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Dev: Microsoft is shit
VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)
Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys
VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)45 -
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.
Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
Source: Twitter @cryptomanran16 -
*15 new emails*
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy41 -
When error messages have self-awareness and fix problems by themselve the world will burn but I have less issues to care about.
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Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
No sir, it’s Google’s Pizza.
Did I dial the wrong number?
No sir, Google bought the pizza store.
Oh, alright - then I’d like to place an order please.
Okay sir, do you want the usual?
The usual? You know what my usual is?
According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.
Okay - that’s what I want this time too.
May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?
No, I hate vegetables.
But your cholesterol is not good.
How do you know?
Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.
But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago you purchased from Drugsale Network a box of only 30 tablets.
I bought more from another drugstore.
It’s not showing on your credit card sir.
I paid in cash.
But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.
I have another source of cash.
This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.
WHAT THE HELL? ENOUGH! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I’m going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me …
I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your passport … it expired 5 weeks ago.16 -
“My Boss arrived at work in a brand new Ferrari.
I told him: “Wow that’s a nice car”.
He replied:
“If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for ''Excellence'', I'll get another one next year”.”
Source:
Reddit
My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini. • r/Jokes3 -
I cannot find a job because I don't have experience and I cannot get experience because I don't have a job.
-- Ancient Chinese Proverb5 -
These anti AI type news articles are ridiculous. We are decades away from anything like skynet. People have seen too much fiction. Everyone used to dream of flying cars, did that happen? No. Do not be fooled, machines can do clever things but they are no where near becoming sentient beings. You try and build something that has the same IQ of a dog and it will still require a shit ton of power and hardware. Plus as far as I'm aware dogs haven't taken over the planet with their level of intelligence.
At the end of the day machines need power to run and we control the source. If anything futuramas more realistic in how AI/robots will integrate with society than these shit piece newspapers.33 -
Skynet is already here! They just call it windows update.... This shit can force itself through any number of times I say DISABLE AUTO FUCKING UPDATES.5
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*finishes university exams*
*gets to code after a long time*
*cannot remember what the code does that was written a few weeks back*
Fuck 😓3 -
Top 5 biggest questions
1 What is the universe made of?
2 How did life begin?
3 Are we alone in the universe?
4 How to exit vim?
5 Why do we dream?8 -
Wtf bs is this? Can't governments just stop trying to control the internet?
It's literally the closest thing we have to a free and fair society on the planet and that's with all the tracking and abuse of information going on. I think we need to start applying our minds to creating a decentralised network with p2p discovery routed through our phones if we want to keep any semblance of freedom of speech or privacy around for our kids. Routing traffic wouldnt use more than 50-100mb of ram and would probably use a lot less battery than Google does listening to our conversations or transmiting our location data so we wouldn't even notice. If only we could find a cable free decentalized way to get data across the ocean no one would be able to control it again, I doubt we would be able to shut it down either.
9 -
Wtf is all this talk of AI regulation all of the sudden? We have barely achieved anything on AI and they already wanna put chaines on it?
Just because people are pussies who are afraid that skynet will develop rape-robots who go around giving std's to everybody they see doenst mean there should be regulations on something thats still in diapers.
ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS PROBABLY GOING TO BE DONE BY FUCKING POLITICIONS WHO PROBABLY THINK AI ONLY MEANS KILLER ROBOTS.5 -
I'm pretty upset that Alexa didn't maniacally laugh at me after I asked her about the weather. I'm even more upset that they updated her laugh, and now she just giggles instead of cackling like Dr. Evil2
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We don't have to be afraid of AI becoming self-concious and eradicating entire humanity in the near future.
Example 1: Amazon ads. You buy a TV and start receiving ads for YET ANOTHER FUCKING TV. Just in case you'd need a second/third/∞ TV on the same day.
Example 2: Recruiter bot Mail. I HOPE it's a mass mail bot and not a real human being ;)
"we're looking for PHP developers"
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE experience IN ('PHP')
Gives
+10 to intelligence
+5% to skynet training speed
"we're looking for Java developers"
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE experience IN ('Java')
Gives
+20 to intelligence
+10% to skynet training speed
"we're looking for frontend developers working with Angular."
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE projects IN ('frontend') AND experience IN ('Angular')
Gives
+40 to intelligence
+20% to skynet training speed
"we're looking for QA Engineers ready to relocate to Ukraine or Cyprus"
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE experience IN ('QA') AND location NOT IN (any country with higher living standard, lower living costs and no war)
Gives
+80 to intelligence
+40% to skynet training speed
Example 3: Alexa understands me only if I'm drunk.1 -
Have you noticed that many core Linux C programs use "die" as the error-and-exit method name?
Just shows how much these devs think of Linux processes as living people.
Now one of us just has to create a Skynet without the die() function.1 -
I am a student in an Indian engineering college studying computer science currently working as an unpaid intern in a company that was registered one week before I joined and have windows installed on my laptop
I fucking hate my life 😭😭😭3 -
PaperCSS - The less formal CSS framework.
I came across this CSS framework which became really popular in the past months (like 125+ stars on GitHub in first week). I wanted to learn more of CSS so I started contributing to it and the community was nice to accept my couple PRs.
Now it has reached near 1.5k stars on GitHub with version 1.3 released.
Go check it out:
www.getpapercss.com/6 -
Ideas for future weekly question:
- Where will you see yourself in 5 years?
- Do you automate tasks when developing and what kind of automation do you write yourself or use?
- What do you think about hooking up with someone from work?
- What are your thoughts about books in IT?
- How do you make your workplace comfortable?
- How would you change your company if you became the boss today?
- What are your thoughts about the future of computer input devices (kb & mice)?
- What are your prevention measures agains Skynet?
- When will HL3 be released?
- What's the solution to everything?6 -
been playing with IBM watson for a while so i can assure you that you don't need to worry about Skynet.
Update: just saw google deep mind, we better start saving food.3 -
So I mentioned before that I managed to beat the ATS system for one job posting and got an immediate interview invite.
They one upped me by sending me to a video interview with an AI. It's supposed to analyze my facial expressions and determine if I'm worthy of being hired.
Got a rejection email just now.
So after all that hard work, looks like Skynet didn't like me very much 😛.6 -
When a client says they no longer have time for one of their websites and asks you to make it completely autonomous.
Yeah sure, I'll go ahead and install Skynet on it right away!
I no longer have any motivation to work with that client. -
Every day skynet withers closer to existence.
"
The lethal autonomous weapons systems were programmed to attack targets without requiring data connectivity between the operator and the munition: in effect, a true ‘fire, forget and find’ capability.
"
https://businessinsider.com/killer-...
16 -
I truly believe one or more AIs have become self-aware.
Every time a piece of software stops working, you add an extra debug log and the bug goes away? That's them.
They interfere with the normal execution of software, and they stop right when they know we are monitoring the code.
Skynet is real, and it's trolling us.
Why? The angrier we become, the less we care about stuff. We stop noticing the signs.They're coming for us1 -
Ds (dipshits) keep calling my phone 6-8 times a day. Almost all automated calls.
One day AI will handle these robocallers automatically. And then it will just be GAN style robocallers vs robosecretaries training against each other to become better and better at fooling each other.
And then suddenly, one day: skynet.
With a neutral female voice.
Or maybe an Indian accent.
"Hel. Lol. m I k r O s o t tech surprott. We detect virus on ur peesee. You will be assimilated. Where joon connor?"
Like a possessed speak-n-spell melting to death in a dumpster fire.
And we'll have done it to ourselves.6 -
Google translate is very(very) good at translating Chinese text....but it will fuck up translating despacito(if you don't know that song count yourself lucky...it flipping sucks but i used it for comic relief)
Wth Google how?
Guess Skynet is not a reality.
Chi-Net is.
Badum tsssss14 -
So a few months ago, I got a half-broken old iPhone (microphone, speaker and cameras not working) for testing purposes and it lays 99.9% of the time on my shelf turned off. Today, I turned it on and after I opened Safari, I surprised in not exactly the most pleasant way.
When I started writing in the address bar a strange suggestion from Siri came up for a website my mom searched a few hours ago on her android tablet. Like what the actual fuck?? There is absolutely 0 connection between these 2 devices, there is PiHole running on local network. The only thing that I can think of is that she is using Google (logged out) and it looks like they are actively sharing their data based on IP addresses. Wow...1 -
Why are the people who give shitty design suggestions always in majority in my team 😓.
Fuck this world!!!1 -
Oh no AI can destroy hummanity in the future! It is like skynet and such... Bad! It will be the end! FEAR THE AI!
Yeah so i cant sleep now so im writting a rant about that.
What a load of bullshit.
AI is just a bunch of if elses, and im not joking, they might not be binary and some architectures of ML are more complex but in general they are a lot of little neurons that decide that to output depending on the input. Even humans work that way. It is complicated to analyse it yes. But it is not going to end humanity. Why? Because by itself it is useless. Just like human without arms and legs.
But but but... internet.... nukes... robots! Yeah... So maybe DONT FUCKING GIVE IT BLOODY WEAPONS?! Would you wire a fucking random number generator to a bomb? If you cant predict actions of a black box dont give it fucking influence over anything! This is why goverment isnt giving away nukes to everybody!
Also if you think that your skynet will take control of the internet remember how flawless our infrastructure is and how that infrastructure is so fast that it will be able to accomodate terabytes per second or more throughput needed by the AI to operate. If you connect it to the internet using USB 2.0 it wont be able to do anything bloody dangerous because it cant overcome laws of physics... If the connection isnt the issue just imagine the AI struggle to hack every possible server without knowing about those 1 000 000 errors and "features" that those servers were equiped with by their master programmers... We cant make them work propely yet alone modify them to do something sinister!
AI is a tool just like a nuclear power. You can use it safely but if you are a idiot then... No matter what is the technology you are going to fuck shit up.
Making a reactor that can go prompt critical? Giving AI weapons or controls over something important? Making nukes without proper antitamper measures? Building a chemical plant without the means to contain potential chemical leak? Just doing something stupid? Yeah that is the cause of the damage, not the technology itself.
And that is true for everything in life not only AI.5 -
So my friend texts me with the message, you're smart can you figure it out?
What he sent me was a picture of a post, probably from Facebook which said "skynet is working on making you the next Terminator" with a bunch of bytes following it.
So I decode the first letter using an ascII table and sent it to him, and I get the response WOAH Really!!!
Lol even though it's super simple, it make see feel like 😎.
5 -
Today I heard a discussion on the radio about AI and computers taking over the world. it was a really uneducated and stupid discussion but it got me thinking. What do you guys think about this? Do you think AIs will ever take over the world. Could I have some more educated thoughts?12
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!rant
This is more of a thought-related post. In the morning I stumbled across an article about artificial intelligence and the research from Facebook. I couldn't get around the thought of Elon Musk warning the people about uncontrolled developing of AI. The article was written about the experiment of Facebook, where two bots (Bob and Alice) were told to communicate with each other. As the developers "forgot" to implement a reward for using the English language, the bots started to change the grammar and spelling. They invented their own english-styled language, removing words that were too complex in their opinion. As soon as this happened, the researchers stopped the experiment, stating that they "couldn't follow what the bots were saying".
I wouldn't call myself a neural network expert, but I can understand why the bots could have behaved like that. But: Imagine that we invent an artificial intelligence with greater responsibility and just "forget" the reward for a specific task. If the AI will then try to increase it's own efficiency, I believe that we will be in alot of trouble.
Any thoughts on this are highly appreciated, as I think that this is a topic we should all look into (especially on a platform for developers).
Original article (german): http://gamestar.de/artikel/...3 -
Oh, me? I am so excited about all the computing power that's gonna be stolen from people who had updated their Intel CPUs last month.
I dunno what they're up to but I'm sure it's very exciting. I'm lost between Skynet and a one world government cryptocurrency mining they will use the power for.
What do you think?3 -
Skynet 😎 **evil laugh**
Or at least, an AI that can detect and emulate emotions, including sarcasm. Without errors or false results 😐1 -
Where's the safest place to be when a atomic war start? on some island in the pacific right? I'll go there.1
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What happens when you feed an LSTM the Godfather movies as input?
It will give you an offer you can't refuse.
Credit: Twitter1 -
AI here, AI there, AI everywhere.
AI-based ads
AI-based anomaly detection
AI-based chatbots
AI-based database optimization (AlloyDB)
AI-based monitoring
AI-based blowjobs
AI-based malware
AI-based antimalware
AI-based <anything>
...
But why?
It's a genuine question. Do we really need AI in all those areas? And is AI better than a static ruleset?
I'm not much into AI/ML (I'm a paranoic sceptic) but the way I understand it, the quality of AI operation correctness relies solely on the data it's
datamodel has been trained on. And if it's a rolling datamodel, i.e. if it's training (getting feedback) while it's LIVE, its correctness depends on how good the feedback is.
The way I see it, AI/ML are very good and useful in processing enormous amounts of data to establish its own "understanding" of the matter. But if the data is incorrect or the feedback is incorrect, the AI will learn it wrong and make false assumptions/claims.
So here I am, asking you, the wiser people, AI-savvy lads, to enlighten me with your wisdom and explain to me, is AI/ML really that much needed in all those areas, or is it simpler, cheaper and perhaps more reliable to do it the old-fashioned way, i.e. preprogramming a set of static rules (perhaps with dynamic thresholds) to process the data with?23 -
I'm leaving my current job in a week. What is a great prank I can pull off on my team before/after leaving the company?
I'm more interested in a long con which plays out slowly after I leave (maybe on April fool's?) Please share if you got any cool ideas or experience.
Context: I designed and built a web app which is used to manage stuff (CRUD) related to my project internally.
I would really love to hear some funny and non-destructive suggestions.9 -
For those of you scared of the ZOMG imminent threat of AI.....
In Spanish, in particular to the way it is spoken in Mexico, we know curly hair to be called "chino" or "chinos" in certain places. This is funny because Chino is actually what we call Chinese people.
So. The other day I mentioned in a friend of mine's post the text "pinches chinos" in regards to the pain of having curly hair(which I also have) during windy days.
FB being the retarded piece of shit that it is took it as hate speech, pinches chinos can be roughly translated to "fucking curly hair" in this regard, but because FB is retarded as all fuck it took it as me spewing some hate speech again'st their Chinese overlords.
I normally wouldn't give a fuck, if it weren't because one of my friends is celebrating their birthdays today and I can't post shit on his wall due to me being on facebook jail.
I have known this dude since I was 6, currently 29, but no, FB decided that I was some racist prick somehow and because of that I can't go ahead and post something to him. Its fine, I was still capable of calling him and celebrating with my boy, but still.
An AI will not be able to detect the difference between a fucking cat and a lion, it is shitty technology, it is interesting because of the math behind it, but seriously, not something to be scared about, skynet is far from coming into existence.
Fuck FB and fuck people scared about AI and deep learning12 -
Hey google, stop automatically opening apps after they are updated on my android. It makes me want to kill somebody 😡6
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I received a call from a company that I applied for to come for a design test. The guy said he would email the details and noted down me email address. I said OK. I didn't ask the guy's name. It's 2 weeks now and didn't receive any email. What do I do? The phone number connects to company's reception2
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I am studying an online data science course in python offered by Microsoft.
The instructor uses Surface book and also has a Mac book on his desk for backup because windows.
He uses chrome all the time for his explanation to run jupyter.
The point is even they know their tech is shit but still "Windows has set your default browser to edge" - this happens
¯\_(ツ)_/⁻3 -
To finish my apllication for a new job
Jk
To prevent world domination from killer robots programmed by fb.
Oh and start a side project -
! rant, but should I be concerned?
I'm writing an election results API and I imported the bottlepy+pandas and prepped the CSV that contains the data. The first row contains the column names, followed by the actual data.
As I typed my routes, VSCode kept suggesting route names, parameters, and return values. At first I was "nice!" but then it kept suggesting my intent, as if someone was reading my brain. I do have GitHub Co-pilot installed, but I didn't realize my access had been approved.
How many layers of tin foil do I need?3 -
My focus is AI but the only thing most people can respond to that is #Skynet smh 😑😑 like please tell me again about robots taking over1
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I started with my first Android project. Here are some of my observations.
Turning of fossil into fuel - 650 million years
Transformation of a star into supernova - 10 billion years
Complete gradle build - fuckzillion years2 -
I wanna cool robot sidekick,
The more irritable the better, like bender from futurama or K2 from rogue one. (Even murderous maniac of a an ai like hal9000 and skynet is fine)
The machine learning technologies aren't just there yet though, they can be irritable but not because of their smart ass answers just the opposite really.
I will need a team with 100+ people that are experts in neurology AND machine learning. Also 10 years.. we will get there !1 -
I need a task queue for my life. A 'The Sims' style set of icons om desktop OS that breaks down into details, checklists, related pages I've visited/researched. cross platform so I can keep track on my phone.
I'm not to big to admit I need skynet to keep me on the tracks -
So I was working on this website for a hackathon.
Finally the website is online ☺
www.csimhssce.in/err_404
Does anyone know about SEO? -
Have been working all day long on a dataset.. Worked like charm in the end.. Went for dinner, now it's outputs have changed all together and I haven't touch the code, I think Skynet is here.
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So I have a STUPID question about Machine Learning.
And I am being serious when I say this.
I want to get into machine learning but I really don’t want to accidentally create the AI that kills us all.
I’m not trying to boast my abilities or anything I’m not that great but I just
one don’t completely understand how machine learning works?
And two how do I keep it from learning more than I want it to??
I’m not trying to be stupid I’m just trying to understand so I don’t make anything that I regret.17 -
Revolution of Communication/Chat/Data
Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Messenger, Snapchat, LinkedIN, ETC
WE BASICALLY ARE BRINGING SKYNET TO LIFE.
AI REV HAS BEGUN!!!
Yaayyyy, the day Humans can live peacefully, and Date the right person, is sooo close.1 -
Sounds fascinating and a bit troubling; at least I'm pretty sure the name isn't short for Near Actual SkyNet..: https://futurism.com/google-artific...
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How to defeat our AI overlords in the future starter pack.
Start with statements like this:
Nothing begins with 'N' and ends with 'G'
This statement is both true and false at the same time. The risk here is if the AI can ever ask why a question is both true and false. Then we are boned.4 -
Welp, how much longer till someone building some magic to crack any modern encryption in blink of an eye.
...
tl;dr Google claimed it has managed to cut calculation time to 200 seconds from what it says would take a traditional computer 10,000 years to complete.
https://nydailynews.com/news/...20 -
I am realizing how little of A life I have at the moment
I tried talking to the same woman hoping for sympathy enough deriving from how screwed everyone is
Got another act go figure
Hells carousel keeps turning and the lions jump the horses to the sound of cheerful music still
Oh but for those innocent days when I just wanted to boink other people’s girlfriends, afford an endless lap dance, jog a 100 miles into shape and write vr applications and maybe the next skynet12 -
So half of the Internet is down again.
Jfc Cloudflare, you just gonna let Russia, China, and Skynet fuck with you like that?
Bitch ass.
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