Tech/IT worker compass

Fuck Jira

In my opinion, absolutely flawless =D

On a past project, every sprint planning was the most unproductive meeting. We were expected to fix all open bugs each sprint, so there was literally nothing to plan. How do you prioritize when the goal is “do everything”? 😂

Developer Swag

Newcomer: I can do fizzbuzz in 6 lines of code

Experienced: I can do fizzbuzz in 3 lines of code

Professional: I can do fizzbuzz in 1 line of code

Enterprise: you did not create the user epic for this problem, I can't accept these solutions until you have done this. Please speak with Mike on getting this properly setup. I expect a full report of this by Monday.

Them: but it's Friday...

Enterprise: Get it done. I am not paying your overtime either

https://github.com/EnterpriseQualit...

Where I work, this is something that happens daily because manager (non-programming MBA) want everything now without proper design and architecture.

Oh for crying out loud, Github is stopping with the term 'master' due to its 'negative association'.

Can we please not pull everything out of goddamn context and not be a fucking offended special snowflake with ANYTHING that could potentially be thought of in a way that could be associated with slavery?!

If we're gonna do it like this I want to ask people of color not to use white/light themed websites/backgrounds.

A website coding itself. Worth looking! https://www.strml.net/
(not the author, BTW)

We support you ...

This is so accurate...

(From random twitter post)

Fullstack

*random person stars my repo on Github*

Me: Fuck yes give me those stars!

*checks user's profile, has starred 40k repositories*

Me: Take that star back you whore.

I was never offended so much by something that I 100% agree with

It happens all the time...

Today I learned that someone wrote a Python interpreter in JavaScript called Brython. So now you can include a framework to write shitty code in a buggy framework and tell your users to throw more hardware at it.

The guy I heard this from also believed that his code would somehow be "compiled" rather than what's essentially a framework be loaded and then execute code in a language not native to the browser...

So now you can write JavaScript where it doesn't belong in Node and write Python where it doesn't belong through a framework. Frontend and backend are so passé, we might as well start calling it fluid instead.

FULLSCHTAK!!!

🙂🔫

True or not? ;)

I want Gordon Ramsey to start a IT program in the same fashion as Hotel Hell and Kitchen Nightmares

He'll sit at a desk with a laptop, examining code as if he's eating food, venting frustrations and screaming insults out loud

Then he'll have a talk with the team and see how they work on a day

After that he'll go into the freezer (server room) and scream at mold and cockroaches

Then comes the intervention where we discover that the PM is still grieving about the death of his original programming language and the team loves him but thinks he should move on

The next day the development studio is modernised and has a candy bar, tennis table and everyone is forced to use linux on their new macbooks

Then we experience a good day where everything is great and velocity is through the roof

Then Gordon leaves and everything is shit again

Use Vim. What could happen?...

mood asf

Why is the contributing manual of your open source project more thoughtfully cultivated than your code style guide and testing procedure?

Why the fuck do you care about the message in my PR, or even merge vs rebase of commits, when your spaghetti-tomatosource is so richly saturated with critically minced bugmeat?

Why are you standing there, shouting at me about your convoluted rules, in your little brown uniform? Why do I feel like the enemy when I contribute a useful fix, something which makes the code work better?

You know what, fuck all of you, you jilted acetous neckbeards, I will deploy my secret weapon, I will bypass the power you hold over your tiny fascist digital dominions.

If you play it like this, I will summon the nefarious vile side of Open Source. I will usurp your throne. I will stab out your crying eyes, rip out your conceited tongue, impale your lonely heart.

Tremble before me! I wield the almighty, legendary Fork!

The king is dead, long live the king!

May your code rest in peace!

Well, ... Ok ...

Ok bye....

Feels like I am coding with mittens on today ... Sloowwww prooogressss ... Isit weekend yet? Pretty please?

Not related to anyone...

The accuracy

One of the coolest good bye message I have ever seen in my company...

The code is so clean with proper comments...

What happened with proprietary OS?
Now if you don't have an SSD ,the whole UI is so slow.

It only happens with MacOs and Windows.

One more reason to use Linux

............