I think I'll never going to get a devRant stress ball, so i made this instead with my pretty low budget (0.5$).

client: i want to make an e-commerce site.
.
.
developer: how much are you willing to spend?
client: i'm on a tight budget, as cheap/low as possible.
.
.
web development on a budget y'all :------)

Boss: "I looked at a testing suite. It is $2,500 a license and I'm buying 60 licenses. You should probably get familiar with it."
LeadDev: "Um, we already use NUnit, and it's free."
Boss: "Hmm...I'd better add Pluralsight training in the budget so you can learn about the new program."
LeadDev: "Oh, no...we need new laptops more than we need software."
Boss:"New laptops? Not my budget. When we buy this new software, everyone is going to use it"
LeadDev: "Everyone? How will you monitor it's usage?"
Boss: "I'll have networking send me captures of all the running tasks on the dev machines. The test suite better be running. Writing good tests will be our #1 priority."
LeadDev: "Um, we already write tests using NUnit."
Boss: "I don't understand what you are saying. I need something I can visualize. This UI testing suite is exactly what I need."
LeadDev: "Maybe the testing suite would be better suited for you and QA?"
<click..click>
Boss: "Submitted the budget. There will be a test server available for you to configure. This whole project costs over $100,000, so don't screw it up. Any questions?"
LeadDev: "Oh...well...what server ..."
Boss: "Dang...sorry, I'm taking off the rest of the afternoon. We'll talk about this more on Monday. Get started on those Pluralsight videos. I'll expect a full training and deployments by next week. Have a great weekend!"

Client: I want a mobile game with Leaderboards, Social media sign-ins, In-game store, Ads, IAP etc in 2 months

Me: Cool, what’s your budget?

Client: $50

Client: We want a mobile shooting game with multiplayer, In-app purchases, leaderboard and stuff and you should also help us in publishing it.

Me: Cool what’s you budget?

Client: max $100.

I never replied again.

*Game Developer*: Works 16 hour days to tight deadlines, in a team restrained by budget cuts. Goes to bed every night exhausted. Games Producer releases game with known issues because deadlines.

*Gamer* (slovenly and lives with his mum, works at McDonalds): Finds minor bug which is fixed within a few days. Rants about 'Those useless fucking games devs' for days. Acts like his life is ruined. Wants a refund on a game he has played 18 hours a day for 2 years. Has 'The Best Ideas' on how to fix the game and make it perfect.

Boss: Hey build me a server.
Me: OK. How much storage.
Boss: IDK.
Me: How many processors?
Boss: IDK.
Me: How much RAM?
Boss: IDK.
Me: 1U or 2U or bigger?
Boss: IDK
Me: What’s it for.
Boss: [Program]
Me: How many concurrent connections?
Boss: IDK.
Me: Budget?
Boss: IDK.
Me: *eye twitch* oooooookkkkkk

Client: Can you build a Snapchat clone but better?

Me: I’m going to say probably not logical given the resources they have and what we have, but for curiosity, what kind of budget do you have?

Client: $2500.

Me: Get out.

Let's get rid of the developer training: Pair Programming

Let's get rid of the software testers: Test First Programming

Let's get rid of the project managers: Agile

Let's get rid of the project planners: Scrum

Let's get rid of the system admins: DevOps

Let's get rid of the security guys: DevOpsSec

Let's get rid of the hardware budget: Bring Your Own Device

Let's get rid of the servers: Cloud Computing

Let's get rid of the other scruffy guys: Outsourcing

Let's get rid of the office space: Home Office

Let's get rid of the whole fucking company: Takeover

Today's my lucky day for job rejections...

"Unfortunately we have decided not to proceed with you as a candidate because the salary range you expect lies outside our budget."

That's very interesting indeed because in the very first interview (phone call) you asked me about that range and I gave it, straight and simple.

Then I had to do a coding challenge, which I usually refuse, but did anyway. It took about 15 hours. Let's not forget that it had nothing to do with the job I was applying for, but OK.

After that, a second interview, which took 1.5 hours and a third, which gobbled up 2 hours of my time.

Then you tell me that you're not willing to fork over the dosh, after having wasted 18.5 hours of my time!

Thank you very much, you anus blossoms!

Client expectation vs client budget

My boyfriend is in dental school and I am, of course, a dev. So we often swap analogies to help each other better understand what we are talking (or usually complaining) about. My favorite one so far is when I was explaining to him how the sales team undersells websites without consulting developers and we are constantly over budget. So he goes, "That's like the receptionist telling the patient they have 2 cavities just by looking at them and having them pay immediately. And when the dentist takes a look, the patient actually needs 4 crowns and a root canal... but they already paid for just the 2 cavities."

Clients be like

Not a dev post, just wanted to share :) just for your viewing pleasure - My first pics taken using a low budget camera and ‘scope.

I don't care if you're a friend, acquaintance, or we fucking knew each other in high school!

If I fucking agree to do some free work for you, feel fucking happy about it! Don't fucking ask for more work or demand work or give me fucking deadlines just because you know me!

I'm doing you a fucking favor! Do you want me to send you the fucking invoice? I don't care if you're on a budget, I agreed to help you out, but don't you dare fucking cross the line!

*only developer at firm and client comes in to discuss building a website on a 4k budget*

"Ok but eBay does it, cant you just do it like eBay?"

Oh eBay who has teams of developers....and a huge budget to afford these developers.....that eBay?

Client's expectations VS Client's budget

Sometimes it just feels really good to see recruiters getting burned. A stupid one recently posted:

"When you find the candidate that has 15 years of experience in AWS, has a PhD in Artificial Intelligence, speaks 6 languages and is under budget... "

The comments immediately mentioned that AWS was formed 12 years ago.

Haha, what a stupid fuck!

Freelancing website be like: I need a Rolls Royce with high-quality leather and with perfect temperature control. I will also need a mini fridge for my champagne bottle and two wine glass holders. I don't think there's a lot of work to be done in it. It's an easy job.

Budget: $30

So my company is hiring only amateur developers, Including me.So that they can save on budget . So we have no one to guide us and ambitious deadlines are set .

Client: You can develop a e-commerce system for me right?

Me: Yeah sure, whats your budget?

Client: 100$ and I want a really good vps included in the price.

** FManzi left the conversation **

No more work for inexperienced

Me, a 19 year old student at a meeting with a "potential new project" today:

Her: So, we would like a website where people could rent a conference room, and pay for it on the website. After they have paid, we want automated emails to go out to us and the person that rents the room. We basically want an automated rental system.
Me: Sounds fair, what kind of budget do you have in mind?
Her: Well because you are a student and you still live at home, we have a budget of about €200 (~$220). We thought it'd be fair because you don't really need an income yet.

At that point I slowly tried to fade away from the meeting... Please help me 😭

Client brief vs Client Budget

yeeeah, seems legit xD

EDIT: programs like internet xD I'm dying

Here is the equivalent of every single mid sized "php" project listed on freelancer now:

I'd like a custom designed electric car.
Budget: $750.

And in 1999:

I need a literal pile of dog poop.
Budget: $10,000

A client asked me to work on a new website for them. They setup a WordPress site with a basic theme and asked for the following additions:

- Job application system
- Employee management
- Employee scheduling/holidays
- Online clock-in/out and pay calculation
- Training videos/modules for employees with progress tracking

And their budget... $75

😄🔫

Few phrases you should not say at Job:

1. That's not my job
2. We've tried that before
3. There's no budget for that
4. I told you so
5. That doesn't follow procedure

Comment if you have more.

high expectations on low budget.

PM: Guys, we have to upgrade Java 8

Me: hey check out all these cool functional programming stuff (lambdas)in Java 8.

PM: Sorry you can't do that. Our automated testing software isn't up to date to test Java 8. So you have to code it "vanilla"

Me: Erm, upgrade it?

PM: we didn't budget it for that.

Me: *thinks to me miself* brilliant

Newest additions to my 3rd country, high school student, under-budget working....er....station? I'll just call this my "computer bed" from now on.

"Why does the search take so long?" maybe because it searches through2 dbs with 20 tables with 5.000.000 objects on an 6 year old server with hdds and apparently there is no budget for a new server, but there is money for an 40.000€ art piece.

Fuck my fucking life. Laptop of about 6 years is finally giving up on life and I don't have a big budget right now..

Anyone advice on a new pc? I want a desktop one this time. 16gb ram minimal.

😥

"I need you to reduce the budget on this project you have already delivered."
- Actual client.

I have colleagues that enjoy only drinking, nothing wrong so far but those guys are ordering a lot of crates monthly on the company budget.

You can see it as part of the fun or making the workplace enjoyable, what's wrong with having some relaxed atmosphere?

The funny fact that each developer has an education budget and guess what? you can't even claim it, the manager said no to conferences, if you want to get a book or training he will come up with 1000 excuses.

So when the company priority is spending thousands on drinks and ignore education and growth don't expect the motivated developers to stick longer.

Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.

Suddenly it hits me.
It’s 01:20 here but i get it.
It’s ALL a budget thing.

No dedicated tester means less expenses.

No personal parkspot?
No expenses!

And no good staging or testing environment? Less expenses!

Meanwhile every developer can setup, work on, and maintain about 20 websites on their shitty local Windows machine, that doesn’t even have a proper SSD installed, and we are setting impossible deadlines to figure out who will sink and who will swim.

Ow, here is a SSD.. Figure out the installation yourself because we have no IT knowledge or budget for people that do.

You want a challenge? How about 40 other people that are distracting you all day long.

Meanwhile everybody has to improve their skills in js, react, html5, ccs3, angular, .net and razor so money can made faster.

It would be nice if you could build apps as well.

You had a question? Sorry, no time. Expect some feedback 14 days later.

You finished the site?
Great!

But here are 101 bugs to solve before next week.

All hail their crazy company!

Client: Can you build a Webshop and make it SEO,SEM and advertising-friendly?
Me: I COULD TRY. Whats your budget?
Client: Up to 400€
At this point I slowly faded away.

My IT team installed Antivirus on my 5 year old Mac Mini due to company security policy after the recent Ransomware attacks.
Now my Mac is slow as fuck. They are not even providing me new Mac, due to budget constraints. Totally fucked.
Fuck Ransomware. Fuck security policies. Fuck my company. Fuck everyone. Fuck everything. 😤

Client: "I'd like something like eBay..."

Do you answer:

A) Use eBay
B) You'll need more than the £250 budget you've set
C) Please leave and never bother me again

For fucks sake I'm getting tired of this company. We have an app that's been developed on a VERY tight budget with a team and it's nearly completed/basically done few fixes here and there. They keep going to meetings with clients and promising more than the fucking app does! BITCH IT TOOK 6 MONTHS OF DEV TIME IF YOU WANTED THOSE OTHER FEATURES WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT IT IN THERE SOME FUCKING TIME.

And now since I'm in charge of the remnants of whats left, they keep asking me to make demos of ridiculous new features to show to new clients. BUT THATS NOT WHAT THE FUCKING UP DOES AND WERE OUT OF BUDGET!!!

I explain this. Every fucking day. I'm told they understand. Then I'm asked to make a fucking glittery demo with some bullshit features we don't have YET FUCKING AGAIN. BITCH I WILL QUIT THIS SHIT!

IF I SPEND ALL MY TIME MAKING THE FUCKING DEMOS, I CANT FINISH THE MAIN APP YOU FUCKTARDS. STOP PROMISING SHIT WE DONT HAVE!

Budget: $2000

my employers' budget and my wallet for job :((

"Are you going to finish this part or am I going to need to hire someone else?"

~ Asked by a client less than a week into cleaning up and upgrading his Drupal 6 site to Drupal 7 which hadn't been touched in 8 years... Right after pleading with me about how he had no budget and couldn't afford any hours of development.

Client (big company selling luxury vehicles):
- "We need to replace analytics system on our website"
- "Since it is almost useless"
- "Our company deserve something better, google analytics is not simply enough"
- "Can you program it for us?"
- "We have already arranged budget for that project"
- "Like 200 euros, that must be enough"

Lol

What client wants vs client budget

Need advice;
Build a server or a gaming pc?
Budget: $2000

So instead of using the budget of 7k$ to buy all the plugins the old developer needed, he torrented more than half of them and deployed the system

which ended up in 20 thousand users including companies reporting a breach, because avira etc reported some kind of drive-by scripts on the new website

what a fucking buffoon, the most annoying thing about this is, that all the plugins had a "license file", so I didn't even first get, where all that shit is coming from

When client want a huge project with low budget

"Why does my app have so many bugs!?"
"Why does literally nothing work!?"
"How come you cant fix these problems soon enough?"
...
Me: "remember how you didnt account for testing in the budget or development plan?"
"No"
Me: "thats why."

Bought a macbook air last day with available budget i had - my first apple machine. I find it funny that, I learned cool trackpad gestures on my old Windows laptop that i didn't even know existed! - only because i spend few hrs with this macbook.

Thanks apple.

Client asks for website and budget very low and wants a form with dB. Think WordPress site is a solution. Build site.
Deliver site.
Client's IT team unable to deploy on server. They blame me for bad "code".
I have to go to their office and help them deploy on local machine using WAMP.
2 days and 100s of calls later, website installed on test server. Works fine.
All is well

I was given a 1700 nzd budget to make my own computer.

The mouse i threw in with my own money. I went 150nzd above budget and the rest is coming during the week.

Its going to be my first custom computer. And im fucking excited like its christmas back when i was 7 years old!!!

That's so true.. when those who will actually perform the work are excluded from the estimating process !

What do you think about it?

Why is it so damn hard to get publicity for an open-source project? I mean it's almost impossible to get anyone to even notice you. I've been trying to promote my project in every kind of social media imaginable and still I can't reliably get 50-100 unique visitors to my Github repo in a day. I thought writing the code was the difficult part, but clearly the no-budget marketing is what will be my demise.

My JetBrain studient licence is over ... :'( RIP i dont have budget to buy good IDE.

welcome back VScode

Hello World!

Migrating to my first Thinkpad (E585), something that I've wanted to do for a long time. I've heard a lot of great things and I wanted that sweeeet performance boost over my budget craptop (partially pictured).

> Ryzen 5 2500U
> RX Vega 8 integrated
> 8GB DDR4
> 256GB NVMe
> It's a thinkpad
> Runs Gentoo Linux and I swear I've spent the entire weekend learning and configuring it (my first time)

When the client asks you to build him a website "like" booking.com but his budget doesn't even pay a weekend on a cheap hotel...

"I have the best idea in the world" Starts defining reddit with paid content curators. Says that after we develop this "nobody will need to use Google again". Arranges a team of +20 people. Budget is 5000 €.

Inflating the company coffee budget ;)

"Could you make me a nice logo really quick? I have no budget"

.. sure, just let me press the "make Logo"-Button in Illustrator

Client : I have a big budget for this Project

*delivers price*

Client : We have to go lower with the Price or I see myself forced to hire an indian developer

background : Client wasted over 70.000£ in the last 10 years on his Logistics Website. Why ? Kept hiring cheap "global leading it companies" from India

Last year the rewrite of an ancient system (VB6/mainframe COBOL) was started. Instead of moving to modern architecture management decided to rewrite the app's functionality into our last gen WinForms client/server arch. I set up a meeting to present alternatives and plead for some level of modernization. After presenting and asking management to plan for five to ten years in the future instead of just this year's budget my director said, "In five to ten years I'll be retired on a beach in Tahiti and this will be your problem to solve." It was the last straw and I left the company shortly after. Last week I found out the director was force retired out of the company. I sent her a congratulations slip and a cocktail umbrella with "Tahiti" written on it.

Just in time. This is my small home setup

Freelancing sucks. "A good developer told me this should take a couple hours." Or "I need an Uber like app with built in payment and social integration. We have a $50 budget and it shouldn't take more than a day or two to build." Or "I need a simple game built. Should work on Apple and Android. No budget but we could work out a share of profits." Really wish I had a real job...

3 in 1
---

If your project needs more than three sentences to describe and the budget is not in the high four digits or preferably five, then you're clearly not fucking paying enough

---

Clients that just write a "?" after you wrote a very detailed tutorial, which even a fucking skunk could do, if given a fucking mouse and keyboard, are just the fucking laboratory perfection made retards

---

I just LOVE IT when my internet drops out for under a minute, so windows doesn't notify you yet and your sftp client trashes both local and remote files

The other month i went into work, excited to actually get something done. On top of that it was yearly bonus day. Quick check on adp to see the bonus and nothing there. Email my boss and ask whats up. Ten minutes later i am unemployed after two years because of a cultural fit. No warnings, nothing bd said about my work, made all the deadlines. Guess they didnt want to say budget cut. Haven't replaced me yet.

man fuck miners. I;m trying to build an budget pc build for my cousin, and every singe meh card is fucking overpriced thanks to miners. I hope they get fucked over in the ass

Upwork Job post:
I want a small website where you can post product images with title, price and descriptions. It should have a search functionality like amazon. The users must be able to add products it in their cart, post reviews and buy from there. I want it to integrate with PayPal and other payment methods. And yes, i want to be able to write blog post too.

Budget; $50

XD

So, the company I’m working for is finally merging with its sister company. That means budget for upgrading our infrastructure. And guess who volunteered to be in charge of it, and future sysops. That’s me.

Previously we haven’t had anything close to a sysops, and our servers has been neglected and never updated nor upgraded since 2012. We even had a Windows Server 2012 running with rdp wide open...

Worst part of being a dev...working for a company that doesn't understand your potential. Knowing that you can do so much more than they are but being limited due to a myriad of excuses, budget, time, user base, etc.

Most pissed off? Must have been the time I created a $10,000 hole in a marketing team's budget after trying to build a Tetris-style Facebook app game (back when FB apps were all the rage). It turned out that Tetris, which was up to that point commonly considered as public domain, had been scooped up by a patent troll who had made a convincing case that he had found and gotten agreement from the originator of the idea (a Russian dude who may or may not have been its original source). I had to scrap the whole project and explain what I did to an old-school manager who didn't even know how to operate a computer. That resulted in my losing credibility as a team member for the next 6 years. I never lived it down. I was pissed mostly at myself for following my assumption and not doing any patent research.

Finally got approved to bring on a second developer for a three month project. Our vendor provided 12 of their "best" candidates, and we picked the only three that actually knew the programming language required to interview. Two did not speak sufficient English and the last one sounded perfect. Two weeks in, he quits and doesn't answer the vendor or us. No money in the budget to try again and I end up developing the entire thing myself. Five months later and I have finally finished.

Received email from one of my shitty client. He wants a calendar based scheduling and reminder functionality with playing sound whenever necessary.

He said his total budget is 30USD and he generously offered Extra bonus of 20USD if I could deliver it in two weeks.

I'm going to write an email to rip this bastard and make sure he never ever send a budget to something like this to anyone.

Oh wait ! This is interesting let me schedule a skype call. He will regret for sure.

Being sick absolutely deleted what bullshit I can tolerate

- Searching through feed of jobs
- See 999$ Job with description "*platform* forced me to put a budget, but it's not fixed, tell me your quote and what's fair"
- Quote X$ with Y$ interview cost
- Get a message, write and then get the budget "I got offered 10$, 40$, .. if you can do it for 75$ it's a deal!"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, THAT'S WHAT THE FUCKING BUDGET IS FOR, WHY PUT 999 IF YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T SPEND MORE THAN 75 WTF?

I do IT work along side my dev work. I had a Dr come up to me and ask me if I had time to help him pick out a personal computer... (Mother fucker I am on lunch break) "Sure" I say... "What's your budget, what will you be doing with the computer?" Dr - "I don't mind spending $6,000 and I want it for minor gaming..."

MUST BE FUCKING NICE!

Reasons why I hate the hospital I work for...

1. NO fucking budget, for fuck sakes our telecom system is still running Merlin Magix. (I’ve been working on getting the trunk and everything to at least push FreePBX out... Configuration configuration.) but, that requires a decent server to host said system... But guess what? We’ve still got a few servers online that are running server 2012 r2. NO FUCKING BUDGET.

2. Training. They don’t have the budget to send me to training, but the doctors here are rolling in Mercedes... Must be fucking nice.

3. I have 5 f-I-v-e job descriptions. I’m a bio medical technician, network admin, system admin, programmer, and help desk... I fucked up allowing them to know I program.

4. On call 365 days a year. That’s nice and all, but when I’ve got shit to do and the nearest Walmart is an hour away I don’t want a call from Louis “oh the printer has a jam” FUCK OFF LOUIS! Get the paper out, we’ve been over this, I believe in you!

5. Some of the FUCKING (l)users.... You wouldn’t imagine some of the calls I receive, some of my favorite being late late “Hey *anonyops* I know it’s late but we’re needing a chair moved from one room to the other.” FUCK YOU YOU CHEEKY FUCKING CUNT.

The only reason I’m still here is my direct supervisor and a hand full of people that I’ve grown to love. Also, because any computer related job here is either outsourced or filled by a YouTubing god. - reason 1 why I started my own business. Supply and demand.

Rural Kansas Hospitals = shit, inb4 thanks —insert president to blame—

Client wanted a website to offer rentals for her collection of student rental properties. She was adamant and stipulated that it had to be the Rightmove of student lets. I asked her if she had a £million plus budget for the marketing and then some for the infrastructure and mobile app development. She disapeared. Months later I checked the URL she had purchased and it had been done as a free site on wix.com and was a dreadful piece of shit. You just know instinctively that a client is going to be worthless.

Every appraisal meeting ever...

TLDR: Don't ask for free support a year after I redesign your site.

Background: Last year I got ask to redesign a non-profit website, they say they had a set budget (note to future self: If someone has a set budget than walk away). I redesigned their (and got it done 5 weeks early). Their happy and only ask for support once.

2018 comes around and someone from the non-profit (a different person since I guess they changes volunteers every year) calls me and basically asks for help on how to change something on the site, I decide to be nice and tell them how to do it, then they contact me a week later with a different question and I decide to just give them the answer (while offering a monthly support contract).

Sometimes I'm just too nice but I guess if you own the business you have to be nice to everyone.

A Client wanted a Webshop, SEO etc... i was like "sure mate". After a while of talking he said his Budget is around 250€. GG.
Move on, nothing to see here.

2 in 1

How I fucking hate people that are over apologetic, but don't actually learn anything out of it, maybe next time you do the same fucking mistake again, I'll shove a fucking spiked metal rod up your ass and twist it, so next time you sit down you seemingly still fucking feel it and remember to check beforehand to avoid the fucking issue, you fucking buffoon.

--

Another thing I'd stick a rusty crackneedle pipe up somebodys internals is "for each day late we will penalize 500$ from the budget" while the budget is like 2k, go fuck yourself and eat your cash, with your "30 day challenge" job, you fucking cumstain.

😂😂😂

Sooooo I got new RAM for my low-budget server today.

Now introducing: 24 GB DDR2 RAM

XD yes I know DDR 2 is slow but very, very cheap ECC memory.

(still not enough for Chrome)

My company makes us take "courses" such as 'Maintaining a positive attitude towards your company' and 'the downer'(my personal super low budget skit)

FMDL

I got my promotion by forcing it. I work at a fairly large gov organization and have done so for 2.5 years. I had been asking for a pay rise for years but was always told there’s no budget. I was doing work way beyond my pay grade as many senior devs had left. Eventually I got really sick of it so applied to another company, took 5 interview rounds but I had an offer that was a 30% raise on my salary at that time.

I submitted my resignation fully thinking that i’m going to leave, but what do you know, my division not only found the budget but did so in 2 days to come back with a counter offer. It’s funny how when push comes to shove, money that previously didn’t exist just appears out of no where

So we were organizing an IoT hackathon and wanted to build something cool to show off to the participants, so we had this thing where if people would tweet about our hackathon, they would automatically be sent a code via a DM for a vending machine that we built from scratch (carpentry, electronics, everything) and they would get goodies upon entering their code! :D

We unveiled this machine at midnight when the participants were beginning to get sleepy so that they would have something to keep them awake. Instant success! We got tired of refilling the machine ran out of goodies stock even though we had plenty!

(The goodies ended up being only chocolates due to budget reasons :P)

Hey devs, what kind of headphones would you recommend?

I'm looking for high end, but not completely audiophile grade.
My budget is in the $300-$400 range.
Wireless is preferred but not required.

And please, nothing that completely drowns me in bass :P

If your client doesn't know what the fuck he wants to see on his website even with all text and images included - don't take this fucking job.

They will let you choose a template and you end up switching it 5 times. "Oh we don't like it. What else do you have? Oh, this looks better." Next day "We don't like this theme anymore. We want to switch to what we had before."

If people can't draw their home page on a paper I tell them go fuck yourself straight in a face. I always put these people on my reference list so my future clients know I'm straightforward, not lazy, not low skilled, but honest with dumbasses like some of my previous clients.

You are asking for a basic website with 5 pages, you have a shitty budget and then I have to customize the entire theme and tweak every fucking possible element in CSS, HTML and PHP. Go fuck yourself. All you get for your money is WordPress with 15 min consultation how to copy paste your shit and save it. Never do fixed budgets, never work on projects like this if it's under $500-1000. Meet with the client to understand him/her better and see if he is a jackass-perfectionist or a chill person who won't be picky.

That's my memories of being a freelancer, trying to get any job for any budget just to build my portfolio. Never going back to this, at least not for small businesses with less than $5,000 budget. Reading people before you start working with them is a good thing.

I had to set up a Raspberry Pi just to display a webpage since it is inexpensive and I didn't have enough budget to get a case for it so I present my homemade case. Lol. It's zip tied to the box within another box.

When your website is worth 75 billion and you still can't get your fucking app to work properly...

(Youtube app playing a video in the image)

A client just asked to reduce the budget on a project, which I have already delivered. fml. Also, I had a look at wakatime, and realised that I've spent over 100 hours on this project.

Yea 5$ for this is awesome!
Why dont u offer less for this?

That awesome moment when a fiverr client wants you to develop a cross platform mobile application that would share your battery charge(actual battery electricity power) via Wifi/Bluetooth. That too for a budget of $5. 🙄

Client: We are in a tight budget, but you'll get a lot of exposure
Me: NO! I have enough exposure on my camera.. 😉😜

"we have add a lot of cost partly due to currency exchange rate, but we also added some services and servers, we'll have a meeting and see what we can cancel or re-arrange."

So now....
- JIRA is gone
- SEO tools are gone
- budget for site security & SSL undecided
- Servers are too expensive.
$800 for twelve 2-24gb ram servers with backup, I call that bargain

Can't wait to see the websites falling apart. Now where are my popcorns?

My current dream project is sailing a 21st Century Message in a Bottle across the Atlantic Ocean from US to Europe, satellite tracking it in apps and desktop environment and more importantly inspiring school children everywhere that anything you can imagine is possible. Fortunately, the project is rapidly becoming a reality - here's how:
- teamed with a few amazing devs virtually
- team created an effective infrastructure for communication and knowledge sharing
- researched oceanic patterns, satellite communications, sensors, material design, recovery logistics...
- developed budget and received funding sign off
- created realistic, yet aggressive project plan with deliverable dates
- built relationships with two Universities for Oceanic knowledge assistance
- developed a partnership with NOAA and will share info

Oh yeah, we did all that and are having fun in only 25 days so far! More challenges to come but we embrace the challenges!

Budget setup! Third monitor on the left is waiting for a cable. The bigger monitor is a 27'' that i got for 15€, the vertical one I got for free. Mini itx ryzen setup behind the monitors. Chinese mechanical keyboard with outemu blue switches

Finally found a client who thinks TTD and unit tests are useful ways to spend development budget.
Still expecting to wake up.

It's interesting that AAA games are becoming analogous to pop music, as they relate to the medium of which they are part. E3 is just a bunch of trailers for rushed sequels to existing, played-out franchises. The big price tags are almost universally not worth it, as these games typically release with major bugs, and often rely on grind-enforced microtransactions.

Meanwhile, indie games keep getting better, more innovative, and remain reasonably priced. Ubisoft, EA, Bethesda, Rockstar, and the rest of the big-budget studios can eat my ass.

Sales was about to close what I thought was supposed to be a basic WordPress project with a pretty steep delivery time (two weeks). I thought to myself: "well, ok. It's going to be rough for us to fit it into our existing schedule, but I guess the budget (unusually high) compensates." After I say OK, I find out that they were actually about to sign a FE application that takes data from various document management applications. I lost my shit. I hope there's a special place in hell for sales reps that don't get the specs before accepting projects.

TL;DR: Fuck Wordpress and their shitty “editor”.

Client told me the Wordpress editor was unusual slow on their site. I inspected the network traffic, while fiddling around in the admin pages. What I found was an even worse nightmare than expected. Somehow the fucktard of an “engineer” decided to implement the spell check module, to parse all other text areas on the page - even the fucking image sources. The result is a browser sending a GET request to fetch the images from the server every time an author triggers a keyup-event. Disabled the spell check and everything was back to budget-ineffective-feces-Wordpress normal.

A site like moonpig.com with a < £350/$430 budget.

100,000$ budget for a website that mixes all YouTube, Facebook and Twitter features as per today.

The guy has a lot money to loose. I don't have enough time for this shit.

The shortcut to search solution explorer in Visual Studio is probably a choise made by PM after exceeding the project budget for the functionality.

!rant

I appreciate the aws budget alert.

I really don't like billing time for things I am not really sure how to do and need time to educate myself on. This happens more often than my wallet is comfortable with and I spend more time learning than making money. How do you go about staying in an estimate or fixed budget when something comes up that you don't know anything about?

When graphic design agency hands over inconsistent, partly done "desktop" A4-layout made in 2 days in InDesign. "Okey developer guy, make it responsive, magically. Oh, and pixel perfect!!" Design agency takes 40% of the budget. Never again.

Idiot: Hello, Sam gave me yo #, I need avery small database system, how much wd it cost.
Me: I can't giv u a price without knowing features of the system in details.
Idiot: letme send u a list of the features.
Me: ok
Idiot: Budget issues, Payroll, Reporting, capabilities, Purchasings,Projects/Awards, Trainings ,Input query, Fixed, assets, Central invoicing, General ledger, Accounts, payable, Accounts receivable.
Me: you managing a financial institution?
Idiot: no, its a university project.
Me: well am sory bt I can't help you guys, I dnt do campus projects.

Macbook or Microsoft Notebook?
I have a budget of 1600€.
I need it for developing mainly c# and web-dev.

Fuck, I did not know it was possible to wait this long for something to boot up. Too scared to even install Visual Studio.

Downgrading from my own i7 pc with 16GB ram and an ssd to a company i3 budget laptop with 4GB ram and 5400rpm HDD.

Could never understand all this bitching about Windows 10 and how it is shit slow, but I have come to realize what everybody has been complaining about.

Top devs, massive budget, ultimate teachers... And the guys from MIT came up with this

How you look when your customer tells you that you can not pay the rest of the budget accepted and completed, within two weeks because he has to change the four wheels of his BMW 4x4 :O

My foolishness of giving into an almost impossible dream seems to be finally setting in.

So the client, who is also my relative is launching an hotel. He wanted a website for the hotel with booking facility. The budget was plenty for that requirement and I was okay. In my calculations 20% of the proposed budget seemed fair to charge.

Few months in, it turns out he now wants a hotel booking platform where other hotels can also be listed. The reasoning was he wants to avoid the commissions charged by popular booking sites and also feature his own hotel in the booking platform that was about to be build.

I was skeptical about his intentions and my skills in developing it. I was also concerned whether he understood the responsibilities and overhead costs of running such a platform. He talked like it'll be fine. I calculated my billing to about 50% of the budget. I left the other 50% intentionally because I knew it would need for keeping up the site.

Time goes by, i am now 90% into completion of the new requirement.

Few weeks ago, i had informed about server pricing and I quoted a starting price of $15 per month. He seemed quite shocked. His reaction shocked me too and I got concerned whether I would even get rest of the payment ( already got 10% of proposed budget ) as advance.

Just few days ago, he now has a new requirement. He wants to show the hotel pricing from the booking site in Google Maps search. I tried to understand him that those are Ads and I was pretty sure price of running those ads are beyond his budget and probably negate any savings he is trying to make by competing popular booking platforms. Signing up for Hotel Ads as a booking platform is quite challenging. I don't think it'll happen.

I am now concerned he might bail on the project, so I have not informed yet. I just hope I get paid for the work I done and I'll inform then. :P

Anyways, the journey of it's development was quite insightful and challenging experience. I fell in love with a language I knew existed but never really bothered about and a framework whose only thing I knew was that it's name sounded cool to say.

Been working a year and a half on an offer for a client to plan their new system. Today they wanted us to construct the whole system and call it a beta only to pay 10% of the total costs. They said it is our responsibility to make the budget work as they are merely the "end users and not tech people". I am considering to tell them to go f**k themselves tomorrow.

Had an interview last week set up by a recruiter. Interview went well, aced the tech part, got on well with the interviewers, etc. They had one more interview the next day and would make the decision. Got feedback from recruiter the next day. I was in the top 2. Was told I had the best experience and skills. Thought I had this. Later that day got told they went with the other candidate because my recruiters presented me for $5000 more than the employer's posted upper limit. The employer just felt my salary requirements would push their budget too much so they went with the cheaper, less qualified candidate.

Not happy with my recruiter at all!

I just don't get the WordPress hate or CMS hate in general. Using these is not perfect, but neither is _anyone's_ code. Get over that and be more productive for your client. Unless you're the best coder the world has ever seen, and you're _always_ available to push content for an organization of 90 or 900 or 9,000 people, nobody CARES about your "coding purity". They want a website that they can still operate if your ass gets hit by a bus. Don't like WP? Find a CMS that ticks most of the boxes for your client's needs. If you have the time, budget, and long-term inclination to provide bug fixes for it, write your own Awesomesauce Custom CMS(TM) and release it to the open source community so we can finally replace WordPress with the next best thing.

Otherwise, launch site, get check. Repeat until you can retire.

friend : bro which phone may I buy?
me : mi / honor

next day
f : bro are you sure?
m : yup pretty sure ,in your budget this 2 are best phone

after 3-4 day
*call*
f : bro I buy phone.
m : congo , which pne ?
f : oppo f9

o(╥﹏╥)o

Got this in Slack from the owner of the firm I work for...

I mean, you already pay me half of the average salary I should be making, but yeah, let me get right on that...

To be fair, I work with this guy because he is a really good guy to work for, is very hands-off (no micro-managing), doesn't expect me to work on the clock or any overtime and lets me make all the calls with our directions in development. Plus he pays me all he can afford, so it's not like he's trying to screw me (he shares the books with me to prove it).

But still, the dude has to realize you get what you pay for. You don't go to McDonalds if you want a gourmet burger...

Never include freelance as a budget source in daily expenses. Think of it as a reward only! Now, plans are cancelled T_T

Loving my new Mi A1. Budget smartphone king I tell you!

So I still get occasional email from my former employer’s ecommerce mailing list. The budget for live model shoots is nonexistent, so we had to make do with photoshopping products into different scenes. Not ideal but done right it was ok. I’m looking at the latest ad emailed to me and realized something...was...off.

Anyone else ever had a scrum master or a project manager that just drives them insane?

Like they bug you every hour asking "what's our eta?", "are you done yet?", etc.

And they turn everything into a 2 hour long meeting (including standup) where everyone on the team is required and then they wonder where all the budget went.

And you have to explain the same god damned thing to them over and over again at these meetings. I wish they could be just technical enough to understand.

Boss says to give budget for a job. I give budget by associated cost of materials that we use. Simple math device cost x amont, we need y number of x. I give budget of $25k. Boss says that's great, he gave a cost of $10k to customer. We need to work on getting it closer to that.
WTF do you need me for?

If I have $100000 budget for a Steelcase chair, which one should I buy?

Why? Just why?

Motorola:
It was the only company which used to provide great budget android smartphone with stock android and regular updates. (ranting this on my Moto G3) But from moto G3, they fucked up with promised android OS upgrade (shitty Lenovo)

Microsoft (for fucking with windows 10):
Still remember that first stable build of windows 10 released in 2015. After the first update they never stopped fucking with user's computer with different bugs. Still I haven't seen any build as stable as first one.

Saving to buy a Mac.

I'm a full stack developer: I do Web Development, Backend Development.

Not a graphic designer but I use Photoshop and Illustrator to modify assets that I receive clients.

What is a good budget Mac Laptop that I can hang on for most of my work ?

This utilization shit is stupid! Seriously man what the hell! Yes yes it's an important number yes yes I don't even care. You want me to increase my utilization and at the same time be wary of the budget, which are unrealistically tight to begin with. It's freaking impossible! Who comes up with this shit?

You know what? Half of this shit ain't even my fault! A project was set for 200 hours and a guy wasted half of that trying to figure out just HOW TO CONNECT TO THE API! Like the guy only wrote 30 lines in 100 HOURS! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME! THEN YOU PASS OVER THE PROJECT TO ME AND SAY YOU HAVE ONLY 100 HOURS LEFT TO CONNECT TO THE API, GET THE DATA (WHICH BTW DOESNT EVEN EXIST), PARSE IT, AND THEN CREATE GRAPHS AND A FULLY FUNCTIONAL SOFTWARE, WITH A USER INTERFACE THAT SHOULD RUN AS AN EXECUTABLE!!!! ME? ALONE?

MAN FUCK YOU!

Arduino project going off the budget and teacher asking for more functionality because "it can be made within 30 mins". We are working for 3 days and only things we are getting to know is new components that we need to add. That too in summer holidays... Fml

Just got my first paycheck. Felt amazing tbh. Proceeded to make a little Python project to help me with high precision budgeting and budget analysis. So, any grad students here who invest and/or save half of their paycheck and use their own code to help them do it?

Product Owner: Hey, can you guys own this incredibly fragile legacy app built with Grails, Angular and Mongo?

Me: No

PO: Go on. You can rebuild it!

Me: Sigh.. ok

- 6 months later -

Me: When can we rebuild this bloody app??

PO: lol sry no budget lmao!

I never understood how people have any problems with getting paid for freelancing work, when middleman/escrow platforms like upwork exist, just don't be retarded when applying for a job. I am so sick of those shit ass stories from people telling me "my client didnt pay meeee 😭😭😭" ITS YOUR FAULT. I never had any client not paying, if you don't have the option of escrow, then just fucking put remote execution via "update" system in for fucks sake or give remote control to the client while monitoring it, there is so much fucking ways to secure yourself, just don't be retarded and many clients instantly show their character when talking budget and turnaround time.

How many of you feel you learn something on the job?

As for myself, I learn much more from books than sitting day in, day out at work, doing more or less of the same things.

To me, this whole trial-and-error way of 'learning' is not really learning. I don't subscribe to this dogma. I don't 'learn' by messing up and fixing something. I need a full specification of why something works, when and how. I'm not satisfied by just being a code plumber.

This, next to the fact that most jobs in small startups don't provide a budget for you to expand your knowledge.

"... and these are all the software specs. But we have no budget"

@linuxxx I'm about to found a start-up.

In fact me and my buddy with some freelancing contracts. And we are in need of a dedicated server.

Our plan is to host the clients inside docket container.

Technology would be dotnet core and either react/angular/Vue.js, if that matters.

The host will run on arch, because I feel in love with it! 😍

Do you have any suggestions for a provider for us?

Budget between 100-125€
Location: Germany.

Thanks in advance!

When you decide to create a startup and then look for someone on freelancer.com to create your Million Dollar product with a budget of 750-1500

Client approved a design 2 months ago. I follow the design and build functionality based on the design and on budget.

What does client do... Doesn't want the site built says it doesn't follow their paper catalog. What paper catalog? I never got a paper catalog from design to follow. Three additional weeks later rebuilt the core of the site's functionality. And the final cost is 2.5 times over budget. Screw you Unnamed attorney search engine.

Client had this great idea for a business where he would kennel dogs at his house and have a premium upgrade to the service where he would sell dog treats and other items as well as have a private members only area where they could view their dog.
My first question was "Is there any demand from your customers for such things and what type of budget do you have?"
His response was "I don't have much of a budget but I can give you some hockey tickets and give you a stake in the profit."

I politely declined. He didn't even have any cameras in his house to pull off such a thing, either let alone he didn't have a boarding license. Oh clients.

Aye folks, im looking for a 3d printer and i saw some people with one on here, so ill ask, is there like a model that is universally good? Or a manufacturer or something. Budget is 350$ tops.

I need to buy a laptop to replace my 5 year old one. My work is mostly in data science. My budget is really flexible. Any suggestions?

Client: can you build a website like that for the MissWorld competition and it should have a payment gateway.
Me: what other requirements do you have?
Client: hmmn..just something to showcase our agency.
Me: what's ur budget?
Client: around $100
Me: ** you must be kidding **

Design team constantly needs help fixing bad commits and merges. (can't use git after using it for 3 years...) And boss wants to know why the ticket is falling behind.
After explaining I'm pretty much told that assisting other teammates is part of the job but I'm being paid to write code and need to stay late.... this is while I'm hitting a 10 hour workday already (skipping lunch). And btw, we aren't doing reviews this year because the business made some bad decisions recently and raises aren't in the budget.

We are all about structures, clean code and many other things that make our life easier, right?

Well... It's not all white and black...

As talked many times, projects can be rushed... Client budgets can be low at the start and only then grow...

Let me take an example:

Client X needs a tool that helps his team perform jobs faster. They have a $500 budget. So... Testing, clean architecture and so on - are not really a viable option. Instead, you just make it work and perform that task as needed. So the code has minimal patterns, minimal code structure, a lot of repetitive parts and so on.

Now... Imagine that 3 months pass by without any notice and clients are ultra happy with the product. They want more things to be automated. They contact developers and ask for more things. This time they have a bigger budget but short timeframe.

So once again, you ignore all tests, structure and just make it work. No matter what. The client is happy again.

A year passes and the client realizes that their workflow changed. The app needs total refactoring. The previous developer has no time for adjustments at this point and hires a new company. They look at the code and rants spill out of their mouth along with suicidal thoughts.

So... What would you do? Would you rant about "messy project" or just fix it? Especially since people now have a bigger budget and timeframe to adapt to changes.

Would you be pissed on such a project?
Would you flame on previous devs?
Would you blame anyone for the mess?

Or would you simply get in and get the job done since the client has a "prototype" and needs a better version of it?

---

Personally, I've been in this situation A LOT. And I'm both, the old and new dev. I've built tons of crappy software to make things work for clients and after years - they come back for changes/new things. You just swallow the pill and do what is needed. Why? Well, because it's an internal system and not used by anyone outside their office. Even if it's used outside the office - prototyping is the key. They didn't know if the idea would work or be helpful in any way. Now they know and want it done correctly.

So tired of clients wasting time with "features or changes we absolutely have to have" but after researching planning and estimates "it's just not in the budget right now"

Dear client. Your web development project budget has no room in it for me to help you fix your broken POP3 mail settings. May the odds be ever in your favor.

How many sh*t days does it need to make me down?
3 ...

I hate my company, for making everything overcomplicated and annoying.... I have to discuss with 3 peoples for 3 days to getting some gitlab premium licenses (20$ per month for 10 licenses)... Why do you need it? Why we can't use the free version? Why Why Why... It's not enough to tell them it will save us much times and improves the quality of development.....

Also I wanted to ask if we can to Jaxb or another Dev Conference this year... Then I got the information that we have about 2000 Euro for 10 people for training.......... What should we do if everyone buys a book this budget is out .... f*ck company....

Second day, half of the day was taken for fixing the live db on the fly cause of a bad structure of tables... at least fixed some other inconsistence too... later the day fixed a freaking shitty bug with Spring Devtools and 2 Classloader to make the product that I'm presenting in 2 days running.

Today next shitty day with discussion that everything I did last half year (introducing Microservices, Kubernetes, Kafka and other DevOps things) could be maybe useless when the external company will say that they use another ecosystem -..- for their microservices...

Someone looking for a disappointed java developer? I just want to develop the best product ever... I'm happy with every area... Frontend, Backend, DevOps, Fullstack, Architect in some kinds depends on the wishes and technologies.

Just ordered 3 new setups for our upcoming office - parts will arrive next week, absolutely hyped 😍
Each setup includes Ryzen 7 2700X, 16GB TridentZ RAM, Samsung EVO 970 M2 SSD, RX 570 Armor 8GB, Be quiet CM 10 600W, 3x Riing 12 coolers, NZXT H500 case. Also a 4K 27" Samsung Monitor and a 29" LG Ultrawide. Kind of overkill for office PCs, but as we're also hobby game developers and had kind of a budget, we figured it will fit our needs more than enough 😄 Pictures of the builds coming up soon!

Because the client had me roasting on a spit in nearly impossible features Hell for an entire year on a piece of custom software that ate up all the budget and my profitability, I completely forgot about a major other requirement that now will take me months to integrate. And they still haven't paid me for my other work so I can pay my other dev. My vendor/client negotiating "prowess" got me from "still not paid" to "indentured servitude".

FML. How did I convince myself that I'm good at business relationships?Why did I think I would be able to do custom software? I need to stick to just designing websites as a rank and file employee. No, actually I need to disappear until North Korea starts thermonuclear war and nobody cares about software anymore.

Got fed up of waiting for the carrot on the stick that is 'budget approval' and decided to start using trials of IntelliJ and JRebel rather than eclipse and restarting my server everytime I make a change. Now Ive become so accustomed to it that it feels awful knowing that in 30 days I'm back in the dark ages.

Our main client asked us to create internal totalizator for upcoming soccer world cup. One of variables was to support all employees (about 10k) from Europe without performance issues, ok PHP seemed enough for this task.

So, we almost finished implementing it and had a call with the client. He told us that now we need to support all employees around the world (over 100k).

And they don’t even have a budget for it...

Intel cores below gen 4 are bad. Cores above gen 4 cost a lot for minimal improvement. Therefore, a gen 4 is the optimal one to buy. That's what I've heard. True or false? What do you guys think I should buy (given that I'm on the strict budget of a teenager's pocket money)? Or should I give it up and choose a Ryzen?

So our sales rep got this email from some random dude yesterday (jan 12) saying he wants a simple webpage with a video background and some shit and that it's upmost important that it's done by jan 21.
Ignoring the fact that we are busy af, i thought well yeah it's doable. A simple onepager with some nice elements and some shit, ez pz.
In the email he also sent a link to a website simmilar to what he wants (as an example i presume) and it turned out to be a fully functional blog, a medium sized webshop (by the looks of it) and a whole lot of other stuff.
He didn't state a budget but seeing his demands I'd say his budget isn't much more than a couple of hundred €.

I need you guys' help.
As mentioned earlier in one of my rants, I trade stocks part time, make a little money. But I am too tired from my full time work. So it is badly affecting my health. My broker is providing us with an API and docs at a monthly fee to develop software to automate trades.
I posted a job on Upwork, a few freelancers bid but their price was way beyond my budget.
Hence I decided to take up programming.

I was initially inclined towards C#, but seeing as how complex it is, I was thinking of going for python. Do you think it is a reasonable decision?

quote when asking what cleints budget is for a job....

"ah yeh hence the when your ready but it wont be paid at the start but should it pick up the will be some form of payment avalible to you"

needless to say this is the same client who is the original meeting states "wait so why is this costing me loads for a custom website can we not give me the rates for if this is a project im working in the side"

well only if im allowed to treat it as something that wont get done.

A good way to avoid working for a bad company is that you can spot major problems in the interview and pre-employment phase. There are a number of things that indicate a bad culture that you can ask about right off the bat. Dress code, blocked websites, and work from home policy(or a lack thereof) can all indicate what kind of work environment to expect.

But the biggest one of all is a request for your salary history. If a recruiter or hiring manager wants to know how much you are or were making at a previous job, and will not allow the process to continue without the information, run.

Every job opening has a budget associated with it. The employer already knows what they want to spend on the position. They want to know what your current or previous compensation is or was, so they can perhaps save some money of that budget by offering you a very small amount more than the amount you tell them.

If they ask the question, I get suspicious, but then say, "I'd prefer not to disclose that. What is the budget for the requirement?"

If the person who asks you relents and tells you the budget, then all is well, in my opinion. But if they stick to the subject and insist on getting your salary history, then it indicates a culture of arbitrary subordination, which is not a healthy work environment. If it ever goes this way, I politely tell them that I'm not comfortable disclosing that information, and that I would like to withdraw my interest in the position.

Some backstreet fine artist come designer came to me wanting a website, her brief was a moonpig.com but for wedding stationery. I asked her if she had a million plus marketing budget for launch and a shit pile of cash, or was it just really some simple website that people can hire you to design bespoke wedding stationery. In the end she agreed it was just another basic website for peanuts. Either way the answer was fuck off, use squarespace or some other shit that you can fuck about in and cut me out of the process, I don’t want your tiny pittance and months of can you just.

Fuck you aws.
I forgot to stop extra ec2 and you changed 500 bucks.
Although it is my fault, still aws didn't notify me even after i had set up budget.
Fucking jeff bezos

Are there people here who actually unit/integration/end-to-end/stress test (almost) everything? Or is it a common fact that nobody has time/budget and/or needs to do so?

I like to think I test all the code I write, but to be honest, I think it's closer to 1 to 5%

Android development is so frustrating. Seriously, Android studio is such a bloated piece of... I found that is easier to make apps in open source game engines rather than that headache of a software. On the other end, most of these engines are not supported by my budget laptop because it doesn't have OpenGL...

I just want to give up sometimes.

Three years ago I started developing a platformer game on Unity. Really low budget if you consider $0 as funding. I had six levels and it looked really well, the problem though was I got bored

Where is the best place to pick up freelance work that actually pays a realistic amount?

I’ve been on sites like o-desk where there are folks looking for pretty big jobs and they have a budget of $100.

Guys, serious question.

I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.

Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?

Guys help me choose
I need to buy a laptop for development

Dell XPS 13
Thinkpad X1 Carbon
MacBook pro 13" without touch pad
Or something else?

Which one should I go for?
Budget: 1.3L INR (~2000usd)

A person asked me to look for parts to build a computer for her. She has a tiny budget and wants to play games. I asked what kind of games and she won't tell me more than "games from steam". She won't even give me an example. Also, she doesn't want to buy parts like the psu and housing used, but I already have problems fiting anything better than onboard graphics into this rediculous budget. Why are many people so ignorant?

Release:
1. with all features
2. on time
3. on budget (budgeted resources)

Choose two. Maybe just one. If you try to do all, you may not get any.

Whenever I'm asked if something is possible, I've resorted to responding "With infinite time and resources, anything is possible"

I have spent 5 days in Microsoft Excel trying to do my budget planner. I struggled a lot and too much Googling. Google started to show reCaptcha whenever I search for something after that.

Yesterday, I spent 3 hours and got my fully functionality web based budget planner done.

I don't know if I did the right thing or not but am really happy and I have the full control.

Agencies... Just hate when people are given only time enough for doig crap code, because "there is no budget". Hate even more to work on changes on top of it, because people just dont get why you take so long to do changes that supposed to be simple, ignoring the fact that previously they asked for some slap-dash shit. What do they think, that with time the code cleanup and tidy up itself?

The monotony of begging management for budget to retrofit unit tests which should have been there in the first place is starting to piss me off.

!Rant
Hello community!
I have a some Questions for you
I want to "Convert" my Prebuild PC into a Normal case...
My currency build has
A GTX 1060
An M.2 SSD (Idk the Brand)
A 2TB Hard Drive
A Intel Core I7 6700 (non K)
16 GB SO-DIMM DDR4 RAM.
And I Just want to put everything into an standard case (Idk which one Right now)
And also want to Upgrade my CPU to a I7 7700K
So I need,
A MoBo,
A PSU,
Case,
Cooler,
And new RAM
(Budget around 500-800CHF)
(Its low but I think its manageable)
Thank you for your suggestions in your comments!

Client called, they have enough budget to tap into a new audience 🤔 WHAT?!?!?!?!

I just saw some loan/bank ad that read something around the line "when the budget goes negative, the minus becomes plus" ("Când bugetul dă cu minus, minusul se face plus")

NO, this isn't a feature, it's a bug and it's called "underflow"

Client: we would like a fully featured web app with a companion mobile app. Here's what we want it to do

Us: ok nice. What's your budget for this?

Client: $5k

Us: ...

Hey everyone!
I am looking for a decent VPS provider with adequete privacy settings, but most importantly, u guys like and is cheap.
I looked at hetzner (but it rejected my id proof for some reason) and contabo (but it has a one time setup fee which i am reluctant to pay, but will pay if there r no other options).
I'll probably go with the cheapest plan depending on specs.
Budget is $5 😅

thanks ❤️❤️

Story time;

Major project, multi million budget, huge business and IT coordination, board level status updates, meeting started back in March 2018 for a Go Live of Aug 2019.

Based on draft requirements (and experience) I request the test environment be built for half of the work. Turns out that no one told Server Eng and they are out of space in both dev and prod until Q2 of 2019. We went from Green to Red because a Service Request.

Got an invitation for a telecon this afternoon. Just "some quick questions"(tm).
You stupid smurf dick, write them fucking down so that I can fucking prepare useful answers and probably eliminate the whole dumb telecon at all.
I declined the telecon, problem solved. No fucking questions means no fucking telecon. I won't burn through the project budget for ventilating your dick, you can hire a hooker for that one on your own cost centre.

Advice in building muy first custom PC/workstation.

So the main aim of this computer would be installing Linux, of course! And learning bash.

The second objective is learning Dask and doing some machine learning.

Budget, I dont want the must expensive stuff, because it usually costs double and doesnt perform double.. Second or third tier would be ok.

*this is not a gaming pc

Seems the rtx 2060 is the "budget" raytrace gpu at $349

Somewhere on upwork post online.
1. Require backend architecting done for Twitter like app. <more details on app >
2. Client budget: fixed price, 200$

Google c'mon.
It's time to release backdrop-filters. Please. Pretty please.

You already support the feature (although a little glitchy) with experimental flags enabled. Can't you finish it? Is it that difficult with your so very limited personal and budget (sarcasm)? At least that could be an excuse for Firefox.

I'm working in a really really small start up company (I'm the only developer here with the owner being a programming professor in the local uni).
It's my first job after leaving uni and I knew it was a risky decision that I've made but it was my hometown and I could save some extra money by saving on rent and food, also I've always loved a good challenge.
But the challenge isn't working as excepted. It's been a year since I've started here and there was no planning for almost nothing, it's a "do as you think it's best but I'll probably won't like so you have to it again" kind of methodology. Also I've been hire to do an hybrid mobile app and I've ended up doing a full e-commerce website with shitty outdated technology that I've had no experience in using.
So for me I'm more than done. I'm tired of having my suggestions being completely ignored, of the lack of planning and instruction and the fact that I'm being underpaid for what I do.
Fuck it, I'm looking for a new job.

I'm surprised how well Dell laptops are made. I'm using 2011 Dell Latitude E6320 and it really works like more modern models. Of course it would be lovely if I had new XPS 15, but it's really not bad for this budget. It just needs SSD drive and it's ready to roll.

I was discussing scope and budget with a potential client for a side project. It involved a good bit of complex postgresql and subsequent aggregations and creation of reports. He was hiring because the last guy's work was so poorly documented, they couldn't verify its accuracy.

Me: "So, what are your thoughts on a budget?"
Him: "We were thinking something like $15/hour."
Me: "Um...ok. If I can ask, where did you get that number?"
Him: "That's what we paid the last guy."
😑😑😑😑😑😑

Hi all - mind if I get some advice?

Are coworking spaces worth it? I currently work from home but I'd like the opportunity to network, get out of the house more and build a better work-life separation. The options I'm looking at are in the region of £200-£250 in the city centre (Manchester, UK), which is easily within my budget.

Two months in my new job, no task assigned to me yet. Not even one. There's been a budget reallocation, and the team just got dissolved. Will probably be moved to a new team (or not?). Part of me enjoys the free time I'm getting (I get to work on my side projects) but it's kind of depressing that I can't prove to the company how much I love building things while at the same time helping the company. 😔

I have two potential client meetings next week. The first one now knows she needs a website (but I have no clue what her budget is), I think she wants me to host the site as well as do site maintenance. The second potential client I'm working using the barter system (but I think she will end up owing me some money at the end). We will see how they both go.