Day after the weekend. 😂

Someone: What do you do for a living?
Me: I tell computers how to be computers in their language.

So apparently this is an official company in the UK

client: i want to make an e-commerce site.
.
.
developer: how much are you willing to spend?
client: i'm on a tight budget, as cheap/low as possible.
.
.
web development on a budget y'all :------)

Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.

Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.

CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
IT: *ignores*
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*

After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.

IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".

👋

🎤

De-google your life

Search:
-qwant
-startpage
-searx
-duck duck go look up the founder
-yandex (putin botnet)

Mail
-cock.li
-ProtonMail
-Posteo
-Tutanota
-your own

Browsers
-https://kek.gg/i/3g2z6d.png (superior list)
-https://kek.gg/i/67YQQx.jpg (for furfags)
-https://wiki.installgentoo.com/inde...
/Web_browsers

Collaborative documents
-quip
-turtl
-ether pad (eg: notes.typo3.org or etherpad.net)
-microsoft office online (lol)

Image Upload/Edit
-kek.gg

Video sharing
-hooktube
-bitchute.com
-vid.me
-dtube.video

Social
-gnu social (for freedom loving patriots)
-mastodon (for proprietary loving gook pedos and sjws)
-gab.ai
-minds
-diaspora

Image Upload/Edit
-kek.gg

Google CDN avoidance
-Decentraleyes

Ad and script blocking
-uBlock Origin

Share links without gibbing clicks
-archive.is

Android
-droid-break.info

How to hosts file (lol, just block google bro):
-https://archive.is/gBJ8i

Reading:
-https://wiki.installgentoo.com/inde...
/Anonymizing_yourself#Fingerprinting
-https://wiki.installgentoo.com/inde...
/Firefox#Notable_add-ons
-https://panopticlick.eff.org

Torvalds doesn't give a fuck

I started counting at 0

Coding has caused a paradigm shift in the way I look at the world. Previously I would look at something and be amazed as to how it happened or was made and then depressed because I would think such things could only be done by geniuses and not by me. Now, I know that complex things are made up of many simple things and anything complex can be kind of deconstructed with enough understanding. Its an empowering feeling knowing that I can create something amaizng.

Manager told me the new girl's first pull request was waiting for my review, I felt dirty.

I came into the office at monday, and switched off the vent of my boss, which had been running since friday. Later when I kindly notified him that he had forgotten to switch it off, he replied:
"Oh, that's okay since i never shut down my PCs either."

Wish I could C#

What my colleagues think I do: draining their coffee machine
What my.boss thinks I do since a week: downloading a script
What my family thinks I do: repairing computers
What I actually do: browsing social media

Other "devs" shouting at their macs

Just found this goldie

┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／
┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ)
┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┃┃┃┃┃┃
┻┻┻┻┻┻

A client wanted me to make a website that compared the users face to that of a wrestler. We had done a lot of work, but now he wants to switch it...

to pornstars.

So, I guess the next week of my work is gonna be scraping porn websites. NSFW, for work.

My little sister is running for Miss St. Patrick's Day in my home town. You vote via a link everyday. It looks like it is done via Angular and jQuery.. I happened to found the API that does the voting via their source code...

As a big brother I want so bad to add a few extra votes... but that's wrong... right?

Will be working on a video/animation about programmer jokes. If you any suggestions, please comment.

This is the first one we did,
https://youtube.com/watch/...

Did you know that google early tests where run on a lego server

If you understand -_-

Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep😋

!Rant
When you realize you can double tap a post to ++ it

"How My Startup Failed Because My Developers Spent All Day Using Giphy Reactions On Slack" - An honest Medium post no-one has written.

This is the kind of comments that helps you to smile while you're getting a headache trying to fix your bugs :D

A whois search can indeed be full of surprises

PS: damn creativity