Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuck
Buy Now
-
So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.
Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.
Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.
"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"
"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"
😓
*silently disables guest sessions*
Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅31 -
I'm new, so I'm unaware of the rules. I'll simply assume I'm allowed to post this, if there are any moderators, please tell me if this simply shouldn't be here.
I came from Sololearn, and someone told me to download devRant. I love it.
I was the most active participant in the Sololearn Q&A, answering questions and replying to comments quicker than you can close the app.
Everyone knows me and enjoys having me there, but something happened. Some idiotic troll kept harassing and trolling others including myself. The mods banned him but he returned and was targeting me.
He made over 50 accounts and never replied to a comment with the same account. He sent threats and continued polluting Sololearn.
The mods had a theory is was me and banned my account. I'm heartbroken, furious, upset, and empty without my SL account. My codes are gone, my comments, answers, and replied are gone. Everything is gone.
They think I ruined SL with a false account and I'm trying to clear my name. I'm innocent.
That's when I discovered this app. In SL I loved the community and the Q&A and everything. I loved helping out but now I can't. People are even making posts asking me to return, but the mods removed them.
I hope the community here treats me well, and I hope this will replace SL. So far, I haven't felt the same way as I did with SL, but I'll try to love it just as much.191 -
I love how the people on here are pretty much always nice.
Yes, there are some *wink AlexDeLarge* who use strong language, some dirty jokes and sometimes there are topics where people don't agree on but I've never seen any honest insults or toxic behaviour (other than the opinion on your shitty client or boss lol).
No annoying trolls (the nearest to a troll I know on here is Jase but he's fun and mostly welcome here).
No spam/ads from users (only maybe recommendations).
And the most unbelievable thing is that devRant itself is free, adfree and based on the community voluntary donating for the server and work costs.
Dude, devRant fucking rules.
16 -
Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.
Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.
CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
IT: *ignores*
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*
After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.
IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".
👋
🎤9 -
> be me
> want to write troll "viruses" to fck arround with frieds
> write batch files
> shit everyone can see what I do
> google 'how to make exe'
> install VS
> google 'make exe with vb.net'
> spend 3hr/s copying the Internet
> send friend exe
> blocked by antivirus
> write other bullshit
> actually learn stuff
> shit I'm kinda good at this
> keep going
> 4 years later
> be system administrator / devop / web dev / app dev / desktop dev
> get paid
> inb4 wants to troll friend - finds dream job instead7 -
Forbes: Adblock Detected. Please Turn off your Ad blocker.
Me: *Turns off Adblock*
*Clicks on Continue*
Forbes: Thank you for turning off your Ad Blocker! blah blah
3...2...
Me: *quickly turns on Adblock*
1...
*clicks on Continue*
*Adblock blocks 11 ads and Forbes loads*19 -
There's a spending machine in my job that uses a tablet with an app as the interface. I downloaded Spotify, put some music and switch back to the app. It's funny to see the people trying to find where the music came from.
16 -
No I will not disable my AdBlocker to view your content.
I'll just disable JS in browser.
*Troll face*14 -
How do i learn coding in single night? - someone asked me.
I gently replied : Pack your Laptop, and travel to North Pole in beginning of winter, you'll have 6 month of night to learn coding.
Once there - really just Google it there are tons of Excellent tutorials on web.6 -
Back in 2011 when I was 14, I created a cmd shortcut on all pc in my school's computer lab. Replaced the icon and renamed it to Internet Explorer. Deleted the original IE shortcut and a week later the lab got closed because they all the computers got infected with a "virus"
i know im lame kill me7 -
One time I wanted to use my mouse and it didn't work, the light was on and everything seemed normal, I flipped it upside down and I found a troll face sticker on the laser led ...
5 -
I just love it when my coworkers talk (troll) about Google Ultron like it's the answer for everything in front of a new dev and he's getting more and more confused thinking "what's this awesome Google product I've never heard about"
And we just know that within the next 30 minutes he will have tears in his eyes of laughing after reading the story and probably also has it 'installed' (like some other devs) on his desktop (http://imgur.com/gallery/W9Pnh)
Have a good chuckle if you haven't read it before:
http://imgur.com/gallery/iJD8f
http://imgur.com/a/AOz0d
Don't forget to download your adobe reader guys.
7 -
Sometimes the best "bug" are the troll posts, although personally I agree with it (even though a separate byte for both \r and \n make sense to keep for other purposes).
8 -
Found a security hole....
A fast food delivery service had an ID for every order it Said
"example.com/order/9237" - i go 9236... finds another persons order, address, and phone number
So What should i do?
i thought of making a crawler and then make statistics on everyones orders and send Them a link 😂20 -
When I downloaded a virus that turned out to be a troll. It spawned some windows with 'Trololololo...' flashed blue and red and jumped random on the screen while playing troll music.
Closing one window would lead to that window beeing duplicated.
When I got into coding, one of my first projects was a recreation of this.1 -
Diary of an intern story #101
Boss went to china for business purposes.
Me(just out of cheekiness) : what are you going to bring for us boss 😜?
Boss : for you, more tasks 😎😂
Why god why ;_;3 -
Rating:
"1 star for now. Will give 5 stars if it can make me coffee, bring me breakfast in bed and drive me to work."
It's a digital assistant not a literal butler you troll!5 -
DevRant is cool, mostly because we are united. We don't agree on OS, language, theme, or tabs. But we are united by code. Next time you want to troll someone, think about why you became a developer. To Code.7
-
In 2008 I took my first web development job for an agency that's no longer around. There was a Vice President there by appointment from our coke headed owner who really liked to micromanage and invade privacy with key loggers and screencap spyware to "manage" us. I found out because my machine would snag when moving the mouse cursor and sometimes I'd accidentally paste the screenshot into photoshop just before the software cleared the clipboard. Anyway, I wasn't supposed to know I was being monitored so I just unplugged my network cable and killed the service running the jank ass spyware. I'd delete it when no one was looking and wipe out the cache of screencaps it would compile every day. It was basically a troll vs troll stalemate for weeks. Finally they gave in and told everyone what was going on so we collectively decided to seek revenge. We bought a piezo buzzer about the size of a quarter that chirped like crickets at random intervals. We stuck it on the underside of his desk inside of the middle drawer area and let it go. They spent so much time and money trying to get rid of the cricket infestation. We let it go on for weeks. I ended up quitting before the gag was up, but damn was it funny to see him squirm in that office because of those crickets!6
-
So my ethernet randomly stopped working on Arch.
At first I thought it had to do with a conflict between it and my tethered phone, so I tried removing all my connections. Still wasn't working.
Next I tried to test the driver itself and make sure it loaded on boot. It loaded, but was disconnected.
Next I decided "fuck it, I know I was just using the internet on Windows, but I'll check the ethernet cable is still plugged in anyway". It was, and it was returning the right MAC address, but still no connection.
So I try debugging the driver further. Everything seemed fine, except it would time out trying to establish a dhcp connection.
Finally I figured, maybe Microsoft tried to troll me and lock out the ethernet waking on boot. So I restart my computer, load into windows and check my ethernet driver, it seems fine. I go to disable the shutdown of the card on OS shutdown. Turns out this driver no longer has that capability.
Wait a minute!? Windows is also having connection issues!?
I look to my left.
Fuck my life...
My router was off... I must of kicked the powerboard under my desk..........2 -
Corporate: Phishing Emails are serious. We need you guys to take this awareness training. Please report if you get any suspicious email.
*Sends the awareness training in a format that screams Phishing
Everybody: Wait... is this a test?1 -
Not directly a rant by me, but it would be a rant if my co worker would write it.
So lets the story start. Today my coworker wanted to see my new smartphone. And one of them is a little troll. After I unlocked he shouted "Ok Google call 666666"...
Lucky for me, my phone didn't respond. 10 minutes later he wrote me, that his phone is calling 666666 for 10 minutes xD.
There are about 20€ gone.
Karma5 -
#wannaCry Ransomware:
US engineers trying to find antivirus
Europe engineers finding preventing tools
meanwhile...
Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented fix for wannaCry ransomware"
Meanwhile...
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"
And meanwhile....
in Hyderabad Ameerpet - people might be seeing banners of training institutes mentioning that they have trainers available with 10 years of industry experience on this.😜😜😝😝6 -
The riskiest dev choice...
How about "The riskiest thing you've done as a dev"? I have a great entry for that. and I suppose it was my choice to build the feature afterall.
I was working on an instance of a small MMO at a game company I worked for. The MMO boasted multiple servers, each of them a vastly different take on the base game. We could use, extend, or outright replace anything we wanted to, leading to everything from Zelda to pokemon to an RP haven to a top-down futuristic counterstrike. The server in this particular instance was a fantasy RPG, and I was building it a new leveling and experience system with most of the trimmings. (Talents, feats/perks, etc. were in a future update.)
A bit of background, first: the game's dev setup did not have the now-standard dev/staging/prod servers; everything ran on prod, devs worked on prod, players connected and played on prod, etc. Worse yet, there was no backup system implemented -- or not really. The CTO was really the only person with sufficient access. The techy CEO did as well, but he rarely dealt with anything technical except server hardware, occasionally. And usually just to troll/punish us devs (as in "Oops ! I pulled the cat5 ! ;)"). Neither of them were the most reliable of people, either. The CTO would occasionally remote in and make backups of each server -- we assumed whenever he happened to think of it -- and would also occasionally do it when asked, but it could take him a week, sometimes even up to a month to get around to it. So the backups were only really useful for retreiving lost code and assets, not so much for player data.
The lack of reliable backups and the lack of proper testing grounds (among the plethora of other issues at the company) made for an absolutely terrible dev setup, but that's just how it was, and that's what we dealt with. We were game devs, afterall. Terrible or not, we got to make games! What more could you ask for!? It was amazing and terrible and wonderful and the worst thing ever, all at the same time. (and no, I'm not sharing the company name, but it isn't EA or Nexon, surprisingly 😅)
Anyway, back to the story! My new leveling system also needed to migrate players' existing data, so... you can see where this is going.
I did as much testing and inspection of my code as I could, copied it from a personal dev script to the server's xp system, ... and debated if I really wanted to click [Apply]. Every time I considered it, I went back to check another part or do yet more testing. I ended up taking like 40 minutes to finally click it.
And when I did... that was the scariest button press of my life. And the scariest three seconds' wait afterwards. That one click could have ruined every single player's account, permanently lost us players ...
After applying it, I immediately checked my character to see if she was broken, checked the account data for corruption or botched flags, checked for broken interactions with the other systems....
Everything ended up working out perfectly, and the players loved all of the new features. They had no idea what went into building them, and certainly had no idea of what went into applying them, or what could have gone wrong -- which is probably a good thing.
Looking back, that entire environment was so fragile, it's a wonder things didn't go horribly wrong all the time. Really, they almost never did. Apocalypses did happen, but were exceedingly rare, and were ususally fixed quickly. I guess we were all super careful simply because everything was so fragile? or the decent devs were, at least. We never trusted the lessers with access 😅 at least on the main servers where it mattered. Some of the smaller servers... well, we never really cared about those.
But I'm honestly more surprised to realize I've never had nightmares of that button click. It was certainly terrifying enough.
But yay! Complete system overhaul and migration of stored and realtime player data! on prod! With no issues! And lots of happy players! Woooooo!
Thinking back on it makes me happy 😊2 -
Ebay app: Hey, look at this offer, you can save 30%!
Me: Urgh, alright, let me have a look
*Clicks notification*
*Offer seems alright, took me by surprise honestly*
*Scrolls down a bit*
Ebay app: ITEM DOESN'T SHIP TO YOUR LOCATION *evil laugh*
Fucking gets me every time1 -
I don't mind if you down vote my answers on stack-overflow. But unless you leave a better answer or a comment explaining why, you are a fucking troll and an asshole.
I MEAN, YOU SHOULD TAKE A BIG STEP BACK AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!!!!
You aren't helping me or others learn from our mistakes by showing us the better way.49 -
So me and a friend were bored and decided to build this website.
If you ever need to use the internet offline;
https://downloadtheinternetnow.com/
Be prepared.8 -
A client asked me if I had some software to make an .exe file run on Android.
So I replied with:
Yes, you need to run the RNN through a HM05 then cross-compile the output with a MOSFET.
You might run into an arduino javascript, but you can bypass that with an stackunderflow or XSS7 -
"I don't have enough bandwidth to watch the twitch stream, is there a way to get the audio only?"
"yes, start the stream and turn off the monitor"
*sigh*6 -
Was reviewing a fun ball game on Play Store and Google decides to troll me.
Seriously what the fuck Google?
Yes the game is sad af. I am in depressions now and pay for my therapy.
Yes, this ball game taught me how to play a Piano. I am playing with city orchestra next weekend.
Umm... Not sure whether it is a bowling game but it sure has balls in it.
30 -
I have officially overcome the point where I, as a Web Developer, believe God does not exist... no, in fact he does and he's a monumental Troll (from here forth referred to as Trod), tasked with beating the living shit out of the hopes and dreams of developers like me with a stick...a stick called JavaScript.
And now many of you are thinking "Here we go, another JavaScript rant...".
But no...this rant is directed to whomever wrote the fucking JSON parser in Chrome (definitely Trod). And here's why...
In this picture on the left we can see a happy array being happily stored in memory, happily ordered, after being parsed from a fetch request...
And on the right, a quick refresh and a fart of Trod code later...
THE FUCKING ORDER CHANGED!!!
I hope you hear me you troll of a God...BRING IT... I've fixed worse shit than this so let's dance you asshole...
*quietly but graciously leaves to securely wrap head and testicles in tin foil*
12 -
Our professor once asked us to 'mess up' the functionality of a PHP script with one shell command for fun. People tried different things like occupying the port, messing with access rights etc.
My friend just wrote a 'sed' command to replace all the underscores with an empty space...😂
It goes without saying that he stole the show.2 -
Just got a call from an Indian scammer. He did the whole press Win + R shabang and I did what he said but the run box didn't appear (maybe cause I'm on a mac) I tried a few more times and then had a moment of enlightenment, I have a mac so that must be why the shortcut isn't working. He then goes on a rant saying everything is fine because he is the best technician and he can fix my mac too. He threatens to hack me and get my name and hack my computer but then goes straight back to his script and asks me to open my browser. I'm asked to go to a website which he mumbles so I don't understand and ask him to spell it for me. This of course is unacceptable and he goes no just type whatever you feel like typing, immediately changing his mind to xvideos.com instead. I say I can't visit the site since I am at work and he goes straight into trying to recruit me. Promises of infinite money and all I could ever wish for. Then he says I should work for him and he would pay me to watch porn which I politely decline. The final interaction was me letting him know I need to get back to work and to tell his call center buddies to never call me. He got super mad at me for accusing him of working at a call center whilst you can hear other calls in the background. 10/10 interaction.6
-
Today, a team mate has sent me this picture: he found this Olivetti in the street, near a trash bin. He will take it to the office next Monday so we are going to troll other team mates with this new and fantastic mechanical keyboard!!
2 -
Remote IT work. I had a caller immediately berate and try to insult me because she recognized my very Southern accent wasn't local and I wasn't onsite. They tried to insinuate I wouldn't know what they were talking about with "do you even know what [x] is?" Calmly, I said yes ma'am. This is before she ever got to what her issue was. It was command line things I needed to run to fix it, but she wouldn't stop talking. "Are you even trying to help me or do anything? You must not know what you're doing." I'm a terrible multitasker so I end up sometimes typing what I hear, saying what I read, or zoning out of everything to accomplish a particular thing. So it took me a minute or two longer than normal. But that call wasn't what pissed me off. It was the complete 180 she turned when she emailed in when I resolved the ticket, praising me for how knowledgeable and professional I was, that I almost considered it all a troll.
I don't have very many high emotion stories and neither is this one. I'm pretty laid back, go with it, person.3 -
devrant is the only community that I feel comfortable in.
I've been browsing since 2000 and been in many communities online so far, so that's saying a lot.
I've seen supportive comments towards me and others here, and that really makes me feel less hopeless.
I think the internet in general makes you feel like you're a number. Click the like and the sub button, just be one more in a million.
But here, you matter.
If you try to post something and you are sincere, but humble people will ++ and say nice comments.
If you get upvoted, you can WHO did it and what their online persona looks like.
It feels very organic and personal, which is saying a lot for a place like the internet.
In the standard online experience, people online take advantage of the anonymity to say shit they wouldn't online:
anything, from troll shit to presumptuous comments.
I don't understand how some people can connect being anonymous with denying themselves as moral beings.
Do these people walk around in real life fighting with every person that has an opposite point of view?
There's actual people out there that will read this post and think "what a fucking boy scout".
Sorry for having emotions.
how many fucked up people are there, so that devrant feels like a goddamn mirage?10 -
Date.prototype.valueOf = Math.random;
Use this as your 1st line of code in any web page or node server, for maximum lulz.
9 -
Fatal Exception: java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: OutOfMemoryError thrown while trying to throw OutOfMemoryError; no stack trace available
4 -
My professor asked my to write a method that recursively reversed() a linked list. Wrote an iterative version with the same name and called it in the recursive method. How I felt after she wrote 100 for my presentation...
6 -
What?... really?... You read my code? ...*wipes away tears*
THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!! You sir/madam/undefined are a true gentleman and scholar! (even if you are just a troll picking random shit apart to flash around your superior knowledge of design patterns).
Any time I receive a code review, that is bearing that is an actual review, born of free will and not a mandatory report - I feel flattered beyond words.
> Think its shit? - GREAT FINALLY FEEDBACK!
> Have an idea? - I'm all ears.
> Trying to sound smart? - You still read/used my shit.
> Want to understand my approach? - Grab a drink and get comfy son.
In a world where I am usually the only person in the world that knows WHAT MY ACTUAL WORK IS and there being only a select few people on the planet able to understand it, I am always grateful for developer feedback.
Seriously... out of your own volition you used my code, read it, made an effort to understand my thinking and THEN REACHED OUT TO ME with ideas!!??
I could kiss you... you beautiful binary saint.3 -
Two types of people. I see this way to often in the community, and yes, I know this to be true to every industry, but being that I am in I.T I will thus focus just on I.T.
We never know about the situation of other people, we can always tell them that it is natural to be confused at first and they should learn to look at the docs, but to be nasty just for the sake of it, because some screen protects you from catching hands.... that is the legit personification of the fat ugly little troll nerd that is so pathetic that he needs to shit on others over the internet.
Lads, web development can be complex, but it is one of the lowest forms of development, certainly not complex and glamorous enough to act as if we were gods...do we really need to be that mean and nasty?
28 -
"Six gnomes will be eaten one at a time by a troll and have different colored hats..."
LITERALLY please fuck ALL the way off. Entirely.8 -
Most pissed off? Must have been the time I created a $10,000 hole in a marketing team's budget after trying to build a Tetris-style Facebook app game (back when FB apps were all the rage). It turned out that Tetris, which was up to that point commonly considered as public domain, had been scooped up by a patent troll who had made a convincing case that he had found and gotten agreement from the originator of the idea (a Russian dude who may or may not have been its original source). I had to scrap the whole project and explain what I did to an old-school manager who didn't even know how to operate a computer. That resulted in my losing credibility as a team member for the next 6 years. I never lived it down. I was pissed mostly at myself for following my assumption and not doing any patent research.3
-
!rant && thanksgivings.
Sure we troll here. Sure we preach strangers here. Sure we hug unconditionally here. But everything is all cool.
I haven't been here very long but I found this community very good to communicate. In fact, we are talking more than dev related things. But I literally don't see any conflict or well.. shit posts/comments.
Really thankful for that. To everyone.1 -
If you think learning a language / working with a language you don't like is offensive to you and your morals .. Then don't do it.
Money is important to you ? Then you're just prostituting yourself to some higher authority. So DONT COMPLAIN!
You have the right to hate stuff while being paid for it. Understandable.
But don't shit on the shit you think is shit just cause you put yourself in the situation of not having an option !!
You're a worthless. Money hungry whore.
Yes, you hate Java/ x language but have to work on it ?
You're either a whore or have serious problems with standing up for yourself, but on the internet you become this amazing troll saying the language has problems.
Half the people who hate languages hate them cause it's common to hate them. Like being racist in the early American ages cause it was "normal".
Brain deficient motherfucking whores. Manipulated cocksuckers.
Sidenote : if you've honestly gotten shit on by a new version of the language you were using .It's understandable and I'm on your side. Using it without thorough research on the other hand is your mistake. Languages aren't ideal. Just Like most women don't like your dick cause, well it doesn't fit their use case. Deal with it not, troll about it.
I'm not like you. I experiment with whatever I like before using it. I work on my own stuff. I suck my own fucking dick and I get paid.
If you honestly disagree with me, put a couple points down on the language you hate and why you hate it ( considering the fact that you have actually used it and are not just trying to disagree with me )22 -
I never liked when rappers do the bridge on emotional songs.
the song starts like "ooohh, baby I love you, you know we're for each other, bla bla",
then the rapper comes up with some raw shit like
"baby you know that this cum is only for you,
we're meant for each other, you suck me so good,
you know that you moan when I raw in your ass"
bro, wtf... it was a gentle romantic song...
or when the singer is depressed, has dilemmas about life
and the rapper's like "im rolling on my mercedes bitch"
it actually sounds like rapper is intentionally making the singer look like a pussy.
now, before some troll comments that I'm an idiot dinosaur that can't understand hip hop, let me say:
I like hip hop, I'm not gonna make a fool of myself by name dropping rappers from the past or today, as if you needed credentials to emit any option about the genre. I will only say that I've been listening on and off since I was 15.
And I like emotional songs as well, any genre.
The problem is that I feel a sort of disconnect between the singer and rapper of a song.
You can't have one performer be like "I feel sad, life is hard" and then the other like "I GOT HELLA MAD DICK NIGGA, CHOKE ON MY CUM", in the SAME fucking song.
They are completely opposite emotions,
That works in movies, eg: a romantic slasher film, but that shit works because it's feature length.
There's enough time to make transitions and to let the mood slowly change.
Meanwhile, these guys are trying to stitch these things together in 3 fucking minute songs.
But this shit dominates the charts, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3 -
An online community I've been part of for years has seen a lot of popularity/hate overnight due to a new policy. The influx of new people who want nothing to do with us but just drop by to troll and be cunts is impressive. Also, a significant amount of bots. I want my online home back :( I'm for the new policy and very much against these new clowns who don't really have any reason to be on our page. Before anyone yells gatekeeping, it's a site about knitting and crochet. Why would you go there if you don't know either craft and have no desire to learn or talk about those? So disappointed. I hope it brought new crafters in and that the trolls will go away soon. It's been such a nice place for so long with barely any idiots because it was reasonably small.. And now look at this mess. I logged in to 20 friend requests from people I don't know and am almost certain aren't real people.
Why is it so hard for humans to accept that some people may disagree with them and that's okay?17 -
I dropped my kid off at preschool and went my way home.
She's 2 so I transport her on a stroller.
While coming back, I came across an old lady sweeping the sidewalk of her house, and it got narrow to pass through because there was a tree next to her.
I carefully slowed down as to not collide with her, and while going through, we noticed each other.
I did a tiny smile as a way of saying "hi" like I usually do to people on the street.
To which she gave back the most innocent and sweet smile I've ever seen a stranger give on the street.
I could honestly feel my heart crack as it happened.
I guess the stroller must have caused her sympathy thus that reaction.
(which is why I like going around with the stroller, because people tend to treat you nicely which feels nice, like butterflies)
I know it might seem like an ordinary story without a punchline, but let me explain that I walk this city everyday.
And even though the people here is very nice compared to other cities I've lived in, it is very rare to get smiled at with such joy.
You might still think that is not a good story. But I can explain its relevance.
As some of you know, I post triggering content on this account, closeted parts of me that I normally hide,
Such as sexual stuff, some people think I'm a degenerate but I like to think I just have normal sexual thoughts that don't affect others in real life AT ALL.
And I'm also very argumentative, again, some people might see it as troll behaviour. On my side though, I just don't like bullshit and call it out when I see it.
But with this post, I'm not trying to be more likable or negate all the weird shit I said. This post is just another closeted part of me, being emotional.
And the reason I hide that is because it is not generally well accepted when a man is sensitive, at least where I'm from.
For example, if a female friend at work had a nice haircut, sometimes I feel the urge to be like "omg girl you look so prettyyyy!!!!".
But if I did that I know what will happen based on DIRECT experience: people will assume I'm gay or weak, and will make fun of that.
Or the actual friend will think I'm hitting on her.
No, fucking thank you, not having that shit.
But even if people accepted that, they just can't conceive I'm also very direct and honest, so when they do get to know me better, they get shocked.
So what do I do? I just hide that. That might change in the future, but I don't have the energy right now to deal with some people's simplemindedness.
I'm not making any sort of political statement, like "people should be treat me correctly or else get fired because of offending my gender".
But I'm not gonna lie, it would feel very nice if I was around more progressive people. I wished I had just just standard male behaviour and thoughts.
I guess some people in progressive cities are more accepting of the whole gender fluid thing, so I wished I lived in one (let me clarify though, I'm not a mindless gender fanatic).
I'm also not perfect and sometimes the line between "I love your haircut" and "I'm into you" blurs the fuck out, so that's on me... I don't know if it's something I can change though...
Hopefully all this shit I'm saying doesn't make me look like a lunatic. Veeeery hopefully.
Though, If you think for real I'm a lunatic or bad person, you can suck donkey dick.15 -
Headhunter: what is your motivation to work here
Me: you contacted me about this role
Headhunter: *sigh*
Me: 🤦♂️🤷♂️4 -
My setup: AMD Phenom-2 1100T with fat cooler for silent PC, 16 GB ECC RAM, AMD Radeon HD-6850 passively cooled, WD Blue 1 TB HDD. One 22 inch monitor with 1650 x 1050.
The mouse is a bit broken because the click switch under the mouse wheel doesn't work anymore. The empty bottle in front of the PC is necessary for lying on the room light switch, or else it won't work. And the black/yellow tape is a fix for the worn out seat cover.
But the best, under the monitor, is the little green troll that serves as rubber duck.
-
When programmers troll. The comments of this commit is also legendary: https://github.com/torvalds/linux/...
6 -
I can troll all day by opening Devtools on a browser and change <input type=“password“> to <input type=“text“> they think i hacked google, facebook and their email acoount
-
How to troll a scammer:
Act like a old grandma that wants to know all the details and always change your name when finishing the mail.
(Just a random rant result of one boredom of mine)7 -
Serverless is like our Hoverboard. It's not "no server" and its not "a board that hovers".
Whoever comes up with these names deserves a medal for trolling the tech world.5 -
Challenges sister to a typing contest.
Finishes his turn and switches the keyboard to Dvorak.
Sister types every word wrong except a and h.
Laughs hilariously.
*Sister throws the keyboard at the wall*
Totally worth it.1 -
@dfox
You put that little horizontal scroll bar or you seriously wanted to troll us?
Thinking it's a side bar, I tried literally 5-6 times and then I gave up.
9 -
We have a badly out of shape but functional product , the result of a "if its not broke don't fix it" mentality. The only thing manangement cares is our next release and making meetings to plan other meetings...
Now comes the time of the security Audit (PCI)...
Manager : oh noooo the audit will fix this issue, quickkk fix it !
Us : welllll its a lengthy process but doable, we just gotta do a,b,c,d,e . Part a is essentially what we need the rest are refactoring bits of the system to support part a since the performance would be shit otherwise
Manager: can you do part a before the audit starts ?
Us: yep.
Manager: do it . Oh and pop those other issues on JIRA so we can track em
Audit completed....
Manager: so we got through ok?
Us : 👍 yep
Manager: okayy, take those other issues..... and stick em at the bottom of the back log...
Us : huh ? *suspicious faces*..... okay but performance is gonna be poor with the system as it is cuz of part A....
Manager: yeaaahhh * troll face* ....about that.... roll it back and stick that too at the bottom of the log. We got to focus our next release. Lemme schedule a meeting for that 😊
Us : faceplam4 -
>be me
>go to a job interview
>company said to wait 1.5 weeks
>wait 2 weeks, after that ,I message them
>the company writes back, tells me they haven't decided on a candidate yet
>two days later the company writes me a letter asking me if I'm interested in a fulltime position, and if yes they will send me more info
>I reply yes
>they don't respond in 3 days
>successfully troll a candidate9 -
Like a lot of people, I have created an account on a website to find a job.
The funny part was when I was asked for my city (with a little * to indicate that the information is required) and ... the field was just gray and unusable ...
The solution was simple, edit the html to enable the field and add the selected value manually because it wasn't added automatically on selection.
Today i'm not sure if this was a test, a troll of just a crapy form ...
(actually it wasn't speciallt a dev site so i suppose it's the answer 3...) -
My next stack overflow post on a fake account.
NOTHING WORKS IN WINUX!!!?
WEN I TRY 2 INSTAL WINUX, IT GIVE MEH ERRWOR. HALP!
I wonder how many downvotes I will get?
I'm not normally a troll, but today has been "fun"2 -
windows booted up into a blue screen for a second before going to the login screen.
i almost had a heart attack2 -
This is not a troll q, im gebuinely interested.
What sets spa frameworks (say react) apart from a templating engine and some dom fuckery? To me it seems they are all just syntactic sugar on top of these two very basic things (plus routing), but admittedly im not a frontend dev so im asking more experienced people here.8 -
>Be active on telegram
>Be a part of Android ROM building chat
>Sees a noob begging for free server to build ROMs
>Everybody thinks he's a troll and ignores
>Dude PM's me for a free server
>I tell him that admins have free server so PM them
>Dude PM's literally every admin of that chat
>Dude gets gbanned instantly lolol
Am I evil ?1 -
This is easy. Irl fork and acquire commands to let me reposess the knowledge of my children.
Things i can do while playing games:
0: work
1: sleep
2: eat
3: sex
4: workout
5: travel the world
6: troll my ex
7: read every post on DevRant1 -
So this morning something wonderful happened. One of my teams deployed some cache for our API using Redis and they didn't config it!!!
So it's TROLL-time!!! And we have some really cool troll rules if you DOS the QA stack!! So if they resolve it in less than an hour they will only have to use a funny cap all day long (even for lunch) but if it takes more than 1 hour it will be a full cyclist outfit for the whole day (over their own cloth).
PS: if you ever use Redis don't mysql it (why config it? it'll work!!!), because Redis will murder your server!!!4 -
I wished there was a lmao button, because sometimes a post/comment makes you laugh your socks off or is very clever, but a ++ won't just do it.
and you also don't want to reply with a "that's hilarious", because
a) it's non-content thus not something that others than OP would ever want to read
b) on the internet, compliments are usually interpreted as sarcasm
but such thing would also degenerate quickly into a troll tool, eg, a user posting an opinion in a serious manner, and other users spamming that lmao button...
so maybe not exactly a lmao button, but something similar, like medium's clap (although I think 50 claps per user is a bit too much).4 -
This is a long post and if someone comments without reading carefully I don't care about that person's opinion.
I have 3 accounts here, and that is a must have for me. Let me explain:
Let's think of people and who they are in layers.
The innermost layers are made of private and intimate things: fears, dreams, shames, basically things that are mostly shared with very close people, like family, best friends, and specially significant others.
On the other hand, outermost layers are the public persona, who you are as a citizen, who you are in your profesion, and so on.
So, you wouldn't normally tell your boss about your favorite sex positions.
Let's also say there can be layers in the middle, and all the layers sometimes overlap, but let's not get too deep into this as I think I got the point across.
Here on I explain the original thesis.
I am a developer, and as such I want to fulfill my needs on dev communities, one of them being devrant.
I wish to learn from other devs, I expose my (sometimes controversial) points of view. I rant about annoying shit in the workplace.
But also, at some level, I wish to be taken seriously as a developer, I wish to build a reputation, and I wish to be accepted, even in a shallow social level. There is a social factor to what we do and it's totally normal.
Now, the problem is that I also would want to express my inner self.
So what I do is I don't use my main account for that, I use another, in fact 2 other accounts.
There are several reasons for that:
* I want to hide intimate shit from trolls.
Imagine I griefpost about a loved one that died, then later found myself in a heated discussion about some language, and then some troll comments something like "I'm glad your x died". i wouldn't react very well.
* I want to keep my posts consistent.
If people become interested in what I post as a dev, then they are going to expect dev related stuff from me. If I start posting like controversial points of view, that's not very cool because I'd be doing like a bait n switch on them.
* I want to maintain a reputation, and I want to not get banned on the main account
Reputation as a profesional is a real thing, and it shouldn't be affected by your personal shit.
Also sometimes you argue, and things get heated, and sometimes you get suspended or banned.
You try your hardest to be respectful, but in some communities, some mods are trigger happy.
By restricting this on your alt account, you're in a way promising that you'll have the upmost behaviour on your dev account because that means being professional.
Now, I said I had 2 other accounts.
The reason for having 2 is because I separate two layers:
In the 2nd account I am open and direct regarding my points of view, and more argumentative, but still trying to be relatively civil. I would also post things that might be controversial or not popular. I try to be real basically.
You can conclude that the 2nd account is the one posting this, since this post could trigger some people.
In the 3rd account, I talk about intimate shit like traumas, fears, emotional pain, things I know I'll get support for (the same support I give others when in need) and are not controversial in any way.
This way I can vent painful things and avoid trolls.
Cool people appreciate it when you're transparent about your shortcoming and dark thoughts.
But it takes one asshole in a high horse to judge you. And sometimes you need to give that asshole the middle finger without being afraid of ruining your reputation
or getting banned,
or being scared of that asshole laughing about your intimate shit (again, I use this account for that)
I know it sounds like I have multiple personalities but I swear I'm ok, and hopefully what I said makes sense. People might say "don't use alt accounts, go to another site", but I find that devrant has some interesting people.
The obvious downside is that you end up knowing people more than what they assume, because you interact with them through different accounts.
This is kinda shady, but I'm not interested in taking advantage of others anyway so...28 -
Sometime ago in my previous job an IT prick decided to troll developers by blocking access to stack overflow in our offices. It coincided with a settlement case of a few million dollars that our company had to pay because some idiot copied code illegally.
It was one of the most confusing hours of my life : a few hundred developers looking at each other and laughing in the weirdest fashion.
We sure shat some bricks.2 -
!rant
I trolled my friend by telling him that there's a 100 MB data transfer restriction on Windows right now because of the Ransomware that's floating around the internet.
I can't believe it worked and now he thinks he couldn't copy anime or games from me because it exceeds 100mb file size.
What's your best troll moments to people who're not computer techies?3 -
Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*
Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?
Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*
Fred: perfect, thanks4 -
Got a strange thing today in class, as a teacher in programming. We have a lab where the computers haven't yet their final configuration ended, so the user used by the students is the administrator of the computer. And today, a student calls me and tell "sir, the password isn't the one you gave to us" (temporary the same for each machine until we fix the configuration).
Go to student's place, password incorrect with a hint "you know the code : up, up, down, down... oh, you don't know, huh? Too old! Too bad!"
Password was - off course - "konami".
But... how a student born in 1997 can think he can troll me with the konami code?!
He wasn't even born when I played on the NES as kid!
Sometimes I'd like to teach my students how to fly by tossing them by the windows...1 -
I'm soon leaving one of my SysAdmin jobs. Guess how I'll troll everyone then...
Right! I'll apply a Windows 10 total conversion onto all Linux client systems!
MUHAHAHAHA!
*note: some colleagues often ask if we could use windows instead - well, no.*
*note2: we have automatic provisioning and roll-out, so switching a theme is done with 20 lines of config code*
GDM:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1167924/
Icon:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1167936/
Cursor:
https://gnome-look.org/p/999870/
GTK3:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1013482/1 -
Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head4 -
Stop being high, Monster! Why the heck should I apply to a SENIOR developer position when my skills/experience are of a graduate?!
Job seeking site being troll... 😒2 -
[DISCLAIMER : Potential Troll Topic here] I am self taught python and js (not considering myself as a real developer as I don't push much on github and work in a complete other field than anything related to CS right now) and would be interested to learn another language, with another paradigm. So, as I love you all, I would be interested In your highlights as I am currently considering either C, C++, Rust or Go.
with C, I know I could interface it with python. With C++ (despite Linus considering it evil) I know I could interface it with Node. I don't know currently what to do with Go, but some people seem really enthusiastic about it (not really relevant I know) and Rust seems like the C of today, with a bunch of new cool kid stuff. My main goal, after all, is to learn something new, to have another sight on programming. Either understanding more about hardware or learning another way of coding (like different from oop).
I know it sounds like a troll, but I promise it's not, just a serious genuine question (hopefully it won't be closed here like on SO)
So what do you think devranters ?
Being eternally grateful to all of you, I wish you a good night.10 -
Are you planning on entering politics?
Because your documentation is dishonest, doesn't mention side effects and is not meant to be read humans workout a law degree.
Your code on the other hand makes me question whether you try to troll us or whether you are actually unable to understand what you were supposed to do. -
Today's conversation in our odc
Person 1: Jenkins Down
Person 2: YouTube or Facebook
Person 1: No... Twitter
Person 2: Gud it means you guys are not blocked...
Awesome troll...
😂 😂 😂 -
Not sure if this has been posted here already but if you want to troll someone, replace all the semicolons in their code with the Greek question mark ( ; ) and see how long it takes them to figure out the problem6
-
So today a colleague confessed to an attempt to troll my computer by SSHing into it and playing random songs. Thankfully he did not manage but he would just happen to do it the day we have a security audit.
-
I kinda started programming back in the day, by breaking 2 school servers using a simple batch "virus"... it effectively opened tons of porn videos, threw the mouse cursor to the top right corner of the screen and shut down the PC after 15 seconds.
I masked the file and made sure it looked like internet explorer (since my school, back in the day, didn't use chrome and didn't allow the installation of chrome)
It was meant to troll my friend but all computers shared files with each other which meant even the private PC's of my teachers got my "virus"
Eventually it landed in the startup folder and messed everything up. I got snitched out, and I had to fix it
(I literally just wrote another batch file to delete my so called virus... because of the 15 seconds time limit I had)1 -
When you get shocked to see if someone can hate Stackoverflow this much. Troll == Infinity
P.S. zoom if you can't see the image clearly. Sorry for not SO clear screenshot
1 -
201, an intro programming course using Python2. Prof was funny. She was a Redditor and slipped the casual troll face or derp face or other rage comic character in her lecture slides.
-
Just made my mom signup for DevRant telling her it's the new "Facebook" haha she wasn't too happy after signing up to realize the platforms purpose.3
-
Was trying to read the json data from a json file using python. But was stuck for a very long time as it was giving a json decide error. After much fuss I came to figure out that I forgot to use the read function to read the json data from the file :P1
-
Just came across a site with TERRIBLE CSS and some sort of event handling to block the user from accessing the dev tools.
So in my Chrome, no F12 and no Ctrl+Shift+I.
Well, guess what. The Tools menu in the title bar also contains a link to Developer Tools.
Me: 1 Them: 010 -
How to troll your coworkers at the office - http://fakeupdate.net
If your coworker forgot to log off their system, you can prank them with fake update screen. Also has the option of BSoD *maniacal evil laugh*6 -
Been working on a new project for the last couple of weeks. New client with a big name, probably lots of money for the company I work for, plus a nice bonus for myself.
But our technical referent....... Goddammit. PhD in computer science, and he probably. approved our project outline. 3 days in development, the basic features of the applications are there for him to see (yay. Agile.), and guess what? We need to change the user roles hierarchy we had agreed on. Oh, and that shouldn't be treated as extra development, it's obviously a bug! Also, these features he never talked about and never have been in the project? That's also a bug! That thing I couldn't start working on before yesterday because I was still waiting the specs from him? It should've been ready a week ago, it's a bug that it's not there! Also, he notes how he could've developes it within 40 minutes and offered to sens us the code to implement directly in our application, or he may even do so himself.... Ah, I forgot to say, he has no idea on what language we are developing the app. He said he didn't care many times so far.
But the best part? Yesterday he signales an outstanding bug: some data has been changed without anyone interacting. It was a bug! And it was costing them moneeeeey (on a dev server)! Ok, let's dig in, it may really be a bug this time, I did update the code and... Wait, what? Someone actually did update a new file? ...Oh my Anubis. HE did replace the file a few minutes before and tried to make it look like a bug! ..May as well double check. So, 15 minutes later I answer to his e-mail, saying that 4 files have been compromised by a user account with admin privileges (not mentioning I knee it was him)... And 3 minutes later he answered me. It was a message full of anger, saying (oh Lord) it was a bug! If a user can upload a new file, it's the application's fault for not blocking him (except, users ARE supposed to upload files, and admins have been requestes to be able to circumvent any kind of restriction)! Then he added how lucky I was, becausw "the issue resolved itself and the data was back, and we shouldn't waste any more yime.on thos". Let's check the logs again.... It'a true! HE UPLOADED THE ORIGINAL FILES BACK! He... He has no idea that logs do exist? A fucking PhD in computer science? He still believes no one knows it was him....... But... Why did he do that? It couldn't have been a mistake. Was he trying to troll me? Or... Or is he really that dense?
I was laughing my ass of there. But there's more! He actually phones my boss (who knew what had happened) to insult me! And to threaten not dwell on that issue anymore because "it's making them lose money". We were both speechless....
There's no way he's a PhD. Yet it's a legit piece of paper the one he has. Funny thing is, he actually manages to launch a couple of sort-of-nationally-popular webservices, and takes every opportunity to remember us how he built them from scratch and so he know what he's saying... But digging through google, you can easily find how he actually outsurced the development to Chinese companies while he "watched over their work" until he bought the code
Wait... Big ego, a decent amount of money... I'm starting to guess how he got his PhD. I also get why he's a "freelance consultant" and none of the place he worked for ever hired him again (couldn't even cover his own tracks)....
But I can't get his definition of "bug".
If it doesn't work as intended, it's a bug (ok)
If something he never communicated is not implemented, it's a bug (what.)
If development has been slowed because he failed to provide specs, it's a bug (uh?)
If he changes his own mind and wants to change a process, it's a bug it doesn't already work that way (ffs.)
If he doesn't understand or like something, it's a bug (i hopw he dies by sonic diarrhoea)
I'm just glad my boss isn't falling for him... If anything, we have enough info to accuse him of sabotage and delaying my work....
Ah, right. He also didn't get how to publish our application we needes access to the server he wantes us to deploy it on. Also, he doesn't understand why we have acces to the app's database and admin users created on the webapp don't. These are bugs (seriously his own words). Outstanding ones.
Just..... Ffs.
Also, sorry for the typos.5 -
Once I participated in a vacation kayak tour. Some other kid was sure that it was not possible to dual-boot as each OS installed would take up 100% CPU load for a brief moment when turning the machine on. This turned into a serious argument spanning the entire vacation. The fact that I had a working windows/GNUlinux install on a friend‘s PC did not convince him.
Me being an insecure pre-teen made sure to send him video evidence when I got back home (never received a reply ofc).
Looking back, I‘m not sure whether he was dumb or I just got trolled really well.2 -
We crack jokes at each other and use profanity at all times. Troll other teams with funny git commits. Our slack channel is filled with weird giphys. Currently the most productive team according to the Chief Architect. How open is your work environment?5
-
Today I read a comment on devRant about somebody asking what 1337 means. I think most of us know (almost trivial, maybe?), but what is really great is that so many people replied explaining what it means. Some replies were awesome, some were creative, some were just a basic answer to the question.
But none were hateful. ❤️
DevRant is a place for awesome people like you who understand that every one of us doesn't know something every day. That's developer life. That's devRant life too! The other day I told a senior developer about a Haskell project of mine and he asked: 'What is Haskell?' I was impressed, but it taught me a lot.
On devRant I see no troll comments like 'omfg fucking retard, you must be a faggot and live in a dumpster', which are common on the www nowadays and could have been found under a question like 'what is 1337?'. But not here. And this, while I see the occasional swearing in rants, but never at other members.
So thank you for just being normal people among other normal people. We swear at each other's fugly code sometimes, but we are a creative bunch of smart asses that stay classy at it.
👊5 -
Soo I am currently using Kali to have some fun.
While checking out MITMf I saw you can inject own JS scripts. I immediately begun to work on a "Marcel Davis Injectoin" Troll!
(FYI Marcel Davis is an German meme because he worked for an ISP as "The Service Guy")
My Script changes backgrounds, plays a Meme Song and puts a canvas in front of every input so you can't just click anything.
More features will come! :D stay tuned
6 -
I absolutely treasure the bug reports we get from users. Nothing helps bring the product closer to perfection than the informed critique of end-users.
Recently, however, this one dude is filing a new fucking report every time he encounters the same fucking bug. "X happens for operation Y on file A"
"X happens for operation Y on file B"
.
.
.
"X happens for operation Y on file Z"
Jumping Jesus Christ, man, I'm pretty sure we can identify a pattern after the first two!
I don't expect him to know about the work we do to reproduce a problem after one report but fucking hell, have some faith that we'll get the picture after two or three.
These are fully detailed bug reports too, so it's not like he's just being a troll.1 -
My friend asked me to set up his git for him
$ git config --global alias.co status
$ git config --global alias.br checkout
$ git config --global alias.ci status
$ git config --global alias.st commit3 -
Idea: postpone risky decisions to the 1st of April and say it was a joke if people don't like it.
~~Or keep them to troll people even harder~~ -
Quick tip:
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.
God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK
Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.
tl;dr gone off topic -
Flash back to when The old mouses had the trackballs in them, pulled the mouse apart and pulled the trackball out 🙃
Coming back to recent times, myself and a work mate printed off small troll faces and stuck them to the bottom of the laser mouses around the office huehue1 -
"(Getting) otwelld"
The state of a fallen laravel developer, after he makes a PR to the laravel or lumen documentation and the epic troll otwell closes it within a minute, with the epic meme "already there", although the documentation is absolute dogshit at places and actually merging those PRs would make sense, so not every single developer out there has to make the same mistake or debugging2 -
helping colleagues like a troll:
AAA: anyone know what the blabla_type_id column is for in the trololo table please?
AAA: oh and blabla_order while we're at it :)
BBB: ask AAA .... he always knows these
AAA: :)
ME: I would say the first one is id of blabla type and the second one blabla order, isnt it? :)
AAA: you two should work in support :)
#yourewellcome #allwaysapleasure2 -
Why can't we comment with an image attached? I wanna troll some devs with some plain old pics. lol jk. 😂😂😂
-
Wasting 7 sheets of paper because of this fucking HP Officejet(6600). ALL I ASKED WAS TO PRINT THAT FREAKING 14 PAGE LONG DOCUMENT AND YOU WITH YOUR FUCKING OWN MIND LET ME UNSTUCK YOU 7 TIMES!!!
Me: Sends the document to the printer.
Printer: Let's do like I am going to print.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
me: Let's open the back and remove the paper.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
Me: Just pressed OK and it continues
WTF YOU AREN'T EVEN STUCK YOU FUCKING STUPID PRINTER.
Looks like every time I send a file to the printer at least the 1st sheet will troll me with that message.
Printer is asking for some free base jumping from the window lessons.2 -
<sanityCheck> //asking for a friend
Some clever b*****ds wrecked a section of our production mysql db. To fix it I need to rollback the affected records 2 weeks - around 50/300 tables are affected, the other data must remain intact.
Currently my plan is to take a 2 week old dump and cherry pick the data I need from it, then combine it with a dump of the db in it's current state, drop the db and recreate it.
I know this approach will work - but it's risky, a pain in the ass and dealing with 300mb text files is tedious so since I only need to start in around 8 hours I figured It wouldn't hurt to post my approach and see if anyone thinks my plan is borderline retarded.
If you have any advice .etc that will make my life easier I would greatly appreciate it.
So in your opinion...
- is there a better/safer way?
- do you know of any db dump merge tools?
- have a recommended (linux) text editor for large text files?
- have you made any personal mistakes/fuck ups in the past you think I should avoid?
- am I just being a moron and overthinking this?
- if I am being a moron - In your humble opinion has the time come for me to give up all hope and pursue my dream of becoming a professional couch surfer?
</sanityCheck>
Note: Alternatively, if your just pissed that my rant is asking for a solution instead of simply trashing the people that created my situation and your secretly wishing it was on SO where it belongs so you can moderate/edit/downvote/mark the shit out it, feel welcome to troll me in the comments (getting dev advice just doesn't feel reliable without a troll - you matter to me). Afterwards If your panties are still in a bunch I'll post it on SO and dm a link to you to personally moderate - my days already fucked and I wouldn't want to ruin yours too.4 -
Trying to explain a game developer in a community, why its a bad idea to only make client side patches for equiptment to appear correctly..
me: because the server needs to be aware of the changes made to avoid faulty calculations, for instance if the client calculates a fatal but the server disagree..
dev: but it works...
me: yes, but not optimally.
dev: Working as intended (TM)
me: ... teh fuq?
not sure if he's a bad troll or wut..1 -
We were looking at the screen confused as to why the SolR queries that weren't working a day before were suddenly working.
Being the troll I am, I mentioned that maybe the little elves that live in little shoes came around and fixed it.
The other guy looked me dead in the eyes and mentioned "But there was no commit message."
We burst out laughing. -
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
I don't know what the hell this means or who the fuck came up with this idea, but it's funny how it became a popular repo http://bit.ly/2mM6wQm3
-
Saw a CSS troll post, here's a general development troll post.
Replace every semicolon (;) with a greek question mark (;) in your colleague's code and watch the compilers, runtime environments, and your colleague scream.5 -
Time for an actual rant.
3rd year of CS.
We have Mobile Systems course - Android & iOS development.
Lectures - 1hr of interview with Steve Jobs about greatness of iOS.
Practice - So far we had to write 2 android apps.
Seems wrong? No, it's perfectly fine for "Course Leader" (idk how the guy is called properly in English)
First app - 3 screens (it was forced to do it with Activities), data passing between activities, lifecycles
Second app - 2 screens - one with ListView (well, I asked about RecyclerView, luckily I was allowed), another one adds elements to that List plus Snackbars, Notifications, list item selection and removing them (I ended up adding retrolambda and streams to write it anyhow). We were asked to do it on Activities, I thought it was an overkill, in the end did it on Fragments.
What pisses me off - we were asked to do those two apps after watching one hour of interview, the guy who leads the practical part of course has no idea how to do things in Android (said it clearly), I was, and still am, only one who knows how to do anything.
I work as Android dev, so I want to help my colleagues. Decided to make tutorial streams where I explain how to do everything.
Troll colleagues come and dislike it on youtube, post lulzy comments into chat. Not that it bothers me much, but still, people who I'm trying to help are mixing my help with shit, great :)
If Polish devranters want to check out those streams (you can write a decent app after watching those 4 hours) I can post them in comment.2 -
If you ever want to troll someone who uses a language with semicolons, replace it with the Greek question mark (;) and laugh at their rage :)2
-
If I would be a network administrator , I would troll everyone by creating 2 networks, one called x-fast and another called x-slow. Obviously I would reverse them so the one called slow is actually fast, and the fast one is slow. So I can benefit myself from a private network with no one on it because it's "slow" :-)
Evil me or genius?2 -
Basic story on what this is:
This function when applied a @SideOnly(Side.CLIENT) shouldn't complain that it must be applied on a Side.SERVER.. but IDEA is being a troll and justs complains that this is an issue and must be applied on a Side.SERVER .. but it compiles so eh... i will just let it be...
-
What is your opinion of having a LinkedIn profile with such details? Will it help or will it hurt? For me, I think it's too much.
https://linkedin.com/in/...
Please remain civil and no troll attacks.3 -
The troll power to make other developers totally convinced that Prolog is the best language to implement anything in...
I will probably need an undo-power too...1 -
Just talked to a Java dev that develops web apps with SOAP API's about testing. Talked to him about SOAP UI ...He didn't know what SOAP UI was. Is he f*cking trolling me or just a guy with the wrong job? I mean he seriously refused to have ever heard about it. Dafuq?
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View