY BETWEEN CHROME vs CHROMIUM AND EVERYTHING THAT USES CHROMIUM.1 -
I have a handy RSS Feed Reader extension in Google Chrome that allows me to add RSS feeds and check them in a popup in my browser and get notified when something new comes up. I've added RSS feeds for my email, GitHub, and a whole lot of other things. It'd be really awesome if devRant added an RSS feed too, so users can implement devRant in their RSS feed readers too (if anyone still uses them in the 21st century lmao). What does everyone think?
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Getting the word out about your new shiny app:
Posting in relevant communities > Throwing money at Google Ads
Google Ads isn't even using up half of my daily budget lmao2 -
!rant
Do you guys live a healthy life? Or are some of us here like the stereotypical dev who sits behind a desk eating bad gaining the pounds while stressing the fuck over code lmao
Personally I use to be quite active but now I'm getting back into bad habits and have started to notice that I'm stress eating <.< and choosing dev work over exercise...7 -
We should start giving devRant profile link in Resume/CV lmao.
Hope that will be a new trend haha.6 -
I'm studying Databases and I'm getting confused about Foreign Key.
A Foreign Key made reference to Primary Key of another table. But what's the point? Can't I simply use a value and select requested data where TableA value is equal to TableB value?
Sorry if I didn't explain it well, I'm so confused lmao7 -
think all of this impulsive OS booting is burning out my old laptop,
RemixOS - partially boots then gets stuck on a black screen
Android-x86 - won't boot past a black screen either
Windows 7 - i infected that shit so quickly lmao
Windows 10 - i'm not disgracing my old laptop with that
Xubuntu - boots, but my tablet configurator dosen't start properly wrapped in wine (Shenzen HUION only has Win and Mac drivers), and i am an artist
Gamedrift - haven't tried
ReactOS - Last time i checked, it won't boot but i should try again
any other suggestions?
super low specs on that old laptop7 -
The more years go by, the more people get sensitive and butthutt by everything around them. Can't swear in public nowadays because someone will get offended lmao.1
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Holy fucking shit bois. This is gonna be a long one.
So, its my last studying year for me. I found a nice apprenticeship in a dev company for which i'll have to make apps and stuff, so, I'll work at the company and at school.
Now it's good innit? Well here's the catch. I have to sign a contract for this. And the CUNT who is filling this shit is retarded enough to fuck up.
This bitch, a 40 yo accountant, surely filled many goddamn contracts before mine, but nooo, this wanker fucked this, the contract was missing important infos and some of them were incorrect, in short, it's not valid, 0/10, will never sign this.
Now here's the fun part, this cunt asked me for my infos, i gave them to him so that he could fill the document : he misinterpreted them, filling the paper with junk.
Today, I heard that he is unhappy of my behaviour towards him, and that I shouldn't insult his work with these accusations, saying that if I gave them more info (for which they didn't ask), there would be no problems.
He then called me, while I was in class, he acted smugly, said I was unclear and that I should gather more info for them, in other terms, "lmao do this yourself cunt"
"Fuck you, you cumstain, if you would've asked me, I would've been able to give you these infos right away, but you didn't, it's your fault for this, you're breaking mah balls yadda yadda"
(Roughly what I said, especially the insults)
I'm now forced to fill the contract myself because this bitch isn't able to google shit for 5 minutes to find everything he needed.
I have had so many problems with people of his kind, that I can't stand them now. Are they like animals? Do they feel my hate for them?
Sorry for dat long post, but fuck this, if the contract isn't filled, signed, and validated before the end of the month, I'm fucked, since i won't be able to sign up for the school.
Does anyone have had any problems like this? Like, a very egocentric cunt that isn't able to do something good because he is too proud to ask, so he prefers doing things his own way?1 -
Please, before exporting anything in whatever editor you use, check if it is in UTF-8. Today I didn't knew why my new font wasn't working in certain places and I later discovered that more than 9000 characters were replaced by the replacement character...
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Agh just started programming and having a tough time right now and have a final tomorrow =( anyone want to help me with some java problems =)? It would greatly be appreciated <3 They are pretty basic but I'm a rookie2
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What about Manjaro Linux? How many of you guys actually used this distribution? I did installed this distro on my pc. Everything's neat. Battery consumption is lower than other distro I've used before. However I'm facing an unusual behavior though. My laptops fan is making more noise than ever before. No heavy applications running. As soon as I hit the power button it seems like a fucking airplane is starting. Lmao. Is it related to os or something else?6
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So I'm getting a new job in a legal software company and I wanted to ask your opinion on computers. I know many are very biased towards OSX and windows and prefer linux but I'm trying my luck lmao.
I'm currently on a late 2012 macbook pro and its starting to fizzle out on me.
Not a bit fan of the new macbooks because of dongles and no direct HDMI. I was wondering if the surface laptop 2 was any good compared? All the reviews online are basically paid to praise it and the reviews on reddit are polarized. I prefer laptops that are thin and in aluminum.12 -
I am real tired of learning new stuff every day to keep up with technology I just wish someone invent some sort of pill, so when angular js, 3.0 released or vuejs or python or ruby or any new discovery , we just go buy a pill drink it and get smart, sorry if I offended you that how dum i am and that's how I feel lmao3
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!rant
*reworks complete solution then publishes it to Azure*
"Okay, now let's debug"
*calls function, no response*
*directly opens function in browser*
Function host is not running.
Fuck.
*opens Insights*
System.BadImageFormatException
(additionally, it states that it couldnt load my main project or one of it's dependencies)
Shit, never even heard of that exception.
DDG: yo you're fucked, here, have 3 proper results
SO: lul thats some known bug Azure Functions havent fixed till now
Github: Yeah got a lot of open issues ok that, they just aint any help lmao
Me, a naive person: "okay lets try randomly changing some dependency versions, might help"
It didn't.
Now my question: how do I escape Dependency Hell?1 -
Not sure why it's funny to me to see these kinds of pericles, but... lmao tho'
it's win10 even o.O'
5 -
From MorningBrew newsletter
Social Medias Plan Dinner in Group Chat
Facebook: Hey everyone, hoping to plan din for tonight, how do people feel about Thai? Also my handsome son just graduated look how handsome he is
LinkedIn: I endorse your leadership skills in choosing the dinner spot
*MySpace has left the conversation*
Facebook: Thank god lol
Twitter: Well this dinner blew up. I've got nothing to promote, so follow me on SoundCloud
Vine: Haha potatoes
*Vine has left the conversation*
Facebook: Where did Vine go? Vine was hilarious :( also my son is so handsome he got a job
LinkedIn: Where does your handsome son work? Hoping to connect further. Best
Twitter: No idea where Vine went lmao
Venmo: i'll pay you for "dinner"
Snapchat: y so ~sketch~ Venmo
Venmo: My mom has this
Snapchat: tru
Yik Yak: All of you were horrible in your respective high school plays. Everyone laughed at you
Facebook: Can we pivot to Russian for tonight? No reason
Twitter: Look facebook is the evil one
Facebook: JK can't do tonight anymore guys going to Congress. Also my son got a promotion
LinkedIn: Congrats, Handsome Son!1 -
Who said MS Edge was dead? Microsoft just announced that they plan to heavily support the Chromium project and "move to a Chromium-compatible web platform for Microsoft Edge on the desktop".
Source: https://blogs.windows.com/windowsex...4 -
For some reason, out of no where, I made this word up. It's called Moop, and it's definition is paradoxical. It means "everything and nothing, anywhere and nowhere, etc". So one day at work one of my coworkers pushed his untested commit to the master branch of our 25k project. To make matters worse, he deleted all other branches and previous versions of the project. Our project manager heard about it and became so angry that he almost broke our no-curse-word-policy. So he called is all together to get around it so he could properly vent.
Project manager: "Guys I'm extremely angry at James (the one who pushed the untested source code to our commercial project, ruining it)
Me: well, I have a word that we can use
Project manager: what is it?
Me: Moop
You can guess what the next few weeks at work was like. All of my coworkers had to fix the crap James made, including myself. So the conversations went like this: "The mooperfluffer James should have never mooped with us!", "MOOP YOU JAMES, I HOPE YOU HET MOOPED TO HELL YOU MOOPUP!!!!!", "Hey James, guess what! I hope you moop yourself". Our boss became a strong moop user and spray moop all over James workstation. We put moop in his cup, his laptop keyboard, even his thumb drive. We downloaded moop.exe to his PC so we could moop his kernel.
Today James' life is officially mooped.3 -
Don't tell your family you're a programmer... they will all ask you to install a program or clean their computer lmao!
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The day when you forget your iPhone passcode and get locked out and the only way to get it working again is to restore it to factory setting. I’m stupid today lmao🤯🙃🙄😂😂
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Been working on redoing my desktop lately. Currently the specs are:
-FX-8350
-Gigabyte GA-970A-DS3P motherboard with a broken USB 3.0 header lmao
-GTX 660 (Gonna upgrade to an RX 580 at some point, I don't do any hardcore gaming so I know I don't need a top of the line GPU)
-Crucial BX500 240gb SSD
-WD 500gb HDD (gonna upgrade to a bigger one eventually)
-Some like $60 Dynex PSU I bought a while ago, waiting on my Corsair RM650x to come in
At this very moment, it's running Windows 7 Ultimate x64. Once I get to a point where I'm happier with the build, I'll switch it over to Linux and start ricing. It has Windows right now cause I'm just using it for some games and when I last fucked with the hardware, it was the middle of the night so I didn't want to spend too much time setting up a Linux distro the way I want it and everything right then, just putting that off for later (especially cause I use Arch btw)
I have been playing some Half Life 2 lately. I forgot how fucking fun that game is.
Aside from my PC, my birthday was technically yesterday (it's about 2:30AM as of writing this, and I've been up for a while, so I still consider it today). Now I'm 2 years away from being able to legally drink (and smoke since the law change, although I still do both anyways).
I'm gonna stop rambling. Life is fairly decent right now. Not too much to "rant" about except for shit with my roommates, but I won't bore everyone with that3 -
So notable international development company who promised changes by 8 days ago but halted dev 2 weeks before delivery and claimed they were shippable but need to meet with us first admits that was a lie without admitting it... Also no longer stressing us for the next payment anymore... Looks like the shit is on the other foot now bruv!
lmao
This means 2 more months of me doing analyst and QA work.... I just want to cooooooooooode. I haven't seen the code for this application and I'll have the joy of integrating all the duct tape into our ecosystem. I can hear them reeling the duct tape off all the way in India at this point.
It's probably gonna be so shit... -
Anybody like to rip up CTF (or similar)? I've honestly never done a CTF before, I'd like to give jt a shot. I'll get my ass handed to me because I'm not back up to par on OpSec yet, but I adapt well and when I get into a nice groove I can make shit happen! (I like to think so, anyways haha!!)
I've been in full on dev mode lately and haven't had any time to Hulk Smash for a while... I went to fire up a new Kali live USB today and I couldn't run through the updates like I always have- they changed sooo much and I was pissed because I didn't have ethernet with me. That'll be another day for sure, but I still have my machine with Manjaro armed to the nutsack and back with the BlackArch rep. I def could use a break from the chaos, and getting my ass handed right to me sounds like an awesome time because learning is my favorite thing next to a possible chance at getting to destroy shit.
It's weird, because I'm sort of a n00b but also at the same time I've had computers ripped apart/jammed in my face since every day since I was 9 and Y2K was about to hit the fan lmao!! My hardware/network/layering knowledge is fuckin mint titties, I just can't code like a fuckin madman on the fly. I don't have a "primary" language, because I've been having to work with little bits of several languages for extended periods of time... I can at least find my way around all the dox without much of an issue and have no issue solving the probs I come across which is neat, but until the day comes where I can fuck a gaping hole through my keyboard on the fly like George Hotz during one of his lazy Sunday OpenCV SLAM/Python code streams all jacked up on Herba Mate hahahahaha!!!!
The dude uses fucking VIM and codes faster than anyone I've ever seen on levels of science/math so challenging I almost shit myself inside out when I catch one!!!! The level of respect I have for all my fellow red pills in here is as high as it gets, and that's one of the best parts about being a code junkie- sometimes ya get to cross paths with beastly, out of this world people that teach you so much without even having to explain shit.
If anyone's down, or maybe has some resources for me to check out so I can get my chops up let's make it happen
The new app passed apple review on the first go... wait... what?!?!