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So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.
Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.
Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.
"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"
"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"
😓
*silently disables guest sessions*
Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅31 -
I'm new, so I'm unaware of the rules. I'll simply assume I'm allowed to post this, if there are any moderators, please tell me if this simply shouldn't be here.
I came from Sololearn, and someone told me to download devRant. I love it.
I was the most active participant in the Sololearn Q&A, answering questions and replying to comments quicker than you can close the app.
Everyone knows me and enjoys having me there, but something happened. Some idiotic troll kept harassing and trolling others including myself. The mods banned him but he returned and was targeting me.
He made over 50 accounts and never replied to a comment with the same account. He sent threats and continued polluting Sololearn.
The mods had a theory is was me and banned my account. I'm heartbroken, furious, upset, and empty without my SL account. My codes are gone, my comments, answers, and replied are gone. Everything is gone.
They think I ruined SL with a false account and I'm trying to clear my name. I'm innocent.
That's when I discovered this app. In SL I loved the community and the Q&A and everything. I loved helping out but now I can't. People are even making posts asking me to return, but the mods removed them.
I hope the community here treats me well, and I hope this will replace SL. So far, I haven't felt the same way as I did with SL, but I'll try to love it just as much.197 -
I love how the people on here are pretty much always nice.
Yes, there are some *wink AlexDeLarge* who use strong language, some dirty jokes and sometimes there are topics where people don't agree on but I've never seen any honest insults or toxic behaviour (other than the opinion on your shitty client or boss lol).
No annoying trolls (the nearest to a troll I know on here is Jase but he's fun and mostly welcome here).
No spam/ads from users (only maybe recommendations).
And the most unbelievable thing is that devRant itself is free, adfree and based on the community voluntary donating for the server and work costs.
Dude, devRant fucking rules.
17 -
Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.
Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.
CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
IT: *ignores*
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*
After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.
IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".
👋
🎤9 -
> be me
> want to write troll "viruses" to fck arround with frieds
> write batch files
> shit everyone can see what I do
> google 'how to make exe'
> install VS
> google 'make exe with vb.net'
> spend 3hr/s copying the Internet
> send friend exe
> blocked by antivirus
> write other bullshit
> actually learn stuff
> shit I'm kinda good at this
> keep going
> 4 years later
> be system administrator / devop / web dev / app dev / desktop dev
> get paid
> inb4 wants to troll friend - finds dream job instead7 -
Forbes: Adblock Detected. Please Turn off your Ad blocker.
Me: *Turns off Adblock*
*Clicks on Continue*
Forbes: Thank you for turning off your Ad Blocker! blah blah
3...2...
Me: *quickly turns on Adblock*
1...
*clicks on Continue*
*Adblock blocks 11 ads and Forbes loads*19 -
No I will not disable my AdBlocker to view your content.
I'll just disable JS in browser.
*Troll face*13 -
How do i learn coding in single night? - someone asked me.
I gently replied : Pack your Laptop, and travel to North Pole in beginning of winter, you'll have 6 month of night to learn coding.
Once there - really just Google it there are tons of Excellent tutorials on web.7 -
Back in 2011 when I was 14, I created a cmd shortcut on all pc in my school's computer lab. Replaced the icon and renamed it to Internet Explorer. Deleted the original IE shortcut and a week later the lab got closed because they all the computers got infected with a "virus"
i know im lame kill me8 -
One time I wanted to use my mouse and it didn't work, the light was on and everything seemed normal, I flipped it upside down and I found a troll face sticker on the laser led ...
5 -
I just love it when my coworkers talk (troll) about Google Ultron like it's the answer for everything in front of a new dev and he's getting more and more confused thinking "what's this awesome Google product I've never heard about"
And we just know that within the next 30 minutes he will have tears in his eyes of laughing after reading the story and probably also has it 'installed' (like some other devs) on his desktop (http://imgur.com/gallery/W9Pnh)
Have a good chuckle if you haven't read it before:
http://imgur.com/gallery/iJD8f
http://imgur.com/a/AOz0d
Don't forget to download your adobe reader guys.
7 -
Found a security hole....
A fast food delivery service had an ID for every order it Said
"example.com/order/9237" - i go 9236... finds another persons order, address, and phone number
So What should i do?
i thought of making a crawler and then make statistics on everyones orders and send Them a link 😂20 -
Sometimes the best "bug" are the troll posts, although personally I agree with it (even though a separate byte for both \r and \n make sense to keep for other purposes).
6 -
When I downloaded a virus that turned out to be a troll. It spawned some windows with 'Trololololo...' flashed blue and red and jumped random on the screen while playing troll music.
Closing one window would lead to that window beeing duplicated.
When I got into coding, one of my first projects was a recreation of this.1 -
Diary of an intern story #101
Boss went to china for business purposes.
Me(just out of cheekiness) : what are you going to bring for us boss 😜?
Boss : for you, more tasks 😎😂
Why god why ;_;3 -
Rating:
"1 star for now. Will give 5 stars if it can make me coffee, bring me breakfast in bed and drive me to work."
It's a digital assistant not a literal butler you troll!5 -
DevRant is cool, mostly because we are united. We don't agree on OS, language, theme, or tabs. But we are united by code. Next time you want to troll someone, think about why you became a developer. To Code.7
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So my ethernet randomly stopped working on Arch.
At first I thought it had to do with a conflict between it and my tethered phone, so I tried removing all my connections. Still wasn't working.
Next I tried to test the driver itself and make sure it loaded on boot. It loaded, but was disconnected.
Next I decided "fuck it, I know I was just using the internet on Windows, but I'll check the ethernet cable is still plugged in anyway". It was, and it was returning the right MAC address, but still no connection.
So I try debugging the driver further. Everything seemed fine, except it would time out trying to establish a dhcp connection.
Finally I figured, maybe Microsoft tried to troll me and lock out the ethernet waking on boot. So I restart my computer, load into windows and check my ethernet driver, it seems fine. I go to disable the shutdown of the card on OS shutdown. Turns out this driver no longer has that capability.
Wait a minute!? Windows is also having connection issues!?
I look to my left.
Fuck my life...
My router was off... I must of kicked the powerboard under my desk..........2 -
In 2008 I took my first web development job for an agency that's no longer around. There was a Vice President there by appointment from our coke headed owner who really liked to micromanage and invade privacy with key loggers and screencap spyware to "manage" us. I found out because my machine would snag when moving the mouse cursor and sometimes I'd accidentally paste the screenshot into photoshop just before the software cleared the clipboard. Anyway, I wasn't supposed to know I was being monitored so I just unplugged my network cable and killed the service running the jank ass spyware. I'd delete it when no one was looking and wipe out the cache of screencaps it would compile every day. It was basically a troll vs troll stalemate for weeks. Finally they gave in and told everyone what was going on so we collectively decided to seek revenge. We bought a piezo buzzer about the size of a quarter that chirped like crickets at random intervals. We stuck it on the underside of his desk inside of the middle drawer area and let it go. They spent so much time and money trying to get rid of the cricket infestation. We let it go on for weeks. I ended up quitting before the gag was up, but damn was it funny to see him squirm in that office because of those crickets!6
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Corporate: Phishing Emails are serious. We need you guys to take this awareness training. Please report if you get any suspicious email.
*Sends the awareness training in a format that screams Phishing
Everybody: Wait... is this a test?1 -
#wannaCry Ransomware:
US engineers trying to find antivirus
Europe engineers finding preventing tools
meanwhile...
Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented fix for wannaCry ransomware"
Meanwhile...
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"
And meanwhile....
in Hyderabad Ameerpet - people might be seeing banners of training institutes mentioning that they have trainers available with 10 years of industry experience on this.😜😜😝😝6 -
Not directly a rant by me, but it would be a rant if my co worker would write it.
So lets the story start. Today my coworker wanted to see my new smartphone. And one of them is a little troll. After I unlocked he shouted "Ok Google call 666666"...
Lucky for me, my phone didn't respond. 10 minutes later he wrote me, that his phone is calling 666666 for 10 minutes xD.
There are about 20€ gone.
Karma5 -
So me and a friend were bored and decided to build this website.
If you ever need to use the internet offline;
https://downloadtheinternetnow.com/
Be prepared.9 -
I don't mind if you down vote my answers on stack-overflow. But unless you leave a better answer or a comment explaining why, you are a fucking troll and an asshole.
I MEAN, YOU SHOULD TAKE A BIG STEP BACK AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!!!!
You aren't helping me or others learn from our mistakes by showing us the better way.50 -
A client asked me if I had some software to make an .exe file run on Android.
So I replied with:
Yes, you need to run the RNN through a HM05 then cross-compile the output with a MOSFET.
You might run into an arduino javascript, but you can bypass that with an stackunderflow or XSS7 -
(Troll) Told my gf that I'm gonna be working on an application that fetches messages from someone else accounts.
Suddenly she acts bothered and spills out that she has been messing around with guys on that app.
Not sure what to do 🤔13 -
"I don't have enough bandwidth to watch the twitch stream, is there a way to get the audio only?"
"yes, start the stream and turn off the monitor"
*sigh*6 -
I have officially overcome the point where I, as a Web Developer, believe God does not exist... no, in fact he does and he's a monumental Troll (from here forth referred to as Trod), tasked with beating the living shit out of the hopes and dreams of developers like me with a stick...a stick called JavaScript.
And now many of you are thinking "Here we go, another JavaScript rant...".
But no...this rant is directed to whomever wrote the fucking JSON parser in Chrome (definitely Trod). And here's why...
In this picture on the left we can see a happy array being happily stored in memory, happily ordered, after being parsed from a fetch request...
And on the right, a quick refresh and a fart of Trod code later...
THE FUCKING ORDER CHANGED!!!
I hope you hear me you troll of a God...BRING IT... I've fixed worse shit than this so let's dance you asshole...
*quietly but graciously leaves to securely wrap head and testicles in tin foil*
12 -
Our professor once asked us to 'mess up' the functionality of a PHP script with one shell command for fun. People tried different things like occupying the port, messing with access rights etc.
My friend just wrote a 'sed' command to replace all the underscores with an empty space...😂
It goes without saying that he stole the show.2 -
Was reviewing a fun ball game on Play Store and Google decides to troll me.
Seriously what the fuck Google?
Yes the game is sad af. I am in depressions now and pay for my therapy.
Yes, this ball game taught me how to play a Piano. I am playing with city orchestra next weekend.
Umm... Not sure whether it is a bowling game but it sure has balls in it.
29 -
Date.prototype.valueOf = Math.random;
Use this as your 1st line of code in any web page or node server, for maximum lulz.
9 -
Today, a team mate has sent me this picture: he found this Olivetti in the street, near a trash bin. He will take it to the office next Monday so we are going to troll other team mates with this new and fantastic mechanical keyboard!!
2 -
Remote IT work. I had a caller immediately berate and try to insult me because she recognized my very Southern accent wasn't local and I wasn't onsite. They tried to insinuate I wouldn't know what they were talking about with "do you even know what [x] is?" Calmly, I said yes ma'am. This is before she ever got to what her issue was. It was command line things I needed to run to fix it, but she wouldn't stop talking. "Are you even trying to help me or do anything? You must not know what you're doing." I'm a terrible multitasker so I end up sometimes typing what I hear, saying what I read, or zoning out of everything to accomplish a particular thing. So it took me a minute or two longer than normal. But that call wasn't what pissed me off. It was the complete 180 she turned when she emailed in when I resolved the ticket, praising me for how knowledgeable and professional I was, that I almost considered it all a troll.
I don't have very many high emotion stories and neither is this one. I'm pretty laid back, go with it, person.3 -
Fatal Exception: java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: OutOfMemoryError thrown while trying to throw OutOfMemoryError; no stack trace available
4 -
My professor asked my to write a method that recursively reversed() a linked list. Wrote an iterative version with the same name and called it in the recursive method. How I felt after she wrote 100 for my presentation...
6 -
Most pissed off? Must have been the time I created a $10,000 hole in a marketing team's budget after trying to build a Tetris-style Facebook app game (back when FB apps were all the rage). It turned out that Tetris, which was up to that point commonly considered as public domain, had been scooped up by a patent troll who had made a convincing case that he had found and gotten agreement from the originator of the idea (a Russian dude who may or may not have been its original source). I had to scrap the whole project and explain what I did to an old-school manager who didn't even know how to operate a computer. That resulted in my losing credibility as a team member for the next 6 years. I never lived it down. I was pissed mostly at myself for following my assumption and not doing any patent research.3
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!rant && thanksgivings.
Sure we troll here. Sure we preach strangers here. Sure we hug unconditionally here. But everything is all cool.
I haven't been here very long but I found this community very good to communicate. In fact, we are talking more than dev related things. But I literally don't see any conflict or well.. shit posts/comments.
Really thankful for that. To everyone.1 -
Headhunter: what is your motivation to work here
Me: you contacted me about this role
Headhunter: *sigh*
Me: 🤦♂️🤷♂️4 -
How to troll a scammer:
Act like a old grandma that wants to know all the details and always change your name when finishing the mail.
(Just a random rant result of one boredom of mine)7 -
I can troll all day by opening Devtools on a browser and change <input type=“password“> to <input type=“text“> they think i hacked google, facebook and their email acoount
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We have a badly out of shape but functional product , the result of a "if its not broke don't fix it" mentality. The only thing manangement cares is our next release and making meetings to plan other meetings...
Now comes the time of the security Audit (PCI)...
Manager : oh noooo the audit will fix this issue, quickkk fix it !
Us : welllll its a lengthy process but doable, we just gotta do a,b,c,d,e . Part a is essentially what we need the rest are refactoring bits of the system to support part a since the performance would be shit otherwise
Manager: can you do part a before the audit starts ?
Us: yep.
Manager: do it . Oh and pop those other issues on JIRA so we can track em
Audit completed....
Manager: so we got through ok?
Us : 👍 yep
Manager: okayy, take those other issues..... and stick em at the bottom of the back log...
Us : huh ? *suspicious faces*..... okay but performance is gonna be poor with the system as it is cuz of part A....
Manager: yeaaahhh * troll face* ....about that.... roll it back and stick that too at the bottom of the log. We got to focus our next release. Lemme schedule a meeting for that 😊
Us : faceplam4 -
@dfox
You put that little horizontal scroll bar or you seriously wanted to troll us?
Thinking it's a side bar, I tried literally 5-6 times and then I gave up.
9 -
Challenges sister to a typing contest.
Finishes his turn and switches the keyboard to Dvorak.
Sister types every word wrong except a and h.
Laughs hilariously.
*Sister throws the keyboard at the wall*
Totally worth it.1 -
windows booted up into a blue screen for a second before going to the login screen.
i almost had a heart attack2 -
>be me
>go to a job interview
>company said to wait 1.5 weeks
>wait 2 weeks, after that ,I message them
>the company writes back, tells me they haven't decided on a candidate yet
>two days later the company writes me a letter asking me if I'm interested in a fulltime position, and if yes they will send me more info
>I reply yes
>they don't respond in 3 days
>successfully troll a candidate9 -
My next stack overflow post on a fake account.
NOTHING WORKS IN WINUX!!!?
WEN I TRY 2 INSTAL WINUX, IT GIVE MEH ERRWOR. HALP!
I wonder how many downvotes I will get?
I'm not normally a troll, but today has been "fun"2 -
Like a lot of people, I have created an account on a website to find a job.
The funny part was when I was asked for my city (with a little * to indicate that the information is required) and ... the field was just gray and unusable ...
The solution was simple, edit the html to enable the field and add the selected value manually because it wasn't added automatically on selection.
Today i'm not sure if this was a test, a troll of just a crapy form ...
(actually it wasn't speciallt a dev site so i suppose it's the answer 3...) -
This is easy. Irl fork and acquire commands to let me reposess the knowledge of my children.
Things i can do while playing games:
0: work
1: sleep
2: eat
3: sex
4: workout
5: travel the world
6: troll my ex
7: read every post on DevRant1 -
Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*
Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?
Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*
Fred: perfect, thanks4 -
>Be active on telegram
>Be a part of Android ROM building chat
>Sees a noob begging for free server to build ROMs
>Everybody thinks he's a troll and ignores
>Dude PM's me for a free server
>I tell him that admins have free server so PM them
>Dude PM's literally every admin of that chat
>Dude gets gbanned instantly lolol
Am I evil ?1 -
Got a strange thing today in class, as a teacher in programming. We have a lab where the computers haven't yet their final configuration ended, so the user used by the students is the administrator of the computer. And today, a student calls me and tell "sir, the password isn't the one you gave to us" (temporary the same for each machine until we fix the configuration).
Go to student's place, password incorrect with a hint "you know the code : up, up, down, down... oh, you don't know, huh? Too old! Too bad!"
Password was - off course - "konami".
But... how a student born in 1997 can think he can troll me with the konami code?!
He wasn't even born when I played on the NES as kid!
Sometimes I'd like to teach my students how to fly by tossing them by the windows...1 -
My setup: AMD Phenom-2 1100T with fat cooler for silent PC, 16 GB ECC RAM, AMD Radeon HD-6850 passively cooled, WD Blue 1 TB HDD. One 22 inch monitor with 1650 x 1050.
The mouse is a bit broken because the click switch under the mouse wheel doesn't work anymore. The empty bottle in front of the PC is necessary for lying on the room light switch, or else it won't work. And the black/yellow tape is a fix for the worn out seat cover.
But the best, under the monitor, is the little green troll that serves as rubber duck.
-
Not sure if this has been posted here already but if you want to troll someone, replace all the semicolons in their code with the Greek question mark ( ; ) and see how long it takes them to figure out the problem6
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Stop being high, Monster! Why the heck should I apply to a SENIOR developer position when my skills/experience are of a graduate?!
Job seeking site being troll... 😒2 -
Sometime ago in my previous job an IT prick decided to troll developers by blocking access to stack overflow in our offices. It coincided with a settlement case of a few million dollars that our company had to pay because some idiot copied code illegally.
It was one of the most confusing hours of my life : a few hundred developers looking at each other and laughing in the weirdest fashion.
We sure shat some bricks.2 -
!rant
I trolled my friend by telling him that there's a 100 MB data transfer restriction on Windows right now because of the Ransomware that's floating around the internet.
I can't believe it worked and now he thinks he couldn't copy anime or games from me because it exceeds 100mb file size.
What's your best troll moments to people who're not computer techies?3 -
Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head4 -
[DISCLAIMER : Potential Troll Topic here] I am self taught python and js (not considering myself as a real developer as I don't push much on github and work in a complete other field than anything related to CS right now) and would be interested to learn another language, with another paradigm. So, as I love you all, I would be interested In your highlights as I am currently considering either C, C++, Rust or Go.
with C, I know I could interface it with python. With C++ (despite Linus considering it evil) I know I could interface it with Node. I don't know currently what to do with Go, but some people seem really enthusiastic about it (not really relevant I know) and Rust seems like the C of today, with a bunch of new cool kid stuff. My main goal, after all, is to learn something new, to have another sight on programming. Either understanding more about hardware or learning another way of coding (like different from oop).
I know it sounds like a troll, but I promise it's not, just a serious genuine question (hopefully it won't be closed here like on SO)
So what do you think devranters ?
Being eternally grateful to all of you, I wish you a good night.10 -
How to troll your coworkers at the office - http://fakeupdate.net
If your coworker forgot to log off their system, you can prank them with fake update screen. Also has the option of BSoD *maniacal evil laugh*6 -
Today's conversation in our odc
Person 1: Jenkins Down
Person 2: YouTube or Facebook
Person 1: No... Twitter
Person 2: Gud it means you guys are not blocked...
Awesome troll...
😂 😂 😂 -
I'm soon leaving one of my SysAdmin jobs. Guess how I'll troll everyone then...
Right! I'll apply a Windows 10 total conversion onto all Linux client systems!
MUHAHAHAHA!
*note: some colleagues often ask if we could use windows instead - well, no.*
*note2: we have automatic provisioning and roll-out, so switching a theme is done with 20 lines of config code*
GDM:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1167924/
Icon:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1167936/
Cursor:
https://gnome-look.org/p/999870/
GTK3:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1013482/1 -
Just made my mom signup for DevRant telling her it's the new "Facebook" haha she wasn't too happy after signing up to realize the platforms purpose.3
-
When you get shocked to see if someone can hate Stackoverflow this much. Troll == Infinity
P.S. zoom if you can't see the image clearly. Sorry for not SO clear screenshot
1 -
So today a colleague confessed to an attempt to troll my computer by SSHing into it and playing random songs. Thankfully he did not manage but he would just happen to do it the day we have a security audit.
-
Are you planning on entering politics?
Because your documentation is dishonest, doesn't mention side effects and is not meant to be read humans workout a law degree.
Your code on the other hand makes me question whether you try to troll us or whether you are actually unable to understand what you were supposed to do. -
We crack jokes at each other and use profanity at all times. Troll other teams with funny git commits. Our slack channel is filled with weird giphys. Currently the most productive team according to the Chief Architect. How open is your work environment?5
-
201, an intro programming course using Python2. Prof was funny. She was a Redditor and slipped the casual troll face or derp face or other rage comic character in her lecture slides.
-
Once I participated in a vacation kayak tour. Some other kid was sure that it was not possible to dual-boot as each OS installed would take up 100% CPU load for a brief moment when turning the machine on. This turned into a serious argument spanning the entire vacation. The fact that I had a working windows/GNUlinux install on a friend‘s PC did not convince him.
Me being an insecure pre-teen made sure to send him video evidence when I got back home (never received a reply ofc).
Looking back, I‘m not sure whether he was dumb or I just got trolled really well.2 -
My friend asked me to set up his git for him
$ git config --global alias.co status
$ git config --global alias.br checkout
$ git config --global alias.ci status
$ git config --global alias.st commit3 -
Just came across a site with TERRIBLE CSS and some sort of event handling to block the user from accessing the dev tools.
So in my Chrome, no F12 and no Ctrl+Shift+I.
Well, guess what. The Tools menu in the title bar also contains a link to Developer Tools.
Me: 1 Them: 010 -
Was trying to read the json data from a json file using python. But was stuck for a very long time as it was giving a json decide error. After much fuss I came to figure out that I forgot to use the read function to read the json data from the file :P1
-
Soo I am currently using Kali to have some fun.
While checking out MITMf I saw you can inject own JS scripts. I immediately begun to work on a "Marcel Davis Injectoin" Troll!
(FYI Marcel Davis is an German meme because he worked for an ISP as "The Service Guy")
My Script changes backgrounds, plays a Meme Song and puts a canvas in front of every input so you can't just click anything.
More features will come! :D stay tuned
7 -
Today I read a comment on devRant about somebody asking what 1337 means. I think most of us know (almost trivial, maybe?), but what is really great is that so many people replied explaining what it means. Some replies were awesome, some were creative, some were just a basic answer to the question.
But none were hateful. ❤️
DevRant is a place for awesome people like you who understand that every one of us doesn't know something every day. That's developer life. That's devRant life too! The other day I told a senior developer about a Haskell project of mine and he asked: 'What is Haskell?' I was impressed, but it taught me a lot.
On devRant I see no troll comments like 'omfg fucking retard, you must be a faggot and live in a dumpster', which are common on the www nowadays and could have been found under a question like 'what is 1337?'. But not here. And this, while I see the occasional swearing in rants, but never at other members.
So thank you for just being normal people among other normal people. We swear at each other's fugly code sometimes, but we are a creative bunch of smart asses that stay classy at it.
👊5 -
I absolutely treasure the bug reports we get from users. Nothing helps bring the product closer to perfection than the informed critique of end-users.
Recently, however, this one dude is filing a new fucking report every time he encounters the same fucking bug. "X happens for operation Y on file A"
"X happens for operation Y on file B"
.
.
.
"X happens for operation Y on file Z"
Jumping Jesus Christ, man, I'm pretty sure we can identify a pattern after the first two!
I don't expect him to know about the work we do to reproduce a problem after one report but fucking hell, have some faith that we'll get the picture after two or three.
These are fully detailed bug reports too, so it's not like he's just being a troll.1 -
Flash back to when The old mouses had the trackballs in them, pulled the mouse apart and pulled the trackball out 🙃
Coming back to recent times, myself and a work mate printed off small troll faces and stuck them to the bottom of the laser mouses around the office huehue1 -
"(Getting) otwelld"
The state of a fallen laravel developer, after he makes a PR to the laravel or lumen documentation and the epic troll otwell closes it within a minute, with the epic meme "already there", although the documentation is absolute dogshit at places and actually merging those PRs would make sense, so not every single developer out there has to make the same mistake or debugging2 -
Quick tip:
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.
God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK
Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.
tl;dr gone off topic -
Trying to explain a game developer in a community, why its a bad idea to only make client side patches for equiptment to appear correctly..
me: because the server needs to be aware of the changes made to avoid faulty calculations, for instance if the client calculates a fatal but the server disagree..
dev: but it works...
me: yes, but not optimally.
dev: Working as intended (TM)
me: ... teh fuq?
not sure if he's a bad troll or wut..1 -
Wasting 7 sheets of paper because of this fucking HP Officejet(6600). ALL I ASKED WAS TO PRINT THAT FREAKING 14 PAGE LONG DOCUMENT AND YOU WITH YOUR FUCKING OWN MIND LET ME UNSTUCK YOU 7 TIMES!!!
Me: Sends the document to the printer.
Printer: Let's do like I am going to print.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
me: Let's open the back and remove the paper.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
Me: Just pressed OK and it continues
WTF YOU AREN'T EVEN STUCK YOU FUCKING STUPID PRINTER.
Looks like every time I send a file to the printer at least the 1st sheet will troll me with that message.
Printer is asking for some free base jumping from the window lessons.2 -
<sanityCheck> //asking for a friend
Some clever b*****ds wrecked a section of our production mysql db. To fix it I need to rollback the affected records 2 weeks - around 50/300 tables are affected, the other data must remain intact.
Currently my plan is to take a 2 week old dump and cherry pick the data I need from it, then combine it with a dump of the db in it's current state, drop the db and recreate it.
I know this approach will work - but it's risky, a pain in the ass and dealing with 300mb text files is tedious so since I only need to start in around 8 hours I figured It wouldn't hurt to post my approach and see if anyone thinks my plan is borderline retarded.
If you have any advice .etc that will make my life easier I would greatly appreciate it.
So in your opinion...
- is there a better/safer way?
- do you know of any db dump merge tools?
- have a recommended (linux) text editor for large text files?
- have you made any personal mistakes/fuck ups in the past you think I should avoid?
- am I just being a moron and overthinking this?
- if I am being a moron - In your humble opinion has the time come for me to give up all hope and pursue my dream of becoming a professional couch surfer?
</sanityCheck>
Note: Alternatively, if your just pissed that my rant is asking for a solution instead of simply trashing the people that created my situation and your secretly wishing it was on SO where it belongs so you can moderate/edit/downvote/mark the shit out it, feel welcome to troll me in the comments (getting dev advice just doesn't feel reliable without a troll - you matter to me). Afterwards If your panties are still in a bunch I'll post it on SO and dm a link to you to personally moderate - my days already fucked and I wouldn't want to ruin yours too.4 -
Why can't we comment with an image attached? I wanna troll some devs with some plain old pics. lol jk. 😂😂😂
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Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
We were looking at the screen confused as to why the SolR queries that weren't working a day before were suddenly working.
Being the troll I am, I mentioned that maybe the little elves that live in little shoes came around and fixed it.
The other guy looked me dead in the eyes and mentioned "But there was no commit message."
We burst out laughing. -
Saw a CSS troll post, here's a general development troll post.
Replace every semicolon (;) with a greek question mark (;) in your colleague's code and watch the compilers, runtime environments, and your colleague scream.5 -
Time for an actual rant.
3rd year of CS.
We have Mobile Systems course - Android & iOS development.
Lectures - 1hr of interview with Steve Jobs about greatness of iOS.
Practice - So far we had to write 2 android apps.
Seems wrong? No, it's perfectly fine for "Course Leader" (idk how the guy is called properly in English)
First app - 3 screens (it was forced to do it with Activities), data passing between activities, lifecycles
Second app - 2 screens - one with ListView (well, I asked about RecyclerView, luckily I was allowed), another one adds elements to that List plus Snackbars, Notifications, list item selection and removing them (I ended up adding retrolambda and streams to write it anyhow). We were asked to do it on Activities, I thought it was an overkill, in the end did it on Fragments.
What pisses me off - we were asked to do those two apps after watching one hour of interview, the guy who leads the practical part of course has no idea how to do things in Android (said it clearly), I was, and still am, only one who knows how to do anything.
I work as Android dev, so I want to help my colleagues. Decided to make tutorial streams where I explain how to do everything.
Troll colleagues come and dislike it on youtube, post lulzy comments into chat. Not that it bothers me much, but still, people who I'm trying to help are mixing my help with shit, great :)
If Polish devranters want to check out those streams (you can write a decent app after watching those 4 hours) I can post them in comment.2 -
If I would be a network administrator , I would troll everyone by creating 2 networks, one called x-fast and another called x-slow. Obviously I would reverse them so the one called slow is actually fast, and the fast one is slow. So I can benefit myself from a private network with no one on it because it's "slow" :-)
Evil me or genius?2 -
Basic story on what this is:
This function when applied a @SideOnly(Side.CLIENT) shouldn't complain that it must be applied on a Side.SERVER.. but IDEA is being a troll and justs complains that this is an issue and must be applied on a Side.SERVER .. but it compiles so eh... i will just let it be...
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If you ever want to troll someone who uses a language with semicolons, replace it with the Greek question mark (;) and laugh at their rage :)2
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Just talked to a Java dev that develops web apps with SOAP API's about testing. Talked to him about SOAP UI ...He didn't know what SOAP UI was. Is he f*cking trolling me or just a guy with the wrong job? I mean he seriously refused to have ever heard about it. Dafuq?
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The troll power to make other developers totally convinced that Prolog is the best language to implement anything in...
I will probably need an undo-power too...1
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